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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:04,949 Oooh! 2 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:06,991 (Laughter) 3 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:09,431 Eeee! 4 00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:11,471 (Phone rings) 5 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:17,119 Hello? 6 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:19,151 Hi. Hi! 7 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:21,953 - Yeah. No, I just... I'm just... - Uhhh! 8 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:24,639 ...you know, just hanging out... Stop it! 9 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:27,991 Er, no. Nobody, nobody. 10 00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:30,031 Erm, yeah. 11 00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:32,150 Today? All right, yeah. OK. 12 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:36,193 Well, I'II, er... I'll see you later, then. Bye. 13 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:42,197 That was Sarah. She wants to see me today. 14 00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:44,356 - I wonder what that's all about. - I dunno. 15 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:47,233 Maybe she wants her CD player back. 16 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:49,919 - Oooh! - Maybe she's getting married. 17 00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:51,951 Ooh! 18 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:55,231 - Maybe she's pregnant. - Aaaarghhhh! 19 00:00:55,980 --> 00:01:04,152 Ripped By mstoll Happy New Year 2015 - New Year, New Color ;-) 20 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:07,393 - So what's the attraction of this, then? - What? 21 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:09,476 - Skateboarding. - What do you mean? 22 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:11,590 - Why do you do it? - It's quicker than walking. 23 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:15,519 - Is it easy? - Daisy! I'm kinda busy at the moment. 24 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:19,189 - Have you seen my chocolate beanie? - I was just asking. 25 00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:21,470 The only woman in my life I've ever cared about 26 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:23,715 who isn't computer-generated or a fictional FBI agent 27 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:25,352 has just phoned up and asked to see me. 28 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:28,870 You've picked a weird time to take a spontaneous interest in my travel habits. 29 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:31,070 - Thanks! - All right, don't get upset. 30 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:33,873 You hate skateboarding, anyway. You're always saying it's childish, 31 00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:36,070 which really pisses me off because it's not. 32 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,189 - All right, calm down. - I am calm! 33 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:46,393 I thought you were gonna take me to the ICA to see Akira. 34 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:49,714 Yeah, well, you know... we'll watch it on video. 35 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:53,116 What was all that stuff you were saying about "You've gotta see it on the big screen"? 36 00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:56,391 Well, we'll just... sit close to the telly. 37 00:01:57,320 --> 00:01:59,675 All right, well... take care of yourself. 38 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:05,113 - Thank you. - That's what you're best at, isn't it? 39 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:14,358 ( Teo Usuelli: Piacere Sequence) 40 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,797 So, er... how's it going? 41 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:31,717 Tim, I've split up with Duane. 42 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:34,513 What are you telling me for? 43 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:40,156 Daddy cool. (Chuckles) 44 00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:42,317 Ow! Hi. 45 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:44,351 - Hi. - Shall we go in? 46 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:46,391 - (Thump) - Argh! 47 00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:49,876 Can you believe it? He's going out to meet her! 48 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:52,593 So? I see all of my ex-boyfriends. 49 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:54,710 I see my ex-girlfriends. 50 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:58,196 Well, not so much see as... watch. 51 00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:01,789 - They might get back together. - That's what she wants him to think. 52 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:05,719 She's gonna look really good, to remind him of how much he likes her, 53 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:09,036 and say things like "I'm just... I'm really confused." 54 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:11,674 What kind of creature does that... 55 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:15,759 and knowingly tortures someone just to satisfy her own vanity? 56 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:22,676 - What are you doing today, Brian? - Going to an exhibition later. 57 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:25,837 Tunde Aragundade's White Paintings of the 20th Century. 58 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:29,668 - Sounds riveting. - Is he the one who does the white paintings? 59 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:31,199 Yeah. 60 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:35,631 And he wears cheesecloth shirts? I know who you mean. 61 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:37,875 D'you wanna come? 62 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:42,710 The thing is, I can't really walk in these heels. They're more for sitting down than moving. 63 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:44,557 Oh, OK. 64 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,831 I'll pop back later if you change your... 65 00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:49,711 shoes. 66 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:52,631 Bye. 67 00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:56,273 - Did Brian just ask you out? - No. 68 00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:59,316 - Yes, he did. - No, he didn't. 69 00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:01,351 - Yes, he did. - Don't be silly. 70 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:03,516 Yes, he diiiiid! 71 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:04,549 Did he? 72 00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:17,714 So, er... how's it going? 73 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:21,670 Tim, I've split up with Duane. 74 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:25,918 ( Fantastic Plastic Machine: S'il Vous Pla?t) 75 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:36,591 Hey! 76 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:54,795 - How did it go? - Pretty good. 77 00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:57,638 - Pretty good? - Yeah, she's split up with Duane. 78 00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:01,148 - Right. - She said she felt a little bit confused, 79 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:04,476 but basically... I think she wants me back. 80 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:07,193 We're gonna meet at the Bell later on, talk at length. 81 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:11,233 - Right. - Yes, and I've got a funny feeling 82 00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:13,236 she's gonna want me to move back in with her. 83 00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:15,271 (Alarm sounds) 84 00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:19,712 - What was that? - It was our new doorbell. 85 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:22,149 I bought it back from the shop. It was gonna be a surprise. 86 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:24,509 - It was a surprise. - Good. 87 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:26,357 What do you mean, you've got a funny feeling? 88 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:30,109 I just know, you know. I can read her like a book. 89 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:32,549 - Don't judge a book by its cover. - He who dares wins. 90 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,989 - Look before you leap. - Do you believe in life after love? 91 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:36,792 - That's a song. - (Whispers) Shit. 92 00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:39,912 How do you know she's not gonna change her mind and dump you again? 93 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:41,951 (Alarm sounds) 94 00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:44,317 - That's the doorbell again. - Go on, then. 95 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,671 All right! 96 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:58,839 It's Mike. Gotta take him for his re-evaluation. 97 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:02,111 - Hello, Daisy. - Tim, I think we should talk about this. 98 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:05,516 Did I ever tell you how Mike and myself became such good friends? 99 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:09,235 It's quite an interesting story. It happened when we were children, 100 00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:11,271 a long, long time ago. 101 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:16,598 (Daisy) Tim? 102 00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:18,631 Tim? Tim! 103 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:20,477 What?! 104 00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:23,080 - What? - I can't believe you wanna move out. 105 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:25,270 I don't want to... 106 00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:29,359 I don't want to move out from you, I just want to move in with her. 107 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:31,550 - I don't understand. - What is your problem? 108 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:34,751 - I thought you'd be happy for me. - Oh, I am. Yes, I am. 109 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:37,473 It's what I want, Daisy. You must have things you want. 110 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:41,229 You always go on about wanting to go to Asia and see the Taj Mahal. I don't complain. 111 00:06:41,280 --> 00:06:44,431 Yeah, I wanna go to Asia, I wanna see the Taj Mahal. 112 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:49,031 But the Taj Mahal didn't sleep with its boss behind my back and break my heart! 113 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:50,479 (Door slams) 114 00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:53,592 Yeah, well, it might if you go to Asia. 115 00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:57,038 What's her problem? 116 00:06:57,760 --> 00:07:01,594 Maybe she's worried about you stumbling blindly into a doomed relationship, 117 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:02,834 getting badly hurt again, 118 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:07,670 while losing this place and the friendship you've built up over the past six months. 119 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:13,352 It must mean a lot to her or she wouldn't be so bothered about your emotional wellbeing. 120 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,516 Get in the car, you big ape. 121 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:16,788 OK, then. 122 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:24,397 Just be yourself, OK? Don't do anything odd. It's really important for me that you get this. 123 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:26,431 - It isn't your fault, Tim. - It is, Mike. 124 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:27,037 - Isn't. - Is. 125 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:27,876 - Isn't. - Is. 126 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:28,432 - Isn't. - Is. 127 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:29,595 - Is. - Isn't... 128 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:32,029 - Ooh, why, you... - Ahh! 129 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:36,039 It is my fault, Mike. I know we were only little, but... 130 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:38,674 I can still see you up that tree. 131 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:52,470 Come on! 132 00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:54,511 Come on! 133 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:56,996 (Clucks like a chicken) 134 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:02,951 (Splat) 135 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:06,390 If you hadn't jumped, your retinas'd still be attached - you'd be in the regular army. 136 00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:08,510 - You don't know that, Tim. - Just... 137 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:12,831 - Give it your best shot, OK? - Can't you come in with me? 138 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:16,156 I'm not your dad, Mike. 139 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:19,558 Here's your sandwiches. I'll pick you up at five. 140 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:23,397 I'm Andy McNab, I'm Andy McNab, I'm Andy McNab, 141 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:27,399 I'm Andy McNab, I'm Andie MacDowell... (Whimpers) 142 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,431 (Military drums) 143 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:37,840 Mr Watt, we're here to ascertain whether you're ready to rejoin the Territorial Army. 144 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:38,630 Yes. 145 00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:43,959 It's important to establish that you understand the reasons for your original suspension. 146 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,468 - I do, sir. - Go on. 147 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:48,988 In 1994, while on weekend manoeuvres in France, 148 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:53,636 I commandeered a Chieftain tank without the permission of my immediate superiors. 149 00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:56,069 I then attempted to invade Paris. 150 00:08:56,120 --> 00:09:00,432 However, en route I stopped at Disneyland, or Eurodisney as it was then called, 151 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:03,313 and was subsequently apprehended on Space Mountain. 152 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:06,557 Do you have any explanation as to why you might have done this? 153 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:12,118 At the time, I was suffering serious emotional problems that clearly affected my judgment. 154 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:15,072 I had immersed myself in a fantasy world of my own creation 155 00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:18,157 and as a result I became very insular and uncommunicative. 156 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:19,872 Why do you think that was? 157 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:23,910 I dunno. 158 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,989 Thanks for the shoes, Daise. 159 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:34,315 Ahh, are you sure you don't want to come, mm? 160 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:38,117 No, better not, I've got loads of work to do. 161 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:41,357 - Well, maybe I could... - (Door slams) 162 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:50,871 (Twist) Oof! 163 00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:58,549 Kick. Kick. Kick! 164 00:09:58,600 --> 00:09:59,635 Kick! Kick! 165 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:04,911 (Sighs) 166 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:12,875 - I'm going to pick up Mike from the TA. - Yeah, all right. 167 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:14,876 What time are you meeting Sarah? 168 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:16,956 Will you get off my back?! 169 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:19,560 - I'm not on your back. - You are! 170 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:23,718 Yeah... I can feel you, you're there, like Jabba's little mate - "Wa-ha-ha!" 171 00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:26,069 Why can't you just wish me luck and say "Have a good time"? 172 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:29,237 I'm not a hypocrite, I wouldn't wish you luck with something I think is bad for you. 173 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,555 - Well, can't you pretend? - No. 174 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:33,830 - You just don't want me to move out, do you? - What? 175 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:36,110 - You don't want me to move out. - Is that what you think this is about? 176 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:38,276 - Well... - You conceited little shit! 177 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:43,038 Don't you dare flatter yourself to think that I would stand in your way for my own ends. 178 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:46,438 For your information, I would be sad if you moved out, 179 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,436 but it isn't about me. 180 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:51,916 I'm your friend, and friends are supposed to look out for each other, 181 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:53,552 and I think you're making a mistake. 182 00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:58,833 If you're too stupid to see that, then someone, a friend, me, should point it out to you. 183 00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:04,877 Well, OK, while we're being friends, maybe I should be a friend to you 184 00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:06,717 and point out that you're using my personal problems 185 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:10,719 as another in a long line of excuses not to get out your bloody typewriter and do some work! 186 00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:13,671 I am not avoiding work. 187 00:11:14,560 --> 00:11:17,120 Oh, right, OK..."Ooh, let's have a party." 188 00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:19,033 "Ooh, let's do some theatre." 189 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:20,195 "Ooh, let's get a dog." 190 00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:24,199 "Ooh, let's spend hours in front of our bedroom mirror bogling to Aswad!" 191 00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:27,391 - That was research! - You keep telling yourself that, Daisy, 192 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:30,352 but I think I am big enough and ugly enough to make my own mistakes! 193 00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:33,230 Well, Sarah obviously does. 194 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,470 (Computer game) Ha! Ha! 195 00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:39,511 Nina Williams wins! 196 00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:41,039 Ha-ha-ha! 197 00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:44,551 Daisy Steiner wins! 198 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:47,758 Ha-ha ha-ha ha-ha-ha ha-ha! 199 00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:02,878 (Knock at door) 200 00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:07,551 - Oh, hi, Marsha. - Hello. Are you busy? 201 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:10,398 Erm, well, yes, I'm... 202 00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:12,112 working. 203 00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:14,355 But I could do with a breather. 204 00:12:17,560 --> 00:12:21,838 Listen... I couldn't help overhearing you and Tim rowing. 205 00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:24,189 - Really? - Oh, it's all right. 206 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:26,037 It was ever so loud. 207 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:29,038 ...bogling to Aswad! - That was research! 208 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:30,559 Sorry. 209 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:35,196 That's all right. Do you want a splash of vino collapso? 210 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:40,711 Once again, the fruit of my loins has fucked off to Top Shop with the housekeeping. 211 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,398 Well, I'll just have the one. 212 00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:48,350 I just saw that friend of yours, Twit, leaving with Brian. 213 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:51,949 - What's that all about, then? - They're just going to an exhibition together. 214 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:53,638 Is it serious? 215 00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:55,716 Tunde Aragundade. 216 00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:57,751 Bloody hell. 217 00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:01,631 Oh, well. C'est la vie. 218 00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:03,716 Et tu, Brian? 219 00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:08,797 What is going on between you and Brian? 220 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:10,953 - This one? - War. 221 00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:13,159 - This one? - Bombs? 222 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:16,432 - This one? - Guts. 223 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:20,151 Guns. 224 00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:23,551 Guts and guns. 225 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:27,191 Butterfly. 226 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:29,872 Butterfly with a bomb. 227 00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:34,313 Finally, Mr Watt, how does this make you feel? 228 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,591 (Chuckles) Nice. 229 00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:40,232 Welcome back, Mike. 230 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:57,111 You and Brian? 231 00:13:58,080 --> 00:13:59,479 Yeah. 232 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:02,917 Well... 233 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:09,673 one night he came up here, begging me to let him stay cos he couldn't pay his rent. 234 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:13,470 We had a couple of bottles of duty-free grappa. 235 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:16,476 Next thing I know... 236 00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:19,629 I'm riding him like a bitch from hell. 237 00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:22,353 (Splutters) You became lovers? 238 00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:25,439 No, it was his rent, really. 239 00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:31,315 Did he leave a deposit? 240 00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:36,630 To tell you the truth, 241 00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:39,433 I'm not sure how interested he is in women. 242 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:43,675 Nice Arse. 243 00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:46,710 1957. 244 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:52,111 The Fifth Elephant. 245 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,037 Mm. 246 00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:57,038 I mean, look at them, they're all so... 247 00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:59,037 They're really... 248 00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:00,877 Samey. 249 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:02,717 (Whispers) Yeah. 250 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:04,279 Exactly. 251 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:07,791 (Marsha laughs) 252 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:13,834 (Slurred) So, what have you and Tim been rowing about? 253 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:17,190 - He says he wants to move out. - Oh, dear. 254 00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:19,356 Trouble in paradise. 255 00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:22,229 He says I was avoiding work. 256 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:24,914 - Well, are you? - No! 257 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:27,397 Yes. 258 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:29,874 Aah, don't worry, he'll come back. 259 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:34,277 - If he doesn't, are you gonna chuck me out? - No! 260 00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:36,750 I like having you here. 261 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:40,270 I feel like you've always lived here. 262 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:42,910 I hope you never leave. 263 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:48,080 (Echoes) Never leave... Never leave... Never leave... Never leave... 264 00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:51,992 ( Aswad: Don't Turn Around) 265 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:56,358 (Gasps) 266 00:15:56,760 --> 00:16:00,309 Sorry, Marsha, I think... I've got to get on with some work. 267 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,351 Oh, it's all right, kitten. 268 00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:05,437 I'm gonna go and have a lie down, I'm pissed. 269 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:07,838 Listen... 270 00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:11,350 you can tell your friend Twit she can have Brian. 271 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:15,188 His housing benefit's come through, anyway. 272 00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:18,349 - Good night. - Night. 273 00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:23,517 Right. You're coming with me. 274 00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:36,862 Ripped By mstoll Happy New Year 2015 - New Year, New Color ;-) 275 00:16:36,912 --> 00:16:41,462 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 21485

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