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1
00:00:09,568 --> 00:00:10,234
[yawns]
2
00:00:10,327 --> 00:00:12,368
[crowing like a rooster]
3
00:00:12,370 --> 00:00:13,828
I really hope
you chumps are happy,
4
00:00:13,922 --> 00:00:15,922
'cause I had to open up
at 6:00 a.m. here.
5
00:00:16,017 --> 00:00:17,016
Thank you, Moe.
6
00:00:17,243 --> 00:00:18,425
And thank you, pro football,
7
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:21,854
for playing your worst games
every year in London.
8
00:00:22,005 --> 00:00:23,747
Yeah, the games start so early,
9
00:00:23,766 --> 00:00:26,600
now we can spend Sunday morning
as God intended--
10
00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:29,028
not in church!
11
00:00:29,104 --> 00:00:31,697
And still drunk from last night.
12
00:00:31,848 --> 00:00:33,681
[British announcer]
Welcome back to Wembley Stadium
13
00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:35,183
where the score at the interval
14
00:00:35,277 --> 00:00:37,685
is Jacksonville Jaguars 25,
15
00:00:37,780 --> 00:00:39,872
Buffalo Williams nil.
16
00:00:40,099 --> 00:00:42,449
Oh, boy, I got 100 quid
on the Jag-u-ars,
17
00:00:42,601 --> 00:00:44,268
and I don't even know
how much that is.
18
00:00:44,361 --> 00:00:46,270
I'm Buffalo all the way.
19
00:00:46,363 --> 00:00:48,363
Ten bob, six shillings, baby.
20
00:00:48,457 --> 00:00:50,440
You know, I've dabbled
in a lot of anonymouses
21
00:00:50,534 --> 00:00:51,625
but never gambling.
22
00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:53,886
I always thought
betting was for class acts,
23
00:00:54,113 --> 00:00:56,704
like, uh, James Bond
or Pete Rose
24
00:00:56,799 --> 00:00:58,282
or Secretariat.
25
00:00:58,375 --> 00:00:59,892
Why don't you give it a try,
Moseph?
26
00:01:00,119 --> 00:01:02,636
Yeah, make one little bet
on the next game.
27
00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:03,878
Baltimore-Detroit.
28
00:01:03,898 --> 00:01:05,380
It's harmless fun.
29
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:08,809
Uh, uh, all right,
I guess I could bet a buck.
30
00:01:08,961 --> 00:01:10,736
That's nothing
to get too worked up about.
31
00:01:10,963 --> 00:01:11,978
[Moe grunts]
32
00:01:12,131 --> 00:01:14,406
[Homer grunting]
33
00:01:14,633 --> 00:01:16,108
[exasperated grunt]
34
00:01:16,260 --> 00:01:18,577
[Homer]
The walrus has his own money.
35
00:01:18,804 --> 00:01:21,138
[announcer] And we are underway
here in Baltimore,
36
00:01:21,231 --> 00:01:24,324
as the Ravens take on
the Detroit Lions.
37
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:26,109
Beautiful day for football.
38
00:01:26,236 --> 00:01:27,811
...and Detroit scores!
39
00:01:27,904 --> 00:01:29,646
-[whoops]
-Baltimore ties it up!
40
00:01:29,665 --> 00:01:31,148
Detroit kick is good.
41
00:01:31,166 --> 00:01:32,649
Touchdown Baltimore!
42
00:01:32,668 --> 00:01:34,259
...and Detroit is coming back.
43
00:01:34,486 --> 00:01:36,336
Baltimore retakes the lead.
44
00:01:36,488 --> 00:01:39,598
Man, this game could go
either way.
45
00:01:39,825 --> 00:01:41,158
Detroit player injured.
46
00:01:41,176 --> 00:01:43,102
Baltimore just might
pull it out.
47
00:01:43,253 --> 00:01:44,828
Oh, my God, I'm gonna win!
48
00:01:44,847 --> 00:01:47,022
Turns out I was a winner
all my life.
49
00:01:48,091 --> 00:01:49,333
[announcer]
Oh, but what's this?
50
00:01:49,351 --> 00:01:51,610
Detroit scores
a last-second safety
51
00:01:51,761 --> 00:01:54,113
and the Lions are victorious.
52
00:01:54,340 --> 00:01:57,524
De-who scores an un-what
and the wheres are wha-torious?
53
00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:59,343
Geez. Tough luck, Moe.
54
00:01:59,361 --> 00:02:00,101
You lost.
55
00:02:00,195 --> 00:02:01,678
Damn you, Balty-more!
56
00:02:01,697 --> 00:02:05,015
You crab-infested
Edgar Allan Poe-munchers!
57
00:02:05,033 --> 00:02:06,125
[muttering]
58
00:02:06,276 --> 00:02:07,684
Uh, calm down, Moe.
59
00:02:07,686 --> 00:02:08,869
It was just a dollar.
60
00:02:09,037 --> 00:02:10,129
To you it was just a dollar!
61
00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:12,356
To me it was a whole simoleon!
All right?!
62
00:02:12,358 --> 00:02:13,707
Get the hell out of here!
All of youse!
63
00:02:13,859 --> 00:02:14,949
-Bar's closed!
-[yelping]
64
00:02:15,043 --> 00:02:17,527
-[Homer] We're leaving!
-You, too, Slumpo!
65
00:02:17,546 --> 00:02:19,555
Slumpo?
66
00:02:20,699 --> 00:02:21,789
[thunks]
67
00:02:21,884 --> 00:02:22,883
[squishes]
68
00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:25,269
I don't like
the sound of that squish.
69
00:02:27,130 --> 00:02:29,523
Guys, I think Larry's...
70
00:02:30,726 --> 00:02:31,966
...dead.
71
00:02:31,986 --> 00:02:34,895
[organ playing]
72
00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:36,321
I don't know
why we had to come here.
73
00:02:36,548 --> 00:02:37,489
Funerals are stupid.
74
00:02:37,641 --> 00:02:39,825
You're all excused
from coming to mine.
75
00:02:39,976 --> 00:02:41,827
Good. I had something
that day anyway.
76
00:02:42,054 --> 00:02:43,887
[quietly]
I didn't have anything that day.
77
00:02:43,906 --> 00:02:46,056
Homie, you have to pay
your respects.
78
00:02:46,225 --> 00:02:48,667
You spent more time with Larry
than your own kids.
79
00:02:48,818 --> 00:02:50,002
That's not true at all.
80
00:02:50,229 --> 00:02:52,487
Who's my best friend?
What's my favorite subject?
81
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,006
Who do I admire most
in the world?
82
00:02:54,157 --> 00:02:56,066
How old am I?
And what color's my bike?
83
00:02:56,084 --> 00:02:58,844
Pass. Pass. Crackle
from Snap, Crackle, and Pop.
84
00:02:58,995 --> 00:03:00,828
Pass. And trick question--
85
00:03:00,923 --> 00:03:03,182
you have a skateboard.
86
00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:07,227
Huh. I'm strangely comforted
by the passes.
87
00:03:09,264 --> 00:03:11,648
[Marge]
Wow, light turnout.
88
00:03:14,177 --> 00:03:16,770
I'm so glad
you guys could make it.
89
00:03:16,922 --> 00:03:17,921
How could we not?
90
00:03:17,923 --> 00:03:19,531
Larry was... around.
91
00:03:19,758 --> 00:03:22,367
So we just throw some money
into this tip jar here?
92
00:03:22,519 --> 00:03:25,595
What's the right amount?
One? Five?
93
00:03:25,689 --> 00:03:26,596
One?
94
00:03:26,690 --> 00:03:27,931
This is gonna take a while.
95
00:03:28,024 --> 00:03:29,857
Want to crash a few funerals?
96
00:03:30,026 --> 00:03:32,336
Eh, I'm already wearing a dress.
97
00:03:33,439 --> 00:03:35,105
[Sea Captain]
So as you sail alone
98
00:03:35,123 --> 00:03:37,457
'cross the wine-dark seas
of eternity,
99
00:03:37,609 --> 00:03:40,944
you shall remain evermore
in our hearts.
100
00:03:40,963 --> 00:03:44,281
Yarr-I-P, my feathered friend.
101
00:03:44,299 --> 00:03:48,468
You always said that you wanted
one of these, Polly.
102
00:03:48,620 --> 00:03:51,045
And now you have one.
103
00:03:51,139 --> 00:03:52,731
[all crying]
Arr!
104
00:03:52,882 --> 00:03:54,382
Arr! Arr!
105
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:56,960
[chuckles]
Check me out, Lis!
106
00:03:57,053 --> 00:03:58,979
I'm bearing pall!
107
00:03:59,131 --> 00:04:01,556
Aunt Eunice,
you saw us through so much,
108
00:04:01,650 --> 00:04:02,983
triumph and sorrow,
109
00:04:03,135 --> 00:04:05,469
and it's a comfort to know
that you died at 92
110
00:04:05,562 --> 00:04:06,803
of natural causes.
111
00:04:06,822 --> 00:04:07,988
Natural causes?
112
00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:10,749
She clearly died
from the vaccine!
113
00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:13,252
You shut up,
Robert F. Quimby Jr.!
114
00:04:13,328 --> 00:04:15,645
You're an embarrassment
to this family.
115
00:04:15,664 --> 00:04:17,481
And that's saying a lot!
116
00:04:17,499 --> 00:04:19,149
[playing organ]
117
00:04:19,167 --> 00:04:20,834
Sorry I'm late. Uh...
118
00:04:20,986 --> 00:04:22,076
[quietly]
Who are we doing today?
119
00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:24,821
A sad, balding drunk
120
00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:27,657
-who hung out at Moe's.
-Got it.
121
00:04:27,676 --> 00:04:32,829
Homer Simpson was a beloved
pillar of this community.
122
00:04:32,922 --> 00:04:34,623
He thinks you died.
123
00:04:34,683 --> 00:04:35,774
Do something.
124
00:04:35,925 --> 00:04:37,667
Why? He's saying nice things.
125
00:04:37,761 --> 00:04:39,427
You never call me a pillar.
126
00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:41,446
-[speaking indistinctly]
-He's not?
127
00:04:41,598 --> 00:04:43,240
Are you sure?
128
00:04:46,178 --> 00:04:48,436
Uh... anyhoo,
129
00:04:48,514 --> 00:04:52,032
and now a few words
from Larry's mother,
130
00:04:52,126 --> 00:04:54,418
Iris Dalrymple.
131
00:04:56,021 --> 00:05:01,282
Well, my Lawrence always talked
about his best friends,
132
00:05:01,302 --> 00:05:04,194
the fellows at Moe's Tavern.
133
00:05:04,212 --> 00:05:07,121
It would warm my heart
if they came up
134
00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:11,018
and shared fond memories
of my son.
135
00:05:12,295 --> 00:05:13,720
[quietly]
I'm not talking. You talk.
136
00:05:13,872 --> 00:05:15,205
-I didn't know him.
-No one did.
137
00:05:15,223 --> 00:05:16,556
Your stool was closest.
138
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:21,728
Perhaps one of you could talk
about Larry's love of fishing.
139
00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:23,822
Uh, uh, one time,
140
00:05:23,973 --> 00:05:26,049
we went
to this great fishing lake.
141
00:05:26,142 --> 00:05:27,308
Lake Fish.
142
00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:30,287
Oh, yeah.
Fish Lake was full of...
143
00:05:31,557 --> 00:05:32,572
...fish.
144
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:35,575
You know who always caught
the biggest fish?
145
00:05:35,727 --> 00:05:36,668
Who? Who?
146
00:05:36,820 --> 00:05:39,229
I-I, uh... I want to say Larry?
147
00:05:39,247 --> 00:05:40,580
[chuckles]
Big Fish Larry.
148
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:42,156
Oh, yeah. Larry, indeed.
149
00:05:42,176 --> 00:05:43,583
[Lenny]
Watch out, fish!
150
00:05:43,735 --> 00:05:45,302
What a true story.
151
00:05:47,406 --> 00:05:49,997
-Oof.
-Why did you
never take the time
152
00:05:50,075 --> 00:05:51,908
to get to know this man?
153
00:05:51,927 --> 00:05:53,243
Hey, at least we came, huh?
154
00:05:53,261 --> 00:05:55,020
Hey, Barney totally blew this
off.
155
00:05:55,171 --> 00:05:57,097
Said he had something
more important to do.
156
00:05:57,249 --> 00:05:59,416
Eh, selfish jerk.
157
00:05:59,585 --> 00:06:00,842
[creaking]
158
00:06:00,919 --> 00:06:02,986
[speaking Spanish]
159
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:08,942
[cheering]
160
00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,427
[belches]
161
00:06:10,445 --> 00:06:14,206
Marge, Larry just didn't fit
into our band of bros.
162
00:06:14,357 --> 00:06:16,375
The four of us
are closer than close.
163
00:06:16,602 --> 00:06:18,210
Yeah, we're like
the Sex and the City broads,
164
00:06:18,361 --> 00:06:20,103
except, uh, super gross.
165
00:06:20,122 --> 00:06:22,789
Yeah, Larry just wasn't part
of our deal.
166
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:25,158
Because you never asked him
to be.
167
00:06:25,310 --> 00:06:28,945
All he ever wanted was
a simple human connection.
168
00:06:28,964 --> 00:06:33,725
But, instead,
he died unloved in a bar.
169
00:06:33,877 --> 00:06:34,968
[Homer moans softly]
170
00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:37,137
♪ Ah ♪
171
00:06:37,289 --> 00:06:41,316
♪ Look at all
the lonely barflies ♪
172
00:06:42,477 --> 00:06:43,977
♪ Ah ♪
173
00:06:44,129 --> 00:06:47,906
♪ Look at all
the lonely barflies ♪
174
00:06:48,967 --> 00:06:52,802
♪ Larry the barfly
sat at a stool every night ♪
175
00:06:52,896 --> 00:06:55,062
♪ And he ordered a beer ♪
176
00:06:55,157 --> 00:06:57,732
♪ Shedding a tear ♪
177
00:06:57,793 --> 00:06:59,309
♪ Look at him eating ♪
178
00:06:59,327 --> 00:07:01,161
♪ Checking his phone all alone ♪
179
00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:03,813
♪ As he sits with his pain ♪
180
00:07:03,832 --> 00:07:06,741
♪ Chicken chow mein ♪
181
00:07:06,835 --> 00:07:09,152
♪ All the lonely Larrys ♪
182
00:07:09,171 --> 00:07:13,098
♪ They all come to an end ♪
183
00:07:13,325 --> 00:07:16,176
♪ All the lonely Larrys ♪
184
00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:22,441
♪ Forgotten by their friends. ♪
185
00:07:22,668 --> 00:07:25,110
Is it possible
we're terrible people?
186
00:07:25,337 --> 00:07:28,672
Yes, but the one
I'm really disappointed in is...
187
00:07:28,765 --> 00:07:30,523
-Lenny.
-What?
188
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:34,861
You just always struck me as a
sensitive guy with a good heart.
189
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,179
I did?
190
00:07:36,198 --> 00:07:39,273
I'm so sorry to interrupt,
gentlemen,
191
00:07:39,293 --> 00:07:42,169
but I found this
in my son's room.
192
00:07:45,448 --> 00:07:46,873
It's all five of us.
193
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:50,969
Hey, it kind of looks like we're
in front of Serenity Falls.
194
00:07:52,622 --> 00:07:56,533
I know. We should all take
Larry's ashes there, together.
195
00:07:56,626 --> 00:08:00,020
-[Carl and Moe and Homer] Huh?
-It's the sensitive thing to do.
196
00:08:01,223 --> 00:08:04,149
[gasps]
That's a wonderful idea.
197
00:08:04,376 --> 00:08:05,817
I can't go to Serenity Falls.
198
00:08:06,044 --> 00:08:07,802
It sounds stressful!
199
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:08,653
[Marge grunts]
200
00:08:08,805 --> 00:08:09,988
And I...
201
00:08:10,215 --> 00:08:11,639
love stress?
202
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:14,901
[Lenny]
The four amigos are on the road!
203
00:08:15,053 --> 00:08:16,995
Or should I say "five"?
204
00:08:17,146 --> 00:08:19,998
♪ All the lonely barflies ♪
205
00:08:20,149 --> 00:08:23,576
♪ Confronting mortal dread ♪
206
00:08:23,729 --> 00:08:26,988
♪ Their souls
in need of searching ♪
207
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:31,426
♪ They booze it up instead. ♪
208
00:08:37,242 --> 00:08:39,425
See, Larry? We're not so bad.
209
00:08:39,578 --> 00:08:40,927
We're taking you
to your special place,
210
00:08:41,079 --> 00:08:42,762
Serenity Falls.
211
00:08:42,914 --> 00:08:44,080
Let's get this over with.
212
00:08:44,099 --> 00:08:45,673
I got a big date with my girl.
213
00:08:45,767 --> 00:08:48,935
Naima's taking me to see
the reunited Kool & the Gang.
214
00:08:49,104 --> 00:08:51,254
Didn't she date one of the Gang?
215
00:08:51,347 --> 00:08:52,346
One of?
216
00:08:52,366 --> 00:08:54,015
She dated Kool.
217
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:57,077
-Whoa! Kool!
-Wow!
-Ooh.
218
00:08:58,263 --> 00:09:00,354
We spent a million hours
with this guy,
219
00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:02,115
but he never felt
like one of us.
220
00:09:02,267 --> 00:09:05,026
He was a drunk,
and we're just social drinkers
221
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,452
who also drink alone.
222
00:09:06,547 --> 00:09:07,862
Two different worlds.
223
00:09:07,989 --> 00:09:10,957
I just hope that if Larry knew
we were doing this,
224
00:09:11,034 --> 00:09:12,533
it would make him happy.
225
00:09:12,627 --> 00:09:14,444
[chuckles]
Yeah, as happy as Naima
226
00:09:14,537 --> 00:09:16,888
when she was dishing it out
to Kool, huh?
227
00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:18,948
-Would you shut up?!
-Sorry, sorry.
228
00:09:18,967 --> 00:09:20,784
Hey, let's listen
to some music, huh?
229
00:09:20,802 --> 00:09:22,619
Get your mind off of, uh...
230
00:09:22,637 --> 00:09:23,711
you know, things.
231
00:09:23,805 --> 00:09:25,288
♪ Get down on it ♪
232
00:09:25,307 --> 00:09:26,973
♪ Get down on it... ♪
233
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,567
[Carl groaning]
234
00:09:33,298 --> 00:09:34,981
Could you turn off the light?
235
00:09:35,133 --> 00:09:37,242
And leave Larry all alone
in the dark?
236
00:09:37,393 --> 00:09:39,411
[chuckles]
Can you believe this guy?
237
00:09:39,562 --> 00:09:40,561
Larry's not here!
238
00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:41,638
He's dead!
239
00:09:41,656 --> 00:09:42,914
His ghost is here.
240
00:09:43,066 --> 00:09:43,915
Aw, come on, Lenny.
241
00:09:44,067 --> 00:09:45,325
Ghosts ain't real, huh?
242
00:09:45,477 --> 00:09:46,659
Yes, they are.
243
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:49,813
I believe that Larry's ghost
is hovering above us,
244
00:09:49,831 --> 00:09:51,572
blowing out birthday candles,
245
00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:54,167
helping figure skaters
land their jumps
246
00:09:54,319 --> 00:09:57,837
and cooling down hot soup
with his icy cold ghost finger.
247
00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,839
Lenny, Lenny, Lenny.
248
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,158
Everybody knows
that when you die,
249
00:10:02,251 --> 00:10:04,436
your soul becomes cosmic energy,
250
00:10:04,663 --> 00:10:06,679
until your consciousness
is reborn
251
00:10:06,832 --> 00:10:10,091
as a creature that befits
your metaphysical station,
252
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,517
be it mighty moose
253
00:10:11,594 --> 00:10:13,469
or a proud paramecium.
254
00:10:13,521 --> 00:10:15,429
Shut your traps,
you deluded freaks.
255
00:10:15,523 --> 00:10:17,115
Here's the deal--
when you croak,
256
00:10:17,266 --> 00:10:19,175
it's just a sad, silent void.
257
00:10:19,194 --> 00:10:21,511
Nothin'. And it's not even
a regular nothin'.
258
00:10:21,646 --> 00:10:23,363
It's an absence
of everything, huh?
259
00:10:23,515 --> 00:10:25,290
Where no matter
how hard you think,
260
00:10:25,441 --> 00:10:28,109
you can't imagine
how nothin' it is.
261
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,444
Like that abandoned mall
where the JC Pennys
262
00:10:30,538 --> 00:10:31,871
is full of bears?
263
00:10:32,023 --> 00:10:32,872
No.
264
00:10:33,024 --> 00:10:34,524
[scoffs]
You're all wrong.
265
00:10:34,542 --> 00:10:37,026
Why have questions
when we have the Bible?
266
00:10:37,045 --> 00:10:39,045
I didn't serve
20 years to life in church
267
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:42,031
not to cash in on
those frequent prayer miles.
268
00:10:42,166 --> 00:10:43,791
I can't wait till I die
269
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,477
so I can slide in next to Larry
270
00:10:45,628 --> 00:10:48,647
and eat buffalo angel wings
for all eternity
271
00:10:48,874 --> 00:10:51,724
without a celery stick in sight.
272
00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:52,984
-Ghosts.
-Void.
273
00:10:53,211 --> 00:10:54,878
-Space moose.
-Wings.
274
00:10:54,971 --> 00:10:56,613
Don't listen to them,
ghost Larry.
275
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,327
Void!
276
00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,705
First pee of the day.
Let's make it count.
277
00:11:06,983 --> 00:11:09,292
[mutters indistinctly]
278
00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:13,296
[yelps]
Larry, get back in your jar.
279
00:11:14,157 --> 00:11:16,082
What the hell is this?
280
00:11:16,234 --> 00:11:18,584
And this, and this.
281
00:11:18,737 --> 00:11:20,920
What parts of Larry were these?
282
00:11:21,072 --> 00:11:23,348
[groans unhappily]
283
00:11:24,409 --> 00:11:25,350
[whistling]
284
00:11:25,501 --> 00:11:28,061
Hey, Homer, what you doing
down there?
285
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:32,098
Sweet Tabasco Sally,
286
00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:34,526
is thems what I think
thems is?
287
00:11:37,513 --> 00:11:38,530
Hmm.
288
00:11:38,757 --> 00:11:39,939
Sapphires.
289
00:11:40,091 --> 00:11:41,424
Larry's ashes were full of them.
290
00:11:41,443 --> 00:11:42,442
What gives?
291
00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:44,427
Larry must have had
these Smurf-stones
292
00:11:44,446 --> 00:11:46,946
crammed up his wazoo
when they crematized him.
293
00:11:47,098 --> 00:11:48,189
[pops]
294
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,690
He must have been moving
stolen gems
295
00:11:49,784 --> 00:11:52,210
across the northern border
by stuffing them up
296
00:11:52,437 --> 00:11:54,270
his southern pass.
[laughs]
297
00:11:54,363 --> 00:11:57,774
All I knows is Larry is dead,
and we are rich.
298
00:11:57,792 --> 00:11:58,775
Oh, my God, you're right.
299
00:11:58,793 --> 00:12:00,960
We gotta tell Lenny and Carl.
300
00:12:01,112 --> 00:12:02,036
Uh, uh, real quick sidebar.
301
00:12:02,130 --> 00:12:04,538
Um, do we really want to bother
302
00:12:04,632 --> 00:12:05,782
our gentlemen friends
303
00:12:05,875 --> 00:12:09,285
with this here, uh,
gemalogical situation?
304
00:12:09,304 --> 00:12:11,378
-Why wouldn't we?
-Aw, bless your heart.
305
00:12:11,473 --> 00:12:14,899
But whatever money
these corpse jewels yield,
306
00:12:15,051 --> 00:12:17,718
we'd be crazy to split it
four ways.
307
00:12:17,812 --> 00:12:20,313
-[groans, grunts]
-[groans]
308
00:12:20,465 --> 00:12:22,073
Look, you and me
need this money
309
00:12:22,150 --> 00:12:23,891
way more than Lenny and Carl,
all right?
310
00:12:23,985 --> 00:12:25,392
You got an expensive
trophy wife
311
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:26,986
and, like, a thousand
crazy kids.
312
00:12:27,063 --> 00:12:28,763
And all I got is a crummy bar
313
00:12:28,765 --> 00:12:30,640
full of toxic black mold.
314
00:12:30,733 --> 00:12:32,308
What?
[coughs]
315
00:12:32,327 --> 00:12:36,045
I guess I do have
a lot of financial burdens.
316
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:41,000
-[knock on door]
-[Carl] Hey, open up.
317
00:12:41,152 --> 00:12:43,244
I gotta record my gum depth.
318
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:46,413
Two, two, two, three, two...
319
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:47,840
Okay, getting ready to lie
to our friends.
320
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,434
And... showtime!
321
00:12:49,511 --> 00:12:52,103
Good morning, dearest Carlton.
322
00:12:52,330 --> 00:12:54,439
I know what's going on in here.
323
00:12:54,590 --> 00:12:56,257
-I, um...
-Uh, uh...
324
00:12:56,334 --> 00:12:58,443
You guys were getting up early
325
00:12:58,612 --> 00:13:00,945
to use the two free
continental breakfast vouchers
326
00:13:01,172 --> 00:13:02,338
without us.
327
00:13:02,357 --> 00:13:06,100
Well, we're using 'em.
Me and Larry.
328
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:08,769
Don't worry,
we'll get our chance.
329
00:13:08,863 --> 00:13:10,163
[Moe hums greedily]
330
00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:18,037
Wait a sec, this ain't
the road to the Falls.
331
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:19,613
Yeah, I took the scenic route.
332
00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:23,209
I thought Larry would appreciate
seeing those wildflowers.
333
00:13:23,361 --> 00:13:26,137
Guess who planted those.
Lady Bird Johnson.
334
00:13:26,289 --> 00:13:27,380
What the hell, Lenny?
335
00:13:27,532 --> 00:13:29,474
You know I gotta get back
to save my lady
336
00:13:29,625 --> 00:13:31,309
from the clutches of
Kool and the Gang.
337
00:13:31,386 --> 00:13:33,036
I thought you weren't worried.
338
00:13:33,054 --> 00:13:34,312
Of course I'm worried.
339
00:13:34,463 --> 00:13:38,041
They won the 2014 Soul Train
Music Legend award.
340
00:13:38,059 --> 00:13:39,725
-Now let's get back
on the highway.
-[yelps]
341
00:13:39,894 --> 00:13:42,045
-[grunts] Give it!
-[tires screeching]
342
00:13:42,063 --> 00:13:43,563
[indistinct shouting]
343
00:13:43,715 --> 00:13:45,281
[both cry out]
344
00:13:52,148 --> 00:13:53,998
[tires screech]
345
00:13:56,728 --> 00:13:58,503
-Phew.
-[groaning] Oh...
346
00:13:58,654 --> 00:14:01,673
I'm sorry, Carl.
I'll get back on the highway.
347
00:14:01,749 --> 00:14:03,842
No. You go however you want.
348
00:14:04,027 --> 00:14:06,052
Let's do right by Larry.
349
00:14:12,577 --> 00:14:13,409
[both]
Larry!
350
00:14:13,428 --> 00:14:15,353
[Homer and Moe]
Our secret gems!
351
00:14:15,504 --> 00:14:16,563
[panting]
352
00:14:17,673 --> 00:14:19,098
Nothing to see here, huh?
353
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,008
Just, uh,
crystalized Larry chunks.
354
00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:22,418
[whispering]
Gems. Gems, gems, gems.
355
00:14:22,511 --> 00:14:24,587
Gems. Gems, gems.
Precious gems.
356
00:14:24,606 --> 00:14:27,348
There were sapphires
in Larry's urn?
357
00:14:27,475 --> 00:14:28,441
And you knew?
358
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,927
Look, guys, we can explain.
You see...
359
00:14:30,945 --> 00:14:32,612
Homer talked me into
screwing youse over
360
00:14:32,764 --> 00:14:34,931
so we could keep them gems
all for ourselves, all right?
361
00:14:34,933 --> 00:14:36,949
-[both] What?
-You liar!
362
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:38,293
[sheriff]
Hands up.
363
00:14:39,662 --> 00:14:42,046
Back away from the urn.
364
00:14:45,034 --> 00:14:46,867
Y'all are under arrest
for violating
365
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:50,371
section 545 of
the U.S. commerce code:
366
00:14:50,465 --> 00:14:51,797
jewel smuggling.
367
00:14:51,950 --> 00:14:52,873
[whimpering]
368
00:14:53,042 --> 00:14:55,709
Y'all get in the frunk.
369
00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:56,978
[vehicle chirps]
370
00:15:01,809 --> 00:15:03,793
[all mutter indistinctly]
371
00:15:03,811 --> 00:15:07,130
[Homer]
Oh, "front trunk." Frunk.
372
00:15:07,148 --> 00:15:08,648
Now I get it.
373
00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:10,366
[laughs, then cries]
374
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:17,123
-[all groaning]
-[Lenny] Oh.
375
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,474
[Lenny]
I'm not going to jail
376
00:15:18,493 --> 00:15:19,976
'cause you two were
gem smuggling.
377
00:15:19,994 --> 00:15:21,586
It's worse than that, dummy.
378
00:15:21,813 --> 00:15:23,479
Homer and Moe weren't gonna
tell us about
379
00:15:23,498 --> 00:15:26,407
the sapphires they found
in the Larry crumbs.
380
00:15:26,501 --> 00:15:28,151
I wanted to tell you,
but Homer threatened
381
00:15:28,169 --> 00:15:29,410
to set my bar on fire.
382
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:32,263
What? You told me
to keep the gems a secret,
383
00:15:32,340 --> 00:15:35,249
and I only listened to you
because I'm highly suggestable.
384
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:37,936
-No, you're not.
-You're right, I'm not.
385
00:15:38,087 --> 00:15:40,179
Who cares? All I know is
we were the victims
386
00:15:40,331 --> 00:15:42,106
of an A-1 screw job.
387
00:15:42,258 --> 00:15:44,609
This is the worst thing
you guys have ever done.
388
00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:45,851
[Homer moans sadly]
389
00:15:45,928 --> 00:15:48,521
Oh. yeah, Carl?
Well, what about when you
390
00:15:48,673 --> 00:15:51,857
won a year's supply of
Old El Paso taco kits,
391
00:15:52,010 --> 00:15:53,676
and never invited me over?
392
00:15:53,695 --> 00:15:54,953
You won that contest?
393
00:15:55,104 --> 00:15:56,955
I wrote the taco poem.
394
00:15:57,106 --> 00:15:59,440
You must have submitted it
as yours.
395
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,684
Maybe I just got tired
of hearing your voice
396
00:16:01,703 --> 00:16:04,128
that sounds like a duck
with a sinus infection.
397
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:07,966
"The box contains seasoning
and five broken shells.
398
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:12,545
You and your family buy
everything else. Old El Paso."
399
00:16:12,697 --> 00:16:13,972
He does sound like a duck.
400
00:16:14,199 --> 00:16:15,456
Now I'll never not hear it.
401
00:16:15,550 --> 00:16:17,717
You knew broken shells
are my thing.
402
00:16:17,869 --> 00:16:20,061
[all grunting]
403
00:16:23,466 --> 00:16:26,133
Is this what we're like
when we're... sober?
404
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:28,878
We're nothing like
the Sex and the City broads.
405
00:16:28,896 --> 00:16:31,564
You take us out of that bar,
and what's holding us together?
406
00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:32,882
Nothing.
407
00:16:32,900 --> 00:16:35,309
And to think all Larry wanted
out of life
408
00:16:35,403 --> 00:16:37,978
was to be part of
this friend group.
409
00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:39,998
What a dumb dead chump.
410
00:16:40,225 --> 00:16:42,058
[sheriff]
Hey, boss, I found the idiots
411
00:16:42,151 --> 00:16:44,335
who took Larry's last haul.
412
00:16:44,487 --> 00:16:48,564
They're just a bunch of losers
that hate each other. Heh.
413
00:16:48,657 --> 00:16:50,008
It's all taken care of.
414
00:16:50,193 --> 00:16:53,344
Excellent work,
Mickey No-Loose-Ends.
415
00:16:53,496 --> 00:16:55,404
So what you want me
to do with them?
416
00:16:55,498 --> 00:16:57,073
Mm, let them go.
417
00:16:57,091 --> 00:16:58,850
They know nothing.
418
00:16:59,077 --> 00:17:01,686
Got it. No loose ends.
419
00:17:04,098 --> 00:17:06,507
Ugh, I gotta pay more attention
to the nicknames
420
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,008
when I hire these guys.
421
00:17:08,102 --> 00:17:10,770
Now, can you go pick up Connie
at the airport,
422
00:17:10,922 --> 00:17:12,179
Bruno Wife-Banger?
423
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:14,090
Hey, with pleasure.
424
00:17:14,183 --> 00:17:16,701
[whistling]
425
00:17:16,852 --> 00:17:18,352
[sheriff]
No loose ends.
426
00:17:18,446 --> 00:17:21,614
This psycho ain't a sheriff.
He's a psycho!
427
00:17:21,766 --> 00:17:23,541
Oh, and we're his loose ends.
428
00:17:23,692 --> 00:17:25,025
We're all gonna die.
429
00:17:25,194 --> 00:17:28,713
Oh, what if Lenny's right,
and we're all gonna be ghosts?
430
00:17:28,864 --> 00:17:31,215
What if Moe is right,
and it's just a void?
431
00:17:31,367 --> 00:17:33,200
Incomprehensible nothing.
432
00:17:33,294 --> 00:17:35,219
I don't think
I could handle that.
433
00:17:35,446 --> 00:17:37,947
No, no, no, Homer's heaven
makes sense to me now.
434
00:17:37,965 --> 00:17:40,449
Hey, Lord, I repent
everything I ever done.
435
00:17:40,584 --> 00:17:44,044
That he knows about.
Heh, heh, heh.
436
00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:47,231
Guys, I think Carl's
stupid energy crap is real,
437
00:17:47,458 --> 00:17:49,975
and I'm totally coming back
as one of those koalas
438
00:17:50,128 --> 00:17:52,295
with an STD.
439
00:17:52,388 --> 00:17:54,322
[grunting]
440
00:18:00,729 --> 00:18:02,805
Mm? [grunts]
441
00:18:02,824 --> 00:18:04,898
Hey, hey, look at this.
442
00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:07,251
I could blast him
when he opens the frunk.
443
00:18:07,478 --> 00:18:10,088
-[indistinct chatter]
-That flare gun.
Flare gun will save us.
444
00:18:10,239 --> 00:18:12,423
Time to get out. Whoa!
445
00:18:12,575 --> 00:18:14,500
Eat flare, jerk.
446
00:18:14,652 --> 00:18:16,344
[all crying out]
447
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:19,672
Phew.
448
00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:21,099
[car creaking]
449
00:18:21,175 --> 00:18:23,584
[all cry out]
450
00:18:23,678 --> 00:18:26,512
Nobody move. As long as
our weight is balanced,
451
00:18:26,664 --> 00:18:27,847
we're not going over.
452
00:18:27,999 --> 00:18:29,923
Although,
if one of us jumped out,
453
00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:31,183
that person would
save themselves,
454
00:18:31,336 --> 00:18:32,926
and everyone else would die.
455
00:18:32,946 --> 00:18:35,504
So any one of us
could save themselves
456
00:18:35,598 --> 00:18:36,781
and doom the rest?
457
00:18:36,932 --> 00:18:38,765
[all]
No!
458
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:41,510
[car creaking]
459
00:18:41,529 --> 00:18:44,680
Our only hope is to jump out
at the exact same time.
460
00:18:44,699 --> 00:18:45,939
Either we all survive,
461
00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:47,792
or we all find out
what the afterlife is...
462
00:18:47,943 --> 00:18:49,869
together.
463
00:18:50,021 --> 00:18:50,962
Unless it's the void,
in which case
464
00:18:51,113 --> 00:18:52,371
we won't find out nothin'.
465
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:53,873
Okay, on three.
466
00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:55,616
One, two...
467
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:57,301
[all]
Three!
468
00:18:57,953 --> 00:18:59,470
-Yay, we did it.
-Whoo!
469
00:18:59,697 --> 00:19:02,198
You don't jump on three.
You jump on "go."
470
00:19:02,216 --> 00:19:03,866
One, two, three, go.
471
00:19:03,959 --> 00:19:05,643
The three is the go.
472
00:19:05,794 --> 00:19:09,021
[shouting]
Agree to disagree...
473
00:19:10,057 --> 00:19:12,541
I probably should leave,
but I can't.
474
00:19:12,593 --> 00:19:15,378
Got to make sure there's no...
[grunts]
475
00:19:15,471 --> 00:19:17,897
...loose ends.
476
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,661
-Larry?
-It can't be.
477
00:19:23,812 --> 00:19:25,054
It's another urn.
478
00:19:25,147 --> 00:19:27,331
[crying out]
479
00:19:35,157 --> 00:19:37,416
[Homer grunts]
480
00:19:37,568 --> 00:19:38,843
[groaning]
481
00:19:38,994 --> 00:19:40,344
What happened?
482
00:19:40,496 --> 00:19:41,995
Ow. Oh...
483
00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:44,265
Larry saved your life.
484
00:19:46,669 --> 00:19:50,188
Wow, these electric cars
even explode quiet.
485
00:19:50,339 --> 00:19:53,766
And look, we're right here
at Serenity Falls.
486
00:19:53,918 --> 00:19:55,935
Larry's special place.
487
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:59,179
Wait, this don't look
the same at all.
488
00:19:59,348 --> 00:20:01,440
This whole stupid trip
where we were driven apart,
489
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:04,051
and then came back together
with a much deeper bond,
490
00:20:04,053 --> 00:20:05,703
was for nothing.
491
00:20:05,930 --> 00:20:08,431
Oh, my God, guys,
I think I know
492
00:20:08,449 --> 00:20:12,025
where Larry really wanted us
to take his death dust
493
00:20:12,078 --> 00:20:13,936
and bone chunks.
494
00:20:14,029 --> 00:20:17,940
♪ Cherish the love we have ♪
495
00:20:18,033 --> 00:20:22,720
♪ We should cherish
the life we live ♪
496
00:20:22,947 --> 00:20:24,113
♪ Oh... ♪
497
00:20:24,131 --> 00:20:25,614
Welcome home, Larry.
498
00:20:25,633 --> 00:20:27,725
Enjoy your special place.
499
00:20:27,952 --> 00:20:30,228
It's too bad
we lost those sapphires.
500
00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:32,137
I guess they fell out
of the urn.
501
00:20:32,290 --> 00:20:35,149
Yeah, it's a real mystery.
502
00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:38,644
Heh, heh, heh. Ow.
503
00:20:38,796 --> 00:20:41,297
♪ Cherish the love we have ♪
504
00:20:41,390 --> 00:20:44,575
♪ For as long as
we both shall live ♪
505
00:20:44,727 --> 00:20:45,660
♪ Ooh... ♪
506
00:20:49,490 --> 00:20:53,325
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
507
00:20:53,478 --> 00:20:56,587
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
508
00:20:56,739 --> 00:20:59,331
and TOYOTA.
509
00:20:59,484 --> 00:21:02,593
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
510
00:21:29,271 --> 00:21:31,330
Shh!
35733
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