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1
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Hey!
2
00:00:52,092 --> 00:00:54,198
Are you a good witch or a bad witch?
3
00:00:54,692 --> 00:00:57,323
I want you to know I have beaten
a man unconscious before.
4
00:00:57,376 --> 00:00:59,015
So... a bad witch.
5
00:00:59,096 --> 00:01:00,675
Who are you? Get off my couch!
Okay.
6
00:01:00,797 --> 00:01:02,011
Where'd you come from?
Get out of my house.
7
00:01:02,133 --> 00:01:03,793
Yes, ma'am.
Did you steal?
8
00:01:03,833 --> 00:01:05,655
Did you steal from a helpless old woman?
9
00:01:05,736 --> 00:01:07,720
I didn't. I'm sorry.
Michelle told me where you kept your key
10
00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:08,651
and that you were
out of town, and I just...
11
00:01:08,772 --> 00:01:09,623
Michelle?
12
00:01:09,785 --> 00:01:11,242
Huh?
13
00:01:11,444 --> 00:01:13,631
Michelle told you where I kept my key?
14
00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:16,579
Michelle who?
15
00:01:18,813 --> 00:01:21,039
You told him where I kept my key?!
16
00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:22,456
Oh, you're kidding.
17
00:01:22,618 --> 00:01:23,509
Fanny, you're back.
18
00:01:23,590 --> 00:01:25,047
I'm gone two weeks, I come back
19
00:01:25,209 --> 00:01:26,991
and you're in bed with a
child who wears flipflops
20
00:01:27,112 --> 00:01:28,448
in public.
Hey, Fanny.
21
00:01:28,529 --> 00:01:30,849
Hello, godot.
I didn't know you were coming back today.
22
00:01:30,918 --> 00:01:32,982
How many men do you have
stashed around here, huh?
23
00:01:33,063 --> 00:01:34,521
You were supposed to come back next week.
24
00:01:34,561 --> 00:01:36,100
Oh, is that me?
There's a man in my living room,
25
00:01:36,221 --> 00:01:37,517
a man in your bed.
I wrote it down.
26
00:01:37,638 --> 00:01:38,610
Whoa.
27
00:01:38,650 --> 00:01:39,622
Is there one in the garage?
28
00:01:39,662 --> 00:01:40,918
Three in the potting shed?
29
00:01:40,998 --> 00:01:42,092
See? Next week. The 20th.
30
00:01:42,213 --> 00:01:43,387
Today is the 20th.
31
00:01:43,468 --> 00:01:44,885
Crap. I missed my dentist appointment.
32
00:01:44,966 --> 00:01:46,100
Who was the man in my house?
33
00:01:46,140 --> 00:01:47,355
I don't know.
34
00:01:47,395 --> 00:01:49,176
You told him to stay there.
You showed him my key.
35
00:01:49,217 --> 00:01:50,512
I did?
I'm sorry.
36
00:01:50,593 --> 00:01:51,793
I thought she was out of town.
37
00:01:51,848 --> 00:01:53,063
Scotty?
Who's Scotty?
38
00:01:53,265 --> 00:01:54,601
I'm Scotty.
Scotty's my brother.
39
00:01:54,642 --> 00:01:56,059
Excuse me.
I thought you left.
40
00:01:56,140 --> 00:01:58,380
I did leave, but I needed
a place to stay for a few days,
41
00:01:58,529 --> 00:01:59,824
and I didn't want to bother you.
42
00:01:59,905 --> 00:02:02,213
So you broke into my house
like Robert downey, Jr.?
43
00:02:02,294 --> 00:02:03,387
You can't just come in and out like this.
44
00:02:03,508 --> 00:02:04,601
You should get up.
I'm kind of...
45
00:02:04,723 --> 00:02:06,342
I know. I'm sorry.
You have to call.
46
00:02:06,464 --> 00:02:07,800
I lost my phone.
Who loses their phone?
47
00:02:07,801 --> 00:02:09,131
Lots of people lose their phones.
48
00:02:09,145 --> 00:02:10,441
Can someone hand me
a towel or a throw blanket?
49
00:02:10,755 --> 00:02:12,125
My house is not a hostel.
50
00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:13,826
It is where I live and sleep.
51
00:02:13,866 --> 00:02:15,527
I didn't know he was coming.
A dishcloth maybe?
52
00:02:15,860 --> 00:02:17,354
I think I left it in monterey.
Then go back and get it.
53
00:02:17,479 --> 00:02:19,015
Oh, I'm not going back to monterey.
Why? What's her name?
54
00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:20,343
Whose name?
A tea kettle?
55
00:02:20,509 --> 00:02:21,961
Whoever it is that
chased him out of monterey.
56
00:02:22,169 --> 00:02:23,912
Baking sheet?
You are jumping to conclusions again.
57
00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:26,444
A skillet.
How about some pants?
58
00:02:26,568 --> 00:02:28,353
Before the baking sheet and the skillet,
59
00:02:28,519 --> 00:02:30,388
how about we find you your pants?
60
00:02:30,429 --> 00:02:31,429
Pants would work.
61
00:02:31,467 --> 00:02:32,837
Find his pants.
62
00:02:32,878 --> 00:02:33,916
Pants, pants, pants.
63
00:02:33,999 --> 00:02:34,829
Maybe I don't like aquariums.
64
00:02:34,950 --> 00:02:36,528
Or monterey Jack cheese.
65
00:02:36,545 --> 00:02:38,745
Maybe cheese and aquariums are
why I won't go back to monterey.
66
00:02:38,768 --> 00:02:40,055
Did you ever think of that?
I don't see any pants.
67
00:02:40,069 --> 00:02:41,065
Last night, you sure you had pants?
68
00:02:41,073 --> 00:02:42,567
Pretty sure.
69
00:02:42,585 --> 00:02:44,453
Retrace your steps.
You started this whole thing where?
70
00:02:44,478 --> 00:02:45,806
Car. We started in the car.
71
00:02:45,863 --> 00:02:47,482
How classy. Come on.
72
00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:49,769
Out there.
73
00:02:49,977 --> 00:02:52,052
Oh, got a belt!
74
00:02:52,645 --> 00:02:54,678
So, how's oceanography going?
75
00:03:12,184 --> 00:03:16,184
Bunheads 1x18 next!
Original air date February 25, 2013
76
00:03:16,194 --> 00:03:20,194
sync and corrections by atrn97g
for www.Addic7ed.Com
77
00:03:21,337 --> 00:03:24,616
huh. Well, if size counts, then it's big.
78
00:03:24,658 --> 00:03:26,110
What does it say?
79
00:03:26,235 --> 00:03:27,315
Welcome back, madame Fanny.
80
00:03:27,397 --> 00:03:29,555
Oh.
I was trying for surrealism.
81
00:03:29,721 --> 00:03:30,966
Were you trying to spell it properly?
82
00:03:31,091 --> 00:03:32,834
'Cause Fanny has two "n"s.
And an "f."
83
00:03:32,876 --> 00:03:34,453
And an "a."
It's all there. It's just surreal.
84
00:03:34,577 --> 00:03:35,656
Ginny, don't take this the wrong way,
85
00:03:35,781 --> 00:03:37,981
but you stink.
Oh, I won't. Thanks.
86
00:03:38,105 --> 00:03:39,807
I mean, you worked on this for hours.
87
00:03:39,848 --> 00:03:41,841
What exactly is Frankie
teaching you anyhow,
88
00:03:42,007 --> 00:03:43,874
'cause it sure ain't drawing.
89
00:03:43,916 --> 00:03:45,120
And what's all that at the bottom there?
90
00:03:45,203 --> 00:03:46,946
Pears.
Pears?
91
00:03:46,987 --> 00:03:48,025
I'm working on still lifes.
92
00:03:48,066 --> 00:03:49,270
I was practicing pears.
93
00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:50,557
Is she here yet?
94
00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:52,134
Not yet.
Good.
95
00:03:52,217 --> 00:03:53,836
I want to see her face when
she sees you tied flowers
96
00:03:54,043 --> 00:03:55,330
to her newly sanded barres.
97
00:03:55,413 --> 00:03:56,782
How loud do you think that'll be?
98
00:03:58,401 --> 00:04:00,933
Ooh, that's a big banner.
99
00:04:01,016 --> 00:04:02,389
Who's "tranny?"
100
00:04:02,431 --> 00:04:04,636
And people wonder why
Van gogh cut his ear off.
101
00:04:06,841 --> 00:04:09,421
Artists are so temperamental.
So's Ginny.
102
00:04:12,251 --> 00:04:15,080
Thank you, thank you.
103
00:04:16,162 --> 00:04:19,657
Thank you, thank you much.
104
00:04:19,699 --> 00:04:22,070
Oh, how I've missed you all.
105
00:04:22,154 --> 00:04:23,568
I thought about you daily
106
00:04:23,610 --> 00:04:25,982
as I chanted, as I meditated,
107
00:04:26,065 --> 00:04:27,396
as I drank the spiritual tea
108
00:04:27,521 --> 00:04:29,601
that opened my consciousness.
109
00:04:29,768 --> 00:04:31,016
And now I am back.
110
00:04:31,141 --> 00:04:32,888
And we have a lot of work to do.
111
00:04:33,013 --> 00:04:34,261
We'll start class in a minute.
112
00:04:35,801 --> 00:04:36,883
Spiritual tea, huh?
113
00:04:37,007 --> 00:04:39,629
Completely legal. With a prescription.
114
00:04:39,712 --> 00:04:41,293
Fanny, I'm so glad you're back.
115
00:04:41,335 --> 00:04:42,375
Did you hear?
116
00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:43,540
I don't know, did I?
117
00:04:43,706 --> 00:04:45,412
Yeah, I kind of meant to tell you.
118
00:04:45,495 --> 00:04:47,617
Sparkles is dead. Kaput.
119
00:04:47,701 --> 00:04:48,701
Swims with the fishes.
120
00:04:48,741 --> 00:04:50,197
What?
Yeah. Weirdly,
121
00:04:50,322 --> 00:04:51,861
only being open eight hours a week,
122
00:04:51,986 --> 00:04:53,650
not enough to keep a business going.
Who'd have thought?
123
00:04:53,775 --> 00:04:55,731
Truly.
Not your fault.
124
00:04:55,814 --> 00:04:57,354
I know.
You did your best.
125
00:04:57,437 --> 00:04:59,808
I know.
I tried. I failed.
126
00:04:59,892 --> 00:05:02,055
How could you leave this out?
127
00:05:02,180 --> 00:05:03,844
Trauma. Blackout.
128
00:05:03,969 --> 00:05:06,549
I'm sorry, truly.
129
00:05:06,715 --> 00:05:08,296
Don't be. That's how life works.
130
00:05:08,338 --> 00:05:10,293
Some people can be the funniest
guy in the sports bar,
131
00:05:10,418 --> 00:05:12,207
and wind up hosting
a late night television show,
132
00:05:12,249 --> 00:05:14,163
and other people are me. They lose.
133
00:05:14,329 --> 00:05:16,035
Whatever. Moving on. Lemonade.
134
00:05:16,202 --> 00:05:17,783
What?
I'm making lemonade.
135
00:05:17,866 --> 00:05:19,281
From life's lemons.
136
00:05:19,489 --> 00:05:21,028
Got it.
But now that my business is gone,
137
00:05:21,153 --> 00:05:22,776
I have plenty of time
to refresh your wardrobe.
138
00:05:22,901 --> 00:05:24,523
These costumes are in terrible shape,
139
00:05:24,606 --> 00:05:25,522
but when I get done with them,
140
00:05:25,605 --> 00:05:26,936
I will still be a gigantic loser
141
00:05:27,061 --> 00:05:29,100
and they will look fantastic.
142
00:05:29,183 --> 00:05:31,513
There's no place like home.
143
00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:35,080
All right, everyone to the barre.
144
00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:39,252
Where are you going?
145
00:05:39,294 --> 00:05:40,459
Over to the barre.
146
00:05:40,584 --> 00:05:42,414
Why?
I thought I'd take class.
147
00:05:42,498 --> 00:05:44,287
You're kidding.
148
00:05:44,370 --> 00:05:46,036
No. Just for fun.
149
00:05:46,198 --> 00:05:47,092
You mind?
150
00:05:47,173 --> 00:05:48,392
I do not mind.
151
00:05:48,432 --> 00:05:49,773
Okay, good.
152
00:05:49,854 --> 00:05:51,032
I'll be over there.
153
00:05:53,674 --> 00:05:54,933
Hold on to your socks, kid.
154
00:05:55,014 --> 00:05:57,289
You're gonna see some moves.
155
00:05:57,370 --> 00:05:59,726
First position. Port de bras.
156
00:05:59,848 --> 00:06:01,757
And down.
157
00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:05,657
Demi plie.
158
00:06:07,323 --> 00:06:08,323
Intimidated yet?
159
00:06:15,081 --> 00:06:16,950
Uh...
160
00:06:16,991 --> 00:06:18,372
That's right. I am working.
161
00:06:18,534 --> 00:06:19,875
Fanny asked me to help out
a little around here,
162
00:06:19,916 --> 00:06:20,972
and I said sure.
163
00:06:21,012 --> 00:06:21,947
She asked?
Yeah.
164
00:06:22,028 --> 00:06:24,100
Did she ask nicely?
Very nicely.
165
00:06:24,181 --> 00:06:25,560
Did she say "please, Scotty,"
166
00:06:25,561 --> 00:06:27,106
"would you be so kind as to help me"
167
00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:28,649
"and in exchange there'll be iced tea"
168
00:06:28,731 --> 00:06:30,559
"and tales of life from the old country."
169
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,160
In a very different set of words, yes.
170
00:06:32,265 --> 00:06:33,524
You want me to talk to her
and negotiate your release?
171
00:06:33,687 --> 00:06:35,880
No, I'm fine. In exchange
for me crashing on her couch,
172
00:06:35,961 --> 00:06:37,546
I'm doing some chores. Seems fair.
173
00:06:37,547 --> 00:06:38,642
Very fair.
174
00:06:38,724 --> 00:06:40,470
I mean, a little hard
work's good for a man.
175
00:06:40,471 --> 00:06:41,770
For a man, sure.
176
00:06:41,852 --> 00:06:43,558
Hey, I'm the son of a laborer,
so it's in my blood.
177
00:06:43,639 --> 00:06:45,305
Yeah, we don't know for sure that
you're the son of a laborer.
178
00:06:45,426 --> 00:06:47,417
Dad was a laborer.
My dad was a laborer.
179
00:06:47,539 --> 00:06:48,676
We have the same dad.
180
00:06:48,798 --> 00:06:49,814
Okay.
181
00:06:49,935 --> 00:06:52,170
We have the same nose.
Back to work.
182
00:07:05,273 --> 00:07:06,817
Okay.
183
00:07:06,831 --> 00:07:08,903
What weird place are you watching me from?
184
00:07:08,944 --> 00:07:10,528
Nothing weird about it.
185
00:07:10,568 --> 00:07:12,315
Hi.
You bring it?
186
00:07:12,396 --> 00:07:13,656
Be right down.
Wait.
187
00:07:13,696 --> 00:07:14,996
I could just come up.
188
00:07:16,256 --> 00:07:17,312
Never mind.
189
00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:24,705
Give me.
Hold on.
190
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:30,189
Now give me.
191
00:07:30,270 --> 00:07:31,350
I just want to go on record
192
00:07:31,571 --> 00:07:32,749
that I think this is very strange.
193
00:07:32,871 --> 00:07:34,212
Let the record so stipulate.
194
00:07:34,252 --> 00:07:35,674
What are you doing?
I'm gonna read it.
195
00:07:35,796 --> 00:07:36,933
In front of me?
196
00:07:36,974 --> 00:07:38,566
You can turn around if you want.
197
00:07:38,689 --> 00:07:39,889
Should we talk about it first?
198
00:07:39,954 --> 00:07:41,342
Nope.
199
00:07:41,465 --> 00:07:43,506
But I could just...
Shh.
200
00:07:45,580 --> 00:07:47,091
I've never heard of this.
201
00:07:47,172 --> 00:07:48,601
I've never heard of a girlfriend asking
202
00:07:48,724 --> 00:07:49,724
a boyfriend to do this.
203
00:07:49,785 --> 00:07:51,337
"Anna Karenina."
What?
204
00:07:51,378 --> 00:07:52,643
Have you read it?
No.
205
00:07:52,766 --> 00:07:53,991
Do you read anything Russian?
206
00:07:54,113 --> 00:07:55,787
Pussy riot's liner notes.
207
00:07:55,806 --> 00:07:57,398
In Russian society, a man would often
208
00:07:57,421 --> 00:07:58,850
show a woman his diaries so she would know
209
00:07:58,877 --> 00:08:00,673
of his past intimate relations.
210
00:08:00,972 --> 00:08:02,074
I don't...
211
00:08:02,087 --> 00:08:03,393
I just... what?
212
00:08:03,585 --> 00:08:05,177
Hmm.
213
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:06,369
Hmm? What hmm?
214
00:08:06,382 --> 00:08:07,606
What does this say?
215
00:08:07,831 --> 00:08:10,036
"Bathroom."
216
00:08:10,052 --> 00:08:11,236
Upstairs bathroom?
217
00:08:11,342 --> 00:08:13,057
Yes. Upstairs bathroom.
218
00:08:13,070 --> 00:08:14,132
Very romantic.
219
00:08:14,156 --> 00:08:15,339
Okay, seriously.
220
00:08:15,349 --> 00:08:16,655
Hold on.
221
00:08:22,161 --> 00:08:23,998
This is all of it?
Yes.
222
00:08:24,162 --> 00:08:25,264
And it's all true?
223
00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:26,938
Sasha, seriously?
224
00:08:28,530 --> 00:08:29,714
Yes, it's all true.
225
00:08:29,735 --> 00:08:31,653
It's 100% true, okay?
226
00:08:34,484 --> 00:08:35,750
Okay.
227
00:08:35,789 --> 00:08:36,810
Thank you.
228
00:08:36,858 --> 00:08:37,960
You're welcome.
229
00:08:38,313 --> 00:08:39,538
Dosveedanya.
230
00:08:45,535 --> 00:08:46,855
I couldn't date a cheerleader.
231
00:08:50,389 --> 00:08:52,390
Boy, he had a very active eighth grade.
232
00:08:52,431 --> 00:08:54,269
Was this when Jenny divucio
was fat or thin?
233
00:08:54,310 --> 00:08:55,290
Fat.
Wow.
234
00:08:55,331 --> 00:08:56,393
At least he's not shallow.
235
00:08:56,597 --> 00:08:57,495
You think it's all true?
236
00:08:57,577 --> 00:08:59,333
I'd say it's 60 to 65% true.
237
00:08:59,537 --> 00:09:01,089
The lemonade girls at
hot dog on a stick story
238
00:09:01,171 --> 00:09:02,600
smacks a bit of Howard stern.
239
00:09:02,723 --> 00:09:04,683
What are you going to do with
all this information anyhow?
240
00:09:04,806 --> 00:09:06,031
You know what they say,
knowledge is power.
241
00:09:06,153 --> 00:09:08,236
You know what else they say?
That was not an answer.
242
00:09:08,359 --> 00:09:10,319
Ridiculous. This is not
what we asked for, boo.
243
00:09:10,482 --> 00:09:11,722
And frankly, I don't appreciate
244
00:09:11,748 --> 00:09:13,014
Carl not taking it seriously.
245
00:09:13,096 --> 00:09:14,811
I think it's cute.
We asked him...
246
00:09:14,852 --> 00:09:16,404
You asked him
247
00:09:16,445 --> 00:09:18,365
for a full accounting of all
of his intimate experiences,
248
00:09:18,405 --> 00:09:19,671
and he gives you this.
So?
249
00:09:19,753 --> 00:09:21,060
It's a comic book.
250
00:09:21,223 --> 00:09:22,653
My pot roast is ready.
251
00:09:22,734 --> 00:09:24,491
Remember the jiffy pop days?
252
00:09:24,654 --> 00:09:25,920
We were just kids back then.
253
00:09:26,042 --> 00:09:28,003
It's not a comic book.
It's a graphic novel.
254
00:09:28,084 --> 00:09:30,249
This is not a list. We asked for a list.
255
00:09:30,412 --> 00:09:31,801
Well, he thought this
would be more creative.
256
00:09:31,964 --> 00:09:33,475
No one's even human in it.
257
00:09:33,557 --> 00:09:34,699
Yeah, which animal's supposed to be Carl?
258
00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:35,885
The muskrat in the jogging suit.
259
00:09:35,967 --> 00:09:37,233
It's not even about dating.
260
00:09:37,396 --> 00:09:39,642
On page five, the muskrat takes
the slow boat to China.
261
00:09:39,765 --> 00:09:41,195
God, that smells delicious.
262
00:09:41,318 --> 00:09:42,706
There's three heads of garlic in there.
263
00:09:42,747 --> 00:09:44,187
Good thing we don't have boyfriends.
264
00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:45,443
We're gonna reek for a month.
265
00:09:45,565 --> 00:09:47,566
You know, the drawings
are pretty good here, boo.
266
00:09:47,689 --> 00:09:49,200
Maybe I should try
a different style of art.
267
00:09:49,241 --> 00:09:50,262
You think Carl could give me some tips?
268
00:09:50,303 --> 00:09:51,814
You cheating on your art teacher?
269
00:09:51,936 --> 00:09:52,957
Just trying to keep him interested.
270
00:09:53,121 --> 00:09:54,713
My pears sure aren't doing it.
271
00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:57,327
Yeah, I know how that sounded
and you know what I mean.
272
00:09:57,450 --> 00:09:59,818
This is your relationship, boo.
273
00:09:59,941 --> 00:10:01,248
Don't you care?
About what?
274
00:10:01,289 --> 00:10:02,595
About the things Carl's done.
275
00:10:02,718 --> 00:10:03,780
No, not really.
276
00:10:03,861 --> 00:10:05,373
But what he's done affects you.
277
00:10:05,495 --> 00:10:07,455
How?
What if you're not experienced enough, huh?
278
00:10:07,496 --> 00:10:09,252
That can ruin some relationships.
279
00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:12,030
I'm not experienced enough.
It seems to be fine so far.
280
00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:13,500
Yeah, how experienced you are
doesn't matter to a lot of guys.
281
00:10:13,622 --> 00:10:14,888
What if he's got a kid?
282
00:10:14,970 --> 00:10:16,023
Carl doesn't have a kid.
283
00:10:16,104 --> 00:10:17,440
He doesn't even have a bike.
284
00:10:17,561 --> 00:10:18,654
So maybe it's not a kid,
285
00:10:18,816 --> 00:10:20,395
but it could be a myriad of other things,
286
00:10:20,476 --> 00:10:22,703
and I find it astonishing that
I'm the only person in this room
287
00:10:22,743 --> 00:10:24,241
who comprehends how important this is.
288
00:10:24,282 --> 00:10:26,022
My popovers are ready.
289
00:10:38,289 --> 00:10:40,759
Sasha?
Yeah?
290
00:10:40,799 --> 00:10:42,540
I know you're mad about the comic book,
291
00:10:42,621 --> 00:10:45,010
but can I bring Carl a piece of pie?
292
00:10:45,172 --> 00:10:47,115
I thought it was a graphic novel.
293
00:10:48,937 --> 00:10:50,070
I'm not mad.
294
00:10:50,151 --> 00:10:51,151
Take him pie.
295
00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:56,386
Oh, shoot! We were supposed to do
296
00:10:56,467 --> 00:10:57,762
the face masks tonight.
297
00:10:57,884 --> 00:10:59,746
We'll do it next time.
298
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:02,094
I was really looking forward
to a healthy youthful glow.
299
00:11:04,685 --> 00:11:06,305
Okay, come on.
300
00:11:06,386 --> 00:11:08,207
Really?
301
00:11:08,288 --> 00:11:09,503
Should we wake them?
302
00:11:09,624 --> 00:11:10,904
They look youthful enough to me.
303
00:11:13,147 --> 00:11:15,211
You know, I read that French
women don't go to the gym.
304
00:11:15,292 --> 00:11:16,466
They just use weight loss cream.
305
00:11:16,588 --> 00:11:17,681
Sounds ridiculous.
306
00:11:17,762 --> 00:11:19,381
Yeah, but it'd be nice if it worked.
307
00:11:21,771 --> 00:11:23,269
Boo...
308
00:11:23,309 --> 00:11:24,240
I think we need to step it up.
309
00:11:24,321 --> 00:11:25,415
Step what up?
310
00:11:25,455 --> 00:11:27,844
I think we need to
consider having sex now.
311
00:11:27,884 --> 00:11:29,908
With each other?
312
00:11:29,989 --> 00:11:31,001
No, with Roman and Carl.
313
00:11:32,621 --> 00:11:33,916
Me with Roman, you with Carl.
314
00:11:34,038 --> 00:11:35,617
But Carl and I are waiting.
315
00:11:35,698 --> 00:11:37,641
A year and a half is a long time.
316
00:11:37,722 --> 00:11:39,503
Time that includes dances,
317
00:11:39,544 --> 00:11:40,556
parties.
318
00:11:40,718 --> 00:11:42,256
Friday night parties that he can go to
319
00:11:42,378 --> 00:11:44,523
and you can't because
you have class in the morning.
320
00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:46,062
And there's girls at these parties.
321
00:11:46,102 --> 00:11:47,195
Party girls.
322
00:11:47,236 --> 00:11:48,248
That time also includes camp.
323
00:11:48,288 --> 00:11:49,543
Six weeks where you're apart.
324
00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:50,920
And he'll be a junior counselor this year.
325
00:11:51,041 --> 00:11:52,256
He'll wear the gray shorts.
326
00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:53,673
He'll be doing bed checks.
327
00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:55,940
He'll have privileges, power.
328
00:11:56,021 --> 00:11:58,086
That's a big turnon to a lot of girls.
329
00:11:58,126 --> 00:11:59,705
I know.
Plus, in a year and a half
330
00:11:59,867 --> 00:12:01,325
you're not the new girlfriend anymore.
331
00:12:01,365 --> 00:12:02,590
You're just the old girlfriend
who made him wait
332
00:12:02,591 --> 00:12:03,937
a year and a half.
333
00:12:03,978 --> 00:12:05,571
You're planning on
doing it with him anyhow,
334
00:12:05,652 --> 00:12:07,082
so what's the difference
if you just move it up a bit?
335
00:12:07,204 --> 00:12:09,327
You're ready? With Roman?
336
00:12:09,491 --> 00:12:10,716
I think timing is important.
337
00:12:10,838 --> 00:12:12,512
We should strike while the iron is hot.
338
00:12:12,635 --> 00:12:14,309
But what do we do?
339
00:12:14,431 --> 00:12:16,191
How do we work this?
I need to shave my legs.
340
00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:18,147
Hey. What are you guys doing?
341
00:12:18,188 --> 00:12:20,556
We're going to have sex.
342
00:12:20,597 --> 00:12:22,190
How long were we asleep?
343
00:12:22,271 --> 00:12:24,436
Boo and I made some decisions
tonight regarding our future,
344
00:12:24,558 --> 00:12:25,865
and tomorrow we'll start
putting a plan in motion.
345
00:12:25,946 --> 00:12:27,580
What does that mean?
346
00:12:27,784 --> 00:12:29,172
We'll start with research.
What time can we all meet at the library?
347
00:12:29,254 --> 00:12:30,887
All? You're the horndogs.
348
00:12:30,969 --> 00:12:32,725
We've got potential spinster buddy comedy
349
00:12:32,847 --> 00:12:34,235
written all over our faces.
350
00:12:34,358 --> 00:12:35,869
This isn't about boyfriends.
351
00:12:35,950 --> 00:12:37,339
This is about information.
352
00:12:37,461 --> 00:12:39,013
We are young women in a frantic time,
353
00:12:39,135 --> 00:12:40,156
and we grow up quickly.
354
00:12:40,238 --> 00:12:41,626
We need to be ready for anything.
355
00:12:41,749 --> 00:12:43,096
Ignorance is not bliss.
356
00:12:43,137 --> 00:12:44,974
I'm an intelligent woman and I will not
357
00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:46,363
have ignorant friends.
358
00:12:46,444 --> 00:12:48,037
10:00. I'll bring muffins.
359
00:12:53,590 --> 00:12:56,081
♪ A smile is something special ♪
360
00:12:56,244 --> 00:12:59,022
♪ a ribbon is something rare ♪
361
00:12:59,185 --> 00:13:01,635
♪ so I'll be special and I'll be rare ♪
362
00:13:03,023 --> 00:13:05,351
♪ and a ribbon ♪ in my hair ♪♪
363
00:13:07,638 --> 00:13:10,128
♪ to be a girl they notice ♪
364
00:13:10,210 --> 00:13:12,660
♪ takes more than a fancy dress ♪
365
00:13:12,864 --> 00:13:14,375
♪ so I'll be noticed ♪
366
00:13:14,498 --> 00:13:15,600
♪ because I'll dress ♪
367
00:13:15,763 --> 00:13:16,866
♪ with a smile ♪
368
00:13:16,907 --> 00:13:20,010
♪ and a ribbon in my tresses ♪
369
00:13:21,684 --> 00:13:23,971
♪ the bigger my toothy grin is ♪
370
00:13:24,093 --> 00:13:26,788
♪ the smaller my troubles grow ♪
371
00:13:26,870 --> 00:13:29,646
♪ the louder I say I'm happy ♪
372
00:13:29,769 --> 00:13:31,933
♪ the more I believe it's so ♪
373
00:13:32,137 --> 00:13:34,873
♪ so I'll have that extra something ♪
374
00:13:34,955 --> 00:13:37,854
♪ 'cause I'll know what to wear ♪
375
00:13:37,936 --> 00:13:40,875
♪ so I'll be special and I'll be rare ♪
376
00:13:40,998 --> 00:13:43,734
♪ I'll be something beyond compare ♪
377
00:13:43,815 --> 00:13:45,081
♪ I'll be noticed ♪
378
00:13:45,122 --> 00:13:47,327
♪ because I'll wear a smile ♪
379
00:13:47,490 --> 00:13:50,430
♪ and a ribbon in my hair ♪
380
00:13:52,064 --> 00:13:54,718
♪ the bigger my toothy grin is ♪
381
00:13:54,759 --> 00:13:57,413
♪ the smaller my troubles grow ♪
382
00:13:57,617 --> 00:14:00,067
♪ the louder I say I'm happy ♪
383
00:14:00,108 --> 00:14:02,639
♪ the more I believe it's so ♪
384
00:14:02,762 --> 00:14:05,579
♪ so I'll have that extra something ♪
385
00:14:05,702 --> 00:14:08,560
♪ 'cause I'll know what to wear ♪
386
00:14:08,642 --> 00:14:11,500
♪ so I'll be special and I'll be rare ♪
387
00:14:11,623 --> 00:14:14,399
♪ I'll be something beyond compare ♪
388
00:14:14,522 --> 00:14:15,869
♪ I'll be noticed ♪
389
00:14:15,910 --> 00:14:18,074
♪ because I'll wear a smile ♪
390
00:14:18,115 --> 00:14:23,668
♪ and a ribbon in my hair. ♪
391
00:14:28,854 --> 00:14:30,068
Oh, milly.
392
00:14:30,149 --> 00:14:31,282
It could not be helped.
393
00:14:31,403 --> 00:14:33,912
I need that amphitheater
done for the fall recital.
394
00:14:34,033 --> 00:14:35,448
Well, I'm sorry.
395
00:14:35,449 --> 00:14:37,027
Ben was too stupid to live.
396
00:14:37,230 --> 00:14:38,809
When I find myself acting
out simple commands
397
00:14:38,849 --> 00:14:40,225
like "you put big thing there,"
398
00:14:40,265 --> 00:14:41,398
they have to go.
399
00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:42,774
I'll find another concrete guy.
400
00:14:42,855 --> 00:14:44,959
Fine.
This is why they had plagues, you know.
401
00:14:44,999 --> 00:14:46,416
To kill dumb guys like Ben.
402
00:14:46,537 --> 00:14:47,629
You know what you have to do, milly?
403
00:14:47,670 --> 00:14:49,369
You have to do something about that.
404
00:14:49,450 --> 00:14:50,502
Like what?
405
00:14:50,543 --> 00:14:51,918
What do you mean "like what?"
She's your sister.
406
00:14:51,959 --> 00:14:53,577
She's a wreck.
Why?
407
00:14:53,618 --> 00:14:55,965
She's devastated about
sparkles going down.
408
00:14:56,005 --> 00:14:57,866
Oh, well I'm not sure
what I can do about that.
409
00:14:57,988 --> 00:14:59,485
Really?
410
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:00,861
Well, let's think about that.
411
00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:02,277
What could you do?
412
00:15:02,358 --> 00:15:04,988
What could you do to help your sister,
413
00:15:05,109 --> 00:15:06,444
who used to have a business
414
00:15:06,525 --> 00:15:08,063
and now doesn't have a business
415
00:15:08,144 --> 00:15:09,762
and is sitting in the middle of my business
416
00:15:09,884 --> 00:15:11,907
doing that?
Boy, that's really upsetting.
417
00:15:11,988 --> 00:15:13,242
She misses sparkles.
418
00:15:13,323 --> 00:15:14,323
So she needs work.
419
00:15:14,375 --> 00:15:16,115
Well...
I tried that once.
420
00:15:16,155 --> 00:15:18,017
I got her a job on an assembly line.
421
00:15:18,098 --> 00:15:19,311
Total disaster.
422
00:15:19,392 --> 00:15:21,213
I'm not talking about an assembly line.
423
00:15:21,415 --> 00:15:22,953
All she had to do was screw on a nut.
424
00:15:22,994 --> 00:15:25,502
I'm not talking about
an assembly line, milly.
425
00:15:25,624 --> 00:15:27,485
She's useless on
a loading dock too, fyi.
426
00:15:27,525 --> 00:15:29,832
Well, maybe if you think real hard
427
00:15:29,913 --> 00:15:31,207
you'll come up with something.
428
00:15:31,248 --> 00:15:32,928
I wonder how she'd be at pouring concrete.
429
00:15:32,988 --> 00:15:34,040
Hey, sorry.
430
00:15:34,161 --> 00:15:35,496
I didn't know the place was packed.
431
00:15:35,577 --> 00:15:36,577
What do you need?
432
00:15:36,710 --> 00:15:37,803
Oh, nothing.
433
00:15:37,884 --> 00:15:39,745
You're dressed in dance clothes.
434
00:15:39,907 --> 00:15:40,907
Yeah, I am.
435
00:15:40,999 --> 00:15:42,051
I was feeling a little bloaty
436
00:15:42,092 --> 00:15:43,629
so I thought I'd spin around a little.
437
00:15:43,670 --> 00:15:45,531
See if I could fling it off
438
00:15:45,571 --> 00:15:46,664
or something.
439
00:15:46,704 --> 00:15:48,282
Charming. I'm done.
440
00:15:48,363 --> 00:15:50,872
Let's go, ladies.
Michelle needs the studio.
441
00:15:50,912 --> 00:15:52,005
It's all yours.
442
00:15:52,086 --> 00:15:53,583
Try and fling it away from the mirror
443
00:15:53,745 --> 00:15:54,595
if possible.
444
00:15:54,675 --> 00:15:55,675
Will do.
445
00:15:58,803 --> 00:16:00,017
The tutus hate me.
446
00:16:00,138 --> 00:16:01,554
They don't hate you.
447
00:16:01,635 --> 00:16:02,880
They know I failed.
448
00:16:22,095 --> 00:16:23,190
Okay.
449
00:16:23,311 --> 00:16:24,527
Okay.
450
00:16:26,635 --> 00:16:28,054
Aha! I've been looking for you.
451
00:16:28,176 --> 00:16:29,311
Do you have a minute?
452
00:16:29,432 --> 00:16:31,013
Actually, I'm heading over to Fanny's.
453
00:16:31,135 --> 00:16:33,000
Okay, then I'd like
to make an appointment.
454
00:16:33,243 --> 00:16:35,189
How's Sunday?
Appointment to...?
455
00:16:35,310 --> 00:16:37,459
Talk. About sex.
456
00:16:38,877 --> 00:16:40,824
On a Sunday? Is that legal?
457
00:16:41,027 --> 00:16:42,243
I'm sorry. I didn't mean sex exactly
458
00:16:42,324 --> 00:16:43,459
like "sex" sex.
459
00:16:43,621 --> 00:16:44,635
Oh, good.
460
00:16:44,716 --> 00:16:45,810
I know about sex.
Great.
461
00:16:45,891 --> 00:16:47,594
It's more like the mechanics of sex.
462
00:16:47,675 --> 00:16:48,972
You know, not what goes where.
463
00:16:49,094 --> 00:16:50,894
I'm up on that.
Penis, vagina, blah blah blah.
464
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:52,053
Boring.
465
00:16:52,175 --> 00:16:53,455
I just have questions, you know?
466
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:54,607
Things to talk through.
467
00:16:56,107 --> 00:16:58,782
Boy, there are a lot of balls
hanging from this ceiling.
468
00:16:58,985 --> 00:17:01,174
See, I always wanted a dog
469
00:17:01,296 --> 00:17:02,350
from the time I was five.
470
00:17:02,471 --> 00:17:03,850
But I decided, "if I'm gonna own a dog,"
471
00:17:03,931 --> 00:17:04,782
"I'm gonna do it properly."
472
00:17:04,944 --> 00:17:06,024
So I bought a lot of books,
473
00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:07,903
and I went to shelters and dog parks
474
00:17:08,065 --> 00:17:09,849
and I bought more books,
and I read all the books,
475
00:17:09,971 --> 00:17:11,876
and I dog sat, and I made lists of names...
476
00:17:11,917 --> 00:17:13,173
And you never got a dog, did you?
477
00:17:13,214 --> 00:17:15,605
No. Because I over
intellectualize, you know?
478
00:17:15,727 --> 00:17:16,984
No. No, I don't.
479
00:17:17,105 --> 00:17:18,443
I can't be alone with lists anymore.
480
00:17:18,524 --> 00:17:20,065
I need interaction. Debate.
481
00:17:20,105 --> 00:17:22,051
So how's Sunday, 4:00?
482
00:17:22,172 --> 00:17:23,753
Oh, well I don't have my...
483
00:17:23,835 --> 00:17:25,942
Thing with the day numbers on it.
484
00:17:26,024 --> 00:17:27,604
4:30? 5:00?
485
00:17:27,726 --> 00:17:30,199
Sure. 5:00. Pencil me in.
486
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:32,388
Thanks, Michelle.
Yeah, so...
487
00:17:32,591 --> 00:17:33,888
Monday at 4:00.
Sunday at 5:00.
488
00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:35,063
Even better.
489
00:17:36,644 --> 00:17:38,023
Stupid mulch.
490
00:17:38,144 --> 00:17:40,576
Hey, I think the plants
go inside the pots.
491
00:17:40,698 --> 00:17:42,441
Yeah, how helpful. Thanks for stopping by.
492
00:17:42,482 --> 00:17:44,346
Help me out over here.
493
00:17:45,644 --> 00:17:47,265
Scotty is also great at drywall
494
00:17:47,468 --> 00:17:49,657
and anything involving hot tar, fyi.
495
00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:51,319
I'll keep that in mind.
496
00:17:51,481 --> 00:17:52,940
Ooh, gonna be a dj?
497
00:17:53,062 --> 00:17:54,971
I have the choreography for the recital
498
00:17:55,053 --> 00:17:56,271
all worked out in my head,
499
00:17:56,393 --> 00:17:57,449
but I can't find the right music.
500
00:17:57,612 --> 00:17:59,765
I hate when that happens.
501
00:17:59,805 --> 00:18:01,227
Listen, I need Saturday off.
502
00:18:01,349 --> 00:18:02,649
Why?
503
00:18:02,730 --> 00:18:04,570
I'm a mule for the cartel.
Saturday's my shift.
504
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:05,777
Anything wrong?
505
00:18:05,980 --> 00:18:06,752
No. I just need the day off.
506
00:18:06,874 --> 00:18:08,255
Okay.
507
00:18:08,377 --> 00:18:09,474
Thanks.
508
00:18:09,677 --> 00:18:11,037
It's not gonna be a regular thing.
509
00:18:13,861 --> 00:18:16,014
Hey, Fanny?
Hmm?
510
00:18:16,055 --> 00:18:19,021
What do you say when
the girls ask you about sex?
511
00:18:19,224 --> 00:18:21,052
They never ask me about sex.
512
00:18:21,134 --> 00:18:22,515
Oh.
Why?
513
00:18:22,637 --> 00:18:24,465
No reason.
Did they ask you about sex?
514
00:18:24,627 --> 00:18:25,724
Just making conversation.
515
00:18:25,846 --> 00:18:27,836
Just making conversation?
516
00:18:27,958 --> 00:18:29,958
"What do you say when
the girls ask you about sex?"
517
00:18:29,989 --> 00:18:31,330
That's just making conversation?
518
00:18:31,371 --> 00:18:33,199
Yes.
"How's the weather?"
519
00:18:33,402 --> 00:18:34,742
That's just making conversation.
520
00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:36,773
Fine.
"What happened to the taste of tomatoes?"
521
00:18:36,855 --> 00:18:38,277
That's just making conversation.
522
00:18:38,439 --> 00:18:40,023
Sorry I brought it up.
Someone asked you about sex.
523
00:18:40,105 --> 00:18:42,501
Who was it?
No one. I was just talking hypothetically.
524
00:18:42,542 --> 00:18:44,045
Michelle, tell me who it was.
525
00:18:44,126 --> 00:18:46,442
No one, I swear.
I was just watching a morning show
526
00:18:46,523 --> 00:18:47,579
and there was a doctor on
527
00:18:47,620 --> 00:18:48,798
talking about girls and sex.
528
00:18:48,879 --> 00:18:49,879
What show?
529
00:18:49,976 --> 00:18:51,560
You know, the show with the doctor
530
00:18:51,682 --> 00:18:53,185
who was talking about girls and sex.
531
00:18:53,266 --> 00:18:54,810
I love that show.
532
00:18:54,851 --> 00:18:55,907
Anyhow, I just thought I should be ready
533
00:18:55,988 --> 00:18:57,735
just in case one day
some girl came up to me
534
00:18:57,816 --> 00:18:58,832
and asked me about sex.
535
00:18:58,954 --> 00:19:00,335
So, okay. They haven't asked you.
536
00:19:00,538 --> 00:19:02,624
And if they haven't asked you,
they probably don't care.
537
00:19:02,706 --> 00:19:03,933
Which is good.
538
00:19:04,097 --> 00:19:05,774
Wow. Look at the time.
539
00:19:05,938 --> 00:19:07,451
I gotta go.
Good luck with the music search.
540
00:19:07,533 --> 00:19:08,719
Thanks for Saturday.
541
00:19:14,610 --> 00:19:15,878
Waiting for a call?
542
00:19:15,959 --> 00:19:17,146
No.
Very believable.
543
00:19:17,228 --> 00:19:18,864
Hey, anybody else get this?
544
00:19:18,905 --> 00:19:20,465
What?
Michelle's not teaching today.
545
00:19:20,582 --> 00:19:21,604
I got the same text. She's sick.
546
00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:22,727
So who's teaching? Fanny?
547
00:19:24,427 --> 00:19:25,572
Jordan.
548
00:19:25,613 --> 00:19:26,840
Pass.
My house?
549
00:19:26,922 --> 00:19:28,354
Stop for tacos?
I'll make ziti.
550
00:19:28,518 --> 00:19:30,317
Hey. I thought she was sick.
551
00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:31,749
She doesn't look sick.
552
00:19:31,872 --> 00:19:33,794
She's got a lot of
stuff in that bag of hers.
553
00:19:33,917 --> 00:19:35,022
She's not taking off again, is she?
554
00:19:35,062 --> 00:19:36,494
No, not again.
555
00:19:41,403 --> 00:19:43,039
I think.
556
00:20:02,470 --> 00:20:03,779
Come on.
557
00:20:03,820 --> 00:20:05,456
Where are we going?
Thelma, Louise, Louise,
558
00:20:05,620 --> 00:20:07,334
it's time for a road trip.
559
00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:31,550
Sorry. Excuse me.
560
00:20:31,591 --> 00:20:32,613
Union? Nonunion?
561
00:20:32,654 --> 00:20:33,759
Union.
562
00:20:33,882 --> 00:20:34,741
Equity card.
563
00:20:34,742 --> 00:20:35,804
Yes.
564
00:20:36,009 --> 00:20:37,031
I almost forgot it.
565
00:20:37,113 --> 00:20:38,136
That would have been tragic.
566
00:20:38,218 --> 00:20:39,363
For me. You I assume
567
00:20:39,486 --> 00:20:40,631
could withstand such a blow.
568
00:20:40,754 --> 00:20:41,899
Break a leg.
569
00:20:41,981 --> 00:20:43,086
If anyone can.
570
00:20:45,990 --> 00:20:47,217
Union? Nonunion?
571
00:20:48,935 --> 00:20:49,935
Sorry. Excuse me.
572
00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:51,104
Pardon me.
573
00:20:51,144 --> 00:20:52,167
Sorry. Excuse me.
574
00:20:52,208 --> 00:20:53,558
Coming through. Beep beep.
575
00:20:53,681 --> 00:20:54,949
Excuse me. Thank you.
576
00:20:56,258 --> 00:20:58,058
Excuse me.
577
00:20:59,162 --> 00:21:00,717
Excuse me. Thank you very much.
578
00:21:00,798 --> 00:21:01,944
Sorry. Sorry sorry sorry.
579
00:21:02,148 --> 00:21:03,785
Sorry. Sorry. Excuse me.
580
00:21:03,948 --> 00:21:05,585
Coming through. Thank you.
581
00:21:07,221 --> 00:21:08,366
God. Okay.
582
00:21:08,448 --> 00:21:09,676
Wow.
583
00:21:09,758 --> 00:21:11,313
Here we go.
584
00:21:11,394 --> 00:21:13,644
Ay yi yi.
585
00:21:13,685 --> 00:21:15,567
All right.
586
00:21:38,679 --> 00:21:41,093
Oh, thank god we are
finally out of that car.
587
00:21:41,134 --> 00:21:42,934
If we're gonna trail someone
all the way to L.A. again,
588
00:21:42,975 --> 00:21:44,202
you have got to get a better sound system.
589
00:21:44,325 --> 00:21:45,961
Look around.
She pulled into the parking lot.
590
00:21:46,002 --> 00:21:47,229
Where are we?
Church?
591
00:21:47,311 --> 00:21:48,334
We're at church?
592
00:21:48,374 --> 00:21:50,256
We drove an hour and a
half to go to church?!
593
00:21:50,461 --> 00:21:51,852
My grandmother's gonna have a stroke.
594
00:21:51,933 --> 00:21:53,079
Maybe we're in the wrong place.
595
00:21:53,120 --> 00:21:54,838
I can't imagine Michelle being...
596
00:22:04,287 --> 00:22:05,596
Wow. So close.
597
00:22:05,719 --> 00:22:07,119
Wait, are we supposed to be hiding?
598
00:22:07,151 --> 00:22:08,133
I'm unclear on the agenda.
599
00:22:08,173 --> 00:22:09,293
The agenda's still evolving.
600
00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:10,382
Shouldn't we go say hi?
601
00:22:10,464 --> 00:22:11,814
Why?
Didn't we come to say hi?
602
00:22:11,937 --> 00:22:12,977
No.
What are you doing?
603
00:22:13,041 --> 00:22:14,719
Using my powers for good instead of evil.
604
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:15,782
What's the name of this place?
605
00:22:15,823 --> 00:22:17,418
Hollywood united methodist church.
606
00:22:17,623 --> 00:22:18,809
I'm not supposed to be here.
607
00:22:18,973 --> 00:22:19,750
You'll be home before dark.
608
00:22:19,832 --> 00:22:20,930
No, I mean I'm lutheran.
609
00:22:21,051 --> 00:22:22,190
I got it.
610
00:22:22,352 --> 00:22:24,112
It's an audition.
For what, "sister act"?
611
00:22:24,263 --> 00:22:26,742
It's "for an open call
for dancers who sing"
612
00:22:26,824 --> 00:22:29,100
"for a new Broadway musical based
on the movie 'dark victory.'"
613
00:22:29,140 --> 00:22:30,279
dark what?
On it.
614
00:22:30,360 --> 00:22:31,295
She's going to move back to New York.
615
00:22:31,457 --> 00:22:32,596
She doesn't have the job yet.
616
00:22:32,636 --> 00:22:34,628
"'Dark victory.' The 1939 American film"
617
00:22:34,709 --> 00:22:35,909
"directed by Edmund goulding,"
618
00:22:35,969 --> 00:22:37,433
"starring Bette Davis, George Brent,"
619
00:22:37,473 --> 00:22:38,449
"Geraldine Fitzgerald, and Ronald Reagan."
620
00:22:38,571 --> 00:22:39,953
Sounds like a barn burner.
621
00:22:40,075 --> 00:22:41,294
"Bette Davis is a hedonistic"
622
00:22:41,376 --> 00:22:42,796
"long island heiress with a passion for"
623
00:22:42,797 --> 00:22:44,668
"horses, fast cars, and too much
smoking and drinking."
624
00:22:44,750 --> 00:22:46,172
That sounds perfect for Michelle.
625
00:22:46,253 --> 00:22:48,164
"One day, she falls off her horse
and ends up with a brain tumor."
626
00:22:48,286 --> 00:22:49,872
That's your 11:00 number right there.
627
00:22:49,953 --> 00:22:51,051
"She falls in love with her doctor,"
628
00:22:51,295 --> 00:22:52,189
"he doesn't tell her she's dying,"
629
00:22:52,270 --> 00:22:54,059
"she goes blind, and scene."
630
00:22:54,262 --> 00:22:56,051
I can't believe she's auditioning again.
631
00:22:56,132 --> 00:22:56,986
So we should go wish her luck, right?
632
00:22:57,148 --> 00:22:58,205
Sure. What?
Wait.
633
00:22:58,246 --> 00:22:59,303
Maybe that would be bad.
634
00:22:59,343 --> 00:23:00,644
Like bad luck. We'd jinx her.
635
00:23:00,725 --> 00:23:01,985
I don't believe in jinxes.
636
00:23:02,148 --> 00:23:03,327
Maybe Melanie's right. I don't want to be
637
00:23:03,367 --> 00:23:04,790
the reason she doesn't get the job.
638
00:23:04,871 --> 00:23:06,416
So are we wishing her luck or not?
639
00:23:06,497 --> 00:23:08,286
I don't know. I so rarely agree with boo.
640
00:23:08,367 --> 00:23:09,383
I'm a little thrown here.
641
00:23:09,424 --> 00:23:10,644
Wish her luck, don't wish her luck,
642
00:23:10,725 --> 00:23:11,741
I don't care.
643
00:23:11,822 --> 00:23:13,662
I want to get a better
look at this freak show.
644
00:23:30,439 --> 00:23:33,244
♪ They say the neon lights are bright ♪
645
00:23:33,407 --> 00:23:35,642
♪ on Broadway ♪
646
00:23:38,122 --> 00:23:39,788
♪ they say there's always ♪
647
00:23:39,870 --> 00:23:43,447
♪ magic in the air ♪
648
00:23:46,048 --> 00:23:49,951
♪ but when you're walking
down that street ♪
649
00:23:50,032 --> 00:23:53,812
♪ and you ain't had enough to eat ♪
650
00:23:53,975 --> 00:23:55,438
♪ the glitter rubs right off ♪
651
00:23:55,519 --> 00:24:00,235
♪ and you're nowhere ♪
652
00:24:03,161 --> 00:24:07,429
♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪
653
00:24:09,584 --> 00:24:11,088
♪ they say the women treat you fine ♪
654
00:24:11,169 --> 00:24:15,559
Holy moly.
♪ on Broadway ♪
655
00:24:17,551 --> 00:24:19,055
♪ but looking at them ♪
656
00:24:19,136 --> 00:24:23,160
♪ just gives me the blues... ♪
657
00:24:23,242 --> 00:24:25,355
All right. All right, all right.
658
00:24:25,518 --> 00:24:26,954
Thank you all for coming out today.
659
00:24:27,077 --> 00:24:29,621
At least the weather's beautiful
and you could get a tan.
660
00:24:31,426 --> 00:24:33,600
We are looking for very specific types
661
00:24:33,641 --> 00:24:34,666
for our chorus,
662
00:24:34,707 --> 00:24:36,512
so I apologize in advance
663
00:24:36,553 --> 00:24:38,809
if this has been a waste of time.
664
00:24:38,932 --> 00:24:40,901
Okay, form your lines, please.
665
00:24:44,429 --> 00:24:46,029
No. No.
666
00:24:46,111 --> 00:24:47,382
No. No.
667
00:24:47,423 --> 00:24:48,982
No. No.
668
00:24:49,064 --> 00:24:50,582
No.
669
00:24:50,746 --> 00:24:52,017
No.
670
00:24:52,182 --> 00:24:53,289
No.
671
00:24:53,330 --> 00:24:54,889
No.
672
00:24:54,930 --> 00:24:56,201
No.
673
00:24:56,242 --> 00:24:57,596
No.
674
00:24:57,678 --> 00:24:59,196
No.
675
00:24:59,319 --> 00:25:01,083
No. No.
676
00:25:01,206 --> 00:25:02,436
No.
677
00:25:02,477 --> 00:25:04,733
Thank you very much.
678
00:25:04,815 --> 00:25:05,636
No.
679
00:25:05,718 --> 00:25:06,743
No.
680
00:25:06,784 --> 00:25:08,384
No. No. No.
681
00:25:08,425 --> 00:25:09,656
No.
682
00:25:09,738 --> 00:25:11,297
No.
683
00:25:11,379 --> 00:25:12,896
No. No.
684
00:25:12,937 --> 00:25:14,249
No.
685
00:25:14,250 --> 00:25:15,604
No.
686
00:25:15,686 --> 00:25:18,516
Wait.
687
00:25:18,639 --> 00:25:20,526
No.
688
00:25:20,567 --> 00:25:22,085
No. No.
689
00:25:22,290 --> 00:25:23,602
No.
690
00:25:25,079 --> 00:25:26,187
Oh dear.
691
00:25:26,310 --> 00:25:28,361
Suck your stomach in for god's sake.
692
00:25:32,011 --> 00:25:32,873
No.
693
00:25:32,955 --> 00:25:33,955
No.
694
00:25:33,980 --> 00:25:35,416
No.
695
00:25:35,621 --> 00:25:37,180
No.
696
00:25:37,221 --> 00:25:39,354
10 years off my life.
697
00:25:39,395 --> 00:25:41,815
Thank you very much.
698
00:25:41,856 --> 00:25:43,333
No. No.
699
00:25:43,456 --> 00:25:45,014
No. No.
700
00:25:45,096 --> 00:25:46,614
No. No. No.
701
00:25:46,655 --> 00:25:47,927
No.
702
00:25:48,009 --> 00:25:49,650
No. No.
703
00:25:49,732 --> 00:25:51,003
No.
704
00:25:51,208 --> 00:25:52,521
No.
705
00:25:52,603 --> 00:25:54,490
No.
706
00:25:54,613 --> 00:25:55,801
All right.
707
00:25:55,802 --> 00:25:57,156
Everybody left onto the floor
708
00:25:57,361 --> 00:25:58,920
and we'll show you the combination.
709
00:26:03,555 --> 00:26:05,319
And you have...
710
00:26:05,524 --> 00:26:08,005
Walk one, two...
711
00:26:08,006 --> 00:26:09,732
One, two, three, four, five, six.
712
00:26:11,117 --> 00:26:12,983
And one... three.
713
00:26:13,104 --> 00:26:14,890
Five six seven.
714
00:26:15,012 --> 00:26:17,202
One two three four.
715
00:26:17,283 --> 00:26:19,230
Six seven eight.
716
00:26:19,352 --> 00:26:20,690
One... three.
717
00:26:20,771 --> 00:26:22,353
Four. Six.
718
00:26:22,516 --> 00:26:23,692
And one.
719
00:26:23,814 --> 00:26:24,949
Three. Four.
720
00:26:25,071 --> 00:26:26,896
Five seven and eight.
721
00:26:27,018 --> 00:26:28,072
That doesn't look so bad.
722
00:26:28,113 --> 00:26:29,393
Yeah, she can handle that right?
723
00:26:29,492 --> 00:26:31,763
It's easy. Totally easy.
724
00:26:31,804 --> 00:26:33,142
Boo! Where are you going?
725
00:26:33,224 --> 00:26:34,400
Out there.
To do what?
726
00:26:34,481 --> 00:26:35,820
Audition.
Boo, you can't.
727
00:26:35,901 --> 00:26:37,117
What do we do?
728
00:26:37,158 --> 00:26:38,334
Come on.
729
00:26:43,526 --> 00:26:45,189
Hey, excuse me.
730
00:26:45,270 --> 00:26:46,690
Was the kick on five or six?
731
00:26:46,771 --> 00:26:48,312
Five.
Thanks.
732
00:26:48,353 --> 00:26:49,975
It's on six.
Oh.
733
00:26:50,056 --> 00:26:51,557
Oh, thanks.
734
00:26:51,679 --> 00:26:52,896
Okay. Once up to tempo
735
00:26:52,936 --> 00:26:54,315
and I'll break you into groups.
736
00:26:56,059 --> 00:26:57,682
Five six seven eight.
737
00:27:15,488 --> 00:27:16,867
Okay, everybody.
738
00:27:17,029 --> 00:27:18,976
Grab your stuff. Go back outside.
739
00:27:19,057 --> 00:27:21,369
I will bring you in in groups of 10.
740
00:27:21,572 --> 00:27:23,032
Okay.
741
00:27:23,073 --> 00:27:24,290
Good luck, mother Teresa.
742
00:27:24,330 --> 00:27:25,628
Bless you, my child.
743
00:27:26,886 --> 00:27:27,818
That was fun.
744
00:27:27,859 --> 00:27:29,644
Yeah.
745
00:27:29,684 --> 00:27:31,226
Boo!
746
00:27:31,307 --> 00:27:33,091
Where are you going?
Outside. He said.
747
00:27:33,213 --> 00:27:34,511
That's for the dancers.
Yeah.
748
00:27:34,673 --> 00:27:36,012
You can't audition.
Why not?
749
00:27:36,052 --> 00:27:38,121
Are you crazy?
This is my chance.
750
00:27:38,202 --> 00:27:39,962
To do what?
Get a job in a Broadway show.
751
00:27:39,987 --> 00:27:42,380
Boo's gone byebye.
Come on.
752
00:27:42,501 --> 00:27:43,515
Stop. Sasha. No.
753
00:27:43,597 --> 00:27:44,732
Stop!
754
00:27:44,773 --> 00:27:46,395
Stop, Sasha. Let go.
755
00:27:46,436 --> 00:27:48,099
You can't audition. You're 17 years old
756
00:27:48,221 --> 00:27:49,397
and you're not even supposed to be here.
757
00:27:49,518 --> 00:27:51,019
Well, that's how it happens.
How what happens?
758
00:27:51,100 --> 00:27:52,805
That's how you get famous.
759
00:27:52,886 --> 00:27:53,819
You've heard the stories.
760
00:27:53,900 --> 00:27:55,140
Someone sneaks into an audition
761
00:27:55,211 --> 00:27:56,113
and gets discovered.
762
00:27:56,235 --> 00:27:58,447
Or they're in a pharmacy or a pizza place.
763
00:27:58,448 --> 00:28:00,333
Natalie Portman was discovered
in a pizza place,
764
00:28:00,415 --> 00:28:01,615
but I'm cutting down on carbs.
765
00:28:01,644 --> 00:28:02,709
You're not gonna get discovered, boo.
766
00:28:02,791 --> 00:28:04,348
You know, Sasha, you're bossy.
767
00:28:04,430 --> 00:28:06,315
Ouch.
And you've been bossy since the second grade.
768
00:28:06,438 --> 00:28:07,667
And I am sick of it.
769
00:28:07,831 --> 00:28:08,951
I can audition if I want to.
770
00:28:09,060 --> 00:28:11,068
Fine.
I don't need your permission.
771
00:28:11,150 --> 00:28:12,256
Great.
Guys.
772
00:28:12,379 --> 00:28:13,485
And you know what? I'm going to have sex
773
00:28:13,649 --> 00:28:15,206
a year and a half from now
two days before prom
774
00:28:15,329 --> 00:28:16,558
just like I had planned.
775
00:28:16,681 --> 00:28:17,787
I thought it was the day before prom.
776
00:28:17,869 --> 00:28:19,549
Well, we built in a little slush time
777
00:28:19,631 --> 00:28:21,352
in case it's awful
and we need to try again
778
00:28:21,393 --> 00:28:24,261
so we don't go to prom and look at
each other weird all night, okay?
779
00:28:24,343 --> 00:28:25,823
Hey, you're missing Michelle's group.
780
00:28:41,715 --> 00:28:43,354
All right.
781
00:28:43,436 --> 00:28:44,911
Hmm.
782
00:28:46,345 --> 00:28:48,148
You...
783
00:28:48,230 --> 00:28:49,582
And you.
784
00:28:49,664 --> 00:28:51,221
Stay and sing.
785
00:28:51,385 --> 00:28:53,106
The rest of you, thank you very much.
786
00:28:53,229 --> 00:28:55,729
I will need your pictures and resumes.
787
00:29:03,963 --> 00:29:05,357
Stupid bag.
788
00:29:05,479 --> 00:29:06,586
Stupid audition.
789
00:29:06,668 --> 00:29:09,249
Four hours my ass
for this stupid audition.
790
00:29:18,058 --> 00:29:19,410
It was nice to meet you.
791
00:29:30,842 --> 00:29:31,842
Yes. Yeah.
792
00:29:55,303 --> 00:29:56,574
Really?
793
00:29:56,696 --> 00:29:57,598
What? Bad?
794
00:29:57,639 --> 00:29:58,786
Freaking hathaway.
795
00:29:58,909 --> 00:29:59,989
Everybody's doing this now.
796
00:30:00,056 --> 00:30:01,367
If I hear this one more time,
797
00:30:01,449 --> 00:30:03,009
I'm taking hostages. What else you got?
798
00:30:03,047 --> 00:30:04,399
Uh...
799
00:30:04,604 --> 00:30:05,956
Ah, perfect. Sing that.
800
00:30:05,997 --> 00:30:07,841
The show's about a broad
dying of brain cancer.
801
00:30:07,882 --> 00:30:09,402
We don't all have to go down with her.
802
00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:10,955
You start in "f"?
How'd you know?
803
00:30:11,119 --> 00:30:12,471
Because I'm a terrific plumber.
804
00:30:12,512 --> 00:30:14,315
Go sing.
805
00:30:14,397 --> 00:30:16,077
Okay.
806
00:30:19,641 --> 00:30:21,320
Hi. I'm Michelle Simms.
807
00:30:21,321 --> 00:30:23,124
Nice to meet you, Michelle.
What are you singing?
808
00:30:23,206 --> 00:30:24,526
"If my friends could see me now."
809
00:30:24,558 --> 00:30:27,547
Thank god no more "les miz."
810
00:30:30,454 --> 00:30:31,747
♪ If they could see me now ♪
811
00:30:31,828 --> 00:30:33,766
♪ That little gang of mine ♪
812
00:30:33,807 --> 00:30:35,099
♪ I'm eating fancy chow ♪
813
00:30:35,220 --> 00:30:36,634
♪ And drinking fancy wine ♪
814
00:30:36,714 --> 00:30:38,330
♪ I'd like those stumble bumbs ♪
815
00:30:38,370 --> 00:30:39,743
♪ To see for a fact ♪
816
00:30:39,905 --> 00:30:40,995
She sounds good.
817
00:30:41,036 --> 00:30:43,176
Are the producers smiling?
818
00:30:43,297 --> 00:30:44,792
♪ All I can say is whoa ♪
819
00:30:44,953 --> 00:30:46,690
♪ look and here I am ♪
820
00:30:46,811 --> 00:30:47,982
Look at her.
821
00:30:48,144 --> 00:30:49,598
♪ Right in a part of jail ♪
822
00:30:49,719 --> 00:30:52,465
♪ What a setup, holy cow ♪
823
00:30:52,586 --> 00:30:53,717
♪ They'd never believe it ♪
824
00:30:53,798 --> 00:30:54,606
♪ If my friends ♪
825
00:30:54,767 --> 00:30:56,140
♪ Could see ♪
826
00:30:56,221 --> 00:30:57,221
♪ Me ♪
827
00:30:57,271 --> 00:31:00,260
♪ Now ♪
828
00:31:00,381 --> 00:31:01,310
♪ They'd never believe it ♪
829
00:31:01,431 --> 00:31:03,127
♪ If my friends could see me now. ♪
830
00:31:03,289 --> 00:31:05,147
Thank you, Michelle. That was great.
831
00:31:05,187 --> 00:31:06,076
This is a good time to break.
832
00:31:06,197 --> 00:31:07,197
10 minutes?
833
00:31:07,247 --> 00:31:08,337
Everybody tinkle.
834
00:31:26,149 --> 00:31:27,239
Are you gonna smoke?
835
00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:29,016
No.
Oh.
836
00:31:29,057 --> 00:31:30,617
I just wanted to stand next to somebody
837
00:31:30,672 --> 00:31:31,924
who still smokes.
838
00:31:32,005 --> 00:31:34,428
You were terrific, by the way.
839
00:31:34,509 --> 00:31:35,922
Yeah?
Best I heard all day.
840
00:31:36,044 --> 00:31:37,053
I mean it.
841
00:31:43,313 --> 00:31:45,211
Apparently the Jews are
leaving Egypt again.
842
00:31:45,252 --> 00:31:46,252
Who are they?
843
00:31:46,302 --> 00:31:47,392
Those are the dancers.
844
00:31:47,473 --> 00:31:48,765
The dancers?
845
00:31:48,887 --> 00:31:50,058
For the show.
846
00:31:50,219 --> 00:31:51,835
For this show?
Yep.
847
00:31:51,916 --> 00:31:54,339
So the spots we just auditioned for are...
848
00:31:54,500 --> 00:31:56,560
Gone. Weeks ago.
849
00:31:56,600 --> 00:32:00,033
This choreographer hires the
same girls no matter what.
850
00:32:00,074 --> 00:32:01,714
The unions make us hold these open calls.
851
00:32:01,770 --> 00:32:03,547
So annoying. I hate these things.
852
00:32:03,587 --> 00:32:04,799
You hate these things.
853
00:32:04,839 --> 00:32:06,172
Hey, listen. If you're ever in New York
854
00:32:06,334 --> 00:32:08,353
I'm always putting together
showcases and benefits.
855
00:32:08,434 --> 00:32:10,130
I'd kill to have a triplethreat like you
856
00:32:10,211 --> 00:32:12,028
who can belt a "c" in the mask
857
00:32:12,149 --> 00:32:13,280
with vibrato.
858
00:32:13,321 --> 00:32:15,744
I'll give you my card.
859
00:32:15,824 --> 00:32:17,723
If I can find one.
860
00:32:17,844 --> 00:32:18,975
Seth, we're back.
861
00:32:19,096 --> 00:32:20,307
Oh, crap. I'll find you.
862
00:32:20,388 --> 00:32:21,519
Coming.
863
00:32:45,953 --> 00:32:48,546
Next time, we say hi.
864
00:32:54,100 --> 00:32:55,238
What did I do now?
865
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:56,416
What are you talking about?
866
00:32:56,498 --> 00:32:57,799
You said "come over, it's important."
867
00:32:57,840 --> 00:32:59,059
Meaning I did something to upset mom
868
00:32:59,100 --> 00:33:00,319
and you called me over
here to tell me what,
869
00:33:00,441 --> 00:33:01,497
so just tell me.
870
00:33:01,538 --> 00:33:02,738
Nothing. This isn't about mom.
871
00:33:02,838 --> 00:33:04,179
Oh.
872
00:33:04,261 --> 00:33:05,398
Though she does resent
the fact that you never
873
00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:07,390
paid her back for college
and didn't graduate.
874
00:33:07,430 --> 00:33:08,650
Have a seat.
875
00:33:08,771 --> 00:33:10,356
I don't have very long.
876
00:33:10,397 --> 00:33:12,023
I need to get back to the dance studio.
877
00:33:12,104 --> 00:33:13,864
I'm going at a snail's pace
on those costumes
878
00:33:13,933 --> 00:33:15,396
and I'm sure Fanny's
sick of seeing me by now.
879
00:33:15,517 --> 00:33:16,452
What's with the pictures?
880
00:33:16,493 --> 00:33:18,443
This is a recently vacated building
881
00:33:18,647 --> 00:33:19,744
that I own.
882
00:33:19,906 --> 00:33:22,344
I thought maybe you could
reopen sparkles there.
883
00:33:22,345 --> 00:33:24,011
I can't afford it.
884
00:33:24,052 --> 00:33:25,352
How do you know?
I know.
885
00:33:25,393 --> 00:33:26,393
I know what you charge.
886
00:33:26,449 --> 00:33:27,790
Well, I would give you a family discount.
887
00:33:27,912 --> 00:33:30,147
This is a better family discount.
888
00:33:30,188 --> 00:33:32,028
How much better?
Well, the previous tenants
889
00:33:32,098 --> 00:33:33,236
are paid up for the rest of the year,
890
00:33:33,317 --> 00:33:35,146
so... free.
891
00:33:35,187 --> 00:33:36,568
Completely free?
892
00:33:36,690 --> 00:33:38,275
No rent.
893
00:33:38,356 --> 00:33:39,454
My god, milly...
894
00:33:39,575 --> 00:33:40,957
You do know what free means, right?
895
00:33:40,998 --> 00:33:42,678
Yes.
That means I don't give you money.
896
00:33:42,705 --> 00:33:43,905
I know what free means, truly.
897
00:33:43,964 --> 00:33:46,362
Give me a break.
898
00:33:46,484 --> 00:33:49,532
I'm sorry about sparkles.
899
00:33:49,613 --> 00:33:51,198
About ruining it for you.
900
00:33:54,530 --> 00:33:55,993
Looks like a nice space.
901
00:33:56,034 --> 00:33:58,147
It has asbestos in the bathroom.
902
00:33:58,188 --> 00:33:59,529
I'll have it removed.
903
00:33:59,692 --> 00:34:01,398
Unless you don't think
you'll need a bathroom.
904
00:34:01,439 --> 00:34:02,861
Then I guess...
I'm gonna need a bathroom.
905
00:34:02,983 --> 00:34:04,934
Right. Of course you will.
906
00:34:07,494 --> 00:34:09,120
Well...
907
00:34:09,201 --> 00:34:10,786
We should toast, right?
908
00:34:10,908 --> 00:34:12,046
Celebrate a new chapter
909
00:34:12,127 --> 00:34:14,159
in the stone sisters' saga?
910
00:34:14,321 --> 00:34:16,272
Yes. Yes we should.
911
00:34:20,783 --> 00:34:22,815
I would like two shots of something blue
912
00:34:22,937 --> 00:34:24,928
that won't make me throw up immediately.
913
00:34:25,091 --> 00:34:26,391
Excuse me.
914
00:34:26,432 --> 00:34:28,260
I'm looking for Millicent stone.
915
00:34:28,342 --> 00:34:29,398
I'm milly stone.
916
00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:32,040
I have a package for you
from Fanny flowers.
917
00:34:33,137 --> 00:34:34,808
Well, thank you.
918
00:34:34,931 --> 00:34:36,563
She's got me
delivering packages now.
919
00:34:36,644 --> 00:34:37,908
I'm a messenger boy.
920
00:34:37,949 --> 00:34:39,457
The next thing you know
I'll be wearing a uniform.
921
00:34:39,539 --> 00:34:41,219
Little hat like an organ grinder's monkey.
922
00:34:41,414 --> 00:34:42,759
You'd look good in a hat.
923
00:34:42,882 --> 00:34:44,349
That's what my life's become.
924
00:34:44,390 --> 00:34:45,817
Michelle should have warned me,
925
00:34:45,939 --> 00:34:47,203
but she's sadistic, my sister.
926
00:34:47,325 --> 00:34:48,589
You're Michelle's brother?
927
00:34:48,671 --> 00:34:50,191
Michelle never said she had a brother.
928
00:34:50,220 --> 00:34:51,940
Yeah, she's got a brother,
and he's in hell.
929
00:34:52,014 --> 00:34:53,481
Okay. Here's your package,
930
00:34:53,563 --> 00:34:55,887
and she wants a signature.
931
00:34:55,968 --> 00:34:57,844
That's my phone number.
932
00:34:57,925 --> 00:34:59,597
Just in case.
933
00:35:00,738 --> 00:35:01,798
Thank you.
934
00:35:06,609 --> 00:35:09,259
God, he's cute.
So cute.
935
00:35:09,299 --> 00:35:11,012
He kind of looks like her.
But cute.
936
00:35:11,052 --> 00:35:13,458
It's been so long since
I thought anyone was cute.
937
00:35:13,539 --> 00:35:15,129
I know, I could just...
938
00:35:20,674 --> 00:35:21,815
Oh, crap.
939
00:35:23,201 --> 00:35:24,873
Fanny, I'm back.
940
00:35:24,954 --> 00:35:27,034
So I see.
I was wondering if you wanted me to sub
941
00:35:27,115 --> 00:35:28,501
for you tonight? You know, in exchange...
942
00:35:28,542 --> 00:35:29,602
Holy hell. What is that?
943
00:35:29,684 --> 00:35:31,029
I don't have time to talk to you.
944
00:35:31,151 --> 00:35:32,863
That is the most repulsive
thing I have ever seen.
945
00:35:32,986 --> 00:35:35,513
Has the fall recital taken a
very disturbing thematic turn?
946
00:35:35,595 --> 00:35:37,155
Go home, Michelle. We'll talk tomorrow.
947
00:35:40,324 --> 00:35:41,466
What the...?
948
00:35:41,588 --> 00:35:42,811
Michelle, please leave.
949
00:35:42,933 --> 00:35:44,727
Where on earth did you get all this stuff?
950
00:35:44,809 --> 00:35:46,439
My friend Colleen used to be a midwife.
951
00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:47,662
For the borgias?
What?
952
00:35:47,785 --> 00:35:49,048
This stuff is ancient.
953
00:35:49,130 --> 00:35:50,190
Not all of it.
954
00:35:50,231 --> 00:35:51,631
This tells you how to make a condom
955
00:35:51,861 --> 00:35:53,696
out of a yak's stomach, and build an ark.
956
00:35:53,737 --> 00:35:55,123
I can't even... where's his head?
957
00:35:55,245 --> 00:35:57,205
In the pelvis.
Oh, sweet Jesus and Mary chain.
958
00:35:57,284 --> 00:35:59,567
Just go away.
I may never close my eyes again.
959
00:35:59,648 --> 00:36:00,953
I mean it, Michelle.
960
00:36:01,075 --> 00:36:02,298
What are they doing sitting there?
961
00:36:02,380 --> 00:36:03,562
What's going on?
962
00:36:03,644 --> 00:36:05,274
I have decided to devote tonight's class
963
00:36:05,397 --> 00:36:07,353
to the subject of sexual education.
964
00:36:07,435 --> 00:36:08,740
No.
965
00:36:08,821 --> 00:36:11,145
Someone came to you with
questions about sex.
966
00:36:11,226 --> 00:36:12,898
I know this because you may be
967
00:36:13,020 --> 00:36:14,732
one of the worst liars in history.
968
00:36:14,814 --> 00:36:16,414
Now since I don't know which one it was,
969
00:36:16,489 --> 00:36:17,591
I'm going to have to talk to them all.
970
00:36:17,795 --> 00:36:19,102
Fanny, no. Don't.
Why not?
971
00:36:19,143 --> 00:36:20,449
They don't want to hear this from you.
972
00:36:20,490 --> 00:36:21,970
Why, because I'm a hideous old woman?
973
00:36:22,001 --> 00:36:23,185
You're not hideous.
974
00:36:23,266 --> 00:36:25,512
You think I don't know about sex?
975
00:36:25,594 --> 00:36:27,472
I know all about sex.
976
00:36:27,513 --> 00:36:30,044
I have passages in my diaries
977
00:36:30,126 --> 00:36:32,330
that would make anais nin blush.
978
00:36:32,453 --> 00:36:35,515
I am no stranger to
clandestine carnal knowings.
979
00:36:35,719 --> 00:36:37,883
And I can explain it all to them.
980
00:36:37,924 --> 00:36:40,251
Not if you use the words
"clandestine carnal knowings."
981
00:36:40,333 --> 00:36:42,701
Go away, Michelle.
982
00:36:51,642 --> 00:36:53,316
Fanny, please. I'm gonna handle this.
983
00:36:53,438 --> 00:36:54,459
You are?
Yes.
984
00:36:54,541 --> 00:36:55,684
When?
On Sunday.
985
00:36:55,806 --> 00:36:56,786
What?
When this person came to me,
986
00:36:56,909 --> 00:36:58,549
we made an appointment to talk on Sunday.
987
00:36:58,583 --> 00:37:00,461
You're kidding.
Sunday at 6:00.
988
00:37:00,542 --> 00:37:01,808
Or 5:00... 4:00.
989
00:37:01,971 --> 00:37:04,625
Sunday sometime between 3:00 and 8:00.
990
00:37:04,707 --> 00:37:06,830
You made an appointment to discuss sex
991
00:37:07,034 --> 00:37:09,525
with a young girl on Sunday
between 3:00 and 8:00
992
00:37:09,606 --> 00:37:10,913
like you're the cable guy?
993
00:37:11,076 --> 00:37:12,276
Well, you make that sound bad.
994
00:37:12,342 --> 00:37:14,542
You would put something this
important off until Sunday?
995
00:37:14,587 --> 00:37:15,771
She could be pregnant by Sunday.
996
00:37:15,853 --> 00:37:17,037
She's not gonna be pregnant by Sunday.
997
00:37:17,159 --> 00:37:18,874
Why not?
Because she's smart, Fanny.
998
00:37:18,915 --> 00:37:20,548
She came to you for sex advice.
999
00:37:20,711 --> 00:37:22,426
Okay, we're not talking mensa smart,
1000
00:37:22,508 --> 00:37:24,835
but she's smart enough not
to get pregnant in two days.
1001
00:37:24,998 --> 00:37:28,346
I feel a great responsibility
to all these kids, Michelle.
1002
00:37:28,510 --> 00:37:30,510
So please just let me handle this.
1003
00:37:30,633 --> 00:37:32,552
All right, Shania, pass these out.
1004
00:37:33,776 --> 00:37:34,754
All right.
1005
00:37:34,755 --> 00:37:36,430
Everyone's going to get one of these.
1006
00:37:36,634 --> 00:37:38,757
Now the first thing to know
1007
00:37:38,839 --> 00:37:40,431
is that sex is not impersonal.
1008
00:37:40,595 --> 00:37:42,228
It is human to human.
1009
00:37:42,310 --> 00:37:43,820
It is intimate.
1010
00:37:43,902 --> 00:37:45,168
We are going to talk about
1011
00:37:45,249 --> 00:37:48,638
how to truly interact
with the opposite sex.
1012
00:37:48,720 --> 00:37:50,679
Everyone, name your bananas.
1013
00:37:50,802 --> 00:37:52,394
Oh my god. Fanny.
1014
00:37:52,395 --> 00:37:53,701
Go away.
1015
00:37:53,741 --> 00:37:55,457
Name it anything you like.
1016
00:37:55,498 --> 00:37:58,479
But a name that you have
positive feelings towards.
1017
00:37:58,520 --> 00:37:59,786
This is insane.
1018
00:37:59,950 --> 00:38:02,196
Go away if you don't want to watch.
1019
00:38:03,421 --> 00:38:04,850
Now everyone,
1020
00:38:05,014 --> 00:38:09,098
pretend your banana has
just asked you to have sex.
1021
00:38:11,181 --> 00:38:12,242
This isn't gonna work.
1022
00:38:12,324 --> 00:38:13,958
I'm allergic to bananas.
1023
00:38:19,308 --> 00:38:20,125
Made a break for it?
1024
00:38:20,288 --> 00:38:21,391
Clean getaway.
1025
00:38:21,472 --> 00:38:22,738
Don't worry. After hundreds of thousands
1026
00:38:22,779 --> 00:38:24,004
of dollars of therapy,
1027
00:38:24,127 --> 00:38:25,066
you'll forget what just happened in there.
1028
00:38:25,148 --> 00:38:26,292
Oh, so there's hope.
1029
00:38:26,414 --> 00:38:28,415
Heavy drinking may speed things along.
1030
00:38:33,806 --> 00:38:36,093
So, how was the audition today?
1031
00:38:38,707 --> 00:38:39,973
It was fine.
1032
00:38:40,014 --> 00:38:41,852
Yeah?
1033
00:38:41,933 --> 00:38:43,526
Yeah.
1034
00:38:43,608 --> 00:38:45,119
Good.
1035
00:38:47,855 --> 00:38:49,815
You okay?
1036
00:38:51,694 --> 00:38:53,614
Hey, what's wrong?
1037
00:38:53,695 --> 00:38:55,574
Ginny?
1038
00:38:55,696 --> 00:38:57,289
My banana's name is Frankie.
1039
00:38:57,371 --> 00:38:58,882
What?
1040
00:39:00,516 --> 00:39:01,863
I slept with Frankie.
1041
00:39:06,478 --> 00:39:08,316
I didn't even know
you were dating Frankie.
1042
00:39:08,357 --> 00:39:09,582
I'm not.
1043
00:39:09,664 --> 00:39:11,297
He doesn't date. He just...
1044
00:39:11,338 --> 00:39:13,462
Exists with the rest of humanity.
1045
00:39:13,666 --> 00:39:15,096
What does that mean?
1046
00:39:15,218 --> 00:39:16,443
I don't know.
1047
00:39:16,607 --> 00:39:18,771
I never know what he's talking about.
1048
00:39:18,812 --> 00:39:21,712
And he can go for hours without
saying anything at all.
1049
00:39:23,713 --> 00:39:25,061
He's just so beautiful.
1050
00:39:26,817 --> 00:39:27,879
I know.
1051
00:39:29,961 --> 00:39:31,146
Can you love someone you've never had
1052
00:39:31,187 --> 00:39:32,289
a conversation with?
1053
00:39:37,109 --> 00:39:38,335
When did you?
1054
00:39:38,416 --> 00:39:40,335
Last week.
1055
00:39:40,336 --> 00:39:42,337
And since?
1056
00:39:44,338 --> 00:39:45,808
Haven't seen him.
1057
00:39:45,849 --> 00:39:49,157
He hasn't called.
I don't think he has my number.
1058
00:39:49,198 --> 00:39:50,505
I'm not sure he knows my name.
1059
00:39:50,628 --> 00:39:52,343
I'm sure he knows your name.
1060
00:39:52,384 --> 00:39:54,017
I wrote him a note.
1061
00:39:54,099 --> 00:39:55,283
A note?
A thank you note.
1062
00:39:55,365 --> 00:39:56,672
You wrote him a thank you note?
1063
00:39:56,794 --> 00:39:58,346
I wrote it, I proofed it, I sent it.
1064
00:39:58,428 --> 00:40:00,288
I have a copy.
1065
00:40:00,371 --> 00:40:01,735
What does it say?
1066
00:40:04,257 --> 00:40:06,159
"Dear Frankie, I just wanted to tell you"
1067
00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:07,978
"that I enjoyed our encounter very much."
1068
00:40:08,061 --> 00:40:09,342
"As far as first times go,"
1069
00:40:09,343 --> 00:40:10,831
"this seemed successful."
1070
00:40:10,996 --> 00:40:12,071
"Good luck. Ginny."
1071
00:40:12,195 --> 00:40:13,849
Good luck? Good luck with what?
1072
00:40:15,916 --> 00:40:17,032
I don't know.
1073
00:40:17,197 --> 00:40:19,678
Why did I write this? Why did I send it?
1074
00:40:19,802 --> 00:40:21,332
Why did I...
1075
00:40:21,497 --> 00:40:23,647
I'm an idiot.
1076
00:40:23,771 --> 00:40:25,714
No.
1077
00:40:25,797 --> 00:40:27,657
He's never gonna talk to me again.
1078
00:40:27,781 --> 00:40:29,476
You don't know that.
1079
00:40:32,081 --> 00:40:33,734
He was just so beautiful.
1080
00:40:46,261 --> 00:40:48,121
♪ Another bride ♪
1081
00:40:48,204 --> 00:40:50,106
♪ another June ♪
1082
00:40:50,188 --> 00:40:53,082
♪ another sunny ♪
1083
00:40:53,165 --> 00:40:54,695
♪ honeymoon ♪
1084
00:40:54,777 --> 00:40:57,093
♪ another season ♪
1085
00:40:57,134 --> 00:40:58,828
♪ another reason ♪
1086
00:40:58,829 --> 00:41:01,185
♪ for makin' whoopee ♪
1087
00:41:03,749 --> 00:41:05,609
♪ a lot of shoes ♪
1088
00:41:05,774 --> 00:41:07,263
♪ a lot of rice ♪
1089
00:41:07,387 --> 00:41:09,867
♪ the groom is nervous ♪
1090
00:41:09,950 --> 00:41:12,224
♪ he answers twice ♪
1091
00:41:12,306 --> 00:41:14,208
♪ it's really killing ♪
1092
00:41:14,250 --> 00:41:16,194
♪ but he's so willing ♪
1093
00:41:16,276 --> 00:41:18,343
♪ to make whoopee ♪
1094
00:41:21,899 --> 00:41:25,454
♪ picture a little love nest ♪
1095
00:41:25,620 --> 00:41:29,423
♪ down where the roses cling ♪
1096
00:41:29,506 --> 00:41:33,681
♪ picture the same sweet love nest ♪
1097
00:41:33,764 --> 00:41:37,940
♪ think what a year can bring ♪
1098
00:41:38,105 --> 00:41:39,676
♪ she sits alone ♪
1099
00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:41,991
♪ most every night ♪
1100
00:41:42,115 --> 00:41:44,637
♪ he doesn't phone her ♪
1101
00:41:44,678 --> 00:41:46,291
♪ he doesn't write ♪
1102
00:41:46,373 --> 00:41:48,606
♪ he says he's busy
1103
00:41:48,730 --> 00:41:50,880
♪ but she says "is he?" ♪
1104
00:41:50,921 --> 00:41:52,988
♪ he's makin' whoopee ♪
1105
00:41:56,337 --> 00:41:59,810
♪ he doesn't make much money ♪
1106
00:41:59,851 --> 00:42:03,489
♪ only 5,000 per ♪
1107
00:42:03,572 --> 00:42:07,706
♪ some judge who thinks he's funny ♪
1108
00:42:07,747 --> 00:42:14,693
♪ says you'll pay six to her ♪
1109
00:42:14,775 --> 00:42:16,636
♪ he says "now, judge ♪ suppose I fail" ♪♪
1110
00:42:16,719 --> 00:42:19,571
♪ The judge says "budge right ♪
1111
00:42:19,695 --> 00:42:21,307
♪ into jail" ♪
1112
00:42:21,514 --> 00:42:23,540
♪ you'd better keep her ♪
1113
00:42:23,623 --> 00:42:25,566
♪ I think it's cheaper ♪
1114
00:42:25,648 --> 00:42:27,302
♪ than makin' whoopee ♪
1115
00:42:29,948 --> 00:42:31,560
♪ than makin' whoopee. ♪
1116
00:42:31,562 --> 00:42:39,562
Sync and corrections by atrn97g
for www.Addic7ed.Com
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