All language subtitles for Sledge Hammer s02e15 Sledge Rattle n Roll.eng

Trust me. I know what I'm doing.

No pictures, no autographs.
Out of the way!

Get out of my way... you... sods!

Get a life!

Oh, look, he's totally rad.

Oh, good, he spit on me.

He hit me on the chin!
God, you're so lucky!

Hello, love.

Get out. I haven't got time for you tonight.

Get moving.

Now, you twit!

We're going the wrong way.

You... bloody... idiot!

You're going the wrong way,
you... stupid... wanker!

Great, now you're stopping.

Why are you stopping, you... fooI?

You... imbecile!

You... You!

Why are you driving me?

I thought I told you to get out of my life.

What a bummer.

Get your picture taken with a dead rock star.

Step right up. Gimme the money later.

OK, stay in line. One at a time.

One at a time. BeautifuI. He's really dead.

Get your picture taken with a dead rock star.

- Don't push, he's not going anywhere.
- OK, get rid of these lookie-loos.

- Step right up...
- What's going on here?

- Why don't you go dig up Elvis?
- I tried. Do you want a picture?

- The party's over. Everyone move on.
- Get in line if you want a picture.

Let's try a little crowd controI.

- Sledge, do you know who this is?
- No.

I'm flattered,
but I don't know every dead body.

No. This is Rak Vulture, he's a very big star.

Not any more.

He was in that heavy metaI band,
The Plague.

Hey, this is the heavy metaI
that made America great, Doreau.

According to the powder burns
around this wound,

I'd say he was shot at close range.

Could've been by the driver.

Yeah, or anybody else in his right mind.

Look at this, he's got a dog tag.

"If I'm lost or brutally murdered,

"return me to Jerry Vicuna,
Electrocution Records. "

- Must be his producer.
- Rock.

I'm gonna get to the bottom of this,
Doreau, and you know why?

Because this rock scene
makes me puke.

You know what's responsible

for the moraI degeneration
of American youth?

Rock.

Crime in the streets? Rock.

You look under any rock,
you know what you find? Rock.

Let's find Vicuna.

Maybe I can catch him with incriminating
evidence and blow him away.

- Then we'll clear the court calendar.
- Oh, Sledge.

- We're the police.
- You'll have to change your name.

There's already a group
called The Police.

We're police officers.
We're here to see Mr Vicuna.

You can't. He's in mourning.

He'll be in mourning for himself
if he doesn't see us.

Boy, you are the police. Second floor.

What the hell is going on?

You tell me.
I thought you were in mourning.

I am. She's comforting me
in my hour of need. Who are you two?

We're detectives. We're here to ask you
about Rak Vulture's murder.

- Oh, I...
- Gina, shut up.

Go in the corner and look gorgeous.

All right.

What do you wanna know
about Rak? Like, who'd wanna kill him?

- For starters.
- Anyone would wanna kill Rak.

He was an animaI, plain and simple.

He once punched Mother Teresa
in the mouth.

- That's terrible.
- Nothing compared with this.

I'm throwing a little dinner party.

Rak comes over, uninvited, of course.

He beats up half the guests,
insults my wife and kids,

he kills the dog, skins the cat,

and ruins my entire art collection.

- What did you do?
- I told him, "Knock it off. "

All right, I'm tired
of your fond reminiscences, paI.

That satanic noise you pawn off as music

feeds on the minds of our young people,

causing them to grow their hair,
smoke funny cigarettes,

and stay home all day
watching that... that... NBC.

- MTV.
- Don't confuse me!

Now, I want some answers.
Answers, music man.

Hey, man, unhand me.

I'm a saint in this business.
Now, listen,

I hate this noise too,
but I'm a businessman.

I have to make a buck.

I've been on this case two hours
and already I feeI grimy.

Well, I've been
in the business 12 years.

I've told you all I know.

If you want more, talk to the boys
in the band. They're downstairs rehearsing.

- Thanks. Let's go, Sledge.
- Here's my card,

if you think of anything else.

"Shirley's Ammo Dump.
50% off with the card. "!

I forgot, I don't have cards.

Thank you.

Gina, sweetie, if you're going to dance,
turn on the music.

I find her very attractive.

Are they just tuning up?

We're not tuning up, you buffoon.
That was our new single.

Rusty, make yourself usefuI,
get me more coffee.

- Put a live snake in it.
- One with a cobra.

Yeah, get me one too.
More coffee, on the double.

I'm Inspector Hammer,
this is my partner, Dori Doreau.

We're here to investigate
Rak Vulture's murder.

Well, first of all, would you
like to strip-search me?

Yeah, me too. You've got
great legs for a chick cop.

I'd love to do time with you, baby.

I see, it's gonna be like this.

- You wanna handle this?
- All right, vermin.

Just because my partner is attractive,
it's no reason to hassle her, you got it?

Thanks, Sledge, that helped a lot.

I'm a gentleman, Doreau, first and foremost.

Now, listen up, you dirty,
filthy, fouI-mouthed scum...

You ever thought about writing Iyrics?

Yeah, how's this?

I'm tired of your degenerate fun

So you better tell me what you've done

Or I'll blow you away with my gun

That was pretty good.

Coffee... time.

Thank you, Rusty. Now, shine me boots.

Your boots, man, I've already shined them.

Not the insides.

That's terrible.
Why do you treat him like that?

Because they're rock musicians.
They eat their young.

- Now, talk.
- OK!

What do you want to know
about that snake, Vulture?

- You didn't like him?
- We hated him.

- Yeah, we hated the guy.
- He was a glory hog.

One time he gave us
wrong directions to the concert hall,

so he could perform alone.

Don't forget when he went on Nightline

and told Ted KoppeI
we sold illegaI arms to Iran.

- That's right.
- He treated us like fools.

You are fools.

But that's no excuse
for that type of behaviour.

- Zippy, do a sound check.
- Righto, Rocket.

That sounded great.

Where were you the night of Rak's murder?

You don't think
we could kill anybody, do you?

Yeah. Now, why'd you do it?

We didn't do it, but maybe
his mum did, cos she hated him too.

If you're not going to bust us,
constable, get out,

we've got to rehearse.

We're going on a memoriaI tour for Rak.

We've even written a song
in his memory. We'll play it for you.

- They have compassion after all.
- One, two, one, two, three, four!

The King is dead, yeah

Someone killed Rak

The King is dead, yeah

They should have shot him in the back

Oh, Rak, Rak, Rak, back, back, back

Oh, Rak, Rak, Rak, back, back, back...

Now, that's entertainment.

Excuse me,
as part of the procedure before you leave,

I'd like to show you my bikini.

- Why would I wanna see that?
- I don't know.

No one's ever asked me that before.

Hammer, whatever it is, the answer's no.

- I haven't asked anything yet.
- Well, you were going to.

- What is it?
- You'll just say no.

- Hammer, what do you want?
- Doreau wants me to ask you for warrants

so I can arrest the rest of
that slime-sucking rock band.

Hammer, I don't believe my ears.

You, Sledge,
"Warrants are for wimps",

want to arrest someone
with proper procedure?

What is a warrant?

A warrant is permission to make an arrest.

Permission! These sleazoids
are just about to leave

on an escape from jurisdiction tour.

When? How soon?

Sledge, their plane just took off.

Well, soon.

'The three remaining members
of heavy metaI band, The Plague,

'are off on their 16-city Fatality Tour

'in memory of their murdered
lead singer, Rak Vulture.

'We now cut live
to the scene of their departure. '

Remind me never to use their traveI agent.

'This is terrible. It appears
that their plane has crashed.

'Gory details at 11.'

Well, you can forget the warrants.

We don't need warrants, habeas corpus.

Shut up, will you?

These people have been hurt.
Wow, look at that.

This must be a devastating day for you.

- My deepest condolences.
- It was my bloody plane.

Oh... you're referring
to the loss of human life.

Yeah, that hurts too... I guess.

Mind you, they were only technically human.

What're you crying for, paI?

- They treated you like trash.
- I know.

It was the best job... I ever... had.

Why weren't you on the plane?

Oh, they made me... hitch... hike.

Have you got any idea what happened?

Yeah. The plane... crashed.

Essentially, that's the long and short of it.

We won't know what happened
untiI we see the black box.

Isn't that it?

Oh, is that what this is?

I was strictly keeping it
as a memento of my employers.

Gimme that.

Come on, let's take this back to the precinct

before the FAA gets their P-A-W-S on it.

Sledge, I don't think we should,

because the FAA is very sticky
about this kind of stuff.

It always gets there after you do.

It's harder to open than Al Capone's vault.

Sledge, there's a proper way to open it.

I think you're right.

Hammer! How many times have I told you
not to shoot that damn thing in my office?

- Including this time?
- Yes!

Mm, a lot. Too many to count.

This is what I meant.

- Anybody could've done that.
- Let's turn it on.

They won't be laughing in a minute.

Shut up.

Sledge, have some reverence,
they were human beings.

No, they were rock stars.

'And I'd like to make hot monkey love

'to that sexy little bobby, Detective Doreau. '

May they rot in hell!

'What the hell's going on here?'

'The bloody pilot just
jumped out of the bloomin' plane!'

'I'm too young to die.
I haven't even been to Europe. '

'You're from Europe, you pinhead. '

'I'm so scared, I forgot. '

Well... what do you think?

It was better than their last album,

and it wasn't an accident, it was murder.

A- a-a-men

- Where's The Plague?
- Get out of it!

- Where's The Plague?
- Go on!

Come on, sweetheart, get in here.

Wait a minute, wait a minute,

I don't remember inviting you two in here.

That's OK, I don't stand on ceremony.

- Who was the pilot of that plane?
- I think they got some new guy. Why?

Because he jumped out
of the plane and let it crash.

Doesn't that strike you as odd?

If you were in a plane with
those maniacs, wouldn't you jump too?

He's got a point.

Your lack of remorse is detestable.

Is it because record sales increase
after an artist's death?

On the first account, Detective,
they were not artists,

and on the second, their fans are
so wigged out, they don't know they're dead.

I know you'll cash in on record royalties

now that those bozos are extinct.

Now, listen, I don't like where this is going.

All royalties go to their next of kin.

That is, if anybody admits
to being their next of kin.

- Can you prove that?
- Yeah.

Look, I'm a businessman.
I have initialled contracts. Stop this car.

Now, get out. I have
an important meeting at the office

with the next Rak Vulture.

Pardon me, miss, but will you marry me?

- Get out!
- Sledge!

And here, so there's no hard feelings.

Well, just what I expected
from a sleazebag like that.

That we'd get nothing out of him?

No, that he didn't give us
compact discs.

Let's see what we got going here.

Born Fried.

Look at this.

Stranglers In The Night.

Hey, keep it down up there.

Hey, do you mind, people?
I'm just spinning a few records.

- Well, cooI it.
- Inconsiderate.

Well, if we can't shoot 'em,
may as well listen to one.

Stuff on there.

.. while we valour...

I've heard better noises
when Majoy had indigestion.

Maybe it sounds better backwards.

'I've been cheated. '

What is this?

'These are my songs.

'You'll pay for it.

'All of you will pay. '

All right, amigo, let's go find out

which looney tune
wrote these looney tunes.

- What do you expect to find?
- Some cold, hard facts.

And a cold hard body.

Vicuna's dead. Boy, there are a lot
of back-stabbers in the record business.

Whoever wrote those songs killed Vicuna.

I'm gonna check those files -
see who those royalties are really going to.

They're not here. Any on the desk?

No, I don't see any...

Wait. Here it is.

- Take a look at it.
- He won't let go.

It's a contract. Managers, huh?

Come on.

- Let's try this.
- Sledge, don't do that!

Just because he's dead,
doesn't mean I can't have fun.

- He's dead.
- I know. I just...

Come on.

- Just... read it.
- All right.

"Party of the first part... of the second part...
fiduciary responsibility...

"In case of death,
all money should be awarded to...

"Russell Canterbury,
aka Rusty Vulture. "

Rusty, that roadie's name
is Rusty. He's Rak's brother!

You may be onto something. Let's go find
that heavy metaI mentaI case.

- Excuse us, miss.
- Have you seen Rusty lately?

Maybe.

Well, maybe this'll improve your memory.

No, it doesn't, but thank you.

Sledge, look!

Come on.

Sounds like
you're a little rusty... Rusty.

I haven't been playing much.
I've been very busy, mate.

Murder's a full-time job.

Murder? I... don't know
what you're talking about, ma'am.

Your own brother stole your songs,

he got rich and famous and he met girls.

- Does that ring a bell?
- Oh, I admit it.

I wrote the songs that put
my brother on top of the charts,

but then the boys in the band, Jerry Vicuna,

they promised me a bright future,

but... they wanted to rip me off as well.

So you killed them too.

Please, mate, let me...
give my own confession.

Now posing as the pilot was easy to do

I just brought the plane up
to a high altitude

Then you got a parachute
and jumped out the door

I left those jerks screaming
and hugging the floor

And now they're dead, you see
You killed all three

And now with Jerry Vicuna,
I had to get creative

So you stabbed him in the back
Oh, I love feeling elated

Now you've got a record,
five counts of murder one

I don't think two more counts
should bother anyone

That might've been his first hit.

You just fired the shot
heard round the world.

- Who're you talking to?
- No, nobody.

I was just looking over here.

Hammer, once again,
I have orders to reprimand you.

I couldn't be in trouble -
my gun's been in the shop a week.

I just got it out. Wanna hear?
Sounds like new.

- Put it away.
- It does impressions.

- Put it away!
- It can do a. 38, a. 45 and a. 22.

It doesn't like the. 22, that's just a little pop.

Put it away!

Look at this. Rusty Vulture
cut a record from prison.

Let me see that. I must've been
the inspiration for this song.

- Why is that?
- It's Number One With A Bullet.

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