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ANNOUNCER:
In the last episode of Soap,
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00:00:04,571 --> 00:00:06,572
Carol told Jodieshe wanted to see the baby,
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00:00:06,573 --> 00:00:07,573
and after seeing the baby,
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00:00:07,574 --> 00:00:09,074
she told Jodieshe wanted the baby
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00:00:09,075 --> 00:00:11,076
and would take him to courtfor custody.
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00:00:11,077 --> 00:00:13,078
The doctor told Marythat she's pregnant,
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and then he told Burtthat he was going to die.
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00:00:15,582 --> 00:00:18,083
Although Mary told Burtshe's pregnant,
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Burt didn't tell Maryhe's going to die,
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00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:21,086
but he did tell Danny,
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00:00:21,087 --> 00:00:23,589
and then the doctor told Burthe had made a mistake
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and told him he wasn'tgoing to die after all.
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Mary,who's happy she's pregnant,
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is worriedthe baby might be an alien,
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00:00:29,596 --> 00:00:31,597
something she hasn't told Burt.
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00:00:31,598 --> 00:00:34,099
Danny and Polly told each otherthey loved each other,
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00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:36,101
and then they tolda real estate broker
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they wanted a house.
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The real estate brokertold them he had a nice house,
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but there was no telling
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how nice the neighbors would be.
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Chester told Jessica
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he was in lovewith the minister's daughter,
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and Jessica threw himout of the house
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and told him never to come back.
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Then Jessica got depressedand went to a psychiatrist,
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00:00:51,117 --> 00:00:53,118
who told hershe was perfectly normal
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and that he wanted to date her.
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Meanwhile,
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the minister's daughtertold Chester he was too old,
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and she left him.
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00:00:59,626 --> 00:01:01,627
Billy told Jessicahe was getting tired of Leslie,
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and Dutch told Eunicehe knew she was cheating,
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and Eunice told Dutchshe wouldn't do it again,
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then Dutch found a notetelling him
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that Eunice had run awaywith another man.
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00:01:09,135 --> 00:01:10,636
Dutch told Corinne,
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and Corinne told Dutch
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he was still welcomein the house.
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One thing led to another
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and Dutch and Corinnewound up in bed together,
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so there's no tellingwhat will happen.
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Confused?
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You won't beafter this episode of... Soap.
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This is story of two sisters,
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Jessica Tate...
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and Mary Campbell.
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These are the Tates.
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And these are the Campbells.
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And this is... Soap.
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What did you say?
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What did I just hear you say?
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Go on, say it...
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00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:34,220
Go on, say it to my face.
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Come on, you chicken-livered,
yellow-bellied... person.
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Go on,
I dare you to say it again.
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Go ahead.
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I thought that's what you said.
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You get out of town
while the getting's good,
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while you still got legs
to walk on.
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00:02:54,741 --> 00:02:55,741
Hey, Burt, can I play?
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00:02:55,742 --> 00:02:57,743
I'm not playing, Danny.
I'm practicing.
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For what?
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00:02:59,746 --> 00:03:01,246
Remember when I thought
I was dying?
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00:03:01,247 --> 00:03:02,247
Yeah.
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00:03:02,248 --> 00:03:03,248
Well, I realized then
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that I'd always had a really
kind of selfish life.
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I never really helped
my fellow man,
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and now that
I'm gonna live, Danny,
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I'm gonna change all that.
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I'm gonna make good on it.
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Dan...
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I'm gonna run for sheriff.
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You are?
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Burt, that's great!
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Wow. Hey!
Can I be your deputy?
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Let me be your deputy, Burt.
I'd be a great deputy.
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Come on,
let me be your deputy, Burt.
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Please. Please.
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Danny, a deputy's
gotta be trained.
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In what?
He's gotta be a cop.
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I need a real cop.
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I'll be one.
I'll go to cop school.
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00:03:34,781 --> 00:03:36,281
Oh, Burt, please,
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please.
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00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:38,784
Danny, I haven't
been elected yet.
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00:03:38,785 --> 00:03:40,786
Oh, you'll get elected.
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00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:42,287
People hate Sheriff Prentice.
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They spit on his car.
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00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:46,291
Prentice. Prentice. He's bad.
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He's a bad, corrupt man.
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He's been bad for Dunn's River,
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and we need
to clean up this town,
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and I intend to do it.
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00:03:51,297 --> 00:03:52,798
Let's practice.
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00:03:52,799 --> 00:03:53,799
You be a speeding driver.
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I'll catch you.
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00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:57,302
If I was a speeding driver,
you'd never catch me.
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00:03:57,303 --> 00:04:00,305
Pretend, Dan.
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I'm gonna pretend
to be a killer.
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00:04:01,808 --> 00:04:03,308
A speeding driver
who kills people.
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00:04:03,309 --> 00:04:05,811
All right, Danny, please.
Let's go. Come on. All right.
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00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:07,312
Now, you're tooling
down the highway,
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and I'm coming up
from behind you,
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and I'll stop you.
Ready?
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00:04:21,327 --> 00:04:22,828
Pull over!
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Damn.
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Now I'm gonna approach the car.
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Now, you gotta do this
very carefully
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because, you know,
more cops get killed
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approaching cars
then anywhere else.
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I mean, you gotta approach
it very carefully
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in case the guy is armed.
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The important thing here,
to be a moving target.
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What's the rush, big guy?
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Let me give you my license,
officer.
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Hey!
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Got you.
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I got you first.
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You did not.
You winged me.
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What do you mean, winged you?
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I killed you.
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I got you in the head.
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I got you in the heart!
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You did not!
I did too!
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Boys!
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Boys, if you cannot play nicely,
you'll have to play outside.
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Ma, he's gonna be sheriff.
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Burt's gonna be sheriff,
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00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:32,898
and I'm gonna be the deputy.
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After dinner.
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I don't think it's gonna happen
that fast.
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Mare. Mare, what Danny's
trying to say is...
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You ready for this?
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00:05:43,409 --> 00:05:45,911
I've decided to run for sheriff.
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Hello.
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00:05:53,859 --> 00:05:55,420
Sheriff, are you crazy?
What if you win?
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00:05:55,421 --> 00:05:57,422
Do you know
how dangerous that is?
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00:05:57,423 --> 00:05:58,924
You just got over almost dying.
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00:05:58,925 --> 00:05:59,925
You want to try again?
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00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:01,927
Well, maybe this time,
he'll get it right.
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00:06:01,928 --> 00:06:03,428
This time...
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00:06:03,429 --> 00:06:04,429
No, no, Mare, listen to me.
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00:06:04,430 --> 00:06:05,430
Mare, Mare, I'm talking about...
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00:06:05,431 --> 00:06:06,932
I wanna contribute to the world.
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00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:08,433
I wanna help my fellow man.
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00:06:08,434 --> 00:06:09,935
I wanna clean up this town.
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00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:12,938
This is not Dodge City, Burt.
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00:06:12,939 --> 00:06:15,942
You want to clean something up,
clean up the garage.
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Boy, I love that.
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"Clean up this town."
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You're starting to sound
like a sheriff already.
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Hey, listen,
can I be your deputy?
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Come on, let me be
your deputy, huh, Burt?
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00:06:27,954 --> 00:06:30,956
Hang on. No. I'm
gonna be the deputy.
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00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:32,958
Oh, come on, Burt,
I'd be a natural.
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00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:34,459
It's in my genes.
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00:06:34,460 --> 00:06:36,462
My uncle was a nightstick.
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00:06:37,964 --> 00:06:40,465
Burt, you're not seriously
going to do this.
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Yeah, Mare, what's the matter?
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There's nothing to worry about.
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Nothing to worry to about?
What if you get killed?
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00:06:45,972 --> 00:06:47,973
Mare, I'm not gonna get killed.
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Okay. Okay,
what experience have you had?
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What do you know
about being a sheriff?
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I know everything
I need to know.
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Mary, I got reflexes.
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Reflexes, guts,
and a will of iron.
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Yeah.
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00:07:02,488 --> 00:07:04,489
Mom, he'll make a great sheriff.
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00:07:04,490 --> 00:07:05,490
Look how good he looks.
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BURT: Yeah,
come on, please.
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00:07:07,493 --> 00:07:08,994
All right, just let me show you
my reflexes.
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00:07:08,995 --> 00:07:10,495
I got the reflexes of a snake.
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00:07:10,496 --> 00:07:12,998
Here. Danny, this is a knife.
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00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:14,499
We're going to pretend
this is a knife.
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00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:17,502
Now, Danny's gonna play
a mad, psychotic,
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00:07:17,503 --> 00:07:19,004
sick, demented killer.
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00:07:20,506 --> 00:07:22,007
He's going to come at me
with a knife,
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00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:24,509
I will disarm him,
and I will apprehend him.
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00:07:24,510 --> 00:07:25,510
Please watch.
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00:07:53,539 --> 00:07:55,040
Hi.
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Mm!
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00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:58,543
There you are.
Where have you been?
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00:07:58,544 --> 00:08:01,046
Jessica,
you'll swallow the cotton.
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00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:02,547
Mm? Oh...
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00:08:02,548 --> 00:08:04,549
Oh, Mary, I waited
and waited for you.
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00:08:04,550 --> 00:08:06,551
I had to go to the obstetrician.
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00:08:06,552 --> 00:08:09,054
I didn't want
to come in here without you.
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00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:10,555
I hid in the ladies' room,
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00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:14,059
and that pushy dental hygienist
came in and found me.
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00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:15,560
Did you have novocaine?
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00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:16,561
Yeah. You?
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00:08:17,563 --> 00:08:19,564
I asked to be put to sleep,
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00:08:19,565 --> 00:08:22,568
but he refused to do that
for just a cleaning.
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00:08:25,571 --> 00:08:28,073
What did the baby doctor say?
197
00:08:28,074 --> 00:08:30,075
Everything seems
to be just fine.
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00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:32,077
Oh, you see?
199
00:08:32,078 --> 00:08:34,579
Jessica, I could still
give birth to an alien.
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00:08:34,580 --> 00:08:35,580
There's no way of telling now.
201
00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:36,581
Have you told Burt yet?
202
00:08:36,582 --> 00:08:37,582
No.
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00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:39,584
Well, maybe he'll never know.
204
00:08:39,585 --> 00:08:42,087
If the baby comes out silver,
he'll know.
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00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:47,592
Probably.
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00:08:47,593 --> 00:08:50,095
What's happening with you
and that psychiatrist?
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00:08:50,096 --> 00:08:51,596
Oh, he's very nice, Mary.
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00:08:51,597 --> 00:08:53,598
He is very, very nice.
209
00:08:53,599 --> 00:08:55,100
Have you slept with him?
210
00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:57,102
Oh, no.
I'd be afraid to.
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00:08:57,103 --> 00:08:58,103
Why?
212
00:08:58,104 --> 00:08:59,604
Well, because, Mary,
he's a psychiatrist.
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00:08:59,605 --> 00:09:01,606
He's gotta be the greatest
lover in the world.
214
00:09:01,607 --> 00:09:03,108
They know everything about sex.
215
00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:05,110
They're the ones
that write those books.
216
00:09:05,111 --> 00:09:07,112
So, you see,
217
00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:08,613
I cannot sleep with him
218
00:09:08,614 --> 00:09:12,617
until I'm sure that I can do it
absolutely perfectly.
219
00:09:12,618 --> 00:09:15,120
There is no
absolutely perfectly.
220
00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:17,122
Well, there's very good.
221
00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:20,625
So I won't do it
until I know that I'm very good.
222
00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:22,627
Of course, I don't know
how in the world
223
00:09:22,628 --> 00:09:24,629
I'm going to get in
any practice.
224
00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:28,133
Oh, Jessica,
I'm sure you're very good.
225
00:09:28,134 --> 00:09:30,635
I don't know.
I mean, how can you tell?
226
00:09:30,636 --> 00:09:32,137
With tennis,
227
00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:36,641
I can look at Chris Evert,
and I know I'm not, but this...
228
00:09:36,642 --> 00:09:38,143
I'm beginning to get
a little numb.
229
00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:39,644
Mm... Me too.
230
00:09:39,645 --> 00:09:43,648
Mary... uh, did you ever...?
231
00:09:43,649 --> 00:09:45,150
I don't know how to put this.
232
00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:47,152
You know, sometimes
when you're at a party,
233
00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:48,653
and you're having an awful time,
234
00:09:48,654 --> 00:09:51,656
and you dance and laugh
like you're having a lot of fun.
235
00:09:51,657 --> 00:09:53,158
Do you ever do that in bed?
236
00:09:55,661 --> 00:09:57,662
Dance and laugh?
237
00:09:57,663 --> 00:09:59,664
No.
238
00:09:59,665 --> 00:10:00,665
You mean fake it?
239
00:10:00,666 --> 00:10:01,666
Shh!
240
00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:03,668
Is that what you mean?
Did I ever fake it?
241
00:10:03,669 --> 00:10:04,669
Yes.
242
00:10:04,670 --> 00:10:05,670
Did you?
243
00:10:05,671 --> 00:10:06,671
Maybe once.
244
00:10:06,672 --> 00:10:08,673
Oh.
245
00:10:08,674 --> 00:10:11,176
You?
Maybe once.
246
00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:13,178
The only time I do it
is when I'm tired,
247
00:10:13,179 --> 00:10:16,681
and I just want
to get him to stop.
248
00:10:16,682 --> 00:10:19,184
Well, once in a while,
249
00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:21,186
I have simply because I couldn't
250
00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:24,189
and I didn't want him
to think he was bad.
251
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:26,691
Of course that made it
more difficult later on
252
00:10:26,692 --> 00:10:27,692
when he continued to do
253
00:10:27,693 --> 00:10:31,196
what he thought
had worked so well before.
254
00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:36,701
Could I have a drink of water?
255
00:10:36,702 --> 00:10:37,702
Oh, yeah.
256
00:10:37,703 --> 00:10:39,705
Sure. Here.
257
00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:46,711
Oh, God.
Look what I've done.
258
00:10:46,712 --> 00:10:48,213
I have no feeling in my face.
259
00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:52,217
Oh, Mary, that's very funny.
260
00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:53,218
Look at you.
261
00:10:53,219 --> 00:10:55,720
You're crooked.
262
00:10:55,721 --> 00:10:58,223
You're laughing crooked.
263
00:10:58,224 --> 00:10:59,724
Don't make me laugh.
264
00:10:59,725 --> 00:11:01,727
Your mouth is going downhill.
265
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:05,730
Here, I'll get us some towels.
266
00:11:05,731 --> 00:11:08,733
I just love these gadgets.
267
00:11:08,734 --> 00:11:09,734
Look at this.
268
00:11:15,241 --> 00:11:18,243
I can see one nostril.
269
00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:20,245
I like the drill
that squirts water.
270
00:11:20,246 --> 00:11:22,247
I hate the drill.
271
00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:23,748
I hate this place.
272
00:11:23,749 --> 00:11:27,252
I'm leaving.
My teeth are fine.
273
00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:28,253
Jessica...
274
00:11:28,254 --> 00:11:30,255
No, he'll make me spit
in the bowl, Mary,
275
00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:31,756
and I can't spit in the bowl.
276
00:11:31,757 --> 00:11:32,757
It's so rude,
277
00:11:32,758 --> 00:11:34,759
and the one time
I tried to spit in the bowl,
278
00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:37,262
I missed it,
and I spit on his leg.
279
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:41,266
Goodbye, Mary.
280
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:42,767
Jessica, come on, now.
281
00:11:42,768 --> 00:11:44,769
You have been doing this
since we were children.
282
00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:46,771
It'll be okay.
283
00:11:46,772 --> 00:11:47,772
Really.
284
00:11:47,773 --> 00:11:49,274
I'll hold your hand.
285
00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:50,275
Come on.
286
00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:52,777
Okay, Mrs. Campbell,
we're ready for you.
287
00:11:52,778 --> 00:11:53,778
Oh, God. No.
288
00:11:53,779 --> 00:11:54,779
Oh, Mary.
289
00:11:54,780 --> 00:11:55,780
I can't.
290
00:11:55,781 --> 00:11:57,782
Of course you can, Mary.
291
00:11:57,783 --> 00:11:59,784
Come on, it's gonna be easy.
292
00:11:59,785 --> 00:12:02,287
Come on, I'll stay with you,
293
00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:04,289
and I'll hold your hand,
294
00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:09,294
and I'll... I'll
sing to you, Mary.
295
00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:10,795
You promise?
296
00:12:10,796 --> 00:12:12,297
I promise.
297
00:12:23,809 --> 00:12:25,310
And that's the whole story,
Mr. Mallu.
298
00:12:25,311 --> 00:12:27,312
She came back for the baby,
299
00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:29,314
and I came to you
because you're the best.
300
00:12:29,315 --> 00:12:30,315
I'm really up a tree.
301
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:32,317
Yup.
302
00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:34,319
Well, what do you suggest?
303
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,321
Build a tree house.
304
00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:37,822
Excuse me?
305
00:12:37,823 --> 00:12:40,825
Look, I've had it
with your family.
306
00:12:40,826 --> 00:12:43,328
I've never met such a bunch
of lunatics in my life.
307
00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:44,829
Hey, wait a minute.
308
00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:46,331
And the thing of it is,
309
00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:49,334
they're all
specialized lunatics.
310
00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:50,835
One guy plays with dolls.
311
00:12:50,836 --> 00:12:52,837
Another guy
thinks he's invisible.
312
00:12:52,838 --> 00:12:55,340
The old man is...
somewhere in the South Pacific.
313
00:12:56,842 --> 00:12:59,844
Plus, I fell in love
with your Aunt Jessica.
314
00:12:59,845 --> 00:13:01,346
Jessica, Jessica.
315
00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:02,847
My God, how is she?
316
00:13:02,848 --> 00:13:04,349
I take it
you're not gonna help me.
317
00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:06,351
The Lone Ranger
couldn't help you.
318
00:13:06,352 --> 00:13:08,853
Well, I'm sorry to take up
so much of your time.
319
00:13:08,854 --> 00:13:09,854
How is she?
320
00:13:09,855 --> 00:13:10,855
Who?
321
00:13:10,856 --> 00:13:11,856
Your Aunt Jessica.
322
00:13:11,857 --> 00:13:13,858
Are you gonna
take the case or not?
323
00:13:13,859 --> 00:13:15,860
She's the most beautiful,
exciting woman I've ever met.
324
00:13:15,861 --> 00:13:17,362
Mr. Mallu!
325
00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:18,363
I can't take the case.
326
00:13:18,364 --> 00:13:20,365
I don't do custody cases.
327
00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:21,866
The father rarely wins.
328
00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:23,868
I don't like to lose.
329
00:13:23,869 --> 00:13:27,372
My father said to me once,
"Hey, Ronald," he said,
330
00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:31,377
"Winning isn't everything,
but losing sucks."
331
00:13:36,882 --> 00:13:39,384
Mr. Mallu, this is not about
winning or losing.
332
00:13:39,385 --> 00:13:41,386
This is about
the fate of one child.
333
00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:42,887
That's good stuff.
334
00:13:42,888 --> 00:13:46,391
Your Honor, this case
isn't about winning or losing.
335
00:13:46,392 --> 00:13:47,892
It's about the fate
of one small child.
336
00:13:47,893 --> 00:13:50,395
I stuck in "small." It gives it
more impact. Good stuff.
337
00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:52,397
See, I'm a good father,
and she's a lousy mother.
338
00:13:52,398 --> 00:13:53,398
Doesn't matter.
She's the mother.
339
00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:54,899
You'll be laughed out of court.
340
00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:55,900
But that's my daughter!
341
00:13:55,901 --> 00:13:56,901
You're a homosexual!
342
00:13:56,902 --> 00:13:57,902
You're a coward!
343
00:13:57,903 --> 00:13:59,404
What?
344
00:13:59,405 --> 00:14:02,407
A lawyer is somebody
who protects and defends people.
345
00:14:02,408 --> 00:14:04,409
The only thing
you're interested in protecting
346
00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:05,910
is yourself.
347
00:14:05,911 --> 00:14:08,413
I need a lawyer, Mr. Mallu.
348
00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:09,415
Good day.
349
00:14:10,416 --> 00:14:11,917
It isn't gonna be easy.
350
00:14:13,419 --> 00:14:14,919
Does this mean
you change your mind?
351
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:16,421
Is there a law against that?
352
00:14:17,923 --> 00:14:19,424
There are a few things
I have to know.
353
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:20,425
Shoot.
354
00:14:20,426 --> 00:14:21,926
Tell me,
355
00:14:21,927 --> 00:14:25,430
is her hair still as red
as the Acapulco sunset?
356
00:14:25,431 --> 00:14:27,432
Who?
357
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:28,433
Forget it.
358
00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:29,434
Better I don't know.
359
00:14:29,435 --> 00:14:30,935
Is it?
Mr. Mallu!
360
00:14:30,936 --> 00:14:32,437
No, cancel it.
Never mind.
361
00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:35,440
We have to find a way
to discredit the child's mother.
362
00:14:35,441 --> 00:14:36,441
That won't be easy.
363
00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:38,443
Mr. Dallas, please.
364
00:14:38,444 --> 00:14:41,946
I've been discrediting people
since before you were born.
365
00:14:41,947 --> 00:14:43,448
All we have to do is show
366
00:14:43,449 --> 00:14:44,949
that the woman
associated herself
367
00:14:44,950 --> 00:14:45,990
with nefarious characters.
368
00:14:47,413 --> 00:14:48,453
Who was her last employer?
369
00:14:48,454 --> 00:14:50,455
You were.
370
00:14:50,456 --> 00:14:52,457
Carol David?
My former assistant?
371
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:53,458
That's her.
372
00:14:53,459 --> 00:14:58,963
This is a spider web
of intrigue.
373
00:14:58,964 --> 00:15:01,466
Twisted plots. High drama.
374
00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:02,967
We'll get the movie rights.
375
00:15:02,968 --> 00:15:04,969
Alan Alda can play me.
376
00:15:04,970 --> 00:15:06,471
Okay, okay.
377
00:15:06,472 --> 00:15:08,973
Let's see what we've got here.
378
00:15:08,974 --> 00:15:10,475
You are a, ahem,
379
00:15:10,476 --> 00:15:11,976
homosexual.
380
00:15:11,977 --> 00:15:12,977
And as I remember,
381
00:15:12,978 --> 00:15:14,479
you once tried
to commit suicide.
382
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:15,480
Does anyone know that?
383
00:15:15,481 --> 00:15:17,482
Carol.
Swell.
384
00:15:17,483 --> 00:15:19,484
It was right before
my sex-change operation...
385
00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:20,985
You used to be a woman?
386
00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:22,487
No, no, no. I didn't do it.
387
00:15:22,488 --> 00:15:23,988
Too bad.
388
00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:26,992
Two mothers
fighting over the same child?
389
00:15:28,994 --> 00:15:31,496
Talk about a movie.
390
00:15:31,497 --> 00:15:32,997
Okay, okay.
391
00:15:32,998 --> 00:15:35,500
Let me wade through this
and see what I come up with.
392
00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:37,502
If I need any more information,
I'll get in touch.
393
00:15:37,503 --> 00:15:39,505
You really think
we have a chance?
394
00:15:41,006 --> 00:15:42,507
If there's a crack
in the plaster,
395
00:15:42,508 --> 00:15:45,009
we'll knock down the wall.
396
00:15:45,010 --> 00:15:47,512
I'll be in touch.
397
00:15:49,014 --> 00:15:50,014
One more thing.
398
00:15:50,015 --> 00:15:51,015
Yeah?
399
00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:54,018
Does she ever... talk about me?
400
00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:55,019
Carol?
401
00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:57,021
Jessica.
Mr. Mallu!
402
00:15:57,022 --> 00:15:58,702
Forget it. Never mind.
I'll call you later.
403
00:16:01,026 --> 00:16:04,028
Thanks, Mr. Mallu.
I really appreciate this.
404
00:16:04,029 --> 00:16:06,531
This is the most important
thing in my life.
405
00:16:11,537 --> 00:16:15,541
Wanda, call my fianc?e
and cancel my marriage.
406
00:16:21,046 --> 00:16:24,549
Corinne, which scarf
do you think looks the best?
407
00:16:24,550 --> 00:16:26,551
Well, I don't know.
408
00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:28,052
Oh, they both look bad.
409
00:16:28,053 --> 00:16:29,554
Oh, Ma, you look lovely.
410
00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:31,055
Oh, Corinne,
411
00:16:31,056 --> 00:16:34,058
my psychiatrist
is coming to dinner,
412
00:16:34,059 --> 00:16:37,062
and I look
like an organ grinder.
413
00:16:40,566 --> 00:16:41,566
Hi.
414
00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:42,567
Hi.
415
00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:44,569
You look nice.
416
00:16:44,570 --> 00:16:46,070
I do?
417
00:16:46,071 --> 00:16:47,071
Yeah.
418
00:16:47,072 --> 00:16:49,074
Oh.
419
00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:53,097
Oh, here, taste the sauce
for the duck.
420
00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:56,581
How is it?
421
00:16:56,582 --> 00:16:57,582
Mmm, it's wonderful.
422
00:16:57,583 --> 00:16:59,083
It stinks.
423
00:16:59,084 --> 00:17:00,084
It's them apricots.
424
00:17:00,085 --> 00:17:01,586
One apricot too many,
425
00:17:01,587 --> 00:17:03,087
and the whole sauce
is down the soup.
426
00:17:05,090 --> 00:17:07,091
Oh, dear.
Oh, that's him.
427
00:17:07,092 --> 00:17:08,593
That's him. Oh...
428
00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:12,598
Oh, dear God, please
let everyone behave tonight.
429
00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:14,599
Hi.
430
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:15,600
Hi.
431
00:17:15,601 --> 00:17:16,601
Come in.
432
00:17:16,602 --> 00:17:18,102
This is Corinne.
433
00:17:18,103 --> 00:17:20,104
Hi.
Hi.
434
00:17:20,105 --> 00:17:22,106
And this is Dutch.
Hi.
435
00:17:22,107 --> 00:17:24,609
The sauce just bit the big one.
436
00:17:26,111 --> 00:17:27,111
Fine.
437
00:17:27,112 --> 00:17:28,613
Corinne is my daughter.
438
00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:30,114
I know.
439
00:17:30,115 --> 00:17:32,617
And Dutch is, uh...
440
00:17:32,618 --> 00:17:36,120
our friend.
441
00:17:36,121 --> 00:17:37,121
But don't get the wrong idea.
442
00:17:37,122 --> 00:17:38,623
Yeah, the other night,
that didn't mean nothing.
443
00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:41,626
He's right.
444
00:17:41,627 --> 00:17:43,629
Yeah, that wasn't
just wanton sex.
445
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:46,130
Excuse me.
446
00:17:46,131 --> 00:17:47,632
I gotta go baste my duck.
447
00:17:49,134 --> 00:17:52,136
Do you feel that
they're being foolish?
448
00:17:52,137 --> 00:17:53,638
Jessica, I don't have
the faintest idea
449
00:17:53,639 --> 00:17:55,139
what they're talking about.
450
00:17:55,140 --> 00:17:57,141
Thank you for your discretion.
451
00:18:02,147 --> 00:18:03,147
Yes?
452
00:18:03,148 --> 00:18:04,649
Excuse me.
453
00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:06,150
I'm the maitre d'
of the Tokyo Gardens.
454
00:18:06,151 --> 00:18:07,652
Is Mrs. Tate in?
455
00:18:07,653 --> 00:18:09,654
Why, yes.
456
00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:11,656
Mr. Teshamado,
please come in.
457
00:18:11,657 --> 00:18:12,657
Come in.
458
00:18:12,658 --> 00:18:15,159
What a surprise to see you.
459
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:16,661
Mrs. Tate,
I hate to be a bother,
460
00:18:16,662 --> 00:18:18,162
but I'm afraid he's at it again.
461
00:18:18,163 --> 00:18:19,664
Oh, dear.
462
00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:22,166
This time,
he took them all at once.
463
00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:23,167
The dishes are piling up.
464
00:18:23,168 --> 00:18:25,670
The place is in total chaos.
465
00:18:25,671 --> 00:18:29,173
Oh, I am so sorry,
Mr. Teshamado.
466
00:18:29,174 --> 00:18:33,177
Oh, Daddy!
Mr. Teshamado is here.
467
00:18:46,692 --> 00:18:49,193
Well, general,
I've got to hand it to you.
468
00:18:49,194 --> 00:18:50,194
They didn't tell me a thing.
469
00:18:50,195 --> 00:18:52,196
I shall expect a release
470
00:18:52,197 --> 00:18:55,700
of the same number
of my officers by 0600.
471
00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:58,203
Carry on.
472
00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:02,707
My father.
473
00:19:02,708 --> 00:19:04,208
I guessed.
474
00:19:05,210 --> 00:19:06,711
Oh, dear.
475
00:19:09,214 --> 00:19:12,216
Sayonara and tempura.
476
00:19:12,217 --> 00:19:13,217
Burt...
477
00:19:13,218 --> 00:19:14,719
Hey, Jess, what do you think?
478
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,220
Huh?
I knew you'd love it.
479
00:19:16,221 --> 00:19:18,222
It's like this. I got
a whole assortment here.
480
00:19:18,223 --> 00:19:19,223
What do you see?
481
00:19:19,224 --> 00:19:20,725
Hold the presses.
Take your pick.
482
00:19:20,726 --> 00:19:23,728
Take a gamble,
vote for Campbell. Huh?
483
00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:26,230
Wait a minute,
this is even better.
484
00:19:26,231 --> 00:19:28,232
I got more here.
Look at this one.
485
00:19:28,233 --> 00:19:31,736
Graft is dirty, vote for Burty.
486
00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:33,738
Huh? What do you think?
487
00:19:33,739 --> 00:19:35,239
Hi, stranger.
488
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:37,241
My name is Burt Campbell.
I'd never lie to you.
489
00:19:37,242 --> 00:19:38,743
I know I can count on your vote.
490
00:19:38,744 --> 00:19:40,244
That's it. Wait a minute.
491
00:19:40,245 --> 00:19:41,746
This is my most
favorite one of all.
492
00:19:41,747 --> 00:19:43,247
This is the one.
493
00:19:43,248 --> 00:19:46,751
Vote for Burt.
494
00:19:46,752 --> 00:19:49,253
Doesn't rhyme, but I think
it sort of says it all.
495
00:19:49,254 --> 00:19:51,756
I think the outfit
sort of says it all.
496
00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:53,758
Oh, I like you, stranger.
497
00:19:53,759 --> 00:19:55,760
Here, be my guest.
498
00:19:55,761 --> 00:19:56,761
Corinne, here.
499
00:19:56,762 --> 00:19:58,764
Jess. I'm on the trail.
500
00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:00,765
Leslie.
501
00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:02,266
Leslie?
502
00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:03,768
Leslie.
Leslie, the teacher.
503
00:20:03,769 --> 00:20:05,770
Magna Carta. Louisiana Purchase.
How you doing?
504
00:20:05,771 --> 00:20:06,771
Fine.
505
00:20:06,772 --> 00:20:08,272
Oh, here.
506
00:20:08,273 --> 00:20:09,273
Here's something
for your bumpers.
507
00:20:09,274 --> 00:20:10,775
Excuse me, I gotta go.
508
00:20:10,776 --> 00:20:12,276
My brother-in-law.
509
00:20:12,277 --> 00:20:14,278
Is Billy home?
510
00:20:14,279 --> 00:20:16,280
No, dear, I'm afraid he isn't.
511
00:20:16,281 --> 00:20:18,282
Oh.
512
00:20:18,283 --> 00:20:20,284
It's Billy's teacher.
513
00:20:20,285 --> 00:20:22,287
She's a little upset
because he's not home.
514
00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:27,792
She must get hysterical
when he's late for class.
515
00:20:27,793 --> 00:20:29,794
He's left me.
I just know it.
516
00:20:29,795 --> 00:20:31,295
Uh...
517
00:20:31,296 --> 00:20:33,798
Oh, Leslie, why don't you
just go upstairs
518
00:20:33,799 --> 00:20:35,299
and freshen up, dear,
519
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:36,801
and then you can join us
later for dinner.
520
00:20:36,802 --> 00:20:39,303
Oh, thank you.
521
00:20:39,304 --> 00:20:40,805
Jessica, is it always like this?
522
00:20:40,806 --> 00:20:43,308
Always like what?
523
00:20:46,311 --> 00:20:49,814
I think I should set up
an office here.
524
00:20:54,820 --> 00:20:55,821
Daddy...
525
00:20:56,822 --> 00:20:58,823
I'm back, Jess.
526
00:20:58,824 --> 00:21:01,325
Oh, God. I'm back.
527
00:21:01,326 --> 00:21:02,827
Chester...
528
00:21:02,828 --> 00:21:04,328
Before you say a word, Jess,
529
00:21:04,329 --> 00:21:06,831
I would like you to know
I've strayed,
530
00:21:06,832 --> 00:21:08,833
but I am back, Jess.
531
00:21:08,834 --> 00:21:10,334
I left her.
532
00:21:10,335 --> 00:21:11,335
I had to leave her.
533
00:21:11,336 --> 00:21:12,837
Broke her heart.
534
00:21:12,838 --> 00:21:14,839
She pleaded with me,
offered me money, new clothes,
535
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:16,841
but I pushed her aside, Jess.
536
00:21:16,842 --> 00:21:19,343
In short, I'm home.
537
00:21:21,346 --> 00:21:23,347
Chester, this is Alan Posner.
538
00:21:23,348 --> 00:21:24,348
Dr. Alan Posner.
539
00:21:24,349 --> 00:21:25,850
Ah...
540
00:21:25,851 --> 00:21:26,851
He's my date.
541
00:21:26,852 --> 00:21:28,352
But I live here.
542
00:21:28,353 --> 00:21:29,353
Not anymore.
543
00:21:29,354 --> 00:21:30,855
Does he?
Not yet.
544
00:21:39,364 --> 00:21:42,366
Chester, I told you
never to come here again.
545
00:21:42,367 --> 00:21:44,368
But I'm all right now, Jess.
546
00:21:44,369 --> 00:21:47,371
Really, you know the problem
that I had with... cheating.
547
00:21:47,372 --> 00:21:49,373
Well, I went to a clinic,
548
00:21:49,374 --> 00:21:52,877
and they told me it was
a simple allergic reaction.
549
00:21:52,878 --> 00:21:54,378
Bull.
Bull?
550
00:21:54,379 --> 00:21:57,882
Bull, and this man, Chester,
is a psychiatrist.
551
00:21:57,883 --> 00:21:59,383
Now, I want you to leave.
552
00:21:59,384 --> 00:22:01,385
You don't belong here anymore.
553
00:22:01,386 --> 00:22:06,390
Very well, Jess.
I'll go... if you wish.
554
00:22:06,391 --> 00:22:08,893
I'm going to get you back, Jess.
555
00:22:08,894 --> 00:22:11,896
I love you,
and I'm going to win you back.
556
00:22:11,897 --> 00:22:14,398
Hope you like
a good fight, my man,
557
00:22:14,399 --> 00:22:18,402
because I'm going to fight,
and I am going to win.
558
00:22:18,403 --> 00:22:21,405
Oh, Jess!
Please take me back!
559
00:22:21,406 --> 00:22:22,907
Chester, get up.
Get up.
560
00:22:22,908 --> 00:22:24,408
All right.
561
00:22:24,409 --> 00:22:27,411
All right, I'll leave,
but I shall return.
562
00:22:27,412 --> 00:22:29,413
I shall return.
563
00:22:29,414 --> 00:22:31,916
MAJOR:
Is MacArthur here?
564
00:22:34,419 --> 00:22:37,922
Dinner is served.
565
00:22:37,923 --> 00:22:40,424
You must think we're crazy.
566
00:22:40,425 --> 00:22:41,926
Oh, don't be silly.
567
00:22:41,927 --> 00:22:43,928
You mean you don't think
we're crazy?
568
00:22:43,929 --> 00:22:47,431
No. Eccentric maybe,
but crazy, no.
569
00:22:47,432 --> 00:22:49,934
Jessica, if there is anyone
crazy in this house, it's me.
570
00:22:49,935 --> 00:22:51,435
You?
571
00:22:51,436 --> 00:22:53,437
I've only known you for
a short amount of time, Jessica,
572
00:22:53,438 --> 00:22:55,439
and I think
I'm in love with you.
573
00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:56,941
Now, that's really crazy.
574
00:22:58,944 --> 00:23:02,947
I have been enamored of you
for quite some time.
575
00:23:02,948 --> 00:23:06,450
But out of respect,
I've admired you from afar.
576
00:23:06,451 --> 00:23:07,952
Oh...
577
00:23:07,953 --> 00:23:10,454
But what you've done
with our boys, wonderful.
578
00:23:10,455 --> 00:23:12,456
Can you believe this?
579
00:23:12,457 --> 00:23:14,959
Dinner with Eleanor Roosevelt.
580
00:23:27,073 --> 00:23:29,473
ANNOUNCER: What are the chances
of Mary having an alien baby?
581
00:23:29,474 --> 00:23:31,976
Would she be ableto find clothes in its size?
582
00:23:31,977 --> 00:23:33,477
Are Billy and Lesliereally through?
583
00:23:33,478 --> 00:23:35,479
How will this affect his grades?
584
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:37,982
Will Chester win Jessica backfrom the psychiatrist?
585
00:23:37,983 --> 00:23:39,984
Now that Mallu is backhandling Jodie's case,
586
00:23:39,985 --> 00:23:42,486
will he be backto handle Jessica as well?
587
00:23:42,487 --> 00:23:43,988
Will Burt be sheriff?
588
00:23:43,989 --> 00:23:45,990
If Burt is sheriff,will Danny be deputy?
589
00:23:45,991 --> 00:23:47,992
If Burt is sheriffand Danny is deputy,
590
00:23:47,993 --> 00:23:49,493
will Mary be mad?
591
00:23:49,494 --> 00:23:50,995
These questions and many otherswill be answered
592
00:23:50,996 --> 00:23:53,498
on the next episode of... Soap.
593
00:23:58,503 --> 00:24:01,005
Soap is videotapedbefore a studio audience.
594
00:24:01,055 --> 00:24:05,605
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