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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:15,239 --> 00:00:16,529 How was your journey? 2 00:00:20,207 --> 00:00:21,417 It was terrible. 3 00:00:21,502 --> 00:00:24,842 I got the bus because I'm poor. And it smelt like warm, raw chicken. 4 00:00:24,925 --> 00:00:25,925 And I'm really nervous, 5 00:00:26,010 --> 00:00:28,449 so I thought I was gonna shit myself the whole way in, but I didn't. 6 00:00:28,473 --> 00:00:31,353 And if I'm sitting weirdly, it's because I think my tampon's come out. 7 00:00:31,437 --> 00:00:34,198 I didn't have time to go to the bathroom downstairs 'cause I slept in. 8 00:00:34,235 --> 00:00:36,985 Because I spent so long last night trying to make myself come, 9 00:00:37,074 --> 00:00:38,794 but I couldn't 'cause of my antidepressants. 10 00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:42,996 I don't know why I just told you that. 11 00:00:43,838 --> 00:00:44,838 It's my thing. 12 00:00:46,426 --> 00:00:47,466 Don't worry. 13 00:00:47,554 --> 00:00:50,644 If you're the right candidate, the truth can only work in your favour. 14 00:00:50,727 --> 00:00:53,607 Oh, I hate that. Yeah, that's awful for me. 15 00:00:53,691 --> 00:00:57,201 So it's a cliché, I know, but why do you want to work here? 16 00:00:57,281 --> 00:00:59,201 I don't, but I need money to live. 17 00:00:59,285 --> 00:01:01,285 You've got a two-one in English literature. 18 00:01:01,372 --> 00:01:04,882 No, I dropped out. But I'm... I was too embarrassed to tell anyone. 19 00:01:04,963 --> 00:01:07,513 So I pretended to go every day for a year. 20 00:01:07,594 --> 00:01:09,866 But, really, I just wandered around the big Primark in town. 21 00:01:09,890 --> 00:01:11,452 What would you say your greatest weakness is? 22 00:01:11,476 --> 00:01:14,186 Crippling insecurity. I'm selfish, kinda lazy. I lack ambition. 23 00:01:14,273 --> 00:01:15,993 I'm stubborn, argumentative, jealous. 24 00:01:16,069 --> 00:01:17,882 I only wash my hands if there's someone else in the bathroom. 25 00:01:17,906 --> 00:01:20,667 Don't think I'm capable of love. I am worried I'm a little bit racist. 26 00:01:22,206 --> 00:01:25,166 I'm a bit afraid to ask this, but do you have any questions for me? 27 00:01:27,884 --> 00:01:30,144 Do you have a gross eye hole under there? 28 00:01:34,105 --> 00:01:35,105 I'm so sorry. 29 00:01:35,983 --> 00:01:38,613 I see you haven't got your power down on here. 30 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:43,330 That's because I don't have one yet. 31 00:01:45,085 --> 00:01:49,585 We interview a lot of candidates. What makes you special? 32 00:01:58,904 --> 00:02:00,164 I don't know. 33 00:02:03,747 --> 00:02:04,997 Yeah. How's Rachel? 34 00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:06,673 I'm fetching her right now. 35 00:02:06,753 --> 00:02:07,803 - Oh, yeah? - How are you? 36 00:02:07,881 --> 00:02:09,381 Yeah, good. I'm great. 37 00:02:55,350 --> 00:02:56,350 Nice one, mate. 38 00:03:09,838 --> 00:03:12,428 It's my sister's 18th on Saturday if you wanna come. 39 00:03:13,386 --> 00:03:16,426 It's probably gonna be shit-ish, but, you know, free cake. 40 00:03:16,518 --> 00:03:18,898 And my mum always buys too much wine. 41 00:03:19,481 --> 00:03:20,821 You've got a sister? 42 00:03:20,902 --> 00:03:25,622 Yeah, Andy. I've mentioned her, I think. A few times. 43 00:03:25,703 --> 00:03:27,083 That's mad. 44 00:03:29,293 --> 00:03:32,593 If you're busy, it's totally fine. No worries at all. 45 00:03:32,675 --> 00:03:34,505 Option's there. You're more than welcome. 46 00:03:34,596 --> 00:03:36,176 It'd be cool if you came, I suppose. 47 00:03:38,102 --> 00:03:40,782 ♪ We're gonna give you everything You've ever wanted ♪ 48 00:03:41,693 --> 00:03:43,743 ♪ Hang a banner with your name upon it ♪ 49 00:03:44,406 --> 00:03:47,196 ♪ Pour three shots in a glass Call it a martini ♪ 50 00:03:47,287 --> 00:03:49,367 ♪ All you've got to do is Put on this little bikini ♪ 51 00:03:49,416 --> 00:03:50,416 Every time. 52 00:03:50,503 --> 00:03:51,843 ♪ And dance ♪ 53 00:03:54,426 --> 00:03:56,806 ♪ D-d-d-d-d-d-dance ♪ 54 00:03:56,890 --> 00:03:57,980 ♪ Dance ♪ 55 00:04:00,146 --> 00:04:03,026 ♪ Put on this bikini and Dance, dance, dance ♪ 56 00:04:03,111 --> 00:04:04,951 ♪ D-d-d-d-d-d… ♪ 57 00:04:05,950 --> 00:04:09,920 Twenty-five years I wasted with that man. She's been with him 25 minutes. 58 00:04:09,999 --> 00:04:12,839 And they were the best 25 minutes of his life, you dumb bitch. 59 00:04:12,922 --> 00:04:15,802 Look, we can settle this today. 60 00:04:15,886 --> 00:04:17,806 If we can talk to Mr Greenham directly, 61 00:04:17,890 --> 00:04:19,610 then I'm certain he'll side with our client. 62 00:04:19,644 --> 00:04:20,774 Ms Jackson. 63 00:04:26,323 --> 00:04:27,333 Hi. Hello. 64 00:04:27,994 --> 00:04:29,504 I'm so sorry for your loss. 65 00:04:33,046 --> 00:04:34,086 Yes. Sorry. 66 00:04:50,413 --> 00:04:54,423 Oh, fuck off. Can I not get a moment of peace? 67 00:04:54,506 --> 00:04:56,636 - Mr Greenham... - I remember you from the divorce. 68 00:04:56,718 --> 00:04:59,808 Grown a moustache, have you? Didn't think you could look more like a nonce. 69 00:04:59,891 --> 00:05:03,271 I made it very clear in my will. 70 00:05:03,356 --> 00:05:06,106 Tanya gets everything. 71 00:05:07,322 --> 00:05:11,042 The Knightsbridge scarecrow gets nothing. 72 00:05:11,122 --> 00:05:14,882 And one more thing, go fuck yourselves. 73 00:05:25,024 --> 00:05:28,414 Once again, my deepest condolences. 74 00:05:29,491 --> 00:05:32,751 ♪ I got drunk and fell asleep Atop the sheets ♪ 75 00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:35,342 ♪ But luckily, I left the heater on ♪ 76 00:05:36,380 --> 00:05:37,630 Who are you? 77 00:05:37,717 --> 00:05:38,887 ♪ And in my dreams ♪ 78 00:05:38,969 --> 00:05:41,349 ♪ I wrote the best song That I've ever written ♪ 79 00:05:41,432 --> 00:05:43,692 ♪ Can't remember how it goes ♪ 80 00:05:45,816 --> 00:05:50,026 ♪ I stayed drunk and fell awake I was cycling on a plane ♪ 81 00:05:50,116 --> 00:05:51,196 Free cat? 82 00:05:51,285 --> 00:05:53,575 ♪ And far away I heard you say you liked me ♪ 83 00:05:53,665 --> 00:05:56,835 ♪ In my brain, I rearrange ♪ 84 00:05:56,922 --> 00:06:01,892 ♪ The letters on the page To spell your name ♪ 85 00:06:09,989 --> 00:06:14,999 ♪ Yours is a history That's written in stone ♪ 86 00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:17,804 ♪ There was a lady Who had built her own throne ♪ 87 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:19,880 Oh, my God. 88 00:06:19,968 --> 00:06:21,758 - Get out. - Does that say "Super Cock"? 89 00:06:21,846 --> 00:06:25,016 No, it says, "Super Clock." Clock. 90 00:06:25,103 --> 00:06:26,313 The "L" just fell down. 91 00:06:26,397 --> 00:06:28,397 I can see every square inch of your genitals. 92 00:06:28,484 --> 00:06:30,674 It's like when they vacuum pack meat at the supermarket. 93 00:06:30,698 --> 00:06:32,788 It's for a Halloween party. It's ironic. 94 00:06:32,868 --> 00:06:34,078 No way. Let me get my phone. 95 00:06:35,081 --> 00:06:36,251 No! 96 00:07:01,425 --> 00:07:02,795 Come on. 97 00:07:02,887 --> 00:07:04,887 ♪ Yours is a history That's written in stone ♪ 98 00:07:08,774 --> 00:07:11,994 ♪ There was a lady Who had built her own throne ♪ 99 00:07:12,072 --> 00:07:15,412 Don't come in. I'm… masturbating. 100 00:07:15,996 --> 00:07:18,496 Okay. Carrie said she'd be home late. 101 00:07:18,585 --> 00:07:20,205 Okay. I'm just finishing. 102 00:07:20,296 --> 00:07:24,636 ♪ To live in the moment And remove your mask ♪ 103 00:07:29,272 --> 00:07:30,652 Do you want a cup of tea? 104 00:07:30,734 --> 00:07:32,284 ♪ I see you gathering up... ♪ 105 00:07:32,362 --> 00:07:33,362 Yeah. Go on. 106 00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:41,877 He's obviously been mistreated. He's skin and bone. 107 00:07:41,965 --> 00:07:45,045 He's a dump truck. The landlord won't let you keep it in the flat anyway. 108 00:07:45,138 --> 00:07:47,034 - 'Cause all landlords are evil. - All landlords are evil. 109 00:07:47,058 --> 00:07:48,348 Yes. 110 00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:50,605 - Hello. - How was work? 111 00:07:54,406 --> 00:07:56,786 Everyone always gets angry with me when it goes badly. 112 00:07:56,870 --> 00:07:59,500 I'm just the messenger. It's not me saying it. 113 00:07:59,584 --> 00:08:02,674 Yeah, you're just a vessel. Like a sexy little carafe. 114 00:08:02,756 --> 00:08:04,176 Aw. 115 00:08:04,259 --> 00:08:06,349 Thank you, babe. 116 00:08:06,430 --> 00:08:08,230 - Well, why don't you just quit? - Yeah, quit. 117 00:08:08,309 --> 00:08:09,349 I can't just quit. 118 00:08:09,436 --> 00:08:11,186 Right. You have dependants. 119 00:08:11,273 --> 00:08:13,193 - I'm looking for a job. - Yeah. 120 00:08:13,277 --> 00:08:16,447 He spends all day in his room applying for jobs. Don't you, babe? 121 00:08:16,534 --> 00:08:17,544 Yes. 122 00:08:18,412 --> 00:08:19,752 It pays well. 123 00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:24,012 And they don't just use me for my power. They also ask me to make teas and coffees. 124 00:08:27,514 --> 00:08:30,564 Oh, no. I'm basically an appliance. 125 00:08:30,646 --> 00:08:32,356 Look, it could always be worse. 126 00:08:32,942 --> 00:08:35,282 Don't put yourself down like that, Jen. 127 00:08:36,574 --> 00:08:40,374 Or do you mean in general? Oh, you meant in general, didn't you? 128 00:08:40,456 --> 00:08:41,456 Yeah. 129 00:08:41,542 --> 00:08:43,252 You are such a brave little soldier. 130 00:08:43,337 --> 00:08:46,427 Carrie, I haven't got a power yet. I'm not, like, terminal. 131 00:08:46,511 --> 00:08:50,521 Hey. Maybe the real power is just being yourself. 132 00:08:50,602 --> 00:08:52,916 That is the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life. 133 00:08:52,940 --> 00:08:53,940 Absolutely not true. No. 134 00:08:54,860 --> 00:08:56,070 I know what will cheer you up. 135 00:08:56,154 --> 00:08:57,494 I'm not sad. 136 00:09:08,429 --> 00:09:11,269 Oh, God. Not you again. 137 00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:14,431 Hey, Hitler. Yeah, suck a dick. Everyone's cool with interracial marriage now. 138 00:09:14,482 --> 00:09:17,662 Yeah, you're inside my white girlfriend, and we fuck at least twice a month. 139 00:09:17,740 --> 00:09:18,580 Ooh! Who am I? 140 00:09:18,658 --> 00:09:21,538 Let's invade Russia in the winter because I'm a big dumb bitch. 141 00:09:21,623 --> 00:09:23,003 Okay. 142 00:09:23,083 --> 00:09:24,093 Very funny. 143 00:09:24,169 --> 00:09:25,759 Oh, the Jews are broadly doing okay. 144 00:09:25,839 --> 00:09:27,549 - Yeah. - La, la, la, la! 145 00:09:27,635 --> 00:09:29,385 I'm not listening. 146 00:09:29,471 --> 00:09:31,271 This is really childish. 147 00:09:35,567 --> 00:09:38,067 Right. Well, I'm off to go get railed by a stranger. 148 00:09:42,581 --> 00:09:44,671 ♪ My name is Maura They call me Gale ♪ 149 00:09:44,752 --> 00:09:47,382 ♪ I'm rapping so hot I have a story to tell ♪ 150 00:09:47,465 --> 00:09:49,675 ♪ I sing my songs all night long ♪ 151 00:09:49,762 --> 00:09:52,232 ♪ And I'm rapping to you On the microphone ♪ 152 00:09:52,308 --> 00:09:54,558 ♪ I can party hardy till the early light ♪ 153 00:09:56,441 --> 00:09:57,879 ♪ I can keep it going till the '79 ♪ 154 00:09:57,903 --> 00:09:59,033 ♪ Let your fingers pop ♪ 155 00:09:59,114 --> 00:10:00,324 ♪ Check out a sock hop ♪ 156 00:10:00,408 --> 00:10:02,868 ♪ Stick your finger in a socket And get a big shock ♪ 157 00:10:02,955 --> 00:10:04,915 ♪ Strive, strive all the way... ♪ 158 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,210 Oh, um... 159 00:10:06,294 --> 00:10:08,264 Sorry, I just need to put my glove on. 160 00:10:08,340 --> 00:10:09,760 Oh. 161 00:10:13,643 --> 00:10:14,813 Nice to meet you. 162 00:10:14,895 --> 00:10:16,395 Big Michael Jackson fan? 163 00:10:16,481 --> 00:10:18,111 No, he's an alleged sex offender. 164 00:10:18,862 --> 00:10:21,372 Right. Good we've established that early. 165 00:10:24,832 --> 00:10:26,752 Ooh! Vegan lasagne. 166 00:10:30,552 --> 00:10:32,152 I want to be completely honest with you. 167 00:10:35,979 --> 00:10:42,069 I have the power to make people orgasm with my touch. 168 00:10:43,536 --> 00:10:45,366 Whoa. 169 00:10:45,456 --> 00:10:48,626 - That's, um… That's really cool. - It's not cool. It's not. 170 00:10:48,713 --> 00:10:52,893 It's a common misconception that literally everyone I've ever met seems to hold. 171 00:10:54,182 --> 00:10:55,602 So, what's your power? 172 00:10:55,685 --> 00:10:57,895 Uh, I'm still waiting. 173 00:10:57,981 --> 00:10:59,571 Your profile said you were 25. 174 00:10:59,652 --> 00:11:02,492 - I am. Just a late bloomer. - I've never met anyone who waited so long. 175 00:11:02,533 --> 00:11:04,663 So how did you find out the whole come thing then? 176 00:11:04,745 --> 00:11:06,615 I bet it's a funny story. 177 00:11:06,707 --> 00:11:08,207 It's not a funny story, no. 178 00:11:09,797 --> 00:11:11,377 I promise not to laugh. 179 00:11:13,303 --> 00:11:16,853 It was my father's 60th birthday. 180 00:11:18,021 --> 00:11:21,821 We'd been estranged for some years, so it was a reunion of sorts. 181 00:11:22,906 --> 00:11:24,326 We were kicking a football around, 182 00:11:24,409 --> 00:11:27,249 which had always been a boyhood dream of mine. 183 00:11:27,331 --> 00:11:30,841 I saved an errant kick, which would've shattered a conservatory window. 184 00:11:31,549 --> 00:11:34,719 For the first time in my life, I felt like my father respected me as a man. 185 00:11:37,936 --> 00:11:39,766 Then he asked if he could shake my hand. 186 00:11:41,026 --> 00:11:42,146 Oh, I see. 187 00:11:42,863 --> 00:11:43,873 I was so proud. 188 00:11:43,948 --> 00:11:46,538 My entire extended family were there to witness the moment. 189 00:11:47,581 --> 00:11:52,091 They were all watching as the, uh, moment of contact arrived. 190 00:11:52,173 --> 00:11:53,183 Oh, no. 191 00:11:53,258 --> 00:11:57,058 He was wearing light-grey khakis so it was very obvious what was occurring. 192 00:11:57,141 --> 00:11:58,441 Of course, I was very confused. 193 00:11:58,519 --> 00:12:01,109 He was doubled over. I thought he was having a heart attack. 194 00:12:02,068 --> 00:12:05,578 So I opened his shirt to begin performing chest compressions. 195 00:12:05,659 --> 00:12:07,499 - And every time you... - Yes. 196 00:12:13,090 --> 00:12:15,680 Yeah, no, you're right. That is not funny. 197 00:12:16,471 --> 00:12:18,771 Khakis were ruined. 198 00:12:18,851 --> 00:12:22,231 Kash, you cannot seriously believe A. D. stands for "after dinosaurs." 199 00:12:22,316 --> 00:12:25,446 It does. 500 A.D. 500 years after dinosaurs. 200 00:12:25,532 --> 00:12:26,702 What else would it be? 201 00:12:27,201 --> 00:12:29,331 These shoes are so uncomfortable. 202 00:12:29,414 --> 00:12:30,674 Then why'd you wear them? 203 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:33,510 When you said you booked dinner, I thought it might be a fancy date. 204 00:12:33,589 --> 00:12:35,987 I didn't even know you could book a table at Bucket O' Pizza. 205 00:12:36,011 --> 00:12:37,641 And normally you can't… 206 00:12:37,723 --> 00:12:39,843 …but I've got a special relationship with the manager. 207 00:12:44,945 --> 00:12:46,485 - What are you doing? - Take these. 208 00:12:46,574 --> 00:12:48,624 - Oh, you... You don't have to. - Take the shoes. 209 00:12:54,255 --> 00:12:55,255 Thank you. 210 00:12:57,929 --> 00:13:00,229 - Hey! - Give me your purse. 211 00:13:00,309 --> 00:13:01,899 - And empty your pockets. - Um. 212 00:13:01,979 --> 00:13:04,069 Uh, here. Uh, take my phone. 213 00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:06,820 That piece of shit. Nah, mate. 214 00:13:06,906 --> 00:13:09,036 - The purse. Give it! - No, I've got money. 215 00:13:09,118 --> 00:13:10,498 - Um. - Come on. Quickly. 216 00:13:11,164 --> 00:13:13,754 - Just in my… - Now! I'm not fucking around! 217 00:13:13,836 --> 00:13:15,456 In my pocket! 218 00:13:15,548 --> 00:13:17,378 - Come on! - Ow! Right in the eye! 219 00:13:17,468 --> 00:13:19,468 ♪ Ooh, spell ♪ 220 00:13:19,556 --> 00:13:20,726 I'm gonna kiss you now. 221 00:13:20,809 --> 00:13:24,359 ♪ Ooh, spell ♪ 222 00:13:25,442 --> 00:13:29,492 ♪ Ooh, spell ♪ 223 00:13:31,539 --> 00:13:34,669 ♪ Ooh, spell ♪ 224 00:13:36,422 --> 00:13:38,092 ♪ I put a spell on you ♪ 225 00:13:38,176 --> 00:13:40,386 ♪ Ooh, spell ♪ 226 00:13:42,142 --> 00:13:44,312 ♪ Ooh, spell ♪ 227 00:13:44,397 --> 00:13:45,777 Would you like to… 228 00:13:45,859 --> 00:13:46,899 Yeah. 229 00:13:46,986 --> 00:13:49,316 ♪ 'Cause you're mine ♪ 230 00:13:49,407 --> 00:13:51,537 ♪ Ooh, spell ♪ 231 00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:56,548 ♪ Ooh, spell ♪ 232 00:13:57,339 --> 00:13:58,799 ♪ Stop the things you do ♪ 233 00:13:58,885 --> 00:13:59,885 Oh, uh... 234 00:13:59,928 --> 00:14:01,098 What are you doing? 235 00:14:01,682 --> 00:14:03,704 It's important to me to know that I can do it myself. 236 00:14:03,728 --> 00:14:07,688 ♪ Ooh, spell ♪ 237 00:14:07,777 --> 00:14:10,027 ♪ Watch out! ♪ 238 00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:14,423 ♪ I ain't lyin' ♪ 239 00:14:17,171 --> 00:14:19,341 ♪ Yeah ♪ 240 00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:22,135 ♪ I can't stand, woo ♪ 241 00:14:22,222 --> 00:14:23,682 ♪ No runnin' around ♪ 242 00:14:23,768 --> 00:14:25,648 ♪ Ooh, spell ♪ 243 00:14:25,730 --> 00:14:27,940 - Maybe just take the glove... - Give me a minute. 244 00:14:28,026 --> 00:14:29,196 ♪ I can't stand ♪ 245 00:14:29,278 --> 00:14:31,578 ♪ Ooh, spell ♪ 246 00:14:32,911 --> 00:14:35,001 ♪ I can't stand no puttin' me down ♪ 247 00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:38,252 ♪ Ooh, spell ♪ 248 00:14:38,338 --> 00:14:40,048 ♪ I put a spell on you ♪ 249 00:14:42,262 --> 00:14:44,562 Oh. Oh, ye... 250 00:14:45,143 --> 00:14:47,113 Oh, yeah. 251 00:14:47,189 --> 00:14:48,189 Oh, my God. 252 00:14:48,274 --> 00:14:50,534 Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was it. 253 00:14:50,613 --> 00:14:52,163 I just came. 254 00:14:52,241 --> 00:14:53,661 - You're welcome. - Hmm. 255 00:14:53,744 --> 00:14:56,884 - ♪ Ooh, spell ♪ - ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 256 00:14:58,128 --> 00:14:59,508 I think we should take it slow. 257 00:15:00,465 --> 00:15:02,295 ♪ Ooh… ♪ 258 00:15:02,386 --> 00:15:05,346 ♪ I don't care if you don't want me ♪ 259 00:15:05,852 --> 00:15:09,782 ♪ I'm yours right now ♪ 260 00:15:10,653 --> 00:15:12,203 ♪ Spell ♪ 261 00:15:12,281 --> 00:15:13,991 ♪ I put a spell on you ♪ 262 00:15:16,456 --> 00:15:17,496 Just to be safe. 263 00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:20,134 - ♪ Ooh… ♪ - ♪ Because… ♪ 264 00:15:22,217 --> 00:15:24,427 ♪ You're mine ♪ 265 00:15:24,514 --> 00:15:25,524 ♪ Spell ♪ 266 00:15:32,530 --> 00:15:35,450 Did you see me? I was all, like… 267 00:15:35,536 --> 00:15:37,286 Yeah, it was very brave of you. 268 00:15:37,372 --> 00:15:38,372 I should go after him. 269 00:15:38,458 --> 00:15:39,918 No, no. Don't do that. 270 00:15:40,003 --> 00:15:41,553 But he committed a crime. 271 00:15:41,632 --> 00:15:44,182 You bought your drug dealer a birthday card last year. 272 00:15:44,261 --> 00:15:46,561 He committed a crime on me. On you. 273 00:15:47,769 --> 00:15:49,899 Someone needs to clean up those streets. 274 00:15:51,902 --> 00:15:54,372 I am that hero. This is my destiny. 275 00:15:55,033 --> 00:15:57,293 Great. Is this destiny gonna be salaried? 276 00:15:57,371 --> 00:15:58,751 Gonna become a vigilante. 277 00:15:58,833 --> 00:15:59,923 Oh, no. 278 00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:03,381 No, I'm gonna assemble a team of vigilantes. 279 00:16:03,466 --> 00:16:07,016 Oh, Carrie. This is my origin story! Quick, take a picture! 280 00:16:07,099 --> 00:16:09,939 No, no, there's no time. I've got so much mood-boarding to do. 281 00:16:14,656 --> 00:16:16,236 I'll get the Pritt sticks. 282 00:16:28,767 --> 00:16:29,767 ♪ I said, ugh ♪ 283 00:16:30,771 --> 00:16:32,111 ♪ Bonjour, motherfucker ♪ 284 00:16:32,191 --> 00:16:35,031 ♪ I see you staring at me Liking it like a sucker, yeah ♪ 285 00:16:35,113 --> 00:16:36,373 Shoo! 286 00:16:36,449 --> 00:16:37,909 Go away. 287 00:16:39,079 --> 00:16:40,499 Don't you dare touch him. 288 00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:44,670 - ♪ This is my film, you're an extra ♪ - ♪ Motherfucker ♪ 289 00:16:44,758 --> 00:16:47,508 - ♪ This is my film, you're an extra ♪ - ♪ Motherfucker ♪ 290 00:16:47,597 --> 00:16:50,267 - ♪ This is my film, you're an extra ♪ - ♪ Motherfucker ♪ 291 00:16:50,352 --> 00:16:51,272 ♪ This is my... ♪ 292 00:16:51,354 --> 00:16:53,234 Oh, God! 293 00:17:00,288 --> 00:17:01,748 I don't think it's gonna work out. 294 00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:03,553 Fair enough. 295 00:17:04,839 --> 00:17:05,839 Good game. 296 00:17:09,599 --> 00:17:12,479 Oh, please. Come on. Uh, just the one? 297 00:17:19,034 --> 00:17:21,004 - Oy, Jizzlord. - Don't call him that. 298 00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:23,130 He likes it. You got a better one? 299 00:17:23,919 --> 00:17:26,969 I don't know. Like, Cum Bucket? 300 00:17:27,050 --> 00:17:28,760 Jesus Christ. That is so much worse. 301 00:17:28,846 --> 00:17:30,176 I thought it was cute. 302 00:17:30,265 --> 00:17:31,635 It's no Jizzlord. 303 00:17:31,727 --> 00:17:33,857 So, we are keeping him then? 304 00:17:33,939 --> 00:17:36,588 - Have you checked if he's got an owner? - No, he's definitely a stray. 305 00:17:36,612 --> 00:17:40,202 He's got an energy. He's scrappy. He's lived a life. 306 00:17:41,663 --> 00:17:42,725 Haven't you got work today? 307 00:17:42,749 --> 00:17:44,469 Yeah. Don't have to leave till 11.00 though. 308 00:17:45,045 --> 00:17:46,085 It's half past two. 309 00:17:47,466 --> 00:17:48,756 Fuck. 310 00:17:49,303 --> 00:17:51,063 Turn back time and tell me to leave. 311 00:17:51,140 --> 00:17:52,520 You know I can't go back that far. 312 00:17:52,602 --> 00:17:53,802 Yeah, I'm still gonna be late, 313 00:17:53,854 --> 00:17:55,416 but it means I can stop at Pret on the way. 314 00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:57,740 Jen, I am burdened with a noble gift. 315 00:17:57,820 --> 00:18:00,450 I'm not gonna use it for inane reasons. With great power come... 316 00:18:00,534 --> 00:18:02,664 - Just do it, you fucking nerd. - Okay, okay! 317 00:18:23,037 --> 00:18:24,537 Can you do me up with some balloons? 318 00:18:24,624 --> 00:18:27,464 I want them to say, "Happy 18th Birthday, Andy. 319 00:18:27,547 --> 00:18:30,547 Mum is making me do this. We were never close, and I hate you." 320 00:18:31,303 --> 00:18:32,933 I can do "Happy 18th." 321 00:18:33,015 --> 00:18:34,385 Fine. 322 00:18:35,896 --> 00:18:38,276 - Jennifer. - Angela. 323 00:18:38,944 --> 00:18:40,664 Are those for personal use? 324 00:18:41,157 --> 00:18:42,197 Yes. 325 00:18:43,202 --> 00:18:44,202 Jen. 326 00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:46,634 Jen. 327 00:18:47,461 --> 00:18:49,981 Why didn't you tell me you're going to a party, you cheeky bint? 328 00:18:50,049 --> 00:18:51,219 Tell me all about it. 329 00:18:51,302 --> 00:18:53,262 It's my half-sister's 18th. It's a family thing. 330 00:18:53,347 --> 00:18:56,057 Say no more. Family can be a real bash in the fanny. 331 00:18:56,145 --> 00:18:59,645 You love 'em. You hate 'em, but you're stuck with 'em. 332 00:18:59,736 --> 00:19:00,776 What can you do? 333 00:19:03,075 --> 00:19:04,905 I'd hate to be turning 18 now. 334 00:19:04,996 --> 00:19:06,716 Nothing's the same after you get your power. 335 00:19:06,750 --> 00:19:08,800 - I used to play at Wimbledon... - Wimbledon. 336 00:19:08,879 --> 00:19:10,509 We know, love. Jesus. 337 00:19:10,591 --> 00:19:13,811 It's not my fault I didn't get superspeed or racket hands. 338 00:19:13,889 --> 00:19:15,179 Tell me about it, flower. 339 00:19:15,266 --> 00:19:19,356 Gonna be 56 in April. Can't even buy some paracetamol in Asda. 340 00:19:19,441 --> 00:19:21,111 Don't let it get you down, love. 341 00:19:21,696 --> 00:19:24,276 I'm not down. Honestly, I really don't even care. 342 00:19:24,368 --> 00:19:25,658 Back to work. 343 00:19:34,137 --> 00:19:35,517 Do you want to know how you die? 344 00:19:36,768 --> 00:19:37,768 What? 345 00:19:38,312 --> 00:19:39,652 Foresight. 346 00:19:42,697 --> 00:19:43,697 No. 347 00:19:45,619 --> 00:19:46,789 Probably for the best. 348 00:19:48,291 --> 00:19:50,251 What do you mean it's probably for the best? Wha... 349 00:19:50,336 --> 00:19:51,626 Is it bad? 350 00:19:51,715 --> 00:19:52,715 One minute. 351 00:19:54,929 --> 00:19:56,729 Hi. Bang on time. 352 00:19:56,808 --> 00:19:59,348 It's not like I've anything better to do. 353 00:19:59,856 --> 00:20:00,856 True. 354 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:02,570 Got a new one for you. 355 00:20:03,446 --> 00:20:05,526 Fine. Go on. Get it over with. 356 00:20:06,327 --> 00:20:07,657 Knock, knock. 357 00:20:07,747 --> 00:20:08,827 Who's there? 358 00:20:08,916 --> 00:20:10,456 - Boo. - Boo, who? 359 00:20:10,544 --> 00:20:12,344 Cheer up, love. It might never happen. 360 00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:15,220 Jesus Christ. 361 00:20:15,303 --> 00:20:17,393 Well, how are things your end? 362 00:20:17,474 --> 00:20:19,064 It's Andy's 18th tonight. 363 00:20:19,144 --> 00:20:20,484 Oh, good luck with that. 364 00:20:20,564 --> 00:20:21,734 Thought you'd reassure me. 365 00:20:21,816 --> 00:20:23,356 God, no. It's gonna be awful. 366 00:20:23,444 --> 00:20:25,784 Just try not to make everything into a competition. 367 00:20:25,866 --> 00:20:27,946 I don't do that. She does that. 368 00:20:28,037 --> 00:20:30,877 Well, you know where I am. Say hi to your mum for me. 369 00:20:32,379 --> 00:20:33,379 Yeah. 370 00:20:39,811 --> 00:20:40,851 Hey. 371 00:20:41,982 --> 00:20:42,982 Bears. 372 00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:44,610 Huh? 373 00:20:44,696 --> 00:20:47,236 How you die. Bears. 374 00:20:49,413 --> 00:20:50,423 Oh, but… 375 00:21:14,839 --> 00:21:17,469 Wow. 376 00:21:17,553 --> 00:21:18,563 Bravo. 377 00:21:20,893 --> 00:21:23,023 Oh, my baby! 378 00:21:25,151 --> 00:21:26,296 Why are there already balloons? 379 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:29,200 Oh, those? They're nothing. I just nipped out this morning and got a few. 380 00:21:29,284 --> 00:21:30,604 But you asked me to get balloons. 381 00:21:30,662 --> 00:21:33,002 - I know. - What, you don't trust me to get balloons? 382 00:21:33,084 --> 00:21:37,014 Oh, I don't want it to play HDMI. Just play Andy's party playlist. 383 00:21:37,092 --> 00:21:38,905 I got an audition for the Greenwich Conservatoire. 384 00:21:38,929 --> 00:21:41,769 Normal human thing to do is to say hello before you start bragging. 385 00:21:41,851 --> 00:21:44,040 I'm just sharing good news about my life with my sister. 386 00:21:44,064 --> 00:21:46,614 I'm sure if you achieve something, you'd do the same. No? 387 00:21:46,694 --> 00:21:48,534 Andy, stop haranguing your sister. 388 00:21:48,615 --> 00:21:50,405 - Have you got a job yet? - I have a job. 389 00:21:50,493 --> 00:21:54,753 A real job. I didn't leave my home and family 390 00:21:54,836 --> 00:21:58,296 and brave the boat to England for you to squander all my sacrifices. 391 00:21:58,384 --> 00:21:59,894 We definitely flew here. 392 00:21:59,971 --> 00:22:03,651 You were young. You don't understand the immigrant struggle. 393 00:22:03,728 --> 00:22:06,188 Oh, I don't know what I'm doing here. Where's the antenna? 394 00:22:06,275 --> 00:22:07,587 What do you think my power's gonna be? 395 00:22:07,611 --> 00:22:09,925 You do know you're not gonna get your power the second you turn 18? 396 00:22:09,949 --> 00:22:12,681 What do you know about powers? You're like a virgin talking about sex. 397 00:22:12,705 --> 00:22:15,375 - You're like the pope. - I-I am not the pope. I fuck. 398 00:22:15,459 --> 00:22:16,879 No, Mum. Tell her I fuck. 399 00:22:16,963 --> 00:22:19,723 Would you whist? I'm trying to get this thing to play music. 400 00:22:19,802 --> 00:22:22,617 - Why is it still just showing me pictures? - Just wait for Ian to do it. 401 00:22:22,641 --> 00:22:24,851 What's the point of having a power if you don't use it? 402 00:22:24,937 --> 00:22:26,777 Being able to control technology is only useful 403 00:22:26,858 --> 00:22:28,178 if you know how technology works. 404 00:22:28,235 --> 00:22:29,755 I think you're doing a great job, Mum. 405 00:22:29,822 --> 00:22:32,242 - Just Bing it, will you? - Bing! 406 00:22:32,327 --> 00:22:36,537 Ladies, ladies, please. I know we're feeling a little… stressed? 407 00:22:37,713 --> 00:22:38,803 Excited. 408 00:22:39,884 --> 00:22:42,184 Oh, Lord. Now, what have we got going on in there? 409 00:22:42,263 --> 00:22:44,853 Angry, sad, jealous. 410 00:22:44,936 --> 00:22:45,936 Horny? 411 00:22:46,021 --> 00:22:47,361 Uh… 412 00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:50,110 Three, two, one… 413 00:22:51,114 --> 00:22:52,704 Yes! 414 00:22:54,037 --> 00:22:55,787 Happy birthday! 415 00:23:01,093 --> 00:23:02,303 Try turning on the TV. 416 00:23:09,777 --> 00:23:12,617 Can you sense any emotion? Deep breath. 417 00:23:17,083 --> 00:23:18,343 No. I've got nothing. 418 00:23:19,797 --> 00:23:23,097 Don't worry. It doesn't always happen on the day. 419 00:23:23,178 --> 00:23:26,018 It can take a few days or weeks. Or… 420 00:23:27,478 --> 00:23:28,818 I wanted it today. 421 00:23:28,898 --> 00:23:31,358 Aw, no. Oh, I'm playing the world's smallest violin. 422 00:23:32,363 --> 00:23:36,003 I've actually played the world's smallest violin, and it's much bigger than that. 423 00:23:45,599 --> 00:23:47,319 You're a little bit happy she didn't get it. 424 00:23:47,393 --> 00:23:48,403 Uh, duh, Ian. 425 00:23:48,479 --> 00:23:50,019 My cousin was like you. 426 00:23:50,107 --> 00:23:52,797 Then he went to one of those clinics that help you bring out your power. 427 00:23:52,821 --> 00:23:54,621 No, I am not doing that. It's pathetic. 428 00:23:54,700 --> 00:23:57,870 Really helped him. Now he can freeze anything. Like that. 429 00:24:00,545 --> 00:24:04,045 Of course, he's got a freezer that he mainly uses, but it's the knowledge. 430 00:24:04,135 --> 00:24:05,715 Like, knowing you don't need... 431 00:24:06,599 --> 00:24:07,599 Okay! 432 00:24:10,439 --> 00:24:12,279 I'm super strong! 433 00:24:13,530 --> 00:24:14,780 Oh, my God. 434 00:24:14,865 --> 00:24:19,115 - That's amazing! Do the sofa. - Sofa! 435 00:24:33,318 --> 00:24:36,158 Oh, my... Oh, my God, I'm on the ceiling! 436 00:24:37,953 --> 00:24:40,503 We just going to ignore the fact she broke the fridge or... 437 00:24:41,711 --> 00:24:43,381 One hand! 438 00:24:46,804 --> 00:24:47,814 I killed a man! 439 00:24:51,564 --> 00:24:55,074 Hi, hello. Up here. I'm up here. 440 00:24:55,154 --> 00:24:58,664 Can your daughter do this? No, only my daughter! 441 00:24:58,745 --> 00:25:02,125 Andy! Andy, I'm so high! 442 00:25:03,295 --> 00:25:04,965 Andy! Andy! 443 00:25:07,136 --> 00:25:09,426 ♪ Have a heart Have a heart, have a heart ♪ 444 00:25:09,517 --> 00:25:12,937 ♪ Sixteen six six six And I know the part ♪ 445 00:25:13,023 --> 00:25:16,153 ♪ You are the river flow And we can never know ♪ 446 00:25:16,238 --> 00:25:19,488 ♪ We're just the weatherman You make the wind blow ♪ 447 00:25:19,578 --> 00:25:21,338 ♪ Keep thinking about Every straight face... ♪ 448 00:25:23,001 --> 00:25:25,511 Surprise. I wasn't sure what the deal was with the party, 449 00:25:25,590 --> 00:25:27,550 so I thought I'd bring the party to you. 450 00:25:27,636 --> 00:25:28,756 Oh. 451 00:25:28,846 --> 00:25:30,426 Uh, it's not really a great… 452 00:25:31,226 --> 00:25:32,516 time. 453 00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:40,200 Oh, hi. 454 00:25:40,286 --> 00:25:43,836 Who are you? That sounds rude, but who are you? 455 00:25:43,918 --> 00:25:45,208 Um, my name's Olivia. 456 00:25:45,296 --> 00:25:47,716 Of course it is. So is, um... Is this a date? 457 00:25:47,801 --> 00:25:49,931 - Yeah. - Wouldn't really call it a date. 458 00:25:50,014 --> 00:25:53,024 Oh. Well, if it's not a date, there's no harm in joining. Right? 459 00:25:59,073 --> 00:26:00,623 Olivia can shape-shift. 460 00:26:00,702 --> 00:26:04,252 Oh. Uh, so this is what you've chosen to look like. Oh, that makes sense. 461 00:26:04,334 --> 00:26:06,594 No. Honestly, I never really use it. 462 00:26:06,672 --> 00:26:08,892 I think it's important to love yourself the way you are. 463 00:26:08,968 --> 00:26:11,928 You know, flaws and imperfections and everything. 464 00:26:12,643 --> 00:26:14,283 So, you just look like this all the time? 465 00:26:15,064 --> 00:26:16,534 Wow. Fantastic. 466 00:26:16,609 --> 00:26:17,859 I don't even wear make-up. 467 00:26:17,944 --> 00:26:19,074 Oh, my God. 468 00:26:19,155 --> 00:26:20,275 Yeah. 469 00:26:20,366 --> 00:26:21,366 Yeah. 470 00:26:24,499 --> 00:26:25,879 I like your hair like that. 471 00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:27,250 Thanks! 472 00:26:27,338 --> 00:26:29,758 - What do you call that style? - Down? 473 00:26:29,843 --> 00:26:30,853 It suits you. 474 00:26:32,891 --> 00:26:34,731 - Have you been to the pier? - No! 475 00:26:35,229 --> 00:26:36,569 My turn! 476 00:26:47,294 --> 00:26:48,724 Great. Let's go. 477 00:26:49,508 --> 00:26:52,098 Oh, um, maybe next time? 478 00:26:52,179 --> 00:26:54,809 - Oh, come on. - Well, it's kinda hard work. 479 00:26:54,893 --> 00:26:56,903 And you need to think about load bearing. 480 00:26:56,981 --> 00:26:58,021 Load bearing? 481 00:26:59,444 --> 00:27:00,824 Okay. Come on, then. 482 00:27:03,870 --> 00:27:05,210 'Kay. 483 00:27:09,464 --> 00:27:10,804 Hmm. 484 00:27:10,884 --> 00:27:11,894 Yeah. 485 00:27:11,969 --> 00:27:16,099 - Oh, Christ. Oh, fuck. Okay. - Yeah, okay. Yeah. 486 00:27:16,186 --> 00:27:17,646 Sorry. Sorry. My feet smell. 487 00:27:22,031 --> 00:27:23,241 Fuck me, that's very high! 488 00:27:23,325 --> 00:27:24,785 - Don't look down. - Don't look down. 489 00:27:24,870 --> 00:27:26,330 Not so tight. 490 00:27:31,592 --> 00:27:33,352 So, uh, is she your girlfriend? 491 00:27:33,428 --> 00:27:35,638 Look, why do we have to put labels on things? 492 00:27:35,725 --> 00:27:36,935 Because labels are great. 493 00:27:37,019 --> 00:27:40,029 You know, I label my yogurt at work because people kept eating my yogurt. 494 00:27:40,108 --> 00:27:43,188 And it's my yogurt, you know. I bought it, and I want it. It's a great yogurt. 495 00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:46,250 I mean, it's creamy and low-fat and has beautiful eyes. 496 00:27:47,248 --> 00:27:48,248 You need to let go. 497 00:27:48,333 --> 00:27:49,923 I don't want to let you go. 498 00:27:50,003 --> 00:27:51,566 No, as in let go of me. We're on the ground. 499 00:27:51,590 --> 00:27:52,590 Oh. 500 00:27:56,349 --> 00:27:57,519 Jen, look at me. 501 00:27:57,602 --> 00:28:01,532 If you don't love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else? 502 00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:12,880 ♪ Oh, to be happy ♪ 503 00:28:12,966 --> 00:28:13,966 That's RuPaul. 504 00:28:15,387 --> 00:28:16,767 That's RuPaul! 505 00:28:16,849 --> 00:28:18,099 ♪ Oh, to be right ♪ 506 00:28:21,942 --> 00:28:25,122 ♪ When everything's easy ♪ 507 00:28:25,198 --> 00:28:28,578 Wasn't expecting you to call at this hour. Everything okay? 508 00:28:28,664 --> 00:28:31,094 You haven't been murdered or something, have you? 509 00:28:31,754 --> 00:28:33,554 I want a power. 510 00:28:33,633 --> 00:28:36,933 I want one so badly. It's never gonna happen. 511 00:28:37,014 --> 00:28:40,484 Yeah, you're right. You should probably just give up. 512 00:28:40,563 --> 00:28:42,153 You're not supposed to say that. 513 00:28:42,232 --> 00:28:44,782 Well, what do you want me to say? Accept it. 514 00:28:44,863 --> 00:28:47,163 It's just not something you're ever going to have. 515 00:28:48,161 --> 00:28:50,541 - You don't know that. - But you do somehow? 516 00:28:51,250 --> 00:28:52,670 You really want this power thing? 517 00:28:55,425 --> 00:28:57,095 Yes, I do. 518 00:28:58,974 --> 00:29:00,854 Well, if you think it will make you happy… 519 00:29:03,024 --> 00:29:04,614 …then go get it. 520 00:29:05,655 --> 00:29:07,235 I'm sure you'll figure it out. 521 00:29:09,453 --> 00:29:10,583 What if I don't? 522 00:29:10,665 --> 00:29:12,745 Then we'll figure something out together. 523 00:29:20,225 --> 00:29:21,225 Dad? 524 00:29:21,770 --> 00:29:22,770 Yeah? 525 00:29:23,774 --> 00:29:24,784 Can I do the thing? 526 00:29:26,362 --> 00:29:27,622 You don't have to ask. 527 00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:43,520 Hi, pet. 528 00:30:20,220 --> 00:30:23,390 ♪ Go without ♪ 529 00:30:25,606 --> 00:30:28,606 ♪ Till the need seeps in ♪ 530 00:30:30,533 --> 00:30:32,833 ♪ Your love anymore ♪ 531 00:30:32,912 --> 00:30:37,252 Welcome to Discovery Clinic, where your powers journey begins. 532 00:30:37,337 --> 00:30:42,887 ♪ Collect your novel petals for the stem ♪ 533 00:30:44,978 --> 00:30:48,648 ♪ And glow, glow ♪ 534 00:30:49,486 --> 00:30:52,946 ♪ Melt and flow… ♪ 535 00:30:53,036 --> 00:30:57,286 Hi. Welcome. Are you looking to start your power journey today? 536 00:30:57,377 --> 00:31:01,217 Yes. I am, Denise. I'd like to book myself in for a discovery package. 537 00:31:01,302 --> 00:31:03,772 - And how long have you been trying? - Six years. 538 00:31:03,849 --> 00:31:08,569 Ooh. That is a long time. But don't worry. You're in the right place. 539 00:31:08,651 --> 00:31:12,031 We have an excellent track record in helping people to discover their power. 540 00:31:12,115 --> 00:31:13,615 That's exactly what I wanted to hear. 541 00:31:13,702 --> 00:31:14,702 So exciting. 542 00:31:16,833 --> 00:31:20,473 So our packages start at 9,500. 543 00:31:22,553 --> 00:31:24,223 Yeah. We're gonna have to DIY it. 544 00:31:43,762 --> 00:31:46,272 No, no, no. 545 00:31:57,999 --> 00:32:01,879 ♪ Just put yourself in my new shoes ♪ 546 00:32:01,965 --> 00:32:05,385 ♪ And see that I do what I do ♪ 547 00:32:05,472 --> 00:32:10,862 ♪ Because the old guard still offend ♪ 548 00:32:10,941 --> 00:32:13,911 ♪ ♪ 549 00:32:13,989 --> 00:32:17,329 ♪ They got nothing left On which we depend ♪ 550 00:32:17,412 --> 00:32:21,342 ♪ So enlist every ounce Of your bright blood ♪ 551 00:32:21,420 --> 00:32:23,760 ♪ And off with their heads ♪ 552 00:32:23,842 --> 00:32:25,972 ♪ Jump from the hook ♪ 553 00:32:26,055 --> 00:32:33,105 ♪ You're not obliged to swallow Anything you despise ♪ 554 00:32:34,071 --> 00:32:37,491 ♪ That you despise ♪ 555 00:32:38,454 --> 00:32:39,874 ♪ That you despise ♪ 42354

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