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YO
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YOU
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{\an8}G ♪
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♪ I LIKE COFFEE,
TEA'S YOUR BAG ♪
5
00:00:06,639 --> 00:00:08,308
♪ THOUGH IT MAKES
NO SENSE, IT'S TRUE ♪
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00:00:08,408 --> 00:00:11,411
♪ THERE'S NO ME
WITHOUT YOU ♪
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{\an8}Brad Garrett:
'TIL DEATH IS FILMED IN FRONT
OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.
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00:00:15,281 --> 00:00:17,384
{\an8}MY MOTHER HAS BEEN
CLEANING OUT THE BASEMENT
9
00:00:17,484 --> 00:00:20,487
{\an8}AND SHE KEEPS SENDING ME
ALL MY OLD STUFF.
10
00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:21,454
{\an8}HA.
11
00:00:21,554 --> 00:00:22,756
{\an8}OH, MY GOD!
12
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{\an8}IT'S MY PROM DRESS.
13
00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:28,161
{\an8}SMELLS LIKE RUM.
14
00:00:28,261 --> 00:00:29,629
{\an8}SHOULD I TRY IT ON?
15
00:00:29,729 --> 00:00:32,165
{\an8}ON WHAT?
16
00:00:32,265 --> 00:00:33,533
{\an8}ON MY BODY.
17
00:00:33,633 --> 00:00:35,668
{\an8}YOUR WHOLE BODY?
18
00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:37,070
{\an8}WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
19
00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:38,505
{\an8}YOU DON'T THINK THAT
I CAN FIT INTO THIS ANYMORE?
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{\an8}HONEY, NO.
I'M JUST SAYING THAT IT...
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00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:42,776
{\an8}I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
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00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,644
{\an8}YOU DON'T THINK
THAT I CAN SQUEEZE
INTO THIS DRESS, DO YOU?
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00:00:44,744 --> 00:00:47,547
{\an8}NO, LOOK.
IF IT DOESN'T FIT, YOU'RE
GONNA TAKE IT OUT ON ME.
24
00:00:47,647 --> 00:00:51,484
{\an8}AND IF IT DOES FIT...
IT'S NOT GONNA FIT.
25
00:00:51,584 --> 00:00:54,587
{\an8}I'M GONNA TRY IT ON RIGHT NOW.
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00:00:54,687 --> 00:00:57,190
{\an8}HONEY, LOOK. I DON'T THINK
PUTTING ON A DRESS
27
00:00:57,290 --> 00:01:00,393
{\an8}SHOULD INVOLVE SO MUCH
CURSING AND GRUNTING.
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00:01:00,493 --> 00:01:04,631
{\an8}SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE MAKING
A BALLOON ANIMAL IN THERE.
29
00:01:10,270 --> 00:01:11,538
{\an8}WOW.
30
00:01:11,638 --> 00:01:13,973
{\an8}IS IT ZIPPED?
31
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,811
{\an8}YOU DAMN RIGHT IT'S ZIPPED.
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{\an8}YOU LOOK AMAZING.
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{\an8}TELL ME SOMETHING
I DON'T KNOW, STRETCH.
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{\an8}OH, DEAR GOD,
PLEASE UNZIP ME.
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{\an8}AHH.
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{\an8}OK.
37
00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:37,630
{\an8}AHH. WOW.
38
00:01:37,730 --> 00:01:40,834
{\an8}THE BRAIN REALLY DOES
NEED OXYGEN.
39
00:01:42,969 --> 00:01:44,537
{\an8}GOT IT?
YEAH. OK.
40
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{\an8}ALL RIGHT.
WHOO!
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00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:48,975
{\an8}WELL.
42
00:01:49,075 --> 00:01:52,011
{\an8}SO.
43
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,347
{\an8}HOW YOU ENJOYING
THE PROM?
44
00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:59,752
{\an8}UM, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
45
00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:01,588
WHERE'S YOUR DATE?
46
00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:05,859
UM, I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE HE'S UPSTAIRS
SPIKING THE PUNCH.
47
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,260
WHERE'S YOURS?
48
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,562
I DON'T HAVE A DATE.
49
00:02:09,662 --> 00:02:12,465
I'M PARKING CARS.
50
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:17,604
AH, WORKING MAN. I LIKE IT.
51
00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:20,273
YEAH, I DO ALL RIGHT.
52
00:02:20,373 --> 00:02:24,444
I MAKE TIPS,
STEAL CHANGE AND WHATNOT.
53
00:02:24,544 --> 00:02:26,246
SO, UH...
54
00:02:26,346 --> 00:02:30,250
A COUPLE OF KIDS
LEFT A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE
IN THE LIMO.
55
00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:32,952
WANNA HEAD ON OUT THERE?
56
00:02:33,052 --> 00:02:35,989
WHY DON'T WE STAY RIGHT HERE?
57
00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:39,425
OH. WHAT IF YOUR
BOYFRIEND COMES BACK?
58
00:02:39,526 --> 00:02:42,195
OH, I THINK YOU CAN HANDLE HIM.
59
00:02:42,295 --> 00:02:45,398
YOU LOOK FAIRLY STRONG.
60
00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:46,966
OH, I AM STRONG.
61
00:02:47,066 --> 00:02:50,069
AND--AND MYSTERIOUS.
62
00:02:51,571 --> 00:02:55,775
AND MISUNDERSTOOD.
63
00:02:55,875 --> 00:02:57,110
SOUNDS LIKE MY TYPE.
64
00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:59,145
MY PARENTS WOULD HATE YOU.
65
00:02:59,245 --> 00:03:02,549
WHY? 'CAUSE I'M JEWISH?
66
00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:04,050
NO, 'CAUSE YOU'RE A BAD BOY.
67
00:03:04,150 --> 00:03:06,286
R-R-RIGHT, RIGHT,
RIGHT. YEAH.
68
00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:08,421
YEAH, I'M A BAD BOY.
69
00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:14,794
BUT I'M PRETTY INTO YOU,
HOT HIGH SCHOOL CHICK.
70
00:03:14,894 --> 00:03:16,362
YEAH? WELL,
I'M PRETTY INTO YOU,
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00:03:16,462 --> 00:03:22,936
TALL, WEIRD, HORNY,
PARKING ATTENDANT GUY.
72
00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:25,004
HEH HEH.
73
00:03:32,979 --> 00:03:34,380
WOW.
74
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:36,216
YEAH.
75
00:03:36,316 --> 00:03:38,117
THAT WAS KINDA--
76
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,919
BETTER.
77
00:03:46,192 --> 00:03:47,894
MORNING.
HEY, HONEY.
78
00:03:47,994 --> 00:03:50,063
I GOTTA RUN.
I HAVE AN EARLY MORNING MEETING.
79
00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:55,535
NO--BUT I WAS MAKING YOU
A "THANKS FOR PUTTING OUT
ON PROM NIGHT" FRITTATA.
80
00:03:55,635 --> 00:03:57,370
I GOTTA GO.
OK.
81
00:03:57,470 --> 00:03:58,605
LOVE YOU.
82
00:03:58,705 --> 00:03:59,839
LOVE YOU.
83
00:03:59,939 --> 00:04:01,841
[INDISTINCT]
84
00:04:01,941 --> 00:04:04,877
HEY, KENNY.
HEY!
85
00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:06,312
WHAT'S UP, EDDIE?
86
00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:08,448
HEY, KENNY. HOW'S THE GIG
AT THE COPY PLACE GOING?
87
00:04:08,548 --> 00:04:10,883
AH, PRETTY GOOD.
PRETTY GOOD.
PRETTY GOOD.
88
00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:12,952
I STARTED OUT JUST STANDING
AROUND MAKING COPIES.
89
00:04:13,052 --> 00:04:14,587
THEN I GOT PROMOTED
TO MANAGER.
90
00:04:14,687 --> 00:04:17,890
NOW, I'M STANDING AROUND
MAKING COPIES IN THIS VEST.
91
00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:19,892
WHY DOES IT SAY "ANDY"?
92
00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:22,495
WELL, IT WAS EITHER THAT
OR LOUISE.
93
00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:27,500
WELL, ANDY, IT'S NICE
TO SEE YOU HAVE A SMOOTH
OPERATION GOING ON THERE.
94
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,903
A CUSTOMER CAME IN TODAY WITH
SOMETHING PRETTY INTERESTING.
95
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:33,039
CHECK IT OUT.
96
00:04:33,139 --> 00:04:37,143
WAIT--WAIT. ARE YOU ALLOWED
TO KEEP COPIES OF PEOPLE'S
PERSONAL DOCUMENTS?
97
00:04:37,243 --> 00:04:38,778
IT'S A GRAY AREA.
98
00:04:38,878 --> 00:04:41,648
"LOST POODLE--
$1,000 REWARD."
99
00:04:41,748 --> 00:04:44,884
THEN, ON THE WAY HERE,
I NOTICED THESE WERE HERE.
LOOK AT THIS.
100
00:04:44,984 --> 00:04:46,853
"LOST CAT." "LOST PARAKEET."
101
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:50,156
I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS
ABOUT THIS ONE RIGHT HERE.
102
00:04:50,256 --> 00:04:52,792
IT LOOKS LIKE A CHEETAH.
103
00:04:52,892 --> 00:04:54,827
I'M TELLING YA, MAN.
I LOVE THE SUBURBS.
104
00:04:54,927 --> 00:04:57,630
PEOPLE ARE JUST
NAILING CASH TO TREES.
105
00:04:57,730 --> 00:05:00,233
WE LOST MY COUSIN ROCKY ONE TIME
FOR A WEEK AND A HALF.
106
00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:03,636
SOME LADY FOUND HIM.
I THINK WE GAVE HER AN APPLE.
107
00:05:03,736 --> 00:05:06,172
SO, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
YOU GONNA GO HUNTING
FOR LOST PETS?
108
00:05:06,272 --> 00:05:09,342
EXACTLY. I KNOW ANIMALS.
I KNOW HOW THEY THINK.
109
00:05:09,442 --> 00:05:10,476
I KNOW HOW TO TALK TO THEM.
110
00:05:10,576 --> 00:05:12,945
CAN YOU HEAR THIS RIGHT HERE?
LOOK.
111
00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:15,682
NO.
112
00:05:15,782 --> 00:05:17,950
BUT THIS GREAT DANE
NAMED ALFRED CAN.
113
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:19,385
YOU GONNA EAT
THE REST OF THOSE EGGS?
114
00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:24,791
WH--I MADE IT FOR ME
AND--UH--HELP YOURSELF.
115
00:05:25,892 --> 00:05:27,026
EVERYTHING OK?
116
00:05:27,126 --> 00:05:30,563
YEAH. I GOTTA TELL YOU.
LAST NIGHT WAS THE...
117
00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:33,199
NEVER MIND.
WHAT?
118
00:05:33,299 --> 00:05:36,803
NO, NOTHING.
IT'S JUST BETWEEN ME AND JOY.
119
00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:38,371
ALL RIGHT, MAN. COOL.
120
00:05:38,471 --> 00:05:39,972
IT'S OUR SEX LIFE.
121
00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:43,409
I MEAN, LAST NIGHT
WE HAD THE MOST
CREATIVE LOVEMAKING EVER.
122
00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:45,144
AND IT WASN'T EVEN THE 31st.
123
00:05:45,244 --> 00:05:46,746
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS.
124
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,481
WELL, YOU SEE EVERY MONTH
IF WE DON'T HAVE SEX,
125
00:05:48,581 --> 00:05:50,917
THEN WE'RE OBLIGATED TO HAVE IT
ON THE LAST DAY OF THE MONTH.
126
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:54,620
YOU ONLY SLEEP WITH YOUR
WOMAN 12 TIMES A YEAR?!
127
00:05:54,721 --> 00:05:57,757
AT A MINIMUM.
IT'S--IT'S A BASELINE.
128
00:05:57,857 --> 00:06:02,195
IT'S A SEXUAL SAFETY NET,
IF YOU WILL.
129
00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:04,163
AND WE DID
A LITTLE ROLE PLAYING.
130
00:06:04,263 --> 00:06:05,898
OH, REALLY.
YEAH. YOU EVER DO THAT?
131
00:06:05,998 --> 00:06:11,037
OH, YEAH. I VERY RARELY
HAVE SEX AS MYSELF.
132
00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:12,405
AND I HAVE TO TELL YOU,
I WANT TO DO IT AGAIN,
133
00:06:12,505 --> 00:06:14,507
BUT I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS
ABOUT ASKING JOY.
134
00:06:14,607 --> 00:06:16,542
YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANT TO HURT
HER FEELINGS BY SAYING,
135
00:06:16,642 --> 00:06:20,012
I'D RATHER HAVE SEX WITH
SOME FANTASY THAN WITH HER.
136
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:24,984
BUT HONESTLY,
I'D RATHER HAVE SEX WITH
SOME FANTASY THAN WITH HER.
137
00:06:25,084 --> 00:06:26,753
THAT'S PERFECTLY NATURAL.
138
00:06:26,853 --> 00:06:28,855
GO FOR IT.
YEAH?
139
00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:30,690
ARE YOU SURE?
YEAH.
140
00:06:30,790 --> 00:06:34,560
I MEAN, IS SHE GONNA BE HAPPY
CONSTANTLY PRETENDING
I'M SOMEONE ELSE?
141
00:06:34,660 --> 00:06:38,030
YEAH. I THINK SHE'LL MANAGE.
142
00:06:39,031 --> 00:06:40,400
LOOK, MY OPINION IS THIS.
143
00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:42,502
YOU RIDE THIS HORSE UNTIL
IT BUCKS YOU OFF, MAN.
144
00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:44,637
BUT IF YOU'RE STILL
WORRIED ABOUT IT,
HERE'S WHAT YOU DO.
145
00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:47,707
TONIGHT YOU COME IN DRESSED
IN SOMETHING THAT COULD BE
ROLE PLAYING.
146
00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:50,309
IF SHE SAYS
SHE'S NOT INTO IT,
YOU EXPLAIN IT AWAY.
147
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:57,316
OK. HOW DO I EXPLAIN AWAY
A SCUBA MASK
AND A STARTER'S PISTOL?
148
00:06:57,417 --> 00:07:00,219
WHAT KINDA TWISTED
FANTASY IS THAT?
149
00:07:00,319 --> 00:07:03,589
IT'S NOT. I'M JUST THINKING
ABOUT WHAT I HAVE IN MY GARAGE.
150
00:07:18,337 --> 00:07:19,439
HEY, HONEY.
151
00:07:19,539 --> 00:07:21,040
I'M HOME.
152
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,897
THANKS FOR HELPING ME
FIND THIS DOG, MAN.
153
00:07:44,997 --> 00:07:47,366
I'M NOT HERE TO HELP YOU.
I THINK THIS IS
A RIDICULOUS IDEA.
154
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,502
I'M HERE TO PROTECT YOU.
155
00:07:49,602 --> 00:07:51,304
PROTECT ME? FROM WHAT?
156
00:07:51,404 --> 00:07:53,473
I DON'T KNOW. YOU RUNNING
THROUGH THIS NEIGHBORHOOD
157
00:07:53,573 --> 00:07:55,575
WITH A CHOKE COLLAR
AND A LARGE BURLAP SACK,
158
00:07:55,675 --> 00:07:58,611
IT MAY JUST SEND UP A RED
FLAG TO SOME OF THESE FOLKS.
159
00:07:58,711 --> 00:08:02,515
WHY YOU DOING THIS ANYWAY?
YOU ALREADY GOT A JOB.
160
00:08:02,615 --> 00:08:05,084
EDDIE, I CAN'T WORK
IN A COPY SHOP FOREVER.
161
00:08:05,184 --> 00:08:08,421
YOU STARTED ON TUESDAY.
162
00:08:08,521 --> 00:08:09,822
SO, HOW'S IT GOING
WITH YOU AND JOY
163
00:08:09,922 --> 00:08:12,358
AND YOUR FREAKY-DEAKY
BEDROOM ANTICS?
164
00:08:12,458 --> 00:08:15,394
I GOTTA TELL YOU, IT IS--
YOU KNOW WHAT, KENNY?
165
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,597
IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
166
00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:19,632
OK.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL TELL YA.
167
00:08:19,732 --> 00:08:25,271
IT'S BEEN ABOUT WEEK NOW,
AND WE HAVE THE MOST
AMAZING SEX LIFE.
168
00:08:25,371 --> 00:08:28,007
I MEAN, NOT US.
OUR CHARACTERS DO.
169
00:08:28,107 --> 00:08:29,342
SOUNDS COOL TO ME, MAN.
170
00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:30,810
NO, DON'T YOU SEE.
IT'S NOT COOL.
171
00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:32,945
BECAUSE WE'VE COME
TO DEPEND ON IT.
172
00:08:33,045 --> 00:08:34,814
WE CAN'T GO BACK
TO THE WAY WE WERE.
173
00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:38,384
WHERE DOES IT END, MAN?
WHERE DOES IT END?
174
00:08:38,484 --> 00:08:40,586
WHERE DOES IT END?
IT ENDS WHERE ALL
SEXUAL ADVENTURES END?
175
00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:44,257
THAILAND. PUPPY ALERT!
PUPPY ALERT!
176
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:45,625
STOP THE CAR!
177
00:08:45,725 --> 00:08:47,126
IT'S THE MIDDLE
OF THE STREET.
178
00:08:47,226 --> 00:08:48,694
HOLD THAT. HOLD THAT.
179
00:08:48,794 --> 00:08:50,963
THERE'S PEOPLE--
180
00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:53,299
AAH! AAH!
181
00:08:53,399 --> 00:08:54,934
[GROWL]
182
00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:56,936
KENNY! KENNY!
183
00:08:57,036 --> 00:08:58,571
AAH!
184
00:08:58,671 --> 00:08:59,472
AAH!
185
00:08:59,572 --> 00:09:01,707
[GASPING]
186
00:09:01,807 --> 00:09:02,708
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
187
00:09:02,808 --> 00:09:05,411
THAT MAY HAVE BEEN THE CHEETAH.
188
00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:14,453
SO, I GUESS WE SHOULD
GO UP TO BED NOW, HUH?
189
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,188
YEP.
190
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:19,158
I GOT THE COSTUMES IN THE CAR.
191
00:09:19,258 --> 00:09:20,660
YOUR MESSAGE WAS A LITTLE FUZZY.
192
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:23,930
I COULDN'T TELL IF YOU WERE
SAYING UMPIRE OR VAMPIRE.
193
00:09:24,030 --> 00:09:28,067
SO, I--SO I GOT BOTH.
194
00:09:28,167 --> 00:09:30,436
YEAH, ON THAT. UM...
195
00:09:30,536 --> 00:09:32,538
YOU KNOW, I--
196
00:09:32,638 --> 00:09:36,275
DO YOU THINK THE COSTUMES
ARE LOSING THEIR KICK?
197
00:09:36,375 --> 00:09:37,777
YES. THANK YOU.
198
00:09:37,877 --> 00:09:39,679
I AM SO GLAD YOU SAID SOMETHING.
199
00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:41,113
ME TOO. ME TOO.
200
00:09:41,213 --> 00:09:42,982
I'M JUST GLAD WE'RE
ON THE SAME PAGE.
201
00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:44,517
YES. OF COURSE.
202
00:09:44,617 --> 00:09:48,287
SO--SO WHAT DO WE DO?
SHOULD WE GO BACK
BEING OURSELVES?
203
00:09:48,387 --> 00:09:50,323
OH, GOD NO!
204
00:09:52,558 --> 00:09:53,759
NO?
205
00:09:53,859 --> 00:09:55,394
NO. NO WAY. DON'T EVER
SAY THAT AGAIN.
206
00:09:55,494 --> 00:09:58,030
YOU SHUT YOUR FACE.
207
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:03,502
WELL, WHAT SHOULD WE DO?
208
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:06,639
WHAT DO YOU SAY
WE TAKE IT UP A NOTCH?
209
00:10:06,739 --> 00:10:12,945
WELL--LOOK IF YOU'RE
TALKING ABOUT YOUR
FRIEND LORI, I'M OPEN.
210
00:10:17,049 --> 00:10:17,950
NO.
NO!
211
00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:20,686
NO. HELLO, I'M KIDDING.
212
00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:23,522
NO, IT'S NOT--NO.
213
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:24,924
NO, I'M JUST SAYING,
214
00:10:25,024 --> 00:10:29,261
YOU KNOW, STAY WITH THE
ROLE-PLAYING FANTASY THING.
215
00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:32,965
BUT PERHAPS WE SHOULD TAKE
IT OUT OF THE HOUSE.
216
00:10:33,065 --> 00:10:36,035
AND TO LORI'S PLACE.
217
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:38,070
NO. NO.
218
00:10:38,170 --> 00:10:39,972
COME ON. DO YOU KNOW ME?
219
00:10:40,072 --> 00:10:41,440
STOP WITH THAT. OK?
220
00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:45,211
NO. MY FRIEND TOLD ME
THAT SHE AND HER HUSBAND
221
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:48,481
THEY WENT TO A BAR
AND THEY PRETENDED NOT
TO KNOW EACH OTHER.
222
00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:52,485
AND HE PICKED HER UP.
AND IT SOUNDED KINDA HOT.
223
00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:53,619
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
224
00:10:53,719 --> 00:10:55,254
OK. SO--SO WE GO SOMEWHERE.
225
00:10:55,354 --> 00:10:57,590
AND WE ACT LIKE WE DON'T EVEN
KNOW EACH OTHER.
226
00:10:57,690 --> 00:10:58,824
MM-HMM.
227
00:10:58,924 --> 00:11:01,193
THIS IS GOOD.
WE WILL--UH--TOMORROW NIGHT,
228
00:11:01,293 --> 00:11:04,463
WE WILL MEET
AT THE UPTOWN HOTEL.
229
00:11:04,563 --> 00:11:05,931
MMM.
AT THE BAR.
230
00:11:06,032 --> 00:11:08,868
AND I'LL BE WEARING
A PURPLE CARNATION.
231
00:11:08,968 --> 00:11:12,204
I KNOW WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE.
232
00:11:16,642 --> 00:11:18,077
{\an8}EDDIE WAS RIGHT.
233
00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:20,413
WHAT WAS I THINKING?
234
00:11:34,660 --> 00:11:36,328
HEY, MR. BUMPERS.
235
00:11:38,097 --> 00:11:41,567
SHOW ME THAT $1,000 SMILE.
236
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,062
HI.
237
00:12:10,162 --> 00:12:12,598
HI.
238
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:17,570
COME HERE OFTEN?
239
00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:20,206
REALLY?
240
00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:21,407
SORRY.
241
00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:24,810
I'M GONNA TAKE ANOTHER
RUN AT IT.
242
00:12:46,799 --> 00:12:48,134
GOOD EVENING.
243
00:12:49,869 --> 00:12:52,304
I'M A TRAVELING BUSINESSMAN,
244
00:12:52,404 --> 00:12:56,041
WHO CAME TO YOUR TOWN
245
00:12:56,142 --> 00:13:00,112
TO BUY A LARGE COMPANY.
246
00:13:00,212 --> 00:13:04,216
MY WORK IS FINANCIALLY
REWARDING.
247
00:13:04,316 --> 00:13:07,887
BUT ALAS EMOTIONALLY EMPTY.
248
00:13:09,688 --> 00:13:11,357
MAY I JOIN YOU?
249
00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:13,259
I DON'T THINK SO.
250
00:13:13,359 --> 00:13:15,261
ALL RIGHT.
251
00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:20,032
WAITING FOR SOME FRIENDS.
252
00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:21,934
PLAYING HARD TO GET,
ARE YOU?
253
00:13:22,034 --> 00:13:25,371
OH, I'M NOT PLAYING
ANYTHING MR...
254
00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:27,606
FUJIMOTO.
255
00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:33,679
TONY FUJIMOTO.
256
00:13:33,779 --> 00:13:34,613
TONY.
257
00:13:34,713 --> 00:13:37,049
WOW. THAT'S QUITE A NAME.
258
00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:38,851
QUITE A MAN.
259
00:13:38,951 --> 00:13:41,520
QUITE A MAN.
260
00:13:43,122 --> 00:13:44,590
CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK?
261
00:13:44,690 --> 00:13:47,927
WELL, I THINK I'M ALL RIGHT
FOR NOW. THANK YOU.
262
00:13:48,027 --> 00:13:51,697
Woman:
I'LL TAKE THAT DRINK.
263
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:56,502
WELL, WELL, WELL.
264
00:13:56,602 --> 00:13:59,972
THE FISH ARE BITING TONIGHT.
265
00:14:07,479 --> 00:14:09,081
TONY FUJIMOTO.
266
00:14:09,181 --> 00:14:13,953
MY FRIENDS CALL ME TO-FU.
267
00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:18,724
BARTENDER, ANOTHER ROUND
FOR THE LADY, PLEASE.
268
00:14:18,824 --> 00:14:20,426
I'M A TRAVELING BUSINESSMAN.
269
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:21,727
I HAVE COME TO YOUR TOWN
270
00:14:21,827 --> 00:14:24,496
TO PURCHASE A LARGE COMPANY.
271
00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:28,133
THANKS. LARRY, WAIT UP!
272
00:14:30,269 --> 00:14:31,837
SO, RYAN WAS IT?
273
00:14:31,937 --> 00:14:33,272
YEAH.
274
00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:35,341
HOW MANY YEARS DID YOU PLAY
PROFESSIONAL HOCKEY?
275
00:14:35,441 --> 00:14:37,877
THREE SEASONS
UNTIL I BLEW OUT MY KNEE.
276
00:14:37,977 --> 00:14:40,279
DID YOU EVER
GET INTO FIGHTS?
277
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:42,948
WELL, YOU TRY NOT TO.
BUT IT'S INEVITABLE.
278
00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:44,483
I TELL YA.
THERE'S NO BETTER FEELING
279
00:14:44,583 --> 00:14:49,021
THAN POUNDING SOMEONE AGAINST
THE BOARDS FOR 60 MINUTES.
280
00:14:49,121 --> 00:14:50,856
DO GO ON.
281
00:14:50,956 --> 00:14:54,126
YOU KNOW, BEING A D.A.
ISN'T THAT MUCH DIFFERENT
THAN PLAYING HOCKEY.
282
00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:55,728
IT'S THE SAME AGGRESSIVE
ATMOSPHERE,
283
00:14:55,828 --> 00:14:59,598
AND I'VE BEEN KNOWN TO THROW
A COUPLE OF ELBOWS
284
00:14:59,698 --> 00:15:01,233
WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING?
285
00:15:01,333 --> 00:15:04,169
UM, HELLO.
286
00:15:05,871 --> 00:15:07,039
CAN I HELP YOU?
287
00:15:07,139 --> 00:15:10,643
YEAH, I WAS JUST GONNA
TALK TO THE LADY.
288
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,711
OH, WELL, I'M KINDA TALKING
TO THE LADY NOW.
289
00:15:12,811 --> 00:15:15,014
SO WHY DON'T YOU MOVE ALONG.
290
00:15:15,114 --> 00:15:16,448
WOW.
291
00:15:16,548 --> 00:15:21,153
MAYBE THE LADY WANTS
YOU TO MOVE ALONG.
292
00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:22,388
JOY?
293
00:15:22,488 --> 00:15:24,356
NO, I'M GOOD.
294
00:15:26,158 --> 00:15:28,327
I'M SORRY.
DO YOU TWO KNOW EACH OTHER?
295
00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:31,130
YEAH, THIS IS TONY.
296
00:15:31,230 --> 00:15:34,700
TONY FUJIMOTO.
297
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:41,407
PRESIDENT AND C.E.O.
OF THE FUJIMOTO GROUP.
298
00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:44,643
ARE YOU TWO TOGETHER?
NO. NO. NO.
299
00:15:44,743 --> 00:15:48,447
FUNNY, I ACTUALLY USED
TO BE MARRIED TO A GUY
THAT LOOKED A LOT LIKE HIM.
300
00:15:48,547 --> 00:15:51,717
BUT SADLY HE DIED IN A FIRE.
301
00:15:53,852 --> 00:15:56,488
AND I USED TO BE MARRIED
TO A GIRL LIKE HER
302
00:15:56,588 --> 00:16:01,060
UNTIL WINE AND COOKIE
DOUGH DID HER IN.
303
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:04,964
LISTEN, JOY, I WOULD LOVE
TO TAKE YOU OUT
TO DINNER SOMETIME.
304
00:16:05,064 --> 00:16:07,066
CAN I GET YOUR PHONE NUMBER?
305
00:16:12,538 --> 00:16:13,772
[DOORBELL]
306
00:16:15,307 --> 00:16:18,811
OH, MY GOD! MR. BUMPERS.
HEY, EVERYONE. HE'S BACK!
307
00:16:18,911 --> 00:16:20,112
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
308
00:16:20,212 --> 00:16:21,714
OH, NO BIGGIE.
HAPPY TO HELP.
309
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,882
I KNEW HE'D COME BACK.
I JUST KNEW IT.
310
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,351
OH, TIMMY CAN YOU BELIEVE IT.
311
00:16:25,451 --> 00:16:28,153
THANK YOU MISTER.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
312
00:16:28,253 --> 00:16:30,789
OH, YOU'RE WELCOME,
SLUGGER.
313
00:16:30,889 --> 00:16:32,224
HE'S ADORABLE.
314
00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:35,094
WELL, AGAIN, WE'RE JUST
SO HAPPY TO HAVE HIM BACK.
315
00:16:35,194 --> 00:16:38,197
AND I'M HAPPY
TO BRING HIM BACK.
316
00:16:38,297 --> 00:16:40,566
UH, CAN I HUG HIM?
317
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:42,434
ABSOLUTELY.
318
00:16:42,534 --> 00:16:44,436
GIVE IT THERE, TIMMY.
GIVE IT THERE.
319
00:16:44,536 --> 00:16:47,673
YEAH. ALL RIGHT. OK.
ALL RIGHT.
320
00:16:49,708 --> 00:16:51,844
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE
WE CAN DO FOR YOU?
321
00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:55,748
WELL, LET'S JUST
TAKE A QUICK LOOK
AT THE CONTRACT--
322
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,950
I MEAN FLYER.
323
00:16:58,050 --> 00:16:59,852
OK. LET'S SEE HERE.
324
00:16:59,952 --> 00:17:04,456
WE'VE TAKEN CARE OF
THE LOST POODLE PART.
325
00:17:04,556 --> 00:17:07,926
THAT'S ALL DONE.
326
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,863
SO, ALL WE GOTTA DO
IS TAKE CARE OF--
327
00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:14,700
OH! THIS PART RIGHT HERE.
328
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,935
OH, THE REWARD.
329
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,571
YOU PUT $1,000 DOWN?!
330
00:17:19,671 --> 00:17:24,209
IS THAT WHAT IT WAS,
1,000?
331
00:17:24,309 --> 00:17:28,947
CAN'T PUT A PRICE
ON LOVE, BUT, UH, YOU DID.
332
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,316
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
333
00:17:35,854 --> 00:17:39,324
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GAVE HIM
YOUR PHONE NUMBER.
334
00:17:39,425 --> 00:17:42,394
IT WAS A FAKE NUMBER.
335
00:17:42,494 --> 00:17:44,763
BUT IT WAS A NUMBER.
336
00:17:44,863 --> 00:17:47,533
IT WAS OUR DENTIST'S NUMBER.
337
00:17:47,633 --> 00:17:50,436
OH, SO HOW DO YOU KNOW
HIS NUMBER BY HEART, HUH?
338
00:17:50,536 --> 00:17:51,870
ARE YOU IN TO HIM, TOO?
339
00:17:51,970 --> 00:17:53,739
ARE YOU DOING SOMETHING
ON THE SIDE WITH DR. SIEGELMAN?
340
00:17:53,839 --> 00:17:57,509
OK. YOU STARTED IT
BY OFFERING THAT
OTHER GIRL A DRINK.
341
00:17:57,609 --> 00:17:59,778
THAT'S BECAUSE
YOU TURNED ME DOWN.
342
00:17:59,878 --> 00:18:01,580
I WANTED YOU TO WORK FOR IT.
343
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:05,584
I WASN'T COMING THERE TO WORK.
I CAME THERE TO GET SOME.
344
00:18:05,684 --> 00:18:09,288
YEAH. AND YOU'RE GONNA.
'CAUSE THIS WHOLE THING
KINDA WORKED FOR ME.
345
00:18:09,388 --> 00:18:10,589
SO LET'S GO UPSTAIRS.
346
00:18:10,689 --> 00:18:12,791
NO. NO. NO. I'M NOT GOING
UPSTAIRS WITH YOU.
347
00:18:12,891 --> 00:18:14,026
WHY NOT?
348
00:18:14,126 --> 00:18:17,029
BECAUSE YOU'LL
JUST BE THINKING ABOUT RYAN.
349
00:18:17,129 --> 00:18:20,966
SO? ISN'T THAT
WHAT WE BOTH HAVE BEEN
DOING THIS WHOLE TIME?
350
00:18:21,066 --> 00:18:25,270
NO. IT IS NOT.
WE HAVE BEEN PRETENDING
TO BE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS.
351
00:18:25,370 --> 00:18:28,841
LIKE VAMPIRES
AND CATHOLIC SCHOOL GIRLS
352
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:32,444
AND FAST FOOD MASCOTS.
353
00:18:33,612 --> 00:18:34,947
THAT WAS A GOOD ONE.
354
00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:37,983
RYAN IS OUT THERE.
AND HE IS REAL.
355
00:18:38,083 --> 00:18:41,487
AND HE HAS
OUR DENTIST'S NUMBER.
356
00:18:41,587 --> 00:18:44,623
I'M NEVER GONNA SEE
RYAN AGAIN.
357
00:18:44,723 --> 00:18:47,226
OK. YOU KNOW WHAT?
THAT'S NOT THE POINT, JOY.
358
00:18:47,326 --> 00:18:49,728
THAT'S NOT THE POINT.
359
00:18:49,828 --> 00:18:52,397
IT'S JUST THAT IF WE
WERE REALLY AT THAT BAR
360
00:18:52,498 --> 00:18:56,902
AND WE WERE TOTAL STRANGERS
AND YOU MET ME AND RYAN,
361
00:18:57,002 --> 00:18:59,671
I NEVER WOULD HAVE HAD A SHOT.
362
00:18:59,771 --> 00:19:02,441
NO, I MEAN. COME ON,
YOU DON'T THINK I DATED
GUYS LIKE RYAN?
363
00:19:02,541 --> 00:19:04,209
THEY'RE A DIME A DOZEN.
364
00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:10,149
I CHOSE YOU BECAUSE
OF ALL THE THINGS
I LOVE ABOUT YOU.
365
00:19:10,249 --> 00:19:12,117
LIKE WHAT?
366
00:19:15,254 --> 00:19:18,924
DON'T MAKE ME SAY IT.
YOU KNOW.
367
00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:23,362
I MAY.
368
00:19:23,462 --> 00:19:27,299
IT'S ALWAYS NICE TO HEAR IT.
369
00:19:27,399 --> 00:19:30,969
OK. YOU'RE SWEET.
370
00:19:31,069 --> 00:19:32,871
AND YOU'RE FUNNY.
371
00:19:32,971 --> 00:19:34,606
AND CUTE?
372
00:19:34,706 --> 00:19:36,642
YOU'RE VERY CUTE.
373
00:19:38,710 --> 00:19:40,579
HEY, I GOT AN IDEA.
374
00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:45,184
WHY DON'T WE JUST
BE OURSELVES TONIGHT.
375
00:19:45,284 --> 00:19:46,785
I WILL BE A TRAVEL AGENT.
376
00:19:46,885 --> 00:19:51,423
AND YOU WILL BE
A HIGH SCHOOL
HISTORY TEACHER.
377
00:19:51,523 --> 00:19:52,925
OH, YEAH?
378
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,426
MM-HMM. OH YEAH.
379
00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:55,527
DOES THAT DO IT FOR YOU?
380
00:19:55,627 --> 00:19:56,795
OH, YEAH SURE DOES.
381
00:19:56,895 --> 00:19:59,364
WELL, I DON'T MEAN TO BRAG.
382
00:19:59,464 --> 00:20:02,901
BUT I PULL DOWN
A LOW 5-FIGURE SALARY
383
00:20:03,001 --> 00:20:09,975
WITH A MANDATORY 1.5 PERCENT
INCREASE EVERY 7 YEARS.
384
00:20:10,075 --> 00:20:16,381
WELL, I DRIVE A TAURUS
WITH 120,000 MILES ON IT.
385
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:23,121
I ATE A SANDWICH YESTERDAY
THAT I FOUND ON A TABLE.
386
00:20:30,362 --> 00:20:34,533
I HAVEN'T READ A BOOK
IN 12 YEARS.
387
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:38,604
I FORGOT HOW TO DIVIDE.
388
00:20:38,704 --> 00:20:44,109
WANT TO GO UPSTAIRS AND HAVE
REALLY ORDINARY SEX?
389
00:20:44,209 --> 00:20:48,413
YES. PREPARE
TO BE UNDERWHELMED.
390
00:20:51,817 --> 00:20:57,556
996, 997, 998.
391
00:21:01,593 --> 00:21:05,831
{\an8}I THINK THERE'S A FEW MORE
DOLLARS IN HERE, DADDY.
392
00:21:13,772 --> 00:21:17,042
{\an8}5, 6, 7, 8...
393
00:21:17,142 --> 00:21:20,612
{\an8}THAT'S IT. THAT'S IT!
I QUIT! THAT'S IT!
394
00:21:20,712 --> 00:21:22,781
{\an8}ENOUGH! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
395
00:21:22,881 --> 00:21:25,317
{\an8}KEEP YOUR MONEY
AND KEEP YOUR DOG.
396
00:21:25,417 --> 00:21:29,588
{\an8}WHY DO YOU PEOPLE HAVE
TO BE SO DAMN ADORABLE?!
397
00:21:31,923 --> 00:21:33,358
{\an8}[CHEERING]
30054
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