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1
00:00:01,634 --> 00:00:02,669
(JINGLE PLAYING)
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00:00:29,429 --> 00:00:32,532
JOY: 'Til Death
is filmed in front of
a live studio audience.
3
00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:35,135
{\an8}Welcome to Starlight Theaters.
4
00:00:35,235 --> 00:00:37,270
{\an8}Please feel free to
visit our wine bar
5
00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:40,373
{\an8}and here's our menu
so you can peruse
our dining options.
6
00:00:40,473 --> 00:00:42,776
{\an8}Hey, I'll order the food, you
go save some seats for us.
7
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:45,378
{\an8}No need to, my friend,
our seats are reserved.
8
00:00:45,478 --> 00:00:47,747
{\an8}You're in 13, I'm in 15.
9
00:00:47,847 --> 00:00:49,282
{\an8}Who's in 14?
10
00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:52,919
{\an8}Nobody.
That's our "we're not gay"
buffer seat.
11
00:00:53,019 --> 00:00:55,555
{\an8}ANNOUNCER ON PA:
Death Plus One
starring Jet Li,
12
00:00:55,655 --> 00:00:59,459
{\an8}Forest Whitaker and
Amanda Bynes, will be
starting in five minutes.
13
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:02,395
{\an8}All right, that's us.
I'm gonna hit the can.
Get us a large popcorn.
14
00:01:02,495 --> 00:01:03,630
{\an8}Okay.
15
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,265
{\an8}(FLUSHING)
16
00:01:11,137 --> 00:01:14,174
{\an8}ANNOUNCER ON TV: Coming soon
to Starlight Theaters...
17
00:01:14,274 --> 00:01:15,542
{\an8}CHILD 1: Grandma!
We're here!
18
00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:17,811
{\an8}GRANDMA: Well, hello children!
19
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:19,946
{\an8}CHILD 2: Tra, la, la, la...
20
00:01:20,046 --> 00:01:23,983
{\an8}BOTH: La, la, la, la, la.
21
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,518
{\an8}CHILD 1: Let's go
in the attic!
22
00:01:25,618 --> 00:01:27,654
{\an8}CHILD 2: But Grandma said
never to go up there.
23
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:29,355
{\an8}What? Are you chicken?
24
00:01:29,456 --> 00:01:31,291
{\an8}No.
25
00:01:31,391 --> 00:01:33,927
{\an8}Don't go up there, children.
Listen to your nana.
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00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:35,061
{\an8}(DOOR CREAKING)
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00:01:35,161 --> 00:01:36,596
{\an8}CHILD 2: Look,
I found my old dolly.
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00:01:36,696 --> 00:01:38,565
{\an8}(CHILDREN SCREAMING)
29
00:01:41,534 --> 00:01:45,138
{\an8}ANNOUNCER: Grandma's Attic.
Don't go up there.
30
00:01:45,238 --> 00:01:46,806
{\an8}This Christmas.
31
00:01:46,906 --> 00:01:49,976
{\an8}Visit our web site at
Grandmasatticthemovie.com.
32
00:02:01,521 --> 00:02:03,123
{\an8}I'm Spider-Man.
33
00:02:18,771 --> 00:02:20,306
{\an8}I'm Spider-Man.
34
00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:33,153
Well, I'm pretty sure
that my pee just turned
on a flat-screen TV.
35
00:02:33,253 --> 00:02:35,955
I'll tell you,
a world where my penis
is a remote control
36
00:02:36,055 --> 00:02:38,525
is a world that
I want to live in.
37
00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:39,859
So, where's the food?
38
00:02:39,959 --> 00:02:41,127
Yeah, change of plans, man.
39
00:02:41,227 --> 00:02:43,329
We're out of here.
This place is racist.
40
00:02:43,429 --> 00:02:44,664
What? What happened?
41
00:02:44,764 --> 00:02:46,466
I'm in the front of the line,
waiting to place my order
42
00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:48,201
and the cashier skips
right over me
43
00:02:48,301 --> 00:02:50,370
to help some white guy
on line behind me.
44
00:02:50,470 --> 00:02:51,538
Really?
45
00:02:51,638 --> 00:02:53,606
(SCOFFS) Looked
right through me
like I was a ghost.
46
00:02:53,706 --> 00:02:56,009
But not a white
ghost, she would've
served a white ghost.
47
00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:57,110
Let's get out
of here, man.
48
00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:58,678
No, no, no, no.
There's no way.
49
00:02:58,778 --> 00:03:00,313
I'm not gonna let them
treat you like that.
50
00:03:00,413 --> 00:03:03,082
Excuse me, we'd like to
see a manager, please.
51
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:05,418
I'm the manager.
Is there a problem?
52
00:03:05,518 --> 00:03:08,354
Yes, there is a problem.
There has been
a racial incident.
53
00:03:08,454 --> 00:03:10,190
You've got a problem with him,
54
00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:12,091
you've got a problem
with your staff and now,
you've got a problem with me.
55
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:13,159
Tell him what happened,
Kenny.
56
00:03:13,259 --> 00:03:14,661
I'm first in line at
the concession stand...
57
00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:17,096
Customer number one!
58
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,531
There's a white guy
standing in line behind me...
59
00:03:18,631 --> 00:03:20,266
White as banjo music!
60
00:03:23,136 --> 00:03:24,971
And that lady
right there asked
what I wanted.
61
00:03:25,071 --> 00:03:26,673
And I said,
"I am not sure."
62
00:03:26,773 --> 00:03:28,374
He was not sure!
63
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,280
So I looked at the menu
for a minute,
64
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:36,082
trying to figure out
what I wanted to eat,
65
00:03:36,182 --> 00:03:38,017
the cashier lady
skips right over me
66
00:03:38,117 --> 00:03:40,954
to help this white guy,
sitting right there.
67
00:03:47,260 --> 00:03:49,062
Well, I do apologize.
68
00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:51,264
But seeing as how
you actually weren't
ready to order
69
00:03:51,364 --> 00:03:55,735
and the gentleman
behind you clearly
has trouble standing up,
70
00:03:55,835 --> 00:03:58,504
I'm just wondering
if it was truly racism
71
00:03:58,605 --> 00:04:01,374
or maybe,
just perhaps, bad service.
72
00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:10,250
You know what?
I think you
might be right.
73
00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:14,487
It was bad service.
400 years of bad service!
74
00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:19,892
We are never coming in here
again, because this place
is racist. Right, Eddie?
75
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:25,398
(HESITANTLY)
We out this bitch.
76
00:04:37,176 --> 00:04:39,779
Oh, good. You're home.
Come on, let's go.
77
00:04:39,879 --> 00:04:41,614
I am so excited about
this new movie theater.
78
00:04:41,714 --> 00:04:45,918
I was just on their web site
and they have a wine bar.
79
00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:48,821
They actually
let you take it
into the theater.
80
00:04:48,921 --> 00:04:50,757
They encourage it.
81
00:04:50,857 --> 00:04:54,294
I mean, I don't have
to smuggle in my magic
sippy cup anymore, Eddie!
82
00:04:54,394 --> 00:04:56,763
This is my day.
This is my day!
83
00:04:57,563 --> 00:04:58,965
Yeah, about that.
84
00:04:59,065 --> 00:04:59,866
We can't go there.
85
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:01,434
What?
Ever.
86
00:05:01,534 --> 00:05:02,402
What? Why?
87
00:05:02,502 --> 00:05:04,270
Well, I was there with
Kenny this afternoon
88
00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:08,541
and there was a pretty
ugly racial incident.
89
00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:11,377
Oh, God.
Did you call him Rerun again?
90
00:05:13,613 --> 00:05:15,581
He calls me
Jewish Bigfoot!
91
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:19,619
No, it wasn't
between me and him.
92
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:21,454
What happened?
93
00:05:21,554 --> 00:05:23,089
All right. Well, Kenny was
in line to get us some food
94
00:05:23,189 --> 00:05:25,258
and he wasn't sure
what he wanted to order,
95
00:05:25,358 --> 00:05:27,260
so the cashier
skipped over him
96
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:30,063
and went to the
white guy behind him.
97
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,799
It was unconscionable!
98
00:05:34,701 --> 00:05:37,704
Okay, but he wasn't
ready to order.
99
00:05:37,804 --> 00:05:40,440
I've been to restaurants
with Kenny. He does
take a long time.
100
00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:43,443
I gotta be honest,
it doesn't sound
racist to me.
101
00:05:44,444 --> 00:05:46,512
I know!
102
00:05:46,612 --> 00:05:50,383
It's clearly not racist!
Not even a little bit!
103
00:05:50,483 --> 00:05:52,251
I mean, he didn't
know what he wanted,
104
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:55,321
the guy behind him was
1000 years old!
105
00:05:55,421 --> 00:05:57,757
There were dozens
of black people
there being served
106
00:05:57,857 --> 00:06:00,126
delicious paninis
without incident!
107
00:06:00,226 --> 00:06:04,497
It was like Dr. King's
dream over there.
108
00:06:04,597 --> 00:06:07,734
Okay, so what
I'm hearing is Kenny
thought it was something.
109
00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:09,435
It wasn't.
110
00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:11,571
And I think you
just said they had
paninis, so let's go.
111
00:06:11,671 --> 00:06:14,207
No, no, no,
you don't understand, Joy,
I cannot go back there.
112
00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:15,775
I don't understand
why you can't go back.
113
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:18,111
You just admitted
that it wasn't racist.
114
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:20,446
To you, not to him!
115
00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:23,816
I stuck up for him pretty big
over there, Joy.
116
00:06:23,916 --> 00:06:26,886
I mean, I was
calling over managers,
I was dressing them down.
117
00:06:26,986 --> 00:06:29,489
I think I even called
someone a honky.
118
00:06:31,791 --> 00:06:33,426
I can't believe this.
119
00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:36,095
This movie theater
is five minutes away.
It's brand new!
120
00:06:36,195 --> 00:06:37,797
I know, but look, honey,
we can still go out.
121
00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:41,534
We'll just go
to the theater next
to the karate studio.
122
00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:43,269
No.
123
00:06:45,538 --> 00:06:48,040
I can't go back to
drinking purse wine.
124
00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:54,147
I wanna be classy! Let
me get drunk at the movies
with dignity! Please!
125
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,048
No, listen.
Come on, honey,
126
00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:58,117
that other theater's
not that bad.
127
00:06:58,217 --> 00:07:02,321
The Board of Health blew
up their hot dog machine.
128
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:06,392
Come on. You just gotta
tell Kenny that this
wasn't racist and end this.
129
00:07:06,492 --> 00:07:08,327
Okay, Joy, look,
maybe you have forgotten,
130
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:12,198
but under this freakishly
dark but natural tan,
131
00:07:13,065 --> 00:07:15,568
I'm actually white.
132
00:07:15,668 --> 00:07:17,870
So I can't go over to
my black friend's house,
133
00:07:17,970 --> 00:07:20,306
and tell him what is
and is not racist.
134
00:07:20,406 --> 00:07:22,108
But it wasn't.
But he's black.
135
00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:23,342
But it...
Black.
136
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,377
But...
137
00:07:24,477 --> 00:07:25,845
But, but, but, but!
138
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:29,682
Listen, please.
I can't do this.
139
00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:32,852
If Kenny is a really
good friend of yours,
and I know that he is,
140
00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:34,754
you can just be
honest with him.
141
00:07:34,854 --> 00:07:36,055
I mean,
what are you gonna do?
142
00:07:36,155 --> 00:07:39,225
You gonna tiptoe around him
the rest of your life?
143
00:07:40,259 --> 00:07:41,627
All right!
144
00:07:41,727 --> 00:07:43,663
Okay...
145
00:07:43,763 --> 00:07:45,064
You know what? You're right.
146
00:07:45,164 --> 00:07:47,233
I'm just worried
about being offensive.
147
00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:50,269
Since when are you worried
about being offensive?
148
00:07:50,369 --> 00:07:51,637
Last week you said
149
00:07:51,737 --> 00:07:55,007
I looked like
Weird Al Yankovic from behind.
150
00:07:55,107 --> 00:07:57,310
That man has beautiful hair
and a tiny ass,
151
00:07:57,410 --> 00:08:01,180
so learn how to
take a compliment.
152
00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:03,616
(AMERICAN IDOL THEME
PLAYING ON TV)
153
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,788
Let me ask you guys
a question, man.
154
00:08:08,888 --> 00:08:11,290
How come, on Idol,
when they kick a guy off,
155
00:08:11,390 --> 00:08:13,659
they always make him sing
one more song before they go?
156
00:08:13,759 --> 00:08:17,563
{\an8}(CHUCKLING)
Where else in life
does this happen?
157
00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:19,799
You don't fire a kid
from a fast food joint
and tell him,
158
00:08:19,899 --> 00:08:21,934
"Hey, Dave,
I know I just fired you,
159
00:08:22,034 --> 00:08:24,370
"I need you to get
back in that kitchen,
put on that apron
160
00:08:24,470 --> 00:08:26,205
"and fry me one more burger
before you go."
161
00:08:26,305 --> 00:08:28,241
{\an8}(ALL LAUGHING)
What the hell?
162
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:31,611
And then they make
this poor chump sing
the same song
163
00:08:31,711 --> 00:08:34,947
that got him kicked off
in the first place.
164
00:08:35,047 --> 00:08:38,751
They're like, "Yeah, that
song you sang was so
horrible and embarrassing,
165
00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:40,386
"we never want
to see you again.
166
00:08:40,486 --> 00:08:42,388
"But before we kick
your ass out,
167
00:08:42,488 --> 00:08:43,823
"why don't you sing
it one more time,
168
00:08:43,923 --> 00:08:46,058
"while the rest of these
people fake cry behind you?"
169
00:08:46,158 --> 00:08:47,693
(ALL LAUGHING)
170
00:08:47,793 --> 00:08:49,228
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
171
00:08:49,328 --> 00:08:50,897
(SHOUTS) Who is it?
172
00:08:56,235 --> 00:08:57,803
Hey, how are you?
173
00:08:57,904 --> 00:09:01,073
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't know you were
having a meeting.
174
00:09:01,173 --> 00:09:02,675
I can, uh,
175
00:09:03,943 --> 00:09:04,944
come back another time.
176
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:07,847
No, that's okay, Eddie.
What brings you by?
177
00:09:08,314 --> 00:09:09,615
Well, I...
178
00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:12,018
Wait, this is Eddie?
This is the dude.
179
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:13,786
What you did in
that theater, man.
180
00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:15,988
Very cool.
It was?
181
00:09:16,088 --> 00:09:17,356
Real cool.
182
00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:19,926
Well, you all right.
183
00:09:20,026 --> 00:09:22,762
(ALL LAUGHING)
184
00:09:26,265 --> 00:09:27,800
I am all right.
185
00:09:29,936 --> 00:09:31,404
Have a seat, man.
Okay.
186
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:33,039
I'm gonna get you a beer.
Oh, great, thank you.
187
00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:35,875
Hey, Kenny. We should
invite him to dinner
tomorrow night.
188
00:09:35,975 --> 00:09:37,710
How do you feel about
chicken and waffles?
189
00:09:37,810 --> 00:09:39,178
At the same restaurant?
190
00:09:39,278 --> 00:09:41,080
On the same plate.
191
00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:42,682
Shut up.
192
00:09:50,189 --> 00:09:51,591
(GRUNTS)
193
00:09:51,691 --> 00:09:53,893
This theater
is disgusting.
194
00:09:58,397 --> 00:10:02,735
Oh, stop complaining.
You're gonna be drunk
in a few minutes, anyway.
195
00:10:03,202 --> 00:10:04,337
Hey!
196
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,541
Uh, there's
a person here!
197
00:10:10,076 --> 00:10:11,944
I can't believe
you chickened out with Kenny.
198
00:10:12,044 --> 00:10:15,348
I didn't chicken out.
What happened in that
theater was very, very wrong.
199
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:16,716
{\an8}(SIGHS)
But you know what?
Quite frankly,
200
00:10:16,816 --> 00:10:20,453
I don't expect a white girl
like you to understand.
201
00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:22,555
Yeah? What I do understand
is you're a wuss.
202
00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:24,857
And something is
licking my ankle!
203
00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:27,393
Listen, Joy,
what happened was wrong.
204
00:10:27,493 --> 00:10:28,361
All right, look,
don't take my word for it.
205
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:29,795
Let's go to a man
on the street.
206
00:10:29,895 --> 00:10:31,731
Please don't,
please don't, please.
207
00:10:31,831 --> 00:10:34,166
Excuse me, sir.
208
00:10:34,266 --> 00:10:37,370
Hi. I couldn't help
noticing that you're black.
209
00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:40,206
What?
210
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:42,642
No, no, no, no,
I just was wondering
211
00:10:42,742 --> 00:10:44,977
if you can answer
a race-related question
for me.
212
00:10:45,077 --> 00:10:46,045
(EXHALES)
213
00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:47,713
Oh, so because I'm black,
214
00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:49,915
you think I speak
for all black people?
215
00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:53,052
No, don't get that way.
I love you guys.
216
00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:54,453
"You guys"?
217
00:10:55,688 --> 00:10:58,124
I think we're
done talking now.
218
00:10:58,224 --> 00:10:59,358
Okay.
219
00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:03,162
That went well.
220
00:11:03,262 --> 00:11:06,265
I don't need him.
I got tons of black friends.
221
00:11:07,466 --> 00:11:09,135
You are unbelievable.
222
00:11:09,235 --> 00:11:10,102
(EXCLAIMS)
223
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,874
Oh, God,
I spilled my wine.
224
00:11:22,181 --> 00:11:23,883
Worst date I ever had.
225
00:11:23,983 --> 00:11:29,255
That includes the time that
I accidentally answered
my uncle's personal ad.
226
00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:30,823
Come on,
it wasn't that bad.
227
00:11:30,923 --> 00:11:33,759
Eddie, I sat
on a syringe.
228
00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:38,330
It wasn't a syringe,
it was a rusty spring and
it barely broke the skin.
229
00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:41,300
Look, I'll tell you
what, call your doctor,
set up your tetanus shot
230
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:44,804
and I'll meet you upstairs
for a little nookie-nookie.
231
00:11:44,904 --> 00:11:45,938
Come here.
What?
232
00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:47,940
Come here. No nookie!
233
00:11:49,408 --> 00:11:51,610
Okay, look,
the place is awful.
I know.
234
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:55,548
We gotta figure out a way
to get to that new theater.
But we can't be seen there.
235
00:11:55,648 --> 00:11:58,784
I mean, we can't go back
as Joy and Eddie Stark.
236
00:11:59,518 --> 00:12:00,920
But
237
00:12:01,020 --> 00:12:05,825
we could go as Vickie
and Marcel Charboneaux.
238
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:09,161
I'll go grab my eye patch.
239
00:12:09,261 --> 00:12:10,963
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
240
00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:13,265
Hey, we just wanted
to make sure
you guys were okay.
241
00:12:13,365 --> 00:12:16,102
Yeah, we heard
the police raided
that theater by my dojo.
242
00:12:16,202 --> 00:12:20,239
Yeah, turns out it's not the
box office making the money.
243
00:12:20,339 --> 00:12:23,008
It's one pretty magical
men's room stall.
244
00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:36,322
It is such a shame
you guys can't come
to the new place.
245
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:39,992
It really is incredible.
The bathrooms,
fully automated.
246
00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:42,595
I didn't have
to touch anything
except myself.
247
00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:46,065
Maybe you could
stick to that rule
while you're in here.
248
00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:53,239
I don't know why
you don't just explain
to Kenny how you feel.
249
00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:55,207
Well, I tried
talking to him,
250
00:12:55,307 --> 00:12:58,344
but then I got over there
and realized I'm not
any good at talking.
251
00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:01,013
I'm not a chick.
252
00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:04,016
You know,
sometimes it helps
if you try role playing.
253
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:06,752
Why don't you practice on me
and pretend I'm Kenny.
254
00:13:06,852 --> 00:13:08,888
Kenny who?
Kenny Rogers?
255
00:13:11,023 --> 00:13:13,626
Because you couldn't
be any whiter.
256
00:13:13,726 --> 00:13:16,896
It's role playing, Eddie.
It's gonna help you say
what you want to say
257
00:13:16,996 --> 00:13:19,999
in a friendly,
non-confrontational
environment.
258
00:13:20,099 --> 00:13:21,233
All right, fine.
259
00:13:21,333 --> 00:13:22,701
Great. Okay.
260
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,040
Hello, Eddie.
261
00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:29,942
Hello, Kenny.
262
00:13:34,046 --> 00:13:36,715
Was there maybe something
you wanted to say to me?
263
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,851
Not really.
Come on, Eddie!
264
00:13:38,951 --> 00:13:41,921
All right, all right,
fine. Look...
265
00:13:42,021 --> 00:13:45,457
Kenny, I wanted to tell you
that I'm not entirely sure
266
00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:49,862
that what happened
at the movie theater
was racist.
267
00:13:49,962 --> 00:13:52,631
Wow, I know how hard it was
for you to say that
268
00:13:52,731 --> 00:13:54,900
and I appreciate
your honesty.
269
00:13:56,902 --> 00:14:00,439
And I appreciate yours.
This is going pretty well.
270
00:14:04,076 --> 00:14:06,545
Now, let me
ask you a question.
271
00:14:06,645 --> 00:14:08,447
What makes you think,
as a white man,
272
00:14:08,547 --> 00:14:11,817
you have any idea
what I go through
as a black man?
273
00:14:17,256 --> 00:14:19,491
What?
274
00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:22,428
Have you ever been pulled over
even though you're driving
under the speed limit?
275
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:24,029
You ever been followed
around a store,
276
00:14:24,129 --> 00:14:26,165
'cause a security guard
thinks you stole something?
277
00:14:26,265 --> 00:14:28,167
You ever get weird looks
when you walk
into a restaurant
278
00:14:28,267 --> 00:14:30,035
with your white wife? Huh?
279
00:14:30,135 --> 00:14:33,572
That's right! Is this making
you uncomfortable, huh?
280
00:14:35,074 --> 00:14:37,977
Uh, it's making me
pretty uncomfortable.
281
00:14:38,944 --> 00:14:41,413
Okay, you guys
should probably go.
282
00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:50,289
Did you take
the newspaper
out of the john?
283
00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:52,324
Because I was just stuck
for the last 20 minutes
284
00:14:52,424 --> 00:14:54,760
reading the back
of your dental floss.
285
00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:57,630
Just looking at all the movies
I'll never be able to see.
286
00:14:57,730 --> 00:15:00,032
So, listen, I'm gonna go to
the chicken and waffles place
287
00:15:00,132 --> 00:15:02,001
and meet up with Kenny
and the other guys, all right?
288
00:15:02,101 --> 00:15:05,571
(SIGHING) Okay.
Have fun. Order fast.
289
00:15:05,671 --> 00:15:06,705
I'd hate for them
to skip over you
290
00:15:06,805 --> 00:15:08,073
and take the black guy's order
291
00:15:08,173 --> 00:15:09,475
and cause
a big "racial incident."
292
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:11,644
Okay. All right.
Very funny.
293
00:15:13,545 --> 00:15:15,948
Oh, my God, that's it!
294
00:15:16,048 --> 00:15:20,219
When I'm there, I'll take
forever to order and then
they'll skip over me
295
00:15:20,319 --> 00:15:23,822
in the same way that they
skipped over Kenny when he
was at the movie theater
296
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:26,091
and then he'll realize,
this happens everywhere.
297
00:15:26,191 --> 00:15:28,460
Boom, problem solved!
298
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:30,829
Hmm. Good luck with that.
299
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,264
I'm telling you, Joy-Joy,
this is gonna work.
300
00:15:32,364 --> 00:15:33,599
You know what
I want you to do?
301
00:15:33,699 --> 00:15:35,267
I want you to slap
on some makeup,
302
00:15:35,367 --> 00:15:38,037
put on a bra and
I am taking my lady
to the movies tonight!
303
00:15:38,137 --> 00:15:39,838
I'm wearing a bra.
304
00:15:43,509 --> 00:15:44,543
Sorry.
305
00:15:49,882 --> 00:15:52,084
Welcome to Mabel's
Chicken and Waffles.
May I take your order?
306
00:15:52,184 --> 00:15:53,152
Chicken and waffles.
307
00:15:53,252 --> 00:15:55,187
Chicken and waffles.
308
00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:57,256
Welcome to Mabel's
Chicken and Waffles.
May I take your order?
309
00:15:57,356 --> 00:15:58,324
Chicken and waffles.
310
00:15:58,424 --> 00:16:00,259
Chicken and waffles.
311
00:16:00,359 --> 00:16:03,662
Welcome to Mabel's
Chicken and Waffles.
May I take your order?
312
00:16:03,762 --> 00:16:06,932
I do not know...
313
00:16:07,032 --> 00:16:11,437
I do not know...
314
00:16:11,537 --> 00:16:13,505
You know, this is probably
gonna be a little
frustrating on you,
315
00:16:13,605 --> 00:16:15,941
because I just...
It just...
It's gonna be hard.
316
00:16:16,041 --> 00:16:17,443
Yeah, it is.
317
00:16:17,543 --> 00:16:21,413
It's just that I think we all
need to roll up our sleeves
318
00:16:21,513 --> 00:16:26,185
and just get down
to the serious business
of what to eat.
319
00:16:28,253 --> 00:16:30,389
Gosh, it all looks
delicious. It does.
320
00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:32,925
You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna go out
on a limb here
321
00:16:33,025 --> 00:16:36,095
and take a shot
at the giblets.
322
00:16:36,195 --> 00:16:37,329
Giblet plate.
323
00:16:37,429 --> 00:16:38,597
No, you know what?
Cancel that.
324
00:16:38,697 --> 00:16:39,465
Not gonna do the giblets.
325
00:16:39,565 --> 00:16:42,101
Cancel giblet.
326
00:16:42,201 --> 00:16:46,171
What can you tell me
about the potato salad?
327
00:16:46,271 --> 00:16:47,973
Well, we parboil
red potatoes,
328
00:16:48,073 --> 00:16:50,309
we dice them and toss them
with tarragon, mayonnaise,
329
00:16:50,409 --> 00:16:53,679
Dijon mustard and just a
kiss of apple cider vinegar.
330
00:16:54,646 --> 00:16:55,714
Nah.
331
00:16:58,050 --> 00:17:00,185
This must be
excruciating
for you, huh?
332
00:17:00,285 --> 00:17:03,055
No, you take as long
as you need, baby.
333
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:05,858
Well, you're a...
334
00:17:05,958 --> 00:17:09,795
You're a frustratingly
patient person.
335
00:17:09,895 --> 00:17:14,633
You really are.
This must be driving
you crazy, huh?
336
00:17:14,733 --> 00:17:17,469
(CHUCKLES) Anybody? No?
337
00:17:17,569 --> 00:17:19,138
Just take your time.
338
00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:23,809
Okay, what the hell
is going on here?
339
00:17:23,909 --> 00:17:24,843
How could you
put up with this?
340
00:17:24,910 --> 00:17:26,912
Why aren't you
skipping over me?
341
00:17:27,012 --> 00:17:28,147
Because you were next,
darling.
342
00:17:28,247 --> 00:17:31,183
No. I know that
I was next, dear,
343
00:17:31,283 --> 00:17:33,719
but when someone takes
this long to order,
344
00:17:33,819 --> 00:17:37,890
you have the right to go
to the person behind him!
345
00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:39,658
What is going on,
big man?
346
00:17:39,758 --> 00:17:42,428
You getting a little
freaky-deaky up in here?
347
00:17:42,528 --> 00:17:46,165
No, all right, look...
All right, Kenny,
348
00:17:46,265 --> 00:17:48,367
I was trying to
get skipped over,
349
00:17:48,467 --> 00:17:50,402
so I could show you
that what happened
350
00:17:50,502 --> 00:17:53,405
at the movie theater
the other day
happens everywhere.
351
00:17:53,505 --> 00:17:56,108
It was not
a personal attack on you.
352
00:17:56,208 --> 00:17:57,309
The hell it wasn't!
353
00:17:57,409 --> 00:17:59,445
No, listen to me.
It wasn't.
354
00:17:59,545 --> 00:18:02,281
What happened to you
was not racist!
355
00:18:05,851 --> 00:18:08,687
And I hate saying
that to you,
356
00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:13,625
especially here.
357
00:18:13,725 --> 00:18:17,596
Oh, so now the white guy
is telling the black guy
what is and isn't racist, huh?
358
00:18:17,696 --> 00:18:19,264
What? No. I mean...
359
00:18:19,364 --> 00:18:22,301
Look, I know it appears
that way because I'm white
360
00:18:22,401 --> 00:18:25,971
and you're black
and I'm telling you
what's racist, but...
361
00:18:27,339 --> 00:18:30,876
But the fact remains,
Kenny, that...
362
00:18:30,976 --> 00:18:33,645
You take a long time
to order.
363
00:18:33,745 --> 00:18:37,983
Okay? And somebody just
got sick and tired of
having to wait for you.
364
00:18:38,083 --> 00:18:44,456
So she skipped over you
to the guy behind you, who
just happened to be white.
365
00:18:44,556 --> 00:18:47,960
You have no idea
what black people
go through, do you?
366
00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:50,796
You know what?
You're right. I don't.
367
00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:56,568
But I know what it's like
to stand behind you in line
when you order.
368
00:18:56,668 --> 00:19:02,341
And it may not be 400 years,
but it surely seems like it.
369
00:19:02,441 --> 00:19:04,109
You know what, man?
I thought you were
my friend, man.
370
00:19:04,209 --> 00:19:06,111
I thought you had
my back on all this.
371
00:19:06,211 --> 00:19:08,347
(SCOFFS) Do you
believe this guy?
372
00:19:11,517 --> 00:19:15,220
You do take a long
time to order, Kenny.
373
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:16,955
I've wanted to bring
it up for years, man,
374
00:19:17,055 --> 00:19:19,124
I just didn't know
how to tell you.
375
00:19:19,224 --> 00:19:21,260
We're hungry,
too, Kenny!
376
00:19:22,861 --> 00:19:25,030
Oh, I get it. I get it.
377
00:19:25,697 --> 00:19:26,965
Uh-huh.
378
00:19:27,065 --> 00:19:29,034
So, all you guys
agree on this, huh?
379
00:19:29,134 --> 00:19:30,769
Everybody agrees
on this, huh?
380
00:19:30,869 --> 00:19:34,006
Hmm? The black guys,
the white guy,
381
00:19:34,106 --> 00:19:37,042
the Asian guy sitting
back there in the corner.
382
00:19:37,142 --> 00:19:39,678
That's right,
I see you back there.
383
00:19:43,415 --> 00:19:47,119
Let me tell you something.
This ends right now.
384
00:19:51,823 --> 00:19:53,358
(CLEARS THROAT)
385
00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:06,071
I will have chicken and...
386
00:20:07,673 --> 00:20:08,874
(EXHALES)
387
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:16,882
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
388
00:20:40,105 --> 00:20:41,473
Waffles.
389
00:20:43,008 --> 00:20:44,843
Chicken and waffles.
390
00:20:51,483 --> 00:20:53,685
Ah! It's good
to be back.
391
00:20:53,785 --> 00:20:55,587
Oh, that it is.
392
00:20:56,321 --> 00:20:58,190
I'll grab the food.
393
00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:02,160
{\an8}Hi. I just...
394
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:04,563
{\an8}I wanted to apologize
for the other day.
395
00:21:04,663 --> 00:21:07,065
{\an8}I think that things
got kind of blown
out of proportion
396
00:21:07,165 --> 00:21:09,835
{\an8}and I hope you didn't get
in trouble with your manager.
397
00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:11,303
{\an8}Don't worry about it.
398
00:21:11,403 --> 00:21:14,273
{\an8}You're very sweet
and I sure hope
you'll forgive me.
399
00:21:14,373 --> 00:21:17,376
{\an8}Of course. I don't have
a problem with you.
400
00:21:17,476 --> 00:21:19,878
{\an8}My problem is
with the coloreds.
401
00:21:24,449 --> 00:21:27,886
{\an8}Kenny, we're out of here!
Let's go! Come on.
33432
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