Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,426 --> 00:00:04,260
Tessa: The town of Chatswin hadan undertow,
2
00:00:04,294 --> 00:00:08,090
and it was always lookingfor ways to suck you back in.
3
00:00:08,122 --> 00:00:09,729
Bellini-beluga block party?
4
00:00:09,765 --> 00:00:11,354
Trash.
5
00:00:11,389 --> 00:00:14,688
Extension convention...
10% off human clip-ons.
6
00:00:14,725 --> 00:00:16,706
What is a human clip-on?
7
00:00:16,742 --> 00:00:17,956
Doesn't matter. We're not interested.
8
00:00:17,990 --> 00:00:18,981
Should we sponsor
9
00:00:19,016 --> 00:00:21,171
Chatswin elementary's twerkathon?
10
00:00:21,189 --> 00:00:23,103
They're twerking to end gun violence.
11
00:00:23,171 --> 00:00:25,480
Um, I... I feel like that's not gonna work.
12
00:00:25,498 --> 00:00:28,986
Hey, we're invited to tour
Chatswin's historic homes.
13
00:00:29,020 --> 00:00:31,721
Hmm, do I want to see some rich lady
14
00:00:31,756 --> 00:00:34,441
show off her walk-in bra closet?
15
00:00:37,690 --> 00:00:41,093
You know what? Kind of,
but gonna have to decline.
16
00:00:41,127 --> 00:00:42,906
George and I were doing an excellent job
17
00:00:42,957 --> 00:00:44,050
of keeping to ourselves,
18
00:00:44,069 --> 00:00:45,419
but it was easy to turn down invitations
19
00:00:45,437 --> 00:00:46,805
that came in the mail.
20
00:00:46,857 --> 00:00:49,112
The ones that were deliveredface-to-face
21
00:00:49,147 --> 00:00:50,788
were a little more challenging.
22
00:00:50,824 --> 00:00:52,637
Well, do I look any different?
23
00:00:52,672 --> 00:00:54,825
Turning 17 tomorrow, y'all... 1-7!
24
00:00:54,860 --> 00:00:57,201
It's, like, the last prime
number before you can vote.
25
00:00:57,237 --> 00:00:58,450
It's kind of a big deal.
26
00:00:58,485 --> 00:01:00,947
You did it, man. Y... you made it.
[ Chuckles ]
27
00:01:00,982 --> 00:01:05,135
And in celebration,
I intend to make it nasty!
28
00:01:05,172 --> 00:01:07,240
[ Singsong voice ]
I am dropping it on hos.
29
00:01:07,258 --> 00:01:10,164
I am dropping it on the ho...
30
00:01:10,199 --> 00:01:11,635
What does that mean?
31
00:01:11,670 --> 00:01:13,567
It means I'm having a small dinner party
32
00:01:13,601 --> 00:01:15,825
at shabu-shabbos,
the kosher Japanese restaurant.
33
00:01:15,843 --> 00:01:18,406
Parentals said
I can invite three friends,
34
00:01:18,458 --> 00:01:20,133
so without any further ado...
35
00:01:20,168 --> 00:01:22,495
Oh, thanks. I can't wait.
36
00:01:25,367 --> 00:01:28,307
[ Inhales sharply ]
37
00:01:28,342 --> 00:01:30,189
They throw vegetables
in the air and catch them
38
00:01:30,223 --> 00:01:31,437
in their chef's hat.
39
00:01:31,490 --> 00:01:32,548
It's a meal and a show.
40
00:01:32,567 --> 00:01:35,217
I hope you guys have fun.
41
00:01:35,252 --> 00:01:38,602
Oh, come on, Tessa,
a guy only turns 17 once...
42
00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:41,407
that is, until they make
time travel a reality.
43
00:01:41,443 --> 00:01:42,432
Oh.
44
00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:43,818
[ Both laugh nervously ]
45
00:01:48,591 --> 00:01:51,257
C... come on, now. My arm's getting tired.
46
00:01:54,233 --> 00:01:55,713
All right, you know, I... I'm just gonna
47
00:01:55,738 --> 00:01:56,678
set the invitation down here,
48
00:01:56,714 --> 00:01:59,123
and, uh, y... you can just mull it over.
49
00:01:59,141 --> 00:02:00,936
You know, just give it a good mull.
50
00:02:00,971 --> 00:02:02,783
Yes, I will do that.
51
00:02:02,801 --> 00:02:07,348
Great, and if you could let me
know ASAP, that would dope!
52
00:02:07,385 --> 00:02:09,024
Because I can only invite three people.
53
00:02:09,060 --> 00:02:10,479
Got it!
54
00:02:10,496 --> 00:02:12,342
So, if you're not coming,
I'd like to invite someone else.
55
00:02:12,376 --> 00:02:14,822
In that case, I... I think you should
56
00:02:14,857 --> 00:02:17,012
probably invite someone else.
57
00:02:17,030 --> 00:02:19,712
Okay, you called my bluff.
There's no one else.
58
00:02:19,747 --> 00:02:20,892
Ooh, but the thing is,
59
00:02:20,928 --> 00:02:22,448
there's also an important calculus test
60
00:02:22,468 --> 00:02:23,903
that I need to study for.
61
00:02:23,936 --> 00:02:26,912
Okay, well, just, you know,
think about it and let me know.
62
00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:30,519
I did, and I did, and I'm not coming.
63
00:02:30,555 --> 00:02:32,796
I'll circle back!
64
00:02:35,258 --> 00:02:36,266
Malik: Just...
65
00:02:36,284 --> 00:02:37,619
Yeah, that's good. That's good.
66
00:02:37,652 --> 00:02:39,088
We'll... we'll...
67
00:02:39,123 --> 00:02:40,597
[ Sighs ]
68
00:02:40,621 --> 00:02:41,629
That was painful.
69
00:02:41,648 --> 00:02:42,930
W... why you got to be such a hater?
70
00:02:42,948 --> 00:02:45,169
Hey, you can call me a lot of things,
71
00:02:45,205 --> 00:02:47,825
but it is a well-known fact
that I am not a hater.
72
00:02:47,849 --> 00:02:50,549
Sure, the last name Smith
gets her in the door,
73
00:02:50,585 --> 00:02:53,662
but that young lady whips
her own hair back and forth.
74
00:02:53,696 --> 00:02:55,559
No one does that for her.
75
00:02:55,578 --> 00:02:57,424
Just because I don't want
to go to Evan's party
76
00:02:57,459 --> 00:02:59,271
doesn't make me a hater.
77
00:02:59,322 --> 00:03:01,683
Parties are optional, right?
78
00:03:01,716 --> 00:03:04,553
Damn it. I think she got us on that one.
79
00:03:04,590 --> 00:03:06,641
Yeah. Parties are optional.
80
00:03:06,677 --> 00:03:09,677
Sync and corrections by atrn97g
for www.addic7ed.com
81
00:03:09,706 --> 00:03:12,526
Alih Jey:
Last night I had
a pleasant nightmare
82
00:03:12,542 --> 00:03:17,042
Suburgatory 3x06 - About a Boy-Yoi-Yoing
Original air date March 5, 2014
83
00:03:17,074 --> 00:03:18,868
Da, da, da, da
84
00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:19,980
Dalia: Okay.
85
00:03:20,015 --> 00:03:21,006
[ Sighs ]
86
00:03:21,041 --> 00:03:22,031
Here you go.
87
00:03:22,067 --> 00:03:25,588
You're a peach.
88
00:03:25,624 --> 00:03:28,087
[ Gulping ]
89
00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:34,685
[ Sighs ]
90
00:03:35,032 --> 00:03:37,246
Okay, I didn't really need
to borrow a cup of milk.
91
00:03:37,282 --> 00:03:38,957
Although, that was refreshing.
92
00:03:38,992 --> 00:03:41,043
I needed a cup of you.
93
00:03:41,079 --> 00:03:43,865
'Cause I never see you anymore,
not since you quit us.
94
00:03:43,897 --> 00:03:45,297
I didn't quit you.
95
00:03:45,348 --> 00:03:46,913
I just... I quit the country club.
96
00:03:46,945 --> 00:03:48,089
Was it because of when our leg hairs
97
00:03:48,123 --> 00:03:49,320
brushed against each other
in the steam room?
98
00:03:49,355 --> 00:03:51,029
Because I assure you that was accidental
99
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:53,340
and completely forgotten.
100
00:03:53,390 --> 00:03:55,134
It's not like your wind song
stays on my mind.
101
00:03:55,169 --> 00:03:56,194
[ Chuckles ]
102
00:03:56,212 --> 00:03:57,699
Look, Fred, it's nothing personal.
103
00:03:57,734 --> 00:04:01,001
I just decided I'm not
a country-club kind of guy.
104
00:04:01,031 --> 00:04:01,954
[ Sighs ]
105
00:04:01,994 --> 00:04:03,309
So you hate me.
106
00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:05,394
Not at all. I just...
107
00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:08,097
didn't like who I was
turning into at that club.
108
00:04:08,132 --> 00:04:09,788
Because you were turning into me?
109
00:04:09,808 --> 00:04:11,842
Hey, what if you and I found
a new place to hang out?
110
00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:13,774
Somewhere without a dress code
111
00:04:13,861 --> 00:04:16,305
where we can both relax
and be ourselves.
112
00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:20,561
I have the perfect place... right here!
113
00:04:20,580 --> 00:04:21,692
Chez Shay, Jorg?!
114
00:04:21,727 --> 00:04:23,436
Hey, after I get my loads folded,
115
00:04:23,470 --> 00:04:25,743
we can fire up
some classic episodes of "Ellen"
116
00:04:25,796 --> 00:04:27,378
and dance to an imaginary audience.
117
00:04:27,410 --> 00:04:30,403
Right, well, I was... I was
thinking maybe somewhere...
118
00:04:30,438 --> 00:04:33,703
outside of your home
where we can get a drink and...
119
00:04:33,738 --> 00:04:35,497
also maybe not smell whatever it is
120
00:04:35,550 --> 00:04:37,688
that's coming
out of your kitchen right now.
121
00:04:37,722 --> 00:04:40,937
Come on, Fred, there's got to be
a good bar around.
122
00:04:40,971 --> 00:04:43,142
You know, as a matter of fact,
a new bar just opened.
123
00:04:43,162 --> 00:04:44,819
That's what I'm talking about!
124
00:04:44,854 --> 00:04:47,092
Some dive where a couple of guys
can go out
125
00:04:47,179 --> 00:04:48,631
and get a nice stiff drink.
126
00:04:48,668 --> 00:04:50,292
Yeah, I even got a coupon!
127
00:04:50,326 --> 00:04:52,051
Nothing says dive bar
like a good coupon.
128
00:04:52,089 --> 00:04:53,077
Am I right?
129
00:04:57,837 --> 00:04:59,373
Wait.
130
00:04:59,410 --> 00:05:00,998
What is this... a juice bar?
131
00:05:01,035 --> 00:05:02,710
It's got everything we need...
132
00:05:02,743 --> 00:05:04,283
ample, natural light;
133
00:05:04,317 --> 00:05:06,883
clean, sturdy stools.
134
00:05:06,900 --> 00:05:08,900
We can bro down till the cows come home,
135
00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:10,098
by which I mean Sheila.
136
00:05:10,131 --> 00:05:11,517
By which I mean
137
00:05:11,551 --> 00:05:14,150
she has big and tender, brown eyes.
138
00:05:14,174 --> 00:05:16,020
Just please don't tell Sheila
I called her a cow.
139
00:05:16,056 --> 00:05:18,722
Fred, when I said "drink,"
I wasn't talking about juice.
140
00:05:18,758 --> 00:05:22,329
But this is pressed juice,
loaded with fibrous nutrients.
141
00:05:22,368 --> 00:05:24,215
It's more than a beverage...
142
00:05:24,251 --> 00:05:25,665
it's a movement.
143
00:05:25,697 --> 00:05:27,763
Right now there's only one
a pressed nation,
144
00:05:27,799 --> 00:05:30,193
but their dream is to have
a pressed nations
145
00:05:30,228 --> 00:05:32,124
all over the world.
146
00:05:32,161 --> 00:05:34,159
Well, we can all dream.
[ Sighs ]
147
00:05:34,178 --> 00:05:36,144
Uh, two fermented fujis, please.
148
00:05:36,178 --> 00:05:37,153
All right.
149
00:05:37,185 --> 00:05:39,049
They contain a trace amount of alcohol,
150
00:05:39,084 --> 00:05:40,963
but I'm wearing my medic-alert bracelet,
151
00:05:40,983 --> 00:05:42,741
so let's party.
[ Chuckles ]
152
00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:43,768
Are you a member of our juice club?
153
00:05:43,786 --> 00:05:45,787
Uh, no, no, I am not a regular.
154
00:05:45,806 --> 00:05:47,086
You might be after you try this.
155
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:51,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
156
00:05:53,619 --> 00:05:54,611
Mm?
157
00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:55,790
What if I told you that contained
158
00:05:55,826 --> 00:05:57,757
nothing but kabocha squash
and almond milk?
159
00:05:57,775 --> 00:05:59,143
I'd tell you to shut your mouth.
160
00:05:59,195 --> 00:06:00,425
There's no ice cream in that?
161
00:06:00,459 --> 00:06:01,964
No.
162
00:06:01,982 --> 00:06:03,862
I... I will take a large.
163
00:06:03,932 --> 00:06:05,094
Sorry, non-members can only sample
164
00:06:05,128 --> 00:06:06,103
the specialty flavors.
165
00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:07,302
I'm a member.
166
00:06:07,335 --> 00:06:08,274
C... can I sip on his?
167
00:06:08,310 --> 00:06:09,608
No, I won't let you.
168
00:06:09,643 --> 00:06:10,753
Ah...
169
00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:11,951
If...
170
00:06:11,969 --> 00:06:13,045
you sign up for the juice club,
171
00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:14,601
you get to order off the insider's menu,
172
00:06:14,637 --> 00:06:15,834
and you get deep discounts.
173
00:06:15,867 --> 00:06:17,013
You know what?
174
00:06:17,049 --> 00:06:18,894
This might be
the kabocha squash talking.
175
00:06:21,203 --> 00:06:23,016
But I'm in.
176
00:06:24,964 --> 00:06:26,862
[ Toilet flushes ]
177
00:06:26,881 --> 00:06:28,401
Oh, hey, Tessa.
178
00:06:28,437 --> 00:06:29,581
Great news.
179
00:06:29,635 --> 00:06:32,677
I got to our math teacher, Mrs. Nelson.
180
00:06:32,712 --> 00:06:34,147
What d... what do you mean
you got to her?
181
00:06:34,182 --> 00:06:35,856
Well, I told her that some students,
182
00:06:35,874 --> 00:06:37,670
including yours truly, were suffering
183
00:06:37,688 --> 00:06:39,363
from "pre-traumatic test disorder,"
184
00:06:39,398 --> 00:06:41,125
and she agreed to postpone the exam.
185
00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,346
Oh. That's great.
186
00:06:43,383 --> 00:06:44,819
So, what?
187
00:06:44,853 --> 00:06:47,265
So the excuse you gave
is no longer valid.
188
00:06:47,317 --> 00:06:49,744
Crisis averted?
189
00:06:49,778 --> 00:06:51,214
Set Tessa to party mode?
190
00:06:51,249 --> 00:06:53,796
Commence cookies and cream?
191
00:06:53,832 --> 00:06:55,609
Okay, well...
192
00:06:55,644 --> 00:06:57,968
The truth is
the test wasn't the only reason
193
00:06:58,004 --> 00:06:59,610
I couldn't go to your party.
194
00:06:59,646 --> 00:07:01,509
See, I made this pact with my dad.
195
00:07:01,543 --> 00:07:02,911
I'm not trying
to take your virginity, Tessa.
196
00:07:02,928 --> 00:07:05,544
Not that kind of pact.
197
00:07:05,579 --> 00:07:06,621
So I can take your virginity?
198
00:07:06,657 --> 00:07:09,751
That is not what this is about, right?
199
00:07:09,785 --> 00:07:11,785
You're not trying to ask me
on a double date,
200
00:07:11,822 --> 00:07:14,130
because I know how
indiscriminately horny you are.
201
00:07:14,148 --> 00:07:15,976
Filthy as charged.
202
00:07:15,995 --> 00:07:19,157
And I just want to make sure
that is not what this is about.
203
00:07:19,175 --> 00:07:21,261
No, of course not,
unless you want it to be,
204
00:07:21,313 --> 00:07:22,935
in which case, yes, it absolutely is.
205
00:07:22,972 --> 00:07:24,817
I don't want it to be.
206
00:07:24,851 --> 00:07:26,099
Then, yeah, no probs.
207
00:07:26,135 --> 00:07:28,220
See you at 5:15. And, uh, no gifts.
208
00:07:28,255 --> 00:07:31,230
Just write down 17 reasons
why you're glad I was born.
209
00:07:31,266 --> 00:07:32,547
Uh, I...
210
00:07:32,598 --> 00:07:34,343
Oh, and I'm not saying
it ha to be in pirate speak,
211
00:07:34,377 --> 00:07:36,600
but the theme is pirates.
212
00:07:48,897 --> 00:07:49,956
[ Bells chime ]
213
00:07:50,009 --> 00:07:52,231
Welcome to Crystal Cup of Crystals.
214
00:07:52,265 --> 00:07:55,428
How can I provide you
with dazzling service today?
215
00:07:55,481 --> 00:07:57,172
Oh, I'm, uh,
just looking around. Thanks.
216
00:07:57,207 --> 00:07:58,882
For anything in particular?
217
00:07:58,918 --> 00:08:01,465
We just got in
a stunning shipment of figurines
218
00:08:01,499 --> 00:08:03,072
based on the "Modern Family" gang.
219
00:08:03,107 --> 00:08:05,141
Crystal Cam's my fave
220
00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:07,091
'cause there's nothing he won't say.
221
00:08:07,125 --> 00:08:08,511
Actually, I was just wondering
if you had a bathroom.
222
00:08:08,544 --> 00:08:10,489
Let me guess... you just came
223
00:08:10,513 --> 00:08:12,429
from the new juice place
down the street.
224
00:08:12,465 --> 00:08:13,420
Yeah.
225
00:08:13,474 --> 00:08:15,574
- So, the bathroom?
- Tell me something.
226
00:08:15,612 --> 00:08:18,175
What are they putting
in those juices over there?
227
00:08:18,211 --> 00:08:19,132
Look, I don't know, but all I know
228
00:08:19,168 --> 00:08:21,320
is it doesn't stay very long.
229
00:08:21,373 --> 00:08:22,486
I'm begging you.
230
00:08:22,519 --> 00:08:25,768
Bathroom's in the back.
231
00:08:25,820 --> 00:08:29,344
And wipe down the crystal sink
when you're done!
232
00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:31,325
It spots easy!
233
00:08:33,924 --> 00:08:36,165
Yo, ho, ho.
234
00:08:36,218 --> 00:08:37,413
Ahoy, me hearty!
235
00:08:37,448 --> 00:08:38,783
Shiver me timbers!
236
00:08:38,816 --> 00:08:41,363
Happy Birthday, Evan.
237
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:43,486
You wenches clean up nicely.
238
00:08:43,519 --> 00:08:46,563
Lucky is the pirate
that finds booty tonight!
239
00:08:46,598 --> 00:08:47,878
Hi.
240
00:08:47,897 --> 00:08:49,588
Can I start you guys off
with an Adam Sandier roll?
241
00:08:49,626 --> 00:08:50,753
Is it any good?
242
00:08:50,786 --> 00:08:53,163
It's super popular, but no.
243
00:08:53,198 --> 00:08:55,044
Hey, it's my 17th birthday.
Can I get a hug?
244
00:08:56,653 --> 00:08:57,832
Sure, cutie.
245
00:08:59,083 --> 00:09:01,131
Oh, my God. You smell so good.
246
00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:02,773
I... I think you're smelling
sukiyaki sauce.
247
00:09:04,775 --> 00:09:07,544
Boy-yoi-yoing!
248
00:09:07,564 --> 00:09:09,838
Okay, let's toast the man
of the hour, yours truly, me!
249
00:09:12,852 --> 00:09:14,646
Evan Fievel Abramowitz.
250
00:09:14,665 --> 00:09:18,513
"E" is for everything I like
about him, which is many.
251
00:09:18,547 --> 00:09:22,051
"V" is for very much, which is plenty.
252
00:09:22,087 --> 00:09:25,130
"A" is for his asthma,
which never slows him down.
253
00:09:25,166 --> 00:09:27,541
"N" is... is not really,
254
00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:29,578
'cause i... it really slows him down.
255
00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:30,586
Let's just...
256
00:09:30,620 --> 00:09:32,021
Hey, I love you, bro.
257
00:09:37,597 --> 00:09:38,862
[ Bells chime ]
258
00:09:38,897 --> 00:09:39,837
Welcome to Crystal Cup of Crystals.
259
00:09:39,889 --> 00:09:41,341
How can I provide you with daz...
260
00:09:41,376 --> 00:09:42,642
You got a bathroom?!
261
00:09:42,693 --> 00:09:45,959
Well, of course we do. However...
262
00:09:45,994 --> 00:09:48,097
So, if you'd like to empty your bladder,
263
00:09:48,114 --> 00:09:50,560
you will also need to empty your wallet!
264
00:09:52,543 --> 00:09:53,585
Fine.
265
00:09:53,622 --> 00:09:56,015
I'll take one of these.
266
00:09:56,049 --> 00:09:57,006
A single crystal tear?!
267
00:09:57,041 --> 00:09:58,136
That's how you're gonna do me?!
268
00:09:58,169 --> 00:10:01,075
I am a strong,
independent businesswoman,
269
00:10:01,112 --> 00:10:02,411
not a bathroom attendant!
270
00:10:05,198 --> 00:10:08,805
I didn't name this establishment
Crystal Crap of Crappers!
271
00:10:08,841 --> 00:10:12,310
I swear, there is not enough
autumn pear in the world.
272
00:10:12,347 --> 00:10:14,277
I am putting that juice place on notice.
273
00:10:14,313 --> 00:10:16,330
On notice!
274
00:10:19,998 --> 00:10:23,298
And number 17 on my Evan-loving list
275
00:10:23,332 --> 00:10:27,743
is the way his teeth gleam
like precious amethyst.
276
00:10:30,104 --> 00:10:31,215
I don't know, Tessa.
277
00:10:31,268 --> 00:10:32,259
Those were some
pretty tough acts to follow.
278
00:10:32,292 --> 00:10:33,215
Oh.
279
00:10:33,251 --> 00:10:36,534
My gift is less of a epic poem
280
00:10:36,568 --> 00:10:37,970
and more of a...
281
00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:39,577
online gift card!
282
00:10:39,613 --> 00:10:42,589
Wow, okay, that's hurtfully impersonal.
283
00:10:42,622 --> 00:10:44,484
Yes, but on the bright side,
284
00:10:44,521 --> 00:10:47,017
you can buy anything you want
online these days.
285
00:10:47,068 --> 00:10:49,754
Yeah, except friends.
286
00:10:49,787 --> 00:10:50,745
[ Sighs ]
287
00:10:50,779 --> 00:10:52,420
You know, I... I think I feel
288
00:10:52,472 --> 00:10:53,793
my bronchial passages tightening.
289
00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:55,156
I... I'm gonna get some fresh air.
290
00:10:55,209 --> 00:10:56,199
Really?
291
00:10:56,233 --> 00:10:57,446
You couldn't just freestyle something?
292
00:10:57,482 --> 00:10:58,679
Off the dome?
293
00:10:58,714 --> 00:11:00,115
Guys, no.
294
00:11:00,150 --> 00:11:01,963
Because... no.
295
00:11:02,742 --> 00:11:05,270
Even if I could drop something
off the dome,
296
00:11:05,305 --> 00:11:08,264
trust me, you guys wouldn't like
what I had to say.
297
00:11:08,298 --> 00:11:10,553
I didn't even want to come here
in the first place.
298
00:11:10,590 --> 00:11:12,298
So, what? So you think
you're just too cool for Evan
299
00:11:12,334 --> 00:11:13,496
'cause he's a nerd?
300
00:11:13,530 --> 00:11:16,078
Have we not progressed
beyond nerd bigotry
301
00:11:16,114 --> 00:11:17,823
as a society on the whole?
302
00:11:17,858 --> 00:11:19,018
Or did you not vote for Pedro?
303
00:11:19,021 --> 00:11:20,148
It is not that.
304
00:11:20,181 --> 00:11:21,311
McLovin, screech powers.
305
00:11:21,346 --> 00:11:22,680
Poindexter on the violin.
306
00:11:22,715 --> 00:11:24,441
I ask, was all their work in vain?
307
00:11:24,474 --> 00:11:26,270
Did Steve Urkel do that for nothing?
308
00:11:26,304 --> 00:11:28,202
I swear, when I you get emphatic,
309
00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:29,948
it is unspeakably arousing.
310
00:11:29,982 --> 00:11:31,708
You want to take care of that situation?
311
00:11:31,744 --> 00:11:35,042
Look, you guys, I don't hate
Evan because he's a nerd,
312
00:11:35,079 --> 00:11:37,573
but I don't give him a free pass
because of it, either.
313
00:11:37,608 --> 00:11:41,352
Sorry, I just... I... I don't
subscribe to that whole...
314
00:11:41,388 --> 00:11:42,876
protected-class thing.
315
00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:46,535
It's like, who is the biggest
two-faced klepto we know? Who?
316
00:11:46,586 --> 00:11:47,919
- I...
- I don't know.
317
00:11:47,955 --> 00:11:48,915
You don't want to say it.
318
00:11:48,947 --> 00:11:50,092
I know, 'cause it's Katie...
319
00:11:50,125 --> 00:11:53,786
Katie, who, uh, happens to be
in a wheelchair.
320
00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:57,684
- Oh, my gosh. I love your purse!
- Thanks.
321
00:11:59,105 --> 00:12:02,950
Hey, guys, look at this
ugly purse I just found.
322
00:12:06,868 --> 00:12:09,039
Katie has been through a lot.
323
00:12:09,091 --> 00:12:10,356
Agreed.
324
00:12:10,391 --> 00:12:12,988
But does that mean she gets
to do whatever she wants?
325
00:12:13,383 --> 00:12:16,873
Does that mean because Evan has
adorkable little glasses
326
00:12:16,906 --> 00:12:18,992
and an ever-present cannister
of albuterol
327
00:12:19,010 --> 00:12:23,745
that he gets to postpone tests
and grope the waitstaff?
328
00:12:23,764 --> 00:12:24,961
Look, if you don't have
anything nice to say...
329
00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:26,225
don't say it all.
330
00:12:26,262 --> 00:12:28,859
Correct, which is why I declined
bellinis and belugas.
331
00:12:28,894 --> 00:12:30,346
I declined twerkathons,
332
00:12:30,363 --> 00:12:33,151
and I tried to decline
attending the birthday
333
00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:36,674
of a self-indulgent, horny manipulator.
334
00:12:36,707 --> 00:12:39,770
Both:
Happy Birthday to ye
335
00:12:39,821 --> 00:12:43,652
Happy Birthday to...
336
00:12:43,686 --> 00:12:45,940
Well, I can tell you who's not getting
337
00:12:45,978 --> 00:12:47,737
the marzipan parrot.
338
00:12:54,175 --> 00:12:57,253
Oh, hello. Do you like delicious things?
339
00:12:59,254 --> 00:13:00,934
What's wrong with you?
You're acting weird.
340
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:01,869
Are you drunk?
341
00:13:02,349 --> 00:13:05,015
Yeah, I'm drunk... on nutrition!
342
00:13:05,048 --> 00:13:07,137
[ Chuckles ]
Try this new juice I found.
343
00:13:07,170 --> 00:13:08,162
It's got goji pulp.
344
00:13:08,212 --> 00:13:10,213
I don't want goji pulp.
345
00:13:14,642 --> 00:13:17,686
What happened to our everything else?
346
00:13:17,721 --> 00:13:19,858
I got rid of it
to make room for the juice.
347
00:13:19,910 --> 00:13:21,072
It's cheaper if you buy in bulk,
348
00:13:21,107 --> 00:13:22,492
and with my new membership discount...
349
00:13:22,527 --> 00:13:23,483
What?!
350
00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:25,877
You joined a club?
351
00:13:25,914 --> 00:13:27,862
I thought we weren't doing that.
352
00:13:27,914 --> 00:13:30,442
No, it's not a club club.
353
00:13:30,462 --> 00:13:32,292
It's... it's just an opportunity
354
00:13:32,325 --> 00:13:34,444
for people who live in certain zip codes
355
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,684
to get privileges
that aren't available...
356
00:13:36,739 --> 00:13:39,455
crap. I joined a club.
I wasn't supposed to do that!
357
00:13:39,491 --> 00:13:40,704
No.
358
00:13:40,740 --> 00:13:41,901
How did this happen?
359
00:13:41,937 --> 00:13:43,235
You sipped the juice.
360
00:13:43,252 --> 00:13:46,842
George, you let your guard down,
and you sipped the juice.
361
00:13:46,878 --> 00:13:48,705
That's how it works.
362
00:13:48,726 --> 00:13:50,983
You show just a little bit of weakness,
363
00:13:51,033 --> 00:13:53,684
and... and the next thing
you know, you're in...
364
00:13:53,718 --> 00:13:56,026
full pirate garb...
365
00:13:56,061 --> 00:13:57,258
ruining birthdays
366
00:13:57,276 --> 00:14:02,024
and jeopardizing
your two best friendships.
367
00:14:02,056 --> 00:14:03,199
Now, if you will excuse me,
368
00:14:03,253 --> 00:14:05,081
I'm gonna pour myself
a big bowl of cereal
369
00:14:05,134 --> 00:14:06,159
because, as you can see,
370
00:14:06,194 --> 00:14:08,451
I did not get the marzipan parrot.
371
00:14:14,737 --> 00:14:17,455
I can't even look at you right now.
372
00:14:17,491 --> 00:14:19,884
There's gum in my car.
373
00:14:29,181 --> 00:14:30,444
- Hey, buddy.
- Hey.
374
00:14:30,499 --> 00:14:32,704
Victor's at school.
I got my chores done.
375
00:14:32,738 --> 00:14:35,642
Do you want to binge-watch
some "silk stalkings"?
376
00:14:35,679 --> 00:14:36,669
Uh, sorry, Fred.
377
00:14:36,704 --> 00:14:38,293
I'm spending the day in the city.
378
00:14:38,330 --> 00:14:39,885
I got a little off track,
379
00:14:39,919 --> 00:14:43,151
and I need a dose of New York
to remind me who I am.
380
00:14:43,188 --> 00:14:45,869
Don't have to ask me once. I am in!
381
00:14:45,904 --> 00:14:47,255
I... I don't think you're ready
382
00:14:47,290 --> 00:14:48,879
for the mean streets of Manhattan.
383
00:14:48,915 --> 00:14:49,957
Nonsense.
384
00:14:49,994 --> 00:14:52,198
If Crocodile Dundee can acclimate...
385
00:14:52,232 --> 00:14:55,634
O... okay, but we're not gonna be
doing any touristy stuff.
386
00:14:55,670 --> 00:14:57,464
- Nor would I want to.
- Okay.
387
00:14:57,499 --> 00:14:58,609
Let me just grab my poncho,
my traveler's checks,
388
00:14:58,646 --> 00:14:59,601
and my walking stick.
389
00:15:01,108 --> 00:15:02,423
I'll be right back!
390
00:15:02,460 --> 00:15:03,483
[ Door closes ]
391
00:15:03,502 --> 00:15:06,271
[ Indistinct conversations ]
392
00:15:07,692 --> 00:15:09,246
Uh, can I...
393
00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:11,931
sit here, or are you guys
saving this seat for Evan?
394
00:15:11,967 --> 00:15:13,248
She doesn't know.
395
00:15:13,302 --> 00:15:14,668
She wouldn't care.
396
00:15:14,703 --> 00:15:16,617
- She might.
- She won't.
397
00:15:16,652 --> 00:15:18,105
Hey, she's standing right here.
398
00:15:18,141 --> 00:15:20,225
You want to tell her
what you're talking about?
399
00:15:23,732 --> 00:15:26,090
Evan was too upset
to come to school today.
400
00:15:26,111 --> 00:15:29,580
Evan... actually skipped school?
401
00:15:29,598 --> 00:15:31,889
I thought he had the record
for perfect attendance.
402
00:15:31,923 --> 00:15:33,050
Not anymore.
403
00:15:33,087 --> 00:15:36,317
That crown is now worn
by Vikram Deshpandi.
404
00:15:36,353 --> 00:15:39,703
All: Go, Vikram! Go, Vikram!
Go, Vikram! Go, Vikram!
405
00:15:39,738 --> 00:15:42,576
Don't get cocky, Vikram!
Flu season's a-coming!
406
00:15:42,594 --> 00:15:45,707
I wasn't trying to ruin
his perfect-attendance record,
407
00:15:45,757 --> 00:15:49,330
and I certainly wasn't trying
to ruin his birthday.
408
00:15:50,545 --> 00:15:53,692
But I guess I did both.
409
00:15:53,727 --> 00:15:56,426
But in my defense,
you guys have seen my iPod.
410
00:15:56,446 --> 00:15:57,624
You like Willow Smith.
411
00:15:57,660 --> 00:15:59,060
That doesn't make you a good person.
412
00:15:59,063 --> 00:16:01,473
And that's when I realized
413
00:16:01,507 --> 00:16:05,509
trying so hard not to changechanges you.
414
00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:06,929
And as for George...
415
00:16:06,963 --> 00:16:08,432
Okay, when it's crowded like this,
416
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:10,068
you're gonna want to grab onto the poll,
417
00:16:10,076 --> 00:16:12,264
unless it's just unpleasantly sticky,
418
00:16:12,295 --> 00:16:13,456
which it is.
419
00:16:13,491 --> 00:16:15,092
- You know what? Just grab onto me.
- Oh.
420
00:16:15,123 --> 00:16:17,704
...He couldn't tellif the city had changed...
421
00:16:17,734 --> 00:16:19,408
There you go.
422
00:16:19,445 --> 00:16:23,048
[ Coughing ]
...Or he had.
423
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:24,122
[ Indistinct conversations ]
424
00:16:24,156 --> 00:16:25,371
You are gonna love this place.
425
00:16:25,406 --> 00:16:28,022
They have the thickest steaks in town.
426
00:16:28,056 --> 00:16:31,309
Hey, which ho are we in...
Soho, Noho, Boho?!
427
00:16:31,333 --> 00:16:33,883
Oh, I do not remember
the prices being this high.
428
00:16:33,934 --> 00:16:36,156
How can they charge that much
for a steak?
429
00:16:36,172 --> 00:16:38,481
It's like the price of 10 thin steaks.
430
00:16:38,499 --> 00:16:39,815
What, did it get a college education
431
00:16:39,851 --> 00:16:40,824
before they killed it?
432
00:16:40,859 --> 00:16:41,884
Uh, I doubt it.
433
00:16:41,938 --> 00:16:43,099
Oh, I'm sorry.
434
00:16:43,135 --> 00:16:45,133
Oh, wait, this is the lunch menu
I'm looking at.
435
00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:48,093
So the dinner prices...
436
00:16:48,128 --> 00:16:51,068
Okay, no, there is
no steak thick enough.
437
00:16:51,102 --> 00:16:52,948
Let's go, Fred.
438
00:16:52,968 --> 00:16:54,317
[ Car horns honking ]
439
00:16:54,335 --> 00:16:57,806
I can't believe I'm about to eat
a New York City hot dog.
440
00:16:57,842 --> 00:17:00,079
Sheila says they're nothing
but sodium and pig lips.
441
00:17:00,115 --> 00:17:02,285
Yeah, and I'm... I'm pretty sure
they're $2, not $10.
442
00:17:02,304 --> 00:17:03,723
Do you think that guy scammed us
443
00:17:03,757 --> 00:17:05,501
'cause we look like
we're from out of town?
444
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:06,801
Oh, I don't know about that.
445
00:17:06,834 --> 00:17:08,220
That seems awfully mean-spirited.
446
00:17:08,255 --> 00:17:09,246
[ Chuckles ]
447
00:17:09,298 --> 00:17:10,255
Hey, do you know how to get
448
00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:11,298
to the Statue of Liberty from here?
449
00:17:11,333 --> 00:17:13,657
Oh. [ Chuckles ]
I'm just visiting.
450
00:17:13,694 --> 00:17:15,414
Although, I can see
how you would mistake me
451
00:17:15,420 --> 00:17:16,393
for a denizen of this bustling...
452
00:17:16,446 --> 00:17:18,206
[ Australian accent ]
Now, that's a knife!
453
00:17:18,259 --> 00:17:19,369
Whoa.
454
00:17:19,422 --> 00:17:20,482
Oh, hey, hey!
455
00:17:20,517 --> 00:17:22,242
Somebody stop that guy!
456
00:17:22,277 --> 00:17:24,894
He just robbed my friend! Stop!
457
00:17:24,927 --> 00:17:27,082
Okay, or just go about your business
458
00:17:27,117 --> 00:17:29,220
and ignore the suffering of others.
459
00:17:29,254 --> 00:17:31,050
[ Gasps ]
I just got mugged!
460
00:17:31,085 --> 00:17:33,359
I love this town!
461
00:17:40,566 --> 00:17:43,250
I'd been trying so hardto draw a line between me
462
00:17:43,284 --> 00:17:45,046
and the rest of Chatswin that...
463
00:17:45,097 --> 00:17:47,098
I'd crossed it.
464
00:17:48,402 --> 00:17:52,282
I owed Evan a sincere apology.
465
00:17:52,851 --> 00:17:54,201
Evan: Go away.
466
00:17:54,220 --> 00:17:55,279
Evan.
467
00:17:55,332 --> 00:17:57,895
I'm here to say sorry.
468
00:17:57,930 --> 00:17:59,420
I'll even say it in pirate speak.
469
00:17:59,451 --> 00:18:04,598
I'm so-arry
for what happened last night.
470
00:18:04,632 --> 00:18:07,093
Can I come in?
471
00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:10,052
Okay.
472
00:18:12,843 --> 00:18:16,449
I pretty much cried myself
to sleep on my birthday.
473
00:18:16,483 --> 00:18:17,886
That's terrible.
474
00:18:17,917 --> 00:18:19,591
Your words cut sharper than a gins...
475
00:18:19,644 --> 00:18:21,420
I feel awful.
476
00:18:21,438 --> 00:18:23,524
I guess I just didn't realize
that was what you thought of me.
477
00:18:23,576 --> 00:18:25,628
Look, it... it doesn't matter
what I think of you.
478
00:18:25,662 --> 00:18:27,064
I should've kept my mouth shut.
479
00:18:27,082 --> 00:18:29,425
You know, sometimes I think it's easier
480
00:18:29,459 --> 00:18:32,023
to focus on other people's
issues than your own.
481
00:18:32,060 --> 00:18:35,649
I guess we're not so different
after all.
482
00:18:37,118 --> 00:18:38,719
Not quite sure how you got there, but...
483
00:18:38,744 --> 00:18:40,369
can I just have a hug?
484
00:18:40,404 --> 00:18:41,651
Uh...
485
00:18:41,704 --> 00:18:43,309
I guess.
486
00:18:45,768 --> 00:18:47,100
Boy-yoi-yoing!
487
00:18:47,136 --> 00:18:49,392
Okay, I am never talking to you
ever again!
488
00:18:49,412 --> 00:18:52,178
Worth it. It happened,
and it was documented on video!
489
00:18:52,234 --> 00:18:55,720
I may never be able to name17 great things about Evan,
490
00:18:55,737 --> 00:18:56,915
but he did figure out
491
00:18:56,933 --> 00:18:58,678
how to get an ass grab on his birthday.
492
00:18:58,729 --> 00:19:01,467
So I guess, if nothing else,he's resourceful.
493
00:19:01,501 --> 00:19:04,964
And you'd have to be to survive
17 years in Chatswin.
494
00:19:04,988 --> 00:19:06,046
Okay, George,
495
00:19:06,082 --> 00:19:07,278
tell me everything about the city,
496
00:19:07,297 --> 00:19:08,577
and don't leave out a single detail.
497
00:19:08,613 --> 00:19:09,638
Oh, yeah.
498
00:19:09,673 --> 00:19:12,237
Okay, well, uh, where do I begin?
499
00:19:12,255 --> 00:19:15,145
Uh, there were
just these awesome crowds,
500
00:19:15,179 --> 00:19:17,333
you know, so many people just...
501
00:19:17,369 --> 00:19:19,408
energized...
502
00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:21,150
right in your face.
[ Clears throat ]
503
00:19:21,184 --> 00:19:23,525
Uh, and all...
all our favorite hot spots
504
00:19:23,561 --> 00:19:25,510
became, you know...
505
00:19:25,561 --> 00:19:29,288
supremely expensive,
and the stench of urine just...
506
00:19:29,325 --> 00:19:31,033
hits you like a wall.
507
00:19:31,066 --> 00:19:32,092
Bam.
508
00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:33,718
Bam.
509
00:19:33,770 --> 00:19:36,996
I am so glad I grew up in Manhattan
510
00:19:37,035 --> 00:19:38,025
and not Chatswin.
511
00:19:38,059 --> 00:19:39,478
Oh, my gosh. Are you kidding me?
512
00:19:39,513 --> 00:19:41,102
This place with its courteous people
513
00:19:41,138 --> 00:19:42,503
and low crime rate
514
00:19:42,540 --> 00:19:44,385
and reasonably priced thin steaks
515
00:19:44,420 --> 00:19:45,616
and free refills on your drinks...
516
00:19:45,636 --> 00:19:47,417
it's the worst.
517
00:19:47,448 --> 00:19:49,277
Sometimes, the way we see ourselves
518
00:19:49,329 --> 00:19:51,381
doesn't exactly line up with who we are,
519
00:19:51,417 --> 00:19:52,921
and for George came the surprise
520
00:19:52,955 --> 00:19:56,238
that his hometowndidn't feel like home anymore.
521
00:19:56,256 --> 00:19:58,734
Somehow, someway, he had become
522
00:19:58,769 --> 00:20:02,223
more attached to Chatswinthan he ever meant to.
523
00:20:02,242 --> 00:20:04,325
[ Jingling ]
524
00:20:06,977 --> 00:20:08,771
You guys get a new lighting fixture?
525
00:20:08,824 --> 00:20:10,363
Yeah, it's a little much.
526
00:20:10,398 --> 00:20:13,329
The crazy lady down the street
blackmailed us into buying it.
527
00:20:13,353 --> 00:20:15,232
It doesn't exactly look like
it belongs here.
528
00:20:15,251 --> 00:20:18,193
No, but... I like it.
529
00:20:18,243 --> 00:20:20,533
It's got character.
530
00:20:22,836 --> 00:20:25,520
Young woman:
No, you can't get pregnant underwater.
531
00:20:25,539 --> 00:20:28,820
So needless to say,
we're both taking scuba.
532
00:20:28,873 --> 00:20:31,693
Yeah. That's what "scuba" stands for.
533
00:20:32,895 --> 00:20:35,153
"Sperm cannot underwater be activated."
534
00:20:35,187 --> 00:20:38,624
That's not what "scuba" stands for,
535
00:20:38,659 --> 00:20:40,827
but there was no point.
536
00:20:40,849 --> 00:20:43,789
Chatswin wasalways going to be Chatswin.
537
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:45,731
There was nothing I could doto change that.
538
00:20:45,787 --> 00:20:47,153
Tessa!
539
00:20:47,207 --> 00:20:49,544
I hear you were talking
smack about me the other day.
540
00:20:49,576 --> 00:20:51,595
Yeah. I'm sorry.
541
00:20:51,629 --> 00:20:53,809
I have to learn
how to keep my mouth shut.
542
00:20:53,833 --> 00:20:55,541
No, I liked it.
543
00:20:55,592 --> 00:20:57,422
No one ever calls me out on anything
544
00:20:57,475 --> 00:20:59,560
because I'm in a wheelchair,
but you did.
545
00:20:59,595 --> 00:21:01,218
And I just want to say thanks.
546
00:21:01,257 --> 00:21:05,683
You're glad I called you
a two-faced klepto?
547
00:21:05,717 --> 00:21:08,075
Because I am one,
548
00:21:08,113 --> 00:21:10,214
and sometimes getting called out
makes you realize
549
00:21:10,249 --> 00:21:12,437
it's time to change.
550
00:21:12,471 --> 00:21:13,668
Here's your hoodie...
551
00:21:13,721 --> 00:21:16,693
and your zucchini bread...
552
00:21:16,713 --> 00:21:19,482
and your four "D" batteries.
553
00:21:19,535 --> 00:21:20,807
All this was in my...
554
00:21:20,831 --> 00:21:23,107
Yeah, here's the combination
lock to your locker.
555
00:21:24,266 --> 00:21:25,867
And I just want to tell you to your face
556
00:21:25,892 --> 00:21:27,733
that I've never really been
a big fan of yours.
557
00:21:28,850 --> 00:21:30,252
Until now.
558
00:21:31,661 --> 00:21:32,668
Thanks?
559
00:21:34,387 --> 00:21:36,097
Here's your travel mug.
560
00:21:36,122 --> 00:21:44,122
Sync and corrections by atrn97g
for www.addic7ed.com
561
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:48,091
Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player
562
00:21:48,141 --> 00:21:52,691
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
40876
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof