Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:14,837 --> 00:00:19,863
For the past few years, Ricky
Gervais, Stephen Merchant, and Karl Pilkington
2
00:00:19,931 --> 00:00:24,555
have been meeting regularly for a
series of pointless conversations.
3
00:00:24,675 --> 00:00:26,301
This is one of them.
4
00:00:26,310 --> 00:00:27,890
Testing.
Is that all right?
5
00:00:30,344 --> 00:00:33,964
Hello, and welcome to The Ricky
Gervais Show, with me, Ricky Gervais,
6
00:00:33,999 --> 00:00:35,791
Stephen Merchant...
Hello.
7
00:00:35,825 --> 00:00:39,573
And a little round-headed buffoon.
That is... Karl Pilkington.
8
00:00:39,693 --> 00:00:40,817
Right.
9
00:00:40,937 --> 00:00:46,913
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
10
00:00:47,033 --> 00:00:51,196
Well, Karl, you are officially
a published author.
11
00:00:51,231 --> 00:00:53,732
And, and a copy will go
in the British Library.
12
00:00:53,766 --> 00:00:55,233
Will it?
Yeah.
13
00:00:55,267 --> 00:00:57,101
Well they have to
take every rubbish...
14
00:00:57,136 --> 00:00:58,670
I think it will go in the British
Library lavatory.
15
00:00:58,704 --> 00:01:00,173
- Yeah.
- From what I understand...
16
00:01:00,207 --> 00:01:01,575
It will
be in there.
17
00:01:01,610 --> 00:01:03,948
Uh, with like a collection
of like novelty postcards,
18
00:01:03,983 --> 00:01:05,720
- and maybe a Viz compendium.
- Yeah, exactly.
19
00:01:05,754 --> 00:01:07,257
You know...
20
00:01:07,291 --> 00:01:10,737
Yeah, so they have to... They take everything.
Just think of that.
21
00:01:11,374 --> 00:01:12,503
But why do they do this?
22
00:01:12,623 --> 00:01:14,452
Why do they think they've
gotta keep everything?
23
00:01:14,572 --> 00:01:17,754
Cause it's... We're living in a world now
where everything is sort of binable.
24
00:01:17,874 --> 00:01:20,037
And, you know, we use
stuff for what it is.
25
00:01:20,300 --> 00:01:22,073
"Binable?"
Well, that...
26
00:01:22,193 --> 00:01:24,151
No, I think you could say that.
That's fine. That's fine.
27
00:01:24,271 --> 00:01:25,581
Um...
28
00:01:25,701 --> 00:01:27,512
There was a sort of poetry to it, but
I think he stumbled across that.
29
00:01:27,632 --> 00:01:28,928
I don't think it
was intentional.
30
00:01:29,048 --> 00:01:31,886
Yeah, I mean I'm... I still haven't
got over him saying, "foodage."
31
00:01:33,156 --> 00:01:34,223
Do you know what
I mean, though?
32
00:01:34,343 --> 00:01:37,651
The, the world's changed. So why is
that rule still hanging around when...
33
00:01:37,771 --> 00:01:39,718
Well, it's not a rule. I mean,
it's not a rule that...
34
00:01:39,752 --> 00:01:42,741
You know, the country's gonna,
you know, live and die by.
35
00:01:42,776 --> 00:01:44,590
It's just that,
it is seen as a...
36
00:01:44,625 --> 00:01:48,002
A repository for knowledge,
for information.
37
00:01:48,122 --> 00:01:51,146
And I don't believe any old joker can
wander in there and get one of these books.
38
00:01:51,180 --> 00:01:52,997
I think you have
to either be a scholar.
39
00:01:53,031 --> 00:01:55,147
- I think maybe it's open for brief
window for students. - Yeah.
40
00:01:55,182 --> 00:01:58,447
But, you know, you can't, you couldn't just
wander in there and see your own book, Karl.
41
00:01:58,481 --> 00:02:00,257
You know...
There's some books that...
42
00:02:00,291 --> 00:02:04,304
Uh, they have to turn the page
for you in gloves so your...
43
00:02:04,339 --> 00:02:06,491
The amino acids...
I'd hate that.
44
00:02:06,525 --> 00:02:07,901
With yours it won't
matter. They'll just go,
45
00:02:07,935 --> 00:02:09,585
"It's over there," or
they'll throw it to you.
46
00:02:09,619 --> 00:02:11,574
Or they'll slide, they'll slide
it along the floor. No, it's...
47
00:02:11,608 --> 00:02:14,269
Or they say "Oh, I can't give it to you,
Karl, cause it's propping up this desk."
48
00:02:14,304 --> 00:02:16,013
Yeah.
49
00:02:16,023 --> 00:02:18,074
They'll kick it to you and say, "Put it
in the bog when you're finished with it."
50
00:02:18,108 --> 00:02:19,184
Yeah.
51
00:02:19,218 --> 00:02:20,561
It's just that thing
of being timed, though.
52
00:02:20,596 --> 00:02:22,015
I hate it when people go,
"Oh, have you read this?"
53
00:02:22,049 --> 00:02:23,867
And then I can't read it
properly, cause I'm thinking,
54
00:02:23,901 --> 00:02:25,676
"They're thinking I'm taking
ages there."
55
00:02:25,711 --> 00:02:27,259
Do you know what I mean?
So I have to scan read it.
56
00:02:27,294 --> 00:02:29,343
And they go, "Oh, it's good that."
And they go, "What do you think?"
57
00:02:29,378 --> 00:02:31,462
And I go, "Oh,
about what?"
58
00:02:32,967 --> 00:02:34,972
So I'd hate to find out someone
stood there with gloves on.
59
00:02:35,006 --> 00:02:37,610
Cause that isn't normal,
relaxing sort of reading is it?
60
00:02:37,646 --> 00:02:40,687
But it's not, it's not... You don't
go in to read the "Doomsday Book."
61
00:02:40,721 --> 00:02:42,793
Let's say, in order to
just have a relaxing read.
62
00:02:42,827 --> 00:02:44,862
You're going in there to study
it, you know, historically.
63
00:02:44,896 --> 00:02:50,197
To say they're professors and scholars
and scientists and historians.
64
00:02:50,231 --> 00:02:53,497
They don't wander in because it's raining
and they go, "What's a good read?"
65
00:02:53,532 --> 00:02:55,162
There's not a man
wearing white gloves
66
00:02:55,196 --> 00:02:56,726
turning the pages
of the latest Jackie Collins.
67
00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:00,524
Exactly.
Do you have Heat? I...
68
00:03:00,558 --> 00:03:04,199
Watching your lips move as you read,
to see if he should turn the next page.
69
00:03:06,402 --> 00:03:09,005
I suppose I shouldn't really feel guilty
cause at the end of the day, right...
70
00:03:09,039 --> 00:03:11,241
I mean, people always rave
about Shakespeare saying,
71
00:03:11,275 --> 00:03:14,674
"Oh, you know, his work
was good." Brilliant.
72
00:03:14,709 --> 00:03:16,376
But at
the same time...
73
00:03:16,410 --> 00:03:18,178
They probably put that on the
book when he brings another out.
74
00:03:18,212 --> 00:03:20,545
They put your review on it. "Oh,
that was good." Karl Pilkington.
75
00:03:20,580 --> 00:03:23,579
But at the same time, you know,
like some people will have a go.
76
00:03:23,614 --> 00:03:25,690
I'm ready for, for people having a go.
Like that Wendy did.
77
00:03:25,724 --> 00:03:27,963
- About my little films I made.
- It's her opinion.
78
00:03:27,997 --> 00:03:30,399
For those of you whodidn't hear, she slammed Karl.
79
00:03:30,433 --> 00:03:33,268
No, well, you know, each to
their own and that and, uh...
80
00:03:33,302 --> 00:03:36,941
You know, if everyone liked the same
thing, I don't know what we'd do, right?
81
00:03:36,976 --> 00:03:38,210
- Sure.
- Uh...
82
00:03:38,244 --> 00:03:40,145
You didn't do anything.
83
00:03:40,180 --> 00:03:42,981
So, so all I'm saying is...
Everybody raves about Shakespeare.
84
00:03:43,015 --> 00:03:44,949
Mmm.
When...
85
00:03:44,984 --> 00:03:49,648
If you properly looked at what he did, he,
he invented a lot of swearing words, right?
86
00:03:49,682 --> 00:03:51,750
Effing and Jeffing
and that. Now if...
87
00:03:51,784 --> 00:03:53,751
That was one of his?
88
00:03:53,786 --> 00:03:56,220
Well, there's Effing and
Jeffing, and Effing and Jeffing, Part II.
89
00:03:56,255 --> 00:04:00,023
But all I'm saying is, for some reason when
things were were brought out years ago.
90
00:04:00,058 --> 00:04:04,294
Um, people say they're good even
though they're not, is what I mean.
91
00:04:04,329 --> 00:04:09,499
When I was watching that documentary
about the, the real Indiana Jones, um...
92
00:04:09,533 --> 00:04:13,368
Brilliant. They dug out, um,
some rocks with drawings on.
93
00:04:13,403 --> 00:04:16,304
And they were like, oh, don't damage
'em, don't, don't mark the paint and...
94
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:17,839
And it's like, it's rubbish.
95
00:04:17,873 --> 00:04:19,774
It was like a stick
fellow with a yak.
96
00:04:19,808 --> 00:04:23,311
And if...now if that were found now...
97
00:04:23,345 --> 00:04:25,747
Or if a kid brought, showed me that,
I'd go, oh, it's not that good.
98
00:04:25,781 --> 00:04:29,750
So what I mean is... Cause stuff's
old, old stuff gets respect.
99
00:04:29,784 --> 00:04:31,418
But you're not judging it
on its aesthetic merits.
100
00:04:31,452 --> 00:04:33,453
You're judging it on its
historical importance.
101
00:04:33,487 --> 00:04:35,455
Because... I don't think
that's fair, though.
102
00:04:35,489 --> 00:04:38,056
Because when that, when that
fella drew that, it wasn't old.
103
00:04:38,091 --> 00:04:39,725
He did it when he
was knocking about.
104
00:04:39,759 --> 00:04:42,561
- No, but you must see the difference.
- Yes, but...
105
00:04:42,595 --> 00:04:48,800
Between you doing a, a stick man on a wall,
with a bit of chalk, near your local...
106
00:04:48,834 --> 00:04:54,104
And a cave painting that,
that, that they date to 10,000 years ago.
107
00:04:54,139 --> 00:04:57,608
Yeah so in 10,000 years' time,
when they find my story...
108
00:04:57,642 --> 00:05:01,030
Will it gain more respect
then, than it is now?
109
00:05:01,150 --> 00:05:02,284
No, less.
110
00:05:02,318 --> 00:05:04,419
But why is
it? Cause, I...
111
00:05:04,453 --> 00:05:08,222
Because people will more and
more realize what a buffoon you are.
112
00:05:08,256 --> 00:05:11,058
The more research we do, the
more you expose yourself,
113
00:05:11,092 --> 00:05:14,560
as an empty,
egg-headed, uh, moron.
114
00:05:14,594 --> 00:05:17,729
That's a friend speaking
right there, Ricky Gervais.
115
00:05:17,763 --> 00:05:19,697
He loves you like a brother.
No...
116
00:05:19,731 --> 00:05:21,665
I'm just, I just think...
117
00:05:21,699 --> 00:05:24,001
- You've mentioned him before, Steve,
this Pepys fella. - Yes.
118
00:05:24,035 --> 00:05:29,206
Has he done
anything else apart from a diary?
119
00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:32,576
Cause now I've done, now
I've done a book and a diary.
120
00:05:32,610 --> 00:05:35,679
That means you're better than
Pepys, is what you're thinking, isn't it?
121
00:05:35,714 --> 00:05:37,948
Well, I'm not gonna say that until
I know, but what else did he do?
122
00:05:37,982 --> 00:05:40,351
Well, Pepys wasn't a
writer predominantly. Right.
123
00:05:40,385 --> 00:05:42,652
I believe he was a, you know,
like a bureaucrat or something.
124
00:05:42,687 --> 00:05:46,055
But he kept a diary, which has since
become a historical landmark.
125
00:05:46,090 --> 00:05:48,091
And what did he say in it?
126
00:05:48,125 --> 00:05:50,493
Well it's, again, more because
it's both well-written,
127
00:05:50,527 --> 00:05:52,328
and it's also an
amazing insight into...
128
00:05:52,362 --> 00:05:54,229
A social document, as well. Yeah.
A social document, yeah.
129
00:05:54,263 --> 00:05:56,397
It's a social document
of that period.
130
00:05:56,432 --> 00:05:58,666
I mean yours is a social document but
it, it sort of revolves around...
131
00:05:58,700 --> 00:06:02,936
Uh, having egg and chips in a caf and
seeing a lady bird, which, you know...
132
00:06:02,971 --> 00:06:05,272
But that's, that's today's living.
That's what I'm saying.
133
00:06:05,306 --> 00:06:07,540
Well his, but his describes
the Great Fire of London...
134
00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:09,575
Which is what its most,
he's best remembered for.
135
00:06:09,610 --> 00:06:11,310
Yeah, but we haven't had one of them.
If we had one, I'd write it down.
136
00:06:11,345 --> 00:06:12,945
I'm only writing
what's happening.
137
00:06:12,979 --> 00:06:16,414
He, he was just lucky. He was about
in London when that happened.
138
00:06:16,448 --> 00:06:22,419
The thing is, if they read your diary, they'd
think, well nothing happened that year.
139
00:06:22,454 --> 00:06:25,155
Nothing important in the
world happened that year.
140
00:06:25,189 --> 00:06:27,490
Cause your diary doesn't just mention,
I mean, okay, yes, it does...
141
00:06:27,525 --> 00:06:30,026
It fails to mention any disasters in
London, cause we haven't had any.
142
00:06:30,060 --> 00:06:31,761
It doesn't mention
any world events.
143
00:06:31,796 --> 00:06:35,265
It doesn't mention wars in Iraq,
terrorism, it doesn't mention anything.
144
00:06:35,299 --> 00:06:37,333
But I don't need to. But that's
all being wrote about anyway.
145
00:06:37,368 --> 00:06:39,202
If you're saying there's a museum
that's keeping everything.
146
00:06:39,236 --> 00:06:40,903
There's loads of
other books for that.
147
00:06:40,937 --> 00:06:42,972
Who's looking up the fellow
whose skulls fell off?
148
00:06:43,006 --> 00:06:44,306
What?
149
00:06:44,341 --> 00:06:46,775
See? It's interesting, isn't it?
150
00:06:46,809 --> 00:06:48,143
A fellow's skull has fell off.
151
00:06:48,177 --> 00:06:50,511
What do you mean, his
skull has fell off?
152
00:06:50,545 --> 00:06:52,746
It's something to
do with circulation.
153
00:06:52,781 --> 00:06:54,614
But what do you mean
his skull fell off?
154
00:06:54,649 --> 00:06:56,683
Well it's in the diary. But
how can a skull fall off?
155
00:06:56,717 --> 00:07:00,553
Cause it's surrounded by tissue and it's got a brain.
And how can just a skull...
156
00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:04,123
How can it, how can it detach itself
from all the stuff surrounding it?
157
00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:06,959
He mislaid all his dreams.
But, but...
158
00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:10,062
But all I'm saying is, that's
that's not getting a looking.
159
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,964
No, because it's not
significant or probably true.
160
00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:17,302
Karl, you have the same concepts that you
worked out and decided that were true,
161
00:07:17,337 --> 00:07:19,070
at about 10, I think.
162
00:07:19,104 --> 00:07:22,006
I look at it, life, like a, like a big book.
Box of chocolates?
163
00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:24,074
- Like a big book.
- Right. Okay, yeah.
164
00:07:26,144 --> 00:07:28,579
And you know, sometimes you get halfway through
it, and you go, even though I've been,
165
00:07:28,613 --> 00:07:31,114
you know, been enjoying
it, I've had enough.
166
00:07:31,148 --> 00:07:32,682
- Give us another book.
- No.
167
00:07:32,717 --> 00:07:37,054
Your metaphor, analogy, whatever
you're trying to create there,
168
00:07:37,088 --> 00:07:39,188
falls down with, let's
have another book.
169
00:07:39,223 --> 00:07:40,656
Yeah.
No, no, no.
170
00:07:40,691 --> 00:07:44,593
You can either opt out of life,
or stick with it 'til the end.
171
00:07:44,627 --> 00:07:49,266
You can't go, uh, I'll be someone else now.
You can't do that.
172
00:07:49,300 --> 00:07:51,004
I know you think you can.
173
00:07:51,039 --> 00:07:53,140
And I think in your
world you can, you know,
174
00:07:53,175 --> 00:07:57,077
possibly be injected into an old woman's
head, when you've had enough...
175
00:07:57,111 --> 00:07:58,912
And you'd come
out a little baby.
176
00:07:58,946 --> 00:08:02,081
What I mean is, at the
moment, you know, my life...
177
00:08:02,116 --> 00:08:04,917
I'm gonna live to
74, 75, all right.
178
00:08:04,952 --> 00:08:07,152
Okay.
All right.
179
00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:10,889
So yeah, I am probably on page... What am I on?
A book that's got about 200...
180
00:08:10,923 --> 00:08:13,758
This is painful, Steve.
This is really painful.
181
00:08:13,792 --> 00:08:15,259
Come on, sorry, carry on.
182
00:08:15,294 --> 00:08:18,628
I'm on... Say my book's
got, uh, 300 pages in it.
183
00:08:18,663 --> 00:08:20,797
Yeah.
Few pictures and that.
184
00:08:20,831 --> 00:08:23,266
- It's a picture book.
- Um...
185
00:08:23,300 --> 00:08:26,502
That's the great thing about Karl's life.
It's a book for children.
186
00:08:26,536 --> 00:08:28,637
Is it? It's
a popup book.
187
00:08:28,671 --> 00:08:31,006
And it just... Every page
he pops in it he goes,
188
00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:32,407
"All right."
Ha, ha. "All right."
189
00:08:32,442 --> 00:08:35,476
I'm probably on
like, page about 170.
190
00:08:35,511 --> 00:08:37,813
Yeah.
That's so specific.
191
00:08:37,847 --> 00:08:40,182
He's gonna die at 74. Yeah.
192
00:08:40,249 --> 00:08:44,551
He's reading a book with a few pictures
in with 300 pages, and he's on 170.
193
00:08:44,586 --> 00:08:46,220
Go on, then.
So, right...
194
00:08:46,254 --> 00:08:50,157
If, if the book was too thick, all
right, and there was loads more pages...
195
00:08:50,191 --> 00:08:52,058
Let me tell you, this
book is way too thick.
196
00:08:52,093 --> 00:08:54,427
Yeah. If the book was
more thick, yeah.
197
00:08:54,461 --> 00:08:55,994
The book could not be thicker.
198
00:08:56,029 --> 00:09:01,031
If there was loads more pages left, I'd
go, I can't be bothered reading on.
199
00:09:01,066 --> 00:09:03,901
Right. Okay, no let him finish the analogy.
But you must...
200
00:09:03,935 --> 00:09:05,697
But he must have known
that when he saw the book.
201
00:09:05,732 --> 00:09:07,596
You don't... You've got
to finish this analogy.
202
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:09,798
Otherwise we're gonna be here all night.
Right, listen.
203
00:09:09,832 --> 00:09:13,168
He must have known how many pages there were
when he got the book out of the library.
204
00:09:13,202 --> 00:09:15,470
Yeah, but the way
they write books...
205
00:09:15,504 --> 00:09:18,172
They paint in pictures more at the beginning.
You're going, this is good.
206
00:09:18,207 --> 00:09:21,709
And then it, it gets a bit boring
as it goes on, doesn't it?
207
00:09:21,743 --> 00:09:23,811
Okay, well that works.
So you're saying that you...
208
00:09:23,879 --> 00:09:25,245
You were young...
No, it doesn't work!
209
00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:27,213
Because you just accepted that
that's what all books are like.
210
00:09:27,248 --> 00:09:28,881
Well, no, but there's a little
bit of poetry in that.
211
00:09:28,916 --> 00:09:30,950
Cause he's sort of...
He's actually saying that,
212
00:09:30,984 --> 00:09:33,118
when he was young, his
whole life was ahead of him.
213
00:09:33,152 --> 00:09:36,121
He couldn't wait. The whole world, the
promise that he was given of this world.
214
00:09:36,155 --> 00:09:38,856
And now he's, he's a bit
jaded and he's more cynical.
215
00:09:38,891 --> 00:09:43,122
And he realizes that the world hasn't got
as much to offer him, as he thought it was.
216
00:09:43,156 --> 00:09:44,739
Is that what you meant? Yeah.
217
00:09:44,773 --> 00:09:46,756
Liar.
218
00:09:50,370 --> 00:09:52,358
Actually, Karl, you like
sayings, don't you?
219
00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:54,474
Um, I've got a
list here of some of the...
220
00:09:54,508 --> 00:09:59,646
The sayings and phrases that
Shakespeare made up really.
221
00:09:59,681 --> 00:10:03,330
Um, "in a pickle," was his.
222
00:10:03,358 --> 00:10:04,385
Yeah.
223
00:10:04,419 --> 00:10:06,147
And we know what
"in a pickle," means.
224
00:10:06,181 --> 00:10:09,591
Yeah we know, we know what it means. I,
I, it's a saying I'd, I'd never use.
225
00:10:09,625 --> 00:10:12,307
Cause when you're in a pickle, it's
not something that you would say.
226
00:10:12,341 --> 00:10:14,329
No, if you're being sort
of, if you're captured,
227
00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:15,958
and you're being
tortured for information.
228
00:10:15,992 --> 00:10:18,907
Yeah. You wouldn't, and
you get access to a phone...
229
00:10:18,942 --> 00:10:22,718
You wouldn't call go, "MI5, I'm in a pickle."
Hmm.
230
00:10:22,752 --> 00:10:26,135
You'd be screaming, going,
"They've taken me teeth out."
231
00:10:26,170 --> 00:10:29,152
While you've been talking about that, I
just was looking on the computer at, uh...
232
00:10:29,180 --> 00:10:31,041
The "Pun of the Day" website.
233
00:10:31,075 --> 00:10:34,384
Uh, here's a couple that
you might, you might like.
234
00:10:34,418 --> 00:10:38,728
There was a sign on the lawn at a drug rehab
center that said, "Keep off the grass."
235
00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:44,461
Okay, okay now if the pun is the lowest form
of wit, and let's face it, sarcasm isn't.
236
00:10:44,496 --> 00:10:48,906
Sarcasm is up there compared to
the pun, then the drug pun...
237
00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:52,050
I think is one of
the lowest of the low.
238
00:10:52,084 --> 00:10:55,501
Oh, people who congratulate themselves
on getting drug references.
239
00:10:55,535 --> 00:10:58,317
Keep off the grass, will you?
Ha, ha. Grass, get it, grass?
240
00:10:58,352 --> 00:11:00,206
You know, they're smoking
the grass and that.
241
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:04,585
I think puns should be short
for punch him in the mouth.
242
00:11:04,619 --> 00:11:06,040
Idioms are better.
243
00:11:06,074 --> 00:11:08,429
Go on then, what's an idiom?
244
00:11:08,464 --> 00:11:10,585
Uh... Is that a new
word you made up?
245
00:11:10,620 --> 00:11:12,541
No, I... As in, Karl
Pilkington's a complete idiom.
246
00:11:12,575 --> 00:11:15,024
Yeah. I found out what it
was cause I thought, oh, I like them.
247
00:11:15,058 --> 00:11:16,419
What are they?
248
00:11:16,453 --> 00:11:19,002
Right. Yeah that's right. And
it's like little sayings.
249
00:11:19,036 --> 00:11:21,725
That sum stuff up. Go on, give
us an example of your favorite.
250
00:11:21,759 --> 00:11:24,675
Okay, I'll just say one.
Uh, uh, talking about sayings.
251
00:11:24,709 --> 00:11:27,158
Karl was getting fed up
with somewhat. He was, uh...
252
00:11:27,192 --> 00:11:29,781
Uh, he was fed up with not
getting replies from something.
253
00:11:29,809 --> 00:11:32,164
He's, you know, he's having
a hard time, you know.
254
00:11:32,199 --> 00:11:34,981
And, uh, I went "Oh,
the worm is turned."
255
00:11:35,015 --> 00:11:36,275
He went,
256
00:11:36,310 --> 00:11:37,603
"What?"
257
00:11:37,638 --> 00:11:39,259
"The worm is turned,"
you know. You've...
258
00:11:39,293 --> 00:11:40,720
Stupid saying, isn't it?
259
00:11:40,748 --> 00:11:43,670
No, okay, tell him why you
think that's a stupid saying.
260
00:11:43,698 --> 00:11:46,153
Because how do you know
when a worm's turned?
261
00:11:46,982 --> 00:11:49,204
Right.
262
00:11:49,238 --> 00:11:52,882
Of all the creatures that you could flip
over and know it's turned, why pick a worm?
263
00:11:54,078 --> 00:11:55,966
It's a bad...
264
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:59,083
It's, it's the worst thing they could
have picked to express something turning.
265
00:11:59,117 --> 00:12:03,955
But you're turning literally.
It means changing, doesn't it?
266
00:12:03,989 --> 00:12:06,872
Changing your attitude. "A new
broom." "Turning over a new leaf."
267
00:12:06,906 --> 00:12:08,694
Yeah but then use
something that changes.
268
00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:10,583
Things are gonna be different now,
and I'm sick of it. Chameleon.
269
00:12:10,618 --> 00:12:12,212
No, but...
270
00:12:12,246 --> 00:12:13,634
Chameleon is a brilliant thing
to use for something to change.
271
00:12:13,668 --> 00:12:15,429
Oh. Chuck that in a sentence.
272
00:12:15,463 --> 00:12:19,140
There's nothing that you
can link a worm to human life to.
273
00:12:19,174 --> 00:12:24,045
You're talking about something that's...
It's blind, isn't it? It's blind, deaf...
274
00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:26,495
Gay.
275
00:12:26,530 --> 00:12:28,584
It's got no features.
276
00:12:28,619 --> 00:12:30,907
Why is he having
such a go at a worm?
277
00:12:30,941 --> 00:12:32,896
Just because it's, it's
a weird thing to use.
278
00:12:32,930 --> 00:12:37,073
Something that... Its ass is more,
it does more than its head.
279
00:12:39,163 --> 00:12:41,979
That could be said
of you, Karl, to be fair.
280
00:12:45,924 --> 00:12:50,135
Oh, chimpanzee that, he's gone
and written it down again...
281
00:12:53,816 --> 00:12:56,038
Just reading excerpts
of Karl's diary.
282
00:12:56,072 --> 00:12:58,194
"Went home and looked
up Freud on the Internet.
283
00:12:58,228 --> 00:12:59,522
"Didn't find him
that interesting.
284
00:12:59,556 --> 00:13:01,377
"So I looked at some other
philosophers instead.
285
00:13:01,412 --> 00:13:04,131
"Socrates, Aristotle.
286
00:13:04,166 --> 00:13:06,819
"Lao Tzu from years ago came
up with some good stuff.
287
00:13:06,853 --> 00:13:09,868
"One, he knew, he who
knows, does not speak.
288
00:13:09,903 --> 00:13:12,057
"He who speaks,
does not know."
289
00:13:12,091 --> 00:13:14,447
Not entirely true.
290
00:13:14,481 --> 00:13:16,997
"To lead people,
walk behind them."
291
00:13:17,031 --> 00:13:18,685
Yep.
292
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:22,569
"And, of course, the journey of
1,000 miles begins with one step."
293
00:13:22,603 --> 00:13:24,457
Yeah, good that.
294
00:13:24,492 --> 00:13:28,795
"Maybe this is why people are at the start
line spectating at the Commonwealth Games."
295
00:13:28,830 --> 00:13:31,812
Well, I, no, it's just that
I, I've never understood why,
296
00:13:31,846 --> 00:13:34,469
in Olympics and
stuff like that...
297
00:13:34,503 --> 00:13:38,446
If you're gonna watch, don't
stand around on the start line.
298
00:13:38,481 --> 00:13:40,729
Go to the end where
you see the winner.
299
00:13:40,764 --> 00:13:42,934
But, because of that saying, it
actually makes sense, doesn't it?
300
00:13:44,608 --> 00:13:47,047
It's like, well, every step
starts with a step, or whatever.
301
00:13:47,081 --> 00:13:48,649
Say it again.
302
00:13:48,683 --> 00:13:51,885
Uh, every race, you know, you got
to start with a, with, with a step.
303
00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:52,986
Yeah.
304
00:13:53,021 --> 00:13:55,522
If you want to stay
at the start line, do.
305
00:13:55,556 --> 00:13:57,190
What does that mean?
306
00:13:57,225 --> 00:13:59,659
I'm just saying if, if
you're into, I'm not...
307
00:13:59,694 --> 00:14:01,394
I wouldn't watch a race, right.
308
00:14:01,429 --> 00:14:03,063
Okay. Right.
But all I'm saying is...
309
00:14:03,097 --> 00:14:05,264
If I was to watch a race...
Yeah.
310
00:14:05,299 --> 00:14:07,300
I wouldn't hang about
the start line because...
311
00:14:07,334 --> 00:14:08,801
I, I'm capable... Well,
you just said you would.
312
00:14:08,835 --> 00:14:10,703
What? Did I?
313
00:14:10,737 --> 00:14:13,272
Yeah, you said that's the place to start,
because every, every race starts with a step.
314
00:14:13,306 --> 00:14:15,174
No. But I wouldn't normally.
315
00:14:15,208 --> 00:14:17,076
- When I was on holiday...
- Yeah.
316
00:14:17,110 --> 00:14:19,111
- Suzanne said, there's a race going
on down the road. - Yeah.
317
00:14:19,145 --> 00:14:21,847
I'd go, well, let's go keep going down
the road and stand at the finish line.
318
00:14:21,881 --> 00:14:24,082
Okay, but now who are we talk...
But according to Lao Tzu...
319
00:14:24,117 --> 00:14:26,150
Yeah. I'd say,
well, hang on a minute.
320
00:14:26,185 --> 00:14:29,120
Every race starts
with a single step.
321
00:14:29,154 --> 00:14:31,322
Yeah. How many people
are around the start line?
322
00:14:31,356 --> 00:14:33,024
Is there more room there?
And she's goes, "Yeah."
323
00:14:33,058 --> 00:14:34,692
I'll go, let's go there
then. It's less busy.
324
00:14:34,726 --> 00:14:36,460
Right. And what
would you see there then?
325
00:14:36,495 --> 00:14:39,096
I'd see people starting the race, but I
wouldn't be that impressed with them,
326
00:14:39,130 --> 00:14:41,365
because I'd go, well, I don't know
if any of these are any good.
327
00:14:41,399 --> 00:14:43,400
So would you start at the
start or the end then?
328
00:14:43,434 --> 00:14:49,672
I'd...if it was down to me, I, I'd
just probably stay at the finish line.
329
00:14:49,706 --> 00:14:52,408
Okay. So you wouldn't
want to see the first step then?
330
00:14:52,442 --> 00:14:54,910
Not really. So what do you
think of Lao Tzu now then?
331
00:14:54,944 --> 00:14:57,812
Uh, I preferred the leading
people from behind.
332
00:14:57,846 --> 00:15:00,180
Okay. And what would you do
to lead someone now then.
333
00:15:00,215 --> 00:15:04,117
Um, well, if you're behind, you don't
have to take responsibility, do you?
334
00:15:04,152 --> 00:15:05,986
You can go, well, I didn't
send you here. You went there.
335
00:15:06,020 --> 00:15:08,154
That's not really
leading them, though, is it?
336
00:15:08,188 --> 00:15:12,157
Yeah, because I've made
them think. I've gone, uh...
337
00:15:12,192 --> 00:15:14,459
They go, oh, I've
just walked into a big hole.
338
00:15:14,494 --> 00:15:17,528
I'd go, oh, you should have been
looking where you're going.
339
00:15:17,563 --> 00:15:21,197
I haven't led them in that hole,
but they've learned a lesson.
340
00:15:21,231 --> 00:15:23,032
They won't go in a hole again.
341
00:15:24,901 --> 00:15:29,169
That was one of the greatest
conversations I've ever been a part of.
342
00:15:29,204 --> 00:15:33,373
I mean, that was incredible. Never
mind Aristotle and Socrates.
343
00:15:33,408 --> 00:15:37,544
That was incredible, that.
That was incredible, Karl.
344
00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:42,915
One of the key catch-phrases,
if you like, from the war,
345
00:15:42,950 --> 00:15:45,884
Karl, was of course, "Keep
the home fires burning."
346
00:15:47,153 --> 00:15:51,987
Is that like saying,
in a way, but...
347
00:15:52,022 --> 00:15:54,889
Don't worry when you come
home, the house is warm.
348
00:15:54,924 --> 00:15:56,391
Pretty much.
Sort of.
349
00:15:56,425 --> 00:15:59,059
Yeah. Never forget where you're from.
We're remembering you.
350
00:15:59,094 --> 00:16:01,094
We're here waiting for you.
Yeah.
351
00:16:01,162 --> 00:16:03,063
Again, it doesn't
say what it means.
352
00:16:03,097 --> 00:16:05,098
So there is you, you
know, risking your life.
353
00:16:05,132 --> 00:16:07,667
And you're getting the letter from 'em
saying, "We've got the heating on."
354
00:16:08,836 --> 00:16:10,302
Again, working hard,
paying the bills.
355
00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:14,073
They've got the heating blaring. Put
your coat on.
356
00:16:14,108 --> 00:16:17,042
Start panicking. "We're keeping
the home fires burning."
357
00:16:17,077 --> 00:16:19,444
What? I didn't know
what you mean. Fire.
358
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,579
When we have that in? I thought
we had central heating.
359
00:16:21,613 --> 00:16:25,516
Who's, who's she got in? Who is this bloke
who's moved in, changed the heating system?
360
00:16:27,252 --> 00:16:29,553
It's all, it's
all extra hassle.
361
00:16:29,587 --> 00:16:30,754
Do you know...yeah.
362
00:16:30,788 --> 00:16:32,555
Is...this is why it's best
not hearing from people.
363
00:16:32,590 --> 00:16:34,424
Go on. Brilliant. I've, I was
in the jungle, wasn't I?
364
00:16:34,458 --> 00:16:36,826
Yeah. Right?
For this program.
365
00:16:36,860 --> 00:16:40,363
Suzanne... Should explain
that Karl wasn't on maneuvers.
366
00:16:40,397 --> 00:16:42,832
We sent Karl around the
world for a program.
367
00:16:42,866 --> 00:16:45,000
Um, and, uh, yeah...
368
00:16:45,034 --> 00:16:47,369
But hold on. I want to hear about your...
He was in the jungle.
369
00:16:47,403 --> 00:16:49,904
And he, he didn't want to hear
anything from home, because...
370
00:16:49,938 --> 00:16:53,073
No. On a lot of the trips I
had a phone now and again.
371
00:16:53,107 --> 00:16:55,007
So I could call Suzanne.
372
00:16:55,042 --> 00:16:59,678
When I was in the jungle, I was out of
contact for like five days. Nothing.
373
00:16:59,712 --> 00:17:03,214
- Didn't know what was going on where, right?
- Right.
374
00:17:03,249 --> 00:17:06,651
I get out of the jungle. I call Suzanne up.
375
00:17:06,685 --> 00:17:08,286
Everything all right?
376
00:17:08,321 --> 00:17:10,689
Yeah. What bills have we got?
377
00:17:10,723 --> 00:17:14,192
Uh... And then I said,
how, you know, how was it?
378
00:17:14,226 --> 00:17:18,963
And she said, it was reassuring,
you know, it was all right.
379
00:17:18,998 --> 00:17:23,268
And it's reassuring that if
you died, it'd be all right.
380
00:17:23,302 --> 00:17:25,069
What? What do you mean?
That was from Suzanne.
381
00:17:25,104 --> 00:17:28,540
What was she saying? Because she sort of,
it was like I was dead for five days.
382
00:17:28,574 --> 00:17:30,275
And she said things
weren't that bad.
383
00:17:30,309 --> 00:17:33,110
I've still got stuff sorted out.
It's reassuring.
384
00:17:33,145 --> 00:17:35,913
She said what?
She said...
385
00:17:35,947 --> 00:17:38,115
You called her up after five
days of being in the jungle,
386
00:17:38,149 --> 00:17:40,017
eating grubs and
having things...
387
00:17:40,052 --> 00:17:42,720
Surviving. Yeah. Surviving.
Yeah. Right.
388
00:17:42,754 --> 00:17:44,522
There's me. The first phone
call I get I put the phone on.
389
00:17:44,556 --> 00:17:46,891
I'm going to call
Suzanne and let her know I'm all right.
390
00:17:46,925 --> 00:17:49,726
So you could get the phone calls
in the jungle, but you didn't want to.
391
00:17:49,761 --> 00:17:52,128
What do you mean, turn the phone on?
I thought you meant you were...
392
00:17:52,163 --> 00:17:53,830
No. It was off, because
there's no signal. All right.
393
00:17:53,864 --> 00:17:55,632
You mean you
got out of the jungle.
394
00:17:55,666 --> 00:17:57,533
You mean you got out of the jungle.
Right. I got out of the jungle.
395
00:17:57,568 --> 00:18:00,235
Popped the phone on. Thinking right, I'll
call Suzanne, let her know I'm all right.
396
00:18:00,270 --> 00:18:01,870
Yeah. Mmm. I've been
to hell and back here.
397
00:18:01,904 --> 00:18:03,404
Call her up.
Everything all right?
398
00:18:03,439 --> 00:18:06,040
Uh, you know, what's it
been like not, not to...
399
00:18:06,075 --> 00:18:08,209
I said, that's the longest
we've gone, isn't it?
400
00:18:08,243 --> 00:18:11,143
I don't think I've ever gone 24 hours
without talking to her for 17 years.
401
00:18:11,177 --> 00:18:13,939
Yeah. Yeah. Suddenly there's
a week when I'm not talking to her.
402
00:18:13,974 --> 00:18:15,808
She goes, yeah, it
started off weird,
403
00:18:15,842 --> 00:18:20,711
but it's reassuring, that if you
were dead, I can handle it.
404
00:18:21,946 --> 00:18:23,880
Cause she said, I sorted
everything out still.
405
00:18:23,915 --> 00:18:25,916
I could handle it
if you weren't here.
406
00:18:25,950 --> 00:18:28,518
Now, now what
offended you most?
407
00:18:28,552 --> 00:18:32,288
Um, the, the fact that you did...
Well, just like the...
408
00:18:32,322 --> 00:18:34,457
That, uh... You want her
to be dependent on you?
409
00:18:34,491 --> 00:18:40,195
Or the fact that you realize, you make
no difference at all in her life?
410
00:18:42,064 --> 00:18:43,932
Well, that's a bit annoying, isn't it?
They forget, don't they?
411
00:18:43,966 --> 00:18:47,068
The bills weren't as piling up
as, as much as they normally do.
412
00:18:47,103 --> 00:18:48,870
That's the only thing they
ever get through the door.
413
00:18:48,904 --> 00:18:51,306
You know, when there's a postal strike, carry on.
I'm not interested.
414
00:18:51,340 --> 00:18:53,040
You're only bringing
bills to the door anyway.
415
00:18:53,075 --> 00:18:55,576
Carry on striking. There
wasn't that much post.
416
00:18:55,610 --> 00:18:58,912
There wasn't that many bills to sort out.
There wasn't problems with the boiler.
417
00:18:58,946 --> 00:19:00,780
She's forgetting all this.
Right.
418
00:19:00,814 --> 00:19:02,782
So I'd like to go back
in the jungle... Yeah.
419
00:19:02,816 --> 00:19:05,184
Just as the boiler, the flame
started to flicker...
420
00:19:05,218 --> 00:19:06,452
Yeah.
And about to go out.
421
00:19:06,486 --> 00:19:08,683
Let's see her then.
422
00:19:08,718 --> 00:19:10,418
And that's why I'd say to any soldiers
listen to this, before you leave home.
423
00:19:10,453 --> 00:19:13,755
Yeah. Just leave everything.
Break a few things.
424
00:19:13,790 --> 00:19:17,559
- Uh, don't pay the bills, and then go.
- Yeah.
425
00:19:17,593 --> 00:19:19,461
And they'll miss you more. Yeah.
426
00:19:19,495 --> 00:19:21,763
They'll miss you more. Well, that's
great advice to people overseas...
427
00:19:21,797 --> 00:19:23,798
Let me just reiterate that...
428
00:19:23,832 --> 00:19:27,668
The next time, when you come home, have
a great time, with your wife and kids.
429
00:19:27,703 --> 00:19:29,403
See your see your mom and
dad, and all your family.
430
00:19:29,437 --> 00:19:32,639
But then, when you've just gotta
go back into active service,
431
00:19:32,673 --> 00:19:35,808
just, uh, smash the place
up and shit everywhere.
432
00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:37,676
Thanks.
433
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:44,382
Karl, what's your
thoughts on poetry?
434
00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:46,651
I've never really
been a, a fan of it.
435
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:48,654
There's a surprise.
436
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:51,790
It's sold in a bad light. It's a
bit sort of, a bit gay, isn't it?
437
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:53,692
Okay. I mean it depends what
sort you're talking about.
438
00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:55,927
Cause I, maybe there's poetry
out there that I haven't heard.
439
00:19:55,961 --> 00:19:57,996
There's some poetry
gayer than others.
440
00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:59,931
Yeah. War poetry can't
be gay, can't it?
441
00:19:59,965 --> 00:20:01,666
- That was people...
- I haven't heard... Go on.
442
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:04,901
People fighting in the trenches
and that can't be gay.
443
00:20:04,936 --> 00:20:08,304
They weren't gay. They were, they
were writing to their sweetheart.
444
00:20:08,339 --> 00:20:10,806
I don't know his name. Might, might
have been a bloke. I don't know.
445
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:14,309
But so is, was it, was it, uh, sort
of a, what sort of poem was it?
446
00:20:14,343 --> 00:20:15,977
Was it a sort of a
limerick? Sort of a...
447
00:20:16,011 --> 00:20:19,079
No, it was, it was, uh, well
there's, there's famous ones.
448
00:20:19,114 --> 00:20:21,615
Wilfred Owen and Siegfried
Sassoon and they're very moving.
449
00:20:21,649 --> 00:20:23,683
They're about, uh,
you know, the, the...
450
00:20:23,717 --> 00:20:27,954
What usually happens is that they talk about...
"Why are we here?"
451
00:20:27,988 --> 00:20:32,158
This is, you know, we've been,
we've been sold a, a lie here.
452
00:20:32,192 --> 00:20:33,859
You know, and they really...
453
00:20:33,893 --> 00:20:37,162
It's like seeing war
in a different light from...
454
00:20:37,196 --> 00:20:39,130
Their point of view
in the trenches.
455
00:20:39,164 --> 00:20:42,400
Famously some of 'em died
soon after the, you know...
456
00:20:42,434 --> 00:20:45,702
But I prefer, I prefer a proper letter.
They'd written the poem.
457
00:20:45,737 --> 00:20:47,804
No sort of crypticness. That's
the problems with poems.
458
00:20:47,839 --> 00:20:49,807
Right. Okay.
So you...
459
00:20:49,841 --> 00:20:53,077
You'd be disappointed to get Dulce Et
Decorum Est through the post, would you?
460
00:20:53,111 --> 00:20:55,246
You'd have just said, what
you trying to say, mate?
461
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:58,816
It, what's the weather like? When you coming home?
Did you get me socks?
462
00:20:58,851 --> 00:21:03,187
Well, yeah, sometimes life is a bit like that.
And it's like say what you mean.
463
00:21:03,221 --> 00:21:06,223
Right. Well that's,
well then, there...
464
00:21:06,257 --> 00:21:11,561
You have just wiped all art
off the face of the earth.
465
00:21:11,595 --> 00:21:13,696
If you literally just
say what you mean.
466
00:21:13,764 --> 00:21:15,431
No I'm just saying in a letter.
467
00:21:15,465 --> 00:21:19,401
Say if I, say if I was a woman, and
me fella was fighting in a war.
468
00:21:19,435 --> 00:21:21,436
Right. What's your
fella's name? Harry.
469
00:21:21,470 --> 00:21:24,870
Okay. So Harry, let me get this right.
So when were you married?
470
00:21:24,904 --> 00:21:29,305
Uh, about 19, uh, 1935.
471
00:21:29,340 --> 00:21:31,874
1935. So, uh, you've
been married about four years.
472
00:21:31,908 --> 00:21:33,509
Yeah.
473
00:21:33,543 --> 00:21:35,110
Harry, what, why don't you go off?
Oh, you're a woman, aren't you?
474
00:21:35,144 --> 00:21:36,578
You don't go fight. Okay. So
what did you see in Harry?
475
00:21:36,612 --> 00:21:38,946
What, what, why, why
did you like Harry? Was he...
476
00:21:38,981 --> 00:21:41,949
- He just was like funny, uh...
- Butch.
477
00:21:41,983 --> 00:21:44,951
He wasn't that butch but that didn't
matter back then, did it, in the war?
478
00:21:44,985 --> 00:21:46,486
No. No, and you...
They took everyone.
479
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:49,121
But what did you say when
Harry was, had said to you...
480
00:21:49,155 --> 00:21:51,356
Well I, I thought
it was coming.
481
00:21:51,391 --> 00:21:54,092
Because a lot of, uh, a lot
of our friends ended up...
482
00:21:54,126 --> 00:21:56,092
Right. Did you hug him
and say don't go or something?
483
00:21:56,127 --> 00:21:59,694
No point, cause that would have
just made it tough for him. So...
484
00:22:01,029 --> 00:22:02,797
What's the point?
Just go with it.
485
00:22:02,831 --> 00:22:04,598
But if he...
I cried after he went.
486
00:22:04,633 --> 00:22:06,500
You cried
after he went.
487
00:22:06,534 --> 00:22:08,169
That's what you do, isn't it? You
wouldn't do it in front of him.
488
00:22:08,203 --> 00:22:09,638
He's got, he's
gotta go to battle.
489
00:22:09,672 --> 00:22:11,474
Okay, so your man
goes off to battle.
490
00:22:11,508 --> 00:22:15,916
-Right. Then I get a, a letter
from the Colonel. - Right.
491
00:22:15,951 --> 00:22:19,286
Saying a bit of bad
news. Harry's dead.
492
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:21,187
Now I get a letter
in the post...
493
00:22:21,222 --> 00:22:22,989
He said, he said what he
meant, didn't he, in the...
494
00:22:23,023 --> 00:22:24,957
- Well, yeah. And they would do,
wouldn't they? - Yeah.
495
00:22:24,991 --> 00:22:27,559
They wouldn't funny around saying,
"Oh, he was, he was on the...
496
00:22:27,593 --> 00:22:30,595
"War path and the cloud,
the cloud went dark."
497
00:22:30,629 --> 00:22:34,364
I go, what... Just tell me what happened.
I don't want a weather forecast.
498
00:22:34,399 --> 00:22:36,199
He got shot in the ass and
the bullet came out his head.
499
00:22:36,233 --> 00:22:40,536
Right. Now, the Colonel, he, he
would just tell me the basics.
500
00:22:40,571 --> 00:22:43,472
Now, because he
sent his by, um...
501
00:22:43,506 --> 00:22:45,673
- Telegram, telegram?
- Telegram.
502
00:22:45,708 --> 00:22:47,174
- They sent a telegram.
- Hmm.
503
00:22:47,209 --> 00:22:51,044
The letter I get from Harry has
been stamped, so I get it late.
504
00:22:51,079 --> 00:22:56,416
Oh, okay. So I get a letter
from, uh, from Harry after he's died.
505
00:22:56,450 --> 00:22:57,984
Right and
you know he's dead.
506
00:22:58,018 --> 00:22:59,552
I know he's dead, so I get this
letter with his handwriting on it.
507
00:22:59,586 --> 00:23:01,387
And I'm devastated, cause I was
just getting over his death.
508
00:23:01,421 --> 00:23:03,022
Yeah.
509
00:23:03,056 --> 00:23:04,790
It's all brought back to me when
this letter drops through the post.
510
00:23:04,825 --> 00:23:06,793
Well yeah, three days
and you're pretty much over it.
511
00:23:06,828 --> 00:23:08,797
- It'll have his handwriting. Oh,
God, what's this? - Yeah.
512
00:23:08,832 --> 00:23:10,065
- I open it.
- Yeah.
513
00:23:10,100 --> 00:23:12,167
And instead of saying,
"Things are bad here.
514
00:23:12,202 --> 00:23:16,672
"Socks are damp, uh, you
know, everything's grim."
515
00:23:16,706 --> 00:23:18,773
"It's
cold, I'm sick of it."
516
00:23:18,808 --> 00:23:22,943
There's a poem. It wouldn't
feel like it was from Harry.
517
00:23:22,978 --> 00:23:25,446
But now... Well...
They're not in his words.
518
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:27,381
Poems are never in the,
in the person's words.
519
00:23:27,415 --> 00:23:30,950
But didn't you know Harry was a poet when you
married him, and made love to him at night?
520
00:23:30,985 --> 00:23:33,086
No, he only picked it up,
because other people were doing it.
521
00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:34,687
Something to do
in the trenches.
522
00:23:34,721 --> 00:23:36,555
But when he carried you over
the threshold, Karl, and he...
523
00:23:36,589 --> 00:23:39,291
He laid you down and gently kissed
you, didn't he, didn't he say any...
524
00:23:39,325 --> 00:23:40,625
Didn't he ever...
525
00:23:40,659 --> 00:23:42,293
He must have
whispered some sweet nothings
526
00:23:42,327 --> 00:23:43,994
into your spherical,
round head.
527
00:23:44,029 --> 00:23:44,820
- No, it wasn't like that. It
wasn't like that. - No?
528
00:23:44,940 --> 00:23:47,097
Straight to the point. It was
like, "Get your knickers off."
529
00:23:59,708 --> 00:24:04,678
That's one of the weirdest fucking
scenarios I've ever heard.
530
00:24:04,712 --> 00:24:08,315
What the fuck was the telegram
coming before the letter?
531
00:24:08,349 --> 00:24:12,953
So specific. It wasn't like Harry...
Who the fuck's Harry?
532
00:24:16,991 --> 00:24:18,624
Oh, God.
533
00:24:19,993 --> 00:24:30,369
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
534
00:24:30,419 --> 00:24:34,969
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
48026
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.