All language subtitles for one.day.at.a.time.2017.s01e13.720p.webrip.hevc.x265.rmteam

Eh?

Mom, a tiara is a backward symbol

of how women are only valued
for their beauty.

And now that I'm wearing one...

I don't care. I look awesome.
And it's super sparkly!

-[shrieks]
-[both laugh]

I'm so glad you like it.

'Cause tomorrow's your quinces,
and your only job is to be happy.

-[giggles]
-Listen up, grunts.

In 55 minutes,
we have the final venue walkthrough.

And you hear that rumble?
Oh, yeah.

That's the sound
of 183 Cubans arriving in Los Angeles.

Seventeen of whom
will be staying in this room.

Er... fire code-wise,
I don't think that's gonna--

Shut it!

I am going on no sleep
and five Cuban coffees.

Do you really want to mess
with me right now?

[softly] No, ma'am.

As head of transpo you have one job.

Get the Cubans to and from the airport.

I hope you brushed up on your Spanish.

Claro que sí.

[speaking Spanish]

Claro que sí.

I want it on the record that your tone
is very annoying.

[scoffs] [in English] Okay.
You're kidding me, right?

The day of my quinces,
you screamed at Tía Mirtha

because she brought hot pink balloons
instead of fuchsia.

Fuchsia is a royal color!

Hot pink is what a girl wears
on a spring break,

before flashing her tetas.

[arguing in Spanish]

[both arguing in Spanish]

[speaking Spanish]

Oye, why aren't you filming this?

You want me to film you two arguing?
I have hours of that. In here.

Elena, your dress is in the closet.

If you should happen to find
a straightjacket there,

please bring it out here,
for your crazy mami.

First arrivals are in 42 minutes.

And Schneider, I'm sorry that I'm
in hyper-focused bitch mode, but really...

[sighs] thank you for doing this.

Pen, are you kidding me?
You guys are like family.

Tick tock.

I just...

Mami, I really need
this all to go perfectly.

Elena's been through so much this year.

I mean, the divorce, she came out to us,
her creepy little goth friend moved away.

Ah, pobrecita Carmen.

So whatever Elena wants for her quinces,
she gets.

Tres leches cake? I got you.

All white flowers? I got you.

Tables named after famous feminists?

I had to do a lot of Googling,
but, Elena, I got you.

And look at this seating chart. What!

I mean, I'm a humble woman,
but that's art there.

And that reminds me,

Victor's cousin Macho is bringing
his girlfriend.

Mami, we said no girlfriends.

Apparently, they are in love.

Okay.

Fine, I got it.

We're gonna move you
to the Frida Kahlo table,

and the Oprah Winfrey table will go
from eight seats to ten.

You get a seat! You get a seat!

Everybody gets a seat!

So... [clears throat]

how are you feeling about... Victor?

Fine. [chuckles softly]

Yeah, fine,
and I have you to thank for it.

Between growing up Cuban and Catholic,
I've got everything pushed way down.

You're welcome, mija.

Anyway, Victor knows
I don't want to see him until the quinces.

And the kids still think
he's staying at Schneider's

because your bed hurt his back.

Bueno. Yo--

[both exclaiming in Spanish]

[Elena shrieks]

Ooh.

[laughing]

Thank you so much, Abuelita.
It's beautiful.

What's wrong with it?

Nothing. I'm happy, I'm smiling.

Exactly. You are not sobbing with joy.
I have failed you.

I have failed my family.

I have failed Cuba.

[theme song playing]

Everything is all set for tomorrow.

And I just want to say,
you have chosen the perfect ballroom.

Penelope.
This place is an acoustical nightmare.

Doc, what are you doing here?

Practicing my toast, duh.

Oh. The toast is kinda my thing.
So maybe you don't speak.

Don't worry, Leslie.

Elena's quinces is going to be
a very special day for everyone.

[shudders]

No. Don't film that.

Excuse me.

Where is the dance floor?

Um, you're standing on it.

Are you kidding me?

I have relatives who escaped from Cuba
on a raft bigger than this.

[speaks Spanish]

Hey. Hey, Lucy. I'm sorry about her.

Let me translate.
She would like a larger dance floor.

Give the lady a bigger floor.

-Papi.
-Hey.

-[Elena chuckles]
-Hey. Hi.

Hi. You're here.

Yeah. I asked Papi to come so we could
practice our father-daughter dance.

-Oh.
-Yeah, we have to do something really good

to distract the audience
because the song is super cheesy.

-[Spanish song playing over cell phone]
-Ay, Julio.

Let them do that.
You help me sneak in the booze

we bought at Costco. Come on.

[song continues playing]

Don't worry.

I found a more modern version
for us to dance to.

Oh, I kinda like this one.

Me, too.

It's about, uh,
how you look away for a second

and you turn back and...

-your little girl's all grown up.
-[both chuckle]

It's actually getting to me.

[sighs] Papi, I want to
tell you something.

That I'm the greatest dancer
you've ever seen?

[whispers] I know.

That, and...

I have grown up.

And I've learned a lot about myself
since you've been gone.

And I've changed.

-Well, not changed, but, um...
-Mmm-hmm.

I'm gay.

[chuckles]

Yeah, and you're pregnant, too, right?

[chuckling]

Let's do all the shockers.

[stammers] No.

Papi, I'm... I'm serious.

I came out while you were gone

and I was just waiting
for the right time to tell you.

I don't understand.
Why are you doing this?

[inhales deeply]

Okay, so this wasn't the right time.
Just don't be mad.

No, I'm not mad. You're just confused.
I mean, you're 15.

You don't know what the hell
you're talking about.

-[song stops]
-What's going on?

I told him.

Did you know about this?

Yeah. Just give us a sec.

Are you indulging whatever this is?

Uh, you mean supporting our daughter?
Yeah, I am.

No. She's not...
She's not that way, okay?

I've been gone a year.
What the hell's been going on here?

Wow. [scoffs] Okay.

Look, I didn't know she was
gonna tell you, but now that she did,

you're gonna have to figure out
a way to be okay with it.

No, I don't have to be okay with anything.
She's mixed up, and you're her mother.

You aren't even trying
to talk some sense into her?

That's not how this works.

Oh, so we're all just supposed
to pretend like this is cool?

Because it's not. All right?

It's not.

It's my fault.
I kind of ambushed him and it's...

You didn't do anything wrong, baby.

Kinda worried he's not gonna come.

What? No.

No, he just needs a minute.
He's not good with change.

You should have seen him the first time
he saw me without makeup. Whoa!

"Who are you right now?

-Why don't you have eyebrows?"
-[chuckles]

[speaking Spanish]

Gracias.

[speaks Spanish]

Don't freestyle. Stick with the picture.

Follow Olguitita's example.

[gasps] And what the hell
is a carnation doing in here?

Mami, a word?

When was the last time you slept?

Two days ago. Yeah, but don't worry.

I take little power naps
when I pee. [panting]

Maybe you should lie down.

[mockingly] "Maybe you should lie down."

-What's happening?
-[sighs] Sorry. There's just a lot to do.

And people say they want to help
and friggin' Tina's over there

doing her own thing,
like she always does.

Keep your eye on her.

[Alex sighs]

Hey, guys, what's taking so long?

Oh, hi, Carmen.

Hi, Ms. Alvarez.

Uh... sorry you can't come to the quinces,

but glad you could make it
to the final fitting.

Elena wanted me to weigh in on her dress.

It's gorgeous.

La Diabla lies.

I have tried everything.

I have taken away the frills,
I have put on the frills,

I have made it longer,
I have made it shorter.

But she is being impossible.

I told you I love every version of it

See what I mean?

Ay, Mami, we don't have time for this.

If the dress were truly perfect,

she would be so overcome with emotion,
her eyes would fill with tears.

Maybe what you're picking up on,
is that...

I'm not really comfortable
wearing a dress.

Of course, you are not comfortable.
It's called being a woman.

I am in agony all of the time,
but I look amazing.

Not sure this is the lesson
I want to be teaching,

but I so want to check this box. [sighs]

All I'm saying is that I'm really
figuring out what I am comfortable in.

Last week, I went to a thrift store

and I got some jackets,
some ties, a fedora, a pinstripe suit.

What? You want to look like Al Capone?

Ooh, what about this?

What about, instead of heels...
I wear my Doc Martens?

I mean, all everybody else
would see is the dress,

but underneath there'd be one thing
that's a little more me.

I love that.

Keeping the dress, wearing the Docs.
No more changes.

[Elena chuckles]

You got it, okay!

You're killing me.

Tina, baby's breath?

Stop sneaking in unapproved flowers.

That's my boy.

All right,
here's your last three Alvarezes.

De nada.

Can an hombre
get a pastelito up in this boca?

I learned more words.

[chuckles]

-Hola. ¿Cómo está?
-Hola.

-Ay, mira el niño tan lindo.
-Gracias.

[both speaking Spanish]

[continues speaking Spanish]

[continues speaking Spanish]

[in English]
I don't know these people.

-What?
-Yeah.

You picked up the wrong Alvarezes.

Did you not look at the photos I gave you?

I did.

But I don't want to be racist,
so let's say I didn't.

All right. Back to el Range Rover.

But first we will stop at El Pollo Loco
on La Cienega Boulevard.

I'm running out of words.

Hey, Pen?

-[whispers] Come here.
-Uh-huh?

Just so you know,
Victor's still upstairs in my apartment.

Yeah, thanks again for taking him in.

-Actually, I think he's leaving.
-What?

He was packing up all his stuff
while he was telling me

about Elena's crazy phase
and how everyone's coddling her.

I didn't want to kill the bro vibe
we got going on, so I said,

"I know, right, bro?"
But what I was really thinking was,

"Hell no, bro. That's a no-go."
So... you know.

Hey there.

What's up, Lupe?

I just wanted to make sure
everything was cool.

You're not gonna do something stupid
like not come to the quinces tomorrow?

"Yeah, cool, Lupe. I'll be there."
"Oh, thanks, Victor."

Look, I know this is all hitting you fast.
I... was really thrown at first, too.

This isn't who she is, Lupe.

It's not. It's a phase. It's what kids do.
It's, like, cool now to be gay.

Oh, yeah. That's it.

She wants a piece
of that sweet bullying and persecution

because being a teenager's
not hard enough.

You know what? I'm not joking.

And I'm not here to fight with you.
Because this is not about us right now.

This is about your daughter.
And I know you love her.

And you know how much it means to Elena
for you to be at her quinces.

Does the whole family know?

No.

[door closes]

She's only told a few people.

All right. Well, that's good.
Don't tell anyone else.

-I'm not gonna tell anyone else.
-Good.

Because it's not up to me.

Or you.

It's up to Elena to decide
who she tells and when.

But the one thing you do get to decide

is whether you're gonna be there
for your daughter.

¿Un pastelito?

¿Un pastelito?

Penelope, hola. ¿Un pastelito?

Doc, I feel like I keep asking you this,
but what are you doing here?

I'm not sure.

I thought I would see everyone
at the quinces tomorrow but, uh...

your mom told me to come over tonight.

[gags] Don't do that.

-Mom, don't freak out.
-What happened?

It's gonna be fine.

But Tía Mimi just got a call,
and you know the Fajardos?

Rosita, Diana, Marta, Cristina,
Juanito and Baby Juanito?

Can't come because of a baptism
on Rosita's mother's side?

They're coming.

Oh, come on!

I should have known better.

The Fajardos are OG Cubans.
They run on Caribbean time.

Cristina was pregnant with Baby Juanito
for 11 months,

and she still thinks he was premature.

I don't know
if we can fit in any more tables.

We are not adding another table.

I can make this work.

[gasps]

I don't feel safe.

[gasps]

[Penelope screams]

Gracias, estoy bien.

Dr. Berkowitz,
would you mind helping me pick this up?

Oh, absolutely.
It would be a pleasure. [sighs]

I feel like we dodged a bullet there.

Don't drag me down with you, buddy.

Oh, uh, Leslie.

Come into my room, please.

Oh, I can't deal with this right now.

No!

There's no way
you're gonna be able to fix this in time.

Oh, I'm about to go A Beautiful
freaking Mind up in this bitch.

I'm kinda scared of you right now,
so I'm gonna leave.

Yeah, it's a Jekyll-Hyde situation,
so you should run.

[sighs]

[breathes deeply]

[snoring]

[gasps] The Rosa Parks table should not be
in the back!

Where am I? Who put a blanket on me?

Who brushed my teeth?

[gasps] 10:03?
Oh, my God! Is it the morning?

Oh, my God!

[panting]

What?

Did I die?

Is this heaven?

-[knocking on door]
-Open up, it's Schneider.

[groaning] Oh, God, it's hell.

[grunts and pants]

I got one last pickup. You.

What is going on?

The Cubans are missing,
my seating chart is gone

and I'm kind of attracted to you?
Nothing makes sense.

Chill, girl.

Oh, that helps when you talk.
Thank you.

I am here to take you
to your daughter's quinces.

So, get in that bedroom
and put on all your clothes.

Whoa, I've never said that
to a woman before.

Don't mess with me,
weirdly sexy Schneider.

How did this happen? Who's in charge?

It's handled, boo.

Nice work, Jay.

Tina, there's no confetti on Frida Kahlo.

Ay, Dios mío.

[sighs] Okay.

Now I'm in heaven.

Immigrants. We get the job done.

I can't believe
you pulled this all together.

Look at the centerpieces!

Ay, Tina. Muy bien hecho.

All is forgiven.

Yeah, most is forgiven. Okay.

Have you seen your papi?

No. But I'm seeing too much of something.

Hey!

Everything looks amazing.
And your papi's here.

[sighs]

Okay, so I have made
a few adjustments to the dress.

Mami, I already checked that box.
In ink.

[stammers] But it's just a few tweaks.
You won't even notice.

I should not have said anything.

-[Elena sighs]
-Mira.

[sobbing and laughing]

I... [laughs]

[Lydia] Oh!

[gasps] Now, that is the response
I have been waiting for.

Next time, don't make me jump
through the hoops.

Hey, everybody.

Hello?

[shouting] Hey, you guys!

The room is yours.

Thank you, Mami.

[sighs]

Victor and I would like
to thank you all for coming.

And I'm probably gonna cry,
so deal with it, mi gente.

August 7, 2001.

The doctor said
Elena was due August 15th,

but you know her,

she ain't lettin' no man tell her
when she gonna get birthed.

[all laughing]

Elena has always been her own girl...

and now she's becoming
her own woman.

When she was in third grade,

she played the cherry tree
in a school play.

And when George Washington
swung his ax,

she hit him back and yelled,
"Trees are people, too!"

[all laughing]

And that's Elena.

Always sticking up for the underdog.

Whether it's a tree, an animal,
a friend...

or me.

She's taught me more about being strong...

selfless and true to yourself
than I could have ever taught her.

Okay, I can't hold it together anymore,
so let's just bring the court out here!

[all cheering]

And now, let's welcome
the girl of the hour--

Oh, I mean, the woman of the hour...

Elena Maria Alvarez Riera
Calderón Leytevidal Inclan.

[upbeat music playing]

[all cheering and whooping]

Thank you. Gracias. You're welcome.

Are you ready?

Are you sure?

Carmen! Oh!

What are you doing here?

Schneider flew me out.

[slow song playing]

How do you know all the steps?

Your abuelita Skyped me
every day for three months.

She was so mean, she made me cry.

I loved it.

[upbeat music playing]

[speaks Spanish]

[Lydia] Oye. Mira.

[pop music playing]

[all applaud and cheer]

-Ah! [laughs]
-Wow!

What about the suit, huh?
It was perfect.

And I could never have done it
without Leslie.

-What?
-Well, last night your mother said,

"If you can suture, you can sew."

So, I helped her make Elena's suit.

I was on a deadline.
I needed his nimble fingers.

Oh, such a talent!

It's a shame
you wasted your life as a doctor.

Okay.

So when you went in your room last night,
you guys were...

Sewing. What else did you think we-- Oh!

Qué mala. Qué sucia.

All right, all right.
Ladies and gentlemen.

Please, turn your attention
to the dance floor

for the father-daughter dance.

[applause]

[guitar music playing]

I got you.

I'm okay, you guys.

Thank you both
for making me have a quinces.

I... have to admit, this is pretty great.

Oh, you are welcome, mija.

[sniffs]

I never tire of saying...

"I told you so."

Eat it up, 'cause we're not doing
this again until your wedding.

Oh, I'm never getting married, so...

[sing-song] I can't hear you.

The music's too loud!

[salsa music playing]