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0
00:00:01,188 --> 00:00:03,622
- [ Chewing Noises ]
- [ Laughs ]
1
00:00:03,691 --> 00:00:05,989
Hey, honey. How's your
art history paper goin'?
2
00:00:06,060 --> 00:00:09,427
- Great. I finally figured out how to do it.
- How?
3
00:00:09,497 --> 00:00:12,057
- I'm dropping the class.
- There you go.
4
00:00:15,236 --> 00:00:20,105
Oh, gimme that baby.
Come here, sweetheart. Ooh.
5
00:00:20,174 --> 00:00:22,574
- Mom, are you okay?
- Oh, darlin'.
6
00:00:22,643 --> 00:00:25,407
Whoops, bad time.
7
00:00:25,479 --> 00:00:27,470
Oh, come here, you.
8
00:00:29,083 --> 00:00:31,483
Mrs. H, what is goin' on?
You're freakin' us out.
9
00:00:31,552 --> 00:00:33,611
Wait till she hugs you.
10
00:00:35,523 --> 00:00:38,287
[ Sighs ]
I'm okay.
11
00:00:38,359 --> 00:00:40,350
What is going on?
12
00:00:40,428 --> 00:00:44,262
You know, have you ever heard that
expression, when your life flashes before ya?
13
00:00:44,332 --> 00:00:47,631
- Of course.
- It happens to her every time
she takes a math test.
14
00:00:47,702 --> 00:00:50,102
Come here, honey baby.
15
00:00:51,772 --> 00:00:54,605
I was on the corner
of Oak and Huntington.
16
00:00:54,675 --> 00:00:56,666
-And the light goes green.
- Yeah.
17
00:00:56,744 --> 00:00:59,611
And I hit the gas to go,
and my car stalls.
18
00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:02,547
Your car stalls and your life
flashes before your eyes?
19
00:01:03,918 --> 00:01:06,546
When you get a flat
do angels come dance on the hood?
20
00:01:06,621 --> 00:01:08,953
Will you listen?
21
00:01:09,023 --> 00:01:11,651
So my car stalls.
It just conks out right there.
22
00:01:11,726 --> 00:01:17,062
And two seconds later, this huge truck runs
the red light and rips through the intersection!
23
00:01:17,131 --> 00:01:18,860
- Oh, my gosh.
- Whoa.
24
00:01:18,933 --> 00:01:21,629
Yeah, " Oh, my gosh'' and " Whoa.''
25
00:01:21,702 --> 00:01:26,139
If my car hadn't stalled,
I'd be dead right now.
26
00:01:26,207 --> 00:01:28,675
- Oh, Mom.
- [ Sighs ]
27
00:01:28,743 --> 00:01:30,904
[ Van ]Oh, boy.
28
00:01:30,978 --> 00:01:35,210
Sometimes you just gotta thank the man
upstairs that you have a crappy car.
29
00:01:41,355 --> 00:01:43,050
[ Reba ]Ha, hey.!
30
00:01:43,124 --> 00:01:45,217
?? [ Singing ]
31
00:01:52,433 --> 00:01:55,231
?? [ Continues ]
32
00:02:05,413 --> 00:02:08,177
?? [ Ends ]
33
00:02:15,856 --> 00:02:19,952
- More soup, my little sweet darlin' daughter?
- No, thanks.
34
00:02:20,027 --> 00:02:21,961
Have I told you that I love ya?
35
00:02:22,029 --> 00:02:23,963
[ Exhales ]
36
00:02:24,031 --> 00:02:26,522
Yes. You have, Mom. All day.
37
00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:28,864
And last night, when you were
sitting next to my bed.
38
00:02:28,936 --> 00:02:30,870
[ Chuckles ]
39
00:02:30,938 --> 00:02:34,396
Well, it's just that if anything did,
God forbid, ever happen to me...
40
00:02:34,475 --> 00:02:36,466
I just wanna make sure
that you know I love you.
41
00:02:36,544 --> 00:02:38,739
I do. We all do.
42
00:02:38,813 --> 00:02:40,747
But it's got to stop.
43
00:02:40,815 --> 00:02:43,306
The love and the soup
has got to stop.
44
00:02:44,452 --> 00:02:46,545
Don't go, Kyra.
I made muffins.
45
00:02:47,555 --> 00:02:49,489
Honey.
46
00:02:51,392 --> 00:02:54,054
Van, why are there stickers
all over everything?
47
00:02:54,128 --> 00:02:59,395
Oh, no reason. You know,just, uh,
committing a little Van-dalism.
48
00:02:59,467 --> 00:03:01,492
[ Laughs ]
49
00:03:02,670 --> 00:03:05,264
Oh, come on, Mrs. H.
Throw me a little love.
50
00:03:05,339 --> 00:03:09,002
- What's with the stickers?
- I'm claiming stuff, you know, in case you die.
51
00:03:10,478 --> 00:03:13,413
Mom, you're not dying, are you?
52
00:03:13,481 --> 00:03:16,416
Of course not, honey.
53
00:03:16,484 --> 00:03:19,715
Good, 'cause when you die,
I won't have a place to sleep.
54
00:03:19,787 --> 00:03:21,778
Van put a sticker on my bed.
55
00:03:22,590 --> 00:03:24,353
What?
56
00:03:24,425 --> 00:03:28,452
Technically, it's not your bed,
Jake. It belongs to the estate.
57
00:03:29,697 --> 00:03:31,631
Van, go take
the sticker off his bed.
58
00:03:31,699 --> 00:03:33,223
Well, great.
59
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:36,861
Now I'm gonna have to get a job,
get rich and get my own race car bed!
60
00:03:37,872 --> 00:03:40,170
[ Gasps ]
Oh, Reba!
61
00:03:40,241 --> 00:03:43,768
You're alive! Ooh!
62
00:03:46,180 --> 00:03:49,274
- Oh, you're making me wish I wasn't.
- Oh.
63
00:03:49,350 --> 00:03:53,150
Hey, Reba. We heard
about what happened. Wow.
64
00:03:53,220 --> 00:03:55,051
Why are there stickers
all over everything?
65
00:03:55,122 --> 00:03:57,556
That's the kids' way
of claiming all my stuff.
66
00:03:57,625 --> 00:04:00,958
Man, I should have thought
of that during our divorce.
67
00:04:02,797 --> 00:04:07,131
Um, excuse me, are-Are we talkin'
about death? 'Cause I don't want to.
68
00:04:07,201 --> 00:04:09,761
If you talk about it,
you're callin' it.
69
00:04:09,837 --> 00:04:14,137
You know,
"Say his name and he will come.''
70
00:04:14,208 --> 00:04:17,541
- Who are we callin'?
- Death.
71
00:04:17,611 --> 00:04:19,306
- Who?
- Death.
72
00:04:19,380 --> 00:04:21,348
- Say it again?
- Dea- Oh!
73
00:04:22,716 --> 00:04:25,412
Very funny, Reba.
Very funny.
74
00:04:25,486 --> 00:04:28,216
Hey, did I ever tell you when I was
a kid, we had a dog named Death?
75
00:04:28,289 --> 00:04:30,689
- Oh, my-
- Yeah, he got lost all the time.
76
00:04:30,758 --> 00:04:33,556
- We was always outside going,
"Here, Death. Here, Death.''
- Stop it. Stop it.
77
00:04:33,627 --> 00:04:36,721
" Hey, Death. Here, Death!''
[ Whistles ] " Come and get it, Death!''
78
00:04:36,797 --> 00:04:39,095
Ha-ha.
79
00:04:39,166 --> 00:04:41,225
You just keep laughin', Reba.
80
00:04:41,302 --> 00:04:44,863
But you're creatin' some
real bad mojo here.
81
00:04:44,939 --> 00:04:46,702
[ Sputters ]
82
00:04:51,912 --> 00:04:57,509
She's afraid of death, yet she walks
right in here to my house?
83
00:04:57,585 --> 00:05:00,076
- I'm making up a will. You should too.
- Oh, I already did.
84
00:05:00,154 --> 00:05:04,113
What? You're actually doin' somethin'
adult and responsible?
85
00:05:04,191 --> 00:05:07,422
It really wasn't that hard. I just put
Barbra Jean in charge of everything.
86
00:05:07,494 --> 00:05:09,359
Oh, you-
You mean her half.
87
00:05:09,430 --> 00:05:12,957
No. No, everything.
I mean, it just made sense.
88
00:05:13,033 --> 00:05:15,297
The way I eat,
she's bound to outlive me.
89
00:05:15,369 --> 00:05:18,532
I mean, I've already had three hot dogs
today. It's not even noon.
90
00:05:18,606 --> 00:05:22,599
But I don't trust her.
I mean, your-your practice?
91
00:05:22,676 --> 00:05:26,407
Your retirement fund?
Your life insurance policy?
92
00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:29,938
All that goes to Barbra Jean and my kids
just get a big ol' pile of squat?
93
00:05:30,017 --> 00:05:33,077
[ Chuckles ]
Reba, Barbra Jean will be very fair.
94
00:05:33,153 --> 00:05:35,986
Have you ever seen her cut a cake?
Every slice, exactly the same.
95
00:05:36,056 --> 00:05:37,990
- Brock-
- No, Reba.
96
00:05:38,058 --> 00:05:41,994
It's already been decided.
Hey, it's my stuff. It's my decision.
97
00:05:42,062 --> 00:05:44,622
And there really isnothin'you can do about it.
98
00:05:44,698 --> 00:05:47,292
[ Sputters ]
99
00:05:54,875 --> 00:05:58,140
Oh, yes, there is
something I can do about it.
100
00:05:58,212 --> 00:06:00,407
Death spared me
for a reason.
101
00:06:06,654 --> 00:06:09,487
The family meeting
is called to order.
102
00:06:09,556 --> 00:06:13,253
We're here to discuss what to do with the
house in the event of Mrs. H's passing.
103
00:06:13,327 --> 00:06:15,795
I say we keep the house,
live in it, maybe put a pool in.
104
00:06:15,863 --> 00:06:18,093
Count me out.
You two can buy me out of my third.
105
00:06:18,165 --> 00:06:20,827
Hang on a sec.
Van? Huddle.
106
00:06:24,872 --> 00:06:28,501
Careful. With all this brain power comin'
together we don't want to start a fire.
107
00:06:30,544 --> 00:06:32,535
Can we afford to buy her
out of her third?
108
00:06:32,613 --> 00:06:34,672
Yeah, but we're gonna
have to sell ours first.
109
00:06:38,686 --> 00:06:40,950
We're gonna have to trick her.
110
00:06:41,021 --> 00:06:44,548
Kyra, we're gonna put it to a vote.
111
00:06:44,625 --> 00:06:49,119
All in favor of keeping
the house, raise your hand. [ Laughs ]
112
00:06:50,564 --> 00:06:52,623
[ Grunts ]
113
00:06:53,634 --> 00:06:55,829
- Sorry, Kyra. We win.
- [ Sighs ]
114
00:06:55,903 --> 00:06:57,962
Van isn't Mom's child.
He doesn't get a vote.
115
00:06:58,038 --> 00:06:59,972
The vote is tied one to one.
116
00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:03,771
- [ Exhales ]
- That's how you try to trick her?
117
00:07:05,079 --> 00:07:06,671
And here comes
the swing vote now.
118
00:07:06,747 --> 00:07:10,080
- Aw.
- Oh,Jake?
- Yes, Kyra?
119
00:07:10,150 --> 00:07:13,119
Jake, if Mom
perishes unexpectedly...
120
00:07:13,187 --> 00:07:15,121
should we sell the house
and split the money...
121
00:07:15,189 --> 00:07:17,248
or should we keep it
and live in it?
122
00:07:17,324 --> 00:07:19,349
- Sell.
- Good boy.
123
00:07:19,426 --> 00:07:23,226
- What'd she offer you?
- A dirt bike. I mean-
124
00:07:23,297 --> 00:07:28,257
Jake, if you vote with us, we'll give you
a dirt bike and a new Xbox.
125
00:07:28,335 --> 00:07:30,269
Mm-hmm.
126
00:07:30,337 --> 00:07:33,033
Dirt bike, Xbox, and that
baseball glove you thought you lost.
127
00:07:33,107 --> 00:07:35,701
- Whatever Kyra says plus a monkey.
- A monkey!
128
00:07:37,444 --> 00:07:38,934
Ahh.
129
00:07:39,013 --> 00:07:41,504
Jake, they might be able to
give you more, but I can protect you.
130
00:07:41,582 --> 00:07:43,447
Who does he need
protection from, Kyra?
131
00:07:43,517 --> 00:07:44,745
Me.
132
00:07:46,887 --> 00:07:50,414
-Jake, don't worry about it.
I'll protect you from Kyra.
- Yeah.
133
00:08:08,742 --> 00:08:12,269
- [ Knocking ]
- Okay.
134
00:08:15,449 --> 00:08:19,681
I'm comin'. Yeah.
135
00:08:21,021 --> 00:08:22,955
Oh, hey, Reba!
136
00:08:23,023 --> 00:08:24,718
Ooh, no hug. Wet nails.
[ Laughs ]
137
00:08:24,792 --> 00:08:27,761
Don't worry.
138
00:08:27,828 --> 00:08:30,228
How did you open the door?
139
00:08:30,297 --> 00:08:32,231
Oh, with my foot.
140
00:08:32,299 --> 00:08:34,392
I also taught myself to pick up
a pencil and sign my name.
141
00:08:34,468 --> 00:08:37,437
You know, in case I lose my arms.
Just, ooh.
142
00:08:39,406 --> 00:08:41,340
- You wanna see?
- Might smudge.
143
00:08:41,408 --> 00:08:44,809
[ Chuckles ] Ah, see? That's why
you got the high school diploma.
144
00:08:44,878 --> 00:08:47,745
- Yeah.
- [ Chuckles ] So, what's up?
145
00:08:47,815 --> 00:08:50,784
Well, Brock told me he was leaving
everything to you in his will.
146
00:08:50,851 --> 00:08:54,651
Ooh. Ugh, no death talk. I can't
ward off evil till my topcoat dries.
147
00:08:54,721 --> 00:08:55,983
[ Laughs ]
148
00:08:56,056 --> 00:08:59,924
Well, you know, Barbra Jean,
it's not that I distrust you.
149
00:08:59,993 --> 00:09:03,429
It's just that I don't trust you.
You do see the difference, don't you?
150
00:09:03,497 --> 00:09:06,933
So, I wanted to get everything
in writing before Brock-
151
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:11,869
- Takes a little journey.
- [ Laughs ] Fine.
152
00:09:11,939 --> 00:09:17,844
Ah, when he goes on his journey, I want to
make sure that my kids are provided for fairly.
153
00:09:17,911 --> 00:09:21,438
Oh, Reba. That's not gonna be a problem.
Have I never served you cake?
154
00:09:21,515 --> 00:09:26,851
- [ Laughs ]
- Well, that's, uh, really not good enough for me.
155
00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:29,912
Well, Brock doesn't seem to have a problem
with me taking care of his family.
156
00:09:29,990 --> 00:09:32,823
Neither do the kids.
I mean, Kyra and I are very close.
157
00:09:32,893 --> 00:09:36,954
[ Laughs ]
Only because she knows it bugs me.
158
00:09:37,030 --> 00:09:38,190
And Jakey trusts me.
159
00:09:38,265 --> 00:09:41,291
He's eight. He understands you.
[ Laughs ]
160
00:09:41,368 --> 00:09:43,700
- Oh, it's so true.
- Yeah.
161
00:09:43,770 --> 00:09:45,704
Uh, but seriously, Barbra Jean.
162
00:09:45,772 --> 00:09:47,899
It's Van and Cheyenne who
have the most at stake here.
163
00:09:47,975 --> 00:09:49,909
I mean, they've got a family now.
164
00:09:49,977 --> 00:09:54,073
And I'm pretty sure they don't feel
comfortable leavin' their future in your hands.
165
00:09:54,148 --> 00:09:55,809
Well, I happen to know
that's not true.
166
00:09:55,883 --> 00:09:58,716
Well, they have a baby
to think about now.
167
00:09:58,785 --> 00:10:02,152
And I-I know that they want to make sure
that Elizabeth will be taken care of.
168
00:10:02,222 --> 00:10:04,281
And obviously they
trust me to do that.
169
00:10:04,358 --> 00:10:07,259
Otherwise they wouldn't have
left Elizabeth to Brock and I.
170
00:10:20,507 --> 00:10:22,168
What?
171
00:10:23,410 --> 00:10:25,378
You know, in the event
of their little journey?
172
00:10:25,445 --> 00:10:28,243
- What-What did you say?
-Journey.
173
00:10:28,315 --> 00:10:30,510
- No, before that.
- Little.
174
00:10:30,584 --> 00:10:32,575
Barbra Jean!
175
00:10:32,653 --> 00:10:37,386
Okay. Van and Cheyenne made
Brock and I Elizabeth's guardians.
176
00:10:37,457 --> 00:10:39,891
[ Laughs ]
Yeah.
177
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:43,361
They left Elizabeth to you and Brock
instead of me? I don't think so.
178
00:10:43,430 --> 00:10:45,591
It's true.
179
00:10:47,100 --> 00:10:48,829
Oh, hey, Reba.
180
00:10:48,902 --> 00:10:52,565
Gee, maybe I should have played nine more
holes, let you hens finish your cluckin'.
181
00:10:52,639 --> 00:10:54,129
[ Laughs ]
182
00:10:54,208 --> 00:10:58,235
Maybe not.
So, uh, what's going on?
183
00:10:58,312 --> 00:11:01,042
Oh, I'm just listenin'
to a few fairy tales.
184
00:11:01,114 --> 00:11:05,141
Barbra Jean claims that Van and Cheyenne
are gonna leave Elizabeth to you guys...
185
00:11:05,219 --> 00:11:07,210
in case somethin' happens to 'em.
186
00:11:07,287 --> 00:11:08,811
[ Laughs ]
She did?
187
00:11:08,889 --> 00:11:10,880
- Yeah.
- [ All Laugh ]
188
00:11:10,958 --> 00:11:14,257
Barbra Jean, honey...
189
00:11:14,328 --> 00:11:16,262
you weren't supposed
to do that.
190
00:11:17,798 --> 00:11:20,266
Not while she's in our house
where she can break things.
191
00:11:21,969 --> 00:11:24,494
Well, I'm sorry.
192
00:11:24,571 --> 00:11:28,507
But I'm glad it's out.
I don't like keepin' secrets from Reba.
193
00:11:28,575 --> 00:11:32,067
Oh, by the way, I'm the one
that broke your lamp.
194
00:11:32,145 --> 00:11:35,911
- I was trying to work a yo-yo.
- Wait a minute! Is this true?
195
00:11:35,983 --> 00:11:39,419
Yeah, it's true.
I'm not very good with a yo-yo.
196
00:11:39,486 --> 00:11:42,785
I can always get it to go down,
but I can never seem to bring it back up.
197
00:11:42,856 --> 00:11:45,791
Not about the lamp you're
gonna replace, you dingbat.
198
00:11:46,994 --> 00:11:49,622
They're leaving
my granddaughter to you?
199
00:11:49,696 --> 00:11:51,755
Look- Look, Reba.
Don't get all upset.
200
00:11:51,832 --> 00:11:54,300
Oh! Why should I get upset?
201
00:11:54,368 --> 00:11:58,634
Just because the children that I raised don't
think I'm good enough to raise their child?
202
00:11:58,705 --> 00:12:00,969
Well, Reba of course you are.
203
00:12:01,041 --> 00:12:03,009
You know what? I got a fix.
204
00:12:03,076 --> 00:12:08,013
If anything were to happen toVan and Cheyenne, God forbid-[ Sputters ]
205
00:12:09,683 --> 00:12:15,121
And if Brock and I were to-
[ Hums, Chokes, Sputters ]
206
00:12:18,191 --> 00:12:20,182
And, honey,
I do hope we go together.
207
00:12:20,260 --> 00:12:22,023
Me too.
208
00:12:23,096 --> 00:12:25,496
Then you would get Elizabeth.
209
00:12:25,565 --> 00:12:28,796
All right. Let's all calm down.
And by all, I mean Reba.
210
00:12:28,869 --> 00:12:30,996
I am not about to calm down!
211
00:12:31,071 --> 00:12:33,005
My kids have made
a huge mistake!
212
00:12:33,073 --> 00:12:35,200
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold on here a second.
213
00:12:35,275 --> 00:12:37,209
Now, she's my granddaughter too.
214
00:12:37,277 --> 00:12:39,643
And there are two of us
to take care of her.
215
00:12:39,713 --> 00:12:44,309
Oh, yeah. Right. But one of you
is off her rocker! I won't say which one!
216
00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:48,579
Oh, I know she thinks it's me.
217
00:12:49,756 --> 00:12:52,486
Of course it's you!
It's always you.
218
00:12:54,628 --> 00:12:58,064
No sane person
has 400 Beanie Babies!
219
00:12:58,131 --> 00:13:01,259
Excuse me, 41 2!
220
00:13:01,335 --> 00:13:03,496
And that doesn't make me crazy.
221
00:13:03,570 --> 00:13:07,506
That makes me the secretary of
the Whole Bunch of Beanie Babies Club.
222
00:13:07,574 --> 00:13:10,839
Well, is this your password?
[ Lips Vibrate ]
223
00:13:14,581 --> 00:13:19,883
Reba, I am well aware of all
the silly little things I do. [ Chuckles ]
224
00:13:19,953 --> 00:13:23,013
If I wasn't, I'd be insane.
225
00:13:25,926 --> 00:13:30,057
That's your argument?
"I know I'm insane, so I'm not insane''?
226
00:13:30,191 --> 00:13:31,556
Oh!
227
00:13:31,626 --> 00:13:34,595
At least I don't go around expectin'
to get my children's children...
228
00:13:34,662 --> 00:13:37,597
in the event they-
[ Hums, Sputters ]
229
00:13:40,668 --> 00:13:44,502
And if you want to see insane, why
don't you run on down to the state fair...
230
00:13:44,572 --> 00:13:47,336
and get your portrait drawn
and take a gander, peaches?
231
00:13:47,408 --> 00:13:50,639
- Whoa. Hey, hey, Barbra Jean.
- [ Laughs ]
232
00:13:50,711 --> 00:13:53,612
Well, if you want
another baby so bad,just wait.
233
00:13:53,681 --> 00:13:57,082
I'm sure Brock will let you spend time
with the one he has with his next wife!
234
00:13:57,151 --> 00:13:59,142
[ Gasps ]
Oh. Hurtful!
235
00:13:59,220 --> 00:14:01,347
All right, Reba.
I think that's enough.
236
00:14:01,422 --> 00:14:03,686
I'm afraid I'm gonna have
to ask you to leave...
237
00:14:03,758 --> 00:14:05,692
without breaking anything.
238
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:08,593
Fine. But this is not over.
239
00:14:09,764 --> 00:14:12,324
[ Gasps ]
240
00:14:14,001 --> 00:14:16,367
Fix that with your toes.
241
00:14:21,342 --> 00:14:24,334
- Hello, Kyra.
- Oh, Kyra.
242
00:14:24,412 --> 00:14:28,212
Why the happy faces? Finally figure out
where babies come from?
243
00:14:30,051 --> 00:14:32,679
- No.
- We talked to a law professor at the university.
244
00:14:32,753 --> 00:14:36,280
And unless we all agree,
you can't sell the house.
245
00:14:36,357 --> 00:14:39,224
The law, Kyra. As in jail?
246
00:14:40,895 --> 00:14:45,025
We could have you arrested.
So we're not sellin' the house.
247
00:14:45,099 --> 00:14:46,566
Okay.
248
00:14:46,634 --> 00:14:48,795
Okay?
249
00:14:48,870 --> 00:14:50,804
Yeah, okay.
250
00:14:50,872 --> 00:14:53,898
'Cause I was thinking about it anyway,
and I decided I was being selfish.
251
00:14:53,975 --> 00:14:57,968
You guys deserve the house.In fact, I want to give my share to you.
252
00:14:58,045 --> 00:14:59,979
- Really?
- Yeah.
253
00:15:00,047 --> 00:15:03,483
You guys have Elizabeth and you need
a place to live. So the house is yours.
254
00:15:03,551 --> 00:15:06,884
Wow, Kyra. That is so cool.
255
00:15:06,954 --> 00:15:09,514
You know, you can come over
anytime you want.
256
00:15:09,590 --> 00:15:13,492
Not so fast. Van, huddle.
257
00:15:18,065 --> 00:15:19,999
Do you notice anything
weird about her?
258
00:15:20,067 --> 00:15:22,092
- Like, she's being nice? This is a trap.
- Hmm.
259
00:15:24,338 --> 00:15:25,999
[ Laughs ]
260
00:15:26,073 --> 00:15:28,098
- She is being nice, isn't she?
- Yes.
261
00:15:28,175 --> 00:15:30,109
Man, she's good.
262
00:15:31,412 --> 00:15:34,176
She's trying to stick us
with this house. But why?
263
00:15:34,248 --> 00:15:37,547
Well, maybe something's wrong with it.
Like toxic mold.
264
00:15:37,618 --> 00:15:40,280
Or there's a portal
to hell in the basement.
265
00:15:40,354 --> 00:15:44,950
- We don't have a basement, Van.
- Then it's gotta be the mold.
266
00:15:45,026 --> 00:15:46,220
I'm gonna handle this.
267
00:15:50,031 --> 00:15:51,862
- We pass.
- What?
268
00:15:51,933 --> 00:15:55,369
Tryin' to give us part of
the house. Nice try, Kyra.
269
00:15:55,436 --> 00:15:59,566
Okay, but I don't feel right
profiting from Mom's untimely death.
270
00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:03,098
So, if you won't take it,
I'm giving my share toJake.
271
00:16:03,177 --> 00:16:07,045
Two can play at that game.
Jake, you get our share of the house too.
272
00:16:07,114 --> 00:16:09,548
I own the whole house?
273
00:16:09,617 --> 00:16:11,585
Congratulations!
274
00:16:11,652 --> 00:16:13,882
- Sucker.
- [ Scoffs ]
275
00:16:13,955 --> 00:16:16,890
Enjoy your mansion.
[ Laughs ]
276
00:16:16,958 --> 00:16:22,260
You know,Jake, you don't get the house
until Mom's gone, right?
277
00:16:22,330 --> 00:16:27,825
Well, like she told you before, that
won't be for a very long, long, long time.
278
00:16:27,902 --> 00:16:29,836
So?
279
00:16:29,904 --> 00:16:32,896
So, wouldn't you rather
have this dollar today?
280
00:16:32,974 --> 00:16:36,910
Okay. Can I keep my bed?
281
00:16:36,978 --> 00:16:39,105
Sure, but it'll cost you a dollar.
282
00:16:39,180 --> 00:16:41,080
Thanks, Kyra.
283
00:16:47,521 --> 00:16:50,820
I almost felt bad that time.
284
00:16:56,731 --> 00:17:00,030
- Van, do you ever think about dying?
- Sure.
285
00:17:00,101 --> 00:17:02,934
- Well, how do you wanna go?
- Naked.
286
00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:07,774
Why?
287
00:17:07,842 --> 00:17:10,276
It's how I came in.
288
00:17:11,612 --> 00:17:13,705
- [ Sighs ]
- Hey, Mom.
289
00:17:13,781 --> 00:17:16,147
" Mom.'' Interesting term.
290
00:17:16,217 --> 00:17:19,186
Sounds like someone you can trust.
291
00:17:19,253 --> 00:17:22,848
- So, are you guys goin' out Saturday night?
- If you can still babysit.
292
00:17:22,923 --> 00:17:26,051
Well, I'd love to.
But are you sure I'm good enough?
293
00:17:26,127 --> 00:17:28,687
Wouldn't you be more comfortable
with Brock and Barbra Jean?
294
00:17:28,763 --> 00:17:30,458
We asked them already.
They're busy.
295
00:17:30,531 --> 00:17:33,329
[ Chuckles ]
296
00:17:33,401 --> 00:17:35,426
Let's cut the playin' around, okay?
297
00:17:35,503 --> 00:17:38,631
I know I'm not Elizabeth's guardian.
298
00:17:38,706 --> 00:17:40,333
- Oh.
- Whoops.
299
00:17:40,408 --> 00:17:44,037
Yeah, " Oh'' and " Whoops.''
Why didn't you tell me?
300
00:17:44,111 --> 00:17:46,602
Well, we figured if we didn't die
it wouldn't matter...
301
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:51,811
and if we did die, you know, we wouldn't care
if you were mad at us, 'cause we'd be dead.
302
00:17:51,886 --> 00:17:54,582
Did I do somethin' wrong?
303
00:17:54,655 --> 00:17:58,591
Was it the constant babysittin'
or lettin' you live here rent free?
304
00:17:58,659 --> 00:18:00,627
Oh, I know what it was.
305
00:18:00,694 --> 00:18:05,791
It has to be the unconditional love. I knew
that was a mistake! Dumb, dumb, dumb.
306
00:18:05,866 --> 00:18:09,165
Oh, no, no. Mrs. H. Don't beat
yourself up. Those are good things.
307
00:18:09,236 --> 00:18:12,933
Oh. Well, then please explain it to me.
308
00:18:13,007 --> 00:18:16,340
Because as far as I'm concerned, this is
the seventh game of the World Series of stupid.
309
00:18:16,410 --> 00:18:18,344
And you guys have just hit a home run!
310
00:18:20,081 --> 00:18:22,015
World Series of stupid?
311
00:18:22,083 --> 00:18:27,521
First you yank us around about this
babysitting thing and then you rip on baseball.
312
00:18:27,588 --> 00:18:30,614
Okay. Well, maybe
I shouldn't have said that.
313
00:18:30,691 --> 00:18:32,090
Oh, I can't hear her, Van.
314
00:18:32,159 --> 00:18:35,617
- Because it is game seven,
and the fans are screamin'.
- Mm-hmm.
315
00:18:35,696 --> 00:18:39,598
And I'm havin' a hot dog, only I forgot
to put onions on it, so it's not so great!
316
00:18:41,202 --> 00:18:44,638
Okay, guys. Come on.
Sit down here. Come on.
317
00:18:44,705 --> 00:18:49,199
Look. When I first found out about it, it
felt like I'd been punched in the stomach.
318
00:18:49,276 --> 00:18:52,734
I guess I just assumed that you guys
would want Elizabeth to be with me.
319
00:18:53,848 --> 00:18:55,782
Please tell me you thought this through.
320
00:18:55,850 --> 00:18:58,785
- We did.
- You couldn't have!
321
00:18:59,954 --> 00:19:02,388
I swear we thought it through.
322
00:19:02,456 --> 00:19:05,892
That may have been the problem.
323
00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:09,760
Van and I talked about it, and you were
the logical first choice to take Elizabeth.
324
00:19:09,830 --> 00:19:11,821
So far we agree.
325
00:19:11,899 --> 00:19:15,494
But the more we got into it, all we could
talk about is how great you are with her...
326
00:19:15,569 --> 00:19:17,503
and what a wonderful
influence you are.
327
00:19:17,571 --> 00:19:19,903
I can change!
I'll teach her to smoke!
328
00:19:19,974 --> 00:19:25,537
No, no, no. See, you've given up a big chunk
of your own life to help raise our daughter.
329
00:19:25,613 --> 00:19:30,482
Yes, and because you've done so much, the
thought of you being stuck raising a baby-
330
00:19:30,551 --> 00:19:33,748
- It was too much.
- Yeah. I don't know
if you think about this much, Mrs. H...
331
00:19:33,821 --> 00:19:37,655
but raising a baby
is a huge responsibility.
332
00:19:41,495 --> 00:19:45,795
We just thought that you deserved
a chance to be a real grandma...
333
00:19:45,866 --> 00:19:48,926
and not a full-time mother.
334
00:19:49,003 --> 00:19:50,766
We did it as a gift for you.
335
00:19:50,838 --> 00:19:55,639
[ Exhales ]
Oh. You two kids.
336
00:19:55,709 --> 00:19:58,872
That's the stupidest thing
I ever heard in my life!
337
00:19:58,946 --> 00:20:00,777
What?
338
00:20:00,848 --> 00:20:03,373
There is nothing that that baby
could take away from my life.
339
00:20:03,450 --> 00:20:05,384
She only adds to it.
340
00:20:05,452 --> 00:20:08,444
I mean, it's not like
she's gonna be a baby forever.
341
00:20:08,522 --> 00:20:11,286
I knew we should have talked
about this with your mom.
342
00:20:12,359 --> 00:20:15,556
- We messed up, huh?
- I guess you did.
343
00:20:15,629 --> 00:20:17,563
Mom, I don't know
what to say.
344
00:20:17,631 --> 00:20:21,123
I mean, we can't tell Dad and Barbra Jean
that we changed our minds.
345
00:20:21,202 --> 00:20:24,535
I agree.Just put it in the will
that I get her...
346
00:20:24,605 --> 00:20:27,165
and I'll deal with it after
you take your little journey.
347
00:20:29,643 --> 00:20:31,577
- Thanks, Mom.
- You're welcome.
348
00:20:31,645 --> 00:20:34,341
Mmm.
I'm okay.
349
00:21:09,416 --> 00:21:12,351
Acme.![ Coughing ]
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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