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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
๏ปฟ1
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_
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When an infection destroys a cell,
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the surrounding cells signal
each other to wall it off.
4
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"Help. I just had a
Nissen fundoplication,
5
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and I can't swallow.
What's happening to me?
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Are you you?
7
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Or are you still a 50-year-old
man with achalasia?
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- It doesn't say.
- Um...
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They isolate the infected cell
to prevent it from spreading
10
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and harming other parts of your body.
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Do you think they'll ever
talk to each other again?
12
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Don't know. Don't care.
13
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As long as they finish
their procedure logs.
14
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Besides, I'm too busy
rushing you back to the O.R.
15
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to loosen the wrap of your stomach.
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Correct. You get a fry.
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The isolation is
temporary, but important.
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I prefer the study technique
you used the other night.
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I'm not taking my clothes off here.
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It gives your body time to
trigger your immune system
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and stop the infection from spreading...
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Did you pick up those yogurt things
that Leo loves this morning?
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Sorry. An MVC came in.
24
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Hey, does Pru go through those phases
25
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where she'll only eat two things?
26
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We're at yogurt and graham crackers.
27
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Oh, we are at "I'm going to shove food
28
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under my plate and
pretend that I ate it."
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Any plans tonight, Bailey?
30
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Oh, I have plans.
I have plans to take a bath
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and not think about
interns for seven hours.
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And then I'm also going to... the pit.
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I'm going to the pit. Multiple traumas.
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Yeah. Me too. I'll page the interns.
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All right. I'll pick up
the yogurt. Good luck.
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Until isolation is no longer needed.
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You ready for tonight?
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I'm gonna make you an
offer you can't refuse.
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What is that? Godfather.
40
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Oh. It's movie night.
41
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Ugh! We're on call. We
should sleep when we can.
42
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How come every time I pick the movie,
43
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- you're too tired to watch?
- Not true!
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I sat through that whole baseball movie.
45
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I should get extra points for that.
46
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That was five weeks ago.
47
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- No, it was not!
- Yeah!
48
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It was three "Screams,"
one Jason Bourne,
49
00:02:02,104 --> 00:02:04,460
and "Pride of Yankees"
ago... five weeks.
50
00:02:06,402 --> 00:02:08,955
And... I'm late.
51
00:02:08,956 --> 00:02:10,370
For what?
52
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My period.
53
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- It's the E.R.
- Should we ignore it?
54
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- It's 911.
- So is this.
55
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I never thought I'd mean this literally,
56
00:02:27,261 --> 00:02:29,849
but I'm reading about a
bunch of random people's crap.
57
00:02:29,874 --> 00:02:32,358
Are all of these adult children
of people with Alzheimer's?
58
00:02:32,359 --> 00:02:35,155
Well, we need to confirm
certain bacteria in the gut.
59
00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:37,397
Our hypothesis will be even more solid.
60
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I'm going to need hard data
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if I'm ever going to
approach Catherine again.
62
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How can you eat while we're
analyzing these results?
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Becoming my mother
terrifies me that much.
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00:02:48,530 --> 00:02:50,376
Zola. "Can Ellis have ice cream?"
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No, she can't have ice
cream. It's so late.
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Parenting by text. I'm impressed.
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Well, it only works because
Zola's honest and mature.
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That's the part that's impressive.
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Nick is supposed to read Ellis a story.
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00:03:02,112 --> 00:03:03,768
Well, ask Nick.
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00:03:03,769 --> 00:03:05,874
Do you think fried rice
is anti-inflammatory?
72
00:03:07,374 --> 00:03:08,877
What if it's brown rice?
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00:03:09,128 --> 00:03:11,233
Nick took Bailey to the hospital.
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- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.MY-SUBS.com --
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I worked two nights ago,
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and I'm the only person with
my procedure card filled out.
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I should be at home
studying or sleeping or...
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00:03:27,345 --> 00:03:29,444
Ask your co-chief
resident for an exemption.
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- Coming through!
- Nice try.
80
00:03:33,109 --> 00:03:34,903
Oh, man.
81
00:03:35,179 --> 00:03:37,193
- What happened?
- Second-floor deck collapsed.
82
00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:39,701
Mostly minor lacerations
and musculoskeletal injuries,
83
00:03:39,702 --> 00:03:41,150
but we're still waiting on a few rigs.
84
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- They're all m...
- Medical students.
85
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They were having a white-coat party.
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They just got theirs.
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I remember that party. I got super d...
88
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dramatic...
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00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:50,125
about reaching another
milestone in my career.
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Everybody grab a chart.
It's gonna be a long night.
91
00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:55,268
- Come on.
- Oh!
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Hey, someone get him
a CBC. Type and screen.
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- And hemoglobin, stat.
- It's okay. I'm okay!
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00:04:00,895 --> 00:04:03,483
Mr. Oliver? That's me. Eddie.
95
00:04:03,484 --> 00:04:05,600
It looks like he dislocated
his left shoulder.
96
00:04:05,762 --> 00:04:09,765
So reduce it, get an MRI,
and page me with the results.
97
00:04:10,054 --> 00:04:11,767
So the X-ray showed it's not broken?
98
00:04:11,768 --> 00:04:14,287
Exactly. We'll do a local block,
and then I'll adduct your arm.
99
00:04:14,288 --> 00:04:15,944
You need any help?
100
00:04:16,406 --> 00:04:18,116
- Uh, Kwan said he'd help me.
- What?
101
00:04:19,051 --> 00:04:21,190
Oh. Yeah. I-I got it.
102
00:04:21,952 --> 00:04:23,952
Adams. Rigs are coming in. Grab a gown.
103
00:04:23,953 --> 00:04:25,125
Yeah.
104
00:04:27,310 --> 00:04:28,795
- What are we doing?
- Thank you.
105
00:04:37,140 --> 00:04:38,724
Hey. I was just gonna call you.
106
00:04:38,749 --> 00:04:39,921
Where's Bailey?
107
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,832
Okay. So we're at the hospital.
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00:04:41,833 --> 00:04:43,661
He has early appendicitis.
109
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They gave him antibiotics
and morphine for the pain.
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H-He's a little out of it.
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- He needs an appy. Who's on call?
- Ankrom
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She's gonna call you about consent.
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Well, at least someone
was thinking about that.
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Yeah. Look. I was gonna call, but...
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I don't want to talk about this
right now. I have to change my flight.
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Tell Bailey I will be
there as soon as I can.
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Okay. Meredith...
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Mer.
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What do we got?
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Sophia Valdez. 26.
Impaled by a wood beam.
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00:05:16,799 --> 00:05:20,215
Oxygenating at 96% on room
air. Hemodynamically stable.
122
00:05:20,216 --> 00:05:22,562
Bilateral neuro deficits
in both lower extremities.
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00:05:22,563 --> 00:05:24,461
Please! You have to help me!
124
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Sophia, I'm Dr. Hunt. I
know you're in a lot of pain.
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This is killing me.
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We're gonna do everything in our
power to make sure that won't happen.
127
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No, no. My... My coat.
They took my white coat.
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00:05:31,868 --> 00:05:34,239
The one that lets everyone
know I'm gonna be a doctor.
129
00:05:34,264 --> 00:05:35,850
I'll... I'll try to find it for you.
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00:05:35,875 --> 00:05:38,380
I didn't even get to wear
it in an actual hospital.
131
00:05:38,405 --> 00:05:41,557
I can't feel my right leg,
and I'm only a first year,
132
00:05:41,582 --> 00:05:44,233
but that's really bad, right?
133
00:05:44,258 --> 00:05:46,640
Trauma three and page neuro. Let's go.
134
00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:53,008
Woman over P.A.: Dr. Ellen
Drantch to Labor and Delivery.
135
00:05:53,033 --> 00:05:55,383
- Dr. Winston Ndugu?
- Yes.
136
00:06:05,070 --> 00:06:06,547
All right. Let's make this quick.
137
00:06:06,572 --> 00:06:08,504
I've got CCU rounds and a
consult in the pit, all right?
138
00:06:08,551 --> 00:06:12,522
Gilbert. Sorry for the delay.
I've had a lot of emergent cases today.
139
00:06:12,547 --> 00:06:14,584
It's okay. I don't go anywhere anymore.
140
00:06:14,609 --> 00:06:16,568
Strange places, loud
noises, sudden movements.
141
00:06:16,569 --> 00:06:18,881
They all make my heart go "fkkt!"
142
00:06:18,882 --> 00:06:21,116
All right. We'll take care
of that tonight, all right?
143
00:06:21,141 --> 00:06:23,920
- Dr. Miller?
- Uh, Gilbert Quincy, 41.
144
00:06:23,921 --> 00:06:25,888
Intermittent, rapid,
and irregular heart rate
145
00:06:25,889 --> 00:06:27,562
accompanied by shortness of breath.
146
00:06:27,587 --> 00:06:29,822
Initial diagnosis is SVT
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00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:34,069
with... AVRT that is resistant
to, uh, medication.
148
00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:36,622
The patient is scheduled for a, um...
149
00:06:36,623 --> 00:06:38,334
It's okay.
150
00:06:38,359 --> 00:06:42,283
The patient is scheduled
for a... cardiac ablation.
151
00:06:43,596 --> 00:06:45,597
You know we can see you, right?
152
00:06:46,359 --> 00:06:48,491
Angela is a professional cuddler.
153
00:06:48,516 --> 00:06:50,584
When the anti-anxiety
meds stopped working,
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00:06:50,609 --> 00:06:52,673
I had to get... creative.
155
00:06:52,914 --> 00:06:56,655
Oh. Yeah. Uh, you charge
people to hug them?
156
00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:59,818
Cuddling releases
endorphins and oxytocin,
157
00:06:59,819 --> 00:07:02,781
which lowers stress and anxiety.
158
00:07:03,859 --> 00:07:05,789
That's... fascinating.
159
00:07:06,437 --> 00:07:07,791
Or a racket.
160
00:07:08,174 --> 00:07:11,074
Okay, Gilbert. We got a
check on your labs, all right?
161
00:07:16,924 --> 00:07:19,234
That's the worst possible
time to consider having a baby.
162
00:07:19,259 --> 00:07:20,602
Work never stops.
163
00:07:20,627 --> 00:07:23,477
My written exams are coming up,
and Luna's starting preschool.
164
00:07:23,502 --> 00:07:24,981
Oh, my God. The diapers.
165
00:07:24,982 --> 00:07:26,983
Do you know how many
diapers we would need
166
00:07:26,984 --> 00:07:29,063
if we had three kids who
weren't potty trained?
167
00:07:29,088 --> 00:07:31,298
Try not to panic.
T-This could be nothing.
168
00:07:31,299 --> 00:07:32,816
Six diapers a day per kid!
169
00:07:33,049 --> 00:07:34,680
That's like a thousand diapers a week!
170
00:07:34,681 --> 00:07:36,027
- Not even close.
- How could this happen?
171
00:07:36,028 --> 00:07:37,564
I'm OB-GYN.
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00:07:37,589 --> 00:07:39,383
Half my job is to help
women not get pregnant.
173
00:07:39,408 --> 00:07:41,273
- Oh, my God. Here it is.
- You're spiraling.
174
00:07:41,274 --> 00:07:42,478
How are you not?
175
00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:45,047
It won't be easy but
we'll figure it out.
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00:07:45,072 --> 00:07:47,693
Also, we live in a state
where we have options...
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00:07:47,694 --> 00:07:49,833
if... if that's what you want... or not.
178
00:07:49,834 --> 00:07:56,189
I... I just mean we're in
this together no matter what.
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00:07:56,347 --> 00:07:59,072
Oh.
180
00:08:00,338 --> 00:08:03,226
Patient with abdominal pain.
181
00:08:03,227 --> 00:08:05,297
You do realize this doesn't
work if I take the...
182
00:08:05,298 --> 00:08:07,127
... test.
183
00:08:11,478 --> 00:08:12,891
Sorry I'm late.
184
00:08:12,892 --> 00:08:15,619
Sophia, I'm Dr. Shepherd.
How are you feeling?
185
00:08:15,860 --> 00:08:18,517
This isn't exactly how I
pictured my first trauma.
186
00:08:18,782 --> 00:08:21,831
- How are my X-rays?
- No visible injury around the lungs.
187
00:08:21,832 --> 00:08:23,419
No free fluid in the
abdomen or around the heart.
188
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:24,834
She's a first-year med student.
189
00:08:24,835 --> 00:08:28,390
Got it. Um, wiggle your toes for me.
190
00:08:30,103 --> 00:08:31,424
Are they moving?
191
00:08:33,050 --> 00:08:34,568
Okay.
192
00:08:34,569 --> 00:08:37,950
- Can you feel it when I touch here?
- Mnh-mnh.
193
00:08:40,892 --> 00:08:43,335
- We need a CT right now.
- Okay.
194
00:08:44,119 --> 00:08:46,545
I've wanted to be a surgeon
ever since I can remember.
195
00:08:46,830 --> 00:08:49,664
I watched whipples on YouTube as a kid.
196
00:08:49,689 --> 00:08:51,205
Have you ever done one?
197
00:08:51,206 --> 00:08:53,414
Oh, my God. Is that...
198
00:08:53,415 --> 00:08:56,383
Yeah. The paramedics were gonna toss
it, but I got there just in time.
199
00:08:56,384 --> 00:08:58,730
Sophia, hey, hey, hey.
200
00:08:58,731 --> 00:09:02,699
Hey. Hey. Hey. Deep breaths, okay?
Stay still. Deep breaths.
201
00:09:02,700 --> 00:09:06,048
I'm gonna take you up to CT now, okay?
Right now. We're going now.
202
00:09:06,049 --> 00:09:07,428
Let's go.
203
00:09:11,537 --> 00:09:13,227
I don't think you understand.
204
00:09:13,228 --> 00:09:14,642
My son is in the hospital.
205
00:09:14,643 --> 00:09:16,213
I need a flight tonight.
206
00:09:17,876 --> 00:09:19,533
Yes, I can hold.
207
00:09:22,424 --> 00:09:25,619
Meredith? What's going on?
208
00:09:25,620 --> 00:09:27,310
Bailey needs an appendectomy.
209
00:09:27,311 --> 00:09:29,001
He's with Nick in Boston.
210
00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:31,003
- Can I help?
- Can you fly a plane?
211
00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:33,336
No. But let me call Catherine.
212
00:09:33,361 --> 00:09:37,783
- No. I don't want to bother Catherine.
- He's your son. Now, come on.
213
00:09:40,255 --> 00:09:42,325
Sorry. Excuse me.
214
00:09:43,948 --> 00:09:46,847
Dr. Schmitt, I finished
the arm lac in bed 3.
215
00:09:46,848 --> 00:09:49,633
- What's next?
- We set up a fast track near bed 7
216
00:09:49,658 --> 00:09:51,093
for the simpler cases.
217
00:09:51,094 --> 00:09:53,233
You should be able to move
through that pretty quickly.
218
00:09:53,234 --> 00:09:55,442
I was the fastest
pre-rounder in medical school.
219
00:09:55,443 --> 00:09:57,444
Mm.
220
00:09:57,445 --> 00:09:58,824
- All right.
- Woman over P.A.: Dr. Mahoney to the E.R.
221
00:09:58,825 --> 00:10:01,674
Dr. Mahoney to the E.R.
222
00:10:02,478 --> 00:10:07,075
Hi. I'm Dr. Yasud...
223
00:10:09,752 --> 00:10:12,252
Do you have any idea
how much I want to be you?
224
00:10:12,253 --> 00:10:14,668
I haven't slept in two days.
You might want to rethink that.
225
00:10:14,669 --> 00:10:17,119
Have you ever wanted
something so much it hurts?
226
00:10:17,447 --> 00:10:20,708
Like... Like you can
feel it in your body
227
00:10:20,939 --> 00:10:23,125
and you're so close to getting it?
228
00:10:24,437 --> 00:10:27,957
Yeah. I, uh, I think I understand.
229
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:29,627
Then you know.
230
00:10:30,705 --> 00:10:32,392
You have to fix me.
231
00:10:32,997 --> 00:10:34,274
Please.
232
00:10:34,275 --> 00:10:36,276
Adams, let's go.
233
00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:39,305
When you see a deck collapse on TV,
234
00:10:39,330 --> 00:10:40,901
are you thinking, "Gee, that's sad,"
235
00:10:40,902 --> 00:10:43,041
or are you happy because
of all the traumas?
236
00:10:43,042 --> 00:10:47,183
Be honest.
237
00:10:47,184 --> 00:10:50,049
- Are you okay?
- Yeah. I'm fine.
238
00:10:51,978 --> 00:10:54,225
Scans are up. Adams?
239
00:10:54,963 --> 00:10:57,414
Uh, it looks like the wood
240
00:10:57,439 --> 00:11:01,056
partially severed her
spinal cord at T-4 and T-5.
241
00:11:01,081 --> 00:11:02,650
Brown-Sรฉquard syndrome.
242
00:11:02,675 --> 00:11:04,166
It's an expanding hematoma
in her spinal cord,
243
00:11:04,167 --> 00:11:05,546
which means the blood supply is tenuous.
244
00:11:05,547 --> 00:11:06,705
So what do you do?
245
00:11:06,730 --> 00:11:10,033
We remove the foreign object,
we irrigate the hematoma,
246
00:11:10,034 --> 00:11:12,035
we close her, and we hope for the best.
247
00:11:12,036 --> 00:11:13,416
Hope?
248
00:11:13,417 --> 00:11:15,430
Y-You just... You just hope
249
00:11:15,455 --> 00:11:18,008
that she's gonna be able
to walk or... or stand?
250
00:11:18,033 --> 00:11:20,734
Doing more could cause her
entire spinal cord to stroke out.
251
00:11:20,735 --> 00:11:22,529
Or she could die from complications.
252
00:11:22,530 --> 00:11:25,325
This is her best option.
253
00:11:25,326 --> 00:11:28,880
- Let's book an O.R.
- Mm-hmm.
254
00:11:40,444 --> 00:11:43,205
- Tired, Griffith?
- Oh, a little.
255
00:11:43,206 --> 00:11:45,384
You should be. I checked your hours.
256
00:11:45,409 --> 00:11:47,572
You're almost at your max. Go home.
257
00:11:47,597 --> 00:11:49,953
I'm just waiting for
Eddie Oliver's MRI results.
258
00:11:49,978 --> 00:11:52,563
Do you know what exhausted interns do?
259
00:11:52,588 --> 00:11:55,286
Make mistakes, which
makes my life messy.
260
00:11:55,287 --> 00:11:57,909
You want my life to be messy, Griffith?
261
00:11:58,150 --> 00:12:00,118
I will pass it off to Kwon and go home.
262
00:12:02,828 --> 00:12:04,656
I have to give you my patient.
263
00:12:04,681 --> 00:12:07,229
Uh, if his MRI is clear,
he can be discharged.
264
00:12:07,230 --> 00:12:08,447
He's in bed 4.
265
00:12:08,472 --> 00:12:10,439
Well, that bed's been empty for a while.
266
00:12:10,578 --> 00:12:13,718
- And you did nothing?
- He wasn't my patient then.
267
00:12:13,719 --> 00:12:16,774
Bailey will kill us if we
let a drunk medical student
268
00:12:16,799 --> 00:12:18,240
loose in the hospital.
269
00:12:18,241 --> 00:12:20,311
- Find him.
- You lost him.
270
00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:23,736
Shut up and help me.
271
00:12:31,220 --> 00:12:32,619
Hi.
272
00:12:32,620 --> 00:12:33,965
How is he?
273
00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:35,978
He's good. They took him to pre-op.
274
00:12:36,267 --> 00:12:39,315
Not before he lobbied the nurse
for popsicles after he wakes up.
275
00:12:39,316 --> 00:12:41,007
Well, I should be there by then.
276
00:12:41,008 --> 00:12:43,009
Good. He'll be happy.
277
00:12:43,034 --> 00:12:45,346
Well, I could have been
there sooner had I known.
278
00:12:45,564 --> 00:12:47,609
Mer, we're gonna have
this conversation now?
279
00:12:47,634 --> 00:12:49,774
Well, you took my kid to the hospital.
280
00:12:49,775 --> 00:12:52,743
Yeah. He said his stomach hurt
on the way home from hockey practice.
281
00:12:52,744 --> 00:12:54,867
I did a quick exam. He
had rebound tenderness.
282
00:12:54,892 --> 00:12:57,437
I called Ankrom. She said
to bring him in. I mean...
283
00:12:57,438 --> 00:12:59,025
You should have called me.
284
00:12:59,509 --> 00:13:00,923
Yes. I could have.
285
00:13:00,924 --> 00:13:03,400
I wanted to see what the doctor
said before I worried you.
286
00:13:03,425 --> 00:13:06,837
- I am a doctor.
- Yes. And so am I.
287
00:13:06,862 --> 00:13:09,287
I'm his mother. You call me.
288
00:13:09,312 --> 00:13:10,657
Okay. Copy that. Next
time this happens...
289
00:13:10,658 --> 00:13:12,038
No next time.
290
00:13:12,039 --> 00:13:13,867
If any decisions need to be made,
291
00:13:13,868 --> 00:13:16,283
call me immediately.
292
00:13:19,314 --> 00:13:21,668
Sounded like that went well.
293
00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:27,881
Track this for me. This side.
294
00:13:27,882 --> 00:13:30,159
- Okay. Good.
- Dead. Alive.
295
00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:31,851
Dead.
296
00:13:31,852 --> 00:13:33,576
Alive.
297
00:13:33,577 --> 00:13:34,577
Dead.
298
00:13:34,578 --> 00:13:36,579
- Alive.
- Don't do that.
299
00:13:36,580 --> 00:13:37,788
Dead.
300
00:13:42,572 --> 00:13:44,380
I've been running the
fast-track area solo.
301
00:13:44,381 --> 00:13:46,659
- I heard. That's awesome.
- Oh, is it?
302
00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:50,773
'Cause so far, I've been
peed on, spit on, and hit on.
303
00:13:50,798 --> 00:13:53,010
I mean, the first two
were accidents, but still.
304
00:13:53,011 --> 00:13:54,390
Someone hit on you?
305
00:13:54,391 --> 00:13:56,910
That's what you're concerned about?
306
00:13:56,911 --> 00:13:59,706
- Can you please swap me out?
- Let me see what I can do.
307
00:13:59,707 --> 00:14:01,052
Okay.
308
00:14:01,053 --> 00:14:02,536
- Can I have a sandwich?
- No.
309
00:14:02,537 --> 00:14:03,883
Back.
310
00:14:04,885 --> 00:14:06,658
Wheelchair, not a toy.
311
00:14:11,305 --> 00:14:13,686
Hey. Gilbert Quincy still isn't prepped.
312
00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:16,937
His heart rate kept going up
while she was doing the echo.
313
00:14:16,962 --> 00:14:20,429
I suggest we wait another 30
minutes before trying again.
314
00:14:20,454 --> 00:14:22,591
All right. Look. I've been on
my feet since 5:00 this morning,
315
00:14:22,592 --> 00:14:24,075
and I've got another
eight hours ahead of me.
316
00:14:24,076 --> 00:14:26,250
I'm not going to shift
around my schedule
317
00:14:26,251 --> 00:14:29,062
because my patient needs
a human weighted blanket.
318
00:14:29,087 --> 00:14:32,687
Uh, Angela, would you
please go check on Gilbert?
319
00:14:32,712 --> 00:14:34,314
We'll be in with you in a minute.
320
00:14:35,222 --> 00:14:36,314
Thank you.
321
00:14:39,782 --> 00:14:42,887
You're an intern. I give you a task.
You do it. Understood?
322
00:14:43,111 --> 00:14:44,889
Get the echo.
323
00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:46,712
I will try again.
324
00:14:48,192 --> 00:14:49,883
You know, actually, no.
325
00:14:49,908 --> 00:14:51,875
You can do it intraoperatively
while he's asleep.
326
00:14:51,900 --> 00:14:53,311
Excuse me?
327
00:14:53,595 --> 00:14:55,313
I know what I'm about to
say is way out of line,
328
00:14:55,314 --> 00:14:57,603
but it's late, and I
think you need to hear it.
329
00:14:58,095 --> 00:15:00,914
You used to be the coolest attending.
330
00:15:00,939 --> 00:15:02,769
Everybody wanted to be on your service.
331
00:15:03,056 --> 00:15:05,039
But lately, you've kind of been a jerk.
332
00:15:05,064 --> 00:15:07,119
Correct. This is way out of line. Yes.
333
00:15:07,144 --> 00:15:09,880
Okay. I am desperate to learn from you.
334
00:15:09,881 --> 00:15:11,813
But not if it means being disrespected
335
00:15:11,814 --> 00:15:14,643
or standing by while you
disrespect our patients.
336
00:15:14,644 --> 00:15:16,726
Gilbert is in pain. He is scared.
337
00:15:16,751 --> 00:15:18,992
And if paying someone to
hug him helps him with that,
338
00:15:18,993 --> 00:15:20,431
who are we to judge?
339
00:15:20,456 --> 00:15:23,704
I want the patient
prepped within 20 minutes.
340
00:15:29,837 --> 00:15:31,320
Are you okay?
341
00:15:32,212 --> 00:15:34,773
I've never been in an O.R. before.
342
00:15:34,798 --> 00:15:39,012
Um, my... my dad said the
O.R. had an invisible energy,
343
00:15:39,013 --> 00:15:42,556
like the force in "Star Wars."
344
00:15:43,234 --> 00:15:44,476
Now I get it.
345
00:15:44,501 --> 00:15:46,192
What kind of surgeon is your dad?
346
00:15:46,392 --> 00:15:49,298
Trauma. But he died two years ago.
347
00:15:49,704 --> 00:15:51,542
Oh.
348
00:15:51,543 --> 00:15:53,164
We are gonna start the anesthesia.
349
00:15:53,165 --> 00:15:54,517
Are you ready?
350
00:15:54,962 --> 00:15:57,513
Can you make sure my
coat is with my stuff?
351
00:15:57,514 --> 00:16:00,482
I don't care if it's ruined.
I-I still want to keep it.
352
00:16:00,483 --> 00:16:01,804
- Of course.
- Mm-hmm.
353
00:16:02,626 --> 00:16:04,106
Okay.
354
00:16:04,107 --> 00:16:05,694
I-I'm ready.
355
00:16:14,366 --> 00:16:16,402
Woman over P.A.: Dr. Yun to O.R. 1.
356
00:16:16,427 --> 00:16:18,324
Dr. Yun to O.R. 1.
357
00:16:20,431 --> 00:16:22,504
Huh. His M.R.I. is clear.
358
00:16:22,697 --> 00:16:25,507
I mean, d... maybe he went home.
Did you try and give him a call?
359
00:16:25,508 --> 00:16:27,040
I have been with you.
360
00:16:27,524 --> 00:16:29,314
Okay. Give me the number.
361
00:16:29,339 --> 00:16:30,857
Thank you.
362
00:16:32,175 --> 00:16:34,067
You have reached the voice mailbox...
363
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:36,656
- Voicemail.
- I can't believe I lost a patient.
364
00:16:36,657 --> 00:16:38,071
Bailey is going to fire me.
365
00:16:38,072 --> 00:16:40,073
Is he in a plaid shirt with a sling?
366
00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:42,711
Is your missing patient
wearing a plaid shirt
367
00:16:42,736 --> 00:16:44,526
- and a sling on his arm?
- Yes.
368
00:16:44,527 --> 00:16:46,150
Yeah. I saw him near the stairwell.
369
00:16:47,314 --> 00:16:49,358
Ah! The one by the west elevator.
370
00:16:49,359 --> 00:16:50,689
It goes to the roof.
371
00:16:59,507 --> 00:17:02,924
Great.
372
00:17:03,112 --> 00:17:06,438
The windy, outdoor version of
what we've been doing all night.
373
00:17:07,284 --> 00:17:08,940
Oh, please.
374
00:17:11,814 --> 00:17:13,520
- Hey.
- What?
375
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:15,902
Eddie?
376
00:17:18,250 --> 00:17:21,735
Can you come down from there?
We've got your M.R.I. results.
377
00:17:21,736 --> 00:17:26,361
- Am I dying?
- No. You're fine. Let's go back in.
378
00:17:26,362 --> 00:17:28,689
Yeah. We'll discharge
you, and y-you can go home.
379
00:17:33,134 --> 00:17:34,548
Eddie?
380
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:37,717
What if I didn't go home?
381
00:17:40,133 --> 00:17:41,664
You thought losing him was bad?
382
00:17:41,689 --> 00:17:44,586
How about the headline "Drunk
med student falls off hospital"?
383
00:17:44,587 --> 00:17:47,382
He's completely sober,
according to his labs.
384
00:17:47,923 --> 00:17:53,337
What if I just... let the wind decide?
385
00:18:06,165 --> 00:18:08,322
Oh.
386
00:18:08,347 --> 00:18:11,822
- Anything new?
- Still in surgery.
387
00:18:13,111 --> 00:18:15,024
I wish I could see into that O.R.
388
00:18:15,025 --> 00:18:16,642
The last thing a surgeon needs
389
00:18:16,667 --> 00:18:19,488
is to have a patient's mom
looking over their shoulder.
390
00:18:19,513 --> 00:18:21,583
Even more so if it's Meredith Grey.
391
00:18:21,584 --> 00:18:23,654
Even the best hands make mistakes.
392
00:18:23,655 --> 00:18:25,656
Bleeding, perforations.
393
00:18:25,681 --> 00:18:27,002
It's the middle of the night.
394
00:18:27,003 --> 00:18:28,762
They're tired. Mistakes happen.
395
00:18:28,763 --> 00:18:30,592
Yeah, they could, but most
of the time, they don't.
396
00:18:30,616 --> 00:18:34,136
And most of the time, people who
need craniotomies get head CTs.
397
00:18:36,322 --> 00:18:38,562
I'm sorry. I'm fine.
398
00:18:38,587 --> 00:18:40,757
I just... It's just when
things like this happen.
399
00:18:40,782 --> 00:18:45,314
- I know it's not Derek. I-I...
- I understand. No apologies needed.
400
00:18:49,423 --> 00:18:53,615
It's cold. Let's go in,
get some coffee, find your friends.
401
00:18:53,616 --> 00:18:54,926
I'm fine here.
402
00:18:55,275 --> 00:18:57,446
We can't leave you here.
403
00:18:59,681 --> 00:19:02,509
Hey, Eddie, did you...
404
00:19:02,928 --> 00:19:05,087
Did you come up here to hurt yourself?
405
00:19:10,118 --> 00:19:11,253
I don't know.
406
00:19:13,601 --> 00:19:17,243
- Are you having thoughts of suicide?
- I, uh...
407
00:19:18,166 --> 00:19:21,470
I guess. Sometimes.
408
00:19:24,415 --> 00:19:26,648
I'm here if you want to talk.
409
00:19:26,649 --> 00:19:28,056
We both are.
410
00:19:29,618 --> 00:19:32,136
Maybe you could sit down.
You've had a long night.
411
00:19:53,704 --> 00:19:55,736
It seems darker up here.
412
00:19:57,508 --> 00:19:59,079
The city.
413
00:20:00,829 --> 00:20:02,200
Text Bailey.
414
00:20:04,907 --> 00:20:07,861
Did you move here for med
school or is Seattle home?
415
00:20:08,483 --> 00:20:11,658
- You know, you're really pretty.
- Yeah. Thank you. Okay.
416
00:20:11,659 --> 00:20:14,316
- Do you like me?
- Sure.
417
00:20:15,072 --> 00:20:17,664
Don't touch that, 'cause
you're gonna open the sutures.
418
00:20:17,665 --> 00:20:18,872
Okay?
419
00:20:19,157 --> 00:20:21,407
Stop. Stop.
420
00:20:21,501 --> 00:20:23,648
Okay. You know what?
421
00:20:23,673 --> 00:20:26,023
Your hand is contaminated,
and if you're not gonna listen,
422
00:20:26,048 --> 00:20:27,501
I have to do this. I'm sorry.
This is just what has to
423
00:20:27,502 --> 00:20:30,159
- happen right now. Okay.
- Hey, this...
424
00:20:30,566 --> 00:20:32,257
This is a malpractice.
425
00:20:32,282 --> 00:20:34,851
Hey! She's malpracticing me.
426
00:20:34,876 --> 00:20:37,304
Um, can... can I get
another banana bag, please?
427
00:20:37,305 --> 00:20:41,032
Aah!
428
00:20:42,690 --> 00:20:44,691
No.
429
00:20:52,189 --> 00:20:53,486
Hey, baby.
430
00:20:54,157 --> 00:20:56,358
I-I thought you
weren't working tonight.
431
00:20:56,359 --> 00:20:58,325
Well, I could say the
same thing about you.
432
00:20:58,326 --> 00:21:00,327
Yeah. They needed a sub.
433
00:21:00,328 --> 00:21:02,571
That, uh, that med-student
party was a real rager, huh?
434
00:21:02,572 --> 00:21:04,220
Uh, yeah.
435
00:21:04,245 --> 00:21:06,333
I got one of them trying to
order pizza over at bed 4.
436
00:21:06,334 --> 00:21:08,750
Wait. Tuck's at home?
437
00:21:08,915 --> 00:21:13,030
Uh, did you remind him to lock
the door and turn on the alarm?
438
00:21:13,031 --> 00:21:15,549
- T... Ah.
- _
439
00:21:15,550 --> 00:21:19,346
- You didn't think I remembered.
- I do...
440
00:21:19,347 --> 00:21:22,695
- Oh. Uh-oh.
- What? What happened?
441
00:21:22,696 --> 00:21:25,968
Interns, uh, found a
missing patient on the roof.
442
00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:27,907
They're worried that
he wants to jump off.
443
00:21:27,908 --> 00:21:32,049
- Okay. Tell them we're on the way.
- OK... Uh...
444
00:21:33,134 --> 00:21:35,296
You remember how it felt to
be that excited about surgery?
445
00:21:35,321 --> 00:21:36,757
Yeah. It was like a drug
446
00:21:36,782 --> 00:21:39,656
that, unlike the other drugs
I was into, couldn't kill me.
447
00:21:39,681 --> 00:21:41,344
Prepare for the specimen.
448
00:21:41,369 --> 00:21:43,957
I don't remember the last
time operating gave me
449
00:21:43,958 --> 00:21:45,126
that kind of rush.
450
00:21:45,151 --> 00:21:47,374
Okay. Removing the
foreign object in three.
451
00:21:47,375 --> 00:21:51,205
One, two... three.
452
00:21:51,954 --> 00:21:53,621
- Bovie.
- Irrigation.
453
00:21:53,622 --> 00:21:55,347
Let's get this bleeding under control,
454
00:21:55,348 --> 00:21:57,004
wash her out, and get ready to close,
455
00:21:57,005 --> 00:21:59,006
and let's hope for the best.
456
00:21:59,228 --> 00:22:01,146
These edges are cleaner
than I thought they'd be.
457
00:22:01,147 --> 00:22:02,976
No significant tissue loss.
458
00:22:02,977 --> 00:22:04,805
Bleeding subsided.
459
00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:07,273
You're gonna ask me to do a
primary repair, aren't you?
460
00:22:07,298 --> 00:22:08,734
That's not the standard of care.
461
00:22:08,759 --> 00:22:11,191
I saw a lot of penetrating
injuries like this in Iraq,
462
00:22:11,192 --> 00:22:14,159
and I've seen primary repairs
work on nerves and extremities
463
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:16,230
It doesn't come close to a spinal cord.
464
00:22:16,231 --> 00:22:18,118
But if you were going to do it...
465
00:22:19,775 --> 00:22:21,609
I would need an orbeye.
466
00:22:21,634 --> 00:22:23,341
I'd use 10-0 nylon.
467
00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:25,895
Layer by layer, I would need
to expose the spinal cor...
468
00:22:25,896 --> 00:22:27,517
I can't guarantee the outcome.
469
00:22:27,518 --> 00:22:28,898
I mean, there's risky,
and then there's this.
470
00:22:28,899 --> 00:22:30,727
She'd want you to do it.
471
00:22:30,907 --> 00:22:33,931
Sorry, but s-she'd want you to try.
472
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:36,250
It would kill her to
know there was a chance
473
00:22:36,251 --> 00:22:37,389
and you didn't take it.
474
00:22:39,448 --> 00:22:42,853
All right. This is gonna
be long and tedious.
475
00:22:42,878 --> 00:22:45,328
I need an orbeye. I need
everyone in lockstep.
476
00:22:45,329 --> 00:22:47,330
- Are you in?
- I suggested it.
477
00:22:53,685 --> 00:22:55,798
I can't look at it.
478
00:22:56,617 --> 00:22:59,471
- Did you pee on this?
- Just read it.
479
00:23:00,275 --> 00:23:01,896
It's negative.
480
00:23:01,897 --> 00:23:05,720
Phew!
481
00:23:05,745 --> 00:23:08,420
What happened to "We're
in this together"?
482
00:23:08,939 --> 00:23:11,354
You... You were spiraling.
483
00:23:11,355 --> 00:23:14,103
Short of traveling back
and getting a vasectomy,
484
00:23:14,128 --> 00:23:16,094
it was the only thing I could
think of to make you feel better.
485
00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:18,913
The idea of having a
baby with me is so awful,
486
00:23:18,914 --> 00:23:20,993
you would rather have a vasectomy?
487
00:23:21,018 --> 00:23:22,329
No.
488
00:23:22,813 --> 00:23:26,314
- "A thousand diapers week"!
- That was an exaggeration!
489
00:23:26,579 --> 00:23:27,925
Hi.
490
00:23:29,408 --> 00:23:31,986
I love... being a dad,
491
00:23:32,011 --> 00:23:34,767
and as much as I would love to
do it all over again with you
492
00:23:34,792 --> 00:23:38,278
and only with you, I... I'm tired.
493
00:23:38,279 --> 00:23:41,799
- It's hard.
- Give me this.
494
00:23:44,008 --> 00:23:46,320
It's not negative.
495
00:23:48,065 --> 00:23:49,272
Y-You're pregnant?
496
00:23:49,297 --> 00:23:51,892
- It's not positive either!
- Is there a third option?
497
00:23:51,939 --> 00:23:53,845
One line is negative. Two is positive.
498
00:23:53,870 --> 00:23:56,606
- There's no lines!
- It's a dud.
499
00:24:06,893 --> 00:24:08,687
Aah... Can... Can we slow down?
500
00:24:08,688 --> 00:24:10,525
If we go any slower, we'll
have to push your surgery
501
00:24:10,550 --> 00:24:12,728
- to tomorrow.
- Stop, stop!
502
00:24:12,753 --> 00:24:14,939
I can't do this! I can't!
I-I have to get off.
503
00:24:14,964 --> 00:24:17,656
Uh, no, no, no, no. You can.
You can do this. You can do this.
504
00:24:17,681 --> 00:24:20,009
- Should we call Angela?
- No! No. She charges by the hour.
505
00:24:20,010 --> 00:24:21,368
I'm sorry. I'm really trying,
506
00:24:21,393 --> 00:24:23,400
but my relaxation techniques
aren't even working, and I'm...
507
00:24:23,425 --> 00:24:25,415
I can't breathe, and
my fingers are tingling.
508
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:27,486
I'm... I'm alone, and
I'm hot. Why is it so...
509
00:24:27,511 --> 00:24:29,132
- Dr. Ndugu.
- May I?
510
00:24:29,157 --> 00:24:30,236
What are you doing?
511
00:24:30,261 --> 00:24:32,366
If his heart rate doesn't slow
down, he can go into V-fib.
512
00:24:34,307 --> 00:24:36,105
You're okay. You're okay. You okay.
513
00:24:36,130 --> 00:24:39,507
Breathe... Breathe with Breathe with me.
514
00:24:39,532 --> 00:24:41,789
Yep.
515
00:24:41,790 --> 00:24:43,516
Okay. Nice and slow.
516
00:24:45,121 --> 00:24:46,190
Let's go.
517
00:24:49,453 --> 00:24:51,282
There you go.
518
00:24:57,758 --> 00:25:00,954
I remember my white coat ceremony.
My dad flew in.
519
00:25:01,033 --> 00:25:03,314
It was raining, so traffic was awful.
520
00:25:03,339 --> 00:25:05,634
He walked in right as
I was reciting the oath.
521
00:25:07,415 --> 00:25:09,595
Barely passed my biochem test.
522
00:25:10,125 --> 00:25:11,422
It's okay.
523
00:25:12,285 --> 00:25:13,540
I studied.
524
00:25:14,412 --> 00:25:16,087
I even went to see a tutor.
525
00:25:17,712 --> 00:25:20,267
Busted my ass, and I still
couldn't even catch up.
526
00:25:20,956 --> 00:25:22,188
Biochem is like...
527
00:25:23,267 --> 00:25:25,338
learning another language.
528
00:25:28,042 --> 00:25:30,388
So much reading.
529
00:25:31,274 --> 00:25:32,939
So many tests.
530
00:25:34,110 --> 00:25:36,509
You know, it's like I
try to sleep, but I can't.
531
00:25:39,673 --> 00:25:45,855
- I think, uh...
- Say it.
532
00:25:46,082 --> 00:25:48,083
Sometimes just saying it helps.
533
00:25:50,997 --> 00:25:52,228
I think I'm broken.
534
00:25:58,752 --> 00:26:00,649
I don't deserve this anymore.
535
00:26:02,173 --> 00:26:03,470
Eddie.
536
00:26:17,396 --> 00:26:19,915
Oh. Damn it. Griffith.
537
00:26:20,088 --> 00:26:21,431
I told her to go home.
538
00:26:21,456 --> 00:26:24,044
Yeah. Well, it's a good
thing she didn't listen.
539
00:26:25,710 --> 00:26:28,091
Has he said anything
about wanting to jump?
540
00:26:28,413 --> 00:26:31,032
No.
541
00:26:31,219 --> 00:26:32,910
Good. All right.
542
00:26:32,935 --> 00:26:34,867
Well, then keep... keep
doing what you're doing.
543
00:26:34,868 --> 00:26:36,642
He's standing on a ledge.
544
00:26:36,667 --> 00:26:39,220
There's a difference between
a suicide attempt and ideation.
545
00:26:39,245 --> 00:26:41,079
Right now, he's talking to her.
546
00:26:41,104 --> 00:26:43,312
He's engaging with her and
answering her questions.
547
00:26:43,337 --> 00:26:45,545
He's inches away from
a seven-story drop.
548
00:26:45,570 --> 00:26:47,493
And if we abruptly change
the situation on him,
549
00:26:47,518 --> 00:26:48,932
we might make it worse.
550
00:26:49,216 --> 00:26:52,770
So calm down. Keep him talking.
551
00:26:55,822 --> 00:26:57,743
Hey. Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey. Look at me.
552
00:26:57,768 --> 00:26:59,110
Look at me. Look at me.
553
00:26:59,135 --> 00:27:02,337
- What?
- Five. Four.
554
00:27:02,526 --> 00:27:03,664
Three.
555
00:27:03,782 --> 00:27:05,770
Two.
556
00:27:05,795 --> 00:27:06,829
One.
557
00:27:06,830 --> 00:27:08,486
Hm?
558
00:27:08,487 --> 00:27:12,071
- We get a sign this becomes unstable...
- We will intervene.
559
00:27:22,589 --> 00:27:23,798
Hey.
560
00:27:24,827 --> 00:27:27,518
Surgery went well. The
appendix didn't rupture.
561
00:27:27,543 --> 00:27:29,579
- He's still out?
- You know him.
562
00:27:29,604 --> 00:27:32,149
He could sleep through a monster
truck rally without anesthesia.
563
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:35,045
You can go.
564
00:27:37,791 --> 00:27:41,542
- I... I don't need to.
- You can go.
565
00:27:42,090 --> 00:27:43,282
Okay.
566
00:27:46,008 --> 00:27:48,384
His, uh, his vitals look good.
567
00:27:48,409 --> 00:27:50,632
I'll... I'll let you two have some time.
568
00:27:50,633 --> 00:27:52,842
I'll be close in case you need anything.
569
00:27:53,692 --> 00:27:56,462
Thank you... for getting me here
570
00:27:56,487 --> 00:27:59,262
and for listening to me
and being there for me.
571
00:27:59,287 --> 00:28:00,931
You know I would do more if I could.
572
00:28:01,726 --> 00:28:03,486
I really am fine.
573
00:28:06,216 --> 00:28:08,064
I mean, of course I miss him. I...
574
00:28:09,703 --> 00:28:12,699
It's... it's just really
only when the kids wake up
575
00:28:12,724 --> 00:28:13,853
in the middle of the night.
576
00:28:13,878 --> 00:28:17,728
And... I don't have
anyone to talk to and...
577
00:28:17,729 --> 00:28:20,743
Anyway, you help me more than you know.
578
00:28:20,768 --> 00:28:22,517
I was glad to do it.
579
00:28:23,266 --> 00:28:27,580
But, uh, you know, I wasn't the
only one you had to talk with.
580
00:28:31,098 --> 00:28:33,986
- Mom?
- Hi.
581
00:28:33,987 --> 00:28:37,058
- How do you feel?
- Where's Nick?
582
00:28:39,302 --> 00:28:41,407
Pia mater has been approximated.
583
00:28:41,408 --> 00:28:42,856
Cut, please.
584
00:28:44,928 --> 00:28:46,170
Wait.
585
00:28:46,171 --> 00:28:48,345
- There's bleeding.
- Suction.
586
00:28:48,346 --> 00:28:50,165
Wait. No suction. No. it's too friable.
587
00:28:50,190 --> 00:28:53,039
If we suction, we could
lose spinal nerve tissue.
588
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:54,767
- We need to stop the bleeding.
- Well, we can irrigate
589
00:28:54,792 --> 00:28:57,556
and then use gelfoam
soaked in dexamethasone.
590
00:28:57,581 --> 00:28:58,926
Let's keep it quiet.
591
00:28:58,951 --> 00:29:02,322
We know it's been a long night,
but we're on the homestretch, okay?
592
00:29:08,079 --> 00:29:10,056
Bleeding has stopped.
593
00:29:10,057 --> 00:29:11,230
Gelfoam, please.
594
00:29:11,231 --> 00:29:13,712
- Do you need a dural patch?
- No. I'm good.
595
00:29:13,737 --> 00:29:17,143
Can't believe I'm saying this, but...
we can prep to close.
596
00:29:17,168 --> 00:29:19,135
We did it.
597
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:20,815
We did.
598
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:24,860
All right. Wait to see if it works
before you start gloating up there.
599
00:29:25,097 --> 00:29:27,201
Okay. Irrigation.
600
00:29:37,091 --> 00:29:38,229
How'd it go?
601
00:29:38,446 --> 00:29:41,415
Good. Yeah.
He's gonna wake up a new person.
602
00:29:42,029 --> 00:29:43,995
I don't think we would have
gotten him into the O.R.
603
00:29:44,020 --> 00:29:46,194
if you hadn't jumped on
the gurney when you did.
604
00:29:46,219 --> 00:29:51,064
Yeah. Well, I got to be honest.
It's not my... usual strategy.
605
00:29:51,731 --> 00:29:54,946
Uh, Dr. Ndugu, um, I-I wanted to say
606
00:29:54,971 --> 00:29:58,617
that I am really sorry
for what I said earlier.
607
00:29:58,642 --> 00:30:00,374
Not only was it inappropriate
608
00:30:00,399 --> 00:30:02,704
- and disrespectful...
- It was right.
609
00:30:02,837 --> 00:30:05,460
I haven't been bringing my
best self to work lately.
610
00:30:06,368 --> 00:30:09,978
Things in my personal
life are... complicated.
611
00:30:09,979 --> 00:30:11,493
But it's no excuse.
612
00:30:11,518 --> 00:30:13,223
You... You don't have to
explain yourself to me.
613
00:30:13,224 --> 00:30:16,774
No. I know.
But I'm the coolest attending.
614
00:30:16,799 --> 00:30:19,388
You did good work today.
615
00:30:26,697 --> 00:30:28,446
You hungry?
616
00:30:29,238 --> 00:30:31,067
Cafeteria has pretty good fries.
617
00:30:31,735 --> 00:30:33,954
When did you feel
like you were a doctor?
618
00:30:34,279 --> 00:30:38,189
I don't know. Maybe... a
couple weeks into residency.
619
00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:43,165
Someone called me "Doctor" tonight.
620
00:30:44,954 --> 00:30:46,618
Patient in the elevator.
621
00:30:49,087 --> 00:30:51,759
'Cause he just saw the coat and assumed.
622
00:30:53,064 --> 00:30:54,439
I didn't correct him.
623
00:30:54,526 --> 00:30:55,759
That's okay.
624
00:30:56,936 --> 00:30:58,110
It's a shame.
625
00:30:59,251 --> 00:31:01,189
I'm not even sure what I am anymore.
626
00:31:03,064 --> 00:31:04,557
I'm a guy just...
627
00:31:06,176 --> 00:31:08,144
just going through the motions.
628
00:31:09,430 --> 00:31:11,307
I take the light rail to school,
629
00:31:11,857 --> 00:31:13,385
and every morning, I think...
630
00:31:15,761 --> 00:31:18,695
"What if I just fell onto the tracks?"
631
00:31:20,011 --> 00:31:22,322
Everyone else has it all figured out,
632
00:31:22,347 --> 00:31:23,866
but I don't.
633
00:31:25,666 --> 00:31:30,080
I-I don't know how to
live with all of the, um...
634
00:31:31,784 --> 00:31:33,579
Pressure and all the pain?
635
00:31:35,846 --> 00:31:37,479
I didn't either.
636
00:31:37,791 --> 00:31:39,723
A lot of people don't.
637
00:31:39,724 --> 00:31:41,784
Doesn't matter how they make it look.
638
00:31:44,251 --> 00:31:45,612
You're not alone.
639
00:31:46,001 --> 00:31:51,143
Most days... I still
don't feel like a doctor.
640
00:31:51,698 --> 00:31:53,771
But I'm still here.
641
00:31:54,166 --> 00:31:55,846
Let us get you some help.
642
00:31:59,274 --> 00:32:01,034
Hm?
643
00:32:40,557 --> 00:32:42,144
Hi.
644
00:32:42,371 --> 00:32:44,245
Do you have a minute?
645
00:32:47,745 --> 00:32:49,151
Two days.
646
00:32:49,691 --> 00:32:52,667
- Excuse me?
- I've been with your kids for two days.
647
00:32:52,787 --> 00:32:54,201
I got them to school.
648
00:32:54,226 --> 00:32:55,848
I got them to practice and rehearsal.
649
00:32:56,075 --> 00:32:57,706
I made sure they ate, they slept.
650
00:32:57,731 --> 00:32:59,525
When one of them felt sick,
out of an abundance of caution,
651
00:32:59,550 --> 00:33:00,604
I brought him here.
652
00:33:00,629 --> 00:33:02,565
Now, yes, I guess I
could've called on the way,
653
00:33:02,590 --> 00:33:04,776
but I was busy making
arrangements with your nanny
654
00:33:04,801 --> 00:33:06,802
to take care of Zola and Ellis.
655
00:33:07,362 --> 00:33:09,986
- My kid was sick.
- Mm-hmm.
656
00:33:09,987 --> 00:33:11,367
And I wasn't here.
657
00:33:11,368 --> 00:33:13,645
And I feel really guilty about that.
658
00:33:13,646 --> 00:33:16,558
- I'm all they have.
- But you're not.
659
00:33:16,583 --> 00:33:19,309
I mean, yes, you're
their mom. Of course.
660
00:33:19,334 --> 00:33:21,323
But they have so many
people that love them.
661
00:33:22,556 --> 00:33:24,695
Look, I know I'm not their father.
662
00:33:24,790 --> 00:33:25,963
I know that.
663
00:33:26,003 --> 00:33:27,948
But I care about them a lot.
664
00:33:27,973 --> 00:33:30,550
- And I want you to trust me with them.
- I do trust you.
665
00:33:30,575 --> 00:33:33,261
- It doesn't feel like it.
- I'm sorry.
666
00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:35,276
I panicked.
667
00:33:35,523 --> 00:33:38,974
I actually came here...
to say I'm sorry.
668
00:33:39,972 --> 00:33:42,042
Because I know... I panic.
669
00:33:42,067 --> 00:33:43,757
And I was tired.
670
00:33:46,775 --> 00:33:48,972
But I know that I said some things
671
00:33:49,649 --> 00:33:53,058
that were probably pretty
unnecessary to say, so...
672
00:33:53,083 --> 00:33:54,324
A few things.
673
00:33:54,349 --> 00:33:55,651
Okay.
674
00:33:55,676 --> 00:33:57,539
I've been doing this a long time alone,
675
00:33:57,564 --> 00:34:01,729
so it may just take
me... a minute to adjust.
676
00:34:01,754 --> 00:34:03,237
Hey. Come here.
677
00:34:03,262 --> 00:34:04,331
Look.
678
00:34:04,356 --> 00:34:05,683
I got a minute.
679
00:34:07,540 --> 00:34:09,023
Okay?
680
00:34:09,048 --> 00:34:11,671
Okay.
681
00:34:25,904 --> 00:34:27,490
I'm not pregnant.
682
00:34:30,606 --> 00:34:33,206
Are you... disappointed?
683
00:34:35,856 --> 00:34:37,996
I think I want another kid.
684
00:34:38,823 --> 00:34:40,721
I thought you said you
didn't want biological kids.
685
00:34:40,746 --> 00:34:41,746
I didn't.
686
00:34:41,771 --> 00:34:43,445
But this would be with you.
687
00:34:45,386 --> 00:34:47,149
And you don't have to decide right now.
688
00:34:47,174 --> 00:34:49,930
And I wouldn't want to do it
until Luna is a little bit older.
689
00:34:49,955 --> 00:34:52,957
But... I want to do this right.
690
00:34:52,982 --> 00:34:54,499
Us.
691
00:34:54,606 --> 00:34:56,469
Which means I want you to know
692
00:34:56,494 --> 00:34:58,426
everything that's in my head,
693
00:34:58,645 --> 00:35:00,859
no matter how terrifying it might be.
694
00:35:07,801 --> 00:35:10,078
If you you want to
have a baby together...
695
00:35:12,302 --> 00:35:14,061
I can get there.
696
00:35:14,672 --> 00:35:18,321
- It's just gonna take me some time.
- Okay.
697
00:35:21,914 --> 00:35:24,805
We still have to pick
up the babies we do have.
698
00:35:25,446 --> 00:35:26,481
Right.
699
00:35:37,169 --> 00:35:39,515
I smell like puke, and I
haven't had time to change.
700
00:35:39,516 --> 00:35:41,689
Mm. Too tired to notice.
701
00:35:44,070 --> 00:35:46,070
Did you know fast track
was going to suck that much
702
00:35:46,095 --> 00:35:47,509
when you assigned me?
703
00:35:47,534 --> 00:35:49,836
My night wasn't much better.
704
00:35:51,862 --> 00:35:53,016
Well...
705
00:35:53,496 --> 00:35:56,913
I should probably go back to
the hellish life I've chosen.
706
00:35:56,938 --> 00:35:59,750
Oh, at least you're
done with medical school.
707
00:35:59,775 --> 00:36:02,088
Amen to that.
708
00:36:04,127 --> 00:36:06,439
Hey, I'm sorry about last night.
709
00:36:06,464 --> 00:36:08,085
I tried to put you on that impalement,
710
00:36:08,110 --> 00:36:11,802
but my, uh, "co-chief" overruled me.
711
00:36:17,408 --> 00:36:19,064
You actually repaired it?
712
00:36:19,307 --> 00:36:20,766
Like, I'll be able to walk?
713
00:36:20,791 --> 00:36:23,227
The hope is you will
regain full function.
714
00:36:24,796 --> 00:36:26,901
Can you wiggle your toes for me?
715
00:36:30,014 --> 00:36:32,039
Am I doing it?
716
00:36:32,064 --> 00:36:33,892
It looks like it.
717
00:36:33,917 --> 00:36:37,406
Oh, I never thought performing
a basic motor function
718
00:36:37,431 --> 00:36:38,810
would make me so happy.
719
00:36:38,835 --> 00:36:40,767
Well, we will let you get some rest.
720
00:36:41,289 --> 00:36:44,820
Let's do Q2 neuro checks
and an MRI in the morning.
721
00:36:44,845 --> 00:36:46,225
Mm-hmm.
722
00:36:50,078 --> 00:36:52,391
Maybe I should be a neurosurgeon.
723
00:36:52,416 --> 00:36:55,227
Yeah. Um, about that.
724
00:36:55,394 --> 00:36:56,947
I got some bad news.
725
00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:00,211
Third year of med school
is gonna break you.
726
00:37:00,236 --> 00:37:02,721
Bring it.
727
00:37:14,369 --> 00:37:16,958
How's he doing?
728
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:19,960
He's okay.
729
00:37:20,171 --> 00:37:22,250
Psych's evaluating him now.
730
00:37:25,783 --> 00:37:27,957
What you said up there...
731
00:37:29,318 --> 00:37:31,570
- If you ever want to talk about...
- I don't.
732
00:37:51,579 --> 00:37:54,374
You being quiet is very unsettling.
733
00:37:54,476 --> 00:37:58,238
Typical night shift
or something specific?
734
00:37:58,667 --> 00:38:01,324
Taryn, uh, betrayed me.
735
00:38:01,451 --> 00:38:02,758
Helm cheated on you?
736
00:38:02,783 --> 00:38:06,282
She blocked me from
getting a really good case.
737
00:38:06,283 --> 00:38:09,539
Oh. That is... That is so much worse.
738
00:38:09,564 --> 00:38:12,324
Yeah. I haven't talked to her yet.
739
00:38:12,349 --> 00:38:17,430
I am... trying to stay
calm, but I'm just...
740
00:38:17,455 --> 00:38:18,663
Give me your hand.
741
00:38:20,308 --> 00:38:22,227
- Why?
- Just give it to me.
742
00:38:25,233 --> 00:38:27,856
Okay.
743
00:38:33,862 --> 00:38:35,188
It's acupressure.
744
00:38:35,519 --> 00:38:38,763
My mom used to do it for
me when I was stressed,
745
00:38:38,764 --> 00:38:40,180
and it's like one
746
00:38:40,205 --> 00:38:43,103
of only three things she ever
did that actually helped me.
747
00:38:43,128 --> 00:38:45,211
Much like the cells in our body,
748
00:38:45,236 --> 00:38:47,406
humans often isolate to avoid harm.
749
00:38:47,431 --> 00:38:49,121
What were the other two?
750
00:38:49,146 --> 00:38:52,598
I can't think of them right
now, but I'm sure they exist.
751
00:38:53,951 --> 00:38:55,688
Somewhere.
752
00:38:55,713 --> 00:38:58,180
The truth is, no single part of the body
753
00:38:58,205 --> 00:39:00,034
can thrive on its own.
754
00:39:00,284 --> 00:39:02,630
Your organs work together as a system.
755
00:39:02,655 --> 00:39:05,359
They'll compensate for each
other when one gets weak.
756
00:39:06,156 --> 00:39:08,820
Hey. How you doing?
757
00:39:08,845 --> 00:39:11,157
Maggie told me that the divorce
papers are coming in today.
758
00:39:11,383 --> 00:39:13,487
Hey. Sophia is doing well.
759
00:39:13,488 --> 00:39:16,214
I haven't had a rush like
that in... a long time.
760
00:39:16,215 --> 00:39:18,969
- We should do that more often.
- Oh, you mean more tragedy?
761
00:39:18,994 --> 00:39:20,926
I don't get trauma surgeons.
762
00:39:21,321 --> 00:39:24,093
Hey. Morning. You exhausted?
763
00:39:24,326 --> 00:39:26,189
Strangely, no.
764
00:39:26,363 --> 00:39:28,468
Chief, you're on the schedule tomorrow.
765
00:39:28,469 --> 00:39:29,848
TAVR.
766
00:39:29,849 --> 00:39:31,406
- I e-mailed you the case.
- I'm cleared?
767
00:39:31,431 --> 00:39:34,364
You're cleared. And
I need some time off.
768
00:39:34,389 --> 00:39:35,242
Right.
769
00:39:35,267 --> 00:39:37,219
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
770
00:39:37,244 --> 00:39:39,141
All right. I'm gonna
go check my e-mails.
771
00:39:39,166 --> 00:39:40,938
Oh. I left the laundry in the washer.
772
00:39:40,963 --> 00:39:43,094
And Leo is at a play date, but
your mom's car is acting up,
773
00:39:43,119 --> 00:39:45,500
- so you need to pick him up.
- Copy that.
774
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:47,318
Back down to earth.
775
00:39:47,343 --> 00:39:49,206
People can do the same for each other,
776
00:39:49,231 --> 00:39:51,398
stepping up when someone else is down.
777
00:39:51,423 --> 00:39:53,251
You waited for me.
778
00:39:53,570 --> 00:39:56,469
After that night? Of course I did.
779
00:39:56,494 --> 00:39:58,322
Come on.
780
00:39:58,347 --> 00:40:02,212
There was a girl in my med
school that took her own life.
781
00:40:02,595 --> 00:40:06,357
I didn't know her well, but
she was top of our class,
782
00:40:06,382 --> 00:40:09,107
like, a real overachiever.
783
00:40:09,132 --> 00:40:11,125
Isn't that what medical schools want,
784
00:40:11,150 --> 00:40:13,328
overachievers and perfectionists?
785
00:40:13,353 --> 00:40:15,561
Put them in a pressure cooker
786
00:40:15,586 --> 00:40:18,105
and add unrealistic expectations.
787
00:40:18,130 --> 00:40:20,787
That's a recipe for mental illness.
788
00:40:20,812 --> 00:40:23,262
Especially if you're already struggling.
789
00:40:23,563 --> 00:40:25,508
Well, it's a good thing
your residents have you
790
00:40:25,533 --> 00:40:27,775
looking out for them.
791
00:40:27,911 --> 00:40:31,086
It's a good thing I have
you looking out for me.
792
00:40:33,602 --> 00:40:37,297
Isolating ourselves often
makes us feel more alone.
793
00:40:47,500 --> 00:40:49,008
Hey.
794
00:40:52,212 --> 00:40:53,628
Can we talk?
795
00:40:54,820 --> 00:40:56,938
I had a... I had a really long night.
796
00:40:57,316 --> 00:40:58,592
Right.
797
00:40:58,593 --> 00:41:02,599
- Um... I'll go.
- Wait.
798
00:41:32,242 --> 00:41:36,180
We're usually better together,
even when we're struggling.
799
00:41:37,993 --> 00:41:42,993
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.MY-SUBS.com --
800
00:41:43,830 --> 00:41:45,649
You are not alone.
801
00:41:45,959 --> 00:41:50,156
If you or someone you know
is in crisis or needs support,
802
00:41:50,181 --> 00:41:53,183
there are resources that can help you.
803
00:41:53,270 --> 00:41:56,172
Call or text 988
804
00:41:56,197 --> 00:42:02,016
or visit www.988lifeline.org
805
00:42:02,041 --> 00:42:04,930
for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
806
00:42:04,955 --> 00:42:09,852
For worldwide help,
visit findahelpline.org.
59776
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