All language subtitles for Soap s01e06.eng

[

ANNOUNCER:
This is the story of two sisters. Jessica Tate and Mary Campbell.

Jessica lives in a neighbourhood
known as rich.

Jessica likes life.

The only thing about life
she would change if she could

is that she would
set it all to music.

The Tates have more secrets
than they do money.

We're approaching
Mary Campbell's house.

Mary, too, likes life.

Unfortunately, life doesn't seem to be
too crazy about her.

As you can see,
the Campbell's don't have

nearly as much money
as the Tates.

They do, however,
have as many secrets.

[

ANNOUNCER:
In last week's episode of Soap:

Danny once again tried to kill Burt,
but couldn't.

Corinne tried to talk
Father Timothy Flotsky

into leaving the church
and going with her, but couldn't.

Unable to have the only man
she ever wanted

Corinne decided to go ahead
and move in with Peter.

Meanwhile,
Jessica was telling Peter

she could never see him again.

Corinne walked in
and found her mother kissing Peter.

Little did she know
her mother was kissing him off.

Corinne, unable to have Father Tim

the man she wants,
can't live with him

and finding the man she has
with her mother, can't live at home.

And since she has to
live somewhere

she decides
to move in with Peter anyway.

Confused?

You won't be
after this week's episode of Soap.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

All right, Billy. Enough is enough.
Two days locked up in your room

because Molly
broke up with you is plenty.

But I can't go back.
I can't face the kids.

What do you plan to do
with your life?

I don't know.
Join the circus and become a clown.

And all because of some little girl?

She's not some little girl.
We were going steady.

Then she left me for a junior.

Well, why don't you fight for her?
Win her back.

Dad, come on.
I can't compete.

He's 6'1" and drives a convertible.

I'm a midget with a Schwinn.

Well, what is she,
the only girl in the world?

Billy, do you know
how many girls there are out there?

They're all over the place.

Thousands, millions of them,

Beautiful, wonderful,
glorious, volup... Lots of girls.

Yeah, but I want Molly.

That's only because
you can't have Molly.

Billy, let me tell you a story.

During the war,
this guy Herbie and I became friends.

Well, Herbie fell in love
with a wonderful Italian girl, Carla.

Thinking of Carla
was what got him through the war.

Well, Carla died,
and Herbie nearly fell apart.

He stayed in, drank.

I've never seen anyone
so miserable.

And then one day
Herbie came to me and he said:

"Chet, life must go on."

And Herbie went on.

A few years later,
he fell in love with another woman,

married her, and
they went to Jamaica on their honeymoon,

and she ran off with
a steel band.

But Herbie went on.

He married again,
and this time, at the wedding reception,

his bride left him
for the caterer.

But still, Herbie went on.

His next wife
ran off with his partner,

who ran off with his business.
But still, Herbie went on.

Because you see, Billy,

he knew that there's
a whole world out there.

He knew that somewhere,
around some corner,

he would find happiness.

Wow. I feel like a jerk.

I mean, look at Herbie,
a lifetime of disasters.

I had a week with
a 13-year-old shrimp who lisps

and I'm gonna throw my life away?

Thanks, Dad.

Good boy.
I'll see you at breakfast.

Hey, Dad, where's Herbie now?

Oh, he's, uh,
in a mental institution.

What?

Yes. He just sits in a corner,

talks in numbers
and makes lovely baskets.

But...

I thought...

Well, I thought he always goes on?

Well, Billy, please.
There's just so much going on that a man can do.

[

Are you going to tell Mr. Tate
that Corinne is moving in with Peter?

Because if you are,

that's two places
I won't have to set no more.

No, Benson,
only one place, Corinne's.

Two. Because when
Mr. Tate finds out, it's gonna kill him.

Good morning.
Good morning.

JESSICA:
Good morning, Chester.

Benson.

I asked for
a three-minute egg.

That is a
three-minute egg.

This egg is raw.

Well, what did you expect
when you ask for an egg in three minutes?

I got to get it out
of the refrigerator,

get it onto a plate,
get it all the way in here.

You want it cooked,
then you gotta give me 10 minutes.

I have an announcement to make.

Uh...

Corinne is not here.

I think that
we can see that, Jessica.

Well, yes, of course
you can, Chester, because her seat is empty.

Where is she?
Corinne

is moving.
Moving? Where?

Where? Where
is she moving?

Oh, Chester, that is
a good question. Corinne is moving into an apartment

that she's gonna share
with someone.

Oh, well, I'm not surprised.
Not yet.

I'm sure she's at an age
when she wants to be on her own.

And she's going to have
a roommate? Yes, dear.

Good. I really don't want her
living alone.

Do we know the girl's family?

Yes, yes, we do. We know
the family really quite well.

As a matter of fact,
we're almost related.

Good. Good. Who is it?

Billy, run upstairs
and get Mother something.

Why can't anybody ever talk
in front of me?

I mean, I walk into a room
and conversation stops.

I went around for years

thinking a surprise party
was being planned for me.

Well, I'm not leaving, Mom.
I'm not missing this.

Jessica, who is the girl?

What girl, Chester?

The girl Corinne will be living with.

The girl? Oh, the girl.
Oh, look, here's Corinne.

I told Daddy
that you were moving, dear.

Who is she moving in with?

And Daddy thinks that's nice.
Isn't that nice, dear?

Things are so much nicer

when people think they're nice.
Don't you think so? I think so.

You didn't tell him
who I was moving in with?

No.

I'm moving in with Peter.

Peter, Peter, pumpkin
eater, had a wife and couldn't keep her

Put her in a pumpkin shell,

[BOTH CHANTING]
and there he kept her very well

Oh. I love that one.
Don't you, Daddy?

[JESSICA GIGGLING]

Corinne, what are you saying?

Say...

[SINGING "SAY IT ISN'T SO"]

All right, stop!

[SINGING "STOP!
IN THE NAME OF LOVE"]

Shut up, Benson.

[CONTINUES SINGING]

All right, Corinne, one more time.

[SINGING "SAY IT ISN'T SO"]

I said, I'm moving in with Peter.

Peter. Who's Peter?

Peter Campbell, the tennis pro.

That's it?
That's the big thing?

I thought it would be
something good.

Um... I'm sorry, Daddy.

Goodbye.

Goodbye, Major.
Yeah, all right.

Goodbye, Benson.

Corinne, if you need
anything, you call me, okay?

Yeah.

But don't bring
your laundry around here, because I ain't gonna do it.

That's it?
You're just going to sit there

while our daughter
throws her life away?

Well, Chester,
I don't know what else to do.

Get her back.
How?

Well, you'd better
think of something, Jessica

because my blood pressure's
already red-lined it.

All I have to do is stand up,
and I will have a cerebral haemorrhage on the spot.

Simon says, "Stand up."

[

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

What's going on, Corinne?

Nothing.
Nothing? You're upstairs packing,

Mother's downstairs
crying, and nothing's going on?

I don't want to talk about it.
You know, it's funny, Corinne.

All these years I couldn't
wait for one of us to move out of the house

and now you are

and I'm kind of sad.

It's better this way.
Well, tell me, Corinne.

I can't.
Are you in love?

Eunice, I can't talk about it.
You wouldn't understand.

I would understand.

I'm in love.

You're in love?

But you never go out.

Who are you in love with,
United Parcel?

Corinne, you're just gonna
have to take my word for it.

I can't tell you who it is.
It's very complicated.

Complicated, please,
you don't know from complicated.

Believe me, if you knew
who was involved in my situation, you'd faint.

If you knew who
was involved in mine, you'd drop dead.

All right, Corinne.
All right.

I happen to be in love
with a public figure.

Peanuts.

A married...
A married public figure.

Zip.

All right, Corinne.

I'm in love

with Congressman
Walter McCallam. Hmph.

Top that.
I could.

But I can't tell you.

Well, I knew
you couldn't. Mine's bigger.

Oh, yeah?
Yeah.

A married congressman?
Right.

How do you like this one?

I'm moving in
with Peter Campbell

[SCOFFS THEN CHUCKLES]

who's also having
an affair with Mother.

[LAUGHING]

Corinne, you're
not allowed to lie.

It's the truth.

Mother?

Our mother?

The mother downstairs?

Jessica?

The redhead?
That's the one.

You win.

I can't believe it.

I mean, it took me
20 years to believe

she did it with Daddy.

Oh, isn't this nice.

Oh, I just love this.

All the Tate women
are gathered here together.

Well, you two probably
have a lot to talk about.

Yes.
No.

Uh, you two have
a lot not to talk about,

in which case I'll still leave.

Corinne.

You know, Corinne,

in life, people make mistakes.

Little mistakes
and big mistakes.

And I made a big mistake.

Well, actually, I made
a huge mistake and I am sorry. I...

You have no idea
how terribly sorry I am.

But you see,
I thought if I told you

what a mistake I had made,
and how sorry I was,

that it would make
everything all right.

But, uh,

now that I'm hearing it,
I realise that it's just not enough.

And I guess it probably
won't be enough

for a long time to come.

But I still want to say it.

I am sorry.

I'm a mother

and I know you...

You think I should have
known better.

But Corinne,

knowing better
doesn't always work out.

So I'm sorry.

But I guess I'm...

I'm sorry about
a lot of things in my life.

But most of all,

I'm sorry for what's happened
between us.

I'm going to miss you.

[CRYING]

Goodbye, Corinne.

[

[

I've ruined my marriage

I've ruined my life,
Corinne's left home

and it's all because
I took tennis lessons.

Okay, Jess.

Let's just take one thing
at a time. What happened, from the beginning?

Well, it all started
two months ago

when Chester gave me
a tennis racket.

I don't know why
he gave me a tennis racket.

I never said I wanted one.

I may have mentioned
I wanted a Cuisinart

but I never once
mentioned that I wanted a tennis racket.

Oh, Mary, have you
got a Cuisinart? They are wonderful.

You can just throw your
knives away. You'll never have to chop food again.

What happened, Jess?

When I first got mine,
all the food turned to mush...

Jessica. What happened?

Oh, well... Well,
Chester gave me this tennis racket

and I didn't want to appear
ungrateful, Mary.

So I had to take tennis lessons.

And because
I took tennis lessons, I met Peter.

And because I met Peter,

[WHISPERING] I slept with him.

Because I slept with him,

[IN NORMAL VOICE]
now Chester's probably gonna find out.

And when Chester finds out,
my entire life is gonna be ruined.

And it's all because
Chester gave me a tennis racket.

This is actually Chester's fault.

Mary? Mary, Mary,
have I got news. I just got this cable at work.

My son, Chuck,
is coming here from Hawaii.

Burt, this is signed
"Chuck and Bob." Who's Bob?

Oh, it's nobody.

Well, he's obviously
somebody, Burt

because he's coming
and he doesn't eat meat.

Who doesn't eat meat?
Bob.

Who's Bob?
I don't know.

Somebody who's
coming with Chuck.

Who's Chuck?
Burt's son. Who's Bob?

I don't even know
who Chuck is. Who's Bob?

It's a dummy.

Burt, I didn't ask you for his IQ,
I asked you who he was.

A dummy.

Well, your son Peter's
no genius, either.

Where's Peter?
He's a dummy.

But he's sweet, Burt.

No, no, no, Bob.
Bob's a dummy. You know, a little wooden doll.

A wooden doll?

Let me get this straight.
Your son, Chuck, is coming here from Hawaii

with Bob,
his little wooden doll.

Right.

And you thought I had
problems? Come on, come on.

I got him Bob
when he was a little kid.

Bob?
Bob, yeah.

Well, yeah, see, we don't
refer to him as a dummy

because it kind of upsets Chuck.

Not to mention driving Bob
completely crazy.

No, now, he's had Bob all his life.
He took him everywhere.

He took him to school, to camp,
into the Army...

He took a doll into the Army?

At least he could get into
the Army.

Special services, Vietnam.
They entertained the troops.

I'm sure they did.

Hey, hey, hey.
He won a medal.

Who? Chuck or Bob?

Chuck.

Mary, I have to go now.

I have to go and see
what new disaster's befallen me.

Well, goodbye, Burt.

I am so happy that
two more of your sons are coming.

One son.
The other's a dummy.

Well, smart or dumb,
they're your children

and you love them.

[

[SPEAKING IN LATIN]

Tim?

[CONTINUES SPEAKING
IN LATIN]

I had to come, Tim.
I had to see you one last time.

I moved in with that man
I told you about.

But I had to see you
once more and tell you how I feel.

I love you, Tim.

I know it's crazy to want you.

I mean, people would say,
"Why him? Why Tim?

He's not that terrific-looking."

I mean, you're cute,
Tim, but face it, you're no Al Pacino.

And who knows what
your body is like under that outfit.

Look at you, you go around
wearing a little black dress.

But I still want you.

Tim, please?

I'll leave him.
Come with me.

I know you want to.

If you left,
God would understand.

He's seen a lot.
He's millions of years old.

What do you think there is
that he hasn't seen?

No, huh?

Tim, could you stop
praying for just a minute?

It's making me kind of crazy.

Okay, fine.

It doesn't matter,
you won't drown me out.

You're gonna hear this
before I leave forever.

I will stay with this man, Tim,
but I will always think of you.

When he takes me in his arms,
I'll pretend it's you.

And when he
whispers my name, I'll pretend it's you.

And when I'm with him,
I'll pretend it's you.

So that's it, Tim.

All the praying
in the world will not stop me from loving you.

Goodbye, Tim.

I love you.

Father Tim?
Father Tim.

Take it easy.

God is not deaf.

[

Godfather?

GODFATHER:
Over here, Danny. Over here.

Godfather?
Ah. Here I am, Danny.

Danny, I'm in the middle
of a catastrophe.

This is my only
healthy tomato plant.

Look.

[MUTTERING]

You know what this is here?
Uh-uh.

Tomato bugs.

These bugs live
for only one thing in life:

Destroying tomato plants.

Hey, nice work, huh?

Aye. What I want to know
is this:

In the middle of the
largest city in the world,

where there is no agriculture
to speak of, on the roof of a 20-storey building,

how they know
there's tomatoes here, huh?

I don't know.
Eh.

Hey, maybe there was
a couple of bugs on a farm somewhere in the Midwest,

and one bug said
to the other bug:

"Hey, let's go see
what's doing in Manhattan, huh?"

[LAUGHING]

That's not funny, Danny.

These tomatoes are dying.

These tomato plants are dying
and I can't save them.

Oh, Danny, I've been reading
the obituaries the last few days

and I look, and I look,
and never do I see the name of Burt Campbell.

And I ask myself,
"Hey, why don't I see this name?"

Well, uh,

it's because he's not dead yet.

Ah. Well, that certainly
clears up the mystery, eh?

I was thinking that probably was it.
Yeah, that was it.

What are you waiting for,
Danny, huh? He should die of old age?

Godfather, I just don't know
how to do it.

You don't have
to be an engineer, Danny.

You take the gun. You point it.
You pull the trigger.

Be nice if he was in the room.

So, Danny, you be
a nice boy, huh? You go home and kill Burt.

Godfather, I just can't do it.
Look, I know you said in order for me to leave

I had to do you a favour.
Yeah.

Okay, but couldn't you give me
something else to do?

Oh, my. What did you
have in mind, Danny? You wanna clean out my garage?

You wanna simonise the limousine?
A deal's a deal, Danny.

Besides, it's out of my hands now.

I'm sorry. Mr. Lefkowitz
wants it done.

Well, couldn't I talk to Mr. Lefkowitz?

No way. Please, Danny.

Lefkowitz talks to nobody, nobody.

Mr. Lefkowitz doesn't even talk
to Mrs. Lefkowitz.

First of all, you can't
pry him away from his cockamamie stamp collecti...

Godfather,
I can't do it. I just can't do it.

All right, Danny.
You listen to me now, eh?

Come over here.
This is your last chance.

You take this key.

This is a key to a
remote cabin in the woods

where, in the next two days,
you will kill Burt.

You invite him to go fishing
with you... Fishing?

Well, if you tell him
the real reason

I don't think
he's gonna wanna go, eh?

All right. In the cabin,
there's a fireplace.

In the chimney
of the fireplace, there's a gun.

The body,
you just leave there, and we'll take care of it.

Danny? Wait.

You're such a
handsome boy, nice-looking, you know.

I don't want to see
your body in Brooklyn,

your face in the Bronx.
That would upset me.

Godfather, I just can't do it.

GODFATHER:
You just destroyed my only healthy tomato plant.

And you seriously injured
my doorman.

I think you can kill Burt.

[

[

ANNOUNCER:
Will Corinne find happiness with Peter?

Will Jessica find happiness
without Peter?

Will Corinne find happiness
without Father Tim?

Will Father Tim find happiness,

or will Corinne drive him crazy?

Will Danny invite Burt
to the woods to kill him?

Will Burt's other son, Chuck,

and his little wooden doll, Bob,
arrive from Hawaii?

And if they do,
will Burt live to see them?

These questions and many others

will be answered on
next week's episode of Soap.

[

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