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ANNOUNCER:
In last week's episode of Soap,
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a surprised Corinne was bookedfor the murder of Peter Campbell.
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But this is nothing comparedto the surprise in store for her
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when she finds outthat a Swedish lady,Ingrid Svenson,
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has come from Ecuadorto pay Corinne a surprise visit,
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and has shown a surprisedChief Tinkler proof
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that she is Corinne's real mother.
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Surprised? You won't beafter this week's episode of Soap.
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[ ]
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This is the story of two sisters:
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Jessica Tate and Mary Campbell.
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These are the Tates.
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And these are the Campbells.
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And this is Soap.
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[ ]
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Oh, Ma. Daddy.
Oh, baby.
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Baby, the bail will be here any minute.
Oh, good.
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I cannot believe
these accommodations.
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Well, I mean, Chester,
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no wonder people are
always trying to break out of places like this.
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[GASPS]
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Chester, look at that.
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Would you look at that?
I see it, Jessica.
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It's a toilet.
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I know what it is.
It's right in the middle of the room.
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How do they expect
anybody to use that?
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Jessica, if you're
serving a 10-year sentence, eventually you'll have to.
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Look at this.
You poor child.
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Shut up in this cell
without any sunshine,
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hundreds of feet
below the earth.
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The chains of prisoners
clanking in the night.
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The musty smell
of the wet stones
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and the sound of scampering rats
across the floor at night.
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Jessica.
Huh?
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Corinne is in a Connecticut jail.
She's not the prisoner of Zenda.
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Corinne, I have
a surprise for you.
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Bail?
No, better.
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Corinne, Corinne, Corinne.
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Oh, my God.
Who is this?
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Corinne, Corinne, Corinne.
Who is this?
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Who are you?
Who am I?
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Yes, who are you?
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Ha!
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Who is this?
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Twenty-three years.
For 23 years, I've been in Ecuador.
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And for 23 years,
I've hated you.
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Jessica, who is this person?
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Look at her. Look at
what you've done.
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It wasn't bad enough
you took her away from me,
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but look at how you
brought her up, to be in jail.
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Oh, my God, it's her.
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Right. Thought you'd never
see me again, did you? Ha!
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Mother, who is this woman?
Darling, I am your mother.
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Oh.
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Sheriff, get her out of here.
She's nuts.
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She's got documents,
and she certainly knows your name.
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She says she's my mother.
She's not my mother.
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This is my mother.
Mother?
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Mother, for God's sake,
tell me who this is.
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Uh, Corinne,
this is Ingrid Svenson.
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Ingrid, this is Corinne.
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Corinne, Corinne, Corinne.
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She says she's my mother.
Yes, she did say that, didn't she?
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Well, who is she?
She is your mother.
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Who's my mother?
She's your mother.
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Which she?
That she.
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This she?
That she.
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Ingrid's my mother?
Yes, it's a long story, Corinne.
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Corinne, Corinne, Corinne.
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Why didn't you tell me?
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You never told me.
How could you not tell me?
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Well, we thought you'd never know.
I want you to go now.
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Corinne, we were trying
to protect you.
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I said, go.
Corinne, I love you.
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She wants you to go.
Does she have to spit at you?
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Corinne, if you had been
our own child, we couldn't have loved you any more.
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Sheriff, get them out of here.
Okay. It's time. Let's go.
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Come on, come on, come on.
Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.
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Ha!
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My little girl.
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Don't worry,
we'll get you out of here.
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I hired a detective,
and we get you out of here.
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And then we get a place together
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and get to know each other
all over again.
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Now, let Mother look
at how pretty you are.
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So, now, tell Mother,
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what have you been doing
the last 23 years?
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[ ]
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I said, quiet, Bob.
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[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
You be quiet. I'm happy for a change.
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Burt, what in the world is that?
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Peter's bathtub.
I got the rest outside.
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Boy, I've heard of souvenirs,
but that's ridiculous.
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Burt, what are you doing
with Peter's bathtub?
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Why not? Peter doesn't
need it anymore.
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In this tub is the answer.
I know it. It's here. It's here.
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The murderer left his trace
right in there.
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Or out there with
one of the other pieces.
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I thought you said
Corinne did it.
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[CHUCKLES]
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Not necessarily.
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Hey, everybody.
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Hey, listen, there's this huge chunk
of bathtub laying out in the path.
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Somebody could
kill themselves on it.
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Yeah, somebody already did.
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Danny, where's your disguise?
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Well, I don't think I'm
gonna need it anymore.
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I found somebody
who's gonna help me out.
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Ah. Too bad.
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[DOORBELL RINGS]
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Mrs. Campbell?
Yes?
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I am Heinrich Himmel,
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a private investigator
hired by Corinne Tate's mother.
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May I come in?
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Yes.
I think you should know
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that there is a broken
bathtub on your lawn, and it looks disgusting.
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Well, that's mine. I'll get it.
Halt!
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I didn't know Jessica
had hired a private detective.
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She didn't.
But you said...
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I said, Corinne Tate's mother.
Ingrid Svenson.
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Ingrid Svenson?
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Ingrid Svenson.
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BOB: Who's Ingrid Svenson?
Who's Ingrid Svenson?
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Quiet!
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00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:09,160
Enough with this
"Ingrid Svenson." Now, Mrs. Campbell,
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I have questions
and you will give answers.
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Make them brief,
no long, boring stories,
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which you Americans
seem so bent on telling.
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Who is this Ingrid Svenson?
What did I say?!
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What did you just hear me say?!
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I'll tell you later.
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Tell them now. They'll never shut up
if you don't tell them now, but quick.
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A quick, short story.
No details. Understand? No details.
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[SPEAKS IN GERMAN]
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Sit. Sit. Sit.
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Well, Jessica and I
had a brother, Randolph.
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You never told me
you had a brother.
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Shut up.
She's telling you now.
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00:07:49,314 --> 00:07:54,787
Uh, well, Randolph
took a liking to Ingrid, our Swedish maid.
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See, Ingrid didn't speak any
English, so she didn't know Randolph was peculiar.
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Details. Those are details.
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We don't care about "peculiar."
You are all peculiar.
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Anyway, Ingrid got pregnant
and had Corinne.
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Now, Mother wanted
the baby, so she very cleverly offered to babysit.
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And then she sent Ingrid
and Randolph to Ecuador...
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Details, more details.
Hup, hup, hup!
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She told the authorities
that Ingrid was an illegal alien,
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and that Randolph was seeking
to overthrow the government. So they had to stay in Ecuador,
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and Mother gave
Jessica the baby to be raised as a Tate.
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But why didn't they...?
No questions!
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That's it. Finished.
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I don't want to hear another word
about this idiotic business.
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Now, Mr. Campbell,
I understand that recently you consulted a psychiatrist.
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Did you consult him because
of your propensity for violence?
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That's none of your business.
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00:08:46,717 --> 00:08:48,674
You are wrong,
Mr. Campbell Dummkopf.
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It is very much my business.
Now, if you won't tell me why you saw him,
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I will have to assume
it was for help in controlling your violent tendencies.
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Well, it was not, you see.
It was because I...
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00:09:04,397 --> 00:09:07,276
Okay, violence.
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Impotence.
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Really?
Yeah.
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No kidding.
No, it's the truth.
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[LAUGHING]
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I love it.
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So classically American.
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A problem we never
have in Germany.
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No impotence, no smog...
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No Jews.
No...
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Impotence?
A big, robust guy like you?
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00:09:39,477 --> 00:09:43,312
I just wish I had a camera
for that one, Mr. Campbell.
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I could put you in jail
and throw away the key.
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00:09:47,197 --> 00:09:48,631
Now, then, Mrs. Campbell,
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how much did you resent,
hate and despise Peter Campbell?
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00:09:52,077 --> 00:09:55,195
What?
Just answer, please, the question.
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Good God. You people stall
like nobody's business.
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00:09:59,637 --> 00:10:02,027
I didn't hate him.
I never hated him.
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00:10:02,237 --> 00:10:05,867
Okay. Fine.
We have here denial, then.
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00:10:06,117 --> 00:10:08,552
Denial of the painful truth.
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00:10:09,157 --> 00:10:10,157
Now, Jodie...
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00:10:10,357 --> 00:10:13,111
That's not true.
I said, Jodie!
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00:10:13,317 --> 00:10:15,468
Are you Jodie?
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00:10:15,677 --> 00:10:18,397
Do you look like Jodie?
Do you talk like Jodie?
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00:10:18,597 --> 00:10:20,156
Sometimes they dress alike.
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00:10:24,277 --> 00:10:26,269
Please to put the toy away.
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00:10:26,797 --> 00:10:27,913
Who is he talking to?
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00:10:28,117 --> 00:10:29,238
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Just wait.
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00:10:29,277 --> 00:10:32,668
Now, Jodie, in your case it was
obviously a transference, hm?
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00:10:32,877 --> 00:10:35,472
A homosexual in love
with an athlete,
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00:10:35,677 --> 00:10:36,677
who spurned him.
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00:10:36,837 --> 00:10:40,194
Thus turning to rage
and then... murder.
192
00:10:41,637 --> 00:10:44,789
We have precedents for this
type of homosexual behaviour.
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00:10:44,997 --> 00:10:50,197
Not in Germany, of course.
We have no homosexuals in Germany.
194
00:10:50,397 --> 00:10:52,753
They are in Austria.
195
00:10:54,837 --> 00:10:56,066
Or Switzerland.
196
00:10:56,277 --> 00:10:58,428
Where in Switzerland?
197
00:11:01,117 --> 00:11:03,154
Now, Danny, this is an easy one.
198
00:11:03,357 --> 00:11:06,111
You work in
a violent society, hm?
199
00:11:06,317 --> 00:11:08,832
You would think nothing
of killing Peter, hm?
200
00:11:09,597 --> 00:11:10,951
No.
201
00:11:11,157 --> 00:11:15,151
And you, we know you
always hated your brother.
202
00:11:15,357 --> 00:11:17,553
I did not.
Because you were jealous of him.
203
00:11:17,757 --> 00:11:21,034
[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
Oh, go back to Argentina, Adolf.
204
00:11:22,517 --> 00:11:26,147
He was an athlete,
and you, Chuck? You're a klutz.
205
00:11:26,357 --> 00:11:30,397
He had many women.
You? You got yourself a hunk of bark.
206
00:11:31,077 --> 00:11:32,272
Now, listen...
207
00:11:39,077 --> 00:11:41,228
So you killed him.
He did not.
208
00:11:41,437 --> 00:11:43,827
Because he reminded you
of what you weren't...
209
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,551
He didn't do it,
he didn't do it.
210
00:11:45,757 --> 00:11:48,636
Of what you aren't,
of what you could never be.
211
00:11:48,837 --> 00:11:51,068
Hey, who do you think...?
Shut up!
212
00:11:53,637 --> 00:11:56,311
I don't want to hear
another word from you.
213
00:11:58,397 --> 00:12:01,708
This stupidity
has wasted my time.
214
00:12:05,237 --> 00:12:08,787
I will file my report.
You will all stay in town.
215
00:12:08,997 --> 00:12:14,470
I hope I never again have
to see any of you as long as I live, hm? Goodbye.
216
00:12:17,557 --> 00:12:20,789
Nice, warm guy.
I like him.
217
00:12:21,037 --> 00:12:22,994
[ ]
218
00:12:29,157 --> 00:12:31,114
[ ]
219
00:12:32,637 --> 00:12:35,311
So it's all my fault,
Mary. All of it.
220
00:12:35,517 --> 00:12:39,397
Peter's death, Corinne's arrest,
Ingrid's arrival, it's all my fault.
221
00:12:39,597 --> 00:12:42,635
Jessica, don't be silly. None of that
has anything to do with you.
222
00:12:42,837 --> 00:12:46,228
No? Wherever I am, Mary,
there's death and destruction.
223
00:12:46,437 --> 00:12:49,316
It's always been that way.
Jessica, that's not true.
224
00:12:49,517 --> 00:12:52,032
You remember Mr. Rolo
and what happened to him?
225
00:12:52,277 --> 00:12:54,234
Mr. Rolo?
Yes, you remember.
226
00:12:54,437 --> 00:12:57,717
The clown that used to
entertain at all of our birthday parties when we were little.
227
00:12:58,197 --> 00:13:01,156
Mr. Rolo.
228
00:13:01,877 --> 00:13:04,711
Oh, Jessica, do you
remember Mr. Rolo?
229
00:13:04,917 --> 00:13:08,384
Well, Mary, obviously I do,
I just brought him up.
230
00:13:08,385 --> 00:13:10,980
I loved Mr. Rolo.
231
00:13:11,225 --> 00:13:13,182
And you remember
how at my birthday party,
232
00:13:13,385 --> 00:13:15,980
he just keeled over
and dropped dead on the spot?
233
00:13:18,141 --> 00:13:21,213
Hi, Mare.
Hello, darling.
234
00:13:21,461 --> 00:13:24,295
Hi, Jess.
Hi, Burt.
235
00:13:29,461 --> 00:13:30,736
Oh, Burt!
What?
236
00:13:30,941 --> 00:13:32,694
What are you doing?
Nothing.
237
00:13:32,901 --> 00:13:37,054
Burt, you just pulled
a hair out from my head.
238
00:13:37,261 --> 00:13:38,900
No, I didn't.
239
00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:46,250
I'm not finished.
240
00:13:46,821 --> 00:13:49,290
That your spoon?
Yes.
241
00:13:51,221 --> 00:13:53,975
Perhaps he'd like some tea.
242
00:13:55,261 --> 00:13:58,618
My goodness! What are you doing?
Nothing.
243
00:13:58,821 --> 00:14:00,813
Burt, you pulled a hair
out of my head.
244
00:14:01,021 --> 00:14:03,855
And I just saw you pull one
out of Jessica's head.
245
00:14:04,061 --> 00:14:06,132
More than one, I'm afraid.
246
00:14:06,381 --> 00:14:09,931
Well, you see, I'm just conducting
a test, Mary. Conducting a test.
247
00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:13,657
You see, I found a hair
in Peter's bathtub.
248
00:14:13,901 --> 00:14:17,258
A hair in his tub.
249
00:14:17,501 --> 00:14:20,619
Well, of course, of course,
it's a bathtub.
250
00:14:20,821 --> 00:14:23,211
There are always hairs
in the bathtub.
251
00:14:23,421 --> 00:14:26,061
It's such a problem. Hair.
252
00:14:26,261 --> 00:14:30,574
Oh, it just clogs up the drain,
and then the plumber has to come and remove it.
253
00:14:30,781 --> 00:14:34,491
Have you ever seen
what they remove, Burt? Oh, it's so disgusting.
254
00:14:36,741 --> 00:14:38,494
It's no wonder
they charge so much.
255
00:14:38,701 --> 00:14:43,776
I'd charge a fortune too,
if I had to look at hairy hunks of gloop all day.
256
00:14:44,501 --> 00:14:45,571
"Gloop."
257
00:14:45,781 --> 00:14:47,818
[ALL CHUCKLING]
258
00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:49,774
"Gloop."
259
00:14:51,941 --> 00:14:57,892
Well, it just might be a hairy hunk
of gloop that hangs one of you.
260
00:15:03,941 --> 00:15:06,900
[ ]
261
00:15:13,021 --> 00:15:16,651
Chester, I just realised
something very important.
262
00:15:17,101 --> 00:15:18,101
What, Jessica?
263
00:15:18,261 --> 00:15:19,695
[DOORBELL RINGS]
264
00:15:21,661 --> 00:15:23,778
You want me to get that?
265
00:15:28,021 --> 00:15:29,091
Would you mind?
266
00:15:36,021 --> 00:15:38,058
What did you realise, Jessica?
267
00:15:38,261 --> 00:15:40,821
Ten years ago,
this could never have happened.
268
00:15:41,421 --> 00:15:44,619
What?
Peter was a tennis teacher.
269
00:15:44,821 --> 00:15:48,053
Yes.
Ten years ago, nobody played tennis.
270
00:15:48,261 --> 00:15:52,813
The recent popularity of tennis
has ruined our lives.
271
00:15:53,421 --> 00:15:57,301
He always comes at meal times.
The guy's a raccoon.
272
00:15:58,501 --> 00:16:02,131
I'm sorry to bother you.
Tinkler, what do you want?
273
00:16:02,341 --> 00:16:05,300
Well, first I'd like to introduce
Investigator Rick Himmel.
274
00:16:05,501 --> 00:16:07,732
Not Rick, you fool.
Heinrich. Heinrich!
275
00:16:07,941 --> 00:16:10,251
Are you a foreigner?
276
00:16:13,101 --> 00:16:14,101
He's German.
277
00:16:14,461 --> 00:16:16,453
German?
278
00:16:22,541 --> 00:16:27,058
Good work, corporal.
Capturing them isn't easy.
279
00:16:27,861 --> 00:16:28,897
Carry on.
280
00:16:32,981 --> 00:16:38,261
Tinkler, do you want something,
or is this a Lufthansa tour?
281
00:16:38,461 --> 00:16:40,612
[LAUGHING]
282
00:16:41,221 --> 00:16:43,690
Well, I would like to
look through the house.
283
00:16:43,901 --> 00:16:46,461
What? I've had
enough, Tinkler.
284
00:16:46,661 --> 00:16:49,051
I've had enough of you.
This is my house.
285
00:16:49,261 --> 00:16:53,494
Get out of here, once and for all,
before I call the police.
286
00:16:56,901 --> 00:16:58,130
I am the police.
287
00:16:58,341 --> 00:17:00,537
As difficult as
that is to believe.
288
00:17:00,741 --> 00:17:04,291
I have a search warrant.
And while I am looking through your house,
289
00:17:04,501 --> 00:17:06,413
Rick here has some
questions he wants to ask.
290
00:17:06,621 --> 00:17:09,295
Heinrich! Heinrich, you fool.
291
00:17:09,501 --> 00:17:11,970
Now, you are Eunice, I presume?
292
00:17:12,181 --> 00:17:13,456
Mm-hm.
293
00:17:13,661 --> 00:17:15,141
You like to fool people,
don't you?
294
00:17:15,341 --> 00:17:16,341
What do you mean?
295
00:17:16,541 --> 00:17:19,978
Oh, pretending to be cold,
that you don't go out.
296
00:17:20,181 --> 00:17:22,218
When we both know
that you're involved with...
297
00:17:22,421 --> 00:17:24,458
Oh, please.
298
00:17:25,661 --> 00:17:29,860
Fortunately for you,
you are a fooler, not a murderer.
299
00:17:30,061 --> 00:17:32,496
Do you find it difficult
talking with a German accent?
300
00:17:35,461 --> 00:17:39,171
Because it seems like it
would be exhausting the way you pronounce words so hard.
301
00:17:39,381 --> 00:17:43,011
I mean, sometimes you even
spit a little when you talk.
302
00:17:43,701 --> 00:17:45,454
Talk? Talk?
303
00:17:45,661 --> 00:17:48,972
They can put matches
under my nails, I'll never talk.
304
00:17:49,181 --> 00:17:50,410
So never talk!
305
00:17:50,621 --> 00:17:53,136
I don't care about
your talking. Never talk.
306
00:17:53,621 --> 00:17:55,738
I won't.
307
00:17:56,981 --> 00:17:59,212
Good, don't.
308
00:17:59,421 --> 00:18:01,652
I won't.
309
00:18:02,341 --> 00:18:06,699
I swear, I don't know how
you people won the war.
310
00:18:08,101 --> 00:18:13,335
I never saw such a nation
of utter fools, except in Italy.
311
00:18:15,621 --> 00:18:20,252
But they, of course, can cook.
You people, you can't even do that.
312
00:18:20,461 --> 00:18:23,101
There. There you did it.
When you said "that," you spit a little.
313
00:18:23,301 --> 00:18:27,181
You did. I felt it
on my cheek.
314
00:18:30,261 --> 00:18:34,175
And you, oh,
you are my favourite, hm?
315
00:18:34,381 --> 00:18:35,381
[CHUCKLES]
316
00:18:35,581 --> 00:18:41,054
Boy, oh, boy, I gotta hand it
to you. You are something.
317
00:18:41,261 --> 00:18:43,014
Boy, are you a busy guy.
318
00:18:44,981 --> 00:18:48,019
There's that pigeon, huh?
And then that secretary.
319
00:18:48,221 --> 00:18:49,894
I admire you.
320
00:18:50,101 --> 00:18:53,572
If you committed the murder,
you should get away with it.
321
00:18:55,901 --> 00:18:57,494
Thank you.
322
00:18:58,181 --> 00:18:59,695
You.
323
00:19:00,141 --> 00:19:02,531
You are the black
servant, Benson.
324
00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:06,572
No, I am Japanese
houseboy, Mojo.
325
00:19:08,661 --> 00:19:09,981
Halt!
326
00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:15,258
You could have killed Peter, hm?
327
00:19:15,461 --> 00:19:18,340
Because you were jealous.
328
00:19:18,981 --> 00:19:24,454
He was white. You are black.
He had women, youth, freedom.
329
00:19:24,661 --> 00:19:28,416
You? You've got an apron
and maybe a decent timestep.
330
00:19:30,661 --> 00:19:34,860
Now, let me tell you something,
you little Nazi shrimp.
331
00:19:35,661 --> 00:19:37,971
Now, you can talk to them
any way you want to,
332
00:19:38,181 --> 00:19:40,332
but now you're
talking to me, Benson,
333
00:19:40,541 --> 00:19:45,218
and I personally have
had it with your shouting and bullying and spitting.
334
00:19:45,421 --> 00:19:50,052
Nobody here killed
anyone, not yet.
335
00:19:51,981 --> 00:19:53,734
Bravo, Benson.
336
00:19:58,021 --> 00:20:02,015
Sorry about that, folks.
There will be no dessert tonight.
337
00:20:03,181 --> 00:20:07,061
Well, folks, I've got some
good news and some bad news.
338
00:20:11,341 --> 00:20:14,413
Is that strawberry shortcake?
Yes.
339
00:20:14,621 --> 00:20:17,375
Oh, boy, do I love
strawberry shortcake.
340
00:20:17,581 --> 00:20:19,015
Tinkler?
Oh, yeah.
341
00:20:19,261 --> 00:20:21,821
Well, the charges against
Corinne have been dropped. That's the good news.
342
00:20:22,021 --> 00:20:24,581
Oh, Chester, isn't it wonderful?
343
00:20:25,741 --> 00:20:27,221
Now for the bad news.
344
00:20:27,421 --> 00:20:29,299
Couldn't we just
forget about that?
345
00:20:29,501 --> 00:20:32,016
On my little search
through your house,
346
00:20:32,221 --> 00:20:34,417
I found the gun that
shot Peter Campbell.
347
00:20:34,941 --> 00:20:37,297
I found the knife that
stabbed Peter Campbell.
348
00:20:38,261 --> 00:20:42,096
And I found the brick
that hit Peter Campbell.
349
00:20:43,381 --> 00:20:45,213
Now, the gun was found
in your drawer.
350
00:20:45,421 --> 00:20:47,572
The knife was found
in your jewellery box.
351
00:20:47,781 --> 00:20:49,738
And the brick was found
in your rose garden.
352
00:20:49,941 --> 00:20:54,220
Mrs. Tate, you are under arrest
for the murder of Peter Campbell.
353
00:20:54,741 --> 00:20:56,619
[ ]
354
00:21:03,821 --> 00:21:06,131
ANNOUNCER:
Will Corinne ever forgiveJessica and Chester
355
00:21:06,341 --> 00:21:08,333
for not telling hershe was adopted?
356
00:21:08,541 --> 00:21:11,340
Will the court acceptBurt's findings as evidence,
357
00:21:11,541 --> 00:21:14,136
or will the judge rule it "hair-say"?
358
00:21:14,341 --> 00:21:16,651
Did Jessica kill Peter Campbell,
359
00:21:16,861 --> 00:21:19,581
or does she merelycollect murder weapons?
360
00:21:19,781 --> 00:21:24,139
Will the Tates do without dessert,or will they eat Heinrich's pants?
361
00:21:24,341 --> 00:21:26,697
These questions and many otherswill be answered
362
00:21:26,901 --> 00:21:29,735
on next week's episode of Soap.
363
00:21:29,941 --> 00:21:32,058
[ ]
364
00:21:36,101 --> 00:21:37,774
[ ]
365
00:21:37,981 --> 00:21:41,531
Soap was videotapedin front of a studio audience.
366
00:21:41,581 --> 00:21:46,131
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