All language subtitles for Silicon Valley s02e06 Homicide.eng

(applause)

Pardon me, is that seat taken?

(laughs) Oh, Gavin.

Man: Classic Gavin.

- Let's hope this sucks.
- Oh, good. Monica made it just in time.

Carla, looks like you won't be the
only woman in the house for a change.

Christ. One thing worse than
being the only woman in a company

- is being one of only two.
- Why's that?

Everybody puts this super-weird
pressure on you to be friends.

- It's creepy.
- Hey, did I miss it?

- No.
- Good.

Monica, I'd like to introduce you to Carla.

Carla, Monica.

Monica, Carla.

- What's up?
- Nice to meet you.

I knew you two would hit it off.

Hey. Monica?

It's starting.

Announcer: Tonight,
for the first time ever,

streaming live in 4K
resolution over the internet,

UFC Fight Night, powered by Nucleus!

No networks. No more
middleman. No bullshit.

We're bringing the fights
straight to the fans.

We're cutting the cord forever with
UFC Fight Pass, powered by Nucleus.

Tonight, you'll get ultimate
fighting at the ultimate resolution.

Nucleus puts 4K UHD video

in a lossless compression chokehold

and forces the competition to tap out.

- (grunts)
- (glass shattering)

Oh! (laughs)

- What a Douchebag
- He sure likes to break stuff.

Announcer: We are live in Las Vegas.

The picture looks amazing.

Announcer: Man, Joe, this is a
fight we've been looking forward to

for a long, long time.

Are we getting a contact high off Erlich,

or is the edge starting to warble?

No, I see it. Are they
converting down to 24 frames?

Announcer: The defense so far. Wow!

The jerkiness is not
a Nucleus issue, right?

I mean, it's not going out
to the world like that, is it?

I think it looks great.

You see that frame
judder as the camera pans?

The picture's so blocky.
It looks like Minecraft.

It doesn't make sense, it's
supposed to be totally lossless.

Let me dump their bit stream
to disk and take a look.

She's really smart.

But not afraid to be bawdy.

- Oh, my God.
- They are so fucked.

Yeah, this is bad.

- (crowd cheering)
- Announcer: Attack with the left!

He's hurt! He's down!

He's hit! Oh!

It's frozen.

It's frozen.

Announcer: It is all over!

Unbelievable!

I have never, in all my
years of watching fighting,

seen a finishing
combination more ferocious!

What a spectacular finish by Molina!

We're being told that
the Nucleus live stream--

- Fuck!
- ...may have cut out during that exchange.

If that is true, what a travesty.

Gavin: Fuck!

(theme song plays)

sync and corrected by Caio
www.addic7ed.com

Gavin Belson just shit everyone's pants.

He sure did. The encoding is totally
underpowered to cover up their defects.

Nucleus just can't keep
up with 4K live stream yet.

Hey. Could Pied Piper handle live 4K video?

I could deploy a live video stream that
would be way better than theirs right now.

Jump on it. Now. Like,
do our own live stream.

Partner with someone like Gavin did.

Look at you two.

Hold on. Live streaming's not
really our primary business here.

Yeah, but beating Nucleus
is. The blogs would go nuts.

We're built for it on my end.

If it's just me hosting
seeds and manifests,

- I'm good on my end.
- I'm prepared to brag about it

and release publicity.

Well, peer-to-peer delivery is
good to go here. Let me know.

Oh, Carla, do you want to
show Monica your work station?

- No, thanks.
- (laughs)

Okay, but Hooli had a deal with
UFC that would stream a fight.

What do we even do? Don't
really have a lot of time here.

That's real.

We could find an event
that's already in motion.

Can I make a suggestion? There is
a nesting pair of California condors

on the closed-circuit feed
at the Natural History Museum.

There's an egg in the nest
right now. It's very compelling.

Why don't we just live
stream me killing you?

I wouldn't be so dismissive.
There was a live stream

of an eagle's nest last
year that went viral,

and was getting millions of hits.

And I don't wanna be inflammatory,

but next to a condor, an eagle
looks like a... common cackling.

Fuck that, Jared. I've got it.

I'm very good friends with Aaron Anderson.

Double-A? The guy who
owns Homicide Energy Drink?

Uh, is Homicide the extra
douchey energy drink?

It sure is. There's a bunch of
stunts and crazy shit on here.

The video player quality is
terrible. It's a perfect candidate.

And Double-A loves me.
He'd definitely hook us up.

How do you know him?

From college. He was a
sophomore when I was a senior.

He and his roommates used
to live down the hall.

I used to party in their room all the time.

Uh, kind of a mentor-mentee sort of thing.

Coming from a manatee sort of thing.

You look like a ferret that gave up
on himself six months ago, Gilfoyle.

- I'm going to ping
Double-A. - Wait...

What if he says yes? You know?

Are we really gonna drop
everything to do this?

What if we don't get it right?

I mean, it could hurt us
just like it hurt them.

Shit. I don't know.

This is critical, Richard. Maybe
we should SWOT this decision.

I don't know what that is, but no.

- SWOT analysis.
- No.

S-W-O-T?
No?

Holy cow.

Did he really just say "holy cow"?

I've had a board ready
for just such an occasion.

I've booby-trapped the house
with corporate resources.

SWOT is a way of evaluating a decision.

And you just break it
down into "strengths,"

"weaknesses,"
"opportunities," and "threats."

- You're fucking joking.
- Not at all.

You can SWOT a concept, a
department, or a new initiative.

You can even SWOT a person,
although you have to be careful.

They might SWOT you back.

- I wanna SWOT you.
- Well, you can.

Because now you have the tools.

Okay. Um, shout them out
and I'll tack them up.

Jared, I'm really sorry,
but I... I have to go.

You know, would it make more
sense if I worked something up

and then I got back to you guys?

And... okay, great. I'm on it.

"People love condors."

"Strengths."

Man: On top of the roof,

Blaine is gonna launch off this ramp.

It's pretty gnarly.

Everything goes right,
he'll fly over this street

and land on this 15-story building here.

We've got 27 cameras, a couple in the car.

Feed a live edit back
here to the data center.

We put everything through your
incredible compression, Richard,

and up onto the web.

So, what do you think, Richard?

I think this is awesome, Double-A.

I mean, it is incredible.

You really have built a
giant monument to awesomeness.

I think my aid in helping you
achieve this is what inspired me

to start my own incubator.

Uh, so, Richard, you ready for this?

Oh, yeah. I think so. Yeah, uh...

Double-A, we are psyched.

And, uh, we can do whatever you need.

- Okay, thanks Kool-Aid. - Kool-Aid?
What's that? Are you Kool-Aid?

Yeah, it's just a term of endearment.

You know, nickname, I used
to rock it back in the day

'cause I was cool and supportive.

Yeah. Oh, hey, guys, this is Gina,
she's one of our event managers.

Hey, uh, Gina, can you take Dinesh and
Gilfoyle to the data center, please?

Sure. You wanna follow me?

Only if we get hats, Gina.

You can just take mine.

Did you see that? She gave me her hat.

Pretend you've seen a woman before.

Are those Homicide drinks for free?

Yeah. Knock yourself out.

Homicide!

Is there any way that it could
be maybe more like just...

You and me talking, and not Erlich?

What do you mean? Aren't you guys
friends? I thought you go way back.

We do. But...

To be honest, I could never stand the guy.

I mean, just hearing his
voice again is giving me PTSD.

Right. But you just called him cool.

No, I called him Kool-Aid. We all did.

Right.

Because he's like the
Kool-Aid pitcher from the ads.

As in, every fucking time we
were hanging out without him,

he'd come smashing through a wall.

But you still hung out with him.

Yeah, 'cause we were 19,

and he had weed and beer.

But even drunk and high I couldn't take it.

I mean, it's like he's fucking allergic

to letting other people talk.

It's like he's always gotta
say something. You know?

Erlich: Hey, Richard.

Homicide!

(laughs)

So, Dinesh, I have a question.
You're obviously Pakistani,

but the name Dinesh is Indian, isn't it?

Yeah. Wow, that's... exactly right.

You know, most people, ignorant people,

don't even know those are
two separate countries.

And they don't care either.

How do you know about my name?

I'm an Army brat. My dad was
stationed in Karachi when I was a kid.

It was a beautiful place.
Full of beautiful people.

Kind of like this room, right?

(laughs) Oh, hold on a
sec. I'll be right back.

- Oh, don't take too long.
- Ew.

This is awesome. I don't
know if it's what's in this,

but I have, like, all these
killer lines coming to me.

I'm on fucking fire right
now. Oh! She likes me, right?

Yeah, she's totally into you.

Just not as into you as she
is into that guy's mouth.

He's definitely gonna fuck her later,
and she's not gonna think of you

while it's happening.

Goddamn it. Fuck.

Now I'm just shaking. What
do they put in this shit?

Milk thistle?

Hey, guys! Come out here!

Juliet calls.

Guys, this is Blaine. He's
the guy doing the stunt.

Blaine, these are the genius coders
who are helping us with the live stream.

- They're rock stars.
- Okay.

So this is the car you're jumping?

Yes, it is.

And that's what your
ramp's gonna look like?

- Yeah.
- Cool. Well, have you...

Yeah, and because I know
that you're gonna ask,

yes, I've done this before.
And yes, it's fucking dangerous.

Listen, I got a lot of work
to do to get this right.

Okay?

Okay.

Hey, you see what I saw?

Yes, uh, he's got the
velocity calculated wrong.

It's for a flat plane.

He doesn't account for
the curve in the ramp.

Exactly. He's probably used
to doing straight ramps.

I mean, the chart says he's
gonna launch at 81 miles per hour,

- but it's going to be
more like-- - Under 70.

The downforce is ridiculous.

He's gonna lose speed and
hit the side of that wall.

And die. So we should probably...

Okay. All right.

Hey, uh, Blaine?

- One small thing.
- Blaine: No.

I'm gonna stop you right there, Glasses.

'Cause I told you once already,

and I was very clear.

I am too fucking busy to deal with you.

Okay? I'm just being cool here.

All right?

- What do we do here?
- This is a tough one.

So, Richard, in terms of a
player window, what do you see?

Well, um, I think it's
pretty straightforward.

I'll handle this, Richard.

- You don't have to.
- The whole reason we're doing this,

friend, is for branding value.

So we're gonna need a banner that says

"Powered by Pied Piper"
underneath the video window.

It doesn't have to be too big, but you
don't want it to be too small either.

Although, there's nothing
small about Homicide, Double-A.

At least as far as I can tell.

Also, if it's,
if it's possible--

Let me stop you right there, Richard.
We're gonna need to have our logos

on the car, Blaine's suit, his helmet.

If he wants to get a Flash tattoo or
something on his neck, that's on him.

Actually, um, in all honesty,

Erlich just pretty much said
exactly what I was gonna say.

Uh-huh. Um, so, Richard...

- Yes?
- Yeah?

Do you think you can make the
preview window full resolution?

- Um, yes...
- Richard can give you whatever you need.

But as far as the video player goes...

Guys, I'm sorry. I just remembered
that I've got somewhere...

else to be.

All right. Well, Double-A,
I'll see you soon.

I'm just gonna grab a shirt
and we'll check you later.

What the fuck, dude? Hey, I love your tech.

But come back tomorrow without
Kool-Aid, or don't come back at all.

Honestly.

- Richard, what's going on?
- What do you mean?

I'm catching kind of a vibe.

A weird vibe with you and Double-A.

Right. That. Well...

I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, Richard.

I don't think he likes you.

I mean, he literally
rolled his eyes at you.

Why don't you just trust me on this one.

Let Kool-Aid do the talking tomorrow.

Take this stuff. I'm gonna
grab a couple more drinks

and another hat.

I'm gonna get a box.

Gavin: This is a total fucking disaster.

If my engineers had just
told me they weren't ready,

I never would have pushed
for this live stream.

Even worse, now I hear those
little Pied Piper fuckers

are doing their own live
stream with Homicide.

- The energy drink?
- Yes.

Meanwhile, I've demanded
to see internal testing

from every facet of the Nucleus platform.

So I can see for myself where I stand.

Because all I hear from
everybody is good news.

Have I just surrounded
myself with sycophants,

who are just telling me whatever I
want to hear, regardless of the truth?

No.

- Thank you, Denpok.
- I really needed to hear that.

This might be morbid,
but the cold hard fact is

that if Blaine dies on our live
stream, this could be good for us.

I mean, we'd get a lot more traffic.

Well, and it would probably lead to calls
for regulations in the stunt industry.

So, in the long term, we're saving lives.

Although, there is the moral
problem with letting him die.

Though he did tell us to shut up.

And his name is Blaine.

And Gina is super hot.

And this would make her single.

She'd probably need consoling,
so... there's an opportunity.

Opportunity.

Dinesh: Should we SWOT this?

Bereaved women do tend to act out sexually.

Yeah, so that's a strength.

- Hey,
Kool-Aid! - Yeah!

And? So?

And?

It wasn't meant to be
a flattering nickname.

It was an insult.

I'm not sure I agree with that.

I mean, the dancing
pitcher breaks through walls

to give tasty beverages to kids in need.

Why would you infer from this
that Double-A doesn't like me?

Well, um, I wasn't inferring anything.

He told me to my face
that he doesn't like you.

But why wouldn't he like me?

Well, uh,

you have a tendency
sometimes to--

Why on earth wouldn't he like me?

Because, Erlich,
you tend to not let--

I was his mentor. You know?

You know, there's no
remote possibility--

Because you don't let people talk!

It just happened.

Um... and he told me
that if you came tomorrow

that he would pull the plug
on the whole live stream.

(sighs)

I see.

Sorry.

Are you done talking now?

Yes.

Do Dinesh and Gilfoyle know about this?

Uh, no, I came straight to you.

- What about Jared?
- No.

Okay, here's what you need to do.

You need to go in tomorrow,

and you need to do that live stream.

Put my feelings aside, you know,
don't quit on account of me.

I wasn't gonna... I wasn't gonna quit.

There is something you should know, though.

Aaron Anderson wasn't
very well liked in college.

In fact, people used to
call him "Double-Asshole."

So watch out for that guy.

Are you sure you're okay with this?

Yes, Richard. It's time
for me to be the bigger man.

The cooler man.

I am Kool-Aid, after all.

Ladies and gentlemen, for the last
90 minutes you have had an opportunity

to explore a standard HooliPhone
upgraded with a brand-new operating system

called Nucleus. Thank
you all for being here,

Aln, Lisa, Josh, Yana, Katie, Ram?n.

I'd like to get everyone's
first impressions.

Who'd like to jump in? Anyone?

How about you, Ram?n? It's just stupid.

Man: Okay, so Ram?n
feels the phone is stupid.

Could you elaborate, Ram?n?

Stupid how? Please, be as
specific as possible, Ram?n.

Well, it's slow.

The apps keep quitting on me.

I tried to watch a movie,
and it kept freezing up.

And when I'm typing, like, there's a delay.

Then all the letters pop up at once.

You took a good phone and
you made it all, like, shitty.

Keep in mind, I didn't design
the phone. It pissed me off.

Man: I appreciate your honesty, Ram?n.

That's just one guy's opinion.

Who else feels this product is stupid?

Allen, Lisa, Josh, Yana, Katie.

And did it piss off anyone else?

- Allen, Lisa, Josh, Yana, Katie.
- Okay.

Christina, how bad is this? Be honest.

Is this Windows Vista bad?

It's not iPhone 4 bad, is it?

(sighs)

Fuck. Don't tell me this is Zune bad.

I'm sorry, Gavin. It's Apple Maps bad.

And who else felt this
product is messed up?

- Allen, Lisa, Josh, Yana...
- Gavin: Fuck!

I'm sorry for the disturbance,
Allen, Lisa, Josh, Yana.

So I can definitely get you
full res on the preview window.

- Aw, sweet.
- Cool. I'll get right on that.

You see how much smoother this all
runs without Erlich hanging around?

Right, yeah.

Hey, did you ever send me the mockup

for the logo placement
of the player window?

Seriously, you should think
about dropping that guy.

But what do I know? I just
built a billion-dollar company.

Yeah. Yeah, okay. But, uh, about
the mockup for the logo placement...

Oh, hey. I gotta go Skype with my European
distributor. Keep cranking it, okay?

Sure, uh, will do.

Excuse me.

That's not the final graphic
for the live stream, is it?

Yep. Double-A signed off on it.

- Just that? There's nothing else?
- Nope.

-

Blaine doesn't die,

but he is horribly incapacitated.

And then while he's in the hospital,

he gets a flesh-eating virus,

and then he dies.

Well, obviously...

his incessant suffering will be a strength.

But our ability to enjoy
it is an opportunity.

What if before he dies...

Gina catches the virus?

And then she spreads it from
her vagina to your penis.

Wait, so in this scenario,

I get to have sex with
Gina? That's an opportunity.

- Okay, how about this?
- I'm listening.

We let Blaine die,

but then he's not around
to stop someone else

from committinsome huge
fucked-up act of evil?

- The "Kill Hitler" scenario.
- Right.

- (knocking on door)
- Hey, guys? You guys busy?

Uh...

Cool.

Um... I got something I gotta say.

Listen. I know that I was really
rude to both of you yesterday.

It's just, um...

when I got a stunt coming
up, I'm a bundle of nerves,

and sometimes I can take
that out on other people.

Even with all the support that
I get from Gina and our kids.

Okay... I don't know why.

But... and then again,

I'm a guy who needs to risk
his life jumping over stuff.

So, what's that all about, right? (laughs)

You know, actually just an hour
ago I spotted an error in my math.

Would have had me smeared
across the side of that building.

Uh... Anyway, now I'm
just totally rambling.

Typical Blaine.

What I wanted to say

was that I'm sorry.

Are we cool?

Yeah, we're cool. Thanks for stopping by.

Yeah, you should go quickly,
'cause we have work to do.

What's this?

What is that?

"Let Blaine die"?

Oh. Shit. We write in
code... we write in code.

- This is compression...
- "Strengths.

Blaine's last moment is
realizing face is gone"?

"Weaknesses Blaine dies super fast."

Yeah, you really shouldn't be looking
at that. That's all proprietary.

"Opportunities: fuck Gina"?

Would you believe that
was here when we came in?

Double-A? Can I talk to you for a second?

Uh, yeah. Leave me alone
for a sec. What's up?

Well, okay, uh, I just saw a
version of the player window

that apparently you approved of
that says Powered by Homicide on it?

Oh. Yeah, it does.

Right. Well, there's no Pied Piper logo.

Like anywhere. So what's up with that?

Oh, well...

Homicide is an energy drink,

and "power" means energy.

So that's kind of
confusing to the consumer,

so I think we're gonna
keep it the way it is.

Uh, the whole point of doing this

was so that we could get
our name out there. Remember?

I tell you what. Let's
see how it goes this time,

the next time we'll work something out.

Uh, no. No. We can't see
how it goes this time.

There is no next time. Okay?

We are racing to get our
platform ready for CES.

And we took time away from doing that

to do this so we could get PR value.

If no one sees the logo, then
there's no PR value at all.

Oh, man. I'm sorry. But you get it.

No, I don't get it.

Okay, look, you have to put our logo
in the viewer. That's it. Period.

Mm... actually, I don't
have to do a damn thing.

- Yeah, you do.
- No, I don't.

Okay, then neither do I.

Richard, don't be an asshole

like your buddy Kool-Aid. Okay?

Just finish the build, okay?

You know what, Double-A?

Erlich was right.

You are an asshole.

In fact, you're a double-asshole!

- (silence)
- (Richard clears throat)

What did you call me?

I... I called you a double-assle.

'Cause, you know, you're being an asshole.

Double-A,
double-asshole. You know?

You're twice the asshole.
Twice-hole. Double-asshole.

Oh. Ew. Is that a colostomy bag?

Do you have any idea what
it's like to be ten years old

and carry your own shit around in a bag?

To have two assholes?

I didn't know...

Hey, Richard? We should go.

Blaine: "Opportunities:
urinate on Blaine's grave"?

"Grief threesome with Gina and
Blaine's hot mom, question mark"?

- What the fuck?!
- I didn't...

- Gilfoyle: Richard!
- But I mean, you were being an asshole.

Okay, good luck.

(laughing) To his face?

You called him that to his face?!

How could you not
mention the colostomy bag?

Because it's a very private
and personal matter! (laughs)

It's not a laughing matter! But
you called him double-asshole first.

- Remember? In college?
- Yeah, but not to his face.

Never to his face! Not even
I'm not that fucking cruel!

- But you are!
- I'm actually not.

You tore double-asshole a third asshole!

(laughs) Triple-A!

(laughing)

Yeah, that was all my fault somehow?

(Erlich laughing)

Yeah, that was a big wank.

Since we're already set up for a live
stream, might I make a suggestion?

Wow. It looks even better
than I thought it would.

- Dinesh: Is that a still image?
- It's not frozen, is it?

No, it's live. It's
just not moving very much

because it's a fucking egg.

But think of the wonderful
things going on inside that egg.

The resolution in your
imagination is infinite.

Oh, hey, we're up to 17 views.

Okay, well, this isn't the
PR coup that we'd envisioned.

But, uh, Nucleus fucked up way worse.

At least we can go back to work knowing

that we're the only middle-out
compression that actually functions.

New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc? Steel-aged.

Drinks great during the day.

I can move, so you guys can
stand next to each other.

- Jared! Dude, no.
- God, no!

- (phone vibrating)
- Russ, hey.

Good job, my man! Fucking
live stream looks amazing!

- It does?
- Yeah, Homicide must be stoked!

- Homicide? What? - Russ: I
love the new name. It's kick-ass.

I always thought Pied Piper
was kind of a limp-dick name.

EndFrame is way cooler. EndFrame? What?

(tires screeching)

Man: Three, two, one!

He made it. Farewell, sweet Gina.

"Powered by EndFrame."
Who the fuck is EndFrame?

Why is their fucking
logo on this live stream?

- EndFrame isn't you guys?
- Oh, fuck!

EndFrame is those guys that
brain-raped us at Branston Ventures.

"EndFrame is a compression
company specializing

in middle-out compression technology."

Those pricks! They stole my algorithm!

I know guys at the FBI we could
call. Were you fucking hacked?

- Uh... actually, no.
- Well, how did they get it then?

- I'm sorry?
- How did they get it then, Richard?

How did they get it? Well, we kinda
found ourselves in their conference room,

and accidentally sketched
out our key components

to our algorithm's data
model on their whiteboards.

Russ: You fucking...

Russ?

He hung up.

I'd file this one under "Weakness," Jared.

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www.addic7ed.com

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