All language subtitles for Homicide life on the street season 1 episode 1 to 9S03E04 - A Model Citizen

Would you look at this.

- Pigeons.
- Not a pigeon, it's from a waterfowl.

- A what?
- A waterfowl from a mallard.

- A duck?
- A well-fed duck.

Right,
like you can tell the difference.

- It couldn't come from a seagull?
- No, gulls have a milky white splurter.

Notice the lobular pattern,
these splays within splays?

- Munch, why do you know these things?
- I'm an aware human being.

Right, and knowing about bird spluts
makes you aware!

No, bird spluts would be
a non-migratory avarian -

the droppings
of a land-based inhabitant,

like a cardinal, a robin,
a common sparrow.

- This here is a dejecta.
- I see. I get it.

What this is about is you've been
too long without a woman.

You want a date? I'll get you one.
I'll pay for it, to take care of it.

- I don't need a woman.
- Oh, no?

No. I'm the new man, Stan.
I embrace what is overlooked.

As the millennium approaches,
I'll take the next step,

but unlike some people I know,
I continue to evolve.

Still looks like spluts.

- I'll give you spluts.
- Yeah.

Mm-hm

I cover

The waterfront

Watching

The sea, sea, sea

I cover

The waterfront

I could see

The ships

Coming in

To the harbour

I could see, see, see

The people

Getting off home

I could not see, see

When you

Got onboard

I cover

The waterfront

And after a while

All the ships

Left the harbour

And headed for their

Next

Destination...

Meldrick Lewis, Detective Supremo,
champion of the people.

Morning, Gee.

Does your equally illustrious partner,
doubly supremo, Maestro Crosetti,

deign to grace us with his presence
after his return from his vacation?

- Deign to what?
- Where's Chuckles?

He'll be in in a while, he's got flu.

He has the cheek to come off vacation
and get flu?

It's this high fibre diet he's on,
it's lowered his resistance.

Don't remind me of high fibre.
It's wreaking havoc with my plumbing.

I'm beyond the maximum 100 points
on my cholesterol.

I could be a poster boy for Crisco.
We got a shooting.

Spangler, Sonny, over at Perkins
Homes. Looks like the wife.

- You and Crosetti take it.
- You got it.

Damn doctors and their diets.
I say I'm hungry, they just laugh.

- You look good, Gee.
- Oh, to live with gusto. I used to...

- live with gusto.
- Gusto's the word for you, Gee.

Now it's all Oprah and aerobics.
I'm a shambles. Get on that shooting.

So you're riding solo again, huh?

I think you popped Crosetti,
the body's in the trunk.

I wish.

So, what is this -
you and Steve splitting or what?

No, why, what you say that for?

Come on, you guys haven't been
buddy-buddy the past couple of weeks.

Speculation starts to make its way...

There's bad blood.

Does he say this?
When did he says this?

You're saying, I'm not saying.

The guy talks to me, it's to put
a curse on me. I avoid the man.

You know what I'm starting to think?

I'm starting to think maybe I said
something to tick him off.

He was supposed to be back
from vacation three days ago.

I call his house, leave messages,
go places he hangs out.

I even called his daughter
and she ain't heard from him.

Three days I've been covering
for the little salami brain.

All I said was I'm thinking of
visiting my ex-wife.

She calls from Santa Barbara,
she says come on out, you know,

see her new house and I think,
I dunno, as long as she's inviting,

maybe I should consider accepting.

You're divorced. Divorced people
don't visit each other.

Divorced people hate each other.
This I know.

I'm divorced twice.
I never speak to my exes.

I've never been to Santa Barbara,
Munch.

What've we got?

Black wingtips - a man.

In Balto, yes, in Santa Barbara
who knows who wears what.

Well, whoever this is, they've been in
the water, I'm gonna guess, a week.

I hate these kinda suicides.

You making a call - this is a suicide?

Right, I spoke out of turn.
You are the primary, Stan.

- Fraternal Order Of Police.
- Oh, no, we got a cop here?

What'd I do, Gee?

Come in and close the door.

What's this, Gee?

That's Crosetti's. How'd you get that?

We found his car nearby.
His raincoat's folded neatly.

There's a rosary on the raincoat.
It looks like he...

It's a suicide.

No.

No. I don't care if you got a note
and a confession,

my partner did not commit suicide.
I don't wanna hear the word.

I just wanna find the guy
that killed him, Gee.

Munch, what's your take on this?

Looks like a suicide.

- I have some doubts, though.
- Munch has some doubts, Gee.

- You called it before I did.
- Something's not right.

You called it. I agree with you.

Gee, this is my partner,
I know my partner.

How many suicides
have me and him stood over,

and always the speeches?

Crosetti believes in god, Gee.

My partner did not kill himself, Gee.
I know the man.

Somebody did something to Stevie.

We proceed on this as wrongful death.

Wrongful death?

Wrongful death? How?

Stan,
in your usual breathtaking manner,

start with the field interviews.

Talk to the people who knew Crosetti.
I should make a call to the daughter.

I'm at the market,
I guess it was about a month ago,

and I'm gonna cook home-made
for this girl I'm trying to impress.

I'm thinking a spaghetti sauce.

I ran into Steve
and I tell him what I'm up to,

and he starts yanking things
out of my shopping cart.

And he tells me a red sauce
is only garlic, a little diced onion,

tomato and maybe a splash of wine.

And I ask him, well,
what about all these other recipes -

how come they all ask for mushrooms,
peppers, this, that

and... Steve says,

it's because red sauce has
been taken over by the Protestants.

He seemed OK to me.

Crabby. You know the way he is.

Was.

Nothing unusual.
We really didn't talk much.

Jeez, he's really dead?

Did he seem unstable recently?

What do you mean recently?
He was always unstable.

What about his wife?

- Ex-wife.
- Were they having any problems?

Of course they were having problems,
they were divorced.

Divorced couples have problems.
At least, normal ones do.

Can we stay on track here?

Was he having any financial problems?

Yeah.

He was?

Yeah, don't we all?

Was he working any cases
that might've upset him?

I dunno...
Ask Meldrick.

- Ask Meldrick.
- Lewis would know.

- Check with Meldrick.
- What's Lewis say?

Meldrick?

I'm not talking to you guys.

Just listen to us.

Steve just closed
the Rena Winston case.

She hanged her son, Joey -
Joey Winston.

She hanged her little boy,
five-years-old.

Steve got a conviction,
Rena Winston's serving life.

My memory is he talked about this case
a lot, he obsessed with it.

I know where you're going with this,
OK.

He did not commit suicide. You're sons
of bitches for trying to prove he did.

Kick a man when he's down,
when you know who he is.

Y'all go ahead, do what you gotta do,
you won't get no help outta me.

What d'you mean
you're not going to the funeral?

- Is it gonna be held in a church?
- Sure, the service is.

- I don't go into churches any more.
- Well, since when?

You were in them plenty
going after that serial killer.

God and I
are not on a first name basis.

Let's just say
we're not on speaking terms.

You're illegal, Frank.
There's a hydrant.

You couldn't fit a dime
between the bumpers rear and front

and did I touch the other cars?
Not even a love tap!

We got a memo about illegal parking.

OK, OK, we get a ticket,
it's all yours.

Yeah, these are them,
these are Crosetti's favourites.

OK. How much?

$9 a dozen.

What, d'you get the winning lottery
number in these things?

So, we're gonna need enough for...

What d'you think,
maybe a coupla hundred people?

- You're celebrating?
- No, burying a friend.

We're having a reception
after the services.

I'm sorry.

So, what d'you think -
a couple of cookies per person?

It's cheaper than cake.

OK. We're gonna need
maybe 400 of these whatchamacallits.

OK, that's 33, maybe 34 dozen,
times nine - 306.

$306?
These are cookies.

How long do you think you'll need
to get this batch out...

Whoa, we're not gonna go $300
for cookies.

What?

This reception, it's for a policeman.
We're policemen, we work homicide.

Is there... something
you could do for us on the cookies?

- You didn't have to beg.
- I didn't beg.

This isn't about you buying
a CD player at Discount City,

this is Steve Crosetti.
We go retail on our friends.

- We're working with a budget here.
- You were hat in hand.

And she enjoyed the humiliation,
I could tell.

And I don't believe she's Italian.
Since when are Italians blonde, huh?

We go $300 on cookies,
what do we do for coffee? Huh?

What about soda?

Actually,
there are a lot of blonde Italians.

The Italians were raped and pillaged
by everyone,

from the Carthaginians to the French...
the vikings.

So, she gives you
a buck off of each dozen.

Don't you see, Frank, you bargained
Crosetti's good name for 33 bucks.

Damn department cars -
you can get it in but not out.

I would've given you $33
not to say anything.

Y'know, I don't know
even why I asked.

I'm gonna take out my gun
and shoot this damn car.

I'll start with that Cadillac in front
and this one in the rear.

That silly man and his silly cookies.

Do we have another suicide?

We don't know that yet.
We're looking into it now.

This will be the fourth
police suicide in the last ten months.

It looks bad for the department.

We still haven't determined
the cause of Crosetti's death.

If he was one of mine,
I'd protect him too, Al.

What, he's not one of yours?

We need a press blackout on this.

The media wants to know anything, look
dumb, refer them to public relations.

Let me get this straight. Steve's
death is a public relations problem?

We have people in public relations,
Lieutenant.

How about we let them do
public relations?

What about Crosetti's benefits?

His daughter's coming down. I wanna
tell her she'll be taken care of.

- No problem, he gave his best.
- She wants us to handle the funeral.

Well, if it's suicide,
no honour guard.

Why not?

He died, he's a cop.
He gets an honour guard.

We buried a detective
out of property crimes last month.

- Callance at South Wells?
- Yes.

He got one, I was there.

Public displays
lead to public questions.

Callance was found in the bathroom
of a hotel on the block

kneeling over the tub,
his blood running into the drain?

He knew when he did it,
we'd find him like that.

No honour guard.
No honour guard.

No honour guard.

- The peaches are wild tonight.
- Huh?

"Eat A Peach", The Allman Brothers.
I'm referring to the waitress.

Oh, you're hoping
to get lucky with her. I see.

I've been watching her
since I came in this place.

- She winks at everybody.
- She winked at you?

- Every time.
- Come on.

- Every time!
- Probably saw your wedding ring.

All the more reason, I'm safe for her.

You wanna
get rid of that wedding ring.

Wearing that ring so long after you've
been divorced is a bit... optimistic.

I didn't know Crosetti at all.

I didn't want to.

What ticks me off is I'm realising
how little I know about myself.

I don't know enough about who I am
or how I do the job I do,

to ask the right questions
for my fraternal brothers

to figure out
what one of us is all about.

I keep trying to remember Crosetti.

His desk
was three feet away from mine.

I can't remember if we said
any more than hey to each other

for a whole entire year.

I always treated Crosetti
with respect, didn't I?

Beatrice, come in, please.

I packed like I was coming here
for weeks.

I brought three different dresses.
I wasn't sure how formal to go.

It won't be formal.

I dunno. Dress blues, white gloves
and all that's pretty formal.

Beatrice, there may not be
any dress blues.

What about the honour guard?

There may not be an honour guard.

Why not? Isn't an honour guard
how it always is?

Dad always said he didn't mind dying,

because he knew
everybody would be standing there

saluting in their dress blues.

Beatrice, there's some... questions.

There's some... confusion...

...about how your dad died.

What questions?

I don't want to get into specificity
until I know all the facts.

Tell me.

It's possible...

...he may have killed himself.

Maybe a month ago
was the last time I spoke with Dad.

Six weeks ago, he had a cold.

Do you need me to sign any of these?

You do, but all that can wait.

I'm here right now.

- You doing OK?
- I need you to talk to Bolander.

What?
You want me to tell Bolander what?

To fudge the report?
To say Crosetti died of pneumonia?

Bolander's a bull in a china shop.

Once he gets started,
nothing will stop him.

I remember
someone approached me last year

and this someone had a friend
who was in big-time trouble.

And this someone, his best friend,
shoots his father, maybe, maybe not.

Now, his father's got cancer, so maybe,
maybe not, it's a mercy killing

but somehow, Beau,

somehow goes down
the father dies a suicide, remember?

Bolander is not going to listen to me.

I'm working on a couple of angles, OK?

Two possibilities at least.

Number one -
Crosetti was taken down by Farrell.

Crosetti arrested Farrell's son
last year and he swore vengeance.

Number two - Crosetti owes Marsollo
for horses, maybe more than I realised

but that's just between me and you.

Big Man is out to prove
what he wants to prove

and we know
he could prove the sun is cold.

What I need from you, Beau,
all I need from you,

is to slow him down.

Farrell? Farrell who?

The old man that uses a walker?

Marsollo? He cries if you even look
at him funny. Wake up, Meldrick!

I watched them slice up
my partner in the morgue.

Scheiner took... the electric saw,
slices off the top of his head.

They took his heart, weighed it

then he tossed it in a steel container
like the kind you get in a restaurant.

How many times have I been to the ME?

How many times have I seen him
slice the top of somebody's head off?

A coupla hundreds time maybe.
Maybe more.

But I never really noticed.
I never really watched...

...till I saw Steve.

I appreciate you
coming down.

Hey, Steve was one
of the few people

that came and offered me congrats
when I got my promotion.

Al, quit pacing, you're gonna
give yourself a heart attack.

Maybe we two can make the deputy
commissioner OK the honour guard.

I haven't slept in a week.

Last night I woke up in bed,
I was sweating,

my heart was pounding, I could feel
the pounding through my pyjamas.

Night terrors, huh?

The deputy commissioner says
he's very busy today

but if you write down what you need,

he'll get you an answer
as soon as possible.

He knows why we're here.

- He's very busy.
- He's a sonofabitch!

Your attitude
is not gonna change things.

All I'm requesting
is an honour guard.

If you write down the information,
I could type up a request for you.

But when would the deputy commissioner
be able to give his word on this?

- There's no telling.
- The funeral is tomorrow.

He takes on each piece of information
as it comes in.

He's a very, very thorough man.

The sooner we set things in motion,
the sooner you'll have an answer.

I have my answer already.

- Hey, John.
- Beau.

- You got a second?
- No.

What you reading?

Crosetti's caseload
over the last six months.

Oh, yeah?

- Any important clues? You mind if I sit?
- What d'you want, Beau?

I'm just trying to figure out what's
going on in the investigation, John!

Is Stan still on your case,
still claiming it's a suicide?

I wanna make sure
Steve comes out of this OK.

We all do, Beau. Problem is, what we
want and what is may not be the same.

- I'm just thinking about Steve.
- What, he's dead!

He's not gonna care either way.

- So the court presses on?
- Yeah.

Look, I tried to talk to Stan
to ask him to back off.

You did? No good?

You see me sitting here alone?
Then you know how it came out.

Meldrick, you wanna go get some supper
or something?

No, I'm just packing up
Steve's effects.

His daughter's downstairs. She...
she don't wanna come back up here.

- She seems like a sweet kid.
- Oh, yeah, she is, yeah.

She...
she said she can't breathe up here.

I know what she means.

Did you hear anything from the ME
about the cause?

No.

You wanna get some dinner
or something, I'll hang.

Nah, nah, I'll take care of this.

Thanks.

Goodnight.

- Beatrice?
- Detective Bolander, right?

You have a memory for names.
Almost no one remembers my name.

Sorry about your father.
He was a good man.

He was OK.

I know this is a difficult time...

...but can you possibly remember

your father acting...
somehow differently lately?

You know,
maybe it was health problems,

or he could have stress problems,
maybe have trouble sleeping?

Six weeks ago he had a cold.

Mum say anything about your father
acting differently?

My mum and dad never talked.

Is she dating someone or was?

She's been dressed in all black
since the day she and Dad split.

What about your dad? Maybe he
was having trouble with a girlfriend.

Dad had a girlfriend?
What was he doing with a girlfriend?

No, I didn't say he did. I mean,
I was trying to find out if he did.

Well... who is this girlfriend?

I didn't say he had a girlfriend.

I was just asking
if he had a girlfriend.

What you doing, Bolander?
Stanley, what you doing?

Hey, Bea, you all right?

- Beatrice, I'm sorry.
- Get away from the car, please.

Bea, what's the matter?

Did Dad have a girlfriend, Meldrick?
Is that why he left Mum and me?

Why d'you wanna ask her this stuff?

- Beatrice...
- Would you get away from the car!

You got questions? Why don't you just
ask me? I'm his damn partner!

Right, Meldrick. Right, I'll do that.

It's tomorrow.

Um... ginger ale and er...
cola, I guess.

No, we're not serving mixed drinks.
No liquor of any kind.

Because it's the law.
It's a city-owned building.

Well, sometimes I think
it's a pretty stupid idea too.

Uh-huh. Bye.

How are the preparations going?

Well, I told you not to worry,
so, don't worry.

What's this about you not attending
the requiem mass?

Bayliss is a blabbermouth.

I want you there, Frank.

Gee, unless you've heard differently,

freedom of religion
still applies in this country.

But this is not about faith, Frank,
this is about friendship.

Faith?

Friendship?

I want your best casket, Bernard.

- This is your brother?
- Yeah. Have I committed a crime here?

John, what d'you need?

- We're talking big favour.
- How much of a favour?

I never knew you had a brother.
I'm Tim.

Bernard. Why should he mention me?
I'm his younger brother.

- I'll always be younger than you.
- Where's this hostility coming from?

Is this what your mother wants?

- She's your mother first.
- I bring her joy, happiness and pride.

You bring her gladiolas
from yesterday's funeral.

- I'm getting nauseous.
- A brother who's an undertaker.

He never mentioned it.
Does Bolander know about this?

- Do you know Stan...
- OK, Bayliss, OK.

Talk caskets to me.

You can have stainless steel,
you can have steel and graphite,

you can have
steel, graphite and titanium.

Water-sealed, not water-sealed.

I can customise it with a candy apple
metal flake like a '63 vet.

You can have a standard silk interior
or the silk and linen finish,

or go top of the line
with a silk, linen, lace,

with a mother of pearl combo.

- How guilty are you feeling?
- It's for a very good friend.

Oh. So you wouldn't wanna
spend more on his box

than you would spend on him
if he were alive.

The rule of thumb is, the more guilt
the more is laid out for the box.

You know, it's funny
you being in Homicide, Munch,

and Bernard being an undertaker, both
of you dealing with death, it must be...

Bayliss, go wait in the car, OK?

How about this one right here?

- This one?
- Yeah.

Five grand.

That's the best I can do.
That's at my dealer cost.

That's for your best casket?

Oh, no, no. The best is over here.
The best would cost you eight grand.

That's what it cost you?

That's what it cost me -
eight thousand.

OK, we'll take it.

Between you and him, the holiday
dinner table must be a riot, huh?

Just one life affirming story
after another.

You started in the south west
district, didn't you?

No, Here, western,
before they tore the building down.

Any word from the medical examiner
about Crosetti -

about the cause of death?

Not yet. I asked Scheiner
to be thorough, to be sure.

I know everybody's on you
to do right by Steve,

to make sure
it doesn't come out as suicide.

Is that what you're asking,
Lieutenant - to make it a murder?

A murder with no murderer
is a murder that can't be solved.

If you order me to do it, I'll do it.

Hell, my clearance rate
is so low these days,

one more open case
ain't gonna make any difference.

Everybody says, "Do it for Steve."

But I keep thinking,
if he chose to commit suicide,

what right do I have, what right does
any of us have, to make that go away?

I don't agree with what he did,

but if that's his final statement,

should I wipe that clear...
just for our peace of mind?

Nobody wants to admit it, but
everybody knows what really happened.

If it's ruled a suicide,
his name will come off the board.

If it's a murder, Crosetti's name
will be up there all the time...

...reminding us.

In the old days,
the Italians wouldn't bury a suicide

in a graveyard or consecrated ground.
They'd take a body out of the village

and dig a hole at the point
where two roads crossed.

The crossroads.

The Italians believe that if someone
should come to the crossroads

and choose to end his life,
then he should be buried

where those who had the strength
to go on could walk over him.

The Italians are an unforgiving lot.

I know...

but we make great pasta.
It balances out.

Do you want me to quit? Do you
want me to stop my investigation?

No.

According to people I've talked to,
Steve was the happiest man in America.

- Maybe he was.
- Maybe. Maybe not.

I'd kinda like to hear what you think,
Chris.

Well, that night, Steve was happy.
Right, Evelyn?

Yeah.

He didn't say anything about feelings,
difficulties, whatever?

Nothing that would stand out
in my mind, no.

So, as far as you're concerned,
everything with Steve was hunky-dory?

Yeah, he was all right.
I mean, he was OK.

Chris, you know what?

I actually believe that when
I'm interrogating a suspect,

that I can tell when they're lying,
just by looking in their eyes

- But since you're blind, I don't know.
- Why would I lie?

- You tell me.
- You're saying I'm lying?

I'm just saying that when you were
shot, when you were blinded, Chris,

Steve went bazongas

until he caught the son of a bitch
that did this to you. Excuse me.

So maybe, I don't know,
you feel like you're beholden to him,

you owe him one.

Chris, if you don't tell him, I will.

Meldrick came by last night.

Meldrick was here?

Yeah. He told me and Evie
that you'd be coming around.

That you're trying to prove
Steve took his own life.

He said that, huh?
Well, what else did he say?

Not to give you any information.

He told it to everybody.

He talked to everybody?

Said we shouldn't answer
your questions.

He said we had to protect Steve
from you.

He said you were bloodless, Stan.

Hey, Gee, got the shooter
in the Perkins Homes case.

Wasn't the wife,
it was the guy's cousin.

Spangle sold his own cousin
bad heroin.

Proves the point -
don't do business with your relatives.

They're processing him downstairs
even as we speak.

Good job.
Thank you, Naomi.

About Crosetti, I got this angle, see?

Seems he was having an altercation
with some of the neighbours.

He was up all night playing jazz,
they threatened, he threatened.

- I wanna check it out.
- Tell Bolander.

Bolander ain't interested
in anything I gotta say.

- Even so, he's the primary.
- Gee, he'll ignore this, and you know it.

Meldrick, I know that Felton and
Howard solved the Perkins Homes case

because you were out chasing down
theories about Crosetti's death.

- I closed my eyes to give you time.
- This is a real lead.

- If it's not?
- I'll think of something else.

What, that he was murdered by a cult,
by aliens? Come on, man!

Yeah. Maybe.

Gee... Gee, I gotta do something.

All right, check this thing
with the neighbours out,

but if Stan hears what you're at,
I'll deny giving you permission, got it?

Got it.

Why don't you write down here
what I should or shouldn't know,

- who I should or shouldn't talk to.
- What's the problem, Stan?

The problem is, everywhere I go,

someone's been there before me,
influencing witnesses.

- I'm busy.
- Bolander, line two.

Munch, you take it.

It's my investigation.

Crosetti is my case
and my responsibility.

What you're doing
is called obstructing justice.

No, what I'm doing is called
investigating in an impartial manner

instead of dirtying
a man's reputation.

- What you scared of, Meldrick?
- Not you.

You can't protect Steve any more.
He's dead.

You gotta tear him down
in from of his daughter,

you gotta kick everybody.

He's dead.
He can't have any secrets any more.

You accused him of fooling around
to his daughter.

No, I didn't.
I asked, I never accused.

- I would know.
- Oh, yeah? You would know, huh?

What if Steve was fooling around?
Maybe if Steve was having an affair,

maybe you didn't know him at all.

You're protecting him?
You're protecting yourself maybe.

Say he's fooling around,
say he's doing a lot of things

you don't know about -
how's that make you look?

Doesn't make you a stand-up partner,
now, does it?

The ME has a preliminary report.

- Steve drowned.
- See, it was an accident.

In his blood and tissue toxicology,
Steve had.25 blood alcohol.

So, he's drunk.

In his stomach and kidneys
was the presence of alprazolam,

clonasipam, chlorodiazepoxide,
fenelzine, imipramine.

I mean,
the guy was a walking drug store

full of tranks and antidepressants
when he hit the water.

It's preliminary, huh?
Just preliminary.

He never even said goodbye.

I mean, the least he could do
would be to say goodbye.

I thought I knew him, Big Man.

Look at this stuff.

I hate him.

I hate what happened to him.

How he let himself go.

That's a Duncan lmperial.

I had one of those.

That's... that's the best.
That's top of the line.

Yeah.

It's a collector's item.

It's worth something.

He had it from when he was a kid.

He tried to give it to me
but I said I wouldn't take it.

When did he try to give it to you -
the yo-yo?

I dunno,
like, just before... he left.

- What, you mean on his vacation?
- Yeah, the day he left.

Then... maybe he did say goodbye.

OK, here we are.

I still can't understand
why you're not going to the church.

I don't have to explain myself.

You really are a selfish jerk.

Why you pissed at me?
Why aren't you in Granger's face?

Crosetti was a good cop. No matter how
he died, he deserves a cop's funeral,

which includes an honour guard.

How come you're not upstairs
giving Barnfather attitude?

Cos I don't expect them to behave
like human beings, Frank.

I guess I expected too much from you.

No, no.

I'm giving the eulogy
and I don't know what to say.

Why don't you just say that he was
kind to old women and dogs?

He hated old women and dogs.

Gee, the whole point of the eulogy
is to lie.

You're supposed to make the departed
seem virile.

I've finished the report on Steve.

All I need
is for you to sign off on it.

If we're going to go to the church,
we gotta go.

Take care, Frank.

- Where's Pembleton?
- Yeah, Bayliss, what's up with him?

I'm not my partner's keeper,
all right,

in the legal, biblical
or pejorative sense of the word.

There's no way this crowd
is gonna polish off 34 dozen cookies.

This is my Aunt Luna and Uncle Bo.

It's good you could be here.

I mean, it's nice... for Beatrice.

I'm sorry,
my mouth doesn't work so good.

You sure have a lot of red hair.

- Can't help noticing that in church.
- Thank you.

What you looking at her hair
in church for?

Don't you have any respect
for the dead?

I can't take you anywhere.

Gee, that was...
was nice what you said about Steve.

You think?
I wish I could do it over.

That's the trouble with funerals,
they're a one-shot deal.

The saxophone was a nice touch.
Thormann's idea.

Yeah, personally, I think the
New Orleans bit is a little much,

but hey, that's dumbo, huh?