All language subtitles for Dukes Of Hazzard S06E14 Dead And Alive.720p.AMZN.WEB-DL.x264.NonHI.en

Hazzard's got a..

Pitchfork Picasso!

And everybody
gets to the picture.

I'm afraid Bo and Luke
are in a mess this time.

Wait a minute.

Freeze!

Come on, Bo, let's go to jail.

♪ Just the good ol' boys ♪

♪ Never meanin' no harm ♪

♪ Beats all you've ever saw
been in trouble with the law ♪

♪ Since the day they was born ♪

♪ Staightenin' the curves ♪

♪ Flattenin' the hills ♪

♪ Someday the
mountain might get 'em ♪

♪ But the law never will ♪

♪ Makin' their way ♪

♪ The only way they know how ♪

♪ That's just a little bit
more than the law will allow ♪

♪ Just the good ol' boys ♪

♪ Wouldn't change
if they could ♪

♪ Fightin' the system like a
true modern day Robin Hood ♪♪

- Yee-hoo!
- Yee-haw!

Now, Bo and Luke got
special probation permission

from Boss Hogg, to cross the
county line on family business.

Now, only a Duke could be

in the wrong place
at the wrong time.

Even when they have permission.

Now, this is Artie Bender.

Hazzard's local starving artist.

Enjoying one of the few things
he can afford. A sunny day.

Which was about
to be interrupted.

Well, he's out colder
than a frozen TV dinner.

I'll get the money,
and you get the car.

Sure took a knock on
the head down there.

What the heck is that?

- 'I don't know.'
- 'Okay, I'll pull up.'

- Artie.
- 'Been a hold up.'

I-I think that driver
will be alright.

Let's see now. It was a
light-colored sedan, four door.

They took off on down that way.

Oh, we'll take off after 'em.
You better call emergency.

Right away.

- What's goin' on?
- Robbery, sheriff.

There were two of 'em in a car,
and they went down that way.

I already called an ambulance.

Now, you see,
old Artie, never told

Sheriff Little of Chickasaw
that Bo and Luke was already

chasin' them crooks.

So naturally, Sheriff Little
figured that the crooks'll be

in the first car that
he'd lay eyes on.

And that'll be the General Lee.

I think that orange
car following us

just picked up some company.

Well, we can't go both ways.

That face behind us
ain't exactly friendly.

Bo, you're getting cynical.

He's the law, he's
gotta do his duty.

We'll go split up, and
we'll catch 'em guys..

- You explain it to him.
- Alright, I can do that.

First, you boys scram
on out of that there car.

Sheriff Little, if we each go
one way we're gonna trap..

Listen, wait a minute..

Bo and Luke tried to
explain how they were chasin'

the crooks, and how they
had a witness to prove it.

Well, Sheriff Little
turned a deaf fist.

As far as he was concerned

the Dukes was tried and
convicted of grand theft

horse stealin' and the
sinking of the Titanic.

The first thing we
do is ditch this car

and pick us up another one.

We'll only make ourselves
hotter than we already are.

Whoever was in that
orange car got a make

on this here heap we're drivin',
so we better do somethin'.

We'll paint it.

Speaking of painting, Bo
and Luke's one and only alibi

had returned to his studio,
to find he had visitors.

Look here, Artie Bender,
I come here to foreclose

on all your property, house
and everything on account

of that money you owe me
for them mortgage payments

the grocery supplies

not to mention all them paintin'
materials you been buyin'.

- Yes, also a parkin' ticket.
- Parkin' ticket?

- I don't even own a car.
- Well, that's no excuse.

You were in front of a
parkin' meter the other day

and were paintin'
the court house

and you didn't put
a red dime in there...

Let's not waste more words
on him. Rosco, do your duty.

That's right. We just..

Please, don't sell my house.

I mean, it's all I got, except
my paintings, you see.

I tell you what, I-I'll pay
you the next picture I sell.

Well, that don't mean much on
account you never did sell one.

Then, I'll tell you what, I'll
give you two of the latest ones.

Now, they'll be worth
lot of money someday.

Oh, tiddly-tuddly,
don't listen to him, Boss.

'I'll tell you something,
the only painting'

that I ever heard of,
worth a plug nickel

the guy who painted it
had kicked the bucket.

That's right. He
kicked the bucket.

The crazy one
who cut off his ear.

Or that French fella, who
was a little itty-bitty dwarf?

Yeah, painted all
them fancy dancers.

Well, I don't care which
ones you're talk about

they was never
famous, until they died.

- Right, and he ain't dead.
- Yeah, but I will be. Someday.

I mean, everybody
dies... sometime.

Well, we can't around for
that. You might last for years.

Ain't that right, Boss?

- Unless..
- Huh, unless?

- We speed it up, a little.
- That's what we'll do.

We'll just speed it..

Boss, you can't possibly mean..

'Oh, no, no, of
course not. No, no, no.'

All I meant was that we have

Artie here, get
officially deceased.

Officially deceased.

Yeah, in that way, his paintings
could be worth somethin'.

- Are you feelin' sickly?
- No.

Oh, well, then how
are we gonna have him

officially deceased, when
he's not even feelin' puny?

By just fillin' out a
fewer forms, you know.

Like a death certificate

which I got plenty
of at City Hall.

Yeah, not to mention, I own the
funeral parlor and the cemetery.

And with Artie hid out,
where nobody can see him..

Coo! You've done it
again, you little man!

Get away from there!

You're slicker than
a skinned onion.

Artie, what do you
think of this idea?

Boss made Artie an offer
that he couldn't refuse.

Not only would Boss
wipe out all of Artie's debts

but Artie would become
famous before his time.

And get 25 percent to boot,
after expenses, of course.

This was a pretty
good deal for Artie.

But it was a real bad
one for Bo and Luke.

If we were the crooks, how come
we stopped and waited for you?

If we's the crooks, where's
the money? How about that?

You tossed it out the window,
figurin' you'd pick it up later.

That oughta be
worth about 20 years.

I know how to
prove we're innocent.

We're due one
phone call, ain't we?

Okay, you got one call.

I don't want no judge
tossing this case out

on no legal technicalities.

Hello, operator. Get me
Artie Bender over in Hazzard.

We'll have this thing
cleared up in a minute.

Artie's phone's been cut
off. He didn't pay his bill.

- Come on. Let's get this down.
- Boss, did you like it..

Yeah, you'll get something,
don't worry about a thing.

Ooh, why, this
the best idea yet!

Ooh, I tell you,
this is marvelous!

- Careful. They're masterpieces.
- They're masterpieces.

Then we call Uncle Jesse,
have him bring Artie over here.

Oh, no, shoot. Uncle Jesse
is out ploughin' the back 40.

And if I am not mistaken, Daisy
went to Capital City, shoppin'.

- Shoot!
- He he he.

Listen, operator, I need
to talk to Cooter Davenport

over at, over at Davenport's
Garage in Hazzard.

Gussy, what you
doin' on the phone?

What are you takin'
Cooter's calls for?

He's out on a tow job, huh?

Get a hold of him and have
him tell Uncle Jesse to bring

Artie Bender here to
Chickasaw County Jail right away.

Me and Bo are up on charges
of grand theft armored truck.

You got that?

Alright thanks a lot.

Now, it's my turn.

Jezebel, get me
Rosco P. Coltrane

in Hazzard County.

Meanwhile, Boss
had hid ol' Artie up

so he could declare him dead.

Which he couldn't do if ol'
Artie was just sittin' around.

Even Hazzard folks would
see something wrong with that.

Yeah, you heard me right. I
want an obituary for Artie Bender.

Yeah, splashed all
over the front page.

Yeah, and lots of
his paintings, too.

And over it all, a big
banner headline sayin'

"Hazzard County
and all of U.S.A.

mourn loss of great artist."

Yeah, that's it.

Why? What do you mean why?

Because I own your
paper, that's why.

- Ooh, good news, Boss!
- Oh.

Look at that.
Isn't that a doozy?

You know somethin'? It's got
every kind of flower in there.

There's forget-me-nots,
chrysanthe-num-nums and there...

How did that pansy get in there?

It's got every flower
Artie wanted on his grave

if he'd really kicked off.

It sure is beautiful.

I want you to make sure to
remind me to deduct the cost

of these beautiful flowers and
all them other funeral expenses

from the deceased's
share of the profits.

Oh, yeah, well..

Oh, I'll get it.

Sheriff Coltrane's office,
Commissioner J.D. Hogg speaking.

Say, hello from Rosco.

- Say it yourself. It's for you.
- Who is it?

It's Sheriff Little
from Chickasaw.

Ooh, good grief!

- Uh, Sheriff Rosco P...
- 'Coltrane.'

I wanted you to know I did what
you ain't never been able to do.

I busted them Dukes.

'Grand theft armored truck.'

Alright, Little, you've
gone too far, this time.

I want those boys back in my
county, and I mean right now.

'They're out of
your jurisdiction.'

You know, Sheriff Little
arrested Bo and Luke

and he's got 'em in the
slammer there in Chickasaw.

Oh-ho-ho, he did?

Glory be! I don't care
what jail they're in

so long as they're behind bars.

I don't know what
they're gabbin' about.

Listen, Rosco, this is Luke.

We're innocent. We need
Artie Bender as an eye witness.

- Artie, Ar-Artie Bender?
- 'Artie Bender?'

What, what about Artie Bender?

Luke wants Artie to come
there and testify for him

to get him out of the slammer.

Oh, give me that phone.

Listen, here, Luke
Duke, this is J.D. Hogg.

Artie Bender can't do nothin'
for nobody on account of

he just died.

- What?
- 'Yeah, real sudden like.'

And his funeral's gonna
be any minute now.

I sure am sorry, you ain't
gonna be able to make it.

Ooh. Bye.

I didn't know you were
havin' the funeral that soon.

- I don't know if I can make..
- Oh, really?

Our eye witness just closed
his eyes for the last time.

- What do you mean?
- Artie Bender's dead.

How far's Atlanta from here?

What's our hurry?

'Ain't nobody lookin' for
a blue, four door sedan.'

Besides, there's a little
berg called Hazzard

a few miles form here.

Might have a bank we could hit.

We already got more
than 50 grand in the trunk.

Can I help it if I'm greedy?

Greed ain't somethin' that
that fella's got monopoly on.

'Cause, when it comes to greed

Boss Hogg's the
cock of the walk.

With Artie Bender's empty
casket not in the ground, yet

Boss was already
promotin' them paintings

to a big art dealer
from Atlanta.

It's Artie Bender
I'm talkin' about.

Yep, yep. The Grandpa
Moses of Hazzard County.

Yeah, yeah. The
Rembrandt in overalls.

The Pitchfork Picasso!

Now, Boss wouldn't give
up sellin' that dealer on how

he might lose out on a real
genius and a pot full of money.

Yeah, if I was you, I'd hurry
and see 'em 'cause they're

comin' from New York
and I don't know where..

Them gonna pick
'em up real cheap

and gonna resell 'em to folks.

I mean they're gonna get a
pot full for 'em. That's right.

- Oh, you will come? Alright.
- Coo! Coo!

- Good news!
- He's gonna be here tomorrow.

We sure gotta do a lot
before the next 24 hours.

- Let's go.
- Yeah. Come on, let's go.

Boss' plans were
really shapin' up.

Just when Cooter got a
hold of Jesse and told him

about the fix Bo
and Luke were in.

The message from Luke is this.

We need to get Artie
Bender over there because

Artie could clear
'em of the charges.

If that's all they need, I'll
go and get Artie Bender

and get on over there.

I hate to tell you,
but Artie Bender

passed away right
after this happenin'.

He's dead and gone, and they're
buryin' him tomorrow mornin'.

Artie Bender? I didn't
even know he was ailin'.

I'd like to pay my respects,
but I guess we better get on

over to Chickasaw and post bail.

Ain't no point of
that Uncle Jesse.

I already called over
there. There ain't no bail.

Seeing as Bo and
Luke are on probation.

And their only eye
witness, havin' crossed over

and I am afraid that Bo and
Luke are in a mess this time.

- How's it soundin'?
- Do you really wanna know?

It's the "Camptown Ladies".

You gotta be kiddin' me.

It ain't no time to
be foolin' around.

I sure wish Artie would've
told Sheriff Little that

we is the chasers,
and not the chasees.

Well, he didn't. So we
best forget about that.

Hey, Luke, bail. Now, what the
heck we gonna do about bail?

- We gotta get outta here so..
- Oh, you gotta be crazy.

Remember where we are?
We're, we're in Sheriff Little's jail.

If he had his way, we'd
be underneath the thing.

We'll get outta here
when hell freezes over.

I bet that fella got a look
at who the crooks are.

You give me a worse
headache than your harmonica.

The only thing he saw was stars.
We're gonna get out of this mess

when we break out
and find the real crooks.

I hate to pour salt on
the wound, Luke, but..

I bet 'em fellows is
out of the state by now.

Can you think anythin' better?
It's our only way out of this.

Bo.

Let me say, move over..

Michelangelo, Rembrandt

and all you other
famous artists.

We're now sendin' up to you

Hazzard County's own
beloved and here to fall, unsung

unknown genius to
take his rightful place

among all you
great famous artists

in their great painter's
studio in the sky.

Amen.

Alright, boys.

It's time we all
go see the judge.

Come on, Bo!

'Stop right there.'

Oh-h! Ugh!

Come back here.

Cousin, we're about to
lose this one to Sheriff Little.

Friends and neighbors,
you're lookin' at oneof the big

reasons foreigners
don't really understand us.

'Sure shook him.'

Well, we gotta get
rid of him somehow.

Look, there's a bend up ahead.

Once we get outta sight, how
about we play that same routine

we did on Rosco that
time over at Rocky Ridge?

Alright, you got it.

For sure, he ain't
gonna like what he finds.

'Freeze! I said
freeze, darn it!'

'You guys come back here.'

Uhh!

This is, uh.. Now, listen
in this is Sheriff Little.

This is Sheriff Little. I..

Uhh!

'Lost Sheep to shepherd.'

'you'll got your ears
on? Come back.'

This is Shepherd. Come back.

Now, Bo and Luke got
Daisy, Jesse and Cooter.

Told them to rendezvous
at Artie Bender's old studio.

Meanwhile, 'em crooks drove
to Hazzard, to case a local bank

while Boss and Rosco was
busy settin' up Boss's latest scam.

'That's right, c'mon in here.'

C'mon, c'mon. Come
in here so we can talk.

Now listen, that fancy-pants
art dealer from Atlanta's

due here in less than half
hour. Yeah, look at this.

So here, I want you
to do what you said

you was gonna do
when I asked you.

You take some of
this money for you

and I want you... soon
as that Art Dealer comes in

start buyin' paintings.

- You hear me?
- Yes, Boss.

- That's right.
- Can I have some?

You can have this.

'Cause I want you to buy
all of them beautiful paintings

and then, uh, when
you are through buyin'

Sheriff Coltrane will be
waitin' out there to take

them paintings back from
you, just as you go out.

And, uh, don't forget now,
you spend all the money.

Don't keep 'em for
yourself, 'cause that's real.

I'm telling you that.
Come on, we gotta go out.

And don't forget, you're gonna
be buyin' the most beautiful

the most precious, the greatest
masterpieces you've ever seen.

- Is that straight, Sheriff?
- Well, let's see.

Oh!

Enos. I can't hold the
ladder and get back

and look and see
if it's straight, too.

Rosco!

Enos!

Oh, Sheriff, I'm
sorry. I didn't mean to..

While Enos was
helpin' redecorate

them crooks was thinkin'
of hittin' Boss' bank.

That is until they saw
the Chickasaw Sheriff.

Here comes trouble.

Them the boys that robbed
that armored truck yesterday?

It's what the poster says.

You boys find
'em, you turn 'em in

y'all got yourself $500 reward.

Yeah, yes, sir. We sure
will keep our eyes open

for 'em poor boys.

Well, would you believe that!

They got those boys
figured for the job we pulled.

- You know what we gonna do?
- What?

We're gonna find
'em boys, turn 'em in

and the case will be closed.

Well..

Well, what?

What? We're wanted
for armed robbery.

We ain't got a, we
ain't got a witness

we don't know who
did it or why they did it

we don't know where they are.

Tell me something I
don't already know.

Look, I've been sittin' here
thinkin' and thinkin' about it.

I can't come up with a dang
thing. Ain't you got any ideas?

- Of course I got ideas.
- What are they?

Well, when I get 'em all
sorted out, I'll let you know.

When you get 'em all sorted out.

You got it sorted out what
the heck we're gonna do?

What's gonna happen
if we've to take this rap?

Well, you know that shirt
you got with the alligator on it?

- Yeah.
- It's got numbers on the back.

'Artie sure picked a nice
place to put his cabin, didn't he?'

'Sure is quiet up here.'

I've been here 30, 40 years

and this is the first
time I can remember

there ain't no smoke
coming out the chimney.

- Hey.
- Hey, y'all.

Any news on what
happened to Artie?

Why he passed on so quick?

First we heard, they had Artie
over J.D. Hogg's funeral parlor

and the next thing we knew, they
had him at J.D. Hogg's cemetery.

You know, the thing
that gets me is that

Old Artie loved art as
much as he loved breakfast.

He didn't get to live to
see J.D. Hogg down there

sellin' his paintings
like they was gold.

Did you get to look at what
the real crooks looked like?

No, we never got close enough.
All we seen was the rear end

of a light-colored sedan
with a busted right taillight.

That ain't a lot to go
on. Particularly when, uh

your only eyewitness
is pushin' up daisies.

You know, there's one thing
about this that bothers me.

Y'all noticed how much Artie's
death's worked to Boss' benefit?

On one hand, all of a sudden
Artie's paintings are worth

a whole lot of money.

And Boss has got us in hot
water which is right where

he wants us, all because
we haven't a witness.

Get on the CB and find out
if anybody's seen that sedan.

What're you gonna do?

Gonna head over to Doc
Appleby's, see what led

to the demise of Artie Bender.

This is Jesse Duke
callin' the pipeline.

This is Jesse Duke
callin' the pipeline.

I've got a description..

Back in Hazzard,
Rosco was headin'

for the back of the courthouse,
when he spotted his very own

personal enemy number
one, Sheriff "Big Ed" Little.

Little, don't pretend
you don't hear me.

You're violating here.
Listen, you know something?

I have half a mind
to write you a ticket.

Coltrane, you ain't even got a
quarter of a mind, no less half.

Now, buzz off!

If anybody's gonna catch those
Duke boys, it's gonna be me.

- Coltrane.
- What?

You couldn't catch a cold

if you was naked as
a jaybird in the snow.

Now, why don't you
just hang around a while

and watch a real
sheriff do his job.

Wait. Listen, here. This..

Well, I'll have your
badge. Come back!

Oh, this is humiliating!

I was hoping you could,
uh, fill us in a little bit.

There's nothin' I can do.

But, believe me, Bo and
Luke, Artie Bender's death came

as much of a shock
to me as it did to you.

- He wasn't ailin' or nothin'?
- He wasn't ailin' one bit.

I gave him a thorough check
up the mornin' I went fishin'.

Then, come back the next
night, find out he's deader

than the fish I brought in.

Then you weren't the one
that signed the death certificate.

No. And I have no idea who did.

- I think we better find out.
- I think so.

Thanks a lot, doc.

We figure anything
out, we'll give you a call.

Alright.

- Adios.
- Drive carefully.

Now the Dukes have to keep
lookin' for answers while being

on the run as fugitives
from Sheriff Rosco and Little.

The death certificate's gotta
be on file at the county office.

- Love to look at it.
- I would, too.

I just don't see how
it's gonna help us.

How's it gonna prove that
we didn't rob that truck?

He was our only eye witness.
And somethin' ain't right

about the way he passed on.

Shepherd to Lost Sheep.
Shepherd to Lost Sheep.

'Have you got
ears on out there?'

Yeah, that's a big 10-4.
We got you. Come on back.

We're, uh, comin'
in empty-handed.

We didn't eyeball no
light-colored sedans anywhere

'and nobody else has seen it.'

Uncle Jesse, ask them
what the doctor said.

Uh, Daisy wants to know what
you found out at the doctor's.

Doc said that last time
he saw him, he was fine.

'He said he didn't sign no
death certificate, neither.'

'Luke's got an idea.'

Would y'all go to Boss'
art show and keep him

in the front room while we're
lookin' at the county records?

Uh, alright. You do your
thing, and we'll do ours.

'This is Shepherd, out.'

Now, this fancy
dude with bad eyes

and who's coat and pants isn't
coordinated, is an art dealer.

Yep, that's just exactly
what they look like.

Well, well, well,
what do you think?

There's no question
this artist has talent.

Yes.

Color, technique,
excellent composition.

Yeah. Yeah.

And above all, imagination.

That, too.

In a primitive sort
of way, of course.

Yeah, well, he was very
primitive. No question of that.

- I saw it first!
- Heck, you did!

- I did! I did!
- I saw it first!

Wait a minute!
Hold everything here!

I just gotta have this
here Bender waterfall.

The brush strokes,
the colors, it's brilliant!

Yeah, sure is. It must
be a great masterpiece.

- But don't fight over it...
- Uh, listen, Boss.

I'll give you double of what
you're askin' for this painting.

- 'Double, yeah.'
- 'That and 100 more.'

'A hundred more? My goodness!'

Why, that'll come to, oh,
I don't know, 500 at least.

You know what, it'll probably
be worth triple that by tomorrow.

That Art dealer from Atlanta
was gettin' more impressed

with Boss' shills
fightin' over one of them

authentic Bender paintings.

Just like how Boss figured.
But what he didn't figure

was that the Dukes
were smellin' somethin'.

And it wasn't just fresh paint.

So, while everybody was
lookin' at them pictures

Bo and Luke sneaked
into Boss' office.

Like I said on the phone,
now that Artie Bender

is dead and gone, all
these pictures are bound

to become collectors' items.

I don't believe
this, Uncle Jesse.

Yeah, me neither.

When you remember Artie
Bender couldn't have traded

one of his paintings for a
set of retreads for his car

if he'd had a car.

Yeah. And Boss is down
here movin' 'em like they're the..

Greatest things
since sliced bread.

You know the Hatchapee
and Capitol City museums

have been all over me to get
all I could deliver... at top dollar.

I need another cigar. I'm
goin' to my office. Excuse me.

I gotta get me a cigar.

J.D., uh, Artie Bender
would be so proud

of what you're doin'
for him here today.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'd figured a man who
deserves every chance he gets

to get what's comin' to
him even if he ain't around.

'I gotta get a cigar.'

Boss, how about
giving me this tour, huh?

You know, I used to
finger-paint back in second grade.

Maybe you could
sell some of my stuff.

See me when you get to the
third grade. I gotta get a cigar!

There you go. Be my guest.

Yeah, but, but..

- You need a light?
- Yeah, give him a light.

- I got a match. Yeah.
- You do?

- Let us do it for you.
- No, no, no.

There you go. There you go.

Birth and death certificates.

Anderson, Andrews.
Arthur Bender.

Arthur Bender.

- Died of natural causes.
- Uh-huh.

Uh, it was signed by
Dr. Campbell... on Paxton Road.

You know who he is?

I don't know who he is, but
that's his address. Let's go.

- Mr. Hogg?
- Yeah?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I'm convinced. Stop the sale.

I'll take every piece of work
by Bender that I can buy.

'You will? Ha ha ha.'

You got yourself a deal!

Everybody, everybody,
uh, your attention please.

Now, don't be mad.

But I'm gonna have to cancel
all of them sales we just made.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, on account of
this gentlemen here

just offered to buy
each and every paintin'

we got in the place in one loop.

That's not fair!

It's just too bad that
this is all that's left

of such a promising genius.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I know that.

But don't you worry.
Don't you worry.

If it's more paintings you want

uh, I can get you plenty
more of these paintings.

'But the man's deceased.'

Oh, yeah, he's dead.
Dead as the doornail.

But before he died, he must
have left some paintings around

you know, gave some away or
maybe even sold a few locally.

So, I'll go around, and
pick up as many as I can.

At a price.

Whatever the cost, my
clients can well afford

to pay it for an
authentic Bender.

Bo and Luke C.B.'d
Jesse and Daisy

to tell them that they were
checking out on Doc Campbell.

But other ears
were listening, too.

Ol' Artie was up on Hazzard Pond

paintin' his li'l ol' heart out.

Makin' himself
sob, and Boss rich.

And Bo and Luke was callin' in

to tell Jesse and
Daisy and Cooter

what they found out at
the Paxton Road address.

There's something
strange going on here.

Dr. Campbell's supposed to
have signed the death certificate.

But we checked out the address
where the office was to be.

Turned out to be an
empty lot owned by Boss.

Listen, I know J.D.. I'd
knowed him for a long time.

'Andtrue, he'd do about
anything for a dishonest dollar'

but he wouldn't do nobody in.

Specially Artie.

Yea, well, they're tied
together somehow.

Well, whatever it is,
this is not helping them.

We gotta find the crooks!

You're right about that.

Uh, Daisy says we
gotta find them crooks

and I think she's right.

That'll be nice. But how do we

when we don't know what they
look like or where they went?

'We'll meet at Hopkins'
barn and figure this out.'

We'll be there in
15. We're gone.

- Well...
- You ain't goin' anywhere.

We're makin' a citizen's arrest.

Well, now, we got two
crooks makin' a citizen's arrest

on the two most
honest men in Hazzard.

What are now fugitives.

We saw you on that wanted poster

and we're gonna
collect the reward.

What poster are
you talkin' about?

Show 'em..

Let's get out of here.

They're gettin' away!

Must have brought
in his own posse.

Them fellas in from Hazzard.

It ain't where they're
from that's important

it's where they are.
Which is behind us.

See if you can get the
police channel on that CB.

Maybe we can get
that sheriff to help us.

Sure feels funny.
Callin' the cops.

Yeah, that's right, and
I want an all-state ABP

out on them Dukes.

- Hey, hey!
- Hey, wait a minute, Little!

- Yeah.
- You know this is my office.

I've made this my command
post until I catch them Dukes.

- What?
- 'Callin' Chickasaw sheriff.'

- 'Callin' Chickasaw sheriff.'
- Hey, listen. This is my radio.

And that's my
name he's a-callin'.

Sheriff Little here.

We're chasing them
Dukes right now, sheriff.

'We may need some help.'

- Where are you at?
- 'Paxton Road, heading west.'

I'm on my way.

Wait a minute, Little!

This is, this is my
job! My jurisdiction!

Should be my 500! I'm
gonna knock him in the...

- Ah, ah, ah!
- What?

Your job is gettin' up to
where Artie Bender is hid

get bring me back some
more of his paintings.

So step on the gas,
and get me some oils.

You know, one day I'm gonna..

I mean, I'm gonna.. I
mean... I-I'm gonna..

You're gonna what?

I don't know.
This is not my day.

Now, Sheriff Little
was on his way

having called for all
the local reinforcements.

Which turned out to be Enos.

Now, Enos didn't
believe for a minute

that Bo and Luke was
mixed up in that robbery.

But sworn to uphold the
law, he had to do his duty.

Shoot, they're coming
from all directions.

Any bright ideas?

I think we oughta arrange
a meeting of the minds.

Alright.

- They look alright.
- Yeah, alive and kickin'.

- Well, that's good.
- That ain't even done yet!

Well, doesn't make
any difference.

Listen, these things are
going faster than a scalded cat.

And Boss can use just as
many as you can crank out.

Some of 'em are
a little damp, yet.

Well, don't worry about it.

Say, uh, by the way, er,
you ever catch 'em crooks

that robbed that armored truck?

No, but I expect arrest
within, oh... 24 hours.

I was sure Bo and Luke
would have gotten 'em by now.

Well, I may as well
start another one.

I didn't get them pink
flowers in last time anyway.

Things are gettin'
weirder and weirder.

'Cooter comin' at you
Uncle Shepherd, Lost Sheep'

'giddy y'all home into Hazzard,
there, anybody home. Come on.'

You got Lost Sheep.
Where you at?

Well, had to make a
detour to clean up the mess

y'all made over there
at the crossroads.

I picked up that blue
sedan that was chasin' y'all.

Got a little dent in
it, and guess what?

Bet she's a light color
underneath, right?

You done and guessed it.

Hang on a second.

This is all startin'
to make sense.

Yeah. Yeah, supposin' you
just robbed an armored truck

and you heard some big
sheriff was after two fellas

and thought they
did it, what'd you do?

- Try and pin it on them.
- Yeah, well, them is us.

Cooter, we'll be at the
garage in a few minutes.

'See you then.'

Well, I am down and gone, y'all.

See you at the
station, you hear?

There was lots of dust on
the road between us and them

but sure looks like
the same color to me.

Well, the right taillight's out.

They can claim that
happened when they racked up.

They can claim that, but
they racked up on the left side.

The left taillight's
still workin'.

Which means the right was
busted before the accident.

Even if this is the car
and they are the crooks

doesn't prove they
did it, and you didn't.

We could always
give ourselves up.

And he calls me crazy.

Now, wait a minute,
the money ain't in the car

so they've stashed it some place

until they figured it was
safe for 'em to go get it.

If we give ourselves up
and make that well known..

- They'd go get it.
- And we could follow 'em.

- Exactly.
- Where are they are now?

Down there in Rachel's
cafe, drinkin' coffee

and waitin' on me
to finish up the car.

Well, when they show
up, you know what to do.

Come on, Bo, let's go to jail.

'Good news. Hey, Boss.'

Look at these.
These are doozies.

And they're fresh off the easel.

- Oh! Let me see that.
- Yeah, look at that.

- Why, that's Hazzard Pond.
- Yeah, you guessed it. Ooh.

- I'll know it anywhere.
- Yeah.

- That's beautiful!
- Yeah.

And I tell you,
these two paintings

they oughta bring
a pretty penny.

Oh, a pretty..

- Hey, Boss.
- Ah!

We got some news. Me and
Bo are turnin' ourselves in.

- Are you kiddin'?
- Nope.

'Well, alright.'

Don't stand there,
cuff 'em and stuff 'em.

Oh, here, hold this.

'Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!'

Rosco, look what
you've done to my clothes

with these new paintings.

- Yeah, it's a mess.
- New paintings?

- No, I didn't say new.
- He didn't say new.

- I said... two.
- Two.

If you said two, then how come

this paintin' of Hazzard
Pond is still wet?

'Cause Artie Bender
just painted it, that's why.

Think we're gonna
change our mind..

It didn't look like anything

was gonna stand in
Bo and Luke's way now.

Better believe they don't have
these problems when they want

to get paintings for the Louvre.

That's art gallery,
for all you folks

who ain't got no culture.

Alright, ya'll haul back right
on up into this holdin' cell

you just came out of.

Get off of me! Get off of me!

- Listen, Artie is alive.
- We know where he is, too.

Well, that's good.

Y'all follow them crooks
just like we planned.

Stay on the emergency
channel. We'll talk later.

Don't look at me. I'm
as confused as you.

'Hurry! Hurry! Come on.'

'Come on. Come on.'

We gotta catch 'em
before they find find Artie

or else we're gonna
blow a fortune.

Well, listen, Boss, listen.
Don't worry, little fat buddy.

I mean there's no way they
can tell where we hid Bender.

Even if Artie's alive,
he can be anywhere.

You saw that painting Boss
smeared all over his front side.

- Yeah.
- Hazzard Pond.

Come on! Come on, will you?

We're all set, gents.

She is ready to roll.

How much do we owe you?

Oh, just about...$20.

- Appreciate it.
- Okay.

Maybe with this we can get
Bo and Luke outta the slammer.

Oh, I think it's gonna
take more than that

to get 'em out of jail.

When them dudes what
like to make citizens arrest

showed up for their car,
Jesse, Daisy and Cooter

shucked 'em pretty good
into believin' that Bo and Luke

was already in the
sheriff's custody.

Which wouldn't
work in a lot of places.

Headin' west for Chickasaw.

Just like Luke said,
headed right for the money.

Oh, uh, Cooter, you stay here

keep your ears on,
in case we need you.

10-4.

Things was just
comin' to an end.

Jesse and Daisy
tailin' 'em crooks.

And Bo and Luke was
headin' for the Hazzard pond.

Where old Artie had
just felt an inspiration

to do his next painting
in the ceiling of the barn.

'Gainin' on us.'

Can't let 'em do that,
can we? Hang on.

'Ah!'

Dang blast it! What're
you stoppin' here for?

Oh, well, to tell
you the truth, Boss

with your extra
weight in the vehicle

I don't think I can make it.

Coltrane, they's my prisoners.

Now, which way did they go?

Listen, y'all got ten seconds
to tell me which way they went

or I'll tell you which
way you're going.

- You mean..
- Uh. uh, uh..

Lost Sheep, are you out there?

'This is Bo Peep
callin' in. Come on.'

Yeah, that's a big 10-4. We're
on our way to Hazzard Pond.

Got a good idea
that's where Artie is.

Them fellas make a move yet?

Sure did. Just
like you said, Luke.

Well, now, don't
move in on 'em yet.

Sit tight, wait till
Luke and I get there.

- We can back you up.
- You bet. We're gone.

Let's just go
follow 'em. Let's go.

There's Hazzard
Pond, dead ahead.

'There's Artie Bender,
alive and kickin"

and doin' what he does best.

'Hey, Artie.'

- Hey, hey, hey.
- Hey!

- How are you?
- Boy, are we glad to see you!

Well, from here
it looks like things

are workin' out real fine.

But over here, I wish
I could say the same.

'It's over here.'

Take this.

Aah! Aah! Aah!

'Hold it!'

'Lost Sheep to Shepherd,
you got your ears on?'

'Come back.'

'Lost Sheep to
Shepherd and Bo Beep.'

'Ya'll hear me out there?'

You lied to us, Pops.

They said them two
was in the slammer.

And waltzed us
right into a trap.

- Figurin' we'd get the dough.
- Which you did.

Listen, if y'all can
hear me, we found Artie

and he can identify them crooks.

'Repeat, Artie can identify
them crooks. He's alive.'

Now, we're smack back on it.

Lost Sheep to Bo
Beep or Shepherd.

You out there? Can you hear me?

They must not
be able to read us.

Could mean they had to
leave the CB to tail 'em crooks.

Yeah.

Or the crooks seen them first.

Dukes got a sixth sense
when one of 'em's in trouble.

And ol' Luke was
cookin' on all six burners.

Trouble was, them sheriff cars

was burning up
the roads as well.

Hang on.

- 'Okay.'
- Never mind about me.

Get somebody on
the CB. Get the boys.

Luke, Bo, listen, the crooks
just took off with the loot.

'Heading east on ol' Post Road.'

That's a 10-4. Read
you loud and clear.

We should have taken
them two with us as hostages.

You got any idea
what a kidnap rap is

compared to armed robbery?

- What?
- Life!

You know, if they had a band

they'd have a
pretty fair parade.

Sheriff Little didn't even duck

when he got shot
at. He just got mad.

Plumb forgot about the Dukes.

Talk about a firecracker
lit at both ends.

- 'Dang it, Luke.'
- 'Hang on.'

The Dukes figured
they'd help Sheriff Little out

by getting in front and
cutting off them crooks.

Besides, that was a lot
better than being in the middle

of a shootout.

Just wait a minute.

- See that?
- We got 'em.

- We got 'em.
- That's a naughty, naughty..

Well, I'd say
that did the trick.

Thanks to the Dukes
and Artie as an eyewitness

Sheriff Little had the
real crooks in custody.

They're the ones that did it.

Boss couldn't wait to make
old Artie take back his paintings.

He demanded Artie to
pay what he owed him.

The Dukes offered Artie the
reward money they'd collected

but Artie didn't need it.

You see, that art dealer wanted
everything Artie could paint

dead or alive.

So, Artie not only
could pay old Boss off

but he was set for life himself.

Please accept that.
You're a great man, sir.

Boss got the $112
old Artie owed him

and that was all he got.

As for the Dukes

well, they got something
that money couldn't buy.

An original family portrait
painted by that great artist..

Artie Bender, of Hazzard County.