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1
00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:17,855
- Who's that one?
- What happened?
2
00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:20,900
Nothing, just another guy who
saw flying saucers.
3
00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:28,700
MEMORIALS NO. 7
4
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:32,900
To Her Majesty the Queen Elizabeth of England,
to Nikita Krushov Prime Minister of Soviet Union,
to Lyndon Johnson President of United States,
to His Holiness Paolo VI and to all the other
chiefs of State for their information
5
00:00:33,750 --> 00:00:36,850
THE FLYING SAUCER
6
00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:39,000
and in order of appearance
7
00:00:49,750 --> 00:01:05,800
These Memorials contain a set of documents
proving irrefutably the appearing of flying
saucers in the Municipality of Carpeneto Veneto.
Moreover, here's an attached copy of a Message
I was given personally by martians for the
great chiefs of State.
The Carabinieri's Sergeant Vincenzo Berruti
8
00:01:06,155 --> 00:01:13,750
- Flying saucers on sky at Carpeneto Veneto
- A bricklayer from Carpeneto sees
a flying saucer?
9
00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:18,650
On February 1960 I, the undersigned, was
as a Carabinieri's Sergeant at the Municipality...
10
00:02:19,650 --> 00:02:24,265
...of Carpeneto Veneto, a village of
2000 citizens about, mostly
dedicated to agriculture.
11
00:02:25,730 --> 00:02:31,870
People had been talking about flying
saucers for a long time, but the only ones
who saw them were pitchmen, midwifes...
12
00:02:33,095 --> 00:02:38,300
...drunk peasants, anyway all persons
dedicated to night life, vagrancy and
begging.
13
00:02:40,030 --> 00:02:46,215
But at night of 25th February a fire
of a farm, linked to mysterious and
inexplicable events...
14
00:02:47,255 --> 00:02:51,125
...called to newspapers, radio
and even TV.
15
00:02:55,950 --> 00:03:01,655
...I got a backache, oh my God
what a backache! Oh my God
what a bellyache!
16
00:03:02,885 --> 00:03:10,485
Oh my God what a backache!
Oh my God what a bellyache!
17
00:03:15,250 --> 00:03:16,200
Fire!
18
00:03:17,700 --> 00:03:20,205
Here we come to this wonderful
area of Veneto's countryside...
19
00:03:21,105 --> 00:03:24,660
...for our TV program and after the
exceptional events occurred a night ago...
20
00:03:25,380 --> 00:03:28,971
...just to approach and hear about what
happened live from witnesses' voices...
21
00:03:29,645 --> 00:03:31,730
Here we are, let's stop for a while.
Madam?
22
00:03:32,785 --> 00:03:34,940
- Huuuuh?
- Madam, please where did martians land?
23
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,600
Everywhere, in the middle of
fields...a stink...
24
00:03:38,410 --> 00:03:43,710
A turning ball of fire, then it
became orange, then it stopped, then
it became a triangle.
25
00:03:44,455 --> 00:03:48,670
It flied above the bell tower,
they seemed flying saucers, in short
like soup plates.
26
00:03:49,550 --> 00:03:51,000
- What kind of soup?
- A soup of beans.
27
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:52,500
I want to go to Rome.
28
00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:56,935
- Tell me, did you see a flying saucer?
- A flying saucer? Yes, it landed on a lawn...
29
00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:05,180
...with no noise, it came down from
the sky onto the middle of grasslands
like the cows.
30
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,100
- And were you scared?
- No.
- Well done!
31
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:12,600
Now we're listening to the voices of this
people, some impressions, here's a lady
who is stopping probably for shopping...
32
00:04:13,325 --> 00:04:18,645
- Madam, what did you see?
- I never hurted anyone, I'm not afraid,
so anyone who has a clear conscience
is never afraid of anything.
33
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:27,800
- They come from billions kilometres
far away, but, excuse me, by which fuel?
- Indeed! By which fuel?
34
00:04:28,700 --> 00:04:30,640
Let's hear a voice of a writer,
an intellectual, a poet of this village.
35
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,000
- I beg you pardon?
- Speak.
36
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:37,975
My name is Dario Marsicano, I'm
a telegraph operator, I wrote 11
comedies not yet played and...
37
00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:41,935
-...3 inedited novels...
- Well done.
-...in province there're writers of great value...
38
00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:47,275
-...who are boycotted by the usual
Moravia and Pasolini at Rome.
- That's right.
39
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,900
- Do I have to repeat?
- No, thanks, it's enough.
- Thank you.
40
00:04:50,500 --> 00:04:51,900
Let's listen to the mayor
of the village now.
41
00:04:53,666 --> 00:04:57,885
Roads, bridges, coaches, hotels
to give rise to tourism...
42
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:04,065
...to make money move all around,
because if money circulates for the rich man,
it can circulate for the poor man as well...
43
00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:09,800
...and stop these chit-chats harming tourism.
- Absolutely. Thank you, sir mayor.
- You're welcome.
44
00:05:10,550 --> 00:05:12,740
- Here's the mayor's wife.
- Ehm...well...
- Chin up, speak...
45
00:05:14,650 --> 00:05:20,845
- Well...
- Go ahead.
- Well...if someone has a deep religious
feeling and a frank attachment to family...
46
00:05:22,630 --> 00:05:26,470
...such things cannot be seen and
even be conceived, true?
47
00:05:27,340 --> 00:05:32,250
Amongst our several interviews, the one
with the priest couldn't be missed, the
clergyman of this village...
48
00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:36,740
...a poor and simple priest, don Giuseppe,
a clergyman so loved by his parishioners...
49
00:05:37,870 --> 00:05:42,700
...that's him, Don Giuseppe. Tell me,
what do you think of these appearings
which, as you can see, upset the weather...
50
00:05:43,225 --> 00:05:45,065
- It's raining.
-...and perhaps your parishioners'
consciences too.
51
00:05:46,065 --> 00:05:51,015
Also His Eminence the Bishop uses to
say to me every time: "Don't believe that,
don Giuseppe, since martians don't exist,...
52
00:05:52,015 --> 00:05:57,705
...don't be afraid, the devil disguises
himself into many forms, as a woman,
as a rabbit". Let's be sociable and...
53
00:05:58,355 --> 00:06:01,095
-...have a glass of wine.
- So do you like wine, don't you?
- I cannot deny it.
54
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:05,130
- But I was told you use to
hang out in the inn very often.
- Our Lord Jesus Christ used to say every time:
55
00:06:06,375 --> 00:06:10,150
- "Let's keep in touch with people" and
where do people use to go here? To inn.
56
00:06:11,127 --> 00:06:15,650
- See you, now I go and see my parishioners.
- Are you going to manse?
- No, no, to inn. Jesus Christ be praised.
57
00:06:17,415 --> 00:06:27,945
As a country doctor, I'd say these are
oneiric fantasies, daydreams, created by
subconscious and exploding into...
58
00:06:29,525 --> 00:06:32,660
...collective psychosis, let's admit the truth,
people use to drink too much:
grappa, wine, all the stuff in short.
59
00:06:33,660 --> 00:06:37,500
Now it's enough, I don't speak anymore,
I don't speak anymore, what the hell!
60
00:06:38,100 --> 00:06:40,270
- What did you see?
- I don't know anything.
- Really nothing?
61
00:06:41,045 --> 00:06:43,110
I don't care. Absolute madness.
62
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:48,000
- How do you figure them?
- There's a lot of vulgarity and
violence in this world...
63
00:06:49,570 --> 00:06:52,400
...and instead they are so kind.
64
00:06:53,100 --> 00:06:59,045
- Here's the countess Crosara.
- Peasants have a lot of claims,
they want to eat meat every week and...
65
00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:03,000
...they no longer respect the owners
and they use to steal everything...
66
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:07,400
-...so you can imagine who they blame,
the martians.
- It's an opinion.
67
00:07:08,125 --> 00:07:11,300
Mom, please let me speak in front of TV
too. Do you allow it, Mazzarella?
68
00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:23,100
Well, I suppose these weird and odd beings
are sexless and they are trying to get in touch
with us by their little antennas...
69
00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:27,800
-...but they are hindered...
- Mazzarella, Mazzarella, don't pay
attention to my son, he's half a moron.
70
00:07:33,885 --> 00:07:39,200
Our province is nice and full
of oxygen and stop with these
ugly things coming from Rome.
71
00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:44,300
- Let's go on with our investigation
in a poorer area, here's an isolated farmhouse,...
- Mom, mom...
72
00:07:45,100 --> 00:07:50,075
...a woman running off with her children...
madam, why are you running off, madam,
don't be afraid of our microphone, come here...
73
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:56,600
...make some statements, come on, madam,
tell us about these mysterious appearings...
74
00:07:57,200 --> 00:08:00,300
- I'm just a widow with 7 sons and a pig!
- But did you ever see the martians?
75
00:08:01,145 --> 00:08:03,270
- And how much do you pay for this interview?
- Nothing, come on...
76
00:08:04,300 --> 00:08:06,600
- Aah, my guess was right.
- Well, stop it now.
77
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:09,090
- Excuse me, please where are the
Carabinieri's headquarters?
- But I didn't commit anything.
78
00:08:10,150 --> 00:08:12,210
- Yeah, I know that, but the
Carabinieri?
- Carabinieri are on this way.
79
00:08:13,210 --> 00:08:14,050
Ah, thank you, let's go.
80
00:08:15,050 --> 00:08:16,050
- Are you the sergeant?
- May I speak?
81
00:08:17,050 --> 00:08:22,210
I don't consider appropriate to
investigate since we didn't receive
any report from private citizens...
82
00:08:23,210 --> 00:08:29,200
...and from public authorities, anyway,
as I repeat, I don't speak out because
this thing isn't of my responsibility.
83
00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:36,800
And it isn't of my responsibility
because neither martians neither
flying saucers are of our responsibility.
84
00:08:37,900 --> 00:08:39,875
Good, well said, good, Sergeant, very
free and easy...
85
00:08:41,465 --> 00:08:45,000
It's not a matter of being free and easy,
it's enough to have clear ideas and some
very accurate things to tell...
86
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,800
- Sergeant, there's a call for you.
- Ok.
- You need to be free and easy.
87
00:08:53,420 --> 00:08:57,810
- Hello, I'm the sergeant Berruti.
- Listen, sergeant, what are you telling
on TV?
88
00:08:58,715 --> 00:09:00,150
- That the thing isn't of our
responsibility, commander.
- But how could it be otherwise?
89
00:09:01,570 --> 00:09:04,800
Anything that happens inside your area is
of your responsibility. This is an
embarassing thing for me on TV!
90
00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:09,015
- Start to investigate immediately.
- All right, commander, if you order me that,
I'm investigating immediately.
91
00:09:10,870 --> 00:09:15,640
That's right, start immediately an enquiry,
investigate, keep track of events and send me
a report on the situation every day.
92
00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:17,300
Sure, I agree, commander.
93
00:09:20,900 --> 00:09:21,950
Goodbye to everybody.
94
00:09:28,900 --> 00:09:33,910
- I was feeding a calf by candle-light...
-...by candle-light...
95
00:09:34,425 --> 00:09:40,700
...at a certain point I heard
something like a sound of an organ,
I went out here and I saw a flying saucer there...
96
00:09:41,660 --> 00:09:43,900
Where exactly?
97
00:09:47,250 --> 00:09:49,000
- Where?
- There.
98
00:09:50,380 --> 00:09:54,380
- How big it was?
- 12 meters x 6, a totally silver one.
99
00:09:55,950 --> 00:10:00,365
- 12 meters x 6, a totally silver one.
Go ahead, child.
- Then a flying saucer's door was opened...
100
00:10:01,225 --> 00:10:03,315
-...and a Chinese guy came down.
- How did that Chinese guy dress?
101
00:10:04,785 --> 00:10:13,300
Nylon bootlegs till this point,
a close-fitting totally leather girdle,
a helmet on head and red tango boots.
102
00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:17,365
A helmet on head and red tango boots.
103
00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:21,555
- Were you afraid?
- Not at all, or better, I liked him.
104
00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:27,700
- And what did that Chinese guy do to you?
- He held me and said to me: "Don't love
your father and your mother".
105
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:34,200
So there. The child, asked a question,
replies: "He held me and said to me: "Don't love
your father and your mother". Go ahead.
106
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:39,050
Then he went down that way through the
grassland, do you see there are still some
marks?
107
00:10:40,300 --> 00:10:43,960
- Did you ever have other apparitions?
- Yes, I saw Holy Mary a year ago.
108
00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:46,480
Yeah, Fantuzzi, let's go!
109
00:10:53,700 --> 00:11:04,380
5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 and 12...
Sergeant, here's where the flying saucer landed.
110
00:11:05,380 --> 00:11:11,645
- 1, 2 and 3, triangle-shaped.
- And the martian?
- The martian came down here and he went that way.
111
00:11:13,375 --> 00:11:15,500
So we have only to follow
the track. Fantuzzi, let's go.
112
00:11:20,235 --> 00:11:21,350
Here's me coming to find you out.
113
00:11:25,050 --> 00:11:27,200
This is the track the child talked about,
come on, follow me.
114
00:11:48,030 --> 00:11:57,000
Mah, what should I say to you, mom?
I have no longer been standing that sergeant
since he grew such a big moustache.
115
00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,200
What is that sergeant doing inside
our own property?
116
00:12:01,630 --> 00:12:03,555
Come on, mom, why such a question?
You know perfectly the reason.
117
00:12:04,830 --> 00:12:06,500
They are looking for the martians, no?
118
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:13,500
And these ones?! Look how nice are these new
carabinieri who have been sent here recently,
how young!
119
00:12:15,350 --> 00:12:19,695
Momi, stop it, give up looking at the
carabinieri, and get ready because your
girlfriend is coming.
120
00:12:20,590 --> 00:12:23,775
Hum! What's that girlfriend
of mine coming here for? I hate her.
121
00:12:37,700 --> 00:12:41,535
Here we are on a fork, the track
is forking. The first one went this way,
the second one that way.
122
00:12:42,270 --> 00:12:44,230
- The child told us there was only a martian.
- Maybe he splitted in two.
123
00:12:45,230 --> 00:12:49,685
Come on, stop these useless comments. Four of you,
follow this track, me and Fantuzzi the other one,
we're meeting at headquarters at high noon.
124
00:12:50,405 --> 00:12:52,890
- See you later, sergeant.
- Let's go, Fantuzzi.
- Walk on in a single file.
125
00:12:53,890 --> 00:12:54,890
Be careful with that cow.
126
00:13:02,290 --> 00:13:05,930
- And they separated another time at this point.
- So, we ought to separate too.
127
00:13:06,930 --> 00:13:11,165
- Two this way and two that way.
- But how many are they?
- I don't know, it's hard to understand now.
128
00:13:23,965 --> 00:13:27,685
- Fantuzzi, what happened?
- Nothing, don Giuseppe has fallen down his moped.
129
00:13:28,990 --> 00:13:30,150
One day I'll shove him in prison.
130
00:13:33,215 --> 00:13:34,215
Here I am, what a smack.
131
00:13:37,777 --> 00:13:40,470
The loaf, here's it.
132
00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:08,400
- Oh my God, what a bad beast,
a torment of my life!
- Mom, the Carabinieri!
133
00:14:12,540 --> 00:14:19,320
- Excuse us, mrs Vittoria, where have you been
this night at a quarter past 22?
- I were at Montecarlo's casino to gamble...
134
00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:22,390
-...away my millions lire left.
- Have you been paid a visit by somebody?
135
00:14:22,590 --> 00:14:28,300
- A visit?
- A guy with red boots and a
helmet on head.
136
00:14:29,485 --> 00:14:34,735
- But are you looking for martians at my home?
- Anyway, if you sight a suspicious guy, come
and inform us at our headquarters.
137
00:14:36,020 --> 00:14:42,560
Yes, yes, ok, come on, if I find out a
martian, I'll hand over him just to you,
holy cow, there's even the story of a martian now!
138
00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:20,640
...despite everything we need a meaning for
our life and now I know we've to hoist
the sails and to catch the destiny's...
139
00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:32,005
...winds, to give life a meaning can lead you
to madness but a meaningless life is a
torment of an endless unease and of a vain...
140
00:15:32,205 --> 00:15:41,670
-...desire, it's a ship longing for sea and yet...
- Now stop with these things, call me
sleazy and filthy...
141
00:15:41,870 --> 00:15:43,000
Sleazy and filthy.
142
00:15:45,275 --> 00:15:48,830
- I'm so sorry...
- Did you recognize me?
- Huh no, mr accountant...
143
00:15:50,780 --> 00:15:54,272
- And the lady?
- Maybe, but I haven't been looking at her enough.
144
00:15:59,315 --> 00:16:05,500
- He's the accountant working on telegraph,
but who is she?
- Maybe I may be wrong, but she's the major's...
145
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:06,330
...wife, according to what I saw.
146
00:16:20,750 --> 00:16:23,010
- Good morning, madam.
- Good morning, sergeant, I was waiting for you.
147
00:16:24,820 --> 00:16:25,660
Please, come in.
148
00:16:31,095 --> 00:16:33,590
- Please, take a seat.
- Thank you, mrs Meneghello.
149
00:16:37,155 --> 00:16:43,420
Excuse me for the question, mrs Meneghello,
it's a mere formality, have you been at home yesterday
evening since half past 21 to 22 o'clock?
150
00:16:44,380 --> 00:16:47,165
- Yes, I was at home...
- Alone?
- Alone.
151
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:51,715
Mrs Meneghello...since half past 21
to 22 o'clock...go ahead...
152
00:16:53,230 --> 00:16:58,755
I repeat, it was half past 21, I was
sitting down here and I was
listening to "Stellina"...
153
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:05,575
- Do you know "Stellina"?
- Who is "Stellina"?
- A song, may I start the record?
154
00:17:10,225 --> 00:17:11,865
I've been listening to it for
20 times today probably.
155
00:17:40,365 --> 00:17:43,330
- What's up?
- Do not disturb me, don't you see
I'm talking?
156
00:17:45,670 --> 00:17:48,385
- Where can I resume my talk?
- You were listening to "Stellina", go ahead.
157
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:57,040
- I came closer to a window...
- And what did you see?
- There was a martian, completely naked...
158
00:17:57,340 --> 00:18:05,320
...and he walked slowly through the orchard.
- Mrs Meneghello, since this being,
not yet well identified, came here naked...
159
00:18:05,620 --> 00:18:13,840
-...could you tell me which was his sex?
- Male, he was a male.
- Are you sure he was a man?
160
00:18:20,340 --> 00:18:24,190
- Certaaaainly he was a man!
- Maria, shame on you!
161
00:18:24,790 --> 00:18:25,560
What are you doing? Have you smarted
my hand?
162
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:31,735
- That's enough, mrs Meneghello, many
thanks and goodbye.
- Sergeant, the timber yard is mine...
163
00:18:31,935 --> 00:18:38,845
...my father was the owner, they
want me to be taken for a fool, yes,
he agreed, all the heads of the village agreed...
164
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,365
-...to keep such a thing hidden...
- Yes, where's the way out from here?
165
00:18:41,665 --> 00:18:43,495
- Come here, be quiet.
- Be careful, sergeant!
166
00:18:44,415 --> 00:18:47,430
- What kind of disease is?
- Help, help...
- It's a classic neurosis by transference...
167
00:18:47,730 --> 00:18:55,300
- Mmm, by a transfer, you said?
- Since she was a child, she felt in love
with her father, then she married a coarse man...
168
00:18:55,600 --> 00:19:02,420
...in which she didn't find her father, so during
those crises, which Freud defines as daydreams,...
169
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:09,640
...she sees the naked martian as an ideal
man, a father and a lover at the same time.
170
00:19:11,540 --> 00:19:19,610
And he becomes a demigod by transference,
infact he comes down from the sky to love
and protect her.
171
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:25,680
- And why did she speak at TV?
- Tell me who wouldn't like to speak at TV, me too!
- I spoke at TV too!
172
00:19:26,660 --> 00:19:28,850
- Thank you, doctor, and goodbye.
- People use to drink too much, that's the truth.
- Let's go, Fantuzzi.
173
00:19:29,950 --> 00:19:32,930
- Did something serious happen, sergeant?
- Yes, my hand was smarted.
174
00:19:34,070 --> 00:19:39,470
When asked, he replies: "She sees the
martian as a lover and a husband who
came to protect her and she wants to...
175
00:19:39,770 --> 00:19:46,310
...speak at TV as well as all the people
in province, therefore we've to suppose that
the barn was burnst off by a fall of a candle...
176
00:19:46,610 --> 00:19:56,710
...and that the child invented a
flying saucer in order to escape from a
punishment by her parents, well known as...
177
00:19:57,010 --> 00:20:08,058
...rough and violent persons. The above
mentioned mrs Meneghello, moreover, asserts
that the flying saucer with the martian is...
178
00:20:08,358 --> 00:20:14,365
...coming back again this night.
- Is it coming back again?
- Signed Sergeant Vincenzo Berruti.
179
00:20:50,815 --> 00:20:52,525
Good evening to everybody, Jesus
Christ be praised.
180
00:20:53,550 --> 00:21:02,140
Hey, do you want to hear the last
news? They wrote a letter, a letter
to His Eminence the Bishop...
181
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:06,835
...an anonymous letter...
182
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:16,300
-...because I use to go to inns every evening...
- Chin up, don Giuseppe.
- Thank you, just to appreciate.
183
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,460
- To everybody's health, just to appreciate,
no bad blood.
- Cheers.
184
00:21:19,660 --> 00:21:21,750
- To everybody's health!
- Cheers.
185
00:21:21,950 --> 00:21:29,130
But if you don't come and pay me a
visit to the parish church, how can
I tell you a soothing word?
186
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:31,980
- To your health!
- Cheers.
- To everybody's health...
187
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:33,110
...and let's care for each other...
188
00:21:38,070 --> 00:21:47,500
Also in America people use to drink
a lot, the Russian man uses to drink too,
the rich man drinks whiskey, the poor man...
189
00:21:47,700 --> 00:21:54,330
...drinks a glass of wine, it's healthy,
and don't criticize a lot...
190
00:21:56,300 --> 00:22:00,840
- Ace, horse and king: it's all ours.
- Sir major?
- Tell me, mr accountant.
191
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,800
- Would you like to replace me?
- With pleasure.
- Just for half a hour about.
192
00:22:03,999 --> 00:22:04,900
Have a good game.
193
00:22:06,735 --> 00:22:08,740
- Sir major, I'm leaving but I'm coming
back soon.
- You can leave untroubledly.
194
00:22:08,940 --> 00:22:09,990
Thank you.
195
00:22:12,175 --> 00:22:14,675
- Hem, sir major, don't let me lose.
- I'll do my best.
196
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:21,650
I'm leaving, I'm going away, I go and pay
a dead man a visit, good night sir major,
good night sergeant, good night everybody.
197
00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:26,713
Jesus Christ be praised, good night.
It's raining.
198
00:22:29,300 --> 00:22:29,775
Good thing that he left.
199
00:22:33,215 --> 00:22:33,615
Here's an ace of diamonds.
200
00:22:35,950 --> 00:22:39,960
The light has turned off.
A match, please.
201
00:22:43,950 --> 00:22:45,950
It's nine thirty three.
Here we are one more time.
202
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:55,440
Only when your husband replaces me
on playing cards, you're here together
with me, but one day I'll escape with you...
203
00:22:55,640 --> 00:23:01,999
-...I'll take you to Paris, Montmartre,
Le Pigalle, Chevalier...
-...and a large soft bed...
- Yes.
204
00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:06,940
- And I will have a lot of plumes...
- Yes.
- And the carpets on the floor...
- Yes.
205
00:23:08,990 --> 00:23:13,580
I'm fed up with meeting you along the
walls, behind the hedges and into a ditch.
206
00:23:19,250 --> 00:23:22,275
- What to do? Do we stop here?
- No, come on, people use to pass
through here.
207
00:23:23,730 --> 00:23:24,300
Let's go further.
208
00:23:29,140 --> 00:23:29,740
What a life.
209
00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:47,630
- Well, why did you stop?
- Me? It stopped by itself.
- Mmmmm, what a dodger!
210
00:23:47,830 --> 00:23:51,460
- You're so cunning, cunning, cunning!
- I swear, Dolores, it stopped by itself.
211
00:23:51,660 --> 00:23:57,560
- Do you want us to do it here,
right now?
- Be quiet and still, first I'm going to tell you...
212
00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:03,530
...that poem you enjoy...and now I know we've
to hoist the sails and to catch the destiny's winds...
213
00:24:03,730 --> 00:24:14,780
...to give life a meaning can lead you
to madness but a meaningless life is a
torment of an endless unease and of a vain...
214
00:24:14,980 --> 00:24:22,140
-...desire, it's a ship longing for sea, yet...
- Call me sleazy and filthy because I
like it more.
215
00:24:22,340 --> 00:24:26,040
- Sleazy and filthy, sleazy and filthy...
- Call me again this way, call me again
this way!
216
00:24:28,115 --> 00:24:29,450
What a gorgeus sexy leg!
217
00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:48,900
Holy cow, what a bad weather.
218
00:25:08,550 --> 00:25:09,550
That's right.
219
00:25:14,220 --> 00:25:15,430
It stopped by itself.
220
00:25:21,140 --> 00:25:22,140
That's right.
221
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:24,930
The electric part is no longer working.
222
00:25:25,900 --> 00:25:26,620
It never happened.
223
00:25:30,290 --> 00:25:31,000
Hey, who is calling me?
224
00:25:38,890 --> 00:25:39,430
Tell me!
225
00:26:04,830 --> 00:26:06,230
Here they are coming.
226
00:26:18,050 --> 00:26:21,550
Our Father who art in Heaven,
Hollowed be thy name...
227
00:28:48,990 --> 00:28:49,990
Holy mackerel.
228
00:29:21,700 --> 00:29:22,700
Holy mackerel.
229
00:29:34,500 --> 00:29:36,400
Come on, move, do something you
too, come on.
230
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:47,010
- Hurry up, my husband will be already at home.
- There's a stable over there, wait for
me here.
231
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:51,750
- Oh my God, I lost the bra.
- I've it into my pocket.
232
00:29:57,380 --> 00:30:02,800
If there's a peasant, he can give
us a push. Is there anybody?
233
00:30:10,700 --> 00:30:12,040
I need help.
234
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:17,520
Peasants!
235
00:30:50,900 --> 00:30:52,600
Who, what is it?
236
00:31:16,900 --> 00:31:19,400
Here's it, here's the flying saucer.
237
00:31:20,940 --> 00:31:22,160
I can see it, it's warm, it's warm...
238
00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:42,840
Amazing...
239
00:31:47,450 --> 00:31:48,250
How nice!
240
00:32:25,140 --> 00:32:26,200
No, no...be quiet...
241
00:32:44,900 --> 00:32:46,180
My umbrella, pardon.
242
00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:50,860
What's up?
243
00:32:51,930 --> 00:32:57,620
- The flying saucer...
- Let's go away, come on...
- The flyiiinng saaauceeer...
244
00:32:59,650 --> 00:33:00,530
Can you hear it, can you hear it?
245
00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:07,790
There's the flying saucer...
246
00:33:15,350 --> 00:33:15,850
Shut up!
247
00:33:42,500 --> 00:33:48,820
Who are you? Are you martians? Or do you
come from other planets far away billions,
billions and billions kilometres?
248
00:33:49,350 --> 00:33:54,940
- Take a pity on me, I'm a mother,
I've got a child 6 years old...
- Shut up, don't interrupt...
249
00:33:56,260 --> 00:34:01,950
I know you're superior beings, did
you come down from the sky to help
or to punish us?
250
00:34:02,150 --> 00:34:07,660
- Don't punish me, I've been a victim of senses.
- Shut up! Why should they care of your senses?
251
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:16,370
- So, speak only you who always know everything.
- Can you hear me? There's a lot of injustice
in this world, agriculture is in a crisis everywhere...
252
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:25,917
...black peoples are getting into a tizzy,
women are restless and are claiming their
rights, there's a lot of injustice in the art too...
253
00:34:27,150 --> 00:34:34,960
...I wrote 13 social comedies and they've
been always refused by envy, if you want I've
a list of bad guys you have to punish...
254
00:34:35,980 --> 00:34:43,340
...it's me who had this great
honour, you came down from the sky and
chose me to bring a message to human kind...
255
00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:46,600
-...I'm telling you humbly I'm worthy of that...
-...forgive me, forgive me...I'll be more
spiritual, I've been a victim of senses...
256
00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:56,770
Oh my God, they're communicating...
Morse code, yeah, I'm a telegraph operator,
I understand your signals, please go ahead...
257
00:34:57,000 --> 00:35:02,900
- What are they saying? Tell me, tell me...
- Yes, a dash, a dot, a dot, a dash...
- Shut up, don't interrupt, they're communicating,
a dash, a dot...
258
00:35:10,685 --> 00:35:12,700
Come! Come back tomorrow!
259
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:20,500
Mom, mom, mom, mom! The pig! Mom,
mom, the pig, the pig! There's a
thief, mom, mom, the pig! - The pig!?
260
00:36:23,500 --> 00:36:29,780
Holy mackerel! What a torment with this pig!
I've to decide to make him sleep together
with us, otherwise I'll get mad...
261
00:36:32,260 --> 00:36:32,860
Where's my jacket?
262
00:36:33,860 --> 00:36:37,510
Holy mackerel! If only we could have
a man, even a moron, but a man!
263
00:36:37,910 --> 00:36:41,820
To protect us from thieves, holy mackerel!
It's always the same story!
264
00:36:47,770 --> 00:36:49,770
How many anxieties, how many pains
to live 4 days long like a beast!
265
00:37:03,500 --> 00:37:04,200
Such ugly scoundrels!
266
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:16,640
Hey, are you there?
267
00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:30,050
How bastard they are to attack a
lonely and even helpless woman!
268
00:37:31,240 --> 00:37:31,840
Who's there?
269
00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:56,840
Take this!
270
00:38:05,163 --> 00:38:06,780
Damn! This is a martian.
271
00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:12,680
How tall!
272
00:38:23,980 --> 00:38:25,100
Damn! How heavy!
273
00:38:28,890 --> 00:38:30,600
- That's the Boogeyman!
- I caught a martian.
274
00:38:43,700 --> 00:38:45,835
- Here I am. Now he's safe.
- Did you kill him?
275
00:38:46,135 --> 00:38:49,590
No, I just hit his head by a shovel.
How oddly this martian smells.
276
00:38:53,590 --> 00:38:57,060
Everybody sit down around here, just
listen carefully to what your mother
is telling you.
277
00:38:59,100 --> 00:39:02,680
People all over the world are talking
about martians, everybody is looking for them,
but nodoby saw them...
278
00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:08,830
-...only your mother could catch and
keep safe one martian, ok?
- And what to do now that he has been kept safe?
279
00:39:10,500 --> 00:39:18,000
- What to do with the martian? Well, if they
want him, they'll give us millions of millions
of millions, so we'll get a house,...
280
00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:23,740
-...dresses, shoes, food and all the things
we need, did you understand? Huh?
- Why don't we take him to Carabinieri?
281
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:26,950
Because government requisitions and doesn't pay.
282
00:39:27,150 --> 00:39:28,710
Or if it pays, it uses to be late to do it.
283
00:39:29,500 --> 00:39:32,665
Nobody must know that there's a treasure
inside that room, understood, huh?
284
00:39:34,475 --> 00:39:41,260
That's right and now answer to my questions:
if someone asks you if there's a martian
in your home, what do you reply?
285
00:39:42,030 --> 00:39:47,740
If they put you in jail with a
bread-and-water diet, if they torture...
286
00:39:47,940 --> 00:39:50,200
...your flesh by red-hot irons,
what do you reply?
287
00:39:57,100 --> 00:40:05,345
- Mom, it's the priest.
- Holy cow. Stay here and don't
open that door because, if he comes round,...
288
00:40:05,645 --> 00:40:09,155
...he fulminates all of us, understood?
That's right! Holy cow, we wouldn't need
the priest too!
289
00:40:11,441 --> 00:40:15,701
- Vittoria, Vittoria?
- Who's there?
- It's me, don Giuseppe.
290
00:40:18,150 --> 00:40:21,214
- This evening I'm not going to
open my door to anybody.
- Here're some shoes I've found for you.
291
00:40:21,614 --> 00:40:26,694
- But who is the owner?
- A dead man.
- Ah, I hope they may fit.
292
00:40:26,894 --> 00:40:27,354
Try on them.
293
00:40:28,884 --> 00:40:31,940
- They'll keep you warm.
- Ah, you've been bringing bigger
and bigger shoes to me recently.
294
00:40:32,240 --> 00:40:36,440
- Put a piece of cardboard inside them.
- But how are you this evening? You're
totally distraught.
295
00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:43,990
- I've got a temperature and rheumatic
pains and I had even some bad visions.
- It might be some glasses of wine in addition.
296
00:40:44,740 --> 00:40:48,470
- It never happened to me so far
but I've been afraid this evening.
- That's right, have a restful sleep...
297
00:40:48,670 --> 00:40:52,540
-...and tomorrow morning you're feeling better.
- The children?
- Mom, he has woken up!
298
00:40:52,740 --> 00:40:55,865
- Who did wake up?
- No, nothing, nobody, go to bed, don
Giuseppe, it's better.
299
00:40:56,105 --> 00:41:00,140
- Who is he?
- You'd better to go to bed, good
night. - Thank you, goodbye and good night.
300
00:41:00,340 --> 00:41:04,470
- Ah, thank you.
- You're welcome, you're welcome.
- Hey, don Giuseppe, if I become...
301
00:41:04,670 --> 00:41:09,000
-...a millionaire tomorrow, I won't need
shoes from you anymore.
- I wish, Vittoria, I'll be pleased with you...
302
00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:10,800
...becoming a millionaire.
- Good night and thank you once again.
- Give a kiss to your children.
303
00:41:11,100 --> 00:41:17,730
Poor Vittoria, she has lost her head
too this evening, poor woman...
304
00:41:22,500 --> 00:41:23,100
No, it's not for me.
305
00:41:24,270 --> 00:41:25,900
My poor mom used to say...
306
00:41:41,700 --> 00:41:42,900
Here's him, I've seen him...
307
00:41:48,125 --> 00:41:55,825
The martian eats and drinks together
with the children, I must refer that
to the Bishop, I've to go immediately...
308
00:41:56,825 --> 00:41:59,155
...the martian...I've to hear the
Bishop's words about that...
309
00:42:14,985 --> 00:42:18,385
- Have you heard what Verona team did?
- No, what they did?
- They lost the match 2-0 at home.
310
00:42:36,635 --> 00:42:42,535
- While you were away, we've won 2 games
and drawn another one.
- Fine. - It's your turn.
311
00:42:42,935 --> 00:42:43,700
It's your turn, sergeant.
312
00:42:47,350 --> 00:42:54,800
- I'm feeling bad...I'm feeling bad!
- Let's help him to breathe, come on,
mr accountant, let's untie his necktie...
313
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:57,900
- Mr accountant, what's up with you?
- I saw it!
- What did you see?
314
00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:01,300
- Come on, mr accountant, come on.
- I touched it by my own hands.
- Let's take him outside.
315
00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:03,950
- It was warm!
- What was warm?
- Be quiet, mr accountant.
316
00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:07,720
- The flying saucer!
- Hold him tight.
- Where did you see it?
317
00:43:09,720 --> 00:43:15,400
- Close to a grassland, near the Storta
bridge...I saw it, they're going to land...
- Be careful with his head, be quick, come on...
318
00:43:16,980 --> 00:43:21,560
- The martians! I want to go to Rome!
- So you'll compromise your future...
- They told me that...
319
00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:25,549
- Hello, Fantuzzi, the accountant has
got mad, come here immediately.
-...I've got an important message...
320
00:43:26,249 --> 00:43:29,779
-...I've a witness...
- Who's that witness?
- It's Dolores. - My wife?
321
00:43:31,119 --> 00:43:33,715
- Yeah, your nice lady was together with me.
- How ugly filthy woman!
322
00:43:35,415 --> 00:43:38,445
- The car, the car!
- Dolores, my love, my great and
immense love!
323
00:43:38,745 --> 00:43:41,385
- Let's go to hospital...hurry up
otherwise he'll get totally mad...to hospital!
- Dolores, I was forced...
324
00:43:56,245 --> 00:44:00,705
- You're hurting me...
- No, I don't want to hurt you.
- Yes, you're hurting me.
325
00:44:04,055 --> 00:44:06,705
- Dolores...
- There isn't Dolores.
-...take me away from here.
326
00:44:08,005 --> 00:44:12,145
- And the flying saucer?
- I saw it by my own eyes!
- Tell that you didn't see it!
327
00:44:12,345 --> 00:44:16,645
- Yeeah, I saw it!
- So, tell me, how was that flying saucer?
- Large, a silver one, full-hot!
328
00:44:16,845 --> 00:44:20,725
- Give him some bromide.
- You're a fanatic!
- Tell that you didn't see it,...
329
00:44:20,925 --> 00:44:25,355
-...tell that you didn't see it, you
didn't see it, you didn't see it!
- And now let's get down to an electro-shock!
330
00:44:25,555 --> 00:44:29,775
- You didn't see it!
- Why do you want to convince me?
I did see it!
331
00:44:29,975 --> 00:44:33,815
- You didn't see it!
- Yeah, I did see it!
- Persuade yourself that you didn't see it!
332
00:44:34,415 --> 00:44:38,075
- There was my lover too!
- You don't have a lover.
- Tell that you love your wife...
333
00:44:38,275 --> 00:44:42,922
-...you don't have a lover, understood?
- I do have a lover, a beautiful one, I like
and I desire her, it's you who doesn't have...
334
00:44:43,122 --> 00:44:46,500
-...a lover because you're ugly!
- Power on!
- And now tell me how the flying saucer was.
335
00:44:46,700 --> 00:44:52,840
- No, no, you didn't see it...
- You didn't see it, you didn't see it,
you didn't see it, persuade yourself you didn't see it...
336
00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:58,320
- You don't have a lover, tell that you
love your wife...
- You love your wife! You love your wife!
337
00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:04,020
- You don't have a lover, persuade yourself!
- You're a fanatic, you've to forget!
- Be quiet! - Forget everything!
338
00:45:32,540 --> 00:45:34,580
- Sergeant, take a look there.
- What is there to look at?
339
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:41,580
- Prints of a flying saucer.
- Fantuzzi, speak when you're sure.
340
00:45:43,980 --> 00:45:55,190
- 1,2,3...1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12.
- Well, 12, so it's always the same one,
just like the other times.
341
00:45:55,390 --> 00:46:00,940
- Yes. If it happens to be under my rifle-range,
on that occasion I'll shot it by my carbine.
- Very well, Fantuzzi, do you shoot the martians?
342
00:46:01,740 --> 00:46:02,670
Let's go and see if other signs are over there.
343
00:46:06,870 --> 00:46:13,660
- Sergeant, little black balls have
been spreaded all over here.
- Where? These are olives made by a sheep!
344
00:46:29,260 --> 00:46:35,210
- There's another thing here I cannot understand.
- Let me take a look.
- This is a bra.
345
00:46:37,010 --> 00:46:40,010
- If there were martian women, huh?
- What's up? Are you playing the fool?
Come on, let's go.
346
00:46:43,925 --> 00:46:44,825
Please, sergeant, come in.
347
00:46:51,665 --> 00:46:53,535
- Good morning, madam.
- Good morning.
- Good morning, sergeant.
348
00:46:54,955 --> 00:46:59,860
- Can I help you?
- A mere formality, but pay attention
and weight up well your answers.
349
00:47:01,430 --> 00:47:06,170
- Where have you been yesterday evening
since half past 21 to 22 o'clock?
- My mother replies in my stead.
350
00:47:07,600 --> 00:47:12,420
- My daughter was at home, I'm quite
surprised at you asking such questions.
- You, be a bit quiet.
351
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:17,520
- This under-garment, is it yours?
- My mother replies in my stead.
352
00:47:18,310 --> 00:47:24,050
- My daughter doesn't need such supports,
thank goodness, understood?
- May I talk with your daughter in private?
353
00:47:25,730 --> 00:47:26,660
That's right.
354
00:47:35,680 --> 00:47:41,530
- Yesterday evening you were in the
accountant's car, don Giuseppe,
the priest, saw you. - I deny it.
355
00:47:41,730 --> 00:47:47,320
- And he heard even what you told
each other...
- What did we tell?
356
00:47:50,510 --> 00:47:52,850
- I cannot repeat those words...
- Please speak...
357
00:47:54,990 --> 00:47:58,710
- The accountant recited some poems
and you said...
- What did I say?
358
00:47:59,670 --> 00:48:01,270
"Call me sleazy and filthy because I
like it".
359
00:48:10,170 --> 00:48:13,800
Your lover has been taken to mental hospital,
he will no longer go out if you don't affirm
you saw the flying saucer together with him.
360
00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:17,200
I'm a normal woman and I didn't see anything.
361
00:48:19,170 --> 00:48:31,540
And moreover I'm fed up with these dreaming men,
I want a normal man, a man who doesn't
speak much and who makes the things, just like you...
362
00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:43,985
That's enough. I'd better go away.
363
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:33,930
- Hey, where are you going?
- I've to talk with mrs countess,
it's an urgent thing.
364
00:49:36,130 --> 00:49:37,630
Clean your shoes before coming in.
365
00:49:41,460 --> 00:49:42,444
And don't walk on carpets.
366
00:49:59,304 --> 00:50:00,490
Wait here, don't move.
367
00:50:00,690 --> 00:50:03,890
But if you're not going to do
baked-apples, what has it got to
do with my mom? The party is for me.
368
00:50:04,090 --> 00:50:07,300
Abound with foods because we're going
to get a lot of people this evening.
What's up with the cakes?
369
00:50:07,500 --> 00:50:08,500
And the profiteroles?
370
00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:12,740
- Castagnole and frappe.
- Phew!
- The countess ordered us not to do
the profiteroles.
371
00:50:12,940 --> 00:50:18,480
- Phew! This mom of mine! Phew!
Aren't you that Vittoria Laconiglia with the children?
- Yes, I am.
372
00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:23,400
- How nice they are, very nice children.
- Forget them, sir count.
- What are you doing here Vittoria?
373
00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:28,400
- I'm waiting for your mother, the countess.
- Huh, come on, you too! But are you beggars
doing it on purpose?
374
00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:35,100
You use to come here the last day of Carnival,
then we are told to treat you badly, but it's you
who want to be treated badly, couldn't you come...
375
00:50:35,300 --> 00:50:40,150
-...here tomorrow to grab the left-overs?
- No thank you, sir count, I no longer need them,
I got a stroke of luck...
- It's a little bit acid, isn't it?
376
00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:43,000
...I found a martian...
377
00:50:46,440 --> 00:50:48,460
- And what are you going to do with him?
- Well, I'm going to sell him to your mother.
378
00:50:49,580 --> 00:50:52,500
Please come with me for a while,
come darling, come on.
379
00:50:53,790 --> 00:50:54,120
Come in.
380
00:50:58,400 --> 00:51:02,370
- But also you, blessed, come on, you got
a martian and you want to give him to my mom!
- Whom should I sell him to?
381
00:51:02,670 --> 00:51:06,990
- Whom!? Damn! You've to give him to me of course!
- But, sir count, you've no money, your
mother has deprived you of it.
382
00:51:07,190 --> 00:51:12,120
But who the hell is telling you such things?
All these things are made up by you! Yes, I'm
deprived but I've got a lot of stuff indeed,...
383
00:51:12,320 --> 00:51:16,170
...you know, jewels, bonds, look how nice is
this trinket, that is all the stuff whose I'am
the legitimate owner.
384
00:51:17,060 --> 00:51:20,700
- I'm sorry, mr count, but I'd like to
deal in with your mother.
- You're a stubborn peasant indeed!
385
00:51:20,900 --> 00:51:24,450
- Hey you, the countess is sleeping, come
back here after the Carnival.
- That's right.
- Let's go in there, come on.
386
00:51:24,750 --> 00:51:25,950
Come, darling, come on.
387
00:51:28,150 --> 00:51:28,850
Come, darling, come on.
388
00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:35,010
Wanda, leave us alone because I've to
talk with this peasant, go in there
but anyway don't tell my mom where I'm.
389
00:51:36,650 --> 00:51:40,720
That bitch is gossipy, that Wanda
cannot keep her mouth closed,
she's my best friend.
390
00:51:41,220 --> 00:51:44,090
- Take a seat, darling, sit down,
please sit down...- Here?
- Sit down, don't be afraid...
391
00:51:45,570 --> 00:51:48,250
Come on, tell me, but why do you
want to take that martian to my mom?
392
00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:51,190
- They told me she can buy them.
- And how much do you think she is going
to pay for them?
393
00:51:51,390 --> 00:51:54,250
Well, listen to me sir count, she has
to pay a bunch of millions to me.
394
00:51:54,650 --> 00:51:59,550
Well, you'll be unlucky with my mom
about that, she uses to exploit ignorance,
it's the peasants who take them to her...
395
00:51:59,750 --> 00:52:01,450
...and she, such a coward,
didn't let me even see them!
396
00:52:02,440 --> 00:52:04,950
- And what does she use to do with them?
- She uses to strangle them and to throw
them down in the well.
397
00:52:05,250 --> 00:52:06,450
- How poor them!
- All the martians come to this bad end.
398
00:52:07,140 --> 00:52:13,200
- How poor them! But why does she strangle them?
- I really don't know, maybe she's afraid they
come and stir up the peasants against her...
399
00:52:13,500 --> 00:52:16,888
...maybe she's afraid a revolution will be raised,
she did this way also during the Resistance...
400
00:52:17,888 --> 00:52:21,928
- Do you remember what did she do with the partisans?
- Yes, I remember, she gave them hospitality
in the villa, she fed them.
401
00:52:22,128 --> 00:52:26,748
Yeah, she poisoned and threw them
down in the well. I hate that coward woman!
402
00:52:27,555 --> 00:52:33,185
I was a partisan too! Excuse me,
darling. Forget what you see, it's just
a sleep strike.
403
00:52:34,645 --> 00:52:42,400
- Sir count, sir count! Sir count! Sir count!
Sir count! - Who is? - Have you lost
consciousness? - Nothing, darling, it's just an attack,..,
404
00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:45,750
-...I'm epileptic, my daddy too, would you like
a bit of whiskey? - No, thanks, I don't
want anything. - A candy?
405
00:52:46,880 --> 00:52:49,100
No, I don't want anything, I want to
deal in because I want to sell that martian
as soon as possible.
406
00:52:49,300 --> 00:52:53,320
- But I do buy this martian indeed, be quiet,
I'm going to buy him.
- Do you buy him? - Sure!
407
00:52:53,520 --> 00:52:58,320
- And how much do you pay?
- But, darling, you should show him
to me, ok? At least his look, tell me...
408
00:52:58,520 --> 00:53:01,670
-...a little more about him, how is this
weird being, male or female?
- Well, actually you cannot understand that well,...
409
00:53:01,870 --> 00:53:06,400
-...half a man and half a woman, anyway it's
more man than woman.
- I'm enormously interested in them, I'm...
410
00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:11,400
...interested. And tell me more, what
does he do? Can he speak, transmit, can he
communicate?
411
00:53:11,600 --> 00:53:15,900
Well, yes sir count, he tries, he
tries to communicate, he transmits
some signals by his antenna...
412
00:53:16,100 --> 00:53:19,700
-...but I cannot understand anything.
- And what do you want to understand?
You're ignorant. - Indeed.
413
00:53:20,700 --> 00:53:26,180
These weird beings coming from other
planets and landing on earth to
communicate with us...who knows which...
414
00:53:26,380 --> 00:53:32,500
...scientific secrets they're aware of,
who knows, maybe they found the secret
way to cure all the diseases, maybe they...
415
00:53:32,700 --> 00:53:37,300
...could change the sexs, turning a man
into a woman or a woman into a man, or
make dogs speak, who knows? - Dogs too?
416
00:53:37,500 --> 00:53:42,100
They might have discovered an elixir
of a long life so that you can live
for 100, 200, 2000 years, who could...
417
00:53:42,300 --> 00:53:46,450
-...tell that, what do you know about that?
Take this martian to me so that I'll make
you rich. - May I go and take him? - Sure!
418
00:53:46,650 --> 00:53:49,222
- Immediately!
- Listen, do the things accurately, don't
tell anything to my mom.
419
00:53:49,422 --> 00:53:53,635
- I go and I'm coming back soon.
- Excuse me, darling. Forget what you see.
- Oh my God, mr count, one more time?
420
00:53:54,415 --> 00:53:57,895
- Yes, bye, see you later.
- Ok. Holy cow, I hope he's not
going to pass away right now.
421
00:54:18,385 --> 00:54:19,300
- Take a seat, please.
- Thanks, Eminence.
422
00:54:21,050 --> 00:54:27,250
- But is this woman old?
- No, she's young, Eminence, poor woman,
she has got 7 children and lives in a hovel.
423
00:54:27,550 --> 00:54:34,000
She has got a bronchial catarrh and a
brother-in-law who came out of prison,
so I said to myself: "Now I'm coming in her...
424
00:54:34,200 --> 00:54:39,100
...home". "No!", she said, otherwise people
criticizes, criticizes...
425
00:54:39,900 --> 00:54:44,600
- So you looked at the window and you
saw the martian.
- I saw the martian, Eminence.
426
00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:51,500
- And what did the martian do?
- He had got an antenna and he transmitted
some messages to the children.
427
00:54:51,700 --> 00:54:56,230
I don't understand your uneases, my
dear son, you mightn't see well, you
might make a mistake...
428
00:54:56,430 --> 00:54:59,200
...I know you use to drink some
glasses of wine in addition, they even
referred that to me...
429
00:55:00,950 --> 00:55:05,650
- I cannot deny that, Eminence, but
how can someone refuse?
- How can someone refuse?! Instead of going...
430
00:55:05,850 --> 00:55:11,900
...for ride all over the night by your
moped, stay in manse, tidy up yourself
and go to bed early.
431
00:55:12,800 --> 00:55:18,200
I'm suffering from insomnia and
anguish, I've got rheumatic pains
and palpitations at my heart...
432
00:55:18,400 --> 00:55:23,520
...when I'm lying down my bed, it
might be because of polenta, but I can't
get any air...
433
00:55:25,910 --> 00:55:30,000
You should take more care of your
health and look after yourself, also
your dressing.
434
00:55:31,050 --> 00:55:39,890
- What? You're without a sock?
- A sock? No, it's nothing, Eminence...
435
00:55:40,190 --> 00:55:45,400
-...the sock slid into my shoe, I'm sorry.
- I know what you need, my dear son.
436
00:55:48,400 --> 00:55:52,250
- What do I need, Eminence?
- A good period of rest in a healthcare home,
437
00:55:52,450 --> 00:55:54,950
...just as also the doctor suggested to you.
438
00:56:01,510 --> 00:56:02,000
Go, my dear.
439
00:56:23,800 --> 00:56:28,900
- It's Vittoria, the beggar, together
with her brother-in-law.
- I knew that, when the holidays come nearer...
440
00:56:29,100 --> 00:56:31,945
-...she uses to come and hold out the hat.
- They are carrying something which I
don't understand well.
441
00:56:46,185 --> 00:56:50,820
Here, let's put the load inside here,
go carefully. Please, a little bit forward.
442
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:57,500
Let's push, darling, let's push,
that's right, here, in this little
chapel, nobody will notice that.
443
00:56:57,900 --> 00:57:02,900
- Sir count, take a look at him,
take a look at him.
- No, don't let me see him, oh my God.
444
00:57:09,400 --> 00:57:13,500
- That's right, they're going away by
the Rolls Royce.
- Very well, now call immediately the sergeant.
445
00:57:21,400 --> 00:57:22,400
Go slowly so that people can take
a look at me.
446
00:57:37,200 --> 00:57:39,830
- Sergeant...
- Fantuzzi, but did Vittoria Laconiglia
win the lottery?
447
00:57:41,660 --> 00:57:42,780
There's a call by the countess Crosara.
448
00:57:56,390 --> 00:58:01,130
Hello? Please, tell me, countess...
I'm coming immediately.
449
00:58:16,400 --> 00:58:20,600
- Let's go, let's go, first
the youngest ones...
- Come on, children.
450
00:58:20,800 --> 00:58:22,530
Be quick, come on, come on.
451
00:58:24,730 --> 00:58:27,100
- Vittoria, what are we going to do
with the pig?
- Give him to the poors of the municipality,...
452
00:58:27,300 --> 00:58:33,340
-...they've the right to food too...
- Vittoria, and what are we going to do
with this house?
453
00:58:33,540 --> 00:58:38,250
Wait, now I'm going to shown you
what I'm doing with it.
454
00:58:43,950 --> 00:58:45,600
- Watch out, wait.
- Mom, what are you doing?
- Look!
455
00:58:55,200 --> 00:58:58,900
- That's done! Let'go, let's go,
let's go away.
- Well done, Vittoria, you did the right thing!
456
00:59:00,100 --> 00:59:03,100
- Very well, the right thing is to set
fire to it!
- Goodbye, I will never see it again.
457
00:59:06,500 --> 00:59:07,300
- Where are we going no?
- Now we're going to a hotel.
458
00:59:13,900 --> 00:59:18,680
Stop, stop, stop, stop! Holy cow, I
forgot the most important thing.
459
00:59:22,800 --> 00:59:23,500
Damn, what a smoke!
460
00:59:34,200 --> 00:59:34,800
Here they are!
461
00:59:39,500 --> 00:59:42,800
Stop! Halt there! Everybody get out
of this car! Everybody get out!
462
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:45,050
- You, the children, too!
- The carabinieri!
- Out of there, get out!
463
00:59:45,150 --> 00:59:47,900
- What do you want from us?
- The car, the fur, the jewels, the
bonds, where did you hide them?
464
00:59:48,100 --> 00:59:52,040
- Come on! Get out all the stuff!
- All the stuff is inside there, why?
465
00:59:54,040 --> 00:59:56,440
- I must requisition everything, the countess
Crosara has denounced you for fraud and con trick...
466
00:59:56,640 --> 00:59:59,980
-...to the detriment of her son the count.
- But which fraud and con trick? I sold
a martian to him.
467
01:00:00,180 --> 01:00:02,950
- The countess Crosara denies the martian's
existence.
- And her son?
468
01:00:03,100 --> 01:00:07,100
- Mr count isn't in the full possession of
his mental faculties.
- But I've got a witness. - Who is he?
469
01:00:07,300 --> 01:00:10,850
- Him!
- It's me, it's me who took the martian
personally to the count.
470
01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:13,130
- Who are you?
- I'm her brother-in-law.
- No, no, the brother-in-law may not...
471
01:00:13,330 --> 01:00:20,000
-...witness, especially you, being even recividist.
- He may be recividist, but not the children, they
are innocent creatures and their testimony can be...
472
01:00:20,200 --> 01:00:24,200
-...of some value, isn't it?
- Since they are aware of the martian's presence?
- And how! They ate together with him!
473
01:00:25,200 --> 01:00:30,200
- If they ate together with a martian,
their testimony is decisive.
- Did you listen to that? Think the...
474
01:00:30,400 --> 01:00:36,500
...situation out, our home is burning,
the pig has died of fright this night, we're
facing a catastrophe, did you understand?
475
01:00:36,700 --> 01:00:43,500
A catastrophe. Our richness or poverty
depends on you, on your answer, did
you understand?
476
01:00:43,700 --> 01:00:47,500
- Yes.
- Answer well!
- Go ahead, sergeant.
477
01:00:48,100 --> 01:00:52,050
Children, everything depends on you,
yesterday evening there was a martian
in your home?
478
01:00:54,350 --> 01:00:57,850
- Fantuzzi, take the brother-in-law, I'm
taking the woman...
- How come!? Tell the truth, sons of a bitch!
479
01:00:58,000 --> 01:00:58,800
Undress the fur, you.
480
01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:02,100
- No...
- What's up?
-...this is mine!
481
01:01:02,300 --> 01:01:03,400
- Is a count's geranium this one?
- No, it's mine!
482
01:01:06,900 --> 01:01:08,500
What? My brother-in-law too?
483
01:01:11,550 --> 01:01:12,250
Let's go, Fantuzzi.
484
01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:15,800
Let's go, come on, before they
lock up all of us.
485
01:01:31,200 --> 01:01:36,000
And now that we're alone in a
desert, there was a martian in your
home the past night?
486
01:01:38,000 --> 01:01:38,800
Go to hell!
487
01:01:51,700 --> 01:01:52,700
Oh my God! I set fire to my home!
488
01:01:58,150 --> 01:02:05,150
I must go away because my health
is not so excellent, as the doctors say.
489
01:02:09,450 --> 01:02:15,450
- Goodbye Bepi.
- Goodbye.
- Another priest will come, a handsome...
490
01:02:15,650 --> 01:02:17,650
-...and elegant one who will settle
all of us.
- You're right, you're right.
491
01:02:21,650 --> 01:02:23,020
Some people are happy that...
492
01:02:25,500 --> 01:02:33,100
...I'm leaving, there's a person
criticizing and sending anonymous
letters to the Bishop because...
493
01:02:33,300 --> 01:02:38,800
...my shoes are broken...and our
Lord Jesus Christ who walked on water
without shoes and socks, poor him!
494
01:02:41,000 --> 01:02:45,500
- Are we going to criticize him too?
- Don Giuseppe, here's a bottle of wine.
- Thank you. - Drink it to our health.
495
01:02:46,500 --> 01:02:53,500
This is a gift I'm enjoying
wholeheartedly. A glass of wine
and eating together with friends...
496
01:02:54,900 --> 01:03:01,700
...and not being taken to a clinic
to heal...they're taking me to a clinic...
- Don Giuseppe, are you leaving without your suitcase?
497
01:03:03,100 --> 01:03:07,050
- That suitcase is useless to me, I'm
bearing all that I have.
- And what's inside it?
498
01:03:08,350 --> 01:03:15,950
Beans, potatoes, a bit of flour, bring
this stuff to that widow having 7
children, poor woman, winter is long.
499
01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:18,000
Jesus Christ be praised.
500
01:03:26,800 --> 01:03:31,990
Goodbye, don Giuseppe. Come back
soon. - See you soon, don Giuseppe.
501
01:03:54,750 --> 01:03:57,750
MASKED NIGHT PARTY
502
01:04:34,550 --> 01:04:37,050
Don't obstruct the transit, pay
attention, halt!
503
01:04:34,550 --> 01:04:37,050
Don't obstruct the transit, pay
attention, halt!
504
01:04:34,550 --> 01:04:37,050
Don't obstruct the transit, pay
attention, halt!
505
01:04:38,050 --> 01:04:42,900
Go ahead, you! Be quiet, be quiet!
Let the car pass through.
506
01:04:43,150 --> 01:04:47,700
Slowly and gently, don't hurt
yourselves, slowly, don't play the fool.
507
01:05:03,200 --> 01:05:06,500
Be quiet, quiet. Don't hurt yourselves,
be calm.
508
01:05:19,900 --> 01:05:21,650
Don't play the fool, you beefy, walk away.
509
01:05:23,400 --> 01:05:24,222
Come on, blonde, come with me.
510
01:05:47,600 --> 01:05:51,320
Don't crowd together into the porch,
walk away for a while. Be careful
with the bangers.
511
01:05:55,100 --> 01:05:57,650
- Good evening, lawyer.
- Good evening, sergeant.
- What's up with you? Aren't you feeling good?
512
01:05:58,450 --> 01:06:00,650
- Listen, sergeant, I'm going to tell
you a thing but I'll disown it immediately.
- What do you mean? What happened?
513
01:06:00,790 --> 01:06:08,690
- My car stopped at the Storta bridge
ten minutes ago, and do you know what I saw?
- A flying saucer. - Yes, and also I saw...
514
01:06:08,790 --> 01:06:13,800
-...a little group of martians coming to the vilage.
- So, who's that woman?
- I told you that but I'm going to disown it, understood?
515
01:06:14,000 --> 01:06:15,400
- I don't want to get troubles.
- So, she isn't disguised.
516
01:06:19,100 --> 01:06:20,400
- Fantuzzi, Fantuzzi, where did the
martian woman go?
- Here's her, sergeant.
517
01:06:20,600 --> 01:06:22,800
Carabiniere, pursue that girl dressed
like as a martian!
518
01:06:23,000 --> 01:06:24,700
Find some information about her!
Take her to our headquarters!
519
01:06:26,700 --> 01:06:28,320
- Sergeant, there's a call for you.
- Don't let her run away.
520
01:06:37,020 --> 01:06:38,210
Now at the phone, all the things are going
to happen this evening!
521
01:06:43,750 --> 01:06:44,450
Hello?
522
01:06:46,650 --> 01:06:47,250
At villa Crosara?
523
01:07:01,250 --> 01:07:04,600
- Fantuzzi, a call from villa Crosara.
- The countess?
- It was anonymous. An old woman's voice.
524
01:07:13,300 --> 01:07:17,900
We've caught her, she has no papers and
she doesn't want to speak. Come on, get
out of there. Put her in prison.
525
01:07:22,600 --> 01:07:23,300
Bye bye, blond, bye.
526
01:07:31,120 --> 01:07:35,500
- But, sergeant, have you a search warrant?
- Fantuzzi, I'm not having good times being
a sergeant at all.
527
01:07:36,500 --> 01:07:38,100
I'm just doing what I can do, but
I use to get at the bottom of something.
528
01:07:38,300 --> 01:07:40,800
- Take and hold it. And don't move.
- Ok, sergeant.
529
01:07:46,400 --> 01:07:51,300
- Beatrice, dismount.
- No, I don't dismount at all.
- Beatrice, I'm saying to you: "Dismount".
530
01:07:51,500 --> 01:07:56,050
- No, I don't dismount at all.
- "Dismount", I'm saying to you.
- No, because I like it.
531
01:09:08,400 --> 01:09:09,380
- What's up?
- Sergeant, what are you doing here?
532
01:09:10,380 --> 01:09:13,980
- I'm doing some investigations.
- I'm sorry but I cannot help you.
- Why? Maybe it's you who should authorize me?
533
01:09:15,280 --> 01:09:18,180
- Who are you? An owner or a butler?
- I'm a butler.
- So, accompany me to the countess...
534
01:09:18,380 --> 01:09:20,300
...how dare you to call me by a touch
of your finger!? Do you know I can
shove you in prison?
535
01:09:38,680 --> 01:09:40,750
- A drink, sergeant?
- Are you playing the fool?
536
01:09:53,250 --> 01:09:56,500
- May I come in?
- Come in, sergeant.
- Good evening, countess.
537
01:10:12,500 --> 01:10:13,950
- Take a seat, sergeant.
- Thank you, countess.
538
01:10:16,010 --> 01:10:18,550
- She's my son's girlfriend.
- I didn't know he was engaged.
539
01:10:19,600 --> 01:10:22,570
- Would you like to drink a glass of wine?
- Since you're just insisting, I'd
like to drink half a glass.
540
01:10:23,450 --> 01:10:27,750
- Tell me, sergeant, I'd like...
- Thank you.
-...to know which person sent you...
541
01:10:27,950 --> 01:10:31,700
-...here at this hour of the night.
- I received an anonymous call and
so I rushed here.
542
01:10:31,900 --> 01:10:38,500
Instead of going hunting ghosts inside
my park and without a search warrant,
why don't go to my peasants and frisk them?
543
01:10:38,700 --> 01:10:45,300
- They are stealing even my shirt.
- Excuse me, countess, if you're
trying to frighten me, I'm telling you...
544
01:10:45,500 --> 01:10:52,250
-...immediately you're not thrilling me.
- No, no threats, but since we're alone
and without a witness, I'm telling you...
545
01:10:52,550 --> 01:10:53,330
...I can reach very high by
a phone call, ok?
546
01:10:56,570 --> 01:10:57,270
Sit down here, sergeant.
547
01:11:14,070 --> 01:11:14,870
No, I'm not Tony.
548
01:11:19,700 --> 01:11:20,300
What are you doing now?
549
01:11:47,000 --> 01:11:47,900
I'm sorry but I'm not Tony.
550
01:13:14,350 --> 01:13:17,440
- Are they having good times, sergeant?
- Why do you take care of that?
Let's go, Fantuzzi.
551
01:13:26,750 --> 01:13:30,200
Sergeant, there's the commander
on the phone, he has already been calling
for 3 times.
552
01:13:33,750 --> 01:13:37,550
- Hello?
- Hello.
- Yes, commander.
553
01:13:37,850 --> 01:13:40,550
- Who did authorize you to enter the
Crosara villa?
- Has the countess already call you?
554
01:13:40,850 --> 01:13:44,700
- Yes and she's right because you may not enter
without a search warrant.
- What to do? Must I request a search warrant?
555
01:13:44,900 --> 01:13:49,550
- For which reason?
- There's a naked countess on a horse, there're some
women dancing together and a woman even kissed me.
556
01:13:49,750 --> 01:13:53,730
- Then?
- The count Momi danced a tango together
with a weird being. - Who is he?
557
01:13:53,930 --> 01:13:57,230
- A martian.
- And how is he?
- If I'm not wrong, he's a nigger with...
558
01:13:57,430 --> 01:13:59,770
-...yellow boots.
- Excuse me, sergeant, you know that
the martians don't exist.
559
01:14:00,000 --> 01:14:04,440
- So why did you make me investigate?
- In order to demonstrate they don't exist.
- So what to do? Must I stop investigations?
560
01:14:04,640 --> 01:14:08,960
Do just like as you want, provided that
you won't make me get some troubles, ok, did
you understand?
561
01:14:09,800 --> 01:14:10,700
Yes, commander, at your beck and call.
562
01:14:11,950 --> 01:14:12,200
I don't understand...
563
01:14:16,400 --> 01:14:23,900
Hello? Villa Crosara? Are you still
the anonymous one? What's up now? A martian
in the garden? Dead or alive?
564
01:14:25,100 --> 01:14:27,666
They want to throw him down the well?
Really? Listen, old woman, do you know...
565
01:14:27,866 --> 01:14:31,360
...what it may happen if I catch
you while playing these jokes?
I'll shove you in prison!
566
01:14:37,740 --> 01:14:42,280
Now they are bringing him...here's now they
have just thrown him down in the well.
567
01:14:48,350 --> 01:14:53,710
- What are we saying to mr count tomorrow?
- Don't take care of that, now he's sleeping.
- Tomorrow he will have forgotten him.
568
01:15:02,800 --> 01:15:10,650
Concluding these accurate investigations,
we find that the 3 rumoured martians are
a result of ill fantasies due to...
569
01:15:10,850 --> 01:15:21,140
...alcoholism, sexual dissatisfaction,
political exaltation and mostly a desire
of visibility, exhibitionism and speaking on TV...
570
01:15:24,440 --> 01:15:30,970
...infact no one martian, neither dead
neither alive, has been found, and the same
can be said about the alarming messages...
571
01:15:31,170 --> 01:15:39,570
-...they might have give to the human kind.
- And the martian woman?
- As to the martian woman, provided with...
572
01:15:39,770 --> 01:15:52,000
...glass boobs, we find that she's a masked girl
from the town, having no papers and refusing
to take off her glass helmet to let her identify...
573
01:15:52,200 --> 01:16:03,840
...she will enter the provincial prisons and
she will answer for resisting arrest and
gross indecency. Signed Sergeant Vincenzo Berruti.
574
01:16:29,180 --> 01:16:32,500
- So what? What happened Fantuzzi?
- It's not powered, sergeant.
575
01:16:32,700 --> 01:16:34,440
- So what to do?
- I'm afraid that the battery has discharged.
576
01:16:34,640 --> 01:16:36,450
- Run, hurry!
- I'm coming back in 10 minutes.
577
01:16:39,660 --> 01:16:40,360
The battery has discharged.
578
01:20:25,670 --> 01:20:28,850
Come here, I'm catching you.
What are you doing? Are you
escaping from me?
579
01:20:31,250 --> 01:20:37,410
Where are you getting in now?
Are you going into there?
Come here.
580
01:20:39,130 --> 01:20:39,930
Where are you going to hide?
581
01:21:02,460 --> 01:21:05,020
Certainly! Certainly, be
sure of that!
582
01:21:21,920 --> 01:21:29,080
- Sergeant! Where are you sergeant?
- I'm here, Fantuzzi.
- What happened?
583
01:21:29,280 --> 01:21:32,550
The flying saucer, I have spoken
to martians, where's the car?
584
01:21:33,550 --> 01:21:36,450
I got an important message I have
to communicate to the human kind,
hurry, run!
585
01:21:52,540 --> 01:21:55,540
And in a hurry they took me to
communicate the message.
586
01:21:58,280 --> 01:22:05,530
But instead of a message I got a massage,
they put a white beanie on my head and
they made me get an electro-shock...
587
01:22:08,000 --> 01:22:14,020
-...the same destiny happened to the
accountant and telegraph operator,...
-...to give life a meaning can lead you...
588
01:22:14,220 --> 01:22:19,460
-...to madness...
-...to the poor don Giuseppe,...
- Let's care for each other, holy mackerel.
589
01:22:20,750 --> 01:22:24,400
...and to the count Momi, who threw
his mother down in the well and came
here by his own free will...
590
01:22:24,600 --> 01:22:26,580
...I'm feeling so good here at the mental
hospital, there's a lot of understanding...
591
01:22:27,280 --> 01:22:33,000
Me, who used to obey silently and
silently to die, it has been 4 years since
I'm inside here, where, they...
592
01:22:33,200 --> 01:22:40,680
...try to persuade me that I got
mad by incredible tortures, but, since
I'm not mad, I wrote my memorials...
593
01:22:40,880 --> 01:22:47,110
...but, not being this a sufficient
evidence in order to be reliable,
I'm asking all the people who cared for me...
594
01:22:47,310 --> 01:22:54,400
...and knew me in the line of my duty,
the blameless ones and the jailbirds,
if you'll meet a martian one day by any chance,...
595
01:22:54,600 --> 01:22:58,700
...for writing to me immediately at
the following address: ex Sergeant...
596
01:22:58,900 --> 01:23:04,150
...Vincenzo Berruti, Saint Ubaldo's mental
hospital, province of Treviso, flying
saucers unit.
597
01:23:20,000 --> 01:23:24,800
THE END
70607
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