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{\an8}IM
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{\an8}IME
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{\an8}IME I
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{\an8}IME I ZI
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{\an8}IME I ZIG,
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{\an8}IME I ZIG,
YO
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{\an8}IME I ZIG,
YOU
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{\an8}IME I ZIG,
YOU ZA
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{\an8}IME I ZIG,
YOU ZAG
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{\an8}IME I ZIG,
YOU ZAG ♪
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♪ I LIKE COFFEE,
TEA'S YOUR BAG ♪
12
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♪ THOUGH IT MAKES
NO SENSE, IT'S TRUE ♪
13
00:00:08,942 --> 00:00:12,278
♪ THERE'S NO ME
WITHOUT YOU ♪
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{\an8}Joely Fisher:
'TIL DEATH IS FILMED IN FRONT
OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.
15
00:00:17,550 --> 00:00:18,785
{\an8}OK, HERE COMES
OUR WAITRESS.
16
00:00:18,885 --> 00:00:20,253
{\an8}EVERYBODY CLOSE
YOUR MENUS,
17
00:00:20,353 --> 00:00:21,855
{\an8}GET YOUR FORK AND KNIFE
IN THE GO POSITIONS
18
00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:24,224
{\an8}SO SHE KNOWS
WE'RE READY TO ORDER.
COME ON.
19
00:00:24,324 --> 00:00:26,226
{\an8}LOOKS LIKE YOU GUYS
NEED SOME MORE TIME.
20
00:00:26,326 --> 00:00:27,927
{\an8}I'LL BE BACK
IN A MINUTE.
21
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,764
{\an8}NO, NO--SEE,
SHE'S NOT GOING
TO BE BACK IN A MINUTE.
22
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,065
{\an8}THAT'S A DIRTY LIE.
23
00:00:32,165 --> 00:00:34,000
{\an8}COME ON, LET'S GET IT
TOGETHER, PEOPLE!
24
00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:36,302
{\an8}OK, I THINK
I'M GOING TO GET
THE VEGGIE BURGER.
25
00:00:36,403 --> 00:00:37,604
{\an8}NO, I DON'T WANT
THE VEGGIE BURGER.
26
00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:39,372
{\an8}WHAT DOES IT HAVE
TO DO WITH YOU?
27
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{\an8}BECAUSE I'M GOING
TO SPEND 10 BUCKS
FOR A BURGER,
28
00:00:41,274 --> 00:00:43,576
{\an8}SHE'S GONNA TAKE
2 BITES OF IT
AND SAY SHE'S FULL.
29
00:00:43,676 --> 00:00:47,614
{\an8}WHO DO YOU THINK'S GOING
TO EAT THE LEFTOVERS,
BOXCAR WILLY?
30
00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:50,483
{\an8}COME ON, JUST GO
WITH THE EGGPLANT.
31
00:00:50,583 --> 00:00:52,218
{\an8}DADDY, HOW MANY
TIMES DO I HAVE
TO TELL YOU,
32
00:00:52,318 --> 00:00:53,920
{\an8}I DON'T LIKE
EGGPLANT.
33
00:00:54,020 --> 00:00:55,088
{\an8}OH, OH, OH, OK.
34
00:00:55,188 --> 00:00:58,858
{\an8}I CAN GET THE EGGPLANT
IF YOU'D LIKE, SIR.
35
00:00:58,958 --> 00:01:01,194
{\an8}I'M NOT READY
TO SHARE FOOD WITH YOU.
36
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{\an8}UM, WELL, I SHOULD
PROBABLY TELL YOU
37
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{\an8}THAT I'VE USED YOUR SOAP.
38
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{\an8}OH.
39
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{\an8}OK, HERE SHE COMES.
40
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{\an8}EVERYBODY, CLOSE YOUR MENUS.
CLOSE YOUR MENUS.
41
00:01:20,246 --> 00:01:21,414
{\an8}BUT I HAVEN'T PICKED YET.
42
00:01:21,514 --> 00:01:24,651
{\an8}NO, YOU'RE DONE,
GRAPE NUT.
43
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:26,753
{\an8}HEY. ARE YOU GUYS
READY TO ORDER?
44
00:01:26,853 --> 00:01:28,121
{\an8}YES, WE ARE, DINA.
45
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{\an8}OK. WHY DON'T YOU
START US OFF, ALLIE?
46
00:01:31,391 --> 00:01:34,027
{\an8}I'M GOING TO HAVE
THE RAVIOLI.
OK.
47
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{\an8}I'LL HAVE THE SALMON.
48
00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:36,596
{\an8}AND DO--
49
00:01:36,696 --> 00:01:39,933
{\an8}DO YOU HAVE SOME
SORT OF VEGETABLE PIE
OR SOMETHING?
50
00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:42,836
{\an8}UH, WE HAVE A PLATE
OF GRILLED VEGETABLES.
51
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{\an8}AS I'M NOT ALLOWED
TO LOOK AT THE MENU
FOR OTHER OPTIONS,
52
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{\an8}I'LL HAVE THAT.
53
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{\an8}DINA, I'M GONNA GO
WITH THE TUSCAN STEAK.
54
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{\an8}NOW, YOU KNOW HOW
ON THE PLATE THEY HAVE
THE FRIES AND THE SALAD?
55
00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:57,784
{\an8}WELL, WHERE THE SALAD
WOULD BE,
56
00:01:57,884 --> 00:01:59,385
{\an8}JUST GIVE ME MORE FRIES.
57
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{\an8}AND IF YOU COULD HOLLOW OUT
A LITTLE NEST IN THE MIDDLE
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{\an8}FOR THE KETCHUP,
THAT'D BE MARVELOUS.
59
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KETCHUP NEST.
GOT IT.
60
00:02:06,826 --> 00:02:07,961
OK. NOW,
61
00:02:08,061 --> 00:02:09,929
PLEASE REMEMBER,
WHEN I SAY MORE FRIES,
62
00:02:10,029 --> 00:02:13,366
TAKE INTO ACCOUNT
THAT I'M THE SIZE OF
ONE AND A HALF PEOPLE.
63
00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:15,068
SO...
64
00:02:15,168 --> 00:02:17,570
YOU KNOW WHAT,
I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO
PUT THEM ON THE PLATE.
65
00:02:17,670 --> 00:02:19,973
I'M GONNA BRING THEM
OVER IN A WHEELBARROW.
66
00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:23,576
OH, I LIKE THE CUT
OF YOUR JIB.
67
00:02:23,676 --> 00:02:24,777
THANK YOU.
YEP.
68
00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:26,279
THANK YOU, DARLING.
THANK YOU.
69
00:02:26,379 --> 00:02:28,248
THANK YOU.
THANKS.
70
00:02:28,348 --> 00:02:31,317
OH, AND, UM,
IT'S WHEELBARREL.
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00:02:31,417 --> 00:02:32,619
HUH?
72
00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:34,154
WHEELBARREL.
73
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BARREL.
YOU SAID WHEELBARROW.
74
00:02:36,389 --> 00:02:41,461
IT'S JUST...GIVING YOU
A LITTLE HEAD'S UP.
75
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,164
UM...
76
00:02:44,264 --> 00:02:46,366
THANK YOU?
77
00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:48,468
AHEM.
78
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:54,941
WHAT? I WAS JUST
TRYING TO BE HELPFUL.
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00:02:55,041 --> 00:02:56,676
I MEAN, IF I WERE
MISPRONOUNCING A WORD,
80
00:02:56,776 --> 00:02:59,979
I WOULD WANT SOMEONE
TO TELL ME.
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00:03:00,079 --> 00:03:02,215
WOULD YOU NOW?
82
00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:05,018
YES.
83
00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:06,986
WHAT? WHAT IS GOING ON?
84
00:03:07,086 --> 00:03:07,987
OH, WHAT IS GOING ON IS,
85
00:03:08,087 --> 00:03:10,690
IT IS ACTUALLY
WHEELBARROW.
86
00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:13,726
NO, IT'S NOT.
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
87
00:03:13,826 --> 00:03:15,995
IT'S WHEELBARREL,
BARREL.
88
00:03:16,095 --> 00:03:19,032
IT'S A BARREL
WITH A WHEEL ON IT.
89
00:03:19,132 --> 00:03:24,404
EXCEPT...THAT IT ISN'T.
90
00:03:27,407 --> 00:03:28,808
YEAH--IT IS.
91
00:03:28,908 --> 00:03:30,276
BARREL IS A WORD.
92
00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:31,844
WHAT THE HELL IS BARROW?
93
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:35,615
THE RIGHT WAY TO SAY IT.
94
00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:38,384
NO, IT'S WHEELBARREL.
95
00:03:38,484 --> 00:03:40,253
WHEEL BARREL.
96
00:03:40,353 --> 00:03:41,921
OKAY, LOOK, STOP
SAYING WHEELBARREL.
97
00:03:42,021 --> 00:03:44,657
YOU SOUND LIKE
A HILLBILLY.
98
00:03:44,757 --> 00:03:46,526
IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL.
99
00:03:46,626 --> 00:03:50,230
YOU REMEMBER, I USED
TO THINK THAT THESE
WERE CALLED EYEBROWNS.
100
00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:51,497
[LAUGHTER]
101
00:03:51,598 --> 00:03:54,934
YOU THOUGHT THAT
WHEN YOU WERE 3.
102
00:03:55,835 --> 00:03:57,770
HERE'S SOME BREAD.
103
00:03:57,870 --> 00:04:02,609
AND YOUR WHEELBARREL
OF FRIES.
104
00:04:17,857 --> 00:04:20,526
AHH.
105
00:04:23,329 --> 00:04:24,831
[POP]
106
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:26,866
[CHUCKLES]
107
00:04:26,966 --> 00:04:30,870
SO...
108
00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:35,541
YOU REALLY DIDN'T
THINK IT WAS PRONOUNCED
WHEELBARREL--
109
00:04:35,642 --> 00:04:38,111
OH, MY GOD! DO I NOT
FEEL BAD ENOUGH ALREADY?!
110
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:41,414
SORRY, SORRY.
111
00:04:41,514 --> 00:04:43,249
EDDIE?
YEAH?
112
00:04:43,349 --> 00:04:44,951
CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?
113
00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:47,754
DO YOU THINK THAT I'M DUMB?
114
00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:49,789
NO!
GOOD.
115
00:04:49,889 --> 00:04:52,358
'CAUSE SOMETIMES
I THINK THAT I AM.
116
00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:55,128
HONEY, ONE LITTLE
SILLY WORD. COME ON.
117
00:04:55,228 --> 00:04:58,531
IT'S NOT ABOUT THE STUPID
WHEELBARREL THING, OK?
118
00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:01,134
IT'S BECAUSE--
BARROW.
119
00:05:03,002 --> 00:05:04,037
WHAT?
120
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,571
WHEELBARROW.
121
00:05:05,672 --> 00:05:06,739
OW.
122
00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:09,909
IT'S--OK, BECAUSE
EVERY TIME I GO SOMEWHERE,
123
00:05:10,009 --> 00:05:11,577
I FEEL LIKE THERE IS
A SIGN OVER MY HEAD
124
00:05:11,678 --> 00:05:13,413
SAYING THAT I DIDN'T
FINISH COLLEGE.
125
00:05:13,513 --> 00:05:17,650
LIKE, AT WORK AND PARTIES
AND AT RESTAURANTS.
126
00:05:17,750 --> 00:05:19,686
I MEAN, ALLIE IS ALMOST
THROUGH HER JUNIOR YEAR,
127
00:05:19,786 --> 00:05:23,489
AND I'M JUST HER DOOFUS MOM
THAT READS CELEBRITY MAGAZINES.
128
00:05:23,589 --> 00:05:26,793
DO YOU REALIZE THAT
I CAN NAME EVERY COUNTRY
129
00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:28,661
WHERE ANGELINA'S CHILDREN
ARE FROM?
130
00:05:28,761 --> 00:05:33,032
BUT I CAN'T POINT
TO ANY ONE OF THEM
ON A MAP!
131
00:05:33,132 --> 00:05:35,968
HONEY, COME--ALL RIGHT,
DON'T, PLEASE.
132
00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:39,038
SO GEOGRAPHY'S
NOT YOUR SUBJECT.
133
00:05:39,138 --> 00:05:42,475
I'M A TRAVEL AGENT!
134
00:05:42,575 --> 00:05:45,812
I MEAN, EVEN YOU
MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A DOPE.
135
00:05:45,912 --> 00:05:48,281
YOU TEACH, YOU READ BOOKS,
136
00:05:48,381 --> 00:05:51,517
YOU WRITE IN CURSIVE.
137
00:05:51,617 --> 00:05:53,486
LOOK, HONEY,
JUST BECAUSE I HAVE
138
00:05:53,586 --> 00:05:55,188
A LITTLE MORE THIRST
FOR KNOWLEDGE,
139
00:05:55,288 --> 00:05:56,656
IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
140
00:05:56,756 --> 00:05:59,258
YOU HAVE
YOUR STRENGTHS.
141
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,361
I DO?
YES.
142
00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:02,628
YOU KNOW,
I'M GONNA LET YOU IN
ON A LITTLE SECRET.
143
00:06:02,729 --> 00:06:04,964
SOMETIMES I ACTUALLY
THINK OF US
144
00:06:05,064 --> 00:06:08,968
AS ARTHUR MILLER
AND MARILYN MONROE.
145
00:06:09,068 --> 00:06:10,236
WHAT?
146
00:06:10,336 --> 00:06:13,406
WELL, I'M TALL,
JEWISH AND INTELLECTUAL,
147
00:06:13,506 --> 00:06:16,542
AND YOU'RE FAMOUS
FOR YOUR BOOBIES.
148
00:06:16,642 --> 00:06:17,977
I MEAN,
NOT WORLDWIDE,
149
00:06:18,077 --> 00:06:21,581
BUT, I MEAN,
LIKE AT THE MARKET
AND SUCH.
150
00:06:21,681 --> 00:06:25,418
I DON'T WANT TO BE KNOWN
FOR MY BOOBIES.
151
00:06:25,518 --> 00:06:26,986
ALL RIGHT.
JOY-JOY,
152
00:06:27,086 --> 00:06:28,988
LET ME TELL YOU
SOMETHING.
WHAT?
153
00:06:29,088 --> 00:06:30,623
YOU CAN BE A PhD,
PHYSICIST,
154
00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:36,028
ASTRONAUT,
AND I'M STILL GONNA BE
LOOKIN' RIGHT THERE.
155
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:42,535
I WANT TO GO BACK
TO SCHOOL.
156
00:06:42,635 --> 00:06:43,936
WHAT?
157
00:06:44,036 --> 00:06:46,839
YEAH, I THINK THAT
GETTING BACK INTO
THE ACADEMIC WORLD
158
00:06:46,939 --> 00:06:48,007
WOULD BE GOOD FOR ME.
159
00:06:48,107 --> 00:06:50,877
IT WOULD FORCE ME
TO USE MY BRAIN AGAIN.
160
00:06:50,977 --> 00:06:53,846
ALL OF THIS BECAUSE
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO
PRONOUNCE WHEELBARROW?
161
00:06:53,946 --> 00:06:56,149
YOU DON'T HAVE TO
GO BACK TO SCHOOL,
162
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:59,252
YOU GOTTA GO
TO A FARM.
163
00:07:03,122 --> 00:07:05,024
I--I'M SERIOUS.
164
00:07:05,124 --> 00:07:07,360
THEY HAVE CLASSES
AT THE COMMUNITY COLLEGE.
165
00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:08,594
I COULD GO AT NIGHT.
166
00:07:08,694 --> 00:07:11,063
NIGHT? NO, NOT NIGHT.
THAT'S OUR TIME.
167
00:07:11,164 --> 00:07:13,099
THAT'S WHEN
I WATCH TV DOWNSTAIRS
168
00:07:13,199 --> 00:07:15,067
AND YOU WATCH TV
UPSTAIRS.
169
00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:18,337
YOU ARE NOT BEING
SUPPORTIVE AT ALL!
170
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,072
HONEY, I JUST
DON'T THINK YOU HAVE
THE PATIENCE
171
00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:22,375
AT THIS POINT
IN YOUR LIFE TO GO
BACK TO SCHOOL.
172
00:07:22,475 --> 00:07:24,343
I MEAN, YOU DIDN'T
HAVE IT BACK THEN.
173
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:29,449
YOU COULDN'T EVEN
FINISH BECAUSE YOU WERE
DRINKING AND PARTYING.
174
00:07:29,549 --> 00:07:31,350
THAT'S NOT TRUE!
I DIDN'T FINISH
175
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,919
BECAUSE YOU GOT ME PREGNANT!
176
00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:37,890
TO STOP YOU FROM
DRINKING AND PARTYING.
177
00:07:37,990 --> 00:07:42,695
LISTEN, I--I DON'T WANT
TO GO BACK TO COLLEGE TO PARTY.
178
00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:43,930
I'M AN ADULT.
179
00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:45,598
I WANT TO GO BACK
BECAUSE...
180
00:07:45,698 --> 00:07:49,936
[SIGHS] I DON'T KNOW,
THE CLOSER ALLIE GETS
TO GETTING HER DEGREE,
181
00:07:50,036 --> 00:07:56,042
THE WORSE I FEEL
ABOUT NOT HAVING MINE.
182
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:57,643
ALL RIGHT.
183
00:07:57,743 --> 00:07:58,778
LOOK.
184
00:07:58,878 --> 00:08:00,713
IF THAT'S
WHAT YOU WANT,
185
00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:02,715
YOU GO FOR IT.
186
00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:03,683
OK?
187
00:08:03,783 --> 00:08:04,917
REALLY?
188
00:08:05,017 --> 00:08:06,152
OH, THANK YOU.
189
00:08:06,252 --> 00:08:09,155
AND I'M TELLING YOU,
BY THIS TIME NEXT YEAR,
190
00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:13,326
I WILL TOTALLY KNOW
HOW TO SAY WHEELBARREL.
191
00:08:14,126 --> 00:08:15,194
BARROW.
192
00:08:15,294 --> 00:08:19,465
GOD, IT JUST DOES NOT
SOUND RIGHT AT ALL.
193
00:08:19,565 --> 00:08:21,601
IT IS, THOUGH.
194
00:08:25,605 --> 00:08:29,308
AH, THERE SHE IS.
LOOK AT MY SCHOOL GIRL, HUH?
195
00:08:29,408 --> 00:08:30,443
HA HA!
SHH.
196
00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:31,611
WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF THOSE GLASSES, HUH?
197
00:08:31,711 --> 00:08:33,212
MAN, I LOVE
THOSE GLASSES.
198
00:08:33,312 --> 00:08:34,981
YEAH? WHAT ABOUT
THE PENCIL IN THE HAIR?
199
00:08:35,081 --> 00:08:37,717
WHOO, I'D LIKE HER
TO TAKE IT OUT
AND SHAKE IT OUT!
200
00:08:37,817 --> 00:08:39,252
YOU KNOW WHAT
I'M GONNA DO?
201
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:40,386
I AM GOING TO TAKE A PICTURE
202
00:08:40,486 --> 00:08:42,321
AND SEND IT
TO THE LOCAL NEWSPAPER,
203
00:08:42,421 --> 00:08:45,358
"HARD LIVIN' HOUSEWIFE
HITS THE BOOKS."
204
00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:47,059
HA HA! NOW
TAKE ONE OF ME
205
00:08:47,159 --> 00:08:51,063
BEING A PROFESSOR
WHO'S VERY IMPRESSED
WITH HER WORK.
206
00:08:51,163 --> 00:08:52,064
GOT IT.
207
00:08:52,164 --> 00:08:53,766
OK, NOW TAKE
ONE OF ME
208
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:55,067
BEING A PROFESSOR
WHO JUST GAVE HER
AN "A"
209
00:08:55,167 --> 00:08:56,536
FOR INAPPROPRIATE
REASONS.
210
00:08:56,636 --> 00:08:58,471
YOU GOTTA
SIT IN MY LAP
FOR THIS ONE.
211
00:08:58,571 --> 00:09:00,239
[SLAPS LEG]
212
00:09:00,339 --> 00:09:02,375
OK, YOU KNOW WHAT,
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE
A PICTURE OF ME FAILING,
213
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:04,010
BECAUSE THAT IS EXACTLY
WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN
214
00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:05,344
IF I DON'T
FINISH THIS PAPER.
215
00:09:05,444 --> 00:09:06,546
IT'S DUE TOMORROW!
216
00:09:06,646 --> 00:09:07,647
ALL RIGHT, HONEY.
217
00:09:07,747 --> 00:09:08,915
IT'S JUST,
WE'RE SO PROUD OF YOU.
218
00:09:09,015 --> 00:09:10,049
WE ARE. YOU KNOW WHAT
WE'RE GOING TO DO,
219
00:09:10,149 --> 00:09:11,317
WE'RE GONNA GO
IN THE LIVING ROOM,
220
00:09:11,417 --> 00:09:12,852
WATCH A LITTLE TV, OK?
NO, NO, NO!
221
00:09:12,952 --> 00:09:14,554
I NEED THE LIVING ROOM.
MY STUDY GROUP
IS COMING OVER.
222
00:09:14,654 --> 00:09:16,389
I NEED YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE.
223
00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:20,993
MM-HMM. WILL ANYBODY
IN YOUR STUDY GROUP
BE BRINGING CRUDITES?
224
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:24,397
DO YOU NOT KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS?
225
00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:26,666
GET OUT.
226
00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:31,304
OH, MY GOD,
WE ARE ONLY HALFWAY
THROUGH THE NOTES.
227
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:32,905
WE GOTTA MOVE,
PEOPLE. COME ON.
228
00:09:33,005 --> 00:09:35,908
HOW ABOUT
WE GO OVER MARBURY
VS. MADISON AGAIN,
229
00:09:36,008 --> 00:09:38,010
'CAUSE I AM NOT
ENTIRELY CLEAR ON THAT.
230
00:09:38,110 --> 00:09:40,313
NO, I--YOU KNOW WHAT
I'M NOT ENTIRELY CLEAR ON?
231
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:43,549
IS WHY IT'S
THURSDAY NIGHT, 9:30,
232
00:09:43,649 --> 00:09:47,486
AND WE'RE NOT AT A BAR.
233
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:50,022
WHAT--NO, WE HAVE
A LOT TO DO.
234
00:09:50,122 --> 00:09:51,490
WE CANNOT GO OUT
DRINKING.
235
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,092
YOU KNOW WHAT,
YOU'RE RIGHT.
236
00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:55,328
WE'LL DRINK HERE.
237
00:09:56,295 --> 00:09:57,663
HELLO, LIQUOR CABINET!
238
00:09:57,763 --> 00:09:58,998
HEY, NO. NO LIQUOR, NO.
239
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:00,700
I HAVE TO DO THIS.
YOU GUYS ARE YOUNG,
240
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,835
YOU CAN AFFORD
TO SCREW UP YOUR LIVES.
241
00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:05,137
I AM OUT
OF SECOND CHANCES.
242
00:10:05,237 --> 00:10:06,372
JOY, YOU'RE TENSE.
243
00:10:06,472 --> 00:10:10,009
I MEAN, YOU GOT A LOT
ON YOUR PLATE.
244
00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:11,243
YOU GOT FULL-TIME JOB.
245
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:12,945
YOU'VE GOT
YOUR OWN HOUSE HERE
246
00:10:13,045 --> 00:10:16,115
THAT YOU PROBABLY
HAVE TO, YOU KNOW,
VACUUM AND STUFF.
247
00:10:16,215 --> 00:10:19,285
YOU KNOW, PLUS
YOU'RE GOING BACK TO SCHOOL.
248
00:10:19,385 --> 00:10:21,787
AND THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL.
249
00:10:21,887 --> 00:10:23,956
IT IS STRESSFUL.
250
00:10:24,056 --> 00:10:25,658
YOU DESERVE
SOME YOU TIME.
I DO.
251
00:10:25,758 --> 00:10:28,094
I MEAN, WHAT--
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
252
00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:31,964
DO YOU--YOU DON'T
LIKE TO DRINK?
253
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:38,104
I LOVE TO DRINK.
254
00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:43,109
AHH!
YES!
255
00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:45,011
OOH!
LIKE THAT?
256
00:10:45,111 --> 00:10:47,313
COLLEGE ROCKS!
257
00:10:47,413 --> 00:10:48,881
WHOO!
258
00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:51,717
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
259
00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:54,720
OH, HI, BABY!
Allie: HI.
260
00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:57,623
THIS IS MY STUDY GROUP.
261
00:10:57,723 --> 00:10:59,291
BABY, COULD YOU RUN DOWN
TO THE CORNER
262
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:02,662
AND GET MAMA JOY-JOY
SOME MENTHOLS?
263
00:11:04,196 --> 00:11:06,032
MOM, ARE YOU DRUNK?
264
00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:09,035
I HOPE SO, BECAUSE
WE ARE OUT OF BOOZE.
265
00:11:09,135 --> 00:11:11,270
OK, ALL RIGHT, GUYS,
PARTY'S OVER.
266
00:11:11,370 --> 00:11:13,472
LET'S GO, EVERYONE.
OUT, OUT, OUT, OUT.
267
00:11:13,572 --> 00:11:14,807
LET'S GO. COME ON.
268
00:11:14,907 --> 00:11:17,243
BYE, JOY.
OK, COME ON, MOM.
LET'S GET UP.
269
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:19,612
COME ON, LET'S GET UP.
OK.
270
00:11:19,712 --> 00:11:20,846
OH, HEY, MAN.
271
00:11:20,913 --> 00:11:24,116
UM, DO YOU KNOW
WHERE I CAN SCORE SOME, UM--
272
00:11:24,216 --> 00:11:27,086
YEAH, I DO.
BUT GET OUT.
273
00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:30,890
WOW. DOUG,
SHE IS WASTED.
274
00:11:30,990 --> 00:11:32,491
THAT'S OK, THAT'S OK,
275
00:11:32,591 --> 00:11:34,794
I USED TO WORK
THE BAD TRIP TENT
AT BURNING MAN.
276
00:11:34,894 --> 00:11:36,562
ALL RIGHT, HEY, DUDE!
277
00:11:36,662 --> 00:11:40,099
DUDE, YOUR FACE
IS NOT MELTING.
278
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:43,602
IT JUST FEELS
LIKE IT IS, OK?
279
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:45,771
OH, MY GOD,
DAD'S HOME.
280
00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:47,406
OH, GOD, DAD,
HE CAN'T SEE ME LIKE THIS.
281
00:11:47,506 --> 00:11:51,210
NO, HE WAS SO PROUD.
HE TOOK PICTURES.
282
00:11:52,144 --> 00:11:53,079
HIDE ME.
283
00:11:53,179 --> 00:11:55,648
LET'S HIDE HER.
284
00:11:55,748 --> 00:11:57,249
HERE.
285
00:11:57,349 --> 00:11:59,218
HIDE ME.
286
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:02,121
HELLO, PEOPLE.
287
00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:04,190
HEY, DAD.
288
00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:07,426
LIME, SALT, BOOZE.
289
00:12:07,526 --> 00:12:10,229
OK, WHERE'S YOUR MOTHER?
290
00:12:10,329 --> 00:12:12,665
UH...
291
00:12:12,765 --> 00:12:14,667
HMM!
292
00:12:17,436 --> 00:12:18,437
I FE--
293
00:12:18,537 --> 00:12:21,140
HMM, YES.
294
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:24,744
IF I WERE JOY,
WHERE...
295
00:12:24,844 --> 00:12:26,779
WOULD I BE?
296
00:12:26,879 --> 00:12:28,581
ALL RIGHT, KIDS,
COME ON OUT.
297
00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:32,251
GIVE ME AND YOUR MOM
SOME PRIVACY. COME ON.
298
00:12:32,351 --> 00:12:34,386
WELL, YOU DON'T--
YOU DON'T THINK
299
00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:37,957
MAYBE WE SHOULD HAVE
A FAMILY DISCUSSION
ABOUT THIS?
300
00:12:38,057 --> 00:12:39,558
WELL, IF I DID,
301
00:12:39,658 --> 00:12:43,028
YOU AND YOUR HEMP HAT
WOULDN'T BE IN
THE PICTURE.
302
00:12:45,965 --> 00:12:49,001
HI, BABE.
303
00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:50,936
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU.
YOU'RE DRUNK.
304
00:12:51,036 --> 00:12:54,807
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT
YOU DID THE FIRST TIME
YOU WENT TO COLLEGE.
305
00:12:54,907 --> 00:12:55,841
EXCEPT THIS TIME,
306
00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:59,378
I STUDIED PRIOR
TO MY DRINKING.
307
00:12:59,478 --> 00:13:00,513
OH.
I'M GOOD.
308
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,214
ARE YOU?
GOT IT ALL
UP HERE.
309
00:13:02,314 --> 00:13:04,016
SO.
310
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:06,418
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN
STUDYING?
311
00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:08,320
BOSTON TEA PARTY.
312
00:13:08,420 --> 00:13:11,657
AND WHAT CAN YOU
TELL ME ABOUT
THE BOSTON TEA PARTY?
313
00:13:11,757 --> 00:13:14,660
IT WAS IN
BOSTON.
314
00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:15,795
BUT WHAT
HAPPENED?
315
00:13:15,895 --> 00:13:17,663
THEY THREW
THE TEA OVERBOARD.
316
00:13:17,763 --> 00:13:20,499
WHO THREW
THE TEA OVERBOARD?
317
00:13:20,599 --> 00:13:22,868
THE GERMANS.
318
00:13:25,070 --> 00:13:27,540
WHY WOULD THE GERMANS
COME TO BOSTON
319
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,175
TO THROW TEA OVERBOARD?
320
00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:32,211
EDDIE, GERMANS
ARE PRETTY MEAN.
321
00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:34,647
OK, YOU ARE A HOT MESS.
322
00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:38,317
YOU WERE RIGHT, OK?
I CANNOT DO THIS
323
00:13:38,417 --> 00:13:39,919
AT THIS POINT
IN MY LIFE.
324
00:13:40,019 --> 00:13:42,555
I MEAN, I GO
TO WORK ALL DAY
325
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:46,759
AND THEN I COME HOME
AND I HAVE TO FOLD
YOUR GIANT PANTS.
326
00:13:46,859 --> 00:13:48,794
I MEAN, DO YOU KNOW
HOW LONG THAT TAKES?
327
00:13:48,894 --> 00:13:50,229
IT'S LIKE PACKING UP A TENT.
328
00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:53,766
AND I--I HAVE A PAPER DUE
THAT I HAVE TO WRITE
329
00:13:53,866 --> 00:13:55,534
AND IT'S DUE TOMORROW,
330
00:13:55,634 --> 00:13:58,571
AND IF I DON'T GET
A B MINUS, I'M GOING
TO FAIL THIS CLASS.
331
00:13:58,671 --> 00:13:59,972
LOOK, YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO FAIL IT, OK?
332
00:14:00,072 --> 00:14:02,708
WE'RE GONNA WRITE IT TOGETHER.
I WILL HELP YOU.
333
00:14:02,808 --> 00:14:05,144
I'M A HISTORY TEACHER,
YOU KNOW.
334
00:14:05,244 --> 00:14:06,679
I DON'T WANT HELP!
335
00:14:06,779 --> 00:14:09,715
OK? I JUST WANT IT
ALL TO GO AWAY.
336
00:14:09,815 --> 00:14:12,885
OH, COME ON, DADDY!
COME ON!
337
00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:14,153
OH, COME ON, MMM!
338
00:14:14,253 --> 00:14:15,721
TAKE ME UPSTAIRS.
LET'S MAKE A BABY
339
00:14:15,821 --> 00:14:19,191
SO MAMA DOESN'T HAVE
TO GO TO SCHOOL.
340
00:14:19,291 --> 00:14:21,527
OH, NO, NO!
341
00:14:21,627 --> 00:14:24,630
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
342
00:14:24,730 --> 00:14:26,332
I WILL TAKE YOU UPSTAIRS,
343
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:30,870
BUT IMMEDIATELY AFTER,
WE'RE GOING TO WRITE
THIS PAPER TOGETHER.
344
00:14:34,773 --> 00:14:35,875
JOY...
345
00:14:35,975 --> 00:14:39,645
WE'RE ABOUT TO EMBARK
ON A JOURNEY.
346
00:14:39,745 --> 00:14:42,181
A JOURNEY THAT,
HERETOFORE,
347
00:14:42,281 --> 00:14:46,485
YOU AND I HAVE NEVER
TAKEN TOGETHER.
348
00:14:46,585 --> 00:14:50,656
A JOURNEY THROUGH AMERICA.
349
00:14:50,756 --> 00:14:53,325
LET'S GET STARTED,
SHALL WE?
350
00:14:53,425 --> 00:14:55,561
OK, HERE WE GO.
351
00:14:55,661 --> 00:14:58,230
OH, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
352
00:14:58,330 --> 00:14:59,665
HONEY, HONEY, HONEY.
353
00:14:59,765 --> 00:15:02,134
LET'S PUMP THE BRAKES
A LITTLE HERE.
354
00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:04,370
WHY? WHAT'S WRONG?
355
00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:06,805
YOU JUST DON'T
WRITE A PAPER.
356
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:10,809
YOU HAVE TO LET THE TOPIC
JUST WASH OVER YOU.
357
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,611
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
OK.
358
00:15:12,711 --> 00:15:14,713
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT--
CLOSE YOUR EYES.
359
00:15:14,813 --> 00:15:16,348
ALL RIGHT,
WHY DO I HAVE TO--
360
00:15:16,448 --> 00:15:19,652
PSSH, CLOSE YOUR EYES.
361
00:15:21,153 --> 00:15:23,122
WHERE ARE WE?
362
00:15:23,222 --> 00:15:24,890
WE'RE IN
OUR HOUSE--
363
00:15:24,990 --> 00:15:27,426
BOP BOP BOP BOP,
WHERE ARE WE, DARLING?
364
00:15:27,526 --> 00:15:29,762
IS IT--IS IT PHILADELPHIA?
365
00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:33,365
PERHAPS. BUT NOT
THE PHILLY OF TODAY.
366
00:15:33,465 --> 00:15:38,437
IT IS 1776.
367
00:15:38,537 --> 00:15:40,339
AND THINGS
ARE QUITE DIFFERENT.
368
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:43,676
IS THERE
A LIBERTY BELL? YEP.
369
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,577
BUT GUESS WHAT?
370
00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:48,447
NO CRACK.
371
00:15:48,547 --> 00:15:50,482
THERE IS
A MODEST CANDLE MAKER
372
00:15:50,582 --> 00:15:52,217
NAMED JEDIDIAH WHO SEEMS--
373
00:15:52,318 --> 00:15:55,654
WOW, IT IS
LIKE I'M THERE.
LET'S GET A'WRITIN'!
374
00:15:55,754 --> 00:15:57,289
OK. WHOA, HONEY, WAIT.
375
00:15:57,389 --> 00:15:58,657
WAIT, WHOA, WHOA.
376
00:15:58,757 --> 00:15:59,758
LISTEN TO ME,
LISTEN TO ME.
377
00:15:59,858 --> 00:16:00,960
THE FIRST SENTENCE
IS SO IMPORTANT.
378
00:16:01,060 --> 00:16:03,028
IT HAS TO GRAB THE READER
BY THE THROAT
379
00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:04,363
AND TELL HIM,
"HEY, BUDDY,
380
00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:07,700
YOU'RE ABOUT TO TAKE
THE RIDE OF YOUR LIFE!"
381
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:08,801
OK.
382
00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:09,835
OK!
383
00:16:09,935 --> 00:16:12,538
HOW ABOUT
SOMETHING LIKE...
384
00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:15,140
[TYPING]
385
00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:19,011
THIS. "WHEN BETSY ROSS
STARTED SEWING THAT FLAG,
386
00:16:19,111 --> 00:16:20,946
"SHE HAD NO IDEA
HOW THE REVOLUTION
387
00:16:21,046 --> 00:16:24,483
WOULD CHANGE
THE ROLE OF WOMEN
IN THIS COUNTRY."
388
00:16:24,583 --> 00:16:26,118
HMM. MM-HMM.
389
00:16:26,218 --> 00:16:27,286
OK.
OK.
390
00:16:27,386 --> 00:16:29,855
OK, OR HOW ABOUT THIS?
391
00:16:29,955 --> 00:16:31,156
WHAT--DO YOU MIND?
392
00:16:31,256 --> 00:16:34,159
WHAT--I'M SORRY,
YOU'RE RIGHT,
THAT WAS RUDE.
393
00:16:34,259 --> 00:16:35,060
OK.
394
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,396
LET ME TAKE IT OVER HERE.
395
00:16:39,631 --> 00:16:41,500
PASSED THE COURSE!
396
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:43,602
HEY! CONGRATULATIONS.
397
00:16:43,702 --> 00:16:46,538
I GOT MY PAPER BACK,
AND I HAVE PASSED
THE COURSE.
398
00:16:46,638 --> 00:16:49,208
WELL, TECHNICALLY,
WE PASSED THE COURSE.
399
00:16:49,308 --> 00:16:51,010
YOU DID
MOST OF THE WORK,
400
00:16:51,110 --> 00:16:52,644
BUT I DID SLEEP
WITH YOU,
401
00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:56,048
SO IT'S NOT LIKE
I DIDN'T MAKE
ANY SACRIFICE.
402
00:16:56,148 --> 00:16:58,317
OK. SO, WHAT'D YOU GET?
403
00:16:58,417 --> 00:16:59,551
BA-BLING!
B-MINUS.
404
00:16:59,651 --> 00:17:00,986
WHAT'S UP!
WHAT'S UP!
405
00:17:01,086 --> 00:17:02,721
WHAT-WHAT-WHAT-WHAT-WHAT!
406
00:17:02,821 --> 00:17:05,524
B-MINUS?
407
00:17:05,624 --> 00:17:07,226
B-MINUS.
408
00:17:07,326 --> 00:17:08,627
HMM.
409
00:17:08,727 --> 00:17:11,530
YOU SAVED MY BACON,
YOU GIANT JEWISH WORDSMITH.
410
00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:14,233
THERE'S RED MARKS
ALL OVER HERE.
411
00:17:14,333 --> 00:17:17,036
IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY
STABBED MY PAPER.
412
00:17:17,136 --> 00:17:18,871
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
413
00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:20,773
WHAT'S TO UNDERSTAND?
I PASSED.
414
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:22,074
I'M GONNA GO UPSTAIRS
AND FRESHEN UP,
415
00:17:22,174 --> 00:17:24,043
AND WE'RE GONNA GO
FOR A CELEBRATORY DINNER.
416
00:17:24,143 --> 00:17:26,545
BUT A B-MINUS IS A GRADE
FOR POTHEADS,
417
00:17:26,645 --> 00:17:30,115
PREGNANT GIRLS,
AND DUDES WITH MONO.
418
00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:35,020
IT'S OVER, EDDIE,
LET IT GO.
419
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:38,390
OH, IT'S FAR FROM OVER.
420
00:17:41,093 --> 00:17:42,528
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
421
00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:45,164
UH, PROFESSOR
DEBASKY?
422
00:17:45,264 --> 00:17:46,465
YEAH.
HOW ARE YOU?
423
00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:48,133
I'M EDDIE STARK.
424
00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:51,103
MY WIFE JOY
IS IN YOUR CLASS.
425
00:17:51,203 --> 00:17:52,771
COULD WE CHAT
FOR JUST A SECOND?
426
00:17:52,871 --> 00:17:54,373
OH, OF COURSE.
PLEASE.
427
00:17:54,473 --> 00:17:55,841
SORRY ABOUT THE SMALL SPACE.
428
00:17:55,941 --> 00:17:57,476
I'M GETTING A BIGGER OFFICE.
429
00:17:57,576 --> 00:18:01,146
IF THAT POLY SCI PROFESSOR
WOULD JUST HURRY UP
AND DIE ALREADY.
430
00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:03,449
HA HA HA HA!
I'M KIDDING.
431
00:18:03,549 --> 00:18:06,185
I AM GETTING
A BIGGER OFFICE, THOUGH.
432
00:18:06,285 --> 00:18:08,187
THAT PART IS NO JOKE.
433
00:18:08,287 --> 00:18:10,956
WELL, MY WIFE
REALLY CAN'T SAY
ENOUGH ABOUT YOU.
434
00:18:11,056 --> 00:18:13,125
SHE LOVES YOUR CLASS.
OH, THANKS.
435
00:18:13,225 --> 00:18:14,860
YOU MUST BE
A GIFTED INSTRUCTOR.
436
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,261
YES, THANK YOU. HA HA.
437
00:18:16,361 --> 00:18:17,863
IT'S TOTALLY WASTED HERE.
438
00:18:17,963 --> 00:18:21,233
I'M IN HELL!
439
00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:22,901
OK, IT'S, UM--
440
00:18:23,001 --> 00:18:24,303
ACTUALLY,
IT'S ABOUT HER PAPER.
441
00:18:24,403 --> 00:18:26,772
YOU GAVE HER A B-MINUS,
AND QUITE FRANKLY,
442
00:18:26,872 --> 00:18:29,208
I WAS SURPRISED.
443
00:18:29,308 --> 00:18:30,342
LET'S SEE.
444
00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:31,710
OH, YEAH.
445
00:18:31,810 --> 00:18:33,445
WELL, YOU KNOW,
IT'S NOT QUITE
A B-MINUS PAPER,
446
00:18:33,545 --> 00:18:36,181
BUT I FEEL LIKE
SHE WORKED HARD ON IT.
447
00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:38,217
SO, YOU'RE WELCOME.
448
00:18:38,317 --> 00:18:39,918
HA HA HA!
449
00:18:40,018 --> 00:18:41,520
NO, NO, I DON'T THINK
YOU UNDERSTAND.
450
00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:44,356
YOU SEE,
I'M A HISTORY TEACHER.
451
00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:45,657
AND I--
OH, WHERE DO YOU TEACH?
452
00:18:45,757 --> 00:18:47,192
OH, WINSTON CHURCHILL
HIGH SCHOOL.
453
00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:50,095
OH, HIGH SCHOOL.
454
00:18:50,195 --> 00:18:51,563
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
455
00:18:51,663 --> 00:18:54,833
WELL, LOOKING AT THIS PAPER
FROM A HIGH SCHOOL STANDPOINT,
456
00:18:54,933 --> 00:18:58,537
IT'S OK, BUT LOOKING AT IT
FROM A COLLEGE STANDPOINT--
457
00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:01,106
COMMUNITY COLLEGE.
458
00:19:02,341 --> 00:19:04,409
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
459
00:19:04,510 --> 00:19:07,045
AH, I THINK WE BOTH
KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
460
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:11,617
WHAT IS IT YOU WOULD LIKE ME
TO DO FOR YOU, MR. STARK?
461
00:19:11,717 --> 00:19:14,786
UP THE GRADE,
MY BROTHER.
462
00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:18,423
LOOK, I HAVE A MEETING
WITH MY BOOK AGENT
463
00:19:18,524 --> 00:19:20,659
AT MY MOM'S HOUSE
IN 15 MINUTES.
464
00:19:20,759 --> 00:19:22,761
IN DEFERENCE
TO YOUR PROFESSIONAL OPINION,
465
00:19:22,861 --> 00:19:26,231
WHAT DO YOU SAY I JUST
PUT A LINE THROUGH
THAT NASTY MINUS,
466
00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:27,933
MAKE IT A B-PLUS, HUH?
467
00:19:28,033 --> 00:19:29,668
WELL, THAT
WOULD BE GREAT,
468
00:19:29,768 --> 00:19:32,371
IF IT WAS A B-PLUS.
469
00:19:32,471 --> 00:19:33,805
BUT IT'S NOT.
470
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:35,274
IT'S AN "A."
471
00:19:35,374 --> 00:19:38,844
[LAUGHS]
IT IS NOT AN "A."
472
00:19:38,944 --> 00:19:39,912
IT IS.
473
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:44,516
IT IS DERIVATIVE
AND PEDESTRIAN.
474
00:19:44,616 --> 00:19:46,785
IT IS COGENT
AND ILLUMINATING.
475
00:19:46,885 --> 00:19:49,121
WHO THE HELL GETS
AN "A" IN YOUR CLASS
476
00:19:49,221 --> 00:19:50,822
IF A HISTORY TEACHER
GETS A B-MINUS?
477
00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:54,726
BUT YOU DIDN'T WRITE IT,
MR. STARK. YOUR WIFE DID.
478
00:19:54,826 --> 00:19:58,163
[CHUCKLES]
WHAT ARE YOU, CRAZY?
479
00:19:58,263 --> 00:20:00,632
"SOON, THE ABIGAIL ADAMS
MODEL BECAME UBIQUITOUS;
480
00:20:00,732 --> 00:20:03,802
THE PROTOTYPE
FOR THE MODERN DAY
SINGLE MOTHER."
481
00:20:03,902 --> 00:20:05,871
YOU THINK MY DINGBAT
WIFE COULD HAVE
WRITTEN THAT?
482
00:20:05,971 --> 00:20:10,742
COME ON, THE WOMAN
DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW
TO PRONOUNCE WHEELBARROW!
483
00:20:10,842 --> 00:20:13,579
YOU SAYING
YOU WROTE THIS PAPER?
484
00:20:13,679 --> 00:20:14,947
DID I STUTTER?
485
00:20:17,349 --> 00:20:19,751
AGAIN, I'M REALLY SORRY
I GOT YOU KICKED OUT
OF COLLEGE.
486
00:20:19,851 --> 00:20:20,953
YES, I KNOW.
487
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,488
LOOK, I JUST--
I JUST DIDN'T THINK
488
00:20:23,589 --> 00:20:24,556
THAT I DESERVED
A B-MINUS.
489
00:20:24,656 --> 00:20:25,891
YES, YOU SAID THAT BEFORE.
490
00:20:25,991 --> 00:20:27,159
WELL, YEAH. I MEAN,
YOU KNOW, IT WASN'T
491
00:20:27,259 --> 00:20:28,527
THE BEST THING
I EVER WROTE,
492
00:20:28,627 --> 00:20:30,896
BUT CLEARLY,
I HAD TO DO IT
SO QUICKLY--
493
00:20:30,996 --> 00:20:33,031
DON'T CARE.
494
00:20:33,131 --> 00:20:36,535
AND BY THE WAY,
YOU DON'T NEED
A PIECE OF PAPER
495
00:20:36,635 --> 00:20:38,303
TO TELL YOU
HOW SMART YOU ARE.
496
00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:40,105
YOU'RE VERY SMART.
497
00:20:40,205 --> 00:20:41,840
YOU KNOW,
YOU'RE NO MAGELLAN,
498
00:20:41,940 --> 00:20:44,576
BUT YOU GOT
LIFE EXPERIENCES,
YOU GOT COMMON SENSE,
499
00:20:44,676 --> 00:20:47,279
YOU CAN'T FIND THAT
IN A BOOK, RIGHT?
500
00:20:47,379 --> 00:20:49,114
YOU KNOW WHAT?
501
00:20:49,214 --> 00:20:50,916
YOU'RE RIGHT.
502
00:20:51,016 --> 00:20:53,785
I DON'T NEED TO PROVE
ANYTHING TO ANYBODY.
503
00:20:53,885 --> 00:20:55,587
THAT'S MY GIRL.
504
00:20:55,687 --> 00:20:56,955
[CHUCKLES]
505
00:20:57,055 --> 00:20:58,857
HI.
HEY.
506
00:20:58,957 --> 00:21:00,192
{\an8}ARE YOU GUYS
READY TO ORDER?
507
00:21:00,292 --> 00:21:01,560
{\an8}YES, WE ARE.
I WILL HAVE
508
00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:05,797
{\an8}THE BACON BARBECUE
CHEDDAR BURGER, AND...
509
00:21:05,897 --> 00:21:09,935
{\an8}THE BONELESS WING TRIO.
510
00:21:10,035 --> 00:21:11,036
{\an8}AND FOR YOU?
511
00:21:11,136 --> 00:21:13,839
{\an8}UH, I'M FEELING
LIKE ITALIAN TONIGHT.
512
00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:17,242
{\an8}I'D LIKE TO TRY
THE GNOCCHI.
513
00:21:18,910 --> 00:21:20,145
{\an8}DID YOU MEAN THE--
514
00:21:20,245 --> 00:21:22,381
{\an8}BOP, BOP, BOP, BOP,
SHE MEANS THE GNOCCHI!
515
00:21:22,481 --> 00:21:24,483
{\an8}GO GET IT. OK.
516
00:21:24,583 --> 00:21:26,018
{\an8}OK.
517
00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,853
{\an8}[SCOFFS]
518
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:30,589
{\an8}[CHEERING]
38326
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