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1
00:00:00,564 --> 00:00:05,030
Folks, temptation just
ain't the name of five dudes...
2
00:00:05,032 --> 00:00:07,257
from Detroit harmonizin' on My Girl.
3
00:00:07,359 --> 00:00:08,992
That's right. That's right.
4
00:00:09,095 --> 00:00:14,198
No, temptation's around
all of us, and it's everywhere.
5
00:00:14,300 --> 00:00:16,767
Temptation don't make you a bad person.
6
00:00:16,869 --> 00:00:17,935
No!
7
00:00:18,037 --> 00:00:20,337
Temptation just makes
you human, that's all.
8
00:00:20,439 --> 00:00:22,106
Yeah, that's right.
9
00:00:22,208 --> 00:00:24,541
'Cause I ain't the first
one carrying the cross...
10
00:00:24,643 --> 00:00:26,343
to walk the line with prostitutes.
11
00:00:26,445 --> 00:00:28,345
Oh... yeah.
12
00:00:28,447 --> 00:00:29,813
Can I get an amen?
13
00:00:29,915 --> 00:00:31,482
Amen! Amen!
14
00:00:31,584 --> 00:00:33,550
Thank y'all for coming out.
15
00:00:38,390 --> 00:00:40,824
Thank you, sir. God bless
you. Thank you so much.
16
00:00:40,926 --> 00:00:43,694
- Thank you, Pastor.
- That's a wonderful hat.
17
00:00:43,796 --> 00:00:46,797
Yeah, thank you, sir. Thank you.
18
00:00:46,899 --> 00:00:47,998
What the f...
19
00:00:48,100 --> 00:00:49,245
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
20
00:00:49,361 --> 00:00:52,175
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
21
00:00:52,605 --> 00:00:53,904
So much for "going straight!"
22
00:00:54,006 --> 00:00:56,206
I hope this doesn't
give you "daddy issues."
23
00:00:56,308 --> 00:00:58,909
Momma says that's how
girls end up dancing for dollars...
24
00:00:59,011 --> 00:01:00,010
on the brass sin stick.
25
00:01:00,112 --> 00:01:01,678
Uh, he's not my dad.
26
00:01:01,780 --> 00:01:04,148
Hey, having a dad's not
all it's cracked up to be.
27
00:01:04,250 --> 00:01:05,275
Look at mine.
28
00:01:05,277 --> 00:01:07,351
Ever since I snuck out
to the Party Break show...
29
00:01:07,453 --> 00:01:08,653
he says I'm not allowed out...
30
00:01:08,687 --> 00:01:10,587
without a "responsible adult chaperone."
31
00:01:10,689 --> 00:01:12,256
Maybe my mom could chaperone?
32
00:01:12,358 --> 00:01:13,724
I love your mom...
33
00:01:13,826 --> 00:01:16,760
but she's an unwed
mother living in sin...
34
00:01:16,862 --> 00:01:20,063
with her unemployed beefcake boyfriend.
35
00:01:20,166 --> 00:01:21,732
Mom's words, not mine.
36
00:01:21,834 --> 00:01:25,469
We don't need someone
to actually go with us...
37
00:01:25,571 --> 00:01:29,173
just an adult willing
to lie to your parents.
38
00:01:30,442 --> 00:01:32,032
Thank you for coming out, halleluja.
39
00:01:32,185 --> 00:01:34,378
Hey, man, you sounded like
a real preacher in there.
40
00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:36,980
Yeah, never underestimate
my capacity for showmanship.
41
00:01:37,082 --> 00:01:39,359
Attendance is up, Debbie's
gettin' her mama money...
42
00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:42,420
and my parole officer
thinks I hung the moon.
43
00:01:42,521 --> 00:01:43,687
Have a great day, sir.
44
00:01:43,789 --> 00:01:45,756
Should be smooth
sailin' from here on out.
45
00:01:45,858 --> 00:01:46,957
I hope so.
46
00:01:47,059 --> 00:01:49,593
Hey there, Pastor. Nice to meet you.
47
00:01:49,695 --> 00:01:51,895
Really inspiring sermon today.
48
00:01:54,033 --> 00:01:55,553
I know you're probably pretty upset...
49
00:01:55,568 --> 00:01:57,034
but it's not what it looks like.
50
00:01:57,136 --> 00:01:59,203
Looks like you're
pretending to be a preacher.
51
00:01:59,305 --> 00:02:00,579
That's pretty much it.
52
00:02:00,718 --> 00:02:02,044
But you gotta understand...
53
00:02:02,158 --> 00:02:04,875
I gotta make enough money to
pay your mom that child support.
54
00:02:04,977 --> 00:02:06,310
Oh, so this is my fault?
55
00:02:06,412 --> 00:02:07,678
I didn't say that.
56
00:02:07,780 --> 00:02:09,613
Although, if you
look at it objectively...
57
00:02:09,715 --> 00:02:13,217
Look, save the excuses,
Vern. I don't need a dad.
58
00:02:13,319 --> 00:02:16,186
But I do need a lying preacher.
59
00:02:16,288 --> 00:02:19,756
(MUSIC PLAYING)
60
00:02:23,562 --> 00:02:26,663
Ronnie! Do you believe this guy?
61
00:02:26,765 --> 00:02:29,216
Why does he think it's okay
to park his boat in my yard?
62
00:02:29,217 --> 00:02:31,101
What are you talking about?
It's been there five months.
63
00:02:31,203 --> 00:02:32,203
It's not hurting nothing.
64
00:02:32,304 --> 00:02:33,804
It's hurting my photo shoot.
65
00:02:33,906 --> 00:02:36,340
The photographer from Craft
Craft Craft Magazine...
66
00:02:36,442 --> 00:02:38,742
is coming to take my
picture in my studio.
67
00:02:38,844 --> 00:02:41,044
Look, I'll take care of it.
68
00:02:41,146 --> 00:02:44,147
Problem... fixed.
69
00:02:44,250 --> 00:02:45,582
Problem not fixed.
70
00:02:45,684 --> 00:02:48,418
Honey, I want it to feel
airy and bigger, okay?
71
00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:50,020
I want the curtains open.
72
00:02:50,122 --> 00:02:52,889
Look, babe, I'm sorry, I
gotta finish preppin' for my show.
73
00:02:52,992 --> 00:02:54,792
You're gonna prep
yourself to go over there...
74
00:02:54,860 --> 00:02:56,760
and tell him to move that boat.
75
00:02:56,862 --> 00:02:58,095
Thanks, babe.
76
00:02:59,798 --> 00:03:01,331
You don't even know it yet...
77
00:03:01,433 --> 00:03:05,202
but all too soon, you'll be all mine.
78
00:03:06,572 --> 00:03:07,971
Somebody blew up your mailbox.
79
00:03:08,073 --> 00:03:10,841
This isn't just God's
house, this is my house.
80
00:03:10,943 --> 00:03:13,910
These fools done
knocked on the wrong door.
81
00:03:15,247 --> 00:03:16,747
Smells expensive...
82
00:03:16,849 --> 00:03:19,716
like a nitro chemical mixed with
a high-grade black powder.
83
00:03:19,818 --> 00:03:21,351
How do you know that?
84
00:03:21,453 --> 00:03:25,656
Eyes are busted, but I got nostrils
like a DEA bloodhound.
85
00:03:25,758 --> 00:03:26,857
See anything else?
86
00:03:26,959 --> 00:03:28,592
Yeah, it's got a catfish logo on it.
87
00:03:28,694 --> 00:03:31,495
Looks like these criminals...
88
00:03:31,597 --> 00:03:33,430
left their calling card.
89
00:03:33,532 --> 00:03:35,132
Why are you talking like that?
90
00:03:35,234 --> 00:03:36,466
CSI: Miami!
91
00:03:36,568 --> 00:03:37,901
I'm pausing to put my
sunglasses back on...
92
00:03:38,003 --> 00:03:39,703
before delivering a meaty line.
93
00:03:39,805 --> 00:03:42,205
It's like, if you could see
my sunglasses where they were...
94
00:03:42,308 --> 00:03:44,241
at the time, you'd understand
what I was actually doing.
95
00:03:44,343 --> 00:03:47,444
Look, I heard it takes a criminal
to catch a criminal.
96
00:03:47,546 --> 00:03:48,979
Which is why I need you.
97
00:03:49,081 --> 00:03:51,248
And also, the sheriff
has strongly suggested...
98
00:03:51,350 --> 00:03:53,116
I stop attempting to drive.
99
00:03:53,218 --> 00:03:57,988
Well then, looks like
we're... I'm putting them back on...
100
00:03:58,090 --> 00:03:59,923
going catfishing.
101
00:04:00,025 --> 00:04:01,925
Knock it off.
102
00:04:05,331 --> 00:04:07,364
What do we got?
103
00:04:07,466 --> 00:04:08,999
Typical small-time dealer.
104
00:04:09,101 --> 00:04:12,703
Young clientele... couple college kids.
105
00:04:12,805 --> 00:04:14,471
My guess is we lean on this punk...
106
00:04:14,573 --> 00:04:16,440
he crumbles like a piece of coffee cake.
107
00:04:16,542 --> 00:04:18,208
Man, I love coffee cake.
108
00:04:18,310 --> 00:04:20,677
It's incredibly delicious.
109
00:04:20,779 --> 00:04:22,479
We need to focus up.
110
00:04:22,581 --> 00:04:24,781
You want to be good cop or bad cop?
111
00:04:24,883 --> 00:04:28,618
How 'bout we nicely ask the
man who's sellin' the fireworks?
112
00:04:28,721 --> 00:04:30,320
Copy that. You're good cop.
113
00:04:30,422 --> 00:04:33,323
(MUSIC PLAYING)
114
00:04:52,172 --> 00:04:53,543
Give you a good deal on a gross of 'em.
115
00:04:53,645 --> 00:04:54,878
Well, let me know if
you change your mind.
116
00:04:54,980 --> 00:04:56,780
Hey, what can I do
you for today, gentlemen?
117
00:04:56,882 --> 00:05:00,250
- Me and my partner here...
- We're not partners.
118
00:05:00,352 --> 00:05:03,754
Associate here looking to
do a little celebrating.
119
00:05:03,856 --> 00:05:05,589
Oh, yeah, well, you
come to the right place.
120
00:05:05,691 --> 00:05:07,057
Lord, we got everything you need.
121
00:05:07,159 --> 00:05:10,127
We got snakes and twisters,
and poppers and snappers.
122
00:05:10,229 --> 00:05:13,663
And we got anything you
want. Just pick your poison.
123
00:05:13,766 --> 00:05:15,132
It's not gonna cut it, mister.
124
00:05:15,234 --> 00:05:18,135
See, we're in the mood
for more of a big bang...
125
00:05:18,237 --> 00:05:19,269
if you know what I mean.
126
00:05:19,371 --> 00:05:20,404
Big bang.
127
00:05:20,506 --> 00:05:21,772
Now, my friend here...
128
00:05:21,874 --> 00:05:24,341
was asking about some of
your top-shelf product...
129
00:05:24,443 --> 00:05:27,944
your bottle rockets, your cherry
bombs, the good stuff.
130
00:05:28,046 --> 00:05:29,765
Oh, no, cherry bombs, no, no.
131
00:05:29,766 --> 00:05:31,615
I don't know what you
fellas have heard...
132
00:05:31,717 --> 00:05:34,117
but these things are
illegal around here, see.
133
00:05:34,219 --> 00:05:35,699
Now, take these sparklers for inst...
134
00:05:35,754 --> 00:05:37,854
We don't want no sparklers, punk!
135
00:05:37,956 --> 00:05:39,956
Okay, all right. I hear ya'.
136
00:05:40,058 --> 00:05:44,261
Um, now look, you fellas
didn't hear this from me, okay?
137
00:05:44,363 --> 00:05:47,531
But, uh, you need to
find a fella named Rico...
138
00:05:47,633 --> 00:05:49,199
down at the Shrimps-n-Such.
139
00:05:49,301 --> 00:05:52,536
Now when you find him, just
ask for the "lunch special."
140
00:05:52,638 --> 00:05:55,972
Lunch special.
141
00:05:56,074 --> 00:05:58,275
One more chance on these, fellas.
142
00:05:58,377 --> 00:05:59,910
What happened to "nicely
asking the man...
143
00:06:00,012 --> 00:06:01,445
"who's selling the fireworks?"
144
00:06:01,547 --> 00:06:04,548
I just kept thinkin' about
coffee cake and got hungry.
145
00:06:04,650 --> 00:06:06,950
I get a little irritable when I'm hungry.
146
00:06:07,052 --> 00:06:10,687
Well... looks like this case just got...
147
00:06:10,789 --> 00:06:12,289
Just drive.
148
00:06:12,391 --> 00:06:13,423
Okay.
149
00:06:13,525 --> 00:06:16,760
(MUSIC PLAYING)
150
00:06:21,634 --> 00:06:23,467
You sure this is Mabel's house?
151
00:06:23,569 --> 00:06:26,337
[VERNON] I never seen so
many gingers in one place.
152
00:06:30,810 --> 00:06:32,143
This is gonna be fun!
153
00:06:32,245 --> 00:06:33,911
A little daddy-daughter,
con-man kind of thing.
154
00:06:34,013 --> 00:06:36,580
Dad, this isn't us
bonding. Keep it simple.
155
00:06:36,682 --> 00:06:38,682
You're my dad, you're a preacher.
156
00:06:38,784 --> 00:06:40,584
You're taking us to a
Christian music concert.
157
00:06:40,620 --> 00:06:43,320
In and out, and no chit-chat.
158
00:06:43,422 --> 00:06:44,788
Good afternoon, brother!
159
00:06:44,891 --> 00:06:47,024
I'm Charlotte's dad. I'm a preacher.
160
00:06:47,126 --> 00:06:50,327
Taking the girls to a Christian
music concert... no chit-chat.
161
00:06:50,429 --> 00:06:52,396
Nonsense, it's supper time!
162
00:06:52,498 --> 00:06:55,699
Mother just setting the
table, come on. You too, girlie.
163
00:07:00,173 --> 00:07:02,039
Come on in!
164
00:07:04,577 --> 00:07:05,843
Mabel will be in shortly.
165
00:07:05,945 --> 00:07:07,945
She's just out composting the cabbage.
166
00:07:08,047 --> 00:07:09,180
Mother?
167
00:07:09,282 --> 00:07:10,614
Hey, y'all!
168
00:07:10,716 --> 00:07:13,350
Martha, this here is Pastor Johnson.
169
00:07:13,452 --> 00:07:15,419
Nice to meet you, ma'am.
170
00:07:15,521 --> 00:07:16,754
I hope you're hungry, Pastor.
171
00:07:16,856 --> 00:07:18,422
The show starts
really soon, so I th...
172
00:07:18,524 --> 00:07:20,057
Yeah, you like ham hocks?
173
00:07:20,159 --> 00:07:24,061
I just butchered Kevin out
back, he was our prime hog.
174
00:07:24,163 --> 00:07:25,896
We really don't
have that much time...
175
00:07:25,998 --> 00:07:27,331
Would you prefer chicken?
176
00:07:27,433 --> 00:07:28,799
I do love chicken now, I...
177
00:07:28,901 --> 00:07:30,534
No, we'll pass on the chicken.
178
00:07:30,636 --> 00:07:32,836
No chicken, Margaret!
179
00:07:35,107 --> 00:07:36,707
Hey, why don't you come
out in my "man cave"...
180
00:07:36,809 --> 00:07:38,075
we can chat in private?
181
00:07:38,177 --> 00:07:42,012
Come on, son, you're gonna enjoy this.
182
00:07:42,114 --> 00:07:44,415
Sometimes a man's got to
get away from the missus...
183
00:07:44,517 --> 00:07:46,417
and do what any
red-blooded American man...
184
00:07:46,519 --> 00:07:47,718
does when he's on his own.
185
00:07:47,820 --> 00:07:48,860
Drink beer and watch por...
186
00:07:48,888 --> 00:07:49,853
Reflect privately and pray.
187
00:07:49,956 --> 00:07:51,422
- Oh.
- What was that, friend?
188
00:07:51,524 --> 00:07:55,025
Same thing you said, the
private prayin' thing.
189
00:07:57,096 --> 00:08:00,764
Come on in... check this out.
190
00:08:02,668 --> 00:08:04,935
This is nice.
191
00:08:09,675 --> 00:08:12,409
(FLIES BUZZING)
192
00:08:14,547 --> 00:08:17,615
Sometimes when I'm out
here pumping weights...
193
00:08:17,717 --> 00:08:20,284
I take my shirt off.
194
00:08:23,756 --> 00:08:26,156
You're an animal.
195
00:08:26,259 --> 00:08:31,161
I mean, you take a 27' Fountain
Fever with a 540 injected...
196
00:08:31,264 --> 00:08:33,497
That eyesore of a boat
is still on my property.
197
00:08:33,599 --> 00:08:35,833
I told you to have them
move it like five times.
198
00:08:35,935 --> 00:08:37,201
Deb, we're in the middle
of a live broadcast here!
199
00:08:37,303 --> 00:08:39,270
I apologize to all my loyal viewers.
200
00:08:39,372 --> 00:08:42,606
Baby, it's cable access. I'm
pretty sure no one's watching.
201
00:08:42,708 --> 00:08:44,975
So what's the hold up?
202
00:08:47,647 --> 00:08:49,146
It's my boat!
203
00:08:49,248 --> 00:08:51,915
Look at this dirt knob
rubbing my face in his radical boat...
204
00:08:52,018 --> 00:08:53,550
by parking it on my property!
205
00:08:53,653 --> 00:08:56,587
You know, they say possession
is nine-tenths of the law.
206
00:08:56,689 --> 00:08:57,655
What is that, fractions?
207
00:08:57,757 --> 00:08:59,323
It's called "eminent domain."
208
00:08:59,425 --> 00:09:01,992
Basically, if that boat sits
on your property for six months...
209
00:09:02,094 --> 00:09:06,297
to the hour on the final
day, it's legally yours.
210
00:09:06,399 --> 00:09:07,865
Is that so?
211
00:09:07,967 --> 00:09:09,800
Look it up, if you don't believe me.
212
00:09:09,902 --> 00:09:12,202
I think we both know
I'm not gonna do that!
213
00:09:12,305 --> 00:09:14,038
I told you, babe, I'll
get 'em to move it...
214
00:09:14,140 --> 00:09:17,408
as soon as I'm
done with my show... jeez.
215
00:09:17,510 --> 00:09:18,842
Whoa! Y'all weren't
filming that, were you?
216
00:09:18,944 --> 00:09:20,144
(PHONE RINGING)
217
00:09:20,246 --> 00:09:21,912
I told you there was viewers, babe!
218
00:09:22,014 --> 00:09:24,815
Caller, you are "onboard"
with your Captain Ronnie!
219
00:09:24,917 --> 00:09:26,437
CALLER (OVER PHONE): Yeah, hi, Ronnie.
220
00:09:26,519 --> 00:09:27,685
I'm a big fan of the
show, doing a great job.
221
00:09:27,787 --> 00:09:29,031
Mm-hm.
222
00:09:29,032 --> 00:09:30,921
Listen, you were talking about
the 27' Fountain Fever earlier.
223
00:09:31,023 --> 00:09:32,523
- That's right.
- I was wondering...
224
00:09:32,625 --> 00:09:34,425
if you've got a
540-injected engine on that...
225
00:09:34,493 --> 00:09:37,161
how many idiots does it take
to host a cable-access show...
226
00:09:37,263 --> 00:09:39,029
out of his girlfriend's basement?
227
00:09:39,131 --> 00:09:40,364
Argh! Damn you! Who are you?
228
00:09:40,466 --> 00:09:41,865
I'm coming after you!
229
00:09:41,967 --> 00:09:44,268
Still here, Ronnie. Argh!
230
00:09:44,370 --> 00:09:46,003
Thank you.
231
00:09:46,105 --> 00:09:47,604
I don't even want to know.
232
00:09:47,707 --> 00:09:51,475
Excuse me... we're
interested in the "lunch special?"
233
00:09:52,411 --> 00:09:53,744
Follow me.
234
00:09:53,846 --> 00:09:57,414
What happens if someone really
wants to hear the lunch special?
235
00:09:57,516 --> 00:10:00,117
Beats me, but check out this guy.
236
00:10:00,219 --> 00:10:02,052
Classic bad-guy booth.
237
00:10:02,154 --> 00:10:05,556
Excuse me, word on the
street is you have a "product"...
238
00:10:05,658 --> 00:10:07,591
we might be "in the market" for.
239
00:10:07,693 --> 00:10:11,995
I'm afraid I can't help you.
I'm just a small-time businessman.
240
00:10:12,098 --> 00:10:14,598
But what you're into sounds dangerous.
241
00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:16,567
I'd be careful if I were you.
242
00:10:16,669 --> 00:10:20,003
What if what we're into
is "the lunch special?"
243
00:10:20,106 --> 00:10:22,206
Don't happen to have
catfish on the menu, do you?
244
00:10:22,308 --> 00:10:24,408
No idea. I ordered the lobster.
245
00:10:24,510 --> 00:10:27,177
Did you know that
lobsters are autotomous?
246
00:10:27,279 --> 00:10:32,983
Meaning they can regenerate
body parts, unlike human beings.
247
00:10:34,453 --> 00:10:36,353
Did you know there's a
species of crustaceans...
248
00:10:36,455 --> 00:10:37,975
called gribbles, that lives on wood...
249
00:10:38,023 --> 00:10:40,290
and has actually sunk pirate ships?
250
00:10:40,393 --> 00:10:41,892
Psst... hey!
251
00:10:41,994 --> 00:10:44,895
I told you to follow me.
We're going out back.
252
00:10:44,997 --> 00:10:46,897
Why does this always happen?
253
00:10:46,999 --> 00:10:49,900
And please receive Kevin
into thy loving arms...
254
00:10:50,002 --> 00:10:54,738
as he's sacrificed his life that
we might enjoy his savory hocks.
255
00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:56,473
Amen.
256
00:10:56,575 --> 00:10:58,342
- Amen.
- Amen.
257
00:10:58,444 --> 00:11:00,344
Just follow my lead, so
we can get out of here.
258
00:11:00,446 --> 00:11:03,580
So, Pastor Johnson, what led
you to do the Lord's work?
259
00:11:03,682 --> 00:11:05,115
Hm.
260
00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:12,122
These biscuits are delicious.
261
00:11:12,224 --> 00:11:14,591
We were delighted to hear
that Charlotte had a father...
262
00:11:14,693 --> 00:11:16,026
- who's also a pastor.
- Mm-hm.
263
00:11:16,128 --> 00:11:17,761
And why haven't we heard about you?
264
00:11:17,863 --> 00:11:19,563
Uh, the reason you've
never heard about my father...
265
00:11:19,665 --> 00:11:20,798
before is because...
266
00:11:20,900 --> 00:11:22,866
- We just met.
- he's been traveling.
267
00:11:22,968 --> 00:11:23,934
And... we just met.
268
00:11:24,036 --> 00:11:25,803
I was traveling... on the road.
269
00:11:25,905 --> 00:11:26,970
Uh, doing missionary work.
270
00:11:27,072 --> 00:11:28,005
Mm-hm, yeah.
271
00:11:28,107 --> 00:11:32,609
Healing, preaching... uh...
272
00:11:32,711 --> 00:11:34,745
- Food.
- Feeding... feeding.
273
00:11:34,847 --> 00:11:36,413
Yeah, feeding the needy.
274
00:11:36,515 --> 00:11:39,149
Yeah, and boy, I'll tell
you, there was some needy ones.
275
00:11:39,251 --> 00:11:40,684
Sometimes they'd come
back for seconds...
276
00:11:40,786 --> 00:11:43,020
and I'd be like,
whoa, that is one needy m...
277
00:11:43,122 --> 00:11:45,002
Anyway, he didn't even
know he had a daughter...
278
00:11:45,090 --> 00:11:46,557
until a couple weeks ago.
279
00:11:46,659 --> 00:11:50,260
Yeah, when I met her mom,
I was on a different path.
280
00:11:50,362 --> 00:11:55,265
A lot of booze, drugs,
liquor, women... more booze.
281
00:11:56,669 --> 00:11:59,069
I mean, it was a time
period in my life...
282
00:11:59,171 --> 00:12:00,504
where I made a lot of mistakes.
283
00:12:00,606 --> 00:12:05,476
Well, God forgives, Pastor.
We all make mistakes.
284
00:12:13,452 --> 00:12:14,551
Hm.
285
00:12:14,653 --> 00:12:17,321
Anyway, I guess
without those wrong turns...
286
00:12:17,423 --> 00:12:19,056
I wouldn't have this little lady here...
287
00:12:19,158 --> 00:12:23,427
and that'd be the
biggest mistake of all.
288
00:12:23,529 --> 00:12:26,663
Sweetheart, you haven't
even tried your Kevin.
289
00:12:26,765 --> 00:12:28,332
He was my friend, Dad...
290
00:12:28,434 --> 00:12:30,367
not just some slaughter pig.
291
00:12:30,469 --> 00:12:33,170
All pigs are slaughter pigs, honey.
292
00:12:35,908 --> 00:12:37,641
You want the rest of my Kevin?
293
00:12:37,743 --> 00:12:39,610
I'm okay.
294
00:12:40,665 --> 00:12:43,199
You fellas best be careful
where you go sniffing around...
295
00:12:43,301 --> 00:12:45,635
you might not like what you smell.
296
00:12:47,238 --> 00:12:49,172
What's going on? Who is that?
297
00:12:49,274 --> 00:12:51,240
A dishwasher and a busboy.
298
00:12:51,343 --> 00:12:52,823
The busboy is holding a dead catfish.
299
00:12:52,877 --> 00:12:55,712
You two don't seem
like the fireworks type.
300
00:12:55,814 --> 00:12:57,246
What makes you say that?
301
00:12:57,349 --> 00:12:59,149
- Well, he's blind... for one.
- You listen here...
302
00:12:59,150 --> 00:13:01,150
I see what I need to see!
303
00:13:01,252 --> 00:13:03,486
Someone you sold fireworks to...
304
00:13:03,588 --> 00:13:05,455
made a mess of my church mailbox.
305
00:13:05,557 --> 00:13:08,057
And no one messes with
my church mailbox.
306
00:13:08,159 --> 00:13:10,860
So, you can make it right
and never see us again...
307
00:13:10,962 --> 00:13:13,563
or I'm gonna run your
ass clean out of town.
308
00:13:13,665 --> 00:13:14,697
Got it?
309
00:13:18,003 --> 00:13:18,935
Got it?
310
00:13:19,037 --> 00:13:20,236
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we got it.
311
00:13:20,338 --> 00:13:22,438
See ya round, fellas.
312
00:13:22,540 --> 00:13:24,941
Yeah, see you around, fellas.
313
00:13:25,043 --> 00:13:26,376
What happened?
314
00:13:26,478 --> 00:13:28,444
You were supposed to
slap him with the catfish.
315
00:13:28,546 --> 00:13:30,346
That was the entire
reason we brought it.
316
00:13:30,448 --> 00:13:33,249
He really has been phoning it in lately.
317
00:13:33,351 --> 00:13:36,219
Agh, that took forever.
318
00:13:36,321 --> 00:13:38,721
I hope the band is still on.
319
00:13:40,625 --> 00:13:43,860
All right, I want to make
it clear, lying is wrong.
320
00:13:43,962 --> 00:13:45,361
You should never lie.
321
00:13:45,463 --> 00:13:47,697
Unless it's to save
someone else's feelings.
322
00:13:47,799 --> 00:13:49,699
Or it helps you get what you want.
323
00:13:49,801 --> 00:13:52,902
Or it just makes things easier
for you in one way or another.
324
00:13:53,004 --> 00:13:54,437
Otherwise, it's wrong.
325
00:13:54,539 --> 00:13:57,073
Okay, great life lesson! You
can pick us up in a few hours.
326
00:13:57,175 --> 00:13:59,475
Thanks for the ride, Mr... Vernon.
327
00:13:59,577 --> 00:14:02,011
Uh, what are you doing?
328
00:14:02,113 --> 00:14:03,413
I'm coming in to hear the band.
329
00:14:03,515 --> 00:14:05,114
You, uh, really don't have to do that.
330
00:14:05,216 --> 00:14:07,050
Aw, have to? I want to!
331
00:14:07,152 --> 00:14:09,719
Plus, I can help you pass
out your little magazine things.
332
00:14:09,821 --> 00:14:14,690
They're called zines, and I
just leave them for people to grab.
333
00:14:14,793 --> 00:14:16,926
Holy crap, man, I
can't believe you wrote this.
334
00:14:17,028 --> 00:14:18,227
That's a helluva lotta words!
335
00:14:18,329 --> 00:14:20,797
Uh, yeah, well, uh... we gotta pee!
336
00:14:20,899 --> 00:14:22,698
Hey, but nobody's ever
gonna read these...
337
00:14:22,801 --> 00:14:24,700
if you just leave 'em laying here!
338
00:14:24,803 --> 00:14:26,602
Here, man, check this
out. You'll love it.
339
00:14:26,704 --> 00:14:28,938
Read this... it's very cool.
340
00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:33,643
(HUMMING)
341
00:14:33,745 --> 00:14:37,013
Did you get them to move that boat?
342
00:14:37,115 --> 00:14:41,717
Ronnie, if I look out the window,
am I gonna see a boat?
343
00:14:41,820 --> 00:14:44,420
Hm? Hm.
344
00:14:46,291 --> 00:14:47,790
Damn it! He's outside now!
345
00:14:47,892 --> 00:14:50,827
[DEBBIE] Will you get over
there and tell him to move the boat?
346
00:14:53,431 --> 00:14:55,031
Stan, I want to talk about...
347
00:14:55,133 --> 00:14:57,300
That's right, you tell him!
348
00:14:57,402 --> 00:14:59,302
I saw a squirrel over
there! He ran over here!
349
00:14:59,404 --> 00:15:01,044
Under your beautiful
boat, which I love...
350
00:15:01,072 --> 00:15:02,352
which you keep nice and clean...
351
00:15:02,407 --> 00:15:03,606
then he ran to the top of the tree...
352
00:15:03,708 --> 00:15:05,208
and then all these
nuts started coming down.
353
00:15:05,310 --> 00:15:07,243
He's crushing nuts to the
left, crushing nuts to the right.
354
00:15:07,345 --> 00:15:09,846
Crushing all the nuts!
355
00:15:11,783 --> 00:15:14,417
That's really something.
Would you like a beer?
356
00:15:14,519 --> 00:15:15,879
I would love to have a beer, Stan!
357
00:15:15,954 --> 00:15:18,054
But I can't have one, now can I?
358
00:15:22,293 --> 00:15:23,860
[RONNIE] Hey!
359
00:15:27,332 --> 00:15:28,531
Watch out.
360
00:15:28,633 --> 00:15:30,299
Hey! Hey, what's up, what's up!
361
00:15:30,401 --> 00:15:32,301
Hey, like, what's
up, what's up, what's up?
362
00:15:32,403 --> 00:15:33,302
Dude, why are you so sweaty, man?
363
00:15:33,404 --> 00:15:34,904
What? Oh, because...
364
00:15:35,006 --> 00:15:36,506
Well, you guys left before
I was done getting ready...
365
00:15:36,608 --> 00:15:38,007
so I just ran down.
366
00:15:38,109 --> 00:15:40,710
Go stand over there...
until you're not so gross.
367
00:15:40,812 --> 00:15:42,578
Okay, I'll just... I'll be over here.
368
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:44,847
You gotta take one of
these zines, they're incredible.
369
00:15:44,949 --> 00:15:48,117
Hey! You've got my face on your chest!
370
00:15:48,219 --> 00:15:49,852
Excuse me?
371
00:15:49,954 --> 00:15:51,521
That picture, that's me!
372
00:15:51,623 --> 00:15:54,757
Oh, yeah, I got this at a
thrift store, it's retro.
373
00:15:54,859 --> 00:15:56,219
If you want me to sign it, I will.
374
00:15:56,261 --> 00:15:58,227
Oh, God... no, no...
375
00:15:58,329 --> 00:16:00,830
Guys, check it out! It's Burnin' Vernon!
376
00:16:00,932 --> 00:16:03,699
We used to get so baked to
your song back in middle school.
377
00:16:03,801 --> 00:16:05,801
Take a picture, will you?
378
00:16:05,904 --> 00:16:08,871
I'm totally winning Instagram with this.
379
00:16:12,510 --> 00:16:15,144
Great shot.
380
00:16:15,246 --> 00:16:17,213
Comes with the territory.
381
00:16:17,315 --> 00:16:19,081
Do you know this guy?
382
00:16:19,184 --> 00:16:20,550
Uh...
383
00:16:20,652 --> 00:16:22,618
Uh, no, I was just so
excited about these zines.
384
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:24,253
Thought everybody should read one.
385
00:16:24,355 --> 00:16:28,090
Anyway, I gotta get going,
young lady who I don't know.
386
00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:37,875
Here you go, last one left,
your lucky day.
387
00:16:37,974 --> 00:16:40,711
Hey, wait up, I know you!
You're Burnin' Vernon.
388
00:16:40,810 --> 00:16:43,238
Yep, that's me... the "guy
from the nineties"...
389
00:16:43,372 --> 00:16:44,048
sang "that one song."
390
00:16:44,147 --> 00:16:46,517
Hey, "that one song" may have
been the only one to chart...
391
00:16:46,617 --> 00:16:48,352
but your whole album was pretty solid.
392
00:16:48,452 --> 00:16:50,687
Wait a minute, you heard my whole album?
393
00:16:50,788 --> 00:16:53,657
I've heard all your stuff. I'm a fan.
394
00:16:53,758 --> 00:16:55,460
I'm also a bit of the music geek.
395
00:16:55,559 --> 00:16:56,827
I work for Nashville Scene.
396
00:16:56,928 --> 00:16:59,864
No offense, but I thought you were dead.
397
00:16:59,963 --> 00:17:03,100
Seems to be a common misconception.
398
00:17:03,201 --> 00:17:03,968
What's this?
399
00:17:04,067 --> 00:17:05,368
Oh, my daughter wrote it.
400
00:17:05,470 --> 00:17:07,605
Local bands she's listening
to, stuff like that.
401
00:17:07,704 --> 00:17:09,073
It's good, too.
402
00:17:09,173 --> 00:17:11,643
So I guess a love of music
runs in the family, huh?
403
00:17:11,742 --> 00:17:13,211
I guess it does.
404
00:17:13,310 --> 00:17:15,913
Well, if she is anywhere near
as talented as you are...
405
00:17:16,012 --> 00:17:18,415
I'm gonna check it out.
406
00:17:18,516 --> 00:17:21,820
Lotta things being checked out
right now, honey.
407
00:17:27,892 --> 00:17:29,192
So, this is my studio...
408
00:17:29,292 --> 00:17:31,294
and I thought we could do
the photo in here.
409
00:17:31,394 --> 00:17:33,464
Sorry, babe, if you want,
I'll march over there...
410
00:17:33,565 --> 00:17:36,933
steal the keys and move it
myself... in two minutes.
411
00:17:37,034 --> 00:17:39,470
Oh, don't worry, I told
him to move the boat.
412
00:17:39,569 --> 00:17:41,938
They acted like they didn't even
know what I was talking about.
413
00:17:42,038 --> 00:17:44,040
- (ENGINE STARTING)
- (HORN HONKING)
414
00:17:44,141 --> 00:17:46,877
- Where are you...
- My boat!
415
00:17:46,977 --> 00:17:52,182
What did you do to me,
woman? My boat! No!
416
00:17:52,282 --> 00:17:54,084
My boat!
417
00:17:55,618 --> 00:17:58,789
Well, look at this. I guess
Catfish is a man of his word.
418
00:17:58,890 --> 00:18:01,057
What is it? You know I can't see.
419
00:18:01,157 --> 00:18:03,092
Mailbox has been replaced.
420
00:18:03,192 --> 00:18:07,064
There's a box inside with a note.
421
00:18:07,163 --> 00:18:11,402
Sorry for the inconvenience,
enjoy a big bang on me.
422
00:18:13,470 --> 00:18:15,139
Huh?
423
00:18:15,239 --> 00:18:18,509
Are you Charlotte? Did you write this?
424
00:18:18,608 --> 00:18:21,611
Yes, I am. I mean, I did. Both.
425
00:18:21,711 --> 00:18:24,882
You know, it's funny, I never
pick these things up...
426
00:18:24,981 --> 00:18:27,285
but this one was handed to me.
427
00:18:27,384 --> 00:18:30,688
Oh, God, I'm sorry. I told him
nobody ever does that.
428
00:18:30,788 --> 00:18:33,089
Don't worry, my dad embarrasses me, too.
429
00:18:33,190 --> 00:18:35,125
At least yours is kind of charming.
430
00:18:35,226 --> 00:18:37,127
I'm Allison, I work at Nashville Scene.
431
00:18:37,227 --> 00:18:38,095
Oh.
432
00:18:38,194 --> 00:18:40,563
I gotta say... this is really good.
433
00:18:40,664 --> 00:18:42,031
Wow, thanks.
434
00:18:42,132 --> 00:18:43,334
Who are you listening to right now?
435
00:18:43,433 --> 00:18:45,636
Natural Child are great,
so is Faux Ferocious.
436
00:18:45,737 --> 00:18:48,139
And right now, Party Break
are my current favorite.
437
00:18:48,239 --> 00:18:49,840
Well, I'll look forward to
reading about them...
438
00:18:49,940 --> 00:18:51,308
in your next zine.
439
00:18:51,409 --> 00:18:54,378
You should send me a copy,
if you get a chance.
440
00:18:54,478 --> 00:18:55,446
Thanks.
441
00:18:55,546 --> 00:18:57,115
Hey, I heard you talking
about Party Break.
442
00:18:57,214 --> 00:18:59,682
I'm the keyboardist
from Party Break, I'm Val!
443
00:18:59,782 --> 00:19:01,351
I got a solo show coming up!
444
00:19:01,451 --> 00:19:04,422
If you're with the Nashville
Scene, you should... just go.
445
00:19:07,723 --> 00:19:09,492
Hey, my eyes are up here.
446
00:19:09,593 --> 00:19:10,861
My eyes are down there.
447
00:19:10,961 --> 00:19:13,565
Damn, I was a good-looking sonuvabitch.
448
00:19:15,332 --> 00:19:18,335
One summer when I was a kid, I
got holda some bottle rockets.
449
00:19:18,434 --> 00:19:21,271
I'd fire them suckers off all night.
450
00:19:21,372 --> 00:19:23,740
Meemaw said, "Boy, them bottle
rockets are dangerous!"
451
00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:27,744
But pride got the better of me
and I just wouldn't listen.
452
00:19:27,845 --> 00:19:29,813
And that's how you lost your eyesight.
453
00:19:29,913 --> 00:19:31,516
What? No, uh-uh.
454
00:19:31,615 --> 00:19:34,585
Burned my thumb bad, though.
455
00:19:34,684 --> 00:19:39,190
You know, Curtis, I think we
made a pretty good team today.
456
00:19:40,724 --> 00:19:46,096
It's too bad all this evidence
is gone up in smoke.
457
00:19:46,195 --> 00:19:47,997
That's a pretty good one.
458
00:19:48,097 --> 00:19:50,801
Now go on and clean this mess up, convict.
459
00:19:50,902 --> 00:19:52,437
Right.
460
00:19:52,476 --> 00:19:55,682
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461
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