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1
00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:06,399
I cannot believe that I am
eating Nana Sugar's cookies
2
00:00:06,423 --> 00:00:08,318
with Nana Sugar.
3
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:10,612
My mom and I used to try
to re-create your recipe,
4
00:00:10,636 --> 00:00:13,573
but we could never figure
out your secret ingredient.
5
00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:16,159
Oh, honey, nobody ever could.
6
00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:18,161
Cool! That's awesome, Cheryl.
7
00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:19,787
So who's the fella?
8
00:00:19,811 --> 00:00:22,081
He's that sportswriter
I was telling you about.
9
00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:23,833
Well, why are you sitting
here gabbing with me?
10
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:26,544
It's just, he's
the sweetest guy,
11
00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:28,213
and he's nice to everyone.
12
00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:31,966
And nice is typically
not my type.
13
00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:33,801
Let me tell you
something, honey. Mm-hmm.
14
00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:36,804
Women always think they
need something edgy,
15
00:00:36,828 --> 00:00:40,975
but nothing beats a classic
chocolate chip cookie.
16
00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:44,187
So you think I could be with
a chocolate chip cookie?
17
00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:45,813
Like a glass of milk.
18
00:00:45,837 --> 00:00:49,442
Thanks, Nana Sugar.
You're a real one.
19
00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:50,944
Are you ready for me to
send off your obituary?
20
00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:52,695
I am. Okay.
21
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:55,365
Oh, and, Nell, the
secret ingredient?
22
00:00:58,016 --> 00:01:00,828
It's mono-saturated glutamate.
23
00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:02,372
Ah.
24
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:05,416
Captions by VITAC...
25
00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:12,006
Hey. Hey.
26
00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:13,258
I didn't know
someone was in here.
27
00:01:13,282 --> 00:01:15,468
It's me again, the guy
who's been stealing
28
00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:17,387
the news floor's
coffee every day.
29
00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:18,805
You know, at some point,
30
00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:19,931
I'm gonna have to
start charging you.
31
00:01:19,955 --> 00:01:22,225
Hey, so I am coaching
32
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:25,853
the office softball game
tomorrow against KQUT.
33
00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:28,189
We got Carl, Mason, Cheryl.
34
00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:30,483
It's looking really good.
Cool, sounds awesome.
35
00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:32,402
Yeah, softball's really
fun. I used to play a lot.
36
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:33,695
Hey. Yeah?
37
00:01:33,719 --> 00:01:34,821
Do you want to play tomorrow?
38
00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:36,239
Absolutely not.
39
00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:37,263
Okay.
40
00:01:38,807 --> 00:01:40,576
Okay. Okay.
41
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,245
Alright.
42
00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:44,062
Well... goodbye.
43
00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:48,584
Hey. What?
44
00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:50,253
What is wrong with you?
Why didn't you say yes?
45
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:51,921
I thought you liked him. I
used to play in high school,
46
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:54,465
and I could get just... I
get a little bit competitive.
47
00:01:54,489 --> 00:01:56,134
But that was like 20 years ago,
48
00:01:56,158 --> 00:01:57,468
so I'm sure you're not
even that good anymore.
49
00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:59,345
What'd you just
say to me?! Okay!
50
00:01:59,369 --> 00:02:00,638
Have you seen these feet? Do
you know how fast I can run?
51
00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:02,015
Have you seen these arms?
52
00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:03,599
Alright. I see
your point. Mm-hmm.
53
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:05,310
But, Nell, he just
asked you out.
54
00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:06,936
And if you do not
give a guy attention
55
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,938
within five minutes of
him giving you attention,
56
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,982
he biologically moves on.
57
00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:13,610
That's fast. I know.
I saw it on TikTok.
58
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:15,695
You still brushing up on how
the youth dates these days?
59
00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:19,365
Yes. Which is why I will
be your Crush Coach, okay?
60
00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:21,618
I'm gonna help you keep the
softball monster at bay.
61
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:24,287
So first things first, we got
to get you back in the game.
62
00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:25,705
You're right. Yes.
63
00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:27,915
I'm going to tell him I'm in.
64
00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:30,335
Yes! Put some rizz
on it. Come again?
65
00:02:30,359 --> 00:02:32,378
I need to step away from
social media for a while.
66
00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,339
Dennis: The coffee on the
sports floor is next level.
67
00:02:34,363 --> 00:02:37,091
Our coffee on the news floor
is so nasty it is undrankable.
68
00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:39,927
Yeah, I'm not gonna drink it.
69
00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:41,596
Hey, what are you
doing tomorrow?
70
00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:43,222
We need one more player
for the softball game,
71
00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:45,099
and I was hoping someone
was gonna take it,
72
00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:47,560
but she didn't. Who's
the halftime performer?
73
00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:50,188
If it's Beyoncé, I'm in. If
it's Katy Perry, I'm out.
74
00:02:50,212 --> 00:02:52,815
No, it's just a casual
game against KQUT News.
75
00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:54,484
Did you say KQUT?
76
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:55,693
Um, yes?
77
00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:57,570
I used to work for KQUT.
78
00:02:57,594 --> 00:03:00,281
Yeah. Almost had an
on-air career there.
79
00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:02,492
Oh, cool. Yes, it
would've been cool.
80
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:05,244
Would've been very cool,
until my office romance soured
81
00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:07,413
and my ex-girlfriend stabbed me
in the back after our breakup
82
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:10,249
and ruined all of my
dreams of reporting traffic
83
00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:11,668
live from the chopper.
84
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,002
Well, luckily, it
all worked out.
85
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,337
You have a husband and kids.
86
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:15,797
And they do their best.
87
00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:17,840
But I always dreamed
of running into her
88
00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:19,842
and telling her off to her face,
89
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:23,596
and this is the
perfect opportunity.
90
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:26,474
Yes. Yes, I am in.
91
00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:27,642
I'll need a mitten. A glove.
92
00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:28,851
Yeah, okay.
93
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:31,062
Hey!
94
00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:33,981
Hey, so, uh, you
wanted to see me?
95
00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:36,692
I have very big news.
96
00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:39,237
Edward and I will be having
our first date tomorrow night,
97
00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:41,030
and I officially have
first-date jitters.
98
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,408
Wow. This is a very busy
day for the Crush Coach.
99
00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:45,660
Okay, well, this
one is a no-brainer.
100
00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:49,438
Just pretend that you have been
sleeping with Edward for weeks.
101
00:03:50,522 --> 00:03:51,999
Because you've been sleeping
with Edward for weeks.
102
00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:54,085
Yes, but a date is so
much more intimate.
103
00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:57,422
Sam, we have to look at each
other from across a table.
104
00:03:57,446 --> 00:04:00,258
Order from a menu.
Split an iceberg wedge.
105
00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:02,301
Is an iceberg wedge
more intimate than...?
106
00:04:02,325 --> 00:04:05,096
Oh, Sam, I plan on spending
the entire day prepping,
107
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:07,682
mm-hmm... a blowout,
makeup, teeth whitening.
108
00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:11,686
Alexis, did you know that
the newspaper is playing KQUT
109
00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:13,271
in a softball game tomorrow?
110
00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:14,689
I did not. I'll have it
canceled immediately.
111
00:04:14,713 --> 00:04:16,232
C-Canceled? No.
112
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:17,900
You see, I've had a
longstanding rivalry
113
00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:20,403
with the station's
owner, Sharon Darynson.
114
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:22,447
At Rupert Murdoch's White Party,
115
00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:24,490
she stole that last
shrimp on the buffet
116
00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:27,118
right out from under me.
I had already called it.
117
00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:28,953
I know how much you hate
shellfish power games.
118
00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:33,332
So I want her to see me at the
game tomorrow with my daughter.
119
00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:36,461
Why? Because her
children hate her.
120
00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:41,090
Well, so much for
my day of date prep,
121
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:44,343
all because of my warm
relationship with my father.
122
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:46,429
Yeah.
123
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,847
Alright. I've been
thinking about it,
124
00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:49,223
and I changed my mind.
125
00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:51,768
I definitely do want
to be in the game.
126
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:55,021
Oh. Uh... Oh, damn. What?
127
00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:56,647
I just gave the
last spot to Dennis.
128
00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:58,691
What? But you wouldn't mind
129
00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:00,276
giving Nell your
spot, would you?
130
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:03,613
No. I am going to go
out onto that court,
131
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,156
single-handedly win the game,
132
00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:07,575
and give Pearl a
piece of my mind.
133
00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:11,496
Nell, we'll miss you tomorrow.
134
00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:13,247
Okay. Dennis, I'm going to
135
00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:15,041
get you some softball
tutorials. Thank you.
136
00:05:15,065 --> 00:05:16,792
Yeah.
137
00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:18,711
Dennis... Dennis,
what the hell?!
138
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:20,796
TJ wanted me to play. If I
don't make it on that team,
139
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:23,633
he's gonna biologically move
on. Oh, I did see that TikTok.
140
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:26,552
But, girl, I cannot support
an in-office flirtuation.
141
00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:28,513
What? No one should
have to go through
142
00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:30,223
what Pearl and I did.
143
00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:32,558
You're welcome.
144
00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:34,936
Hey! See you on the field
tomorrow, buddy boy.
145
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,312
We'll talk crypto
strat in the dugout.
146
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,814
Man: Thanks. Sports.
147
00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:40,900
Mason, good morning.
148
00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:42,610
So, I need your spot
in the game tomorrow.
149
00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:45,154
Ohh, no can do, Shmelly Nelly.
150
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:46,948
LinkedIn says that out
of office activities
151
00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:48,282
are the number
one way to network
152
00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:50,117
and make meaningful connections.
153
00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:53,162
I didn't want to have
to do this, but, um...
154
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,540
I know some things you
don't want out in the open.
155
00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:57,375
Like what? Three words...
156
00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:59,961
Christmas party.
Wrapping paper. Tina.
157
00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:01,254
It's yours.
158
00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:06,575
Wow, that was a good guess.
159
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,515
Welcome to the big game!
The Rumble in the Park,
160
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:14,267
the battle of the presses,
161
00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:16,936
the first ever head-to-head
throw-down between KQUT
162
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,254
and your SoCal Independents.
163
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:23,442
Ooh! Hey, look at you. Hey.
164
00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,778
This outfit says I'm a
player, and I'm a play a.
165
00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:27,488
I am. Yeah.
166
00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:28,739
But I'm not sure I can
say the rest for my team.
167
00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:29,991
Carl's doing Karate Kid.
168
00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:32,660
Ruth wore Birkenstocks.
169
00:06:32,684 --> 00:06:34,245
And, Greg, what is
Greg even doing here?
170
00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:36,122
Greg is allergic to bees!
171
00:06:36,146 --> 00:06:37,665
Okay, so we're not going
to care about any of that.
172
00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:40,209
We are going to focus on
flirting with TJ. Right.
173
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,669
Got it, got it, got it,
got it, got it, got it.
174
00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:43,296
Ooh, boy, that's a
lot of gum. Mm-hmm.
175
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,464
What's going on here? What?
176
00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:47,049
These look like they're from
the '80s and not the good part.
177
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:48,843
Those are my lucky shades. I
took my team to state finals
178
00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:50,678
in those. They should
have stayed there, okay?
179
00:06:50,702 --> 00:06:53,514
So time out. Pay attention
to your Crush Coach.
180
00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:55,850
Uh-huh. Okay. There we
go. Head in the game.
181
00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:57,393
These are the only plays that
you need to care about, alright?
182
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,186
The first one is
called the Look Away.
183
00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:00,688
Okay. We're gonna smile.
184
00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:02,773
Gonna laugh.
185
00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:04,483
We're gonna look away.
186
00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:06,944
I can do that. Next up
is the Squeeze Play.
187
00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:08,529
This is how the Squeeze...
Oh, I know the Squeeze Play.
188
00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:10,031
This is when a batter
bunts, and the guy on third
189
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,449
tries to steal home.
190
00:07:11,473 --> 00:07:13,034
Get that out of your brain.
191
00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:14,368
That is disgusting.
192
00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:16,746
The Squeeze Play
goes down like this.
193
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:17,997
Okay. You do a touch.
194
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,081
Oh. You do a squeeze.
195
00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:21,375
Ooh. You do a release.
196
00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:23,169
I just got goosebumps. I know!
197
00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:24,545
Alright, well, thank
you for the training,
198
00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:26,213
but don't worry,
I got this. Yeah.
199
00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:27,506
Today is about me
and TJ. That's right.
200
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:29,383
I'm not even going to
think about the fact
201
00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:31,302
that Cheryl is in the
outfield pulling dandelions.
202
00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:33,137
Cheryl, what the
hell are you doing?!
203
00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:35,306
Get up! This is gonna
be a long season.
204
00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:37,767
To your feet,
Cheryl! To your feet.
205
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:41,520
Today's game is a veritable
who's who in news and softball.
206
00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:44,690
I believe I spot
kajillionaire Duncan Rhodes.
207
00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:46,108
How fun.
208
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:49,320
Chairs with no
armrests or cushions
209
00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:51,322
or backs.
210
00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:53,074
Well, well, well.
211
00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:56,577
If it isn't Sharon Darynson.
212
00:07:56,601 --> 00:08:00,164
Look at her, huh, showing
up in her business casual,
213
00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:02,124
trying to make me feel bad,
214
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:06,212
like I'm some kind of stiff,
out-of-touch corporate titan.
215
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:09,423
Well, not today,
Sharon Darynson.
216
00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:11,175
Huh?
217
00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:12,968
Do me a favor. Hold
this, will you?
218
00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:14,619
Put the hot dog down.
219
00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:19,183
What the hell are you doing?
220
00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:20,601
Whitening trays.
221
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,561
I have a special
meeting later tonight.
222
00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:25,463
Keep the mouth apparatus
away from Sharon Darynson.
223
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,693
Wow, I love the cleats.
224
00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:31,028
Thanks. Yeah, I'm still the
same size I was in high school.
225
00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:35,199
Okay.
226
00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:36,826
Hey, team, let's huddle up.
227
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,452
Alright. I want today
to be all about fun.
228
00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:40,496
Win or lose, we're
gonna have a great time.
229
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:41,789
Mm. What position do
you guys want to play?
230
00:08:41,813 --> 00:08:43,207
I don't care, as long
as I get the chance
231
00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:44,750
to tell my ex-girlfriend
232
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:46,168
that she is a life-stealing,
poisonous serpent.
233
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:48,629
So... third base? Yeah, sure.
234
00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:50,798
Cheryl, what position
do you think sounds fun?
235
00:08:50,822 --> 00:08:52,591
Well, shortstop sounds cute.
236
00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:55,845
It sounds like short
stack, and I love pancakes.
237
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,596
That is cute.
238
00:08:57,620 --> 00:09:00,016
Um, Coach, just, uh... just
curious. I-I really love
239
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,476
the, like, "win, lose, picking
positions for fun" thing.
240
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,895
But also, when I used to play,
241
00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:07,565
you know, we would give people
positions based on their skills
242
00:09:07,589 --> 00:09:09,692
so that we had the
best chance at winning.
243
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:11,444
Nell bringing the
fire. I like it.
244
00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:13,487
Oh. Rah. Yeah. Where
do you want to play?
245
00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:15,281
Oh, it doesn't matter
to me, but... Shortstop.
246
00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:17,533
Sorry, Cheryl.
247
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,034
Mm!
248
00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:20,536
Ah, ow.
249
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,538
Okay. You can have
shortstop. Yay.
250
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:23,998
Cheryl, I think
you're gonna find
251
00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:25,166
second base a lot of laughs.
252
00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:27,418
Doesn't sound like short stack.
253
00:09:27,442 --> 00:09:29,879
Let's go ahead
and warm up. Yeah.
254
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,922
I think I have three or
four bottles or something.
255
00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:34,050
Oh, God. Lexi's here.
256
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,051
Why don't you go sit with her?
257
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,677
I can't. Why?
258
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:38,304
I've prepared two
hours' worth of topics
259
00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:39,680
to discuss on our first date
260
00:09:39,704 --> 00:09:41,557
college, movies,
261
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:44,393
favorite land mammal should
get us through dessert.
262
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:46,437
But I can't afford to
burn through any of these
263
00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:48,022
before tonight.
I'm sure you will
264
00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:50,566
come up with something
to talk about naturally.
265
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,651
Open conversation isn't really
a comfortable space for me.
266
00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:54,528
If I know women,
267
00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:57,740
Lexi definitely wants
you to come over there.
268
00:09:57,764 --> 00:10:00,159
Oh, please don't
come over here.
269
00:10:00,183 --> 00:10:02,828
Go on. Please don't
come over here.
270
00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:04,622
Look at her, huh?
271
00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:06,665
Trying to play the mind games.
272
00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:10,002
Yeah? I'll take the
bait, Sharon Darynson.
273
00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:14,465
Hello, Sharon. I
didn't see you here.
274
00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:16,926
I saw you see me,
so that's a lie.
275
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,178
So, how's TV news, huh?
276
00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:21,555
Oh, I'm sorry, are
you legally allowed
277
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:25,518
to refer to what you spray
all over the screen as "news"?
278
00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,478
Our numbers have
never been better.
279
00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:29,522
How is print journalism? Is
that still circling the drain,
280
00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:31,607
or did society already flush it?
281
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,317
We're holding our
own. That's because
282
00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:35,319
my asthmatic
97-year-old grandmother
283
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:37,321
still subscribes to your paper.
284
00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:40,491
She uses it to line her
cockatoo's birdcage.
285
00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:44,078
She's incontinent. The
bird, not my grandmother.
286
00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:45,496
Grandma's as tight as a drum.
287
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:46,872
You know what? You
and your grandma
288
00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:48,791
can insult me all you want,
289
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:50,626
but I don't think you're going
to be so full of yourselves
290
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,711
when you lose today.
291
00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:54,255
Oh, really? Well, if you're
so sure you're going to win,
292
00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:55,714
why don't we make a little wager
293
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:58,092
to make this game a little
bit more interesting?
294
00:10:58,116 --> 00:11:01,554
A little shrimp
wager? No, thanks.
295
00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:04,581
Let's go jumbo, Sharon Darynson.
296
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,227
Let's see who we
have in the crowd.
297
00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:10,354
Any lovebirds for the kiss cam?
298
00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:12,505
Hello, there. Hello.
299
00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:16,735
So, this is softball.
300
00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:21,198
Yes. I love how
301
00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:23,993
outside it is.
302
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,162
You're gonna do that right
out here in the open?
303
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,831
What are you, a cop?
304
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:30,040
How's our girl doing?
305
00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:31,375
She seems a little intense.
306
00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:33,026
Nell! Hey, Nell.
307
00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:38,382
What the hell kind
of sign is that?
308
00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:39,758
Pull your braid
over your shoulder.
309
00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:41,576
It looks really cute that way.
310
00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:47,016
Like that. You ready to play?
311
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,642
I was born ready. Good.
312
00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:50,394
Oh. 'Cause I'm
gonna call this game
313
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:51,979
tighter than a
beetle's butt crack.
314
00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:54,356
You're gonna rue the
day you stole my spot.
315
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:57,902
I am gonna haunt your dreams.
316
00:11:57,926 --> 00:11:59,862
Batter up! Geez.
317
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,614
Play ball!
318
00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:04,950
♪ Here she comes now
sayin' Mony Mony ♪
319
00:12:06,768 --> 00:12:08,204
Man: You're out!
320
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,622
Looking good out there, Serrano.
321
00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:10,706
Thanks.
322
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:13,918
♪ Come on Mony ♪
323
00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:16,795
Great job out there, Carl!
324
00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:19,465
Yeah. Keep it up.
"It" being your glove
325
00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:22,134
so that you don't
miss easy flies, okay?
326
00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:24,637
Sam: Nell! ♪ You gotta toss
and turn and feel all right ♪
327
00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:25,888
I mean I believe in your ability
328
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:27,473
to use your hands and your eyes!
329
00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:29,642
You want a drink? Yes!
330
00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:33,604
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
331
00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:36,190
♪ 'Cause you make me feel ♪
332
00:12:36,214 --> 00:12:38,192
Mason: Safe! What?!
333
00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:40,319
Safe?! Safe?! Are you kidding?!
334
00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:42,655
Did you see what I saw? Safe?
You know what's not safe?
335
00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:44,865
You're not safe, Mason. So you
better sleep with one eye open,
336
00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:47,868
you little bi-i
337
00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:50,454
beautiful baby boy.
338
00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:52,581
Mm!
339
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,500
Ah, rough start for
the SoCal Independents.
340
00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:56,693
Let's see if someone
scored in the stands.
341
00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:01,340
Have you
342
00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:04,551
seen any good movies?
343
00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:06,369
Yes.
344
00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:10,557
Awkward.
345
00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:13,143
And now up to bat,
Dennis Simbeaux-Jones.
346
00:13:13,167 --> 00:13:14,853
You got this, Dennis, okay?
347
00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:16,438
Pearl: Easy out! You
just get on first,
348
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:18,524
and ol' Nelly's gonna
take you right on home.
349
00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:20,442
Easy out! You know, I already
350
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:21,986
told off Pearl this morning.
351
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:23,570
Nell: Oh! In the shower.
352
00:13:23,594 --> 00:13:25,656
In my head. It actually
went really well.
353
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:27,783
Mm. Did you get on
base in the shower?
354
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,451
'Cause that's what
I need you to do.
355
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:31,829
Okay. Let's go. Come
on, Dennis! Let's go.
356
00:13:31,853 --> 00:13:34,873
Oh. Whoo!
357
00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:36,292
Pearl: Yeah, easy out.
358
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,002
Also, he'll ditch
you on your birthday
359
00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:40,296
to watch a preview of
"Shrek the Musical."
360
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,548
Previews are where
the magic happens.
361
00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:50,556
Mason: Strike one.
362
00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:52,349
Strike.
363
00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:53,851
Strike three. You're out.
364
00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:55,310
Pearl: I told you.
365
00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,398
Wrong way. Dennis: Huh?
366
00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:00,941
Got it.
367
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:02,818
I love the feeling of winning.
368
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,778
It's like eating
the last shrimp.
369
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,740
I knew it was on purpose.
370
00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:09,825
Of course it was. I saw the
way you looked at that shrimp
371
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,410
and then made a yummy sound.
372
00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:14,079
You left the tail just
to taunt me, didn't you?
373
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:16,248
Here's the kicker. I'm
allergic to shellfish,
374
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:18,250
so it made my throat
close and my mouth laugh.
375
00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:31,764
Yes! Yes!
376
00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:34,808
Ah, another disappointing ending
for your SoCal Independents,
377
00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:36,226
who are down 4-0.
378
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:39,021
Okay. Time out! Nell? Okay.
379
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:40,981
How do you think
it's going today?
380
00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:43,150
Well, I don't think we're going
to make it on Sports Center,
381
00:14:43,174 --> 00:14:44,777
but we're having fun
and doing our best.
382
00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:46,028
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
383
00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:47,154
Nell, what do you think?
384
00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:49,073
Yeah, I-I think what TJ said.
385
00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:50,199
Alright, what if I told you
386
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:52,409
I had $1 million
riding on this game?
387
00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:54,161
What would you do differently?
I'd bring Carl in.
388
00:14:54,185 --> 00:14:55,412
He can barely pick up a stapler,
389
00:14:55,436 --> 00:14:57,039
let alone throw
from the outfield.
390
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:58,582
I'd move Sara to first
'cause she can't run
391
00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:00,751
in those heel spurs.
And Dave is a lefty,
392
00:15:00,775 --> 00:15:02,169
so I'd bring him
to the right field,
393
00:15:02,193 --> 00:15:03,504
and I'd push Jill to
center. Interesting.
394
00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:04,922
Alright, give me
the ball, Skipper.
395
00:15:04,946 --> 00:15:06,465
Alright, Nell's the coach now.
396
00:15:06,489 --> 00:15:09,134
Oh, I... No, is...
He was doing great.
397
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:10,159
You came to win the game.
398
00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:17,250
What the hell you looking at?
399
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:20,085
Huh?
400
00:15:23,965 --> 00:15:26,819
Here's where we're at,
folks. SoCal is losing,
401
00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:28,153
romance is fizzling,
and rumor has it
402
00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:29,321
there's a major
wager on the game.
403
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:31,115
I really screwed
that up. You did,
404
00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:32,619
and I was giving
you all the signals.
405
00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:36,453
What is that supposed
to even mean?
406
00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:37,871
Your boobs look great, and
it makes me really happy.
407
00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:39,748
We've been drinking.
408
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:40,958
Okay, what am I
supposed to do now?
409
00:15:40,982 --> 00:15:42,292
Duncan wants me to win,
410
00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:43,752
TJ thinks I'm a
softball monster,
411
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,712
and now our flirtuation
is a disaster.
412
00:15:45,736 --> 00:15:48,423
That is called a "flirsaster."
413
00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:50,092
That's funny, Cricket.
414
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:51,510
Cricket, this is
not funny, okay?
415
00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:53,512
This is a very
delicate situation
416
00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:54,930
where one person needs to admit
that they like the other one,
417
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,682
but we're running out of time.
418
00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:57,933
Come on, Crush Coach,
what am I supposed to do?
419
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,476
Let me consult the experts.
420
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:00,936
I follow this great
22-year-old influencer.
421
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,563
She will know exactly
what to do. Okay?
422
00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:04,314
Are you two really
looking at social media
423
00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:06,275
to figure out how to talk
to people and be real?
424
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:07,734
Yeah. Yeah.
425
00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:09,403
Do you know what we
did in my day? Mnh.
426
00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:11,488
We talked to people,
and we were real.
427
00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:12,781
That sounds so hard.
It's a lot of work.
428
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:14,348
Yeah.
429
00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:17,911
Wow. Was that fast?
430
00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:21,039
Yes. Ohh. Good.
431
00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:24,376
Does this do anything else?
432
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,818
No.
433
00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:32,718
I feel like this isn't working.
434
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:34,219
I was hoping it was just me.
435
00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:35,721
Maybe we're just not meant
436
00:16:35,745 --> 00:16:37,639
for this whole sitting
and talking thing.
437
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:40,434
Maybe we're just
two sexual beings?
438
00:16:40,458 --> 00:16:42,418
Only meant for bodily
connection and nothing more?
439
00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:48,775
Oh, good God. Look at
Mason gulping that down.
440
00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:50,903
I've seen buzzards
with more self-control.
441
00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:52,779
I hope he got consent
from the water bottle.
442
00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:56,575
Look at Ruth. She's
holding on to that bat
443
00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:58,452
like it's her second husband.
444
00:16:58,476 --> 00:17:00,412
I hear the bat's refusing to
go to couples' therapy, too.
445
00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:07,461
Hey. So, um...
446
00:17:07,485 --> 00:17:09,171
I'm sorry. About what?
447
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:11,215
You're this nice
chocolate chip cookie,
448
00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:13,258
and I'm a softball monster.
449
00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:15,093
Are you okay?
450
00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:17,888
I've been trying to hide
this part of who I am,
451
00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:19,306
because I didn't want you to see
452
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:21,266
that I'm actually
really competitive.
453
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:23,060
Oh, I already knew that.
454
00:17:23,084 --> 00:17:25,646
Mason: Strike three!
You're outta here!
455
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:27,856
Tina: And that's the
bottom of the sixth, folks.
456
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,024
Alright, let's take the field.
457
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:32,069
So you don't care
that I'm so... me?
458
00:17:32,093 --> 00:17:35,405
Are you kidding? I love
how passionate you are.
459
00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:36,823
So, you like me?
460
00:17:36,847 --> 00:17:38,700
Like, like me, like me?
461
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:40,911
Nell, I come to
your floor every day
462
00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:43,038
to have coffee that
tastes like New Jersey
463
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:45,123
just to see you.
464
00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:46,917
Yes, I like you,
like you very much.
465
00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:48,627
You said it. Yeah, I did say it.
466
00:17:48,651 --> 00:17:49,819
Yeah. Yeah.
467
00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:54,258
Wait... Um, you're kind of
leaving me hanging here.
468
00:17:54,282 --> 00:17:56,009
Because I don't know.
469
00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:58,136
I have to think about
it. Yeah, of course.
470
00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,264
You're a dummy! Of
course I like you.
471
00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:02,266
You do? Yeah. Play
better, though.
472
00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:03,976
It's embarrassing.
473
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,478
Are we playing ball, or
are we playing grab-ass?
474
00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:08,313
Let's go!
475
00:18:24,395 --> 00:18:26,331
Okay!
476
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,000
Top of the ninth. It's
a real nail-biter.
477
00:18:28,024 --> 00:18:30,085
Bases are loaded. Two outs.
478
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:32,421
This could be the last
chance for SoCal Independent.
479
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:35,173
Print journalism could
really use a win here, folks.
480
00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:37,175
Alright, Dennis! Let's go.
Alright, Dennis. Dennis, let's go.
481
00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:38,969
Remember, you should
be reporting live
482
00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:41,596
from a flood zone right now,
but Pearl took that away!
483
00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:42,973
Tina: And as luck would have it,
484
00:18:42,997 --> 00:18:44,516
up next is Dennis
Simbeaux-Jones.
485
00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:45,976
Oh, crap.
486
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,312
You can do this, you
excitable little fella
487
00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:50,480
whose name I keep forgetting.
488
00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:52,065
You're such a great leader.
489
00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:54,735
Yeah! Nobody's
stopping my Dennis.
490
00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:56,153
That's quite the
stance. That is...
491
00:18:56,177 --> 00:18:57,738
That is an interesting
stance. Oh.
492
00:18:57,762 --> 00:18:59,865
Here comes the pitch.
493
00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:06,830
Ow!
494
00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:08,165
Oh! Yes! Oh! Oh!
495
00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:09,249
Ow!
496
00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:10,250
Take your base.
497
00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:11,585
Yeah! Yeah!
498
00:19:11,609 --> 00:19:12,961
Yeah! Dennis, you did it!
499
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,254
You stood there and
you did nothing,
500
00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:15,464
and now you get to
go to first base!
501
00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:16,548
What is this game?
502
00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:17,841
Let's go!
503
00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:19,384
Let's go, baby! Run!
504
00:19:21,035 --> 00:19:23,013
Pearl, you're going down.
505
00:19:23,037 --> 00:19:25,682
Ben: Yay, Denny!
506
00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:28,644
Oh, Benny, you guys made it! Hi!
507
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,395
Whoo-hoo!
508
00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:35,567
What am I doing?
509
00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:37,319
No, no, what is
he doing? Just go.
510
00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:39,571
Oh, for crying out loud.
511
00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:44,451
Nell: No. No, no,
no, Dennis! No, no!
512
00:19:44,475 --> 00:19:45,952
No, no, no, no, no, no,
no! No, no, no, no, Dennis.
513
00:19:45,976 --> 00:19:47,412
Dennis, go back! Go back! Aah!
514
00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:50,457
Runner outside the
base path. You're out!
515
00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:55,587
That's the ballgame!
516
00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:57,005
How do I get out?
517
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,799
The door over there!
Thank you so much.
518
00:19:58,823 --> 00:20:00,467
And that's out number three.
519
00:20:00,491 --> 00:20:03,178
This game is over. Who's
giving me a ride home?
520
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,763
You think you'd take
a million dollars
521
00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:06,556
instead of our actual bet?
522
00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:07,517
Not a chance.
523
00:20:07,541 --> 00:20:09,792
Uh-huh. Yeah.
524
00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:12,938
Sorry we lost. Ah,
we almost had it,
525
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:14,731
but Dennis really imploded. Ugh!
526
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:19,027
Is that gonna be us? An
office romance gone wrong
527
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,946
that's gonna haunt us for years?
528
00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:23,365
Wow. Romance. That's a big word.
529
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:24,658
Yeah. You're right.
530
00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:27,619
How about this word? Mm?
531
00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:29,019
Date.
532
00:20:30,521 --> 00:20:33,208
Yes. I'm in.
533
00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:40,215
He asked me out.
534
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:42,175
And that is how
you play the game.
535
00:20:42,199 --> 00:20:44,261
That's how you play the
game. Wait a minute.
536
00:20:44,285 --> 00:20:45,925
Did you say that
already? I just said it.
537
00:20:48,122 --> 00:20:50,726
We lost the game.
538
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:53,145
And since you were the coach,
the buck stops with you.
539
00:20:53,169 --> 00:20:55,856
And you'll have to pay
the bet that I lost
540
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:58,191
to that petty woman,
Sharon Darynson.
541
00:20:58,215 --> 00:20:59,734
I don't have a million dollars.
542
00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:01,278
Oh, this is worse.
543
00:21:01,302 --> 00:21:06,032
You will be taking
care of Mrs. Crumball
544
00:21:06,056 --> 00:21:08,201
for Sharon Darynson's
grandmother
545
00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:10,662
until she gets back
from her cruise.
546
00:21:10,686 --> 00:21:12,706
Around the world.
547
00:21:12,730 --> 00:21:13,915
It was Dennis' fault.
548
00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:15,375
I don't know who that is.
549
00:21:15,399 --> 00:21:16,793
Okay.40322
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