All language subtitles for The.Crown.S02E02

[TROPICAL BIRDS SINGING]

[CHILDREN CHATTERING]

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

[MIKE] My dear Baron...

Come on, boys!

[MIKE] ...my dear fellow members...

- [SHIP'S HORN BLOWS]
- [MAN] Sir.

[MIKE] ...we're now well into
the first leg of our tour.

At ease.

[WHISTLING]

[MIKE] The Duke and I flew out
and joined the yacht in Mombasa.

- [PHILIP] How do you do?
- Very good, sir.

[MIKE] From there, we
departed for Ceylon

via the heavenly Seychelles.

Then through the beautiful Malayan
states and on to New Guinea.

Because the Duke isn't
much one for ceremony,

preferring sport and competition
to dinners and speeches,

everywhere we've gone, we've had
our own small-scale Olympics.

- Heave!
- [MIKE] Come on, boys!

[ALL GRUNTING]

We have a number of
gifted athletes on board:

runners, rowers, footballers.

And we've pipped the locals pretty
much everywhere we've been.

- [DRUMS PLAYING]
- [CHEERING]

But in New Guinea, I'm afraid,
we really met our match.

Get up!

[MIKE] Thankfully, there
is always cricket...

[PHILIP] Come on, Aldrich!

Hooray!

[MIKE] Where we can be relied upon

to get our revenge.

Bowled!

- Howzat!
- Yes!

[MIKE] Mainly because cricket as a sport

has never been seen
before in New Guinea.

[CHUCKLES]

At night, the adventures continue.

On royal tours in the past, when
the Queen has been present,

the evenings have been polite occasions,

with everyone on best behavior.

[CLUB MEMBERS CHEERING]

"Not this time.

Philip, as you all know,

is a work-hard-play-hard man

who would never stand in
the way of a bit of fun.

- [BOISTEROUS LAUGHTER]
- And in New Guinea, as it turns out,

there's no such thing as infidelity.

[CLUB MEMBERS CHEERING
AND THUMPING TABLES]

Men are expected to indulge.

[TRIBESWOMEN SINGING]

[BARON] By the end of this tour,

I think we'll be able to make
a qualitative assessment

about where the finest women
in the world come from.

But now, however, I can tell you

the women of New Guinea are
sweeter than those of Ceylon

and right up there with those of Malaya!

[CLUB MEMBERS CHEERING]

I have shared these secrets
with you in good faith.

The contents must, like all disclosures

of the Thursday Club, remain secret.

Ninety percent of the
officers on board are married

and would kill me if they
knew what I was writing!

[RAUCOUS CHEERING]

Strict non-disclosure policies apply.

What happens on tour stays on tour.

But rest assured,

I will keep you updated on
our forthcoming adventures.

[CLUB MEMBERS] Oh!

I sense this will be a momentous
and eventful tour indeed.

Ever your fellow member, Mike!"

[RAUCOUS CHEERING]

[SHOUTING]

We put our trust in our ruling class.

We put this great
country in their hands!

And what do they do?

How do they pay back our trust?

By taking us into an illegal
war under false pretenses!

A shameful, dishonest misadventure!

[CHEERING]

Murderers!

[MAN] You! What about
that? Bloody disgrace!

Dragging us all into ruin! Bastard!

[MOUNTBATTEN] The invasion
has been a disaster,

the UN General Assembly's up in arms,

as are the Americans.

As a result, our Prime
Minister has had no option

but to declare an immediate
ceasefire and retreat.

Without taking back the Suez Canal.

- Quite.
- So it's all been for nothing?

No, rather worse than nothing.

Economically, the drain on our
currency reserves has been so ruinous

that we now face a run on sterling.

- The energy situation is just as bad.
- [QUEEN MOTHER SIGHS]

Panic buying has been
reported at petrol stations,

and... we expect fuel rationing to

become necessary as we move into winter.

It is no exaggeration
to say this has been

the worst week for the
country since 1939.

The peace and consensus left by
your dear father has gone...

and our reputation for
decency and integrity

- in matters of foreign policy
- [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

Has been shattered.

What is it?

The Duke of Edinburgh is on
the telephone, Your Majesty.

Hm? Goodness, that's a first. [LAUGHS]

- From New Guinea, ma'am.
- Oh.

- Sorry, do excuse me.
- [MOUNTBATTEN] Of course.

- Give him my best.
- Say hello.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Hello?

[PHILIP] Hello?

Hello. Hello, Philip.

[LINE CRACKLING]

Hello? Can you hear me?

Yes, yes, I can hear you.

I can't hear you.

Can you hear me?

Yes. I can hear you.

- Uh... hello?
- [LINE CRACKLING]

Elizabeth?

Can you hear me?

Philip.

Oh.

[MIKE] Ready for you, sir.

[PHILIP] Damn telephones.

- Bloody things.
- [MIKE] This is why I don't bother.

[BOTH LAUGH]

[MAN OVER PA] Assemble on
deck for the morning address.

[CREW CHATTERING]

At ease, gentlemen.

Well, our adventure is
only two weeks old,

and it's already taken
us nearly 20,000 miles

as we travel the far
corners of the world...

in an attempt to repair the
reputation of our country,

currently being ruined by politicians.

[LAUGHING]

I would like to thank
each and every one of you

for your professionalism

and discipline. You have
all been brilliant.

All, that is, except for
the football team...

- [LAUGHING]
- whose shoddy, leaky defense

and absence of a natural
left-sided player,

led to that rather humiliating
defeat by the Seamen's Club,

of all bloody people,
at Port Swettenham.

[LAUGHING]

I should also like to
say, if I may, Admiral...

Yes, sir.

It's been wonderful for me, on a
personal level, to be back at sea.

The Royal Navy has always occupied
a very special place in my life

and, indeed, in my heart.

There are few greater pleasures in life

than serving on a ship such as this.

That's why it's also
very difficult to leave,

but leave I must and fly to Melbourne
to open the Olympics there,

where I must generally behave myself,

- shake a few hands, cut a few ribbons.
- [LAUGHING]

It will be hell, I can assure you.

And I will be counting the minutes

until you come and pick me up again

and we can continue our great adventure.

Now, in the meantime, behave yourselves,

keep fit...

and don't drink all the bloody beer.

[LAUGHING]

[MAN] Well said, sir.

[PHILIP] Well done, boys.
Well done, big man.

Good stuff. Thank you very much.

Well done. Well done. Well done.

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

[LAUGHING]

[PHILIP] It's so depressing,
this Suez business.

Well, don't read about it then.

I can't help myself.
What were they thinking?

- Shall we look at this schedule?
- [PHILIP] Will that cheer me up?

Probably not, no.

I've been stripping things
out wherever I can,

but it's still pretty hectic.

We start with a uranium mine
visit in the Northern Territory.

- Yippee.
- Agricultural parades in Sydney,

then over to a British Empire Service
League conference in Canberra.

And finally garden parties
at Government House.

- [PHILIP] Joy.
- But...

I've come up with a stock speech

which you can memorize like a mynah bird

and deliver each step of the way.

[PHILIP] Australia.

The name itself conjures
up such romantic images

of progress, ambition and possibility.

It is said that the mark of any
great nation is the journey

- it has endured on its path to glory.
- [LAUGHING]

And what a journey Australia has taken.

[PHILIP] Oh, I see. So
that's the smelter.

From those early European explorers
who landed at your shores,

you've endured great
hardship and crisis.

Less independently-minded
nations would've faltered,

sought support from the parent nation...

once so integral to their governance.

But Australia forged onwards.

[CATTLE LOWING]

Like its rugged and, at
times, unforgiving landscape,

Australia showed true
strength, true mettle.

You have admirably

developed every branch of
your life and culture...

and in just 200 years, have grown into

a unique and individual civilization,

which, I am sure, will rank among

the greatest that the world has seen.

[CROWD APPLAUDING]

Australia!

- Excellent speech.
- Good man.

Her name's Helen King.

Twenty-nine years old,
writes for The Age,

one of the most prominent
newspapers here.

She's asked to meet you.

Let's meet her.

What for?

An interview.

Oh, I thought we'd
decided no interviews.

We did, but in her case, I find
myself moved to make an exception.

- You saw the way she was looking at me?
- Yes.

You don't think I'm being delusional?
Gentleman's radar and all that.

No.

Not to mention the way she's followed us

every step of the tour. No...

I think we can safely assume this
one's a friend, not an enemy.

[LAUGHS]

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ON TELEVISION]

[MAN ON TELEVISION] The car
carrying His Royal Highness,

the Duke of Edinburgh,

makes its way out onto
the splendid red track

here on this pleasant
afternoon in Melbourne.

The crowds are ecstatic as they get
their first glimpse of the Duke,

who is reported to be greatly
enjoying his time here in Australia.

And now we're nearly there as the Duke

takes his place in the Royal Box.

[APPLAUSE ON TELEVISION]

I declare open the Olympic
Games of Melbourne...

celebrating the 16th
Olympiad of the modern era.

[CROWD CHEERING]

[QUEEN MOTHER] He looks happy.

For once.

[MAN ON TELEVISION] The Duke
smiles as thunderous applause

and thousands of cheers...

- Yes. Very happy.
- From the excited spectators

reverberates around the crowded stadium.

You can thank me for
that. It was my idea.

I always knew it was a good
idea to let him shine. Alone.

What a magnificent moment.

Yes, thank you, Mommy.

In ancient Greece, the
beginning of the Games

was heralded by the
homing of the pigeons,

and so too today.

Ready?

- [JULIE] Yes.
- [MICHAEL] Yes.

- [SECRETARY] Mrs. Parker. This way.
- Yes.

Wait here.

[MAN] Mrs. Parker. How can I help?

I'd like to separate from my
husband. Better still, divorce.

Do you mind me asking, on what grounds?

The fact I never see him.

Absence isn't a legal
ground for divorce.

Neglect?

Nor that, I'm afraid. You're going
to need one of the big three:

Adultery, unreasonable
behavior or insanity.

I'm quite sure there has been adultery.

We will need evidence.

That won't be easy.

Because of his job.

- Mike works for the Duke of Edinburgh.
- In what capacity?

His private secretary.

Oh, I see.

He's also his closest friend.
They're virtually inseparable.

Are you really sure about this?

A divorce can leave a
woman quite isolated.

Maybe things will get
better if you stick it out.

I tend to think that's always
the best way for everyone.

Grass is rarely greener.

I will come back when I have evidence.

[DOOR OPENS]

- [EVANS] You're taking pethidine?
- [EDEN] Yes.

[EVANS] And the pentobarbitone?

Yes, I'm taking the pentobarbitone,

but it doesn't work.

I need something stronger.

There is nothing stronger.

The fact is, in terms of pharmacology,
we've gone as far as we can.

[ELIZABETH] I have the greatest sympathy

for your condition, Prime Minister.

And I fully understand
the need for rest...

but given the challenges that
are now facing this country,

you don't feel that you
have a responsibility

to execute your duties
just a little longer?

I asked the physician the same
question, ma'am, but he insisted.

He felt that I was at the very
limit of human endurance.

But the country will be in safe hands.

Mr. Butler will take
charge in my absence.

Mr. Head will oversee the withdrawal
of our troops from Egypt,

and Mr. Macmillan will oversee
the... economic situation.

Economic crisis.

How long do you imagine you'll be away?

Not long, ma'am.

A few weeks.

Well, I suppose one can always
reach you at short notice.

It's a point I always make
to my private secretaries.

Yes, I'm away, but Windsor
really is just round the corner.

And Norfolk, too.

County Durham, isn't it?

Your family home.

Jamaica, ma'am.

Your family home?

Where the doctor felt I should be going.

He specified Jamaica?

He specified sunshine,
tropical sunshine.

He said he felt my life
might depend on it.

What would he prescribe for the
rest of us... do you imagine?

Prime Minister.

Your Majesty.

[BELL RINGS]

[DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[CHATTERING]

[EILEEN] Excuse me! Excuse me!

You work in there, don't you?

At the Thursday Club as a waitress?

- Who's asking?
- My name is Eileen.

Do you have a minute?

Uh, what can I do for you?

I'd like you to tell me
what goes on... inside.

- Are you a reporter or something?
- No, no, nothing like that.

Just a wife of one of the members
and mother to his children.

You may know him, his name is Mike.

There are so many gentlemen.

Mike Parker.

You do know him, don't you?

Mike would've made sure of
that. You're just his type.

Look, one day you will be married too,

and I sincerely hope that
you make a good choice.

But if you don't and you meet
a man who makes you unhappy,

then, as a woman, I would wish for you

to be able to leave that
man easily, painlessly.

So if there is anything you can tell me

that might make my leaving easier...

I'm sorry, Mrs. Parker, but I
know nothing of your husband.

Here is my address and telephone number.

Excuse me. Coming through here.

[EILEEN] Just...

If anything should occur to you.

[SIGHS]

[CHATTERING]

- We need two more martinis.
- All right.

[MAN LAUGHING]

[MAN] Lily! Lily! Lily!

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

[KNOCKS ON DOOR]

- Martin.
- Do you have a minute, Michael?

I think it's important.

Come in.

I'm going to ask you to
go through it again.

Yes. The provenance of this
rumor is quite arcane.

- Your sister...
- Sister-in-law.

Had lunch with her aunt, who had
just spent the weekend at...

Cholmondeley Castle.

At which, one of the other
guests was the bridge partner...

Tennis.

Of the solicitor visited
by Eileen Parker.

I think that's it.

That's half Britain already.

And all of these people now know
Mrs. Parker... is seeking a divorce?

- [SECRETARIES CHATTERING]
- Yes.

That's unfortunate.

It'll be hard to contain.

And what are Mrs. Parker's...

grievances?

Neglect, unreasonable behavior...

and... infidelity.

Just a wife's suspicions,
nothing concrete,

but I believe specific mention
was made of a lunch club

where Lieutenant Commander Parker
and the Duke of Edinburgh are...

Don't tell me. Frequent guests.

Actually, founder members.

Keep an eye on this for me, would you?

A close eye.

- [SECRETARY 1] Three carbon copies.
- [SECRETARY 2] Will do.

[SECRETARY 1] Thank you.

- Here we go.
- Madam.

- Mind your step.
- Thank you very much.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

- Ready, sir?
- [PHILIP] Certainly am.

His Royal Highness, the
Duke of Edinburgh.

- Thank you for seeing me, sir.
- Not at all.

Well, um, just bear with me while
I put my things down and set up.

- Please.
- Thank you.

I'm just going to put a microphone here.

Can I help?

No, it's fine, thank you.

[BUTTONS CLICKING]

Right, I think that's it.

Right, well, I'll, uh... I'll
leave you two to it, then.

Thank you, Michael. Please.

[HELEN] Thank you.

Ah. Ready when you are.

Well, we can't really start
without passing comment

on the situation in Egypt and
the international response.

Why?

Huge demonstrations on
the streets of London,

Eden caving in to international
pressure and calling a ceasefire.

You don't think it's a significant
moment for your country?

Perhaps, but I'm not going
to pass comment on that.

- Why not?
- It's not my job.

It's not what members
of the royal family do.

You must have thoughts about it.

Of course, I'm not a vegetable, but...

my thoughts on issues like
that remain a private matter.

One can't help wondering where it leaves

Britain's place in the world.

Well, I'm sure Britain will be fine.

The view from over here is that
Britain has been publicly humiliated.

Oh.

As someone with surprisingly
progressive views,

that must concern you.

I have progressive views?

You don't think that you do?

Televising the coronation?

Advocating modernization?

That's just common sense.

If you're a progressive, one
prepared to make changes.

Well, let's just say that
I learned very early on

that it's wise not to
take things for granted.

You're referring to your family.

How they had to leave
Greece in the revolution.

Your grandfather was shot, your
father fled to avoid being shot.

[CLEARS THROAT] Yes. Correct.

Well, you see, there's so much

that people don't really know about you.

I can assure you it's all
been rather embellished.

- The truth is really quite dull.
- Dull?

How you personally fled
Corfu in an orange crate?

And then a childhood in
exile, always on the move.

"Exile" is too strong a
word, too emotional.

It's just how it was for everyone.
You just got on with it.

But it can't have been easy.

Was the trauma of being in exile

what brought on your mother's
illness, do you think?

What illness?

Well, the information I have is
that she suffered a breakdown.

Things weren't easy for her.

But she got on with it.

But she was taken away, wasn't
she? To an institution.

Then your father promptly
abandoned the family,

ran off with his mistress?

I don't know what you've been reading

or who you've been speaking to,

but both my mother and my
father played very active roles

in all their children's lives.

It isn't true you didn't see your father

for the last six years of his life?

If we're to remain friends,
we really should move on.

All right.

May I ask you about your education?

Sir.

Sir.

- What about it?
- That was pretty unusual, too.

I went to boarding school in Britain.

I don't see what's unusual about that.

For a while, but then you
were taken out of there

and sent to school in Germany.

Because my sisters lived there.

- Your Nazi sisters.
- Oh, Christ.

One of whom was married to a close
personal friend of Hitler's.

I was at school in Germany
for less than a year

before I returned to the United Kingdom.

What point are you trying to make here?

I think it's pretty clear
which side I was on.

My record in the war speaks for itself.

I'm simply saying your background

is so much more interesting and
complex than people might imagine.

- Do they imagine anything?
- I think people are curious.

Here is this striking, handsome man,

walking beside the most
famous woman in the world.

Who is he?

Well, I hate to disappoint...

but he really is just a normal man

in what, from the outside, probably
looks like rather a strange life,

but from the inside, really is
no different to anyone else's.

I don't think there's anything
about you that's like anyone else.

From a young age, you were
effectively orphaned,

your favorite sister, Cecile, also
a Nazi, died in a plane crash...

I really think we should move on now.

What kind of impact does
that have on a man?

That's the kind of trauma that will
doubtless have a bearing on how

your own children and the future
King of England are brought up.

That's enough.

I think people have a right to know
about their leaders, don't you?

Especially ones that can't be thrown

out with free and fair elections.

Don't ever let my vanity get
the better of me again.

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

[GLASS SHATTERS]

[PHILIP] Christ!

- Christ!
- [GLASS SHATTERS]

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Kensington 8953. Hello?

We met...

a few times...

in... various locations.

Afterwards, he'd...
tell me about his job.

The company he keeps.

He didn't mention a wife.

Or children.

I'm so sorry.

If you are really sorry and
want to make my life easier...

Of course.

We will need you to make
an official statement

and give evidence in court.

I can't do that. I would
lose my job, my reputation.

I'm afraid that's what the law requires.

No!

No.

So you telephoned me and agreed to

come here today for what, precisely?

To put color into my nightmares?

I'm sorry.

[CHARTERIS] My sources now tell me

Mrs. Parker has gone as far
as bringing a waitress

from the Thursday Lunch Club
to see her divorce lawyer.

I gather the waitress has not provided

hard evidence on this occasion,

just hearsay.

Though we're obviously getting close.

This cannot be allowed to go one
single step further, Martin.

No.

If Mrs. Parker succeeds
in getting her divorce,

the newspapers would make the
not unreasonable assumption

that anything that Lieutenant
Commander Parker has done,

the Duke of Edinburgh has done, too.

We do not want words like "infidelity"
and "divorce" swirling around.

No.

Whether there is any truth
in the allegations or not,

it would shatter the integrity
of the royal marriage...

and jeopardize the entire monarchy.

Any ideas?

[PHILIP] Stand easy. Stand easy.

Right, our grown-up duties are done.

The Olympics are officially up and
running, which means, gentlemen,

we can now get on with the important
business at hand: our tour!

[CHEERING]

We have nine weeks between
now and our arrival home.

In that time, we will be visiting

the remotest parts of the Commonwealth,

but I'm delighted to say
that during that time,

we will be without reporters.

[CHEERING]

We will be without photographers.

We will be out of the world's eye!

And with that in mind,
Michael's got a suggestion.

Thank you. Right, gentlemen.

Uh, yes, I'd like to propose
something a little unusual,

something I'm fairly sure none of
us has ever participated in before:

- a beard-growing competition!
- [CHEERING]

Now, special dispensation has
been given to the dozen or so men

who already have beards to shave
them off and they'll act as judges

for the rest of our efforts, all right?

Yes!

- Hip, hip!
- [CREW] Hooray!

- Hip, hip!
- [CREW] Hooray!

- Hip, hip! Hooray!
- [CREW] Hooray!

[MAN] It's nothing
you've not seen before.

We can't see it now, Bill.

[LAUGHING]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Right, in their infinite wisdom,
the powers that be have decided

they would like you to
make a Christmas speech.

What? To who? The men on board?

Uh, no.

To the half a billion
people that make up

the Commonwealth of Nations.

From the Lord Chamberlain's office.

They'd like you to make a companion
Christmas speech to the Queen's.

A thousand words, preferably uplifting

in tone and Christian in sentiment.

With as many references as possible

to the importance of family
and the sanctity of marriage.

What if I don't want to?

I'm afraid no provisions
appear to have been made

for your having an opinion about
that or, indeed, anything else.

[ADEANE] Because of seniority,

your speech will come second,
the usual time, three p.m.

However, on Christmas morning,

the Duke of Edinburgh is
expected to be in Graham Land,

which is in the Antarctic Peninsula,
which is ten hours behind us,

so he'll have to get up at the
crack of dawn to make his speech.

May I ask why he's making a speech?

Ma'am?

Well, it's not usual, is it?

No, it is extraordinary.

Um, I think the feeling was

that with Your Majesty
and His Royal Highness

having not been seen in
public together for so long,

being, at least, heard together...

No, I see. It might reassure
people that all is still well.

[CHUCKLES] I wouldn't
go that far, ma'am.

Well, I would.

And I think it's a good idea.

Thank you, Michael.

May I just ask...

just out of curiosity...

what's the longest amount of time that

you and Lady Adeane have been separated?

Uh...

Three weeks, I think.

I see. And would you say that you

thrive or suffer from the separation?

Uh, we don't much care for it, ma'am.

Helen, in particular, believes...

little good comes from
a couple being apart,

that a husband and wife belong together.

Yes, of course.

- Ma'am.
- [ELIZABETH CLEARS THROAT]

[MORSE CODE BEEPING]

- Brown?
- Yes, sir?

- [PHILIP] What's up?
- Australian naval patrol boat,

the HMAS Warreen, has put
out a distress call.

They picked up a fishing boat, out
of power, it's drifted for days.

One man left alive, he nearly
drowned trying to fix the hull.

He suffered a broken rib cage,
and his lung may be punctured.

And the Warreen doesn't
have a doctor on board.

- The man is dying.
- Are we the nearest ship?

There's a French freighter
three miles further out.

[SMITH] We are the nearest ship.

Set your course.

Bring her about.

[CAPTAIN] Coming about.

Ninety degrees.

Hoist.

[MAN] Up, up. He's coming up.

Steady him.

- [BEEPING]
- [MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER PA]

[MEDIC] Straps.

At ease.

We fished him out of the
water, floating near his boat.

The rest of his crew must have drowned.

There was no log on board.

We don't know who he
is or where he's from.

It doesn't matter who he
is or where he's from.

He was the captain of a ship...
that's all that counts.

- [MEDIC] We'll need a saline drip.
- He's one of us.

[MEDIC] Immediately. Fluids. Now, man.

No, it's out of the question, sir.

Why?

[SMITH] We have a strict schedule,
as part of an official tour.

And to take the man back
to wherever he came from

would be to turn back in
entirely the wrong direction.

It'd take days, maybe a whole
week, off our important schedule.

We can make that time up.

The man's fortunate
enough we saved his life.

We'll simply drop him off at the next

destination and that'll be that.

He will be needlessly
separated from his home.

Find himself in a strange
country, with a foreign language,

away from his family.

[SMITH] Not my concern.

Another vessel with less important
duties might find time for such...

sentimental charity.

We've done our important duties
and are on the way home.

We're effectively a
glorified pleasure cruiser

with an abundance of
fuel and time to spare.

Sir, my decision as Flag Officer is no.

And my decision as Admiral
of the Fleet is that we do.

[SMITH CLEARS THROAT]

There is only one person
in command of the vessel.

It's the Flag Officer.

If you'd recall your naval
training... you'd remember.

I do recall my naval
training, as it happens.

Manning command posts on
destroyers during the war.

The same war which, I believe,
you spent on shore duty.

I have never abused my privileges,
and I don't intend to start now,

but this is the Royal Yacht.

I am on it representing the Crown,

and I say turn it around
and take this man home.

[MIKE] My dear friends, after
20 eventful weeks at sea,

visiting five continents and
covering many thousands of miles,

I'm happy to report that we saved
our greatest adventure for last.

As the Royal Yacht Britannia
turned naval rescue

and we fished a shipwrecked
mariner out of the water.

Our brilliant surgeons operated on him,

then we went out of
our way to return him

to his home, his family and his people.

[WOMEN CLAMORING]

[MIKE] And what people.

[CHATTERING]

What a family.

What a home.

- [CHATTERING]
- [WOMAN CHEERING]

[TRUMPETS PLAYING]

[MIKE] Should you Thursday
Club members ever grow tired

of your colorless and
empty lives in London,

I suggest immediate relocation

to the discrete island nations
nestled around Tonga...

surely the closest one can
come to heaven on Earth.

"Never have we received such a welcome,

- or eaten so well.
- [ISLANDERS SINGING]

Never have I experienced
such a willingness

to set oneself free and enjoy.

[CLUB MEMBERS CHEERING]

And nowhere on Earth,

and we have, by this point,
traveled across almost every inch,

have we encountered
such beautiful women."

[CLUB MEMBERS LAUGHING]

[PHILIP] Bye!

[BARON] "These really have been
the most remarkable few days.

And it is with the greatest reluctance,

that after three days here,
we tear ourselves away,

each of us, not a little bit,
but a great deal in love."

[CLUB MEMBERS CHEERING]

[LILY] That is your husband's
handwriting, isn't it?

You said you needed evidence.

That's not a royal tour they're
on, it's a five-month stag night.

Whores in every port.

Good luck.

Uh, thank you.

[CORGIS BARKING]

- Happy Christmas.
- Happy Christmas, Your Majesty.

- [QUEEN MOTHER] Hello. Thank you.
- Oh, thank God.

[CHATTERING]

[CHATTERING]

[SIGHS] All right, you two. Good, now...

[MARGARET] Thank you.

[QUEEN MOTHER GASPS]

[QUEEN MOTHER] Edward!

Delighted to see you.

[MIKE] Written it yet?

No.

I'm waiting for inspiration to strike.

Might I suggest some gung-ho platitudes

about Christmas and the Commonwealth?

That's what they want me to
say. I mean what I want to say.

Right.

Have you got it yet? Home Service.

Nearly there, sir.

[MARGARET] Where exactly is Philip?

- Graham Land, last I heard.
- Where's that?

[MARGARET] Dickie, where's Graham Land?

[ELIZABETH] Antarctica. Is it?

- Is that north or is that south?
- [QUEEN MOTHER] It's north.

- Don't be silly, it's south.
- [MARGARET] Does anyone actually know?

Well, yes, because the Arctic is north

and so Antarctica is
non-north, isn't it, Dickie?

What's "non-north"?

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[PHILIP] Come.

- It's time.
- Good.

- Your Majesties, Your Royal Highnesses.
- Oh, children.

[MAN ON RADIO] Now, a Christmas
announcement from His Royal Highness,

the Duke of Edinburgh.

Good morning.

This is Britannia.

I'm speaking to you from the
edge of the South Pacific.

59 degrees south and 60 degrees west.

You have to turn the globe
upside down to find this place.

Indeed, a few of us aboard

the Royal Yacht feel a
little upside-down...

having never been this far from home.

[CHUCKLES]

The remoteness of the location

presents one with a precious
opportunity to think...

about one's own life,
one's own way of living.

We've traveled the world now
and seen all manner of tribes,

societies and cultures.

We've had endless debates about
which places have the best systems

of government or justice or the
most interesting religions.

And we've been amazed, and impressed
by so much of what we have seen.

Naturally, it has led us to
examine our own lives...

and the way we live.

The things we take for granted.

Is that really Philip? It's not
some sort of Philip impersonator?

Why?

He just sounds so odd. So different.

And here I am, almost
10,000 miles from London...

surrounded by empty water.

It's a fine life on board a ship...
but it can be a solitary one.

We are men together...

but we each stand alone.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

I've been asked to tell you
that they're ready for you.

Right.

Last-minute changes?

- Something like that.
- May I help?

No. Thank you.

[MAN 1] Signal strength's good.

- [EQUIPMENT CLICKS]
- [MAN 2] Far be it from me to...

Let's see if I can oil the wheels.

[MAN 2] All clear from
Broadcasting House.

[MAN 2 SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

We are ready for you, ma'am.

Yes.

Happy Christmas.

- Happy Christmas, Your Majesty.
- Happy Christmas, ma'am.

[TUNES RADIO]

[MAN ON RADIO] People of Britain

and the Commonwealth will
now listen to the voice

of Her Majesty the Queen.

Thank you. Ma'am.

[EQUIPMENT WHIRS]

Once again,

messages of Christmas greeting have

been exchanged around the world...

carried upon the invisible wings...

of 20th-century science.

And of all those many messages from
all corners of the Commonwealth,

none has given us greater pleasure

than hearing those of my husband...

from the remote and lonely
spaces of Antarctica.

To him, I say...

from all the members of your
family gathered here today...

our very best wishes go to
you on board Britannia.

A very large, united family
is waiting for you here...

and will always be waiting
for you, wherever you are.

- Her Majesty.
- Her Majesty.

[ELIZABETH] I would like
to express my gratitude

to those men and women
of the Commonwealth

whose efforts in our great cities...

[MIKE] There you are!

[PHILIP CLEARS THROAT]

You all right?

Fine.

Her speech.

What about it?

Touching. Unexpectedly touching.

Caught me off guard.

I might even have to confess
to feeling a little...

Homesick?

Yes.

Right.

Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com