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1
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I don't understand.
2
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I got a call on the way back from Vegas.
3
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Well, your way back from Vegas,
4
00:00:08,766 --> 00:00:10,200
you and hubbell. Anyhow,
5
00:00:10,201 --> 00:00:11,568
he called me and told me to put
6
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everything in her name, your name...
7
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The will, the land, the house.
8
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He had me add her to his car insurance
9
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and credit card.
10
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I sent in a change of address form
11
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and reregistered her to vote.
12
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And signed her up for a
subscription to "rolling stone."
13
00:00:23,781 --> 00:00:25,214
Starts next month.
14
00:00:25,215 --> 00:00:27,483
I don't understand.
15
00:00:27,484 --> 00:00:28,584
It can't start this month,
16
00:00:28,585 --> 00:00:30,052
because we're already half way in.
17
00:00:30,053 --> 00:00:32,555
I understand how
a magazine subscription works.
18
00:00:32,556 --> 00:00:34,190
I don't understand how my son
19
00:00:34,191 --> 00:00:35,991
could give away my home.
20
00:00:35,992 --> 00:00:37,026
He did not give it away,
21
00:00:37,027 --> 00:00:38,394
he just put it in her name.
22
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My house, my land,
23
00:00:40,763 --> 00:00:42,664
my studio, in her name?
24
00:00:42,665 --> 00:00:44,432
Yes.
I don't understand.
25
00:00:44,433 --> 00:00:46,334
Help?
Jerry,
26
00:00:46,335 --> 00:00:48,136
I think what Fanny is trying to say is...
27
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She doesn't understand.
28
00:00:51,340 --> 00:00:53,308
Oh, boy.
And I don't understand.
29
00:00:53,309 --> 00:00:55,043
Actually, there's a general
lack of understanding
30
00:00:55,044 --> 00:00:57,044
on this side of the table.
31
00:00:57,679 --> 00:00:59,112
I got a call on the way back from Vegas...
32
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Hubbell and I were married
33
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for two days. That's it.
34
00:01:03,017 --> 00:01:04,618
Less if you count
the time I was conscious,
35
00:01:04,619 --> 00:01:06,487
which was basically from valet parking
36
00:01:06,488 --> 00:01:08,522
to the nickel slots bathroom
at whiskey Pete's.
37
00:01:08,523 --> 00:01:10,924
So we're actually talking
about 16 hours, tops.
38
00:01:10,925 --> 00:01:13,359
Maybe we should continue this tomorrow.
I mean, you're upset.
39
00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:16,360
I'm explaining this badly.
Does she own everything?
40
00:01:17,298 --> 00:01:20,466
Yes.
You're explaining it just fine.
41
00:01:20,467 --> 00:01:21,934
Why would he leave everything to me?
It doesn't make sense.
42
00:01:21,935 --> 00:01:24,404
You were his wife.
For seconds.
43
00:01:24,405 --> 00:01:26,673
But you have to understand all
hubbell ever wanted in life
44
00:01:26,674 --> 00:01:29,608
was to be married. He's talked
about it since the fourth grade.
45
00:01:29,609 --> 00:01:31,476
He dressed up as a groom for Halloween
46
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ever year six years in a row.
47
00:01:34,180 --> 00:01:35,780
People kept thinking he was a
waiter until he finally convinced
48
00:01:35,781 --> 00:01:37,082
that weird, old shutin lady
down the street
49
00:01:37,083 --> 00:01:38,684
to go with him as his bride.
50
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Sissy merkowski.
Sissy merkowski.
51
00:01:40,453 --> 00:01:42,521
She still lives there.
52
00:01:42,522 --> 00:01:44,689
That Halloween was the
last time anyone saw her.
53
00:01:44,690 --> 00:01:46,457
When it finally happened, he just wanted
54
00:01:46,458 --> 00:01:48,792
to let everyone know.
55
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He was so happy, I never
heard him so happy.
56
00:01:50,795 --> 00:01:53,331
So.
57
00:01:53,332 --> 00:01:56,367
He got his bride, you get the house
58
00:01:56,368 --> 00:01:59,169
and my son has thrown me
out on the street.
59
00:01:59,170 --> 00:02:01,638
No. Not true.
I'll have to move in with sissy merkowski
60
00:02:01,639 --> 00:02:03,206
and the mummified corpse of her mother
61
00:02:03,207 --> 00:02:05,041
which I think she keeps
in the refrigerator.
62
00:02:05,042 --> 00:02:06,543
Fanny, you shouldn't worry.
63
00:02:06,544 --> 00:02:07,977
You're completely taken care of.
64
00:02:07,978 --> 00:02:10,146
There are provisions in there.
65
00:02:10,147 --> 00:02:12,815
The dance studio is yours to
run as long as you want it,
66
00:02:12,816 --> 00:02:15,752
and I'm sure Michelle has no intention
67
00:02:15,753 --> 00:02:18,186
of moving you out of your house.
No intention at all.
68
00:02:18,187 --> 00:02:19,421
See? So when you look at it,
nothing's really changed.
69
00:02:19,422 --> 00:02:20,822
Except now everything's in Michelle's name
70
00:02:20,823 --> 00:02:23,592
instead of hubbell's. Look at it this way.
71
00:02:23,593 --> 00:02:25,728
You didn't own anything before,
72
00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:28,130
so now you... you still don't own anything.
73
00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:31,900
Yeah, look.
74
00:02:31,901 --> 00:02:35,069
It's an awful time, and, um...
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00:02:35,070 --> 00:02:37,037
I'm sure you both must
have a million questions.
76
00:02:37,038 --> 00:02:39,741
So why don't you stop
by my office next week
77
00:02:39,742 --> 00:02:41,008
and, um, I'll go over it again.
78
00:02:41,009 --> 00:02:42,877
Okay?
79
00:03:42,113 --> 00:03:46,113
Bunheads 1x03 inherit the wind
original air date June 25, 2012
80
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sync and corrections by atrn97g
for www.Addic7ed.Com
81
00:03:50,208 --> 00:03:53,776
oh my god!
82
00:04:13,629 --> 00:04:15,096
Good dog.
83
00:04:23,339 --> 00:04:24,938
Ugh.
84
00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:35,082
Oh, prewar. Nice.
85
00:04:44,992 --> 00:04:47,492
All right, which one
of you freaks has food?
86
00:04:49,430 --> 00:04:50,363
And I'm waiting for an answer.
87
00:04:50,364 --> 00:04:51,463
New low.
88
00:04:56,836 --> 00:04:59,371
Food, food. Nearest food.
89
00:05:01,340 --> 00:05:02,140
Okay, I'm sorry, kid, but a split toenail
90
00:05:02,141 --> 00:05:03,509
is not gonna cut it.
91
00:05:03,510 --> 00:05:05,243
If it were infected, then we could talk.
92
00:05:05,244 --> 00:05:07,212
But it's turning black and blue. See?
93
00:05:07,213 --> 00:05:08,781
Seriously? You call that black and blue?
94
00:05:08,782 --> 00:05:09,848
Psh. Call me when you get some glasses.
95
00:05:09,849 --> 00:05:11,383
Off the tree.
96
00:05:11,384 --> 00:05:13,284
What you got for me?
Bunions.
97
00:05:13,285 --> 00:05:14,318
There, there...
98
00:05:14,319 --> 00:05:16,020
and there.
Nice.
99
00:05:16,021 --> 00:05:17,988
Oh, yeah. We do bunions good.
100
00:05:17,989 --> 00:05:20,224
It's a family thing. My mom has bunions
101
00:05:20,225 --> 00:05:22,192
and she talks a lot about bunions.
102
00:05:22,193 --> 00:05:23,861
And menopause.
103
00:05:23,862 --> 00:05:24,929
She really needs to go on a date.
104
00:05:24,930 --> 00:05:26,263
Foot higher, please?
105
00:05:28,066 --> 00:05:29,366
Oh, beauty. Really.
106
00:05:29,367 --> 00:05:31,268
Okay, boo?
107
00:05:31,269 --> 00:05:33,370
Five blisters, an ingrown toenail
108
00:05:33,371 --> 00:05:35,539
and some general scabbing
109
00:05:35,540 --> 00:05:37,574
and peeling.
I can work with that.
110
00:05:37,575 --> 00:05:40,244
Hey, nice pictures?
111
00:05:40,245 --> 00:05:41,545
Is this a new Internet thing
112
00:05:41,546 --> 00:05:43,047
I'm happy to be too old to know about?
113
00:05:43,048 --> 00:05:44,681
We're taking pictures of our feet.
114
00:05:44,682 --> 00:05:46,482
Yeah, I got the what,
just looking for the why.
115
00:05:46,483 --> 00:05:47,917
We're having a contest
116
00:05:47,918 --> 00:05:50,153
to see whose are the most disgusting.
117
00:05:50,154 --> 00:05:51,887
Aah.
We're competing with schools
118
00:05:51,888 --> 00:05:54,357
all over California, 'cause
the grosser the feet...
119
00:05:54,358 --> 00:05:56,392
The better the dance studio. I'm with you.
120
00:05:56,393 --> 00:05:57,994
San Francisco looks pretty competitive.
121
00:05:57,995 --> 00:06:00,196
Ah, la Canada is really the one to beat.
122
00:06:00,197 --> 00:06:01,830
Ugh, those girls have revolting feet.
123
00:06:01,831 --> 00:06:04,032
Plus they have a ringer.
A ringer?
124
00:06:04,033 --> 00:06:06,768
Yeah, one of the girls has a shrunken toe.
125
00:06:06,769 --> 00:06:08,703
A what?
All her toes are normal sized,
126
00:06:08,704 --> 00:06:10,238
except for the one next to the pinky toe.
127
00:06:10,239 --> 00:06:12,740
It's... this big.
Which would be bad enough,
128
00:06:12,741 --> 00:06:14,509
but it's not even
where it's supposed to be.
129
00:06:14,510 --> 00:06:17,011
Where is it?
In the middle of her foot.
130
00:06:17,012 --> 00:06:19,046
Which shouldn't even count
'cause that's not ballet,
131
00:06:19,047 --> 00:06:21,748
that's d.N.A that's
cousinmakingbabies territory.
132
00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:23,250
But it's super gross, so they always win.
133
00:06:23,251 --> 00:06:25,252
We've come in third four times
134
00:06:25,253 --> 00:06:27,455
and second twice, but we've never won.
135
00:06:27,456 --> 00:06:29,357
How are your feet?
136
00:06:29,358 --> 00:06:30,491
It's been a long time
since I've been on point.
137
00:06:30,492 --> 00:06:31,725
Sorry.
Oh, that's too bad.
138
00:06:31,726 --> 00:06:32,826
Professional gross foot
would really put us
139
00:06:32,827 --> 00:06:34,528
over the top. Hey, boo.
140
00:06:34,529 --> 00:06:36,696
You know, that blister would be a lot
more disgusting if it popped.
141
00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:37,597
Oh, right.
142
00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:39,332
All right, well, good luck. Gah.
143
00:06:39,333 --> 00:06:41,067
Okay. Yeah. Text me with the winner.
144
00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:44,237
Okay, we will.
145
00:06:44,238 --> 00:06:45,738
You want me to give you my number?
Oh, we have your number.
146
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:47,407
You do?
Everybody has your number.
147
00:06:47,408 --> 00:06:48,908
Really?
Yep.
148
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:50,909
Thornton Wilder should have mentioned
149
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:52,711
the creepy side of small town life.
150
00:06:52,712 --> 00:06:55,014
Who?
No one. He was in menudo.
151
00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:56,215
Who?
I'm gonna go be old now.
152
00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:57,549
Okay, bye.
153
00:06:57,550 --> 00:06:59,385
My big toenail just came off!
154
00:06:59,386 --> 00:07:01,386
My big toenail just came off.
155
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:03,921
Yes! Suck it, la Canada.
156
00:07:05,124 --> 00:07:06,557
So.
157
00:07:08,260 --> 00:07:09,860
Who knew the gas station
158
00:07:09,861 --> 00:07:12,430
also has a fine bakery section.
159
00:07:12,431 --> 00:07:14,665
Well, it does. So I got us some breakfast,
160
00:07:14,666 --> 00:07:15,799
and now I'm gonna make us some coffee
161
00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:17,135
that isn't completely see through.
162
00:07:17,136 --> 00:07:19,103
I'm sorry, I don't eat breakfast.
163
00:07:19,104 --> 00:07:21,804
Hold that decision until
you see what I bought.
164
00:07:21,805 --> 00:07:24,074
Scones. Huh?
165
00:07:24,075 --> 00:07:25,475
Feeling the "downtown Abbey"?
166
00:07:25,476 --> 00:07:27,310
Now here's the thing I don't understand
167
00:07:27,311 --> 00:07:28,845
about scones... are they
supposed to be hard?
168
00:07:28,846 --> 00:07:30,247
I mean, like, this hard?
169
00:07:30,248 --> 00:07:31,448
Because this one's like a rock
170
00:07:31,449 --> 00:07:33,050
with weird teenytiny raisins in it.
171
00:07:33,051 --> 00:07:34,918
Currants.
Excuse me?
172
00:07:34,919 --> 00:07:36,653
The small raisins are called currants.
173
00:07:38,621 --> 00:07:40,322
Oh, you're a tea person.
174
00:07:40,323 --> 00:07:41,757
That explains
the extensive scone knowledge.
175
00:07:41,758 --> 00:07:43,792
I'm sorry?
176
00:07:43,793 --> 00:07:45,428
Oh, the kettle.
177
00:07:45,429 --> 00:07:47,896
Yes. I'll explain.
178
00:07:47,897 --> 00:07:49,965
This tea kettle actually
came with the house.
179
00:07:49,966 --> 00:07:51,600
It was under the sink when we moved in.
180
00:07:51,601 --> 00:07:52,668
So it belonged to the people who lived here
181
00:07:52,669 --> 00:07:53,769
before we did, so I figured
182
00:07:53,770 --> 00:07:55,170
it was legal to use.
183
00:07:55,171 --> 00:07:57,305
Legal?
Now that one.
184
00:07:57,306 --> 00:07:58,707
The shiny, new, clean one,
185
00:07:58,708 --> 00:08:00,742
of course is yours now.
186
00:08:00,743 --> 00:08:02,910
Oh, boy.
This one is a bit rusty,
187
00:08:02,911 --> 00:08:03,945
and there do seem to be some holes
188
00:08:03,946 --> 00:08:05,580
around the side here.
189
00:08:05,581 --> 00:08:07,448
But I figure if I don't fill it too full
190
00:08:07,449 --> 00:08:09,951
and I stop it before it completely boils,
191
00:08:09,952 --> 00:08:11,986
I might be able to almost have enough
192
00:08:11,987 --> 00:08:13,588
for a single cup of tea.
Please stop.
193
00:08:13,589 --> 00:08:16,123
Now, water...
194
00:08:16,124 --> 00:08:17,858
Water could be a problem.
195
00:08:17,859 --> 00:08:19,459
Because the pipes are yours,
196
00:08:19,460 --> 00:08:20,760
and the sink is yours
197
00:08:20,761 --> 00:08:23,096
and the faucet is yours.
198
00:08:23,097 --> 00:08:25,398
I guess I could tap
into the county well water,
199
00:08:25,399 --> 00:08:27,233
or maybe take a bucket
out to the aqueduct,
200
00:08:27,234 --> 00:08:28,367
or there's pond water,
201
00:08:28,368 --> 00:08:30,470
or that pothole
202
00:08:30,471 --> 00:08:32,271
on highway three should still have
203
00:08:32,272 --> 00:08:33,873
some rainwater in it from the other night.
204
00:08:33,874 --> 00:08:34,974
Maybe I could build a fire
205
00:08:34,975 --> 00:08:36,408
and boil the insects out.
206
00:08:36,409 --> 00:08:38,243
I should sit, right?
207
00:08:38,244 --> 00:08:42,314
Now, as someone who has
never owned anything,
208
00:08:42,315 --> 00:08:44,049
I should have had a plan for this.
209
00:08:44,050 --> 00:08:45,317
I should have known this would happen.
210
00:08:45,318 --> 00:08:46,318
I should have thought it through.
211
00:08:46,319 --> 00:08:48,186
I apologize.
Good.
212
00:08:48,187 --> 00:08:49,622
I will figure all this out very soon.
213
00:08:49,623 --> 00:08:50,955
But in the meantime,
214
00:08:50,956 --> 00:08:52,724
I would really like
215
00:08:52,725 --> 00:08:54,826
a partial cup of rusty tea.
216
00:08:54,827 --> 00:08:57,428
So how about, just for today,
217
00:08:57,429 --> 00:08:59,097
in exchange for the water
218
00:08:59,098 --> 00:09:01,132
I give you a dime?
No.
219
00:09:02,735 --> 00:09:04,401
All right, a quarter.
220
00:09:04,402 --> 00:09:06,337
Now.
221
00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:08,672
A mug, a mug, a mug.
222
00:09:08,673 --> 00:09:09,840
Fanny please just take a mug.
223
00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:12,075
Hubbell made this for me
224
00:09:12,076 --> 00:09:13,910
when he was six.
225
00:09:13,911 --> 00:09:15,779
Of course it's toxic
226
00:09:15,780 --> 00:09:18,615
and contains lead paint,
but it was a gift.
227
00:09:18,616 --> 00:09:19,783
And here's where I'm confused...
228
00:09:19,784 --> 00:09:22,252
Are gifts yours, too?
229
00:09:22,253 --> 00:09:24,419
Should we call the lawyer
before I pour my tea?
230
00:09:24,420 --> 00:09:27,189
Fanny, can we please just talk about this?
231
00:09:27,190 --> 00:09:29,358
Talk about what? The fact that I'm homeless?
You're not homeless.
232
00:09:29,359 --> 00:09:30,826
Talk about the fact that I'm jobless?
You're not jobless!
233
00:09:30,827 --> 00:09:32,862
As of today, you own the ballet school.
234
00:09:32,863 --> 00:09:34,897
No, you own the school.
I just own the building
235
00:09:34,898 --> 00:09:37,398
and the land the school is sitting on.
236
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:38,867
I didn't mean that.
237
00:09:38,868 --> 00:09:41,636
It's true. Why not say it?
238
00:09:41,637 --> 00:09:45,073
My son has thrown me out into the cold.
239
00:09:45,074 --> 00:09:47,709
He might as well have put me on an
iceberg and pushed me out to sea.
240
00:09:47,710 --> 00:09:50,645
That's ridiculous.
We're miles from the nearest iceberg.
241
00:09:50,646 --> 00:09:52,647
How cocky being land rich has made you.
242
00:09:52,648 --> 00:09:55,749
Fanny, hubbell loved you. You know that.
243
00:09:55,750 --> 00:09:58,518
I mean, the man lived
with you for 48 years.
244
00:09:58,519 --> 00:09:59,987
That's love. It's borderline
psychotic, but it's love.
245
00:09:59,988 --> 00:10:01,588
Think about it, Fanny.
246
00:10:01,589 --> 00:10:03,456
People don't expect to pass away
247
00:10:03,457 --> 00:10:05,159
before their parents. It's not natural.
248
00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:07,895
Hubbell obviously assumed,
by the time he...
249
00:10:07,896 --> 00:10:09,229
You know, that you would already be...
250
00:10:09,230 --> 00:10:10,664
Dead?
251
00:10:10,665 --> 00:10:12,965
No.
252
00:10:12,966 --> 00:10:15,201
I mean, well... you are...
253
00:10:15,202 --> 00:10:18,204
Old?
No! I mean...
254
00:10:18,205 --> 00:10:19,939
Well, yeah, comparatively speaking.
255
00:10:19,940 --> 00:10:21,974
This was not my idea!
256
00:10:21,975 --> 00:10:24,077
I never wanted all of this.
257
00:10:24,078 --> 00:10:26,079
I didn't even know you
existed when I got married.
258
00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:27,979
Well, that's nice. I feel much better now.
259
00:10:27,980 --> 00:10:29,848
Oh, you're so exhausting.
260
00:10:29,849 --> 00:10:32,483
We old people usually are.
261
00:10:32,484 --> 00:10:34,285
You know what? I don't want tea.
262
00:10:34,286 --> 00:10:36,321
Take the mug. Take the pot.
263
00:10:36,322 --> 00:10:38,322
I have a class to teach.
264
00:10:44,656 --> 00:10:47,591
Hi.
Jeez.
265
00:10:47,592 --> 00:10:49,392
Don't ever sneak up
on someone reading the words
266
00:10:49,393 --> 00:10:50,626
"amidst a bloody aftermath."
267
00:10:50,627 --> 00:10:51,661
Oh, sorry.
268
00:10:51,662 --> 00:10:52,762
Pick a hand.
269
00:10:52,763 --> 00:10:54,530
That one.
270
00:10:54,531 --> 00:10:55,799
For you.
A snood.
271
00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:57,600
So cool.
272
00:10:57,601 --> 00:10:58,501
I made it for the joffrey auditions.
273
00:10:58,502 --> 00:10:59,869
It's lucky.
274
00:10:59,870 --> 00:11:02,371
Ooh. A lucky snood.
275
00:11:02,372 --> 00:11:04,372
You don't even need to dance now.
276
00:11:05,441 --> 00:11:06,942
It's perfect. I love it.
277
00:11:06,943 --> 00:11:08,743
Put it on?
Yep.
278
00:11:16,652 --> 00:11:18,720
You guys can sit there.
So how long is this thing?
279
00:11:18,721 --> 00:11:20,455
My class is an hour and a half.
280
00:11:20,456 --> 00:11:22,256
Seriously?
Oh my god.
281
00:11:22,257 --> 00:11:24,058
How many times have you
driven to ballet class?
282
00:11:24,059 --> 00:11:25,492
I know, but it used to be shorter.
283
00:11:25,493 --> 00:11:27,361
It was never shorter.
You said it was shorter.
284
00:11:27,362 --> 00:11:28,762
Last month it was totally shorter.
285
00:11:28,763 --> 00:11:30,131
Never in the history of existing
286
00:11:30,132 --> 00:11:32,266
has it ever been shorter than it is now.
287
00:11:32,267 --> 00:11:35,502
We're meeting bud and melon at 6:00.
My class is till 6:30.
288
00:11:35,503 --> 00:11:37,337
Not gonna work.
We're meeting them at 6:00.
289
00:11:37,338 --> 00:11:40,173
That's a lot of mirrors.
It's a ballet studio, genius.
290
00:11:40,174 --> 00:11:43,109
Just duck out early.
Yeah, before the swan dies.
291
00:11:43,110 --> 00:11:44,911
What? I'm not a barbarian.
292
00:11:44,912 --> 00:11:46,446
I'm not ducking out early.
Then bail now.
293
00:11:46,447 --> 00:11:48,181
No.
294
00:11:48,182 --> 00:11:50,383
Dude, handle this. She's eight.
295
00:11:50,384 --> 00:11:52,952
Hey, you're the one who had to
have your "risky business" moment
296
00:11:52,953 --> 00:11:54,720
when mom and dad went to Tahoe.
297
00:11:54,721 --> 00:11:57,689
So until they say otherwise, I own you.
298
00:11:57,690 --> 00:11:59,358
I could make you dress up
like Anthony Hopkins
299
00:11:59,359 --> 00:12:00,960
in "remains of the day" and serve me tea,
300
00:12:00,961 --> 00:12:02,895
but instead all you have to do
301
00:12:02,896 --> 00:12:04,563
is sit on your butt
and watch a room full of girls
302
00:12:04,564 --> 00:12:06,165
jump around until sixfricken30.
303
00:12:06,166 --> 00:12:07,132
But we're meeting at 6:00.
304
00:12:07,133 --> 00:12:08,900
Hello, mom?
305
00:12:08,901 --> 00:12:10,534
Fine. We're here. Go spin.
306
00:12:11,803 --> 00:12:14,472
Melanie!
307
00:12:14,473 --> 00:12:17,575
Why is your brother here?
308
00:12:19,912 --> 00:12:23,314
Why is Charlie here?
309
00:12:25,884 --> 00:12:28,518
Why is char...
310
00:12:28,519 --> 00:12:30,953
Oh, never mind. I'm coming down.
311
00:12:36,527 --> 00:12:38,194
All right, everyone, places at the barre.
312
00:12:41,098 --> 00:12:42,899
What is your brother doing here?
313
00:12:42,900 --> 00:12:45,067
Our parents caught him with beer
on his breath last weekend,
314
00:12:45,068 --> 00:12:46,936
and driving me everywhere
I want is his punishment.
315
00:12:46,937 --> 00:12:48,170
Why didn't you give me a heads up?
316
00:12:48,171 --> 00:12:50,139
What for?
So I could...
317
00:12:50,140 --> 00:12:52,541
You know, do stuff to myself.
318
00:12:52,542 --> 00:12:55,477
Like what?
I don't know... makeup,
319
00:12:55,478 --> 00:12:59,114
different leotard, bag over my head.
320
00:12:59,115 --> 00:13:01,682
I can wait until you're all
done talking if you like.
321
00:13:01,683 --> 00:13:03,684
Thank you.
322
00:13:03,685 --> 00:13:05,353
Plies.
323
00:13:05,354 --> 00:13:09,057
And Demi and straight.
324
00:13:09,058 --> 00:13:11,126
Demi and straight.
325
00:13:11,127 --> 00:13:12,527
And grand.
326
00:13:16,531 --> 00:13:17,898
Very subtle, boo.
327
00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:31,844
Hello.
Hi there.
328
00:13:31,845 --> 00:13:34,013
I'm Claire. I'm Ginny's mom.
329
00:13:34,014 --> 00:13:35,815
We met last night, but I'm
just sure it was a big blur
330
00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:37,116
for you.
Right. Claire.
331
00:13:37,117 --> 00:13:39,085
Ginny's mom. Yes, hi.
332
00:13:39,086 --> 00:13:40,853
I just wanted to tell you how
much she talks about you,
333
00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:43,756
about your career as a showgirl in Vegas.
334
00:13:43,757 --> 00:13:46,024
I have to admit, I'm a little jealous.
Oh, well, don't be.
335
00:13:46,025 --> 00:13:48,193
I just wanted to offer
my condolences again.
336
00:13:48,194 --> 00:13:50,895
How are you holding up?
Um.
337
00:13:50,896 --> 00:13:51,930
Of course. How could you be holding up?
338
00:13:51,931 --> 00:13:53,665
I just want you to know,
339
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,033
I'm here for you if you need anything,
340
00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:57,235
anything at all. And I brought my famous
341
00:13:57,236 --> 00:13:59,171
tacoinabag casserole.
342
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,772
Tacoinabag?
343
00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:02,506
Oh, it's an old girl scout dish.
344
00:14:02,507 --> 00:14:04,241
Every camper gets a bag of chips,
345
00:14:04,242 --> 00:14:06,010
they put in their favorite taco fixings,
346
00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:07,278
they crunch it all up,
347
00:14:07,279 --> 00:14:10,448
and voila. You got taco in a bag.
348
00:14:10,449 --> 00:14:12,016
It looks revolting,
349
00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:13,484
but it tastes like heaven.
350
00:14:13,485 --> 00:14:14,551
Oh, and it's terrible for you.
351
00:14:14,552 --> 00:14:16,520
Perfect.
352
00:14:16,521 --> 00:14:18,521
I'll pop this in the fridge.
353
00:14:20,124 --> 00:14:23,293
Oh, very sad selection.
Yeah, the best ones were eaten
354
00:14:23,294 --> 00:14:25,095
at the memorial the other night.
These are the rejects.
355
00:14:25,096 --> 00:14:27,530
Anyway, I'll get out of your hair.
356
00:14:27,531 --> 00:14:29,099
Just call me if there's
anything I can do for you.
357
00:14:29,100 --> 00:14:30,800
I will.
You know, the day I lost my husband
358
00:14:30,801 --> 00:14:32,835
was the worst day of my life.
359
00:14:32,836 --> 00:14:34,336
Of course I lost him to the divorcee
360
00:14:34,337 --> 00:14:36,338
in the jeggings across the street
361
00:14:36,339 --> 00:14:37,306
and not in a car accident,
362
00:14:37,307 --> 00:14:39,475
but it still hurt.
363
00:14:39,476 --> 00:14:40,575
I'm sure.
But you.
364
00:14:40,576 --> 00:14:42,978
You poor thing.
365
00:14:42,979 --> 00:14:44,146
Hubbell didn't even leave you,
366
00:14:44,147 --> 00:14:46,048
not the way Gil left me.
367
00:14:46,049 --> 00:14:47,349
You were still newlyweds,
368
00:14:47,350 --> 00:14:48,984
still in love.
369
00:14:48,985 --> 00:14:50,351
And now you're here in a new town,
370
00:14:50,352 --> 00:14:53,121
in a strange house, all alone.
371
00:14:53,122 --> 00:14:55,990
Must be overwhelming.
I think I'm still in the numb phase.
372
00:14:55,991 --> 00:14:57,824
Overwhelming is probably on the way.
373
00:14:57,825 --> 00:14:59,059
And on top of everything else,
374
00:14:59,060 --> 00:15:00,560
to be burdened down with all this,
375
00:15:00,561 --> 00:15:03,296
I can't imagine.
All of what?
376
00:15:03,297 --> 00:15:06,166
All this.
Oh, well, this is Fanny's stuff.
377
00:15:06,167 --> 00:15:07,901
She likes things that stare.
378
00:15:07,902 --> 00:15:09,036
Oh, no, sweetie, I don't mean that.
379
00:15:09,037 --> 00:15:10,570
I mean all of this...
380
00:15:10,571 --> 00:15:13,072
The house, the land.
381
00:15:13,073 --> 00:15:15,241
Oh, wow. News travels fast.
382
00:15:15,242 --> 00:15:18,444
Around here, like a bullet train.
383
00:15:18,445 --> 00:15:20,846
You ever own land before?
I've never owned anything before.
384
00:15:20,847 --> 00:15:22,614
I still have a leather jacket
on layaway at the forum shops.
385
00:15:22,615 --> 00:15:25,451
Oh, it's a big responsibility.
386
00:15:25,452 --> 00:15:27,786
The upkeep... it's enough
to make your head spin.
387
00:15:27,787 --> 00:15:29,820
Anyhow, if you should decide
388
00:15:29,821 --> 00:15:32,290
that this is all just too much for you,
389
00:15:32,291 --> 00:15:34,291
you could give me a call.
390
00:15:36,828 --> 00:15:38,095
Give you a call to do?
391
00:15:40,466 --> 00:15:41,533
You're a real estate agent?
392
00:15:41,534 --> 00:15:44,369
Top salesperson three years running.
393
00:15:44,370 --> 00:15:46,437
Used to be part time,
394
00:15:46,438 --> 00:15:48,472
and then Gil ran off with that whore
395
00:15:48,473 --> 00:15:50,707
who refused to bring her
barrels in in the morning.
396
00:15:50,708 --> 00:15:52,443
That's how she hooked him.
397
00:15:52,444 --> 00:15:54,445
Finally offered to bring them in for her,
398
00:15:54,446 --> 00:15:56,680
and it was all over.
399
00:15:56,681 --> 00:15:58,782
Trash! Hooked him with trash.
400
00:15:58,783 --> 00:16:00,084
You're getting over it very well.
401
00:16:00,085 --> 00:16:02,585
I know. But if you ever decide
402
00:16:02,586 --> 00:16:04,753
that you want to sell this place,
403
00:16:04,754 --> 00:16:07,890
I know I could get you a really good price.
404
00:16:07,891 --> 00:16:09,858
Oh, and I have the most adorable
405
00:16:09,859 --> 00:16:11,360
beach condos that are just perfect
406
00:16:11,361 --> 00:16:13,129
for a single girl like yourself
407
00:16:13,130 --> 00:16:14,797
because any way you slice it,
408
00:16:14,798 --> 00:16:17,232
seven acres is a lot.
409
00:16:17,233 --> 00:16:18,766
Uh... I'm sorry, how many acres?
410
00:16:21,036 --> 00:16:24,272
Hubbell bought the place
and was slowly fixing it up.
411
00:16:24,273 --> 00:16:26,508
He got to the house, the studio
412
00:16:26,509 --> 00:16:28,776
and a couple of the other structures...
413
00:16:28,777 --> 00:16:30,778
You see these trees?
Yes.
414
00:16:30,779 --> 00:16:32,780
They are in desperate
need of some thinning.
415
00:16:32,781 --> 00:16:35,015
You should take some out.
416
00:16:35,016 --> 00:16:37,485
They're too crowded.
Intimacy issues?
417
00:16:37,486 --> 00:16:40,087
They're gonna lead to a
squirrel population explosion.
418
00:16:40,088 --> 00:16:41,788
Hubbell was gonna take care of that
419
00:16:41,789 --> 00:16:43,390
last year, but never went through with it.
420
00:16:43,391 --> 00:16:45,459
I think the price probably scared him off.
421
00:16:45,460 --> 00:16:47,628
Wonder if he ever
took care of that root rot.
422
00:16:47,629 --> 00:16:49,395
Oh, so how much would
it cost to thin the trees
423
00:16:49,396 --> 00:16:51,030
so the squirrels don't explode?
424
00:16:51,031 --> 00:16:52,965
30 to 40, depending on
how many trees you have,
425
00:16:52,966 --> 00:16:54,300
and you have a lot of trees.
426
00:16:54,301 --> 00:16:56,169
$40,000?
427
00:16:56,170 --> 00:16:58,104
How's your drainage?
428
00:16:58,105 --> 00:16:59,972
Do you know?
No.
429
00:16:59,973 --> 00:17:01,574
You should find out.
430
00:17:01,575 --> 00:17:02,808
Plus you should have that lake dredged,
431
00:17:02,809 --> 00:17:03,743
it's been awhile
432
00:17:03,744 --> 00:17:05,577
I have a lake?
433
00:17:05,578 --> 00:17:08,013
You have one lake and two swampy ponds
434
00:17:08,014 --> 00:17:09,781
plus geese which means goose poop...
435
00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:14,819
What? What is it?
436
00:17:14,820 --> 00:17:16,421
What are you doing? What's down there?
437
00:17:16,422 --> 00:17:18,156
What's the status of your septic tank?
438
00:17:18,157 --> 00:17:18,890
My...?
439
00:17:18,891 --> 00:17:20,592
We're not on a sewer system out here.
440
00:17:20,593 --> 00:17:22,026
You have a septic system.
441
00:17:22,027 --> 00:17:23,694
Oh, okay. What does that mean exactly?
442
00:17:23,695 --> 00:17:25,095
It means all your household waste
443
00:17:25,096 --> 00:17:26,264
is piped into the ground behind your house
444
00:17:26,265 --> 00:17:27,331
and it stays there.
445
00:17:27,332 --> 00:17:28,699
What?
So you have to
446
00:17:28,700 --> 00:17:30,535
have a company come out and service it.
447
00:17:30,536 --> 00:17:32,236
Service it?
Suck it out.
448
00:17:32,237 --> 00:17:33,904
Good lord.
449
00:17:33,905 --> 00:17:34,838
Do you know your service schedule?
450
00:17:34,839 --> 00:17:36,040
No.
That's okay.
451
00:17:36,041 --> 00:17:37,240
You'll know when you need
452
00:17:37,241 --> 00:17:38,408
to have them out.
How?
453
00:17:38,409 --> 00:17:39,842
How will I know when to have the men
454
00:17:39,843 --> 00:17:40,777
with the tubes come suck the waste
455
00:17:40,778 --> 00:17:42,145
out of the ground?
456
00:17:42,146 --> 00:17:43,112
You'll smell it.
457
00:17:43,113 --> 00:17:44,347
Oh, sure.
458
00:17:44,348 --> 00:17:45,682
And you'll feel it.
459
00:17:45,683 --> 00:17:47,184
Great.
460
00:17:47,185 --> 00:17:48,885
It's a lot, I know.
461
00:17:48,886 --> 00:17:50,287
Mmhmm.
And Fanny's really
462
00:17:50,288 --> 00:17:51,968
no help with this because she's an artist.
463
00:17:53,223 --> 00:17:54,690
I got visuals.
464
00:17:54,691 --> 00:17:56,191
All sorts of visuals.
465
00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:05,534
What's this? The vomitorium?
466
00:18:09,905 --> 00:18:11,906
Oh, wow. So pretty.
467
00:18:11,907 --> 00:18:13,408
That was hubbell's.
468
00:18:13,409 --> 00:18:14,742
Really?
469
00:18:14,743 --> 00:18:16,678
He rebuilt it entirely from pieces
470
00:18:16,679 --> 00:18:18,312
he tracked down on the Internet.
471
00:18:20,583 --> 00:18:21,649
He would drive it
in the 4th of July parade
472
00:18:21,650 --> 00:18:23,818
every year if he was in town.
473
00:18:23,819 --> 00:18:26,420
That car was his pride and joy.
474
00:18:26,421 --> 00:18:28,054
But the Volvo.
475
00:18:28,055 --> 00:18:30,023
Oh, that was for work.
476
00:18:30,024 --> 00:18:31,324
This was for love.
477
00:19:13,965 --> 00:19:16,032
Who knew the septic system
wouldn't be the worst thing
478
00:19:16,033 --> 00:19:17,635
you told me today.
What are you doing?!
479
00:19:17,636 --> 00:19:19,035
Ah! My god, you scared me.
480
00:19:19,036 --> 00:19:20,671
Claire was just telling me
481
00:19:20,672 --> 00:19:22,038
how if someone is bitten on your property
482
00:19:22,039 --> 00:19:23,106
by a rabid animal, they can sue
483
00:19:23,107 --> 00:19:24,475
if they don't die.
484
00:19:24,476 --> 00:19:26,209
If they do die, the family can sue.
485
00:19:26,210 --> 00:19:27,478
We need umbrella insurance.
486
00:19:27,479 --> 00:19:28,611
Do we have it? 'Cause we need it.
487
00:19:28,612 --> 00:19:29,612
You're selling?
488
00:19:29,613 --> 00:19:30,413
What?
489
00:19:30,414 --> 00:19:31,881
My home. My livelihood.
490
00:19:31,882 --> 00:19:33,449
All I have left in this world?
491
00:19:33,450 --> 00:19:34,751
What? No, no. I...
492
00:19:34,752 --> 00:19:35,585
Are you throwing in the mug
493
00:19:35,586 --> 00:19:36,619
and the rusty tea kettle
494
00:19:36,620 --> 00:19:37,587
for an allcash offer?
495
00:19:37,588 --> 00:19:39,121
No, I just...
496
00:19:39,122 --> 00:19:40,456
Then what's she doing here?
497
00:19:40,457 --> 00:19:42,725
Well, she showed up
with the bag food thing, and I...
498
00:19:42,726 --> 00:19:44,894
You called her here?
499
00:19:44,895 --> 00:19:46,461
You called her here to sell my house?
500
00:19:46,462 --> 00:19:48,930
Okay, I'm just gonna
leave you two ladies to it.
501
00:19:48,931 --> 00:19:50,231
You have my magnet.
502
00:19:52,535 --> 00:19:53,902
She gave you a magnet?
503
00:19:53,903 --> 00:19:55,236
I did not tell her
I was selling your house.
504
00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:56,070
You don't have to tell her.
505
00:19:56,071 --> 00:19:57,439
No one tells Clair anything.
506
00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:58,540
She gave you a magnet.
507
00:19:58,541 --> 00:19:59,441
It's sold. Let's get boxes.
508
00:19:59,442 --> 00:20:01,176
Fanny, please calm down.
509
00:20:01,177 --> 00:20:03,076
I have lived in this
town for over 40 years.
510
00:20:03,077 --> 00:20:04,078
Do you have any idea what that's like?
511
00:20:04,079 --> 00:20:05,045
Of course not.
512
00:20:05,046 --> 00:20:06,213
Well, I'm not a gypsy, Fanny.
513
00:20:06,214 --> 00:20:07,114
I didn't travel with the circus.
514
00:20:07,115 --> 00:20:08,316
This is my home.
515
00:20:08,317 --> 00:20:09,917
My home. Not yours.
516
00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:11,485
You know, I'm trying, Fanny.
517
00:20:11,486 --> 00:20:12,720
I'm trying hard. I brought you scones.
518
00:20:12,721 --> 00:20:14,054
From a gas station.
519
00:20:14,055 --> 00:20:15,589
It had a pastry section.
520
00:20:15,590 --> 00:20:16,824
And I'm new around here,
521
00:20:16,825 --> 00:20:18,358
what the hell do you want from me?
522
00:20:18,359 --> 00:20:20,259
I want you to leave my house alone.
523
00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:21,828
Fine.
You're not wanted.
524
00:20:21,829 --> 00:20:23,162
Got it.
You're an interloper.
525
00:20:23,163 --> 00:20:24,263
Duly noted!
526
00:20:38,445 --> 00:20:40,579
♪ Hey ♪
527
00:20:40,580 --> 00:20:42,380
♪ Hey ♪
528
00:20:46,052 --> 00:20:48,119
♪ Hey ♪
529
00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:49,721
♪ Hey. ♪
530
00:21:15,258 --> 00:21:17,525
Hey, boo.
531
00:21:17,526 --> 00:21:18,260
You should go up front today.
532
00:21:18,261 --> 00:21:19,294
What? No.
533
00:21:19,295 --> 00:21:20,962
Come on.
534
00:21:20,963 --> 00:21:22,264
I don't stand in the front, Melanie.
535
00:21:22,265 --> 00:21:24,831
Ever.
Well, you should today,
536
00:21:24,832 --> 00:21:27,000
so you can dance in front of my brother.
537
00:21:27,001 --> 00:21:29,236
Nuhuh.
Boo, you have to.
538
00:21:29,237 --> 00:21:30,604
Charlie will never see you back here.
539
00:21:30,605 --> 00:21:31,805
If Charlie wants to notice me,
540
00:21:31,806 --> 00:21:32,773
he can notice me back here,
541
00:21:32,774 --> 00:21:34,241
in the back.
542
00:21:34,242 --> 00:21:35,876
He's not that observant.
543
00:21:35,877 --> 00:21:37,110
One time he fell asleep
with an egg salad sandwich
544
00:21:37,111 --> 00:21:38,512
in his bed.
545
00:21:38,513 --> 00:21:40,012
Our mom found it a week later
546
00:21:40,013 --> 00:21:40,713
when the smell finally leaked out
547
00:21:40,714 --> 00:21:41,981
into the hallway.
548
00:21:41,982 --> 00:21:43,249
That's not true.
549
00:21:43,250 --> 00:21:44,751
It's so true.
550
00:21:44,752 --> 00:21:45,818
He's a moron. But you like him,
551
00:21:45,819 --> 00:21:47,019
so get up there.
552
00:21:47,020 --> 00:21:50,054
I can't.
553
00:21:50,055 --> 00:21:51,456
Boo, the guy slept with a sandwich
554
00:21:51,457 --> 00:21:54,159
for a week and had no clue.
555
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:56,060
All right, everyone. That's enough.
556
00:21:56,061 --> 00:21:58,561
Center of the floor for reverence.
557
00:21:59,098 --> 00:22:00,598
Okay, I'm going in.
Wait.
558
00:22:05,704 --> 00:22:07,672
Pretty.
559
00:22:07,673 --> 00:22:08,773
And the glare might attract his attention.
560
00:22:08,774 --> 00:22:09,973
Thanks.
561
00:22:17,482 --> 00:22:19,116
God, boo.
562
00:22:19,117 --> 00:22:21,617
Why don't you just give him a lap dance?
563
00:22:25,155 --> 00:22:26,423
Oh, boo. Look at you
564
00:22:26,424 --> 00:22:27,490
in the front of the room.
565
00:22:27,491 --> 00:22:28,658
Good for you. Get up there.
566
00:22:28,659 --> 00:22:29,758
Stay up there.
567
00:22:31,395 --> 00:22:33,663
More, please.
568
00:22:33,664 --> 00:22:34,364
If you're going to be in the front,
569
00:22:34,365 --> 00:22:35,464
then be in the front.
570
00:22:35,465 --> 00:22:38,166
Very good.
571
00:22:38,167 --> 00:22:40,202
All right, everyone. Ready, and...
572
00:23:01,490 --> 00:23:03,190
Hey, there.
573
00:23:03,191 --> 00:23:04,191
I'm Lou.
Hey, Lou.
574
00:23:04,192 --> 00:23:05,226
Uh, just give me a second,
575
00:23:05,227 --> 00:23:06,694
I got the helicopter hat on,
576
00:23:06,695 --> 00:23:08,328
I'm flying, I'm flying, I'm flying!
577
00:23:08,329 --> 00:23:10,497
Oh.
578
00:23:10,498 --> 00:23:11,798
Darn. Well, it's been that kind of day.
579
00:23:11,799 --> 00:23:13,032
You call for a tow?
580
00:23:13,033 --> 00:23:14,568
Uh, yeah. Bless you.
581
00:23:14,569 --> 00:23:16,870
Um, I was pulling onto this road,
582
00:23:16,871 --> 00:23:19,005
and I guess I turned
the wheel pretty sharply,
583
00:23:19,006 --> 00:23:20,440
and there was a clang or maybe a clunk,
584
00:23:20,441 --> 00:23:22,342
and then it just stopped dead.
585
00:23:22,343 --> 00:23:23,376
I don't know if it's a transmission thing,
586
00:23:23,377 --> 00:23:25,143
or a brake thing, or an oil thing,
587
00:23:25,144 --> 00:23:26,278
or maybe because
I turned the steering wheel
588
00:23:26,279 --> 00:23:27,646
so fast, it could be
a steering wheel thing.
589
00:23:27,647 --> 00:23:29,548
Feel free to jump in any time here.
590
00:23:29,549 --> 00:23:31,250
Can't diagnose it without taking a look.
591
00:23:31,251 --> 00:23:32,150
Well, come on up here and take a look.
592
00:23:32,151 --> 00:23:33,452
Can't.
593
00:23:33,453 --> 00:23:34,553
You can't look at my car?
594
00:23:34,554 --> 00:23:36,321
Nope. Sorry.
595
00:23:36,322 --> 00:23:37,022
Well, isn't that what you do for a living?
596
00:23:37,023 --> 00:23:38,391
Yup.
597
00:23:38,392 --> 00:23:40,458
Okay.
598
00:23:40,459 --> 00:23:42,660
Well, can you just tow it for me then?
599
00:23:42,661 --> 00:23:44,161
Can't do that either.
600
00:23:44,162 --> 00:23:44,896
Isn't that another thing
you do for a living?
601
00:23:44,897 --> 00:23:47,031
Yup.
602
00:23:47,032 --> 00:23:49,567
Are you about to tell me
that there's no gorgonzola?
603
00:23:49,568 --> 00:23:50,568
'Cause this is starting to feel like
604
00:23:50,569 --> 00:23:51,870
the monte python cheese shop sketch.
605
00:23:51,871 --> 00:23:53,304
You're on a private road.
606
00:23:53,305 --> 00:23:55,072
I am?
607
00:23:55,073 --> 00:23:56,172
Oh, I don't see a sign.
608
00:23:56,173 --> 00:23:57,841
There is no sign.
609
00:23:57,842 --> 00:23:58,809
It's just that nobody's allowed
610
00:23:58,810 --> 00:23:59,810
to drive on that road
611
00:23:59,811 --> 00:24:00,878
without permission.
612
00:24:00,879 --> 00:24:02,279
Oh.
613
00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:03,614
Oh, okay, I get it.
614
00:24:03,615 --> 00:24:04,948
You can't drive on the private road,
615
00:24:04,949 --> 00:24:06,884
but I'm, like, barely on it.
616
00:24:06,885 --> 00:24:07,851
It's still a private road.
617
00:24:07,852 --> 00:24:10,421
Yeah, but there's no sign.
618
00:24:10,422 --> 00:24:11,888
How was I supposed to know?
619
00:24:11,889 --> 00:24:13,523
Well, a private road's a private road.
620
00:24:13,524 --> 00:24:14,356
Everybody knows that.
621
00:24:14,357 --> 00:24:16,292
Yeah, but I'm new.
622
00:24:16,293 --> 00:24:17,760
Live and learn.
Wow.
623
00:24:17,761 --> 00:24:19,562
Lesson learned.
624
00:24:19,563 --> 00:24:21,397
Um, so how do I get this towed then?
625
00:24:21,398 --> 00:24:22,998
I'd need permission.
626
00:24:22,999 --> 00:24:25,334
How do we get permission?
627
00:24:25,335 --> 00:24:26,895
You gotta get it from the road's owner.
628
00:24:28,438 --> 00:24:30,204
Yeah, this is 37. I'm available again.
629
00:24:30,205 --> 00:24:32,173
Whoa, whoa. No, no, not yet.
630
00:24:32,174 --> 00:24:34,242
Uh, this owner, does he have a name?
631
00:24:34,243 --> 00:24:36,344
Uh, most everybody says it's bill.
632
00:24:36,345 --> 00:24:38,379
Most everybody?
Is there not, like, a consensus?
633
00:24:38,380 --> 00:24:39,581
Well, he's just some rich guy
634
00:24:39,582 --> 00:24:40,649
that bought a lot of land
635
00:24:40,650 --> 00:24:41,583
and built a big house
636
00:24:41,584 --> 00:24:42,617
who nobody talks to
637
00:24:42,618 --> 00:24:43,651
or has seen.
638
00:24:43,652 --> 00:24:45,018
We think.
639
00:24:45,019 --> 00:24:46,320
Supposedly made his money
640
00:24:46,321 --> 00:24:48,155
in silicon valley,
641
00:24:48,156 --> 00:24:49,623
or possibly something to do with
642
00:24:49,624 --> 00:24:51,525
illegal international organ transplants.
643
00:24:51,526 --> 00:24:52,793
I've heard something
644
00:24:52,794 --> 00:24:54,027
about pig heart valves
645
00:24:54,028 --> 00:24:55,729
made out of silicone,
646
00:24:55,730 --> 00:24:56,897
but I think that's just something
647
00:24:56,898 --> 00:24:57,932
that somebody made up.
648
00:24:57,933 --> 00:24:59,032
Whatever it is,
649
00:24:59,033 --> 00:25:00,567
he made a bucketload of money.
650
00:25:00,568 --> 00:25:01,835
Well, where would I find this
651
00:25:01,836 --> 00:25:03,269
siliconepigheart guy
652
00:25:03,270 --> 00:25:04,604
who may or may not be named bill?
653
00:25:04,605 --> 00:25:06,072
Up the road.
654
00:25:06,073 --> 00:25:07,774
Okay.
655
00:25:07,775 --> 00:25:08,975
Fine.
656
00:25:08,976 --> 00:25:10,743
You just wait here
657
00:25:10,744 --> 00:25:12,745
and I will skadoodle on up there
658
00:25:12,746 --> 00:25:14,747
and ask the guy who might be named bill
659
00:25:14,748 --> 00:25:16,214
for permission to get
my car towed off his road.
660
00:25:16,215 --> 00:25:17,549
Oh, uh.
661
00:25:17,550 --> 00:25:18,450
I wouldn't do that.
662
00:25:18,451 --> 00:25:21,620
Why, Lou? Why?
663
00:25:21,621 --> 00:25:23,288
Well, awhile back, two county workers
664
00:25:23,289 --> 00:25:24,490
went up there to discuss
665
00:25:24,491 --> 00:25:25,624
putting in a cellphone tower
666
00:25:25,625 --> 00:25:27,526
and no one ever saw them again.
667
00:25:27,527 --> 00:25:29,327
You're telling me that two people
668
00:25:29,328 --> 00:25:31,863
went up there, disappeared,
669
00:25:31,864 --> 00:25:33,130
and you have no idea
what happened to them?
670
00:25:33,131 --> 00:25:34,899
Private road.
671
00:25:38,103 --> 00:25:39,670
Heyo, Clayton.
Hey, Lou.
672
00:25:39,671 --> 00:25:41,238
Thank god. Officer Clayton,
673
00:25:41,239 --> 00:25:42,840
will you please give Lou permission
674
00:25:42,841 --> 00:25:44,509
to move his truck three feet
675
00:25:44,510 --> 00:25:45,376
so I can get a tow?
676
00:25:45,377 --> 00:25:46,911
Oh, boy.
677
00:25:46,912 --> 00:25:47,978
Let me guess. Private road?
678
00:25:47,979 --> 00:25:49,345
Private road.
All right,
679
00:25:49,346 --> 00:25:50,514
first of all, may I point out
680
00:25:50,515 --> 00:25:52,048
that there's no signs?
681
00:25:52,049 --> 00:25:53,116
Oh, we don't like signs around here,
682
00:25:53,117 --> 00:25:54,283
Mars the landscape.
683
00:25:54,284 --> 00:25:55,318
Did you know you were entering
684
00:25:55,319 --> 00:25:56,720
a private road?
685
00:25:56,721 --> 00:25:57,921
No, 'cause there's no sign!
686
00:25:57,922 --> 00:25:58,889
No need to yell.
687
00:25:58,890 --> 00:26:00,356
I'm not yelling!
688
00:26:00,357 --> 00:26:01,024
All right, I'm yelling a little bit,
689
00:26:01,025 --> 00:26:02,158
but there is no sign!
690
00:26:02,159 --> 00:26:03,359
Everybody around here knows
691
00:26:03,360 --> 00:26:04,727
that's a private road.
692
00:26:04,728 --> 00:26:06,261
Well, I'm freakin' new.
693
00:26:06,262 --> 00:26:08,330
Oh, all right.
694
00:26:08,331 --> 00:26:09,832
What are you doing?
695
00:26:09,833 --> 00:26:12,300
Nothing just yet.
696
00:26:12,301 --> 00:26:13,636
You're writing. What are you writing?
697
00:26:13,637 --> 00:26:14,436
Gotta give you a ticket.
698
00:26:14,437 --> 00:26:15,638
A ticket? For what?
699
00:26:15,639 --> 00:26:17,606
Well, trespassing for starters.
700
00:26:17,607 --> 00:26:19,674
You've got to be kidding me!
701
00:26:19,675 --> 00:26:21,475
Please, let's keep the tone civil, ma'am
702
00:26:21,476 --> 00:26:22,544
and could you come on down here, please?
703
00:26:22,545 --> 00:26:23,744
No.
704
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:26,581
No?
No. You come up here.
705
00:26:26,582 --> 00:26:27,916
It's a private road.
706
00:26:27,917 --> 00:26:29,517
Well, now, if I have to
707
00:26:29,518 --> 00:26:30,618
come up there,
708
00:26:30,619 --> 00:26:32,086
it's not gonna be good.
709
00:26:32,087 --> 00:26:33,620
Make my day.
710
00:26:36,057 --> 00:26:39,192
Well.
711
00:26:39,193 --> 00:26:40,861
This must be some kind of record for you.
712
00:26:40,862 --> 00:26:42,529
Three days in a new town
713
00:26:42,530 --> 00:26:43,597
and you're already handcuffed
714
00:26:43,598 --> 00:26:44,831
in the back of a police car.
715
00:26:44,832 --> 00:26:46,399
I'm ziptied. Not handcuffed.
716
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:48,234
Oh. Is there a difference?
717
00:26:48,235 --> 00:26:49,870
There's so many interesting things
718
00:26:49,871 --> 00:26:51,171
I can learn from you.
This is beyond ridiculous.
719
00:26:51,172 --> 00:26:53,305
I have rights!
720
00:26:53,306 --> 00:26:54,440
If I were you, I'd keep that sentiment
721
00:26:54,441 --> 00:26:55,975
to myself.
722
00:26:55,976 --> 00:26:58,277
Come on. I sprung you.
723
00:26:58,278 --> 00:27:00,278
Is that the proper lingo?
724
00:27:01,815 --> 00:27:03,748
Oh god.
725
00:27:07,054 --> 00:27:08,853
All right, Clayton.
I'll take it from here.
726
00:27:08,854 --> 00:27:10,956
We'll just call it a misunderstanding.
727
00:27:10,957 --> 00:27:11,890
Thank you.
728
00:27:11,891 --> 00:27:13,157
Mmhmm.
729
00:27:24,302 --> 00:27:25,535
You're just lucky I swing dance
730
00:27:25,536 --> 00:27:28,138
with the police chief.
731
00:27:28,139 --> 00:27:29,372
What are you doing?
732
00:27:29,373 --> 00:27:31,008
I gotta get hubbell's car back.
733
00:27:31,009 --> 00:27:33,077
And how do you plan to do that, exactly?
734
00:27:33,078 --> 00:27:34,845
I think I'm gonna fly by the
seat of my pants on this one.
735
00:27:34,846 --> 00:27:36,080
You just got arrested for doing
736
00:27:36,081 --> 00:27:37,147
what you're doing again.
737
00:27:37,148 --> 00:27:39,216
Well, fortunately, my motherinlaw
738
00:27:39,217 --> 00:27:41,717
swing dances with the police chief.
739
00:27:51,311 --> 00:27:53,111
Come on, boo. Sleep over.
740
00:27:53,112 --> 00:27:55,313
Thanks, but I'm really not in the mood.
741
00:27:55,314 --> 00:27:57,949
If you come, it'll be
a real sleep over party
742
00:27:57,950 --> 00:27:59,450
instead of just me and Mel
sleeping together.
743
00:27:59,451 --> 00:28:02,087
Mm.
That sounded wrong.
744
00:28:02,088 --> 00:28:03,922
It sounded like you are my lovah.
745
00:28:03,923 --> 00:28:05,556
And I am not your lovah.
746
00:28:05,557 --> 00:28:06,891
You guys are nuts.
747
00:28:06,892 --> 00:28:07,926
Don't you want another shot
748
00:28:07,927 --> 00:28:08,959
with my brother?
We can help.
749
00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:10,360
We'll come up with a plan.
750
00:28:10,361 --> 00:28:11,294
I think Charlie's had enough of me
751
00:28:11,295 --> 00:28:12,663
for one day.
752
00:28:12,664 --> 00:28:13,797
I'm just gonna go home,
753
00:28:13,798 --> 00:28:15,465
sit in a dark closet
754
00:28:15,466 --> 00:28:16,800
where no one can stare at me.
755
00:28:16,801 --> 00:28:18,401
I could kill Sasha.
756
00:28:18,402 --> 00:28:19,937
I know. Sometimes she's so awful.
757
00:28:19,938 --> 00:28:21,672
Seriously, I was ready to strangle her.
758
00:28:21,673 --> 00:28:23,373
And she's got that
skinny stranglable neck.
759
00:28:23,374 --> 00:28:24,974
Minimal effort required.
760
00:28:24,975 --> 00:28:26,009
I know you're supposed to have
761
00:28:26,010 --> 00:28:27,209
a mean girlfriend in high school...
762
00:28:27,210 --> 00:28:28,410
I've seen all the movies...
763
00:28:28,411 --> 00:28:30,613
But this is getting really exhausting.
764
00:28:30,614 --> 00:28:31,614
Yeah, one day she's nice,
765
00:28:31,615 --> 00:28:32,781
the next day, she's this.
766
00:28:32,782 --> 00:28:33,882
Hmm. We should force her to wear a sign
767
00:28:33,883 --> 00:28:35,083
so we're prepared.
768
00:28:35,084 --> 00:28:36,718
Yeah. "Hi, I'm Sasha,"
769
00:28:36,719 --> 00:28:38,319
"and today I'm going
to be a colossal bitch."
770
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:38,854
You shouldn't talk about Sasha like that
771
00:28:38,855 --> 00:28:40,522
behind her back.
772
00:28:40,523 --> 00:28:41,923
She was so mean to you today in class.
773
00:28:41,924 --> 00:28:42,924
She's having a bad day.
774
00:28:42,925 --> 00:28:43,725
Seems like every day nowadays
775
00:28:43,726 --> 00:28:45,426
is a bad day.
776
00:28:45,427 --> 00:28:46,862
Seriously, boo. How can you defend her
777
00:28:46,863 --> 00:28:48,396
after what she did?
778
00:28:48,397 --> 00:28:49,563
Who knows what she's going through?
779
00:28:49,564 --> 00:28:51,231
She's got a lot of issues
780
00:28:51,232 --> 00:28:52,967
and weird things going on at home.
781
00:28:52,968 --> 00:28:54,702
And that's probably why she acts that way.
782
00:28:54,703 --> 00:28:57,071
And sometimes people look like they have
783
00:28:57,072 --> 00:28:58,272
it all together, but who knows
784
00:28:58,273 --> 00:29:00,207
what's really going on?
785
00:29:00,208 --> 00:29:01,642
You have no idea what it's like
786
00:29:01,643 --> 00:29:02,943
to be me, boo.
787
00:29:02,944 --> 00:29:04,678
So don't psychoanalyze me,
788
00:29:04,679 --> 00:29:05,912
feel sorry for me or defend me.
789
00:29:05,913 --> 00:29:08,214
I'm fine.
790
00:29:08,215 --> 00:29:08,948
You're the one who needs to hide
791
00:29:08,949 --> 00:29:10,416
in the back of the room.
792
00:29:21,895 --> 00:29:23,162
Come on, let's go.
793
00:29:23,163 --> 00:29:24,963
Bye.
Bye.
794
00:29:24,964 --> 00:29:26,130
Girls.
795
00:29:28,902 --> 00:29:29,935
Hey, nanette, make boo change her mind
796
00:29:29,936 --> 00:29:30,903
and come sleep over.
797
00:29:30,904 --> 00:29:32,237
Yeah, we need her.
798
00:29:32,238 --> 00:29:33,138
We do. We bore each other.
799
00:29:33,139 --> 00:29:34,872
A lot.
800
00:29:39,011 --> 00:29:40,178
Your friends are having a sleep over.
801
00:29:40,179 --> 00:29:40,878
Why don't you want to go?
802
00:29:40,879 --> 00:29:42,580
Oh, because,
803
00:29:42,581 --> 00:29:44,115
I have homework, and the adult thing to do
804
00:29:44,116 --> 00:29:46,350
is to stay home and do it.
805
00:29:46,351 --> 00:29:48,619
Okay, but I think you should go.
806
00:29:48,620 --> 00:29:50,054
Why?
Because you're only young once,
807
00:29:50,055 --> 00:29:51,288
and dinner at home tonight
808
00:29:51,289 --> 00:29:52,389
is going to be terrible.
809
00:29:52,390 --> 00:29:53,990
I'm serious. Save yourself.
810
00:29:53,991 --> 00:29:55,258
What are you talking about?
811
00:29:55,259 --> 00:29:56,793
Well I finally made a recipe
812
00:29:56,794 --> 00:29:57,594
from that new light cookbook,
813
00:29:57,595 --> 00:29:58,862
the one you made me buy.
814
00:29:58,863 --> 00:29:59,963
Thanks, mom.
Do not thank me.
815
00:29:59,964 --> 00:30:01,397
I am thanking you.
816
00:30:01,398 --> 00:30:02,298
It's light macaroni and cheese.
817
00:30:02,299 --> 00:30:03,834
Then double thank you.
818
00:30:03,835 --> 00:30:05,435
Yeah, see, there's a smell.
819
00:30:05,436 --> 00:30:07,204
A smell?
820
00:30:07,205 --> 00:30:08,705
The entire house smells.
821
00:30:08,706 --> 00:30:10,305
Now I have never
smelled a dead foot before
822
00:30:10,306 --> 00:30:11,373
but...
I'm sure dinner
823
00:30:11,374 --> 00:30:12,641
will be healthy, and good,
824
00:30:12,642 --> 00:30:13,642
and I love you for trying.
825
00:30:13,643 --> 00:30:14,710
Sniff my shirt.
826
00:30:14,711 --> 00:30:15,845
What?
827
00:30:15,846 --> 00:30:16,878
Sniff it.
828
00:30:20,683 --> 00:30:22,417
Told you it was bad.
829
00:30:22,418 --> 00:30:24,586
Wow. That is...
830
00:30:24,587 --> 00:30:26,087
So bad.
Dead foot?
831
00:30:26,088 --> 00:30:28,556
Total dead foot.
832
00:30:28,557 --> 00:30:31,092
How is that smell even possible?
833
00:30:31,093 --> 00:30:32,326
It's like I can't stop myself.
834
00:30:32,327 --> 00:30:33,527
Maybe that's the diet.
835
00:30:43,271 --> 00:30:46,740
Naahahah. Lap, please.
836
00:30:46,741 --> 00:30:49,810
You would not even
believe my day. Harrowing.
837
00:30:49,811 --> 00:30:51,011
"The Poseidon adventure"
and I'm Shelly winters.
838
00:30:51,012 --> 00:30:53,480
I am a knot, one giant knot.
839
00:30:53,481 --> 00:30:55,215
I can't even think about dinner.
840
00:30:55,216 --> 00:30:56,683
I've scheduled a massage for tonight.
841
00:30:56,684 --> 00:30:58,484
Henri just barely
managed to squeeze me in,
842
00:30:58,485 --> 00:30:59,585
and your father is going to be out late
843
00:30:59,586 --> 00:31:01,387
again.
844
00:31:01,388 --> 00:31:02,755
So what do you want to do?
845
00:31:02,756 --> 00:31:03,990
There's takeout
846
00:31:03,991 --> 00:31:05,258
or something frozen.
847
00:31:05,259 --> 00:31:07,794
I think.
848
00:31:07,795 --> 00:31:08,995
Do you just want to go have
dinner with your friends?
849
00:31:08,996 --> 00:31:10,529
No.
850
00:31:12,032 --> 00:31:13,531
Okay.
851
00:31:34,464 --> 00:31:36,232
Hello.
Why?
852
00:31:36,233 --> 00:31:38,034
Why, why does anyone
have to live so far away
853
00:31:38,035 --> 00:31:39,302
from civilization?
854
00:31:39,303 --> 00:31:40,303
Pardon me?
I mean,
855
00:31:40,304 --> 00:31:41,304
this private road of yours
856
00:31:41,305 --> 00:31:42,638
is really misleading.
857
00:31:42,639 --> 00:31:44,207
You go up a straightaway,
858
00:31:44,208 --> 00:31:45,775
you think you're almost at the house,
859
00:31:45,776 --> 00:31:47,143
you round a bend, more straightaway.
860
00:31:47,144 --> 00:31:48,677
So you go up that, you round a bend,
861
00:31:48,678 --> 00:31:49,578
more straightaway.
862
00:31:49,579 --> 00:31:50,846
And on and on.
863
00:31:50,847 --> 00:31:52,581
You get some kind of deal
864
00:31:52,582 --> 00:31:53,916
with straightaways?
You had a coupon or something?
865
00:31:53,917 --> 00:31:55,017
May I ask who you are?
866
00:31:55,018 --> 00:31:56,151
Have I not introduced myself?
867
00:31:56,152 --> 00:31:58,353
No.
You had no sign.
868
00:31:58,354 --> 00:31:59,321
What?
You have no privateroad sign,
869
00:31:59,322 --> 00:32:01,123
and my car died,
870
00:32:01,124 --> 00:32:02,791
and I got arrested,
and I must sound like a loon.
871
00:32:02,792 --> 00:32:03,825
It's all a big misunderstanding,
872
00:32:03,826 --> 00:32:04,792
do you have any water?
Sure.
873
00:32:04,793 --> 00:32:06,393
I'm Grant.
874
00:32:06,394 --> 00:32:08,395
Oh, have I still not introduced myself?
875
00:32:08,396 --> 00:32:10,164
No.
Oh, it's those straightaways.
876
00:32:10,165 --> 00:32:11,899
They suck the politeness
right out of your head,
877
00:32:11,900 --> 00:32:13,101
I'm Michelle.
878
00:32:13,102 --> 00:32:14,001
Come on in, Michelle.
879
00:32:14,002 --> 00:32:16,971
Wait a second.
880
00:32:16,972 --> 00:32:18,672
What happened to those
cell phone tower guys?
881
00:32:18,673 --> 00:32:20,506
I have no idea what you're talking about.
882
00:32:21,609 --> 00:32:22,908
Okay.
883
00:32:25,747 --> 00:32:27,214
You have a very large door.
884
00:32:27,215 --> 00:32:30,717
That's what all the ladies say.
885
00:32:30,718 --> 00:32:32,718
Wow, this place is so cool.
886
00:32:33,721 --> 00:32:34,788
I'll get that water for you.
887
00:32:34,789 --> 00:32:37,022
Oh, you have a view.
888
00:32:37,023 --> 00:32:38,490
Help me out, what should I be looking for?
889
00:32:38,491 --> 00:32:41,326
Uh, whales, dolphins, seals.
890
00:32:41,327 --> 00:32:42,995
Uh, there's a nude beach
891
00:32:42,996 --> 00:32:45,297
about two miles up to the left.
892
00:32:45,298 --> 00:32:47,166
Aah! Why is it that
the people on nude beaches...
893
00:32:47,167 --> 00:32:48,801
Are never the ones you want to see naked?
894
00:32:48,802 --> 00:32:49,835
I don't know.
Why do you look?
895
00:32:49,836 --> 00:32:51,370
I can't help it.
896
00:32:51,371 --> 00:32:53,604
It's a biological disaster zone.
897
00:32:53,605 --> 00:32:55,573
It's like two miles of dali paintings
898
00:32:55,574 --> 00:32:56,941
walking around free.
899
00:32:58,911 --> 00:32:59,811
So, your car?
900
00:32:59,812 --> 00:33:01,612
Yes.
901
00:33:01,613 --> 00:33:02,881
It broke down at the base of the road,
902
00:33:02,882 --> 00:33:04,082
and no one will tow it
903
00:33:04,083 --> 00:33:05,116
because it's a private road...
904
00:33:05,117 --> 00:33:06,384
Completely unmarked, by the way.
905
00:33:06,385 --> 00:33:07,818
I keep putting signs up,
906
00:33:07,819 --> 00:33:09,286
but there's this local cop
907
00:33:09,287 --> 00:33:10,287
who drives by at night and steals them.
908
00:33:10,288 --> 00:33:11,554
Bad mustache?
Yep.
909
00:33:11,555 --> 00:33:13,356
That dude just tried to arrest me.
910
00:33:13,357 --> 00:33:14,691
I'm gonna talk to my
chauffeur about your car.
911
00:33:14,692 --> 00:33:16,260
He knows cars.
912
00:33:16,261 --> 00:33:16,960
You have a chauffeur?
913
00:33:16,961 --> 00:33:18,796
Wow.
914
00:33:18,797 --> 00:33:20,430
Barry manilow has a chauffeur.
915
00:33:20,431 --> 00:33:21,731
I worked with him a few times in Vegas.
916
00:33:21,732 --> 00:33:22,933
Really? As what?
917
00:33:22,934 --> 00:33:24,834
Dancer.
918
00:33:24,835 --> 00:33:26,135
I'm a dancer. Was a dancer.
919
00:33:26,136 --> 00:33:27,469
You quit?
920
00:33:27,470 --> 00:33:29,305
Manilow? No no, the gig ended.
921
00:33:29,306 --> 00:33:30,306
But seriously, how many times
922
00:33:30,307 --> 00:33:31,473
can you hear "copacabana"
923
00:33:31,474 --> 00:33:32,341
without totally siding with rico?
924
00:33:32,342 --> 00:33:33,575
No. You quit dancing?
925
00:33:33,576 --> 00:33:36,979
Oh.
926
00:33:36,980 --> 00:33:38,247
Did you know that
he flies home every night
927
00:33:38,248 --> 00:33:39,248
to palm Springs?
928
00:33:39,249 --> 00:33:40,615
When he plays Vegas?
929
00:33:40,816 --> 00:33:41,983
Who?
930
00:33:41,984 --> 00:33:43,218
Manilow. Just so he can sleep
931
00:33:43,219 --> 00:33:45,219
in his own bed. That's rich.
932
00:33:47,589 --> 00:33:49,657
Hey, rusty. Yeah, I got a friend
933
00:33:49,658 --> 00:33:50,959
who has a problem with her car.
934
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:52,994
Do you mind taking a look at it?
935
00:33:52,995 --> 00:33:54,930
Yeah, it's at the base
of the driveway. Thanks.
936
00:33:54,931 --> 00:33:56,496
You're calling that autobahn you have
937
00:33:56,497 --> 00:33:59,466
on your property a driveway?
938
00:33:59,467 --> 00:34:01,468
Boy, you are rich. You're manilow rich.
939
00:34:01,469 --> 00:34:03,603
So tell me, what inspired you
940
00:34:03,604 --> 00:34:05,739
to become the mystery man
941
00:34:05,740 --> 00:34:07,374
of paradise, California anyhow?
942
00:34:07,375 --> 00:34:08,608
What do you mean?
943
00:34:08,609 --> 00:34:09,844
Well, I bet you could live
944
00:34:09,845 --> 00:34:12,611
anywhere you wanted, why here?
945
00:34:12,612 --> 00:34:14,413
Well, I bought this place
years ago as an investment,
946
00:34:14,414 --> 00:34:15,715
but lately I've been spending
947
00:34:15,716 --> 00:34:16,415
more and more time here,
948
00:34:16,416 --> 00:34:18,184
and I like it.
949
00:34:18,185 --> 00:34:19,319
I hike, I ride my mountain bike,
950
00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:21,087
surf, read.
951
00:34:21,088 --> 00:34:21,955
It's a nice life.
952
00:34:21,956 --> 00:34:23,522
I just got here
953
00:34:23,523 --> 00:34:26,025
two days ago.
954
00:34:26,026 --> 00:34:27,993
I'm that girl, you know,
the one that married the guy
955
00:34:27,994 --> 00:34:29,962
in Vegas. I'm not having
any wine by the way.
956
00:34:29,963 --> 00:34:31,196
This isn't for you.
957
00:34:31,197 --> 00:34:32,931
You know, we came here,
958
00:34:32,932 --> 00:34:34,199
there was a party,
959
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:36,034
there was an accident.
960
00:34:36,035 --> 00:34:37,936
It was the front page
of the "paradise gazette."
961
00:34:37,937 --> 00:34:39,604
I don't get the "gazette."
962
00:34:39,605 --> 00:34:40,239
Paper boy won't come up the...
963
00:34:40,240 --> 00:34:41,240
Private road.
964
00:34:41,241 --> 00:34:42,241
Oh, yeah, sure.
965
00:34:42,242 --> 00:34:44,375
Anyhow, um,
966
00:34:44,376 --> 00:34:45,943
now I'm here and...
967
00:34:45,944 --> 00:34:47,879
I'm kind of stuck,
968
00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:49,613
stuck with a house and acreage,
969
00:34:49,614 --> 00:34:51,916
lake, a couple ponds.
970
00:34:51,917 --> 00:34:52,884
It's not me, you know?
971
00:34:52,885 --> 00:34:54,551
I'm not a land owner.
972
00:34:54,552 --> 00:34:55,786
I'm more of a renter.
973
00:34:55,787 --> 00:34:57,121
And not a land renter either,
974
00:34:57,122 --> 00:34:58,322
an apartment renter...
975
00:34:58,323 --> 00:34:59,823
A studio apartment renter.
976
00:34:59,824 --> 00:35:00,857
I don't even want to tell you
977
00:35:00,858 --> 00:35:01,858
the longest lease I ever signed...
978
00:35:01,859 --> 00:35:02,926
Six months.
I didn't know
979
00:35:02,927 --> 00:35:04,027
there were sixmonth leases.
980
00:35:04,028 --> 00:35:05,628
Oh, there are. And I have signed them.
981
00:35:05,629 --> 00:35:07,497
And then worried for the next five months
982
00:35:07,498 --> 00:35:10,066
that I was trapped in some
huge, binding legal commitment
983
00:35:10,067 --> 00:35:11,834
that would ruin my life
if something fabulous
984
00:35:11,835 --> 00:35:13,069
came along and I couldn't seize it,
985
00:35:13,070 --> 00:35:14,704
or follow it or move in with it.
986
00:35:14,705 --> 00:35:15,705
Sounds like you enjoy your freedom.
987
00:35:15,706 --> 00:35:17,606
Yes. That's it.
988
00:35:17,607 --> 00:35:19,041
That's it. I'm a free spirit.
989
00:35:19,042 --> 00:35:21,443
I'm a... I'm a rolling stone.
990
00:35:21,444 --> 00:35:23,211
I'm a dust in the air kind of girl.
991
00:35:23,212 --> 00:35:25,046
Wind.
992
00:35:25,047 --> 00:35:27,148
Wind. What's wind
to you is air to me, pal.
993
00:35:27,149 --> 00:35:29,083
Point is, I can't be nailed down.
994
00:35:29,084 --> 00:35:31,052
I can't worry about termites,
995
00:35:31,053 --> 00:35:33,254
or corrosion.
996
00:35:33,255 --> 00:35:34,889
You know the last time
I had a conversation
997
00:35:34,890 --> 00:35:36,224
about septic tanks?
998
00:35:36,225 --> 00:35:37,358
Nope.
Never!
999
00:35:37,359 --> 00:35:39,092
Never is the last time.
1000
00:35:39,093 --> 00:35:40,093
I honestly didn't think
there was a scenario
1001
00:35:40,094 --> 00:35:41,962
after the 1800s
1002
00:35:41,963 --> 00:35:43,430
where people crapped
in the ground behind their house
1003
00:35:43,431 --> 00:35:44,564
and then just left it there.
1004
00:35:44,565 --> 00:35:45,899
But apparently there is,
1005
00:35:45,900 --> 00:35:47,067
and suddenly, I'm thinking about it,
1006
00:35:47,068 --> 00:35:48,268
talking about it.
1007
00:35:48,269 --> 00:35:50,103
I'm septic tank girl.
1008
00:35:50,104 --> 00:35:51,671
I wouldn't repeat "septic tank girl"
1009
00:35:51,672 --> 00:35:53,240
if I were you.
1010
00:35:53,241 --> 00:35:54,207
You say something like that once
1011
00:35:54,208 --> 00:35:55,408
around here, and it sticks.
1012
00:35:55,409 --> 00:35:56,142
That's how I got the name "bill."
1013
00:35:56,143 --> 00:35:58,177
I could sell the place.
1014
00:35:58,178 --> 00:36:00,512
It's mine to sell.
1015
00:36:00,513 --> 00:36:02,614
I don't want roots.
1016
00:36:02,615 --> 00:36:04,615
And the roots are rotting anyway.
1017
00:36:05,218 --> 00:36:07,019
Rotting?
Mm.
1018
00:36:07,020 --> 00:36:08,520
The tree roots...
They're rotting underground
1019
00:36:08,521 --> 00:36:09,588
and all the trees are gonna fall down
1020
00:36:09,589 --> 00:36:10,823
unless I spend $40,000 on them.
1021
00:36:10,824 --> 00:36:12,557
$40,000...
1022
00:36:12,558 --> 00:36:14,426
And the sea air is eating everything.
1023
00:36:14,427 --> 00:36:15,360
And the squirrels are about to explode.
1024
00:36:15,361 --> 00:36:16,027
Can I ask you where you get
1025
00:36:16,028 --> 00:36:16,995
your information?
1026
00:36:16,996 --> 00:36:19,297
A real estate agent.
1027
00:36:19,298 --> 00:36:20,798
Oh, god. You're not dealing
with Claire, are you?
1028
00:36:20,799 --> 00:36:22,233
Don't listen to her.
1029
00:36:22,234 --> 00:36:23,234
Really?
Claire's an idiot.
1030
00:36:23,235 --> 00:36:24,469
She is?
Yeah.
1031
00:36:24,470 --> 00:36:26,471
Oh, great.
1032
00:36:26,472 --> 00:36:28,205
Yeah. I thought that bark beetle stuff
1033
00:36:28,206 --> 00:36:29,806
sounded fishy.
1034
00:36:29,807 --> 00:36:31,408
Bark beetles? You have bark beetles?
1035
00:36:31,409 --> 00:36:32,876
Eesh.
Eesh? Why eesh?
1036
00:36:32,877 --> 00:36:33,543
Well, those are tough.
1037
00:36:33,544 --> 00:36:35,179
Crap.
1038
00:36:35,180 --> 00:36:36,280
No, it's okay. There's a spray.
1039
00:36:36,281 --> 00:36:37,848
A spray?
Yeah.
1040
00:36:37,849 --> 00:36:39,549
Works like magic and it won't cost you
1041
00:36:39,550 --> 00:36:40,985
$40,000, not by a long shot.
1042
00:36:40,986 --> 00:36:42,319
I get your point.
1043
00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:44,487
Home ownership isn't for everyone.
1044
00:36:44,488 --> 00:36:46,389
It's a commitment.
1045
00:36:46,390 --> 00:36:47,056
You have to make sure you really want it.
1046
00:36:47,057 --> 00:36:48,223
Yeah.
1047
00:36:49,759 --> 00:36:51,260
You can always sell.
1048
00:36:51,261 --> 00:36:52,462
And sell my motherinlaw with it.
1049
00:36:52,463 --> 00:36:53,463
I can't do that to her.
1050
00:36:53,464 --> 00:36:54,830
Well, give her a cut.
1051
00:36:54,831 --> 00:36:56,632
Big cut.
1052
00:36:56,633 --> 00:36:57,633
She could buy a nice condo,
1053
00:36:57,634 --> 00:36:58,534
and you can go home.
1054
00:36:58,535 --> 00:37:00,268
Home. Where?
1055
00:37:00,269 --> 00:37:01,503
Back to Vegas.
1056
00:37:01,504 --> 00:37:03,171
Vegas isn't my home.
1057
00:37:03,172 --> 00:37:04,172
It's just where I lived
1058
00:37:04,173 --> 00:37:05,440
for the past 8 years.
1059
00:37:05,441 --> 00:37:07,642
God help me if Vegas is my home.
1060
00:37:07,643 --> 00:37:09,111
It's nobody's home.
I told you about manilow.
1061
00:37:09,112 --> 00:37:10,812
Okay. So... so if not Vegas,
1062
00:37:10,813 --> 00:37:12,447
then where?
1063
00:37:12,448 --> 00:37:13,848
I mean if you could go live anywhere,
1064
00:37:13,849 --> 00:37:15,616
where would it be?
1065
00:37:15,617 --> 00:37:16,250
Doesn't sound like you have anything
1066
00:37:16,251 --> 00:37:17,118
keeping you here.
1067
00:37:17,119 --> 00:37:18,619
So where?
1068
00:37:23,458 --> 00:37:25,726
Oh, wow. They won.
1069
00:37:25,727 --> 00:37:26,960
Who did?
The girls from the dance studio.
1070
00:37:26,961 --> 00:37:29,130
Part of my inheritance.
1071
00:37:29,131 --> 00:37:30,731
They had this ugliest feet competition
1072
00:37:30,732 --> 00:37:32,198
and they won!
1073
00:37:32,199 --> 00:37:33,699
They have the most disgusting feet
1074
00:37:33,700 --> 00:37:36,369
which is awesome and... wow.
1075
00:37:36,370 --> 00:37:38,071
Totally true. Yikes.
1076
00:37:38,072 --> 00:37:39,772
Oh god. Yeah, well, good for them.
1077
00:37:39,773 --> 00:37:41,707
A dancer with a dance studio.
1078
00:37:41,708 --> 00:37:43,708
That sounds like something.
1079
00:37:44,778 --> 00:37:45,878
Yeah.
1080
00:37:48,114 --> 00:37:50,349
Well.
1081
00:37:50,350 --> 00:37:52,051
You know, I think I will
have some of that wine.
1082
00:37:52,052 --> 00:37:54,619
Oh, this isn't for you.
1083
00:37:54,620 --> 00:37:55,820
It isn't? I thought you were kidding.
1084
00:37:55,821 --> 00:37:56,821
No, I have somebody
coming in a few minutes.
1085
00:37:56,822 --> 00:37:58,424
You have a date?
1086
00:37:58,425 --> 00:38:00,025
If she hasn't been arrested, yes.
1087
00:38:00,026 --> 00:38:01,960
Oh my god. I'll get out of your way.
1088
00:38:01,961 --> 00:38:03,461
No, it's okay.
You can stay until she gets here.
1089
00:38:03,462 --> 00:38:05,063
No, you've already done enough.
1090
00:38:05,064 --> 00:38:06,964
Um. I'll go check with rusty
1091
00:38:06,965 --> 00:38:09,100
on the car.
1092
00:38:09,101 --> 00:38:10,568
Thank you, though. Thank you so much.
1093
00:38:10,569 --> 00:38:12,369
I'll see myself out.
1094
00:38:13,338 --> 00:38:14,638
Can I have a ride?
1095
00:38:14,639 --> 00:38:16,439
Sure.
Thank you.
1096
00:38:45,623 --> 00:38:46,890
Boy, you really want to get
1097
00:38:46,891 --> 00:38:48,992
a good spot for class tomorrow.
1098
00:38:48,993 --> 00:38:51,227
What you doing?
Leaving.
1099
00:38:51,228 --> 00:38:52,696
Oh, don't let me chase you out of a place
1100
00:38:52,697 --> 00:38:53,830
you're really not supposed to be in.
1101
00:38:53,831 --> 00:38:54,931
Madame Fanny says we can come here
1102
00:38:54,932 --> 00:38:56,399
any time we want.
1103
00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:57,567
It's pretty late.
1104
00:38:57,568 --> 00:38:58,301
Is it?
No curfew?
1105
00:38:58,302 --> 00:39:00,069
Nope.
1106
00:39:00,070 --> 00:39:01,470
Do your parents know where you are?
1107
00:39:01,738 --> 00:39:03,305
Nope.
1108
00:39:03,306 --> 00:39:04,406
Where do they think you are?
1109
00:39:04,407 --> 00:39:05,874
In my bedroom.
1110
00:39:05,875 --> 00:39:07,843
Window, tree branch, drainpipe combo?
1111
00:39:07,844 --> 00:39:09,344
Back staircase,
1112
00:39:09,345 --> 00:39:11,279
kitchen door, side gate exit.
1113
00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:12,547
Bold. An inhouse escape.
1114
00:39:14,884 --> 00:39:16,317
What if they go in your room
and see you're not there?
1115
00:39:16,318 --> 00:39:17,852
That never happens.
1116
00:39:17,853 --> 00:39:18,820
But if it did.
It doesn't.
1117
00:39:18,821 --> 00:39:20,387
Let's pretend.
I'm not six.
1118
00:39:20,388 --> 00:39:21,956
Humor me.
1119
00:39:21,957 --> 00:39:23,190
Then I'll tell them
1120
00:39:23,191 --> 00:39:24,626
I was at Ginny's, and we fell asleep,
1121
00:39:24,627 --> 00:39:26,027
and I called but no one answered,
1122
00:39:26,028 --> 00:39:27,294
which is perfectly plausible because
1123
00:39:27,295 --> 00:39:29,130
they sleep with supersonic earplugs,
1124
00:39:29,131 --> 00:39:29,964
and there's no phone in their room.
1125
00:39:29,965 --> 00:39:32,699
Nice. Good.
1126
00:39:32,700 --> 00:39:34,467
I occasionally used
1127
00:39:34,468 --> 00:39:36,336
the "I was in the school library"
1128
00:39:36,337 --> 00:39:38,705
"and the janitor accidentally
locked me in."
1129
00:39:38,706 --> 00:39:40,206
"And this is not a hickey on my neck."
1130
00:39:40,207 --> 00:39:41,274
"How could I get a hickey
locked in the library"
1131
00:39:41,275 --> 00:39:42,342
"all night?" Story.
1132
00:39:42,343 --> 00:39:43,944
And they believed that?
1133
00:39:43,945 --> 00:39:45,211
Yep.
Were they morons?
1134
00:39:45,212 --> 00:39:46,346
Yep.
1135
00:39:48,015 --> 00:39:49,515
You okay?
1136
00:39:53,386 --> 00:39:54,520
Yep.
1137
00:39:56,056 --> 00:39:57,856
Be safe getting home.
1138
00:40:47,470 --> 00:40:49,371
Hello?
1139
00:42:00,405 --> 00:42:02,206
The entire area, and that means
1140
00:42:02,207 --> 00:42:04,375
more sunny skies and warm temperatures...
1141
00:42:27,698 --> 00:42:29,131
May I ask what you're doing?
1142
00:42:29,132 --> 00:42:31,500
I'm decanting some wine, Fanny.
1143
00:42:32,703 --> 00:42:34,470
And when I'm done,
1144
00:42:34,471 --> 00:42:36,672
I'm going to pour two glasses,
1145
00:42:36,673 --> 00:42:38,239
and then I'm going to explain
1146
00:42:38,240 --> 00:42:40,742
how I think all this
1147
00:42:40,743 --> 00:42:42,477
is going to work.
Oh, really?
1148
00:42:42,478 --> 00:42:44,045
Yes.
1149
00:42:44,046 --> 00:42:45,314
Should I start packing?
1150
00:42:45,315 --> 00:42:47,315
This is your home, Fanny.
1151
00:42:48,117 --> 00:42:49,050
Hubbell wouldn't want you to ever feel
1152
00:42:49,051 --> 00:42:51,286
that is isn't.
1153
00:42:51,287 --> 00:42:52,953
So you're going to stay here
1154
00:42:52,954 --> 00:42:55,456
in this house that you love,
1155
00:42:55,457 --> 00:42:57,090
and I'm going to move into the guest house
1156
00:42:57,091 --> 00:42:59,760
behind the studio.
1157
00:42:59,761 --> 00:43:01,128
And then what?
1158
00:43:01,129 --> 00:43:02,563
That's all I got so far.
1159
00:43:02,564 --> 00:43:04,365
Not much of a plan.
1160
00:43:04,366 --> 00:43:06,266
All I know
1161
00:43:06,267 --> 00:43:08,234
is that you are going to live here
1162
00:43:08,235 --> 00:43:09,902
and I'm going to live there,
1163
00:43:09,903 --> 00:43:11,371
and tonight
1164
00:43:11,372 --> 00:43:12,539
we are going to get very,
1165
00:43:12,540 --> 00:43:14,240
very drunk.
1166
00:43:22,850 --> 00:43:24,350
How long is that going to take?
1167
00:43:24,351 --> 00:43:26,785
A very...
1168
00:43:26,786 --> 00:43:29,388
Very...
1169
00:43:29,389 --> 00:43:31,389
Long...
1170
00:43:33,992 --> 00:43:35,159
Time.
1171
00:43:35,184 --> 00:43:39,684
Sync and corrections by atrn97g
for www.Addic7ed.Com
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