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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:17,855 - Who's that one? - What happened? 2 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:20,900 Nothing, just another guy who saw flying saucers. 3 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:28,700 MEMORIALS NO. 7 4 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:32,900 To Her Majesty the Queen Elizabeth of England, to Nikita Krushov Prime Minister of Soviet Union, to Lyndon Johnson President of United States, to His Holiness Paolo VI and to all the other chiefs of State for their information 5 00:00:33,750 --> 00:00:36,850 THE FLYING SAUCER 6 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:39,000 and in order of appearance 7 00:00:49,750 --> 00:01:05,800 These Memorials contain a set of documents proving irrefutably the appearing of flying saucers in the Municipality of Carpeneto Veneto. Moreover, here's an attached copy of a Message I was given personally by martians for the great chiefs of State. The Carabinieri's Sergeant Vincenzo Berruti 8 00:01:06,155 --> 00:01:13,750 - Flying saucers on sky at Carpeneto Veneto - A bricklayer from Carpeneto sees a flying saucer? 9 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:18,650 On February 1960 I, the undersigned, was as a Carabinieri's Sergeant at the Municipality... 10 00:02:19,650 --> 00:02:24,265 ...of Carpeneto Veneto, a village of 2000 citizens about, mostly dedicated to agriculture. 11 00:02:25,730 --> 00:02:31,870 People had been talking about flying saucers for a long time, but the only ones who saw them were pitchmen, midwifes... 12 00:02:33,095 --> 00:02:38,300 ...drunk peasants, anyway all persons dedicated to night life, vagrancy and begging. 13 00:02:40,030 --> 00:02:46,215 But at night of 25th February a fire of a farm, linked to mysterious and inexplicable events... 14 00:02:47,255 --> 00:02:51,125 ...called to newspapers, radio and even TV. 15 00:02:55,950 --> 00:03:01,655 ...I got a backache, oh my God what a backache! Oh my God what a bellyache! 16 00:03:02,885 --> 00:03:10,485 Oh my God what a backache! Oh my God what a bellyache! 17 00:03:15,250 --> 00:03:16,200 Fire! 18 00:03:17,700 --> 00:03:20,205 Here we come to this wonderful area of Veneto's countryside... 19 00:03:21,105 --> 00:03:24,660 ...for our TV program and after the exceptional events occurred a night ago... 20 00:03:25,380 --> 00:03:28,971 ...just to approach and hear about what happened live from witnesses' voices... 21 00:03:29,645 --> 00:03:31,730 Here we are, let's stop for a while. Madam? 22 00:03:32,785 --> 00:03:34,940 - Huuuuh? - Madam, please where did martians land? 23 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,600 Everywhere, in the middle of fields...a stink... 24 00:03:38,410 --> 00:03:43,710 A turning ball of fire, then it became orange, then it stopped, then it became a triangle. 25 00:03:44,455 --> 00:03:48,670 It flied above the bell tower, they seemed flying saucers, in short like soup plates. 26 00:03:49,550 --> 00:03:51,000 - What kind of soup? - A soup of beans. 27 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:52,500 I want to go to Rome. 28 00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:56,935 - Tell me, did you see a flying saucer? - A flying saucer? Yes, it landed on a lawn... 29 00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:05,180 ...with no noise, it came down from the sky onto the middle of grasslands like the cows. 30 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,100 - And were you scared? - No. - Well done! 31 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:12,600 Now we're listening to the voices of this people, some impressions, here's a lady who is stopping probably for shopping... 32 00:04:13,325 --> 00:04:18,645 - Madam, what did you see? - I never hurted anyone, I'm not afraid, so anyone who has a clear conscience is never afraid of anything. 33 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:27,800 - They come from billions kilometres far away, but, excuse me, by which fuel? - Indeed! By which fuel? 34 00:04:28,700 --> 00:04:30,640 Let's hear a voice of a writer, an intellectual, a poet of this village. 35 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,000 - I beg you pardon? - Speak. 36 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:37,975 My name is Dario Marsicano, I'm a telegraph operator, I wrote 11 comedies not yet played and... 37 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:41,935 -...3 inedited novels... - Well done. -...in province there're writers of great value... 38 00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:47,275 -...who are boycotted by the usual Moravia and Pasolini at Rome. - That's right. 39 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,900 - Do I have to repeat? - No, thanks, it's enough. - Thank you. 40 00:04:50,500 --> 00:04:51,900 Let's listen to the mayor of the village now. 41 00:04:53,666 --> 00:04:57,885 Roads, bridges, coaches, hotels to give rise to tourism... 42 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:04,065 ...to make money move all around, because if money circulates for the rich man, it can circulate for the poor man as well... 43 00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:09,800 ...and stop these chit-chats harming tourism. - Absolutely. Thank you, sir mayor. - You're welcome. 44 00:05:10,550 --> 00:05:12,740 - Here's the mayor's wife. - Ehm...well... - Chin up, speak... 45 00:05:14,650 --> 00:05:20,845 - Well... - Go ahead. - Well...if someone has a deep religious feeling and a frank attachment to family... 46 00:05:22,630 --> 00:05:26,470 ...such things cannot be seen and even be conceived, true? 47 00:05:27,340 --> 00:05:32,250 Amongst our several interviews, the one with the priest couldn't be missed, the clergyman of this village... 48 00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:36,740 ...a poor and simple priest, don Giuseppe, a clergyman so loved by his parishioners... 49 00:05:37,870 --> 00:05:42,700 ...that's him, Don Giuseppe. Tell me, what do you think of these appearings which, as you can see, upset the weather... 50 00:05:43,225 --> 00:05:45,065 - It's raining. -...and perhaps your parishioners' consciences too. 51 00:05:46,065 --> 00:05:51,015 Also His Eminence the Bishop uses to say to me every time: "Don't believe that, don Giuseppe, since martians don't exist,... 52 00:05:52,015 --> 00:05:57,705 ...don't be afraid, the devil disguises himself into many forms, as a woman, as a rabbit". Let's be sociable and... 53 00:05:58,355 --> 00:06:01,095 -...have a glass of wine. - So do you like wine, don't you? - I cannot deny it. 54 00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:05,130 - But I was told you use to hang out in the inn very often. - Our Lord Jesus Christ used to say every time: 55 00:06:06,375 --> 00:06:10,150 - "Let's keep in touch with people" and where do people use to go here? To inn. 56 00:06:11,127 --> 00:06:15,650 - See you, now I go and see my parishioners. - Are you going to manse? - No, no, to inn. Jesus Christ be praised. 57 00:06:17,415 --> 00:06:27,945 As a country doctor, I'd say these are oneiric fantasies, daydreams, created by subconscious and exploding into... 58 00:06:29,525 --> 00:06:32,660 ...collective psychosis, let's admit the truth, people use to drink too much: grappa, wine, all the stuff in short. 59 00:06:33,660 --> 00:06:37,500 Now it's enough, I don't speak anymore, I don't speak anymore, what the hell! 60 00:06:38,100 --> 00:06:40,270 - What did you see? - I don't know anything. - Really nothing? 61 00:06:41,045 --> 00:06:43,110 I don't care. Absolute madness. 62 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:48,000 - How do you figure them? - There's a lot of vulgarity and violence in this world... 63 00:06:49,570 --> 00:06:52,400 ...and instead they are so kind. 64 00:06:53,100 --> 00:06:59,045 - Here's the countess Crosara. - Peasants have a lot of claims, they want to eat meat every week and... 65 00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:03,000 ...they no longer respect the owners and they use to steal everything... 66 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:07,400 -...so you can imagine who they blame, the martians. - It's an opinion. 67 00:07:08,125 --> 00:07:11,300 Mom, please let me speak in front of TV too. Do you allow it, Mazzarella? 68 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:23,100 Well, I suppose these weird and odd beings are sexless and they are trying to get in touch with us by their little antennas... 69 00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:27,800 -...but they are hindered... - Mazzarella, Mazzarella, don't pay attention to my son, he's half a moron. 70 00:07:33,885 --> 00:07:39,200 Our province is nice and full of oxygen and stop with these ugly things coming from Rome. 71 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:44,300 - Let's go on with our investigation in a poorer area, here's an isolated farmhouse,... - Mom, mom... 72 00:07:45,100 --> 00:07:50,075 ...a woman running off with her children... madam, why are you running off, madam, don't be afraid of our microphone, come here... 73 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:56,600 ...make some statements, come on, madam, tell us about these mysterious appearings... 74 00:07:57,200 --> 00:08:00,300 - I'm just a widow with 7 sons and a pig! - But did you ever see the martians? 75 00:08:01,145 --> 00:08:03,270 - And how much do you pay for this interview? - Nothing, come on... 76 00:08:04,300 --> 00:08:06,600 - Aah, my guess was right. - Well, stop it now. 77 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:09,090 - Excuse me, please where are the Carabinieri's headquarters? - But I didn't commit anything. 78 00:08:10,150 --> 00:08:12,210 - Yeah, I know that, but the Carabinieri? - Carabinieri are on this way. 79 00:08:13,210 --> 00:08:14,050 Ah, thank you, let's go. 80 00:08:15,050 --> 00:08:16,050 - Are you the sergeant? - May I speak? 81 00:08:17,050 --> 00:08:22,210 I don't consider appropriate to investigate since we didn't receive any report from private citizens... 82 00:08:23,210 --> 00:08:29,200 ...and from public authorities, anyway, as I repeat, I don't speak out because this thing isn't of my responsibility. 83 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:36,800 And it isn't of my responsibility because neither martians neither flying saucers are of our responsibility. 84 00:08:37,900 --> 00:08:39,875 Good, well said, good, Sergeant, very free and easy... 85 00:08:41,465 --> 00:08:45,000 It's not a matter of being free and easy, it's enough to have clear ideas and some very accurate things to tell... 86 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,800 - Sergeant, there's a call for you. - Ok. - You need to be free and easy. 87 00:08:53,420 --> 00:08:57,810 - Hello, I'm the sergeant Berruti. - Listen, sergeant, what are you telling on TV? 88 00:08:58,715 --> 00:09:00,150 - That the thing isn't of our responsibility, commander. - But how could it be otherwise? 89 00:09:01,570 --> 00:09:04,800 Anything that happens inside your area is of your responsibility. This is an embarassing thing for me on TV! 90 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:09,015 - Start to investigate immediately. - All right, commander, if you order me that, I'm investigating immediately. 91 00:09:10,870 --> 00:09:15,640 That's right, start immediately an enquiry, investigate, keep track of events and send me a report on the situation every day. 92 00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:17,300 Sure, I agree, commander. 93 00:09:20,900 --> 00:09:21,950 Goodbye to everybody. 94 00:09:28,900 --> 00:09:33,910 - I was feeding a calf by candle-light... -...by candle-light... 95 00:09:34,425 --> 00:09:40,700 ...at a certain point I heard something like a sound of an organ, I went out here and I saw a flying saucer there... 96 00:09:41,660 --> 00:09:43,900 Where exactly? 97 00:09:47,250 --> 00:09:49,000 - Where? - There. 98 00:09:50,380 --> 00:09:54,380 - How big it was? - 12 meters x 6, a totally silver one. 99 00:09:55,950 --> 00:10:00,365 - 12 meters x 6, a totally silver one. Go ahead, child. - Then a flying saucer's door was opened... 100 00:10:01,225 --> 00:10:03,315 -...and a Chinese guy came down. - How did that Chinese guy dress? 101 00:10:04,785 --> 00:10:13,300 Nylon bootlegs till this point, a close-fitting totally leather girdle, a helmet on head and red tango boots. 102 00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:17,365 A helmet on head and red tango boots. 103 00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:21,555 - Were you afraid? - Not at all, or better, I liked him. 104 00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:27,700 - And what did that Chinese guy do to you? - He held me and said to me: "Don't love your father and your mother". 105 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:34,200 So there. The child, asked a question, replies: "He held me and said to me: "Don't love your father and your mother". Go ahead. 106 00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:39,050 Then he went down that way through the grassland, do you see there are still some marks? 107 00:10:40,300 --> 00:10:43,960 - Did you ever have other apparitions? - Yes, I saw Holy Mary a year ago. 108 00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:46,480 Yeah, Fantuzzi, let's go! 109 00:10:53,700 --> 00:11:04,380 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 and 12... Sergeant, here's where the flying saucer landed. 110 00:11:05,380 --> 00:11:11,645 - 1, 2 and 3, triangle-shaped. - And the martian? - The martian came down here and he went that way. 111 00:11:13,375 --> 00:11:15,500 So we have only to follow the track. Fantuzzi, let's go. 112 00:11:20,235 --> 00:11:21,350 Here's me coming to find you out. 113 00:11:25,050 --> 00:11:27,200 This is the track the child talked about, come on, follow me. 114 00:11:48,030 --> 00:11:57,000 Mah, what should I say to you, mom? I have no longer been standing that sergeant since he grew such a big moustache. 115 00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,200 What is that sergeant doing inside our own property? 116 00:12:01,630 --> 00:12:03,555 Come on, mom, why such a question? You know perfectly the reason. 117 00:12:04,830 --> 00:12:06,500 They are looking for the martians, no? 118 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:13,500 And these ones?! Look how nice are these new carabinieri who have been sent here recently, how young! 119 00:12:15,350 --> 00:12:19,695 Momi, stop it, give up looking at the carabinieri, and get ready because your girlfriend is coming. 120 00:12:20,590 --> 00:12:23,775 Hum! What's that girlfriend of mine coming here for? I hate her. 121 00:12:37,700 --> 00:12:41,535 Here we are on a fork, the track is forking. The first one went this way, the second one that way. 122 00:12:42,270 --> 00:12:44,230 - The child told us there was only a martian. - Maybe he splitted in two. 123 00:12:45,230 --> 00:12:49,685 Come on, stop these useless comments. Four of you, follow this track, me and Fantuzzi the other one, we're meeting at headquarters at high noon. 124 00:12:50,405 --> 00:12:52,890 - See you later, sergeant. - Let's go, Fantuzzi. - Walk on in a single file. 125 00:12:53,890 --> 00:12:54,890 Be careful with that cow. 126 00:13:02,290 --> 00:13:05,930 - And they separated another time at this point. - So, we ought to separate too. 127 00:13:06,930 --> 00:13:11,165 - Two this way and two that way. - But how many are they? - I don't know, it's hard to understand now. 128 00:13:23,965 --> 00:13:27,685 - Fantuzzi, what happened? - Nothing, don Giuseppe has fallen down his moped. 129 00:13:28,990 --> 00:13:30,150 One day I'll shove him in prison. 130 00:13:33,215 --> 00:13:34,215 Here I am, what a smack. 131 00:13:37,777 --> 00:13:40,470 The loaf, here's it. 132 00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:08,400 - Oh my God, what a bad beast, a torment of my life! - Mom, the Carabinieri! 133 00:14:12,540 --> 00:14:19,320 - Excuse us, mrs Vittoria, where have you been this night at a quarter past 22? - I were at Montecarlo's casino to gamble... 134 00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:22,390 -...away my millions lire left. - Have you been paid a visit by somebody? 135 00:14:22,590 --> 00:14:28,300 - A visit? - A guy with red boots and a helmet on head. 136 00:14:29,485 --> 00:14:34,735 - But are you looking for martians at my home? - Anyway, if you sight a suspicious guy, come and inform us at our headquarters. 137 00:14:36,020 --> 00:14:42,560 Yes, yes, ok, come on, if I find out a martian, I'll hand over him just to you, holy cow, there's even the story of a martian now! 138 00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:20,640 ...despite everything we need a meaning for our life and now I know we've to hoist the sails and to catch the destiny's... 139 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:32,005 ...winds, to give life a meaning can lead you to madness but a meaningless life is a torment of an endless unease and of a vain... 140 00:15:32,205 --> 00:15:41,670 -...desire, it's a ship longing for sea and yet... - Now stop with these things, call me sleazy and filthy... 141 00:15:41,870 --> 00:15:43,000 Sleazy and filthy. 142 00:15:45,275 --> 00:15:48,830 - I'm so sorry... - Did you recognize me? - Huh no, mr accountant... 143 00:15:50,780 --> 00:15:54,272 - And the lady? - Maybe, but I haven't been looking at her enough. 144 00:15:59,315 --> 00:16:05,500 - He's the accountant working on telegraph, but who is she? - Maybe I may be wrong, but she's the major's... 145 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:06,330 ...wife, according to what I saw. 146 00:16:20,750 --> 00:16:23,010 - Good morning, madam. - Good morning, sergeant, I was waiting for you. 147 00:16:24,820 --> 00:16:25,660 Please, come in. 148 00:16:31,095 --> 00:16:33,590 - Please, take a seat. - Thank you, mrs Meneghello. 149 00:16:37,155 --> 00:16:43,420 Excuse me for the question, mrs Meneghello, it's a mere formality, have you been at home yesterday evening since half past 21 to 22 o'clock? 150 00:16:44,380 --> 00:16:47,165 - Yes, I was at home... - Alone? - Alone. 151 00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:51,715 Mrs Meneghello...since half past 21 to 22 o'clock...go ahead... 152 00:16:53,230 --> 00:16:58,755 I repeat, it was half past 21, I was sitting down here and I was listening to "Stellina"... 153 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:05,575 - Do you know "Stellina"? - Who is "Stellina"? - A song, may I start the record? 154 00:17:10,225 --> 00:17:11,865 I've been listening to it for 20 times today probably. 155 00:17:40,365 --> 00:17:43,330 - What's up? - Do not disturb me, don't you see I'm talking? 156 00:17:45,670 --> 00:17:48,385 - Where can I resume my talk? - You were listening to "Stellina", go ahead. 157 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:57,040 - I came closer to a window... - And what did you see? - There was a martian, completely naked... 158 00:17:57,340 --> 00:18:05,320 ...and he walked slowly through the orchard. - Mrs Meneghello, since this being, not yet well identified, came here naked... 159 00:18:05,620 --> 00:18:13,840 -...could you tell me which was his sex? - Male, he was a male. - Are you sure he was a man? 160 00:18:20,340 --> 00:18:24,190 - Certaaaainly he was a man! - Maria, shame on you! 161 00:18:24,790 --> 00:18:25,560 What are you doing? Have you smarted my hand? 162 00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:31,735 - That's enough, mrs Meneghello, many thanks and goodbye. - Sergeant, the timber yard is mine... 163 00:18:31,935 --> 00:18:38,845 ...my father was the owner, they want me to be taken for a fool, yes, he agreed, all the heads of the village agreed... 164 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,365 -...to keep such a thing hidden... - Yes, where's the way out from here? 165 00:18:41,665 --> 00:18:43,495 - Come here, be quiet. - Be careful, sergeant! 166 00:18:44,415 --> 00:18:47,430 - What kind of disease is? - Help, help... - It's a classic neurosis by transference... 167 00:18:47,730 --> 00:18:55,300 - Mmm, by a transfer, you said? - Since she was a child, she felt in love with her father, then she married a coarse man... 168 00:18:55,600 --> 00:19:02,420 ...in which she didn't find her father, so during those crises, which Freud defines as daydreams,... 169 00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:09,640 ...she sees the naked martian as an ideal man, a father and a lover at the same time. 170 00:19:11,540 --> 00:19:19,610 And he becomes a demigod by transference, infact he comes down from the sky to love and protect her. 171 00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:25,680 - And why did she speak at TV? - Tell me who wouldn't like to speak at TV, me too! - I spoke at TV too! 172 00:19:26,660 --> 00:19:28,850 - Thank you, doctor, and goodbye. - People use to drink too much, that's the truth. - Let's go, Fantuzzi. 173 00:19:29,950 --> 00:19:32,930 - Did something serious happen, sergeant? - Yes, my hand was smarted. 174 00:19:34,070 --> 00:19:39,470 When asked, he replies: "She sees the martian as a lover and a husband who came to protect her and she wants to... 175 00:19:39,770 --> 00:19:46,310 ...speak at TV as well as all the people in province, therefore we've to suppose that the barn was burnst off by a fall of a candle... 176 00:19:46,610 --> 00:19:56,710 ...and that the child invented a flying saucer in order to escape from a punishment by her parents, well known as... 177 00:19:57,010 --> 00:20:08,058 ...rough and violent persons. The above mentioned mrs Meneghello, moreover, asserts that the flying saucer with the martian is... 178 00:20:08,358 --> 00:20:14,365 ...coming back again this night. - Is it coming back again? - Signed Sergeant Vincenzo Berruti. 179 00:20:50,815 --> 00:20:52,525 Good evening to everybody, Jesus Christ be praised. 180 00:20:53,550 --> 00:21:02,140 Hey, do you want to hear the last news? They wrote a letter, a letter to His Eminence the Bishop... 181 00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:06,835 ...an anonymous letter... 182 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:16,300 -...because I use to go to inns every evening... - Chin up, don Giuseppe. - Thank you, just to appreciate. 183 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,460 - To everybody's health, just to appreciate, no bad blood. - Cheers. 184 00:21:19,660 --> 00:21:21,750 - To everybody's health! - Cheers. 185 00:21:21,950 --> 00:21:29,130 But if you don't come and pay me a visit to the parish church, how can I tell you a soothing word? 186 00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:31,980 - To your health! - Cheers. - To everybody's health... 187 00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:33,110 ...and let's care for each other... 188 00:21:38,070 --> 00:21:47,500 Also in America people use to drink a lot, the Russian man uses to drink too, the rich man drinks whiskey, the poor man... 189 00:21:47,700 --> 00:21:54,330 ...drinks a glass of wine, it's healthy, and don't criticize a lot... 190 00:21:56,300 --> 00:22:00,840 - Ace, horse and king: it's all ours. - Sir major? - Tell me, mr accountant. 191 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,800 - Would you like to replace me? - With pleasure. - Just for half a hour about. 192 00:22:03,999 --> 00:22:04,900 Have a good game. 193 00:22:06,735 --> 00:22:08,740 - Sir major, I'm leaving but I'm coming back soon. - You can leave untroubledly. 194 00:22:08,940 --> 00:22:09,990 Thank you. 195 00:22:12,175 --> 00:22:14,675 - Hem, sir major, don't let me lose. - I'll do my best. 196 00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:21,650 I'm leaving, I'm going away, I go and pay a dead man a visit, good night sir major, good night sergeant, good night everybody. 197 00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:26,713 Jesus Christ be praised, good night. It's raining. 198 00:22:29,300 --> 00:22:29,775 Good thing that he left. 199 00:22:33,215 --> 00:22:33,615 Here's an ace of diamonds. 200 00:22:35,950 --> 00:22:39,960 The light has turned off. A match, please. 201 00:22:43,950 --> 00:22:45,950 It's nine thirty three. Here we are one more time. 202 00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:55,440 Only when your husband replaces me on playing cards, you're here together with me, but one day I'll escape with you... 203 00:22:55,640 --> 00:23:01,999 -...I'll take you to Paris, Montmartre, Le Pigalle, Chevalier... -...and a large soft bed... - Yes. 204 00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:06,940 - And I will have a lot of plumes... - Yes. - And the carpets on the floor... - Yes. 205 00:23:08,990 --> 00:23:13,580 I'm fed up with meeting you along the walls, behind the hedges and into a ditch. 206 00:23:19,250 --> 00:23:22,275 - What to do? Do we stop here? - No, come on, people use to pass through here. 207 00:23:23,730 --> 00:23:24,300 Let's go further. 208 00:23:29,140 --> 00:23:29,740 What a life. 209 00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:47,630 - Well, why did you stop? - Me? It stopped by itself. - Mmmmm, what a dodger! 210 00:23:47,830 --> 00:23:51,460 - You're so cunning, cunning, cunning! - I swear, Dolores, it stopped by itself. 211 00:23:51,660 --> 00:23:57,560 - Do you want us to do it here, right now? - Be quiet and still, first I'm going to tell you... 212 00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:03,530 ...that poem you enjoy...and now I know we've to hoist the sails and to catch the destiny's winds... 213 00:24:03,730 --> 00:24:14,780 ...to give life a meaning can lead you to madness but a meaningless life is a torment of an endless unease and of a vain... 214 00:24:14,980 --> 00:24:22,140 -...desire, it's a ship longing for sea, yet... - Call me sleazy and filthy because I like it more. 215 00:24:22,340 --> 00:24:26,040 - Sleazy and filthy, sleazy and filthy... - Call me again this way, call me again this way! 216 00:24:28,115 --> 00:24:29,450 What a gorgeus sexy leg! 217 00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:48,900 Holy cow, what a bad weather. 218 00:25:08,550 --> 00:25:09,550 That's right. 219 00:25:14,220 --> 00:25:15,430 It stopped by itself. 220 00:25:21,140 --> 00:25:22,140 That's right. 221 00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:24,930 The electric part is no longer working. 222 00:25:25,900 --> 00:25:26,620 It never happened. 223 00:25:30,290 --> 00:25:31,000 Hey, who is calling me? 224 00:25:38,890 --> 00:25:39,430 Tell me! 225 00:26:04,830 --> 00:26:06,230 Here they are coming. 226 00:26:18,050 --> 00:26:21,550 Our Father who art in Heaven, Hollowed be thy name... 227 00:28:48,990 --> 00:28:49,990 Holy mackerel. 228 00:29:21,700 --> 00:29:22,700 Holy mackerel. 229 00:29:34,500 --> 00:29:36,400 Come on, move, do something you too, come on. 230 00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:47,010 - Hurry up, my husband will be already at home. - There's a stable over there, wait for me here. 231 00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:51,750 - Oh my God, I lost the bra. - I've it into my pocket. 232 00:29:57,380 --> 00:30:02,800 If there's a peasant, he can give us a push. Is there anybody? 233 00:30:10,700 --> 00:30:12,040 I need help. 234 00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:17,520 Peasants! 235 00:30:50,900 --> 00:30:52,600 Who, what is it? 236 00:31:16,900 --> 00:31:19,400 Here's it, here's the flying saucer. 237 00:31:20,940 --> 00:31:22,160 I can see it, it's warm, it's warm... 238 00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:42,840 Amazing... 239 00:31:47,450 --> 00:31:48,250 How nice! 240 00:32:25,140 --> 00:32:26,200 No, no...be quiet... 241 00:32:44,900 --> 00:32:46,180 My umbrella, pardon. 242 00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:50,860 What's up? 243 00:32:51,930 --> 00:32:57,620 - The flying saucer... - Let's go away, come on... - The flyiiinng saaauceeer... 244 00:32:59,650 --> 00:33:00,530 Can you hear it, can you hear it? 245 00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:07,790 There's the flying saucer... 246 00:33:15,350 --> 00:33:15,850 Shut up! 247 00:33:42,500 --> 00:33:48,820 Who are you? Are you martians? Or do you come from other planets far away billions, billions and billions kilometres? 248 00:33:49,350 --> 00:33:54,940 - Take a pity on me, I'm a mother, I've got a child 6 years old... - Shut up, don't interrupt... 249 00:33:56,260 --> 00:34:01,950 I know you're superior beings, did you come down from the sky to help or to punish us? 250 00:34:02,150 --> 00:34:07,660 - Don't punish me, I've been a victim of senses. - Shut up! Why should they care of your senses? 251 00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:16,370 - So, speak only you who always know everything. - Can you hear me? There's a lot of injustice in this world, agriculture is in a crisis everywhere... 252 00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:25,917 ...black peoples are getting into a tizzy, women are restless and are claiming their rights, there's a lot of injustice in the art too... 253 00:34:27,150 --> 00:34:34,960 ...I wrote 13 social comedies and they've been always refused by envy, if you want I've a list of bad guys you have to punish... 254 00:34:35,980 --> 00:34:43,340 ...it's me who had this great honour, you came down from the sky and chose me to bring a message to human kind... 255 00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:46,600 -...I'm telling you humbly I'm worthy of that... -...forgive me, forgive me...I'll be more spiritual, I've been a victim of senses... 256 00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:56,770 Oh my God, they're communicating... Morse code, yeah, I'm a telegraph operator, I understand your signals, please go ahead... 257 00:34:57,000 --> 00:35:02,900 - What are they saying? Tell me, tell me... - Yes, a dash, a dot, a dot, a dash... - Shut up, don't interrupt, they're communicating, a dash, a dot... 258 00:35:10,685 --> 00:35:12,700 Come! Come back tomorrow! 259 00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:20,500 Mom, mom, mom, mom! The pig! Mom, mom, the pig, the pig! There's a thief, mom, mom, the pig! - The pig!? 260 00:36:23,500 --> 00:36:29,780 Holy mackerel! What a torment with this pig! I've to decide to make him sleep together with us, otherwise I'll get mad... 261 00:36:32,260 --> 00:36:32,860 Where's my jacket? 262 00:36:33,860 --> 00:36:37,510 Holy mackerel! If only we could have a man, even a moron, but a man! 263 00:36:37,910 --> 00:36:41,820 To protect us from thieves, holy mackerel! It's always the same story! 264 00:36:47,770 --> 00:36:49,770 How many anxieties, how many pains to live 4 days long like a beast! 265 00:37:03,500 --> 00:37:04,200 Such ugly scoundrels! 266 00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:16,640 Hey, are you there? 267 00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:30,050 How bastard they are to attack a lonely and even helpless woman! 268 00:37:31,240 --> 00:37:31,840 Who's there? 269 00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:56,840 Take this! 270 00:38:05,163 --> 00:38:06,780 Damn! This is a martian. 271 00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:12,680 How tall! 272 00:38:23,980 --> 00:38:25,100 Damn! How heavy! 273 00:38:28,890 --> 00:38:30,600 - That's the Boogeyman! - I caught a martian. 274 00:38:43,700 --> 00:38:45,835 - Here I am. Now he's safe. - Did you kill him? 275 00:38:46,135 --> 00:38:49,590 No, I just hit his head by a shovel. How oddly this martian smells. 276 00:38:53,590 --> 00:38:57,060 Everybody sit down around here, just listen carefully to what your mother is telling you. 277 00:38:59,100 --> 00:39:02,680 People all over the world are talking about martians, everybody is looking for them, but nodoby saw them... 278 00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:08,830 -...only your mother could catch and keep safe one martian, ok? - And what to do now that he has been kept safe? 279 00:39:10,500 --> 00:39:18,000 - What to do with the martian? Well, if they want him, they'll give us millions of millions of millions, so we'll get a house,... 280 00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:23,740 -...dresses, shoes, food and all the things we need, did you understand? Huh? - Why don't we take him to Carabinieri? 281 00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:26,950 Because government requisitions and doesn't pay. 282 00:39:27,150 --> 00:39:28,710 Or if it pays, it uses to be late to do it. 283 00:39:29,500 --> 00:39:32,665 Nobody must know that there's a treasure inside that room, understood, huh? 284 00:39:34,475 --> 00:39:41,260 That's right and now answer to my questions: if someone asks you if there's a martian in your home, what do you reply? 285 00:39:42,030 --> 00:39:47,740 If they put you in jail with a bread-and-water diet, if they torture... 286 00:39:47,940 --> 00:39:50,200 ...your flesh by red-hot irons, what do you reply? 287 00:39:57,100 --> 00:40:05,345 - Mom, it's the priest. - Holy cow. Stay here and don't open that door because, if he comes round,... 288 00:40:05,645 --> 00:40:09,155 ...he fulminates all of us, understood? That's right! Holy cow, we wouldn't need the priest too! 289 00:40:11,441 --> 00:40:15,701 - Vittoria, Vittoria? - Who's there? - It's me, don Giuseppe. 290 00:40:18,150 --> 00:40:21,214 - This evening I'm not going to open my door to anybody. - Here're some shoes I've found for you. 291 00:40:21,614 --> 00:40:26,694 - But who is the owner? - A dead man. - Ah, I hope they may fit. 292 00:40:26,894 --> 00:40:27,354 Try on them. 293 00:40:28,884 --> 00:40:31,940 - They'll keep you warm. - Ah, you've been bringing bigger and bigger shoes to me recently. 294 00:40:32,240 --> 00:40:36,440 - Put a piece of cardboard inside them. - But how are you this evening? You're totally distraught. 295 00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:43,990 - I've got a temperature and rheumatic pains and I had even some bad visions. - It might be some glasses of wine in addition. 296 00:40:44,740 --> 00:40:48,470 - It never happened to me so far but I've been afraid this evening. - That's right, have a restful sleep... 297 00:40:48,670 --> 00:40:52,540 -...and tomorrow morning you're feeling better. - The children? - Mom, he has woken up! 298 00:40:52,740 --> 00:40:55,865 - Who did wake up? - No, nothing, nobody, go to bed, don Giuseppe, it's better. 299 00:40:56,105 --> 00:41:00,140 - Who is he? - You'd better to go to bed, good night. - Thank you, goodbye and good night. 300 00:41:00,340 --> 00:41:04,470 - Ah, thank you. - You're welcome, you're welcome. - Hey, don Giuseppe, if I become... 301 00:41:04,670 --> 00:41:09,000 -...a millionaire tomorrow, I won't need shoes from you anymore. - I wish, Vittoria, I'll be pleased with you... 302 00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:10,800 ...becoming a millionaire. - Good night and thank you once again. - Give a kiss to your children. 303 00:41:11,100 --> 00:41:17,730 Poor Vittoria, she has lost her head too this evening, poor woman... 304 00:41:22,500 --> 00:41:23,100 No, it's not for me. 305 00:41:24,270 --> 00:41:25,900 My poor mom used to say... 306 00:41:41,700 --> 00:41:42,900 Here's him, I've seen him... 307 00:41:48,125 --> 00:41:55,825 The martian eats and drinks together with the children, I must refer that to the Bishop, I've to go immediately... 308 00:41:56,825 --> 00:41:59,155 ...the martian...I've to hear the Bishop's words about that... 309 00:42:14,985 --> 00:42:18,385 - Have you heard what Verona team did? - No, what they did? - They lost the match 2-0 at home. 310 00:42:36,635 --> 00:42:42,535 - While you were away, we've won 2 games and drawn another one. - Fine. - It's your turn. 311 00:42:42,935 --> 00:42:43,700 It's your turn, sergeant. 312 00:42:47,350 --> 00:42:54,800 - I'm feeling bad...I'm feeling bad! - Let's help him to breathe, come on, mr accountant, let's untie his necktie... 313 00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:57,900 - Mr accountant, what's up with you? - I saw it! - What did you see? 314 00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:01,300 - Come on, mr accountant, come on. - I touched it by my own hands. - Let's take him outside. 315 00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:03,950 - It was warm! - What was warm? - Be quiet, mr accountant. 316 00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:07,720 - The flying saucer! - Hold him tight. - Where did you see it? 317 00:43:09,720 --> 00:43:15,400 - Close to a grassland, near the Storta bridge...I saw it, they're going to land... - Be careful with his head, be quick, come on... 318 00:43:16,980 --> 00:43:21,560 - The martians! I want to go to Rome! - So you'll compromise your future... - They told me that... 319 00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:25,549 - Hello, Fantuzzi, the accountant has got mad, come here immediately. -...I've got an important message... 320 00:43:26,249 --> 00:43:29,779 -...I've a witness... - Who's that witness? - It's Dolores. - My wife? 321 00:43:31,119 --> 00:43:33,715 - Yeah, your nice lady was together with me. - How ugly filthy woman! 322 00:43:35,415 --> 00:43:38,445 - The car, the car! - Dolores, my love, my great and immense love! 323 00:43:38,745 --> 00:43:41,385 - Let's go to hospital...hurry up otherwise he'll get totally mad...to hospital! - Dolores, I was forced... 324 00:43:56,245 --> 00:44:00,705 - You're hurting me... - No, I don't want to hurt you. - Yes, you're hurting me. 325 00:44:04,055 --> 00:44:06,705 - Dolores... - There isn't Dolores. -...take me away from here. 326 00:44:08,005 --> 00:44:12,145 - And the flying saucer? - I saw it by my own eyes! - Tell that you didn't see it! 327 00:44:12,345 --> 00:44:16,645 - Yeeah, I saw it! - So, tell me, how was that flying saucer? - Large, a silver one, full-hot! 328 00:44:16,845 --> 00:44:20,725 - Give him some bromide. - You're a fanatic! - Tell that you didn't see it,... 329 00:44:20,925 --> 00:44:25,355 -...tell that you didn't see it, you didn't see it, you didn't see it! - And now let's get down to an electro-shock! 330 00:44:25,555 --> 00:44:29,775 - You didn't see it! - Why do you want to convince me? I did see it! 331 00:44:29,975 --> 00:44:33,815 - You didn't see it! - Yeah, I did see it! - Persuade yourself that you didn't see it! 332 00:44:34,415 --> 00:44:38,075 - There was my lover too! - You don't have a lover. - Tell that you love your wife... 333 00:44:38,275 --> 00:44:42,922 -...you don't have a lover, understood? - I do have a lover, a beautiful one, I like and I desire her, it's you who doesn't have... 334 00:44:43,122 --> 00:44:46,500 -...a lover because you're ugly! - Power on! - And now tell me how the flying saucer was. 335 00:44:46,700 --> 00:44:52,840 - No, no, you didn't see it... - You didn't see it, you didn't see it, you didn't see it, persuade yourself you didn't see it... 336 00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:58,320 - You don't have a lover, tell that you love your wife... - You love your wife! You love your wife! 337 00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:04,020 - You don't have a lover, persuade yourself! - You're a fanatic, you've to forget! - Be quiet! - Forget everything! 338 00:45:32,540 --> 00:45:34,580 - Sergeant, take a look there. - What is there to look at? 339 00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:41,580 - Prints of a flying saucer. - Fantuzzi, speak when you're sure. 340 00:45:43,980 --> 00:45:55,190 - 1,2,3...1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12. - Well, 12, so it's always the same one, just like the other times. 341 00:45:55,390 --> 00:46:00,940 - Yes. If it happens to be under my rifle-range, on that occasion I'll shot it by my carbine. - Very well, Fantuzzi, do you shoot the martians? 342 00:46:01,740 --> 00:46:02,670 Let's go and see if other signs are over there. 343 00:46:06,870 --> 00:46:13,660 - Sergeant, little black balls have been spreaded all over here. - Where? These are olives made by a sheep! 344 00:46:29,260 --> 00:46:35,210 - There's another thing here I cannot understand. - Let me take a look. - This is a bra. 345 00:46:37,010 --> 00:46:40,010 - If there were martian women, huh? - What's up? Are you playing the fool? Come on, let's go. 346 00:46:43,925 --> 00:46:44,825 Please, sergeant, come in. 347 00:46:51,665 --> 00:46:53,535 - Good morning, madam. - Good morning. - Good morning, sergeant. 348 00:46:54,955 --> 00:46:59,860 - Can I help you? - A mere formality, but pay attention and weight up well your answers. 349 00:47:01,430 --> 00:47:06,170 - Where have you been yesterday evening since half past 21 to 22 o'clock? - My mother replies in my stead. 350 00:47:07,600 --> 00:47:12,420 - My daughter was at home, I'm quite surprised at you asking such questions. - You, be a bit quiet. 351 00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:17,520 - This under-garment, is it yours? - My mother replies in my stead. 352 00:47:18,310 --> 00:47:24,050 - My daughter doesn't need such supports, thank goodness, understood? - May I talk with your daughter in private? 353 00:47:25,730 --> 00:47:26,660 That's right. 354 00:47:35,680 --> 00:47:41,530 - Yesterday evening you were in the accountant's car, don Giuseppe, the priest, saw you. - I deny it. 355 00:47:41,730 --> 00:47:47,320 - And he heard even what you told each other... - What did we tell? 356 00:47:50,510 --> 00:47:52,850 - I cannot repeat those words... - Please speak... 357 00:47:54,990 --> 00:47:58,710 - The accountant recited some poems and you said... - What did I say? 358 00:47:59,670 --> 00:48:01,270 "Call me sleazy and filthy because I like it". 359 00:48:10,170 --> 00:48:13,800 Your lover has been taken to mental hospital, he will no longer go out if you don't affirm you saw the flying saucer together with him. 360 00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:17,200 I'm a normal woman and I didn't see anything. 361 00:48:19,170 --> 00:48:31,540 And moreover I'm fed up with these dreaming men, I want a normal man, a man who doesn't speak much and who makes the things, just like you... 362 00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:43,985 That's enough. I'd better go away. 363 00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:33,930 - Hey, where are you going? - I've to talk with mrs countess, it's an urgent thing. 364 00:49:36,130 --> 00:49:37,630 Clean your shoes before coming in. 365 00:49:41,460 --> 00:49:42,444 And don't walk on carpets. 366 00:49:59,304 --> 00:50:00,490 Wait here, don't move. 367 00:50:00,690 --> 00:50:03,890 But if you're not going to do baked-apples, what has it got to do with my mom? The party is for me. 368 00:50:04,090 --> 00:50:07,300 Abound with foods because we're going to get a lot of people this evening. What's up with the cakes? 369 00:50:07,500 --> 00:50:08,500 And the profiteroles? 370 00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:12,740 - Castagnole and frappe. - Phew! - The countess ordered us not to do the profiteroles. 371 00:50:12,940 --> 00:50:18,480 - Phew! This mom of mine! Phew! Aren't you that Vittoria Laconiglia with the children? - Yes, I am. 372 00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:23,400 - How nice they are, very nice children. - Forget them, sir count. - What are you doing here Vittoria? 373 00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:28,400 - I'm waiting for your mother, the countess. - Huh, come on, you too! But are you beggars doing it on purpose? 374 00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:35,100 You use to come here the last day of Carnival, then we are told to treat you badly, but it's you who want to be treated badly, couldn't you come... 375 00:50:35,300 --> 00:50:40,150 -...here tomorrow to grab the left-overs? - No thank you, sir count, I no longer need them, I got a stroke of luck... - It's a little bit acid, isn't it? 376 00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:43,000 ...I found a martian... 377 00:50:46,440 --> 00:50:48,460 - And what are you going to do with him? - Well, I'm going to sell him to your mother. 378 00:50:49,580 --> 00:50:52,500 Please come with me for a while, come darling, come on. 379 00:50:53,790 --> 00:50:54,120 Come in. 380 00:50:58,400 --> 00:51:02,370 - But also you, blessed, come on, you got a martian and you want to give him to my mom! - Whom should I sell him to? 381 00:51:02,670 --> 00:51:06,990 - Whom!? Damn! You've to give him to me of course! - But, sir count, you've no money, your mother has deprived you of it. 382 00:51:07,190 --> 00:51:12,120 But who the hell is telling you such things? All these things are made up by you! Yes, I'm deprived but I've got a lot of stuff indeed,... 383 00:51:12,320 --> 00:51:16,170 ...you know, jewels, bonds, look how nice is this trinket, that is all the stuff whose I'am the legitimate owner. 384 00:51:17,060 --> 00:51:20,700 - I'm sorry, mr count, but I'd like to deal in with your mother. - You're a stubborn peasant indeed! 385 00:51:20,900 --> 00:51:24,450 - Hey you, the countess is sleeping, come back here after the Carnival. - That's right. - Let's go in there, come on. 386 00:51:24,750 --> 00:51:25,950 Come, darling, come on. 387 00:51:28,150 --> 00:51:28,850 Come, darling, come on. 388 00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:35,010 Wanda, leave us alone because I've to talk with this peasant, go in there but anyway don't tell my mom where I'm. 389 00:51:36,650 --> 00:51:40,720 That bitch is gossipy, that Wanda cannot keep her mouth closed, she's my best friend. 390 00:51:41,220 --> 00:51:44,090 - Take a seat, darling, sit down, please sit down...- Here? - Sit down, don't be afraid... 391 00:51:45,570 --> 00:51:48,250 Come on, tell me, but why do you want to take that martian to my mom? 392 00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:51,190 - They told me she can buy them. - And how much do you think she is going to pay for them? 393 00:51:51,390 --> 00:51:54,250 Well, listen to me sir count, she has to pay a bunch of millions to me. 394 00:51:54,650 --> 00:51:59,550 Well, you'll be unlucky with my mom about that, she uses to exploit ignorance, it's the peasants who take them to her... 395 00:51:59,750 --> 00:52:01,450 ...and she, such a coward, didn't let me even see them! 396 00:52:02,440 --> 00:52:04,950 - And what does she use to do with them? - She uses to strangle them and to throw them down in the well. 397 00:52:05,250 --> 00:52:06,450 - How poor them! - All the martians come to this bad end. 398 00:52:07,140 --> 00:52:13,200 - How poor them! But why does she strangle them? - I really don't know, maybe she's afraid they come and stir up the peasants against her... 399 00:52:13,500 --> 00:52:16,888 ...maybe she's afraid a revolution will be raised, she did this way also during the Resistance... 400 00:52:17,888 --> 00:52:21,928 - Do you remember what did she do with the partisans? - Yes, I remember, she gave them hospitality in the villa, she fed them. 401 00:52:22,128 --> 00:52:26,748 Yeah, she poisoned and threw them down in the well. I hate that coward woman! 402 00:52:27,555 --> 00:52:33,185 I was a partisan too! Excuse me, darling. Forget what you see, it's just a sleep strike. 403 00:52:34,645 --> 00:52:42,400 - Sir count, sir count! Sir count! Sir count! Sir count! - Who is? - Have you lost consciousness? - Nothing, darling, it's just an attack,.., 404 00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:45,750 -...I'm epileptic, my daddy too, would you like a bit of whiskey? - No, thanks, I don't want anything. - A candy? 405 00:52:46,880 --> 00:52:49,100 No, I don't want anything, I want to deal in because I want to sell that martian as soon as possible. 406 00:52:49,300 --> 00:52:53,320 - But I do buy this martian indeed, be quiet, I'm going to buy him. - Do you buy him? - Sure! 407 00:52:53,520 --> 00:52:58,320 - And how much do you pay? - But, darling, you should show him to me, ok? At least his look, tell me... 408 00:52:58,520 --> 00:53:01,670 -...a little more about him, how is this weird being, male or female? - Well, actually you cannot understand that well,... 409 00:53:01,870 --> 00:53:06,400 -...half a man and half a woman, anyway it's more man than woman. - I'm enormously interested in them, I'm... 410 00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:11,400 ...interested. And tell me more, what does he do? Can he speak, transmit, can he communicate? 411 00:53:11,600 --> 00:53:15,900 Well, yes sir count, he tries, he tries to communicate, he transmits some signals by his antenna... 412 00:53:16,100 --> 00:53:19,700 -...but I cannot understand anything. - And what do you want to understand? You're ignorant. - Indeed. 413 00:53:20,700 --> 00:53:26,180 These weird beings coming from other planets and landing on earth to communicate with us...who knows which... 414 00:53:26,380 --> 00:53:32,500 ...scientific secrets they're aware of, who knows, maybe they found the secret way to cure all the diseases, maybe they... 415 00:53:32,700 --> 00:53:37,300 ...could change the sexs, turning a man into a woman or a woman into a man, or make dogs speak, who knows? - Dogs too? 416 00:53:37,500 --> 00:53:42,100 They might have discovered an elixir of a long life so that you can live for 100, 200, 2000 years, who could... 417 00:53:42,300 --> 00:53:46,450 -...tell that, what do you know about that? Take this martian to me so that I'll make you rich. - May I go and take him? - Sure! 418 00:53:46,650 --> 00:53:49,222 - Immediately! - Listen, do the things accurately, don't tell anything to my mom. 419 00:53:49,422 --> 00:53:53,635 - I go and I'm coming back soon. - Excuse me, darling. Forget what you see. - Oh my God, mr count, one more time? 420 00:53:54,415 --> 00:53:57,895 - Yes, bye, see you later. - Ok. Holy cow, I hope he's not going to pass away right now. 421 00:54:18,385 --> 00:54:19,300 - Take a seat, please. - Thanks, Eminence. 422 00:54:21,050 --> 00:54:27,250 - But is this woman old? - No, she's young, Eminence, poor woman, she has got 7 children and lives in a hovel. 423 00:54:27,550 --> 00:54:34,000 She has got a bronchial catarrh and a brother-in-law who came out of prison, so I said to myself: "Now I'm coming in her... 424 00:54:34,200 --> 00:54:39,100 ...home". "No!", she said, otherwise people criticizes, criticizes... 425 00:54:39,900 --> 00:54:44,600 - So you looked at the window and you saw the martian. - I saw the martian, Eminence. 426 00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:51,500 - And what did the martian do? - He had got an antenna and he transmitted some messages to the children. 427 00:54:51,700 --> 00:54:56,230 I don't understand your uneases, my dear son, you mightn't see well, you might make a mistake... 428 00:54:56,430 --> 00:54:59,200 ...I know you use to drink some glasses of wine in addition, they even referred that to me... 429 00:55:00,950 --> 00:55:05,650 - I cannot deny that, Eminence, but how can someone refuse? - How can someone refuse?! Instead of going... 430 00:55:05,850 --> 00:55:11,900 ...for ride all over the night by your moped, stay in manse, tidy up yourself and go to bed early. 431 00:55:12,800 --> 00:55:18,200 I'm suffering from insomnia and anguish, I've got rheumatic pains and palpitations at my heart... 432 00:55:18,400 --> 00:55:23,520 ...when I'm lying down my bed, it might be because of polenta, but I can't get any air... 433 00:55:25,910 --> 00:55:30,000 You should take more care of your health and look after yourself, also your dressing. 434 00:55:31,050 --> 00:55:39,890 - What? You're without a sock? - A sock? No, it's nothing, Eminence... 435 00:55:40,190 --> 00:55:45,400 -...the sock slid into my shoe, I'm sorry. - I know what you need, my dear son. 436 00:55:48,400 --> 00:55:52,250 - What do I need, Eminence? - A good period of rest in a healthcare home, 437 00:55:52,450 --> 00:55:54,950 ...just as also the doctor suggested to you. 438 00:56:01,510 --> 00:56:02,000 Go, my dear. 439 00:56:23,800 --> 00:56:28,900 - It's Vittoria, the beggar, together with her brother-in-law. - I knew that, when the holidays come nearer... 440 00:56:29,100 --> 00:56:31,945 -...she uses to come and hold out the hat. - They are carrying something which I don't understand well. 441 00:56:46,185 --> 00:56:50,820 Here, let's put the load inside here, go carefully. Please, a little bit forward. 442 00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:57,500 Let's push, darling, let's push, that's right, here, in this little chapel, nobody will notice that. 443 00:56:57,900 --> 00:57:02,900 - Sir count, take a look at him, take a look at him. - No, don't let me see him, oh my God. 444 00:57:09,400 --> 00:57:13,500 - That's right, they're going away by the Rolls Royce. - Very well, now call immediately the sergeant. 445 00:57:21,400 --> 00:57:22,400 Go slowly so that people can take a look at me. 446 00:57:37,200 --> 00:57:39,830 - Sergeant... - Fantuzzi, but did Vittoria Laconiglia win the lottery? 447 00:57:41,660 --> 00:57:42,780 There's a call by the countess Crosara. 448 00:57:56,390 --> 00:58:01,130 Hello? Please, tell me, countess... I'm coming immediately. 449 00:58:16,400 --> 00:58:20,600 - Let's go, let's go, first the youngest ones... - Come on, children. 450 00:58:20,800 --> 00:58:22,530 Be quick, come on, come on. 451 00:58:24,730 --> 00:58:27,100 - Vittoria, what are we going to do with the pig? - Give him to the poors of the municipality,... 452 00:58:27,300 --> 00:58:33,340 -...they've the right to food too... - Vittoria, and what are we going to do with this house? 453 00:58:33,540 --> 00:58:38,250 Wait, now I'm going to shown you what I'm doing with it. 454 00:58:43,950 --> 00:58:45,600 - Watch out, wait. - Mom, what are you doing? - Look! 455 00:58:55,200 --> 00:58:58,900 - That's done! Let'go, let's go, let's go away. - Well done, Vittoria, you did the right thing! 456 00:59:00,100 --> 00:59:03,100 - Very well, the right thing is to set fire to it! - Goodbye, I will never see it again. 457 00:59:06,500 --> 00:59:07,300 - Where are we going no? - Now we're going to a hotel. 458 00:59:13,900 --> 00:59:18,680 Stop, stop, stop, stop! Holy cow, I forgot the most important thing. 459 00:59:22,800 --> 00:59:23,500 Damn, what a smoke! 460 00:59:34,200 --> 00:59:34,800 Here they are! 461 00:59:39,500 --> 00:59:42,800 Stop! Halt there! Everybody get out of this car! Everybody get out! 462 00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:45,050 - You, the children, too! - The carabinieri! - Out of there, get out! 463 00:59:45,150 --> 00:59:47,900 - What do you want from us? - The car, the fur, the jewels, the bonds, where did you hide them? 464 00:59:48,100 --> 00:59:52,040 - Come on! Get out all the stuff! - All the stuff is inside there, why? 465 00:59:54,040 --> 00:59:56,440 - I must requisition everything, the countess Crosara has denounced you for fraud and con trick... 466 00:59:56,640 --> 00:59:59,980 -...to the detriment of her son the count. - But which fraud and con trick? I sold a martian to him. 467 01:00:00,180 --> 01:00:02,950 - The countess Crosara denies the martian's existence. - And her son? 468 01:00:03,100 --> 01:00:07,100 - Mr count isn't in the full possession of his mental faculties. - But I've got a witness. - Who is he? 469 01:00:07,300 --> 01:00:10,850 - Him! - It's me, it's me who took the martian personally to the count. 470 01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:13,130 - Who are you? - I'm her brother-in-law. - No, no, the brother-in-law may not... 471 01:00:13,330 --> 01:00:20,000 -...witness, especially you, being even recividist. - He may be recividist, but not the children, they are innocent creatures and their testimony can be... 472 01:00:20,200 --> 01:00:24,200 -...of some value, isn't it? - Since they are aware of the martian's presence? - And how! They ate together with him! 473 01:00:25,200 --> 01:00:30,200 - If they ate together with a martian, their testimony is decisive. - Did you listen to that? Think the... 474 01:00:30,400 --> 01:00:36,500 ...situation out, our home is burning, the pig has died of fright this night, we're facing a catastrophe, did you understand? 475 01:00:36,700 --> 01:00:43,500 A catastrophe. Our richness or poverty depends on you, on your answer, did you understand? 476 01:00:43,700 --> 01:00:47,500 - Yes. - Answer well! - Go ahead, sergeant. 477 01:00:48,100 --> 01:00:52,050 Children, everything depends on you, yesterday evening there was a martian in your home? 478 01:00:54,350 --> 01:00:57,850 - Fantuzzi, take the brother-in-law, I'm taking the woman... - How come!? Tell the truth, sons of a bitch! 479 01:00:58,000 --> 01:00:58,800 Undress the fur, you. 480 01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:02,100 - No... - What's up? -...this is mine! 481 01:01:02,300 --> 01:01:03,400 - Is a count's geranium this one? - No, it's mine! 482 01:01:06,900 --> 01:01:08,500 What? My brother-in-law too? 483 01:01:11,550 --> 01:01:12,250 Let's go, Fantuzzi. 484 01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:15,800 Let's go, come on, before they lock up all of us. 485 01:01:31,200 --> 01:01:36,000 And now that we're alone in a desert, there was a martian in your home the past night? 486 01:01:38,000 --> 01:01:38,800 Go to hell! 487 01:01:51,700 --> 01:01:52,700 Oh my God! I set fire to my home! 488 01:01:58,150 --> 01:02:05,150 I must go away because my health is not so excellent, as the doctors say. 489 01:02:09,450 --> 01:02:15,450 - Goodbye Bepi. - Goodbye. - Another priest will come, a handsome... 490 01:02:15,650 --> 01:02:17,650 -...and elegant one who will settle all of us. - You're right, you're right. 491 01:02:21,650 --> 01:02:23,020 Some people are happy that... 492 01:02:25,500 --> 01:02:33,100 ...I'm leaving, there's a person criticizing and sending anonymous letters to the Bishop because... 493 01:02:33,300 --> 01:02:38,800 ...my shoes are broken...and our Lord Jesus Christ who walked on water without shoes and socks, poor him! 494 01:02:41,000 --> 01:02:45,500 - Are we going to criticize him too? - Don Giuseppe, here's a bottle of wine. - Thank you. - Drink it to our health. 495 01:02:46,500 --> 01:02:53,500 This is a gift I'm enjoying wholeheartedly. A glass of wine and eating together with friends... 496 01:02:54,900 --> 01:03:01,700 ...and not being taken to a clinic to heal...they're taking me to a clinic... - Don Giuseppe, are you leaving without your suitcase? 497 01:03:03,100 --> 01:03:07,050 - That suitcase is useless to me, I'm bearing all that I have. - And what's inside it? 498 01:03:08,350 --> 01:03:15,950 Beans, potatoes, a bit of flour, bring this stuff to that widow having 7 children, poor woman, winter is long. 499 01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:18,000 Jesus Christ be praised. 500 01:03:26,800 --> 01:03:31,990 Goodbye, don Giuseppe. Come back soon. - See you soon, don Giuseppe. 501 01:03:54,750 --> 01:03:57,750 MASKED NIGHT PARTY 502 01:04:34,550 --> 01:04:37,050 Don't obstruct the transit, pay attention, halt! 503 01:04:34,550 --> 01:04:37,050 Don't obstruct the transit, pay attention, halt! 504 01:04:34,550 --> 01:04:37,050 Don't obstruct the transit, pay attention, halt! 505 01:04:38,050 --> 01:04:42,900 Go ahead, you! Be quiet, be quiet! Let the car pass through. 506 01:04:43,150 --> 01:04:47,700 Slowly and gently, don't hurt yourselves, slowly, don't play the fool. 507 01:05:03,200 --> 01:05:06,500 Be quiet, quiet. Don't hurt yourselves, be calm. 508 01:05:19,900 --> 01:05:21,650 Don't play the fool, you beefy, walk away. 509 01:05:23,400 --> 01:05:24,222 Come on, blonde, come with me. 510 01:05:47,600 --> 01:05:51,320 Don't crowd together into the porch, walk away for a while. Be careful with the bangers. 511 01:05:55,100 --> 01:05:57,650 - Good evening, lawyer. - Good evening, sergeant. - What's up with you? Aren't you feeling good? 512 01:05:58,450 --> 01:06:00,650 - Listen, sergeant, I'm going to tell you a thing but I'll disown it immediately. - What do you mean? What happened? 513 01:06:00,790 --> 01:06:08,690 - My car stopped at the Storta bridge ten minutes ago, and do you know what I saw? - A flying saucer. - Yes, and also I saw... 514 01:06:08,790 --> 01:06:13,800 -...a little group of martians coming to the vilage. - So, who's that woman? - I told you that but I'm going to disown it, understood? 515 01:06:14,000 --> 01:06:15,400 - I don't want to get troubles. - So, she isn't disguised. 516 01:06:19,100 --> 01:06:20,400 - Fantuzzi, Fantuzzi, where did the martian woman go? - Here's her, sergeant. 517 01:06:20,600 --> 01:06:22,800 Carabiniere, pursue that girl dressed like as a martian! 518 01:06:23,000 --> 01:06:24,700 Find some information about her! Take her to our headquarters! 519 01:06:26,700 --> 01:06:28,320 - Sergeant, there's a call for you. - Don't let her run away. 520 01:06:37,020 --> 01:06:38,210 Now at the phone, all the things are going to happen this evening! 521 01:06:43,750 --> 01:06:44,450 Hello? 522 01:06:46,650 --> 01:06:47,250 At villa Crosara? 523 01:07:01,250 --> 01:07:04,600 - Fantuzzi, a call from villa Crosara. - The countess? - It was anonymous. An old woman's voice. 524 01:07:13,300 --> 01:07:17,900 We've caught her, she has no papers and she doesn't want to speak. Come on, get out of there. Put her in prison. 525 01:07:22,600 --> 01:07:23,300 Bye bye, blond, bye. 526 01:07:31,120 --> 01:07:35,500 - But, sergeant, have you a search warrant? - Fantuzzi, I'm not having good times being a sergeant at all. 527 01:07:36,500 --> 01:07:38,100 I'm just doing what I can do, but I use to get at the bottom of something. 528 01:07:38,300 --> 01:07:40,800 - Take and hold it. And don't move. - Ok, sergeant. 529 01:07:46,400 --> 01:07:51,300 - Beatrice, dismount. - No, I don't dismount at all. - Beatrice, I'm saying to you: "Dismount". 530 01:07:51,500 --> 01:07:56,050 - No, I don't dismount at all. - "Dismount", I'm saying to you. - No, because I like it. 531 01:09:08,400 --> 01:09:09,380 - What's up? - Sergeant, what are you doing here? 532 01:09:10,380 --> 01:09:13,980 - I'm doing some investigations. - I'm sorry but I cannot help you. - Why? Maybe it's you who should authorize me? 533 01:09:15,280 --> 01:09:18,180 - Who are you? An owner or a butler? - I'm a butler. - So, accompany me to the countess... 534 01:09:18,380 --> 01:09:20,300 ...how dare you to call me by a touch of your finger!? Do you know I can shove you in prison? 535 01:09:38,680 --> 01:09:40,750 - A drink, sergeant? - Are you playing the fool? 536 01:09:53,250 --> 01:09:56,500 - May I come in? - Come in, sergeant. - Good evening, countess. 537 01:10:12,500 --> 01:10:13,950 - Take a seat, sergeant. - Thank you, countess. 538 01:10:16,010 --> 01:10:18,550 - She's my son's girlfriend. - I didn't know he was engaged. 539 01:10:19,600 --> 01:10:22,570 - Would you like to drink a glass of wine? - Since you're just insisting, I'd like to drink half a glass. 540 01:10:23,450 --> 01:10:27,750 - Tell me, sergeant, I'd like... - Thank you. -...to know which person sent you... 541 01:10:27,950 --> 01:10:31,700 -...here at this hour of the night. - I received an anonymous call and so I rushed here. 542 01:10:31,900 --> 01:10:38,500 Instead of going hunting ghosts inside my park and without a search warrant, why don't go to my peasants and frisk them? 543 01:10:38,700 --> 01:10:45,300 - They are stealing even my shirt. - Excuse me, countess, if you're trying to frighten me, I'm telling you... 544 01:10:45,500 --> 01:10:52,250 -...immediately you're not thrilling me. - No, no threats, but since we're alone and without a witness, I'm telling you... 545 01:10:52,550 --> 01:10:53,330 ...I can reach very high by a phone call, ok? 546 01:10:56,570 --> 01:10:57,270 Sit down here, sergeant. 547 01:11:14,070 --> 01:11:14,870 No, I'm not Tony. 548 01:11:19,700 --> 01:11:20,300 What are you doing now? 549 01:11:47,000 --> 01:11:47,900 I'm sorry but I'm not Tony. 550 01:13:14,350 --> 01:13:17,440 - Are they having good times, sergeant? - Why do you take care of that? Let's go, Fantuzzi. 551 01:13:26,750 --> 01:13:30,200 Sergeant, there's the commander on the phone, he has already been calling for 3 times. 552 01:13:33,750 --> 01:13:37,550 - Hello? - Hello. - Yes, commander. 553 01:13:37,850 --> 01:13:40,550 - Who did authorize you to enter the Crosara villa? - Has the countess already call you? 554 01:13:40,850 --> 01:13:44,700 - Yes and she's right because you may not enter without a search warrant. - What to do? Must I request a search warrant? 555 01:13:44,900 --> 01:13:49,550 - For which reason? - There's a naked countess on a horse, there're some women dancing together and a woman even kissed me. 556 01:13:49,750 --> 01:13:53,730 - Then? - The count Momi danced a tango together with a weird being. - Who is he? 557 01:13:53,930 --> 01:13:57,230 - A martian. - And how is he? - If I'm not wrong, he's a nigger with... 558 01:13:57,430 --> 01:13:59,770 -...yellow boots. - Excuse me, sergeant, you know that the martians don't exist. 559 01:14:00,000 --> 01:14:04,440 - So why did you make me investigate? - In order to demonstrate they don't exist. - So what to do? Must I stop investigations? 560 01:14:04,640 --> 01:14:08,960 Do just like as you want, provided that you won't make me get some troubles, ok, did you understand? 561 01:14:09,800 --> 01:14:10,700 Yes, commander, at your beck and call. 562 01:14:11,950 --> 01:14:12,200 I don't understand... 563 01:14:16,400 --> 01:14:23,900 Hello? Villa Crosara? Are you still the anonymous one? What's up now? A martian in the garden? Dead or alive? 564 01:14:25,100 --> 01:14:27,666 They want to throw him down the well? Really? Listen, old woman, do you know... 565 01:14:27,866 --> 01:14:31,360 ...what it may happen if I catch you while playing these jokes? I'll shove you in prison! 566 01:14:37,740 --> 01:14:42,280 Now they are bringing him...here's now they have just thrown him down in the well. 567 01:14:48,350 --> 01:14:53,710 - What are we saying to mr count tomorrow? - Don't take care of that, now he's sleeping. - Tomorrow he will have forgotten him. 568 01:15:02,800 --> 01:15:10,650 Concluding these accurate investigations, we find that the 3 rumoured martians are a result of ill fantasies due to... 569 01:15:10,850 --> 01:15:21,140 ...alcoholism, sexual dissatisfaction, political exaltation and mostly a desire of visibility, exhibitionism and speaking on TV... 570 01:15:24,440 --> 01:15:30,970 ...infact no one martian, neither dead neither alive, has been found, and the same can be said about the alarming messages... 571 01:15:31,170 --> 01:15:39,570 -...they might have give to the human kind. - And the martian woman? - As to the martian woman, provided with... 572 01:15:39,770 --> 01:15:52,000 ...glass boobs, we find that she's a masked girl from the town, having no papers and refusing to take off her glass helmet to let her identify... 573 01:15:52,200 --> 01:16:03,840 ...she will enter the provincial prisons and she will answer for resisting arrest and gross indecency. Signed Sergeant Vincenzo Berruti. 574 01:16:29,180 --> 01:16:32,500 - So what? What happened Fantuzzi? - It's not powered, sergeant. 575 01:16:32,700 --> 01:16:34,440 - So what to do? - I'm afraid that the battery has discharged. 576 01:16:34,640 --> 01:16:36,450 - Run, hurry! - I'm coming back in 10 minutes. 577 01:16:39,660 --> 01:16:40,360 The battery has discharged. 578 01:20:25,670 --> 01:20:28,850 Come here, I'm catching you. What are you doing? Are you escaping from me? 579 01:20:31,250 --> 01:20:37,410 Where are you getting in now? Are you going into there? Come here. 580 01:20:39,130 --> 01:20:39,930 Where are you going to hide? 581 01:21:02,460 --> 01:21:05,020 Certainly! Certainly, be sure of that! 582 01:21:21,920 --> 01:21:29,080 - Sergeant! Where are you sergeant? - I'm here, Fantuzzi. - What happened? 583 01:21:29,280 --> 01:21:32,550 The flying saucer, I have spoken to martians, where's the car? 584 01:21:33,550 --> 01:21:36,450 I got an important message I have to communicate to the human kind, hurry, run! 585 01:21:52,540 --> 01:21:55,540 And in a hurry they took me to communicate the message. 586 01:21:58,280 --> 01:22:05,530 But instead of a message I got a massage, they put a white beanie on my head and they made me get an electro-shock... 587 01:22:08,000 --> 01:22:14,020 -...the same destiny happened to the accountant and telegraph operator,... -...to give life a meaning can lead you... 588 01:22:14,220 --> 01:22:19,460 -...to madness... -...to the poor don Giuseppe,... - Let's care for each other, holy mackerel. 589 01:22:20,750 --> 01:22:24,400 ...and to the count Momi, who threw his mother down in the well and came here by his own free will... 590 01:22:24,600 --> 01:22:26,580 ...I'm feeling so good here at the mental hospital, there's a lot of understanding... 591 01:22:27,280 --> 01:22:33,000 Me, who used to obey silently and silently to die, it has been 4 years since I'm inside here, where, they... 592 01:22:33,200 --> 01:22:40,680 ...try to persuade me that I got mad by incredible tortures, but, since I'm not mad, I wrote my memorials... 593 01:22:40,880 --> 01:22:47,110 ...but, not being this a sufficient evidence in order to be reliable, I'm asking all the people who cared for me... 594 01:22:47,310 --> 01:22:54,400 ...and knew me in the line of my duty, the blameless ones and the jailbirds, if you'll meet a martian one day by any chance,... 595 01:22:54,600 --> 01:22:58,700 ...for writing to me immediately at the following address: ex Sergeant... 596 01:22:58,900 --> 01:23:04,150 ...Vincenzo Berruti, Saint Ubaldo's mental hospital, province of Treviso, flying saucers unit. 597 01:23:20,000 --> 01:23:24,800 THE END 70607

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