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1
00:00:02,035 --> 00:00:03,503
I like Christian.
2
00:00:03,603 --> 00:00:06,673
Um, he likes to play
with my hair all the time.
3
00:00:06,773 --> 00:00:09,843
I think it's because
his mom has long blond hair.
4
00:00:09,943 --> 00:00:12,145
I think I'm a substitute
for his mother.
5
00:00:12,245 --> 00:00:14,447
I'm not getting married,
and I don't like anyone,
6
00:00:14,547 --> 00:00:15,782
and I never will.
7
00:00:15,882 --> 00:00:17,017
♪ All right!
8
00:00:17,117 --> 00:00:19,185
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! ♪
9
00:00:22,088 --> 00:00:25,925
{\an8}Well, I'm just saying
I understand why the horseshoe
is lucky.
10
00:00:27,894 --> 00:00:30,163
{\an8}But I'm confused
about the rainbow.
11
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:34,667
{\an8}Well, I mean, I guess
you're lucky if you see one,
12
00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:38,038
{\an8}but a rainbow
in and of itself,
not lucky.
13
00:00:40,607 --> 00:00:42,742
{\an8}Oh, that's nice.
14
00:00:42,842 --> 00:00:44,978
{\an8}Well, then don't put
a number on the box
15
00:00:45,078 --> 00:00:47,113
{\an8}if you don't want
to hear my comments.
16
00:00:49,449 --> 00:00:51,885
{\an8}Eddie, it is your first day
of summer vacation.
17
00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:54,020
{\an8}Go back to sleep,
lie diagonal,
18
00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:58,224
{\an8}feel the thrill
of having your whole body
on a bed for once.
19
00:00:58,324 --> 00:01:00,193
{\an8}You know
I hate summer vacation.
20
00:01:00,293 --> 00:01:01,795
{\an8}Oh! Here we go.
No, no.
21
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:04,497
{\an8}It's got no structure,
no purpose,
22
00:01:04,597 --> 00:01:06,533
{\an8}and daylight savings
is relentless.
23
00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:08,635
{\an8}The sun is still up
at 9 p.m.
24
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:10,770
{\an8}I feel so awkward drinking.
25
00:01:15,542 --> 00:01:16,709
{\an8}That's why I drink
in the basement.
26
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:18,978
{\an8}Nobody knows
what time it is.
27
00:01:21,147 --> 00:01:22,182
{\an8}Think of me.
28
00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:23,516
{\an8}Hey!
Hey!
29
00:01:23,616 --> 00:01:25,185
{\an8}Hey! There she is.
30
00:01:25,285 --> 00:01:26,820
{\an8}What are... Look at you.
Hi, baby.
31
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,922
{\an8}Hi, honey. Oh, my gosh.
Hi, Dad.
32
00:01:29,022 --> 00:01:32,025
{\an8}I thought freshman girls
were supposed to gain
15 pounds.
33
00:01:32,125 --> 00:01:34,194
{\an8}I know.
I drink a ton of rum
every night,
34
00:01:34,294 --> 00:01:36,296
{\an8}but nothing.
35
00:01:36,396 --> 00:01:37,864
{\an8}This is such a surprise.
36
00:01:37,964 --> 00:01:39,599
{\an8}I thought you were gonna
take the train tomorrow.
37
00:01:39,699 --> 00:01:43,303
{\an8}Oh, I was,
but I caught a ride home
with Doug.
38
00:01:43,403 --> 00:01:46,206
{\an8}Hey, hey, Mr. Stark,
Mrs. Stark.
39
00:01:46,306 --> 00:01:48,074
{\an8}I thought you two broke up.
40
00:01:48,174 --> 00:01:49,742
{\an8}Oh, we did,
but we got back together
in the van
41
00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:51,511
{\an8}on the ride home.
42
00:01:54,380 --> 00:01:56,549
{\an8}Fantastic.
43
00:01:56,649 --> 00:01:59,986
{\an8}I think Allison and I
will always be
those kind of lovers.
44
00:02:00,086 --> 00:02:03,123
{\an8}You know,
we love each other.
45
00:02:03,223 --> 00:02:06,292
{\an8}Then we go away,
and we love other people,
46
00:02:06,392 --> 00:02:10,029
{\an8}and we come back
to love each other again.
47
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,699
{\an8}Doug, I'm about
to break your hands.
48
00:02:13,666 --> 00:02:15,435
{\an8}I'm sorry.
49
00:02:15,535 --> 00:02:16,870
{\an8}I have to go to work, honey.
You're not pregnant, right?
50
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:17,937
{\an8}No.
Okay. Great.
51
00:02:18,037 --> 00:02:21,207
{\an8}I love you.
Bye.
52
00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:24,811
{\an8}Anyway, Daddy,
Doug is having a problem
with his van,
53
00:02:24,911 --> 00:02:28,248
and I was sort of thinking
that maybe he could stay here
54
00:02:28,348 --> 00:02:30,216
until the part
that he needs arrives.
55
00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:31,851
And how long
would that be?
56
00:02:31,951 --> 00:02:33,686
Seven to 12 business days.
57
00:02:33,786 --> 00:02:35,488
Oh, no, no.
That's a no-go, Doug.
58
00:02:35,588 --> 00:02:37,690
You see, because
there are barely enough
toilets in here
59
00:02:37,790 --> 00:02:39,559
to accommodate me.
60
00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:42,829
Well, actually, sir,
I was gonna stay
outside in the van,
61
00:02:42,929 --> 00:02:44,797
and as far as
the facilities go,
62
00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:46,432
I eat very clean,
63
00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:50,670
so I metabolize about 93%
of what enters my body orally.
64
00:02:51,571 --> 00:02:53,006
You know?
65
00:02:57,243 --> 00:03:00,680
I'm not even gonna ask
how you measure that.
66
00:03:00,780 --> 00:03:01,881
Well, I could teach you,
67
00:03:01,981 --> 00:03:05,251
if you have some baggies
and a postal scale. Huh?
68
00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:08,221
No, Doug.
Will you wait for us outside?
69
00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:09,822
What are you... What...
70
00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:11,691
Daddy, please.
71
00:03:11,791 --> 00:03:13,893
He'll sleep in the van,
and I'll be in here,
72
00:03:13,993 --> 00:03:15,662
and we'll just hang out.
73
00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:17,063
I promise.
74
00:03:17,163 --> 00:03:19,365
You won't even know
he's here.
75
00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:25,805
Fine!
Yes.
76
00:03:25,905 --> 00:03:27,974
Uh, I couldn't help
but overhear
the good news.
77
00:03:28,074 --> 00:03:29,442
Thank you, sir.
78
00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:33,746
Um, do you have
a three-pronged outlet
for my heat lamp?
79
00:03:33,846 --> 00:03:35,982
I got, like,
some chickens outside
80
00:03:36,082 --> 00:03:38,585
that are three days away
from hatching.
81
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:44,257
{\an8}♪
82
00:03:44,257 --> 00:03:44,290
{\an8}♪ A
83
00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:44,324
{\an8}♪ All
84
00:03:44,324 --> 00:03:44,357
{\an8}♪ All r
85
00:03:44,357 --> 00:03:44,390
{\an8}♪ All rig
86
00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:44,424
{\an8}♪ All right
87
00:03:44,424 --> 00:03:44,457
{\an8}♪ All right!
88
00:03:45,258 --> 00:03:46,326
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! ♪
89
00:03:46,426 --> 00:03:48,261
Good morning.
90
00:03:48,361 --> 00:03:51,030
Sweetie,
you're on summer vacation.
91
00:03:51,130 --> 00:03:53,466
Why are you still dressed
like a vice-principal?
92
00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:57,203
Well, I still have
a lot of forms to fill out,
93
00:03:57,303 --> 00:04:00,506
and the uniform keeps me
on my game.
94
00:04:00,607 --> 00:04:05,178
But I am paying homage
to summer by sporting
a thinner sock.
95
00:04:05,278 --> 00:04:08,314
Hey, sweetie, look,
I know you're working
on your thesis,
96
00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:09,616
but would you mind
if I use your desk
97
00:04:09,716 --> 00:04:11,451
for, like, 10 minutes
this morning?
98
00:04:11,551 --> 00:04:12,719
Desk?
99
00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:16,122
Yeah. Your desk
in the living room.
100
00:04:16,222 --> 00:04:18,324
Oh. You mean
my puzzle table?
101
00:04:20,526 --> 00:04:22,895
Sweetie, we, uh...
We bought you that desk
102
00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:24,330
so you could
work on your thesis
103
00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:26,499
about the French Revolution,
remember?
104
00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:28,768
Oh, yeah, yeah,
right, right.
Yeah. I know.
105
00:04:28,868 --> 00:04:32,205
It turns out I don't
really get my best work done
at the desk per se.
106
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:35,041
It's all yours.
107
00:04:35,141 --> 00:04:36,209
Okay.
108
00:04:36,309 --> 00:04:37,677
Where you going?
109
00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:40,346
I'm going back to bed.
110
00:04:40,446 --> 00:04:42,148
You sick?
No, I'm fine.
111
00:04:42,248 --> 00:04:45,652
Sometimes, I go back to sleep
after you leave for work.
112
00:04:47,153 --> 00:04:49,155
Really?
Yeah.
113
00:04:49,255 --> 00:04:51,357
You get up early, dude.
114
00:05:02,001 --> 00:05:04,270
Thank you.
Looks delicious.
115
00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:07,540
Oh, yeah.
Doug makes the best blended
infused teas.
116
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,409
Yeah.
The secret is fresh mint.
117
00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:11,878
I grow my own
right on the dashboard.
118
00:05:12,945 --> 00:05:14,314
Hey.
119
00:05:14,414 --> 00:05:16,582
Hey, Jeff.
Hey, Allison.
120
00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:17,750
Friend.
121
00:05:18,518 --> 00:05:21,087
What's going on, honey?
122
00:05:21,187 --> 00:05:23,790
Mmm. I was just about
to start my walk
123
00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:26,726
when I heard
this really intense
whirring sound.
124
00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:30,963
You know I can't say no
to anything that comes out
of a blender.
125
00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:33,666
Yeah. Hey, do you
126
00:05:33,766 --> 00:05:36,436
plan on getting
any work done today, or...
127
00:05:36,536 --> 00:05:37,970
Oh, I am working.
128
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:40,139
This is part of my process.
129
00:05:40,239 --> 00:05:41,407
In 19th century Paris,
130
00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:43,276
the bohemian lifestyle
was a direct result
131
00:05:43,376 --> 00:05:46,979
of the disenchantment
with the ruling class.
132
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,882
This drink is way too thick
for the straw.
133
00:05:52,151 --> 00:05:53,519
What's wrong?
134
00:05:53,619 --> 00:05:56,222
Oh, oh, nothing.
It's just...
135
00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:57,690
You know, sweetie,
on the surface,
136
00:05:57,790 --> 00:06:02,328
this doesn't really
look like a traditional
academic setting.
137
00:06:02,428 --> 00:06:05,164
This actually looks more
like a bunch of lazy people
138
00:06:05,264 --> 00:06:07,600
living outside of a van.
139
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:09,669
But, hey, hey,
what do I know, right?
140
00:06:09,769 --> 00:06:12,004
{\an8}(SHUSHING)
Hey!
141
00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:13,473
What are you doing?
It's cool, man.
142
00:06:13,573 --> 00:06:15,508
Just give in to my touch.
143
00:06:15,608 --> 00:06:16,743
No!
144
00:06:18,578 --> 00:06:19,679
No.
145
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,749
No!
146
00:06:22,849 --> 00:06:24,183
I got to go.
147
00:06:26,452 --> 00:06:28,988
Wow. Your gay brother's
really uptight.
148
00:06:36,562 --> 00:06:38,030
What happened?
149
00:06:41,267 --> 00:06:43,035
Your Dad cut the juice.
150
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:44,537
Not cool.
151
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:47,373
I'll go talk to him.
152
00:06:47,473 --> 00:06:48,908
No, no, no.
I'll talk to him.
153
00:06:49,008 --> 00:06:52,145
I sense
we had a pretty strong
spiritual connection.
154
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:54,580
I don't think you do.
155
00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:56,182
You know what? Let me.
156
00:06:56,282 --> 00:06:57,950
I'm pretty good
at conflict resolution.
157
00:06:58,050 --> 00:07:01,187
I watch, like, three hours
of judge shows a day.
158
00:07:03,790 --> 00:07:05,324
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
159
00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:07,894
Hey, Eddie.
160
00:07:10,062 --> 00:07:13,666
I was wondering if you might
plug our blender back in.
161
00:07:13,766 --> 00:07:15,168
How about no?
162
00:07:16,702 --> 00:07:18,738
Look. I know you're
probably upset
163
00:07:18,838 --> 00:07:21,841
that Allison has taken
a lover with a van.
164
00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:24,277
But I got to tell you,
165
00:07:24,377 --> 00:07:27,980
I've been with a lot of guys
in a lot of vans,
166
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:30,683
and that one's
actually pretty nice.
167
00:07:31,918 --> 00:07:34,153
We get it.
You're a dirty girl.
168
00:07:37,590 --> 00:07:41,260
All I am saying is,
Doug's a great guy.
169
00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:42,995
Allison's happy.
170
00:07:43,095 --> 00:07:45,264
You must remember
what it was like to be young
171
00:07:45,364 --> 00:07:47,166
and in love in the summer.
172
00:07:47,266 --> 00:07:49,235
Well, I do have
one nice memory
173
00:07:49,335 --> 00:07:52,638
of Joy and me
at a water park in 1982.
174
00:07:52,738 --> 00:07:55,274
She lost her tube top
going down the Splash-alanche.
175
00:07:55,374 --> 00:07:57,376
There you go.
176
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,412
Come outside.
Have a drink with us.
177
00:07:59,512 --> 00:08:00,580
It's summertime.
178
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:01,614
I hate summertime.
179
00:08:01,714 --> 00:08:03,282
Maybe you should
just try to relax.
180
00:08:03,382 --> 00:08:04,417
No.
Why not?
181
00:08:04,517 --> 00:08:07,053
Because I don't know how.
182
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:10,056
Okay? Is that
what you want to hear?
183
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:12,124
I don't know how to relax.
184
00:08:13,292 --> 00:08:14,627
Now, please,
185
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:17,230
just leave me alone.
186
00:08:18,631 --> 00:08:22,268
You know what?
I can't do that.
187
00:08:22,368 --> 00:08:26,305
Because I know that inside
that mean and hairy man
188
00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:34,247
is a slightly less mean
but just as hairy little boy
189
00:08:39,552 --> 00:08:41,988
who wants to
come outside and play.
190
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,893
Come outside and play,
little Eddie.
191
00:08:58,571 --> 00:09:01,407
Okay. Good. Good.
192
00:09:01,507 --> 00:09:03,276
Okay. Now.
193
00:09:04,577 --> 00:09:06,646
I'm gonna plug
this back in.
194
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:08,514
Okay?
195
00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:12,285
(BLENDER WHIRRING)
196
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,753
DOUG: Yes!
ALLISON: That's it, baby.
197
00:09:13,853 --> 00:09:15,288
(ALLISON AND DOUG LAUGHING)
198
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,390
Now, you're gonna
take my hand,
199
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:20,192
and we're gonna go outside.
200
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:22,261
But I'm not wearing shoes.
201
00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:25,831
Where we're going
202
00:09:25,932 --> 00:09:27,833
you don't need shoes.
203
00:09:29,669 --> 00:09:31,837
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)
204
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:06,238
What is that,
some kind of marinade?
205
00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:08,240
It's a Brazilian dry rub.
206
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:11,677
Uh-huh.
207
00:10:24,390 --> 00:10:25,758
Skynyrd.
208
00:10:26,759 --> 00:10:28,728
I love Lynyrd Skynyrd.
209
00:10:29,996 --> 00:10:31,063
They're like Zeppelin for
210
00:10:31,163 --> 00:10:32,898
rednecks.
Rednecks.
211
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:38,204
Yes.
212
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:53,452
High beams, man,
high beams!
213
00:10:54,754 --> 00:10:56,922
(EDDIE CONTINUES
PLAYING DRUMS)
214
00:11:04,130 --> 00:11:05,197
Morning!
215
00:11:05,297 --> 00:11:06,365
(GASPS)
216
00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:10,770
If they've eaten
all my French bread pizza,
217
00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:13,205
someone's going to hell
on a rocket!
218
00:11:13,973 --> 00:11:15,541
Son of a...
219
00:11:15,641 --> 00:11:19,378
I did not know that
you could brush your teeth
with dirt.
220
00:11:20,746 --> 00:11:22,214
Hey, sunshine.
221
00:11:25,785 --> 00:11:27,520
Eddie.
Yeah?
222
00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:30,690
What happened in here?
223
00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:35,327
Well, I have to say
this does look a lot messier
than it did in the dark.
224
00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:37,496
But, listen,
I do not want you
to lift a finger
225
00:11:37,596 --> 00:11:39,799
because I'm gonna
hit this really hard
226
00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:41,400
in, like, seven hours.
227
00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:42,768
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Careful.
228
00:11:42,868 --> 00:11:45,104
You're about to
walk into pudding.
229
00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:46,872
All right.
I'm gonna have to crash.
230
00:11:46,972 --> 00:11:49,008
Night-night, everybody.
231
00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:53,813
Sweetie.
232
00:11:53,913 --> 00:11:56,449
Hey, I haven't had a chance
to catch up with you
since you got home.
233
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:57,950
Do you want to have
a little cup of coffee
with me
234
00:11:58,050 --> 00:11:59,085
before I go to work?
Yeah.
235
00:11:59,185 --> 00:12:01,020
That'd be great.
All right.
236
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,189
Okay. So, freshman year.
237
00:12:03,289 --> 00:12:05,391
I want you to
tell me everything.
238
00:12:05,491 --> 00:12:08,160
I want to know
who's sleeping
with their professor.
239
00:12:08,260 --> 00:12:10,996
I want to know
which girls you hate.
240
00:12:11,097 --> 00:12:12,465
Tell me.
241
00:12:17,870 --> 00:12:19,538
Okay.
242
00:12:19,638 --> 00:12:21,874
Okay. That was good.
Good talk.
243
00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:24,110
Yeah. Good talk.
244
00:12:27,813 --> 00:12:29,615
And I'm in pudding.
245
00:12:39,024 --> 00:12:41,894
Okay. Fire on the lawn.
This can't be legal.
246
00:12:43,529 --> 00:12:45,030
No disrespect, Mrs. Stark,
247
00:12:45,131 --> 00:12:47,800
but fire was here
long before man's laws.
248
00:12:49,802 --> 00:12:51,971
Come on, Mom. Sit down,
grab a couch cushion.
249
00:12:52,071 --> 00:12:55,207
Oh, my God!
My couch cushion!
250
00:12:55,307 --> 00:12:58,110
Hey, maybe we should
play Joy her song.
251
00:12:58,210 --> 00:12:59,311
Yeah.
Oh! You've written a song.
252
00:12:59,411 --> 00:13:00,312
Yeah.
Okay.
253
00:13:00,412 --> 00:13:02,548
It's called Shalamar.
Great.
254
00:13:02,648 --> 00:13:05,851
It's about fiery woman
named Joy
255
00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:08,821
and her fiery horse
Shalamar.
256
00:13:12,091 --> 00:13:14,026
All right.
Hit it, Doug-mo.
257
00:13:17,263 --> 00:13:20,533
♪ It was a sad
and lonely sunset
258
00:13:22,034 --> 00:13:24,637
♪ A whisper of a star
259
00:13:24,737 --> 00:13:28,407
♪ There was a fiery woman
named Joy
260
00:13:28,507 --> 00:13:30,609
♪ And her fiery horse named
261
00:13:30,709 --> 00:13:32,945
ALL: ♪ Shalamar ♪
262
00:13:33,779 --> 00:13:35,848
Doug-mo!
263
00:13:35,948 --> 00:13:38,284
(BEAT IMITATING
HORSE GALLOPING)
264
00:13:41,587 --> 00:13:43,589
Okay, okay.
265
00:13:43,689 --> 00:13:46,392
Okay.
That was very touching.
266
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,027
Also very loud.
267
00:13:49,094 --> 00:13:51,130
I am starving, okay?
268
00:13:51,230 --> 00:13:52,865
I haven't eaten anything
all day, so come on.
269
00:13:52,965 --> 00:13:54,533
Let's go have dinner,
everybody.
270
00:13:54,633 --> 00:13:55,734
Oh. You know what?
271
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,204
We had lunch at,
like, 5 p.m.
272
00:13:58,304 --> 00:14:00,906
Hey. Hey. Guess what?
I had couscous.
273
00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:03,075
FYI, it's not rice.
274
00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:04,844
It's tiny pasta.
275
00:14:04,944 --> 00:14:06,478
And there's some more
if you want some.
276
00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:08,080
There should be some
on the counter.
277
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:10,049
It has cranberries in it.
278
00:14:10,916 --> 00:14:13,953
♪ Cranberries
279
00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:17,056
ALL: ♪ Cranberries
280
00:14:17,156 --> 00:14:20,359
♪ I got cranberries
at the store
281
00:14:20,459 --> 00:14:23,529
♪ Made couscous at 4:00
282
00:14:23,629 --> 00:14:26,432
♪ I hope
I haven't lost you
283
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:30,502
♪ It's teeny, tiny pasta
284
00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:32,571
(EDDIE AND DOUG PLAYING)
285
00:14:32,671 --> 00:14:36,275
♪ Cranberries
286
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:38,444
♪ Well,
you know your pasta ♪
287
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:41,447
Hey. Hold on.
Is anyone writing
this down?
288
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:44,683
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
289
00:14:44,783 --> 00:14:45,985
Yeah?
290
00:14:46,085 --> 00:14:47,887
Hey, Jeff.
Hey, Joy.
291
00:14:47,987 --> 00:14:50,956
Listen, apparently,
Steph and Eddie
and the kids
292
00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:54,927
aren't gonna be eating dinner
till sometime
tomorrow morning.
293
00:14:55,027 --> 00:14:56,795
The only thing left
in my kitchen
294
00:14:56,896 --> 00:15:00,266
is the five packets
of soy sauce
that came with the house.
295
00:15:00,366 --> 00:15:03,369
So I was wondering
if I could join you.
296
00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:05,070
Oh, yeah, please.
Okay.
297
00:15:05,170 --> 00:15:06,472
I haven't had a meal
with another adult
298
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:10,609
since my wife started behaving
like she lives in Spain.
299
00:15:10,709 --> 00:15:13,412
I know, it's just...
It's crazy, right?
I'm not the only one.
300
00:15:13,512 --> 00:15:16,115
I mean,
I wanted Eddie to
enjoy the summer,
301
00:15:16,215 --> 00:15:17,683
but this is just annoying.
302
00:15:17,783 --> 00:15:21,053
He's walking around
with this strange look
on his face.
303
00:15:21,153 --> 00:15:23,889
His lips are curled up,
and you can see his teeth.
304
00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:25,658
I don't know.
305
00:15:26,692 --> 00:15:28,127
He's smiling?
306
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:30,562
Yeah.
307
00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:31,864
(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)
308
00:15:31,964 --> 00:15:34,400
Well, at least Eddie
will go back to work.
309
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:36,035
You know,
I'm starting realize
310
00:15:36,135 --> 00:15:39,204
that Steph
doesn't do anything
and she never has.
311
00:15:39,305 --> 00:15:40,906
It's like
all she does is sleep
312
00:15:41,006 --> 00:15:43,375
and look at
the VW website.
313
00:15:43,475 --> 00:15:46,946
She has built
her own Jetta 147 times.
314
00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:50,916
You know what
the worst part about it is?
315
00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:53,285
I can't get that song
Shalamar out of my head.
316
00:15:53,385 --> 00:15:56,121
Oh, right.
That song about me
and my horse?
317
00:16:02,261 --> 00:16:04,863
They told me that
Shalamar was my horse.
318
00:16:06,498 --> 00:16:08,500
Oh, that really sucks!
319
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:12,938
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
320
00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:20,179
Hey.
Hey, brother man.
321
00:16:21,447 --> 00:16:23,215
Is Steph around?
322
00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:25,384
Because the gang
wants to play Frisbee golf
around the neighborhood.
323
00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:26,885
I'm sorry, Eddie,
324
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:29,021
but Steph cannot come out
and play today.
325
00:16:29,121 --> 00:16:30,489
Wow!
326
00:16:30,589 --> 00:16:32,791
Captain Bringdown
has spoken.
327
00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:34,626
It's summertime.
328
00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:36,962
Come on. Lighten up.
329
00:16:37,062 --> 00:16:40,899
No, you know,
she's got $68,000
in student loans,
330
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,502
and so far,
the only thing she's written
in her thesis is,
331
00:16:43,602 --> 00:16:45,637
"The French Revolution was..."
332
00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:48,273
And then there's a doodle
of some kind of space man.
333
00:16:48,374 --> 00:16:50,042
Well, so what?
I mean, come on.
334
00:16:50,142 --> 00:16:52,578
What do you really think
her earning potential is
anyway?
335
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:54,880
I really can't imagine
The History
of the Powdered Wig
336
00:16:54,980 --> 00:16:56,181
By Steph Woodcock
337
00:16:56,281 --> 00:16:59,351
flying off the shelves
like Harry Potter.
338
00:16:59,451 --> 00:17:01,387
It's not about
the money, Eddie.
339
00:17:01,487 --> 00:17:03,422
She's got to learn
to finish what she starts.
340
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:04,690
Oh, okay. I get it.
341
00:17:04,790 --> 00:17:07,192
So you're everyone's
vice-principal.
342
00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:08,494
Hey. That's not fair.
343
00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:10,729
All right. Well, listen.
I'm gonna tell you something.
344
00:17:10,829 --> 00:17:12,664
You may find this
hard to believe,
345
00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:16,168
but you and I,
we're pretty similar.
346
00:17:16,268 --> 00:17:17,970
Of course, you're shorter,
girlie-voiced,
347
00:17:18,070 --> 00:17:21,940
and you have
the tiniest little hands
I've ever seen on a man.
348
00:17:24,643 --> 00:17:25,978
What was the similar part?
349
00:17:26,078 --> 00:17:27,246
Okay.
350
00:17:27,346 --> 00:17:30,049
You and I,
we're both pretty uptight,
you know,
351
00:17:30,149 --> 00:17:31,583
tightly wound.
352
00:17:31,683 --> 00:17:34,753
I mean, before,
I wasn't even able to
enjoy summer vacation.
353
00:17:34,853 --> 00:17:36,188
But after Steph came over,
354
00:17:36,288 --> 00:17:40,059
I'm twirlin' around
on a hilltop
like Julie Andrews.
355
00:17:40,159 --> 00:17:44,196
Listen, my point is,
you don't want
to change that girl.
356
00:17:44,296 --> 00:17:45,697
She's good for you.
357
00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:47,633
She might not be ambitious,
358
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,968
but she's fun and spirited.
359
00:17:51,203 --> 00:17:52,738
And you're not.
360
00:17:54,940 --> 00:17:56,742
Okay, think about it.
361
00:17:58,577 --> 00:18:00,579
(DOOR CLOSING)
362
00:18:00,679 --> 00:18:03,682
Legend has it
he died in the cornfield,
363
00:18:03,782 --> 00:18:08,287
but some people say
he survived
that silo explosion.
364
00:18:08,387 --> 00:18:12,157
I even heard a rumor
that he settled down
around these parts
365
00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:14,893
on a street
very much like this,
366
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:19,031
and every year
around this time,
367
00:18:19,131 --> 00:18:21,300
he comes back,
368
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:23,302
looking for a warm fire
369
00:18:23,402 --> 00:18:24,670
and wondering,
370
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:27,272
{\an8}(ALL SCREAMING)
"Who took my hand?"
371
00:18:27,372 --> 00:18:29,741
Okay. You got me.
You got me.
372
00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:31,910
Good one. Good one.
373
00:18:32,010 --> 00:18:33,045
JOY: Hello.
374
00:18:33,145 --> 00:18:34,413
Oh, hey.
375
00:18:34,513 --> 00:18:36,782
Jeff, what the hell
are you doing here?
376
00:18:36,882 --> 00:18:39,384
I mean, I thought
we both agreed
that this was ridiculous.
377
00:18:39,485 --> 00:18:42,020
Well, it was
until I had a birch beer
378
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,723
and heard a ghost story.
379
00:18:44,823 --> 00:18:46,692
Hey, Doug,
do your thing.
380
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:48,894
Just give in to my touch,
let your shoulders breathe.
381
00:18:48,994 --> 00:18:51,697
All right.
Back off, Doug.
382
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:54,166
Why do you bring
anger here, Joy?
383
00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:57,102
Why do I bring anger here?
384
00:18:57,202 --> 00:19:00,906
Eddie, I have been
killing myself
at work every day
385
00:19:01,006 --> 00:19:03,842
while you all have been
doing drum circles
386
00:19:03,942 --> 00:19:07,179
and eating couscous
with cranberries.
387
00:19:07,279 --> 00:19:08,614
♪ Cranberries ♪
388
00:19:12,417 --> 00:19:13,952
All right.
389
00:19:14,953 --> 00:19:17,456
Wait a minute.
This is what you wanted.
390
00:19:17,556 --> 00:19:18,657
You wanted me
to have fun.
391
00:19:18,757 --> 00:19:21,059
I know,
but it's not fair.
392
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,095
I mean, I have had
to go to work,
393
00:19:23,195 --> 00:19:25,664
and it is hard enough
without having to pass by
a production of Hair
394
00:19:25,764 --> 00:19:27,366
every time to do it.
395
00:19:28,534 --> 00:19:30,002
I'm jealous, okay?
396
00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:31,103
So join us.
397
00:19:31,203 --> 00:19:33,272
I have a job. I can't.
398
00:19:33,372 --> 00:19:34,273
Says who?
399
00:19:34,373 --> 00:19:36,909
Says the three banks
who own our house.
400
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,043
Uh-huh.
401
00:19:38,143 --> 00:19:39,978
Listen to me.
402
00:19:40,078 --> 00:19:43,649
Summer vacation is
a state of mind, Joy.
403
00:19:43,749 --> 00:19:45,584
Come on.
It's just one night.
404
00:19:45,684 --> 00:19:47,553
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
405
00:19:47,653 --> 00:19:49,655
Do not pick up that phone.
406
00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:50,722
Don't do it.
407
00:19:50,822 --> 00:19:52,758
Come on. It's Friday.
408
00:19:54,159 --> 00:19:55,594
It's Tuesday.
409
00:20:02,134 --> 00:20:03,936
(RINGING CONTINUES)
410
00:20:04,903 --> 00:20:06,238
You serious?
411
00:20:07,139 --> 00:20:08,540
Mom, no. Don't answer it.
412
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:10,075
We want you to
hang out with us.
413
00:20:10,175 --> 00:20:11,476
Joy, come on.
Come on.
414
00:20:11,577 --> 00:20:12,878
(ALL CLAMORING)
415
00:20:12,978 --> 00:20:15,547
Listen. Listen.
Listen to me.
416
00:20:15,647 --> 00:20:19,051
Do you remember
quite a few summers ago
417
00:20:19,151 --> 00:20:22,287
when you lost your tube top
at Splash-alanche?
418
00:20:23,455 --> 00:20:24,656
Huh?
419
00:20:24,756 --> 00:20:27,025
Good times.
Yeah.
420
00:20:27,125 --> 00:20:31,196
I want you to lose
your tube top tonight.
421
00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:37,236
Right here in front
of the kids?
422
00:20:37,336 --> 00:20:38,870
Metaphorically.
423
00:20:39,871 --> 00:20:42,207
And then maybe later
literally.
424
00:20:45,177 --> 00:20:47,479
All right.
I'm on summer vacation,
damn it.
425
00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:48,680
Okay.
426
00:20:48,780 --> 00:20:50,682
Yay!
What...
427
00:20:50,782 --> 00:20:53,785
The battery's not
gonna explode, is it?
428
00:20:53,885 --> 00:20:55,621
I don't know. Maybe.
Come on.
429
00:20:55,721 --> 00:20:58,523
Pour me some sangria
and teach me the words
to Shalamar.
430
00:20:58,624 --> 00:21:00,392
Ah! Now you're talkin'.
431
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:06,164
{\an8}♪ It was a sad
and lonely sunset
432
00:21:07,699 --> 00:21:10,402
{\an8}♪ A whisper of a star
433
00:21:10,502 --> 00:21:13,472
{\an8}♪ There was a fiery woman
named Joy
434
00:21:13,572 --> 00:21:14,773
{\an8}Jeff!
435
00:21:14,873 --> 00:21:17,843
{\an8}♪ And a horse
called Shalamar
436
00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:20,846
{\an8}ALL: ♪ Shalamar
437
00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:23,515
{\an8}♪ Ride, little pony, ride
438
00:21:23,615 --> 00:21:25,517
{\an8}♪ Hey, yeah, yeah
439
00:21:25,617 --> 00:21:27,486
{\an8}♪ Yeah, that little pony
would ride
440
00:21:27,586 --> 00:21:28,887
{\an8}♪ Ooh
441
00:21:28,987 --> 00:21:30,822
{\an8}♪ It's a little pony
from heaven ♪
33294
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