All language subtitles for Hart To Hart S03E11 Hartless Hobby 1080p WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-squalor (1)_track3_[eng]

[Max] This is
my boss, Jonathan hart,

a self-made millionaire.

He's quite a guy.

This is Mrs. H. She's gorgeous.

She's one lady
who knows how to take care of herself.

By the way, my name is Max.

I take care of both of them,

which ain't easy,

'cause when
they met, it was murder.

[Theme music playing]

[Woman] No, no. That's crooked.

Can't you see?

That's better.

I think we'll display the henley
collection over there. What do you think?

I think you're
going to have a very profitable exhibition.

We're going to
have one, you mean.

- Yeah.
- [Laughs]

[Max] Morning, Mrs. H.

Scrambled or fried?

Oh, I don't know,
Max. Surprise me.

I will.

Anything interesting?

Well, let's see. Uh,
there's one for you.

Jennifer, Jennifer.

That's a water power bill.

Here's another one for you.

And there's, uh, telephone.

Know what this is?

What?

This is a check
for that story I did on the golden news

- in California.
- Oh?

Not bad.

I'll say not bad.

Little pin money.

I'd say that's
a lot of pin money.

- Well, I buy a lot of pins.
- Hm.

What is your day like?

Well, I'm going around to see

my
father's old friend, Claude Faraday.

He's a stamp collector.

You know, he has
that gallery on rodeo drive.

I ran into him the other day.

He's trying to persuade me to reactivate
my old collection.

Well, that might
not be a bad idea.

You know, Claude
said that collectibles,

like stamps and coins,
have really gone up

- in the last few years.
- That's true.

They're a very good investment.

Well, I'm gonna see
him this afternoon.

You're welcome to come with me.

I thought you'd never ask.

Stamp collectors are
the nicest sort of people.

You don't say.

You wanna play post office?

Eat your breakfast.

[Knock at door]

At last. I was getting worried.

Get lost instead.

[Sighs]

I want a drink.

Jae, jae, jae.

A stamp is
the most beautiful thing in the world.

Would you be
offended if I told you

that at this particular moment,

you don't remind me of a stamp?

Don't be an idiot, Simon.

I have to be back at
the gallery in an hour.

Even so.

Indulge me.

[Sighs]

[Door closes]

[Jae] You
know, I wouldn't do this

on my lunch hour
for anyone but you.

Has it arrived yet?

I told you. This afternoon.

[Mouths] Oh.

Lovely.

Much better.

That prison matron
look doesn't suit you,

besides being
a rather bad omen, don't you think?

[Both chuckle]

Easy for you to joke,
when I'm taking all the risk.

What risk?

You're Claude
Faraday's right hand for two years now.

He'd sooner suspect his mother.

I almost feel sorry for him.

Oh?

Well, try thinking of a million.

That's a dollar sign, a one,

and all those
lovely little zeros.

I have.

I did say, "almost."

Here's the counterfeit.

What do you think?

[Jae] Now, that is a magnificent

piece of work.

This is it, the Faraday gallery.

Well, I see what you mean.

Stamp collecting
isn't just for kids.

Looks like
they're getting ready for their exhibition.

Claude said that
people come from all over the world

just to buy a stamp or two.

And drop
more than a coin or two in the process,

- I would imagine.
- I would imagine.

But then all the best
things in life aren't free.

I hope she's not undressing
me with her eyes.

Careful, I'll
have her frisk you.

- Hmm.
- Oh, there's Claude.

My dear girl, how are you?

- Well.
- Oh, I apologize for the security.

My, uh, insurance
company insists.

And this must be the
lucky man, Jonathan.

No argument
there. How do you do, Mr. Faraday?

Call me Claude, please.

You must have some very
valuable stamps on the premises, Claude.

Especially today.

The nyanza
vermilion just arrived.

You must
have seen the armored truck outside.

Yes, we did.

What's all this?

[Faraday] Well, we
have to be very careful

with the vermilion on
the premises.

I usually keep it locked
up in the bank's vault.

But this, uh,
this new equipment is very reassuring.

It's our new toy.
Let me show you.

It's all right, babs.

[Alarm rings]

[Alarm rings]

You're not carrying
a gun, are you, Claude?

[Laughs]

Stamp ink. It
triggers the alarm.

[Alarm rings]

If anyone tries
to smuggle out a stamp...

Well, I hate to
be suspicious, but you know people.

Yes. We've had a
few experiences of our own.

Claude, is
everything all right? I heard the alarm.

Oh, everything's fine.
Just giving a demonstration for my friends.

Oh, I see. Uh, jae,

these are the harts.

Jae Turner, my right hand.

Hello. How do you do?

Hello. Jae will be able

- to help you in the future with your inquiries.
- Oh.

She's, uh,
well, my second self, aren't you, jae?

- Oh. That's sweet.
- [Faraday chuckles]

But if you'll excuse me,
I must finish addressing the invitations.

Very nice to meet you.

- Thank you.
- What a lifesaver she is.

[Chuckles]

Now... Uh, where were we?

Oh, yes.

I have just the
thing for your nest egg.

Oh.

[Jae] There's nothing
like the real thing.

Not even a handmade imitation.

Oh, they really are beautiful.

I had no idea.

Little masterpieces.

The engraving
is incredibly detailed.

[Faraday] They really are gems.

But not all the
pretty ones are valuable, you know.

The fabulous
magenta, for example,

is very ugly,

but it's worth
hundreds of thousands.

Rarity

and beauty.

Those are the legends.

Like the, uh, vermilion?

Uh, i... I can't resist.

Would you like a peek?

[Gasps]

We thought you'd never ask.

[Jae] Sealed with a kiss.

[Door opens]

Private showing, jae.

- Oh, I was, uh... uh, just finishing up on the invitations.
- [Door closes]

Oh, of course. Fine.

Thank you, my dear.

There you
are. This Friday. Now, you must come.

[Jennifer] All right.

Oh, Claude. This
one's already stamped. Why waste it?

You can give us another.

[Jae] Good idea, Mrs. Hart.

[Faraday] No. No, no.

Your first stamp from
the Faraday gallery.

Ah.

It's the first time I had a good look
at it since it arrived from the bank.

Hmm.

A one-million-dollar
stamp. That must be

one of the most valuable
stamps in the world.

Oh, my god.

Something wrong?

It's a fake.

Are you sure?

It's a good
one, but it's a fake.

Well, maybe you'd
better call the police.

Do you think
that's wise, Claude?

There's more
at stake than the vermilion, Mr. Hart.

The reputation of the
gallery to consider.

We make our living
by our clients' trust in us.

Yeah, she's right.

Why, this Friday
alone, we'll have two million dollars'

worth of stamps here
on loan or consignment

from collectors who
trust us to keep them safe.

And I was careless.

I should have examined the stamp

the moment it
arrived from the bank.

Uh, excuse me, Claude, but, uh,

can you afford
this kind of a loss?

[Sighs]

Well, I can for a few days.

I'll call in the
insurance people,

along with the police,

but after the exhibition.

I can't lose the vermilion
and my reputation.

When would
something like this happen?

Could have been
switched at the bank

or in the armored truck.

If we can
possibly do anything to help, Claude,

please don't
hesitate to call us.

[Faraday] Thank you.

- Bye.
- [Jonathan] Bye-bye.

- [Alarm rings]
- Oh. Never mind.

- Do...
- It's just that stamp.

Why don't I take that?

All right.

Wait a minute. Oh.

I'd better take the invitation.

Oh. Uh, th...
This one's all bent.

Why don't you let me
get you a fresh one?

Oh, that doesn't matter.

We're practically family
anyway, aren't we?

You will let us
in with a bent invitation?

Heh. Of course.

Well...

We'll see you Friday, then.

Bye-bye.

Bye, Claude.

And, uh, relax.

[Jonathan]
This says it's the most valuable stamp

in the world.

Sold to Claude
Faraday early last year

in Paris for a
little under a million dollars.

[Jennifer] Poor Claude.

[Jonathan] It's from
French-African nyanza,

a short-lived colony around the turn
of the century.

And it's rumored to bring bad luck to
the possessor.

[Jennifer] Like
the hope diamond.

Uh, speaking of hope,
how much longer?

[Jennifer] Fifty-eight, 59...

Now, it's a good thing
I'm a soul of Patience.

[Jennifer] ...98, 99, 100.

Well...

[Inhales, sighs]

what do you think?

Oh, big difference.

[Scoffs]

You should've locked the office door
during the switch.

It would've looked suspicious.

Is it better to look
stupid, incompetent,

and a million
dollars down the hole?

All right, let me think.

I've been
doing a little research

on Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan hart

of Willow palm drive, bel air.

And?

McCoy, you'll have
to search the house first.

Now, there's
a houseman and a dog to take care of.

You think he can he handle it?

And if it's not in the house,

Mrs. Hart probably
has it in her purse.

I think McCoy can, uh,

charm her out of it.

[Chuckles] Don't make me laugh.

I don't plan to.

McCoy has quite a
way with the ladies.

A real heartbreaker,
if you'll forgive the pun.

I think Mrs. Hart may
find that out rather soon.

[Jonathan] Darling,
better start getting ready.

The bank opens in an hour.

[Moans] Uh-huh.

Oh. You smell so good.

- Oh. Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.

Did you say the bank
doesn't open for an hour?

Yeah, that's the point.

It's easy to
keep things unofficial

outside of business hours.

Mm, and it doesn't hurt matters

that the bank manager's
your old golfing buddy.

Now, let me tell you
something about bill rather.

He is no Arnold Palmer, but, uh,

he does run his bank up to par.

I just can't imagine
them switching

the stamps at the bank.

[Sighs]

I love to watch you shave.

Well, you better
start getting ready.

Mm-hmm.

After all, we are
going to see a banker.

And we don't want
our credit rating to fall.

Your credit
rating will never fall.

- Will you cut that out?
- [Chuckles]

[Jennifer] It's
awfully nice of you

to bend the
rules like this, bill.

No, it's a pleasure, Jennifer.

Now, Claude is sure it's a fake?

Absolutely, don't you think?

Mm-hmm.

The stamp arrived

from Claude's, uh,
Paris bank on Monday.

- [Jennifer] Two days ago.
- Right.

See?

Now, there's Claude's signature.

He examined
the stamp in the vault the day it arrived.

And he didn't examine it

when it arrived at the
gallery yesterday?

Jonathan, are you
thinking that the switch may have occurred

during the two days
that the stamp was here?

Hmm. That's exactly
what I'm thinking, bill.

[Bill] It is a possibility.

It's a very remote possibility.

But, uh, I don't think so.

Stamp was genuine

when it left us
yesterday afternoon.

What about the truck?
The armored truck?

Could the switch have
taken place then?

No, I don't think so, Jennifer.

We've... we've
been using the Burke security system

for 20 years.
I'll call over there,

but they routinely
polygraph their men

if there's any
problem on a shipment.

You will keep this confidential?

All in the family.

Ah. Thanks.

Darling.

- We appreciate it very much.
- Prove it.

Next time
we play golf, you miss a putt or two.

[Chuckles]

- Bye-bye, bill.
- Bye, Jennifer.

Bye, Jonathan.

The only way
to find out when the switch occurred

is to trace the
vermilion through its journey yesterday.

From the bank
to the armored truck?

Well,
bill will take care of that.

But let's suppose that
the genuine vermilion

reached the gallery. Then what?

Well, then
the driver of the truck

gave it to Claude.

Or to jae, or to one
of the gallery guards.

There's no one above suspicion?

Only you are above suspicion.

Oh. Well, thank you very much.

[Chuckles]

[Engine starts]

Miss Turner?

Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Hart.

What brings you here?

Well, we wanted to
ask you who the guard was

that was on duty yesterday

when the vermilion
was delivered.

Um, they work a split shift.

The same one that
was on duty last night

will be here this evening. Why?

Well, we were just at the bank,

and there's a good chance that

the genuine vermilion
was delivered here.

And with, uh,
Claude's permission,

we'd like to talk
to the guard and ask him some questions.

Claude's not here.

He's in the hospital.

In the hospital? What for?

[Sighs] This whole business

has upset him terribly.

His heart's not very
strong, you know.

His heart?

Which hospital is it?

County general hospital.

When did all this happen?

This morning.

He started to have
chest pains, so I called an ambulance.

Well, we'll go by and
see him this afternoon.

Oh, that would be very nice.

But please don't
bring up the vermilion.

[Sighs]

It would only make things worse.

We won't. Um...

Thanks very much.

Thank you. Bye-bye.

Goodbye.

[Door opens]

[Phone line rings]

Room 314, please.

[Telephone rings]

[Jae] Hello, Simon.

The harts were just here.

They're going to see Claude.

Aren't they sweet?

They've been to the bank.

They suspect
the stamp was genuine

when it arrived at the gallery.

Well, maybe
they'll think some guard switched it,

or a safecracking customer.

But I'm the only one who knew

which drawer
it was in in the safe.

If Claude hears the switch occurred
in the gallery, he'll know who did it.

Then make sure he
doesn't hear about it.

Me?

Why do I have
to do all the dirty work?

Because you're
making all the mistakes.

If the harts hadn't
gotten their hands on that invitation,

we'd be in rio right now.

As it is, you'll
have to send Claude

on a little trip instead.

[Phone line clicks dead]

[Car starts]

[Freeway barking]

[Freeway whimpering]

[Barking]

Hi there, pooch.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Heh.

Yeah, that's
a nice little doggie.

Come here. Come here, poochie.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let me talk to you.

Come here. There's a nice doggy.

[Chuckles]

Let's see. Let's
find a little place for you to sit, huh?

All right, just a second.
How about in here?

Yeah. How about right in there?

Stay right there, okay?

That's a good dog.

[Freeway barks]

[Car doors closing]

Max? Freeway?

Oh, they must
have gone shopping.

Do you think Claude's
gonna like these?

Of course.

There's nothing like
an American beauty.

You don't have to convince me.

- Ah. I'll be right back.
- Heh-heh.

I just have to get my sweater.

I'll call the hospital and check on the
visiting hours.

[Dialing]

[Door opens]

Darling?

We're right on schedule.

Visiting hours in 15 minutes.

Coming.

What are you doing with that?

I just wanted to leave it here
by the door so we don't forget to take it.

[Freeway whimpering]

What's that?

[Whimpering]

It sounds like freeway.

[Footsteps receding]

[Door opens]

Freeway.

[Whimpering]

Freeway. Hello, baby.

How did you get in there?

Or better yet,

how did he close the door?

Idiot.

The world's most valuable stamp,

and I'm dealing with idiots.

Why didn't you just take it?

Well, I would've had
to kill the two of them.

Both.

Your grasp of numbers amazes me.

Well, we've got work.

What about
that guard they wanted to question?

Walker? He's on duty tonight.

Good. Call the harts,
make sure they know

he's available for questioning.

And you, my friend. I want you to pull
yourself together,

because I want that stamp.

I'm not interested in
a body count.

And you and the harts

had better
hope that Jennifer brings her purse.

The alarm was
turned off, and the lock was picked.

But nothing is missing
as far as I can tell.

But I'd sure like to
get my hands on the creep

that locked
up freeway like that.

Yeah. So would we, Max.

Come on, freeway.

I'll get you some dinner.

Well, darling, let's
get back down to the gallery.

We can question that guard.

Jae said he'd be back
on duty around 10:00.

Let's go.

[Grunts]

There he is.

Uh, Mr. Walker.

[Jennifer] Mr. Walker,
we're the harts, friends of Mr. Far...

[Gasps] Are you all right?

Yeah.

Seems like someone doesn't want us
to be involved.

Then why would he
want to take my purse?

Don't even think of
holding out on me, McCoy.

I'm not, boss.
I saw her put it in.

You two are a comedy of errors.

The joke's gone stale.

Look, Simon.
At least they don't know they have it.

They wouldn't take such chances
with the stamp if they knew.

Yes, well, after
the masked marauder's performance tonight,

I think it might occur to them

they got something
somebody wants.

Well, what if we...

Never mind "what if."

What if we lie low, hmm?

Just make sure the
police aren't called in,

and that the
harts attend that exhibition tomorrow.

And you...

Why don't you
get out of my sight?

I... I could check the
house again.

As your last act here on earth.

I'll get the invitation when they come
to the exhibition.

But I'll handle it, understand?

My way.

[Jonathan] No, jae, we're fine.

Thanks very much
for your concern.

Yes, uh, we'll
remember to bring it.

See you tonight.

Bye.

She's concerned that
last night's jamboree

might prevent us from
attending the reception.

Oh. That was very
nice of her to call, wasn't it?

Well, I'm not so sure.

She's the only one that knew

that we would be at
the gallery last night.

You don't think
she's in on it, do you?

Well, let's
just say that her chances for winning

the employee of the
month award are a little dim.

Yes, but the
guard said that he personally escorted

Claude and the
stamp to the safe.

So the switch couldn't
have been made there.

Mm-hmm.

But if she did
switch the stamps,

then why is she still
hanging around town?

And how did she get the stamps out
of the gallery

and past the electronic sensors?

Hm. [Knock on door]

I have the Harper
contracts, Mr. Hart.

[Jonathan] Oh, thanks
very much, Stanley.

Good afternoon, Mrs. Hart.

Hello, Stanley.

Well, darling,
maybe we ought to retire

the Jennifer
hart stamp collection.

Mrs. Hart,
I didn't know you were a fellow enthusiast.

Yes. Are you
a collector, Stanley?

Oh, yes, Mrs. Hart.
Philately is my passion.

You know, Stanley, you might be able
to help us out.

We need a little background

on the stamp
scene in Los Angeles.

Do you know the Faraday gallery?

Yes, I couldn't believe
what I read in the papers.

I've been
a customer of Mr. Faraday's for years.

What about, uh, jae Turner?

I don't know much about her.

It's funny, she
always seems so busy

whenever I come into the shop.

Mr. Faraday said she
was his right hand.

She was. She was
the only one he trusted

with the combination
to the safe.

That's funny.

She told us that
she couldn't open it.

Maybe he changed
the combination.

Maybe. Well,
thanks a lot, Stanley.

We'd better get
home and get ready for the exhibition.

Uh, you're going, too? It... It... it's my
very first one.

It's very exclusive. Mm.

Then
you'd better knock off early, Stanley.

You don't want to be late.

Gee, thanks, Mr. Hart,

but duty before
philately, I always say.

This should be fun, swapping stamp stories
with you all night.

[Freeway whimpering]

How can I turn down that face?

Okay, freeway.

I'm ready for my walk.

[Door closes]

How would you like
to play a game with me?

Jonathan.

Let's say

that jae switched the
stamp in the gallery.

All right.

And she managed
to smuggle it out.

All right.

And now...

Somebody is after us

because they
think that we have it.

How could we have it?

What did we take out
of the gallery that day?

Nothing. Except the invitation.

Exactly. That's
what struck me about Stanley's invitation.

Why does ours
have such a large stamp in the corner? Hmm?

Well, I don't know.
Let's go take a look at it.

Jonathan.

It's gone.

Hi, Mr. and Mrs. H.

- Hi, Max.
- Max...

We took care of the mail.

Max, what happened to the card that
was on that tray?

Well, I guess it got mixed up

with the letters
and I mailed it.

Well, then it's in the
mailbox at the gate. Oh.

No, I got lucky.

Made the 3:00 pickup

at the mailbox on the corner.

Excuse us, Max.

Hey, there's a pickup at 5:00.

Jonathan.

We'll make it.

[Tires screeching]

[Horn honks]

[Car horn honks]

[Honking]

[Honks]

[Tires squeal]

Don.

Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Hart.

Gee, you scared me.

Did I do something wrong?

- Oh, no, no, no.
- No. No, no, nothing.

Uh, it's just that, you
see, we were mailing

some letters,
and in among the letters

was a... a
card that I, heh... I failed to address.

Do you mind
if I look for it in your bag?

Oh, sure, sure,
sure. Go right ahead.

Oh. How's the family?

Great. Great. Good.

[Don] Did you get my
note? [Jennifer] What note was that?

I delivered it myself. Thank-you note for
the Turkey you gave us for Thanksgiving.

Oh, yes. Yes.

[Jonathan] Find it, darling?

Here it is. You
see? Ha. No address.

- Right.
- Well, thanks an awful lot, Don.

Sure. Sure.

- [Don] It was really good.
- What?

The Turkey. [Jennifer] Oh, good.

Yeah. We had about
four meals out of it.

-[Jonathan] Give our best to the family.
-Will do. Will do.

- Maybe we can get together.
- [Engine starts]

Real soon.

Gee, she's pretty.

What if we're wrong?

Then you lost
a purse for nothing.

Be careful.

[Jennifer] Voila.

The million-dollar vermilion.

I think they put a little
too much postage on it.

A million dollars too much.

[Jonathan] There's no way we
can prove that jae stole that stamp.

She'll have to
blow her own cover.

And I'll bet she'll
do that when she steams this stamp off

and finds
out that we've been there before her.

So, we'll hand this
million-dollar murder motive

to her security consultants,

and I will keep the
real vermilion with me, hmm?

I've never been to
a stamp exhibition before.

Which one should I wear?

The red.

Then I'll have, uh,

two vermilions to my credit.

So I'm competing with
an 80-year-old stamp?

But beautifully.

[Clicks tongue]

You understand the game?

Yeah. I understand.

Yes, well, we live and hope.

There's money
in the account for you

if you don't foul up.

And you can
meet me in rio next month. [Door opens]

You know where. Meet us in rio.

[Simon] Darling,
you look lovely.

Thank you.

I was telling McCoy
to shoot straight.

Yeah. Right through the harts.

That's very good, McCoy.

Come on. You can
change at the gallery.

We'll see you there, Simon.

[Simon] Mm-hmm.

Very amusing.

I shall miss you...

Both.

[Soft jazz music playing]

[People chattering]

What a charming bunch
we stamp collectors are.

I'll be glad when it's over.

I wonder.

Hmm?

I wonder...

Hadn't you
better go to the door?

We don't want to miss
our friends, do we?

All right.

Oh, there she is.

Look at that glint in her eye.

Maybe an attack
of hostess nerves.

Your invitation, Mr. Hart?

Good evening.
I'll take your invitation.

Uh, Jonathan. The invitation.

Don't you have the invitation?

Me? Well, no.

Well, where would I put it?

Now, that's a point.

Maybe it's in the car.

Oh, we'll be happy to have your car
brought around,

if necessary.

Oh. I've got it.

Jonathan always knows where to lay
his hands on things.

- Oh!
- Thank you, sir.

Look at that. I
never noticed that.

Isn't that a pretty stamp?

[Jonathan] Yes, that is pretty.

Would you mind if
I keep this stamp?

I collect commemorative stamps.

Well, why don't
you just let me get you a fresh one?

Jae, will you come here, please?

Oh. Uh, excuse me.
I'll be back in a moment.

Well, darling.

Shall we go look at
some pretty stamps?

I think we better.

Oh, excuse me.
Would you check this for me, please?

Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Hart.

- Oh, hi, Stanley.
- Oh, Stanley.

Hazel, uh, Mr. and Mrs. Hart.

How do you do?

[Ditsy voice] A
pleasure, I'm sure.

- Thank you very much.
- Nice to meet you.

Uh, we were gonna
drop by Hazel's later on

to look at her topicals.

Her topicals?

Uh, stamps, darling.

Right. Stamps.

Well, I guess we better
be moving on. Heh.

Heh.

Well, nice to have met you.

A pleasure, I'm sure.

That was kind of typical, huh?

Of Stanley or the topicals?

Oh, aren't these lovely?

[Simon] At last.

Get them in here.

Look at this.

A bargain at 75,000.

Excuse me for interrupting,

but I'd like a word with
you, if I may.

We can talk in the office.

Maybe our friend
jae has been doing some steaming.

I'd like to come to terms.

We have a few of our own.

Name them.

Well, first, we'd
like to have the truth.

Who did you
steal that stamp for?

And what do I get in return?

Well, we might
be able to make it

a little easier for you

with the district attorney
than what you deserve.

All right.

But I'll go you one better.

I'll show you who I did it for.

It's naughty to eavesdrop.

Forgive me.

My name is, uh, ritchardson.

Simon ritchardson.

And I want my stamp.

Badly enough to kill people?

Badly enough to kill
any number of people.

Well, I think that'd
be a little difficult.

I mean there
are guards downstairs.

Not to mention the guests.

Uh, jae.

[Knocks]

Now, you may not recognize him

without nylon stretched across

his pretty features.

My congratulations
to your boxing instructor.

But that was a good idea about
the, uh, witnesses downstairs.

McCoy.

So...

I'll say it once more.

I want my stamp.

You don't really think
you're going to get away with this, do you?

With all the guests downstairs,

the guards,

the electric sensors.
You'll never make it.

Yes, well,
people tend to disregard

annoying little
buzzers when there's a fire going on.

Especially,
uh, stamp collectors.

We hate fires.

No, no, no. Not
you, dear. Over there.

What? You...

Why take a stamp half-price

when I can get it for free?

- You miserable creep.
- McCoy,

take care of miss greed, too.

And now for my big performance.

- [Alarm ringing]
- No!

[Grunting]

Run!

- Fire!
- [People screaming]

Everybody out!

Hurry now.

Gotta see a man about a fire.

[Door opens]

Come on, folks. Hurry now.

Move, move, move.

Uh, Mr. Hart, are you okay?

Yeah, I'm all right.
But I think next time,

we ought
to stick to stocks and bonds, Stanley.

Oh. Well, now
that's what I call a pair

of million-dollar legs.

[Chuckles]

Well, darling, here's to us.

To us. After all
we've been through,

we deserve it.

Well, we did get
the vermilion back.

Mm. But they
still took my purse.

- Your purse?
- Mm-hmm.

Well, you can buy a new one.

Oh, I know that.

But it wasn't
actually the purse.

It was what
was inside the purse.

What was inside of it?

My pledge for
the easter seal fund.

Oh. Believe
me, you're good for it.

They know that, just like I do.

A pledge is forever.

Hmm.

You're very reassuring.

Oh. Thanks.

You know, um,
the world of stamps

is not all that bad.

No. Not if you don't mind

robberies, burglaries
and muggings.

Look on the bright side.

What bright side?

There's always a friendly game

of post office.

Did you ever think of that?

No, I never did think of that.