All language subtitles for Silicon Valley s02e05 Server Space.eng

(sighs)

(exhales) Damn it.

Again?

Doctor: Let me ask you something, Richard.

You sure it's not urine

and you're not just wetting the bed?

Yeah, I'm sure. It's... it's not.

It's just sweat.

Well, then the medical
term for what you have

is "night sweats."

Okay.

But night sweats can be a precursor

to bed-wetting, and that is very serious.

How serious?

- Like, uh, cancer?
- No!

It's embarrassing.

I mean, you're a grown
man, Richard. Come on.

That's what children do.

But I'm not wetting the bed.

Yet! How's your stress level been?

Uh, it's gotten worse.

Um, I have to get a
working beta of my platform

ready in time for January.

I just took money from
a guy who is a nightmare.

I hired six new people.

We're going to spend a ton
of money on new offices.

It's like every second, there is
a new issue that I have to solve.

I am stressed as hell.

Richard, currently, your
stress level is here.

And that's night-sweats level.

Now if you're not careful
and you let it go up,

bed-wetting.

(theme music playing)

sync and corrections
by Caio www.addic7ed.com

Dinesh: I love these walls.

You know what it is? They're exposed brick.

Why would anyone ever hide brick?

Did you see the conference nook?

Just think of the conferences
we could have in this nook.

Oh, yeah. I mean, this is really expensive.

So, um, what did the doctor say?

Uh, it's nothing. It's just
stress-related night sweats.

- I'll be fine.
- That's good to hear.

- Are you relieved?
- I would have been

if that idiot hadn't
have mentioned something

about how it can lead to, uh, bed-wetting.

I'm just trying not to think about it.

Good, don't. Definitely.

Because just thinking about it
would probably stress you out

- enough to make it happen...
- Stop!

Would you... Don't say "stress."

I just said that I was
trying not to think about it.

Well, Richard, personal management

is a big part of being a CEO.

You think working here might help?

Actually, uh, yeah. I think it would.

But can we afford it?

Well, this is an investment
in your mental health.

Richard, I mean, can you put a
dollar value on not wetting your bed?

Ahh, don't.

If you want this, Richard,
even with the money we wasted

on swag and billboards, I think
I can make the numbers work.

It's your call.

Hey, guys? Um, this is Yelena.

She got off the elevator at the wrong floor

because her modeling agency is upstairs.

Richard?

- Yeah.
- Please?

Primarily for other reasons,

but, uh, yes! Yeah, sure.
Uh, we're gonna take it.

We're take... We're taking it.

- Take? Oh.
- I'm gonna hug you.

No.

All right, this one's ready
to go out to the truck.

Great. Take it out.

Okay, you know what? I
said we should hire movers.

I don't do this kind of stuff.

I work with my mind, not with my hands.

In Pakistan, we had servants who did this.

It wasn't a big deal. We didn't pay
them very much and they were very happy.

I'll take out your box of tampons.

It's good for the soul.

Interesting pitch.

I will admit, I have never heard

a Christian-oriented
riff on dog-sharing.

But Christianity is borderline illegal

in Northern California.
Also, how would you scale?

Well, we could expand

from sharing dogs to other types of pets...

- Pot-bellied pigs, ferrets...
- I'm gonna stop you right there.

You do know that ferrets are
illegal in the state of California?

Hmm? No.

Well, then I suppose you also don't know

that pot-bellied pigs have been
wildly unfashionable since 2005.

Owning a pot-bellied pig is frowned
upon almost as much as being a Christian.

Thank you, gentlemen. Good day.

And technically, I'm not
passing on Dog Dammit.

I'm just not saying yes.

But who knows? The Lord
works in mysterious ways.

I don't have to tell you that.

(knock at door)

Erlich: Richard, do you have a moment?

I'd like to present you something.

Okay, what's up?

- What are you doing?
- Bowing.

The Japanese have the most advanced
business culture in the world.

I am showing you respect
by using their traditions.

And traditionally, you give a gift

on important occasions, such
as the graduating of an incubee.

"Incubee"? Is that a word?

Of course it is. One who's been incubated.

The inhabitant of an incubator.

Okay. Okay.

Now you bow. I'd really rather not.

Richard, I need you to bow.

- To the waist.
- To the waist?

Okay.

Now I hand this to you,

and it is customary for
you to politely refuse

and weakly say that you are not worthy.

Erlich, I really don't have time for this.

That's perfect. Here you go.

Good.

Oh, wow.

Japanese coin. Lowest denomination.

Wow.

Is this a kimono?

- Well, try it on.
- Uh, thank you, Erlich.

Sore wa meiyodeshita.

According to Google Translate,

that means, "It has been an honor."

Yeah, all right.

Thank you. Thanks.

I'm still packing up, so
I don't want to damage it.

Eh, eh, traditionally it's rolled.

Okay.

Wikipedia.

Thanks, Erlich.

I'll get you something later.

Oh, little kohai, you've
already given me a gift.

Hi.

Hey.

Noah from next door.

Oh, hey. Richard.

Moving out?

Uh, yeah, some of us are, sort of.

Well, I'd be lying to say
I was sad to see you go.

Okay. Nothing personal.

You seem like nice guys,

just houses full of renters
aren't great for property values.

Yeah, that makes sense.

This neighborhood is mostly families.

Okay. Well, we're moving out, so...

People with pets, you know?

Mm-hmm.

- Well, good luck.
- You too.

- What?
- You, too.

- Hey, Richard?
- Oh, hey, Jared.

Richard, the hosting company

that was going to be renting us
server space just dropped their bid.

Okay, well, let's just get
servers from some other provider.

Well, I just contacted five
other web services companies,

and they're all denying us.

I think I know what
might be happening here.

Jared: All of them...
Rackspace, Softlayer, Amazon.

I mean, they can't afford
to lose Hooli's business.

So Gavin Belson can just pick up
the phone and make us radioactive

to every single web-hosting service?

It's how these guys operate.

I mean, when Bill Gates
got married on Lanai,

he rented every helicopter
on the Hawaiian islands

so that paparazzi couldn't
use them to fly over.

Although in that case, it was a positive,

because now you can imagine
that wedding however you want.

- What?
- Dinesh: Jared?

Our entire platform is web-based.

We need servers for that.

What the fuck are we going to do?

I know what the fuck we're going to do.

But you're not going to like it.

We build our own servers.

Gilfoyle, servers are
essentially a utility.

I mean, you wouldn't dig a well for water

or build a generator for power.

I think we should dig our own well

and build our own generator.

I also think we should
store a year's worth of food

and ammunition in a blast cellar.

But we don't.

So good luck when the shit hits the fan.

Look, Richard, we're about precision,

about shaving yoctoseconds off latency

at every layer in the stack.

If we rent from a public cloud,

we're using servers that are by definition

generic and unpredictable.

Yeah, but we're already up
against a serious deadline.

I mean, how long is building our
own servers going to set us back?

If I busted my ass?

I could stand them up inside a week

right here in the house.

Look, Richard, truth is,

this is a huge positive.

I tried running the platform
on my old Bitcoin rig?

At 5200 gigaflops, your algorithm flies

800 times faster on GPUs
compared to normal CPUs.

No host could match the config
that I built here in the house.

Oh, and also, we don't
seem to have a choice.

But that would cost a ton.

And we don't have that kind
of money just lying around.

It seems as though we do have that
kind of money just lying around.

But that's for the office space.

- Was it?
- No, no, no, no!

Jared, we already signed the lease.

It's too late, right?
We can't break the lease.

I mean, we haven't
given them the check yet.

- Here it is.
- I could go mail it right now.

In this market, they could probably
find another tenant in a day.

I doubt there would be an issue.

Fuck! Richard, please?

It's servers or offices,
Richard. We can't afford both.

Damn it, I don't know what to do.

Well, then it's a good thing...

It's a good thing that I'm here, isn't it?

As much as I hate to agree with Gilfoyle,

he's right... You have but one option.

Stay here and build the servers.

Are you sure? Because I've
got Carla and five other coders

starting over the next few weeks.

Well, it's going to get
a little cozy in here,

but I'll endure for your sake.

What about all your other "incubees"?

I've heard quite a few exciting
pitches over the last week,

but I'll be forced to
forgo those opportunities

because of your mediocrity.

You see, Richard, when I
invited you into my incubator,

I promised to get you
ready for the outside world.

But I failed to do that. I
wouldn't trust you out there

in the real world as
far as I could throw you.

And to be honest, I
could probably throw you

all the way across the front yard.

Okay, but I don't want to stay here.

I don't want you to either, Richard.

So it's agreed.

Welcome home, fellas.

Should we smoke some pot to celebrate?

(motors buzzing)

Gavin, thank you for coming.

I am certain that once you witness
firsthand what Mr. Bighetti is up to,

you will see that he is
worthless around here.

Worth is a relative thing.

Yes, but worthlessness
is not. It is absolute.

People add value to this
company in many different ways.

Of course, but look at this.

Bighetti has his team
wasting valuable resources

- on a potato canon.
- Four, three,

two, one.

- (explosion)
- (glass shattering)

- Heads up!
- Heads!

Bighetti: Shit.

You see what your brightest
minds are being wasted on?

Launching potatoes.

- Bighetti: What the fuck?
- Man: Sorry.

Perhaps they're developing it as
a non-lethal form of crowd control.

I actually think that
it could kill somebody.

But even so, compared to what my team

has accomplished in a matter of days, I...

Come here, I want you to meet somebody.

All right, I've got a good
feeling about this one.

One more time. Everybody ready? Fire!

Oh, shit! You okay? Sorry. Shit.

- (chirping)
- Bannerchek: This is Kiko.

Kiko was rescued after
a Nicaraguan landmine

severed both his arms.

My team, using technology
developed at Somerville,

was able to devise an array of sensors

that can non-invasively detect signals

from the neurons in the
motor cortex in the brain.

- (chirping)
- (motors whirring)

So without surgery, we
have given Kiko the gift

of a usable prosthetic appendage.

- (whirring)
- (chirping)

What's he doing?

- (Kiko chirping)
- (whirring pulsates)

What Kiko chooses to do with
the technology is not important.

What's important here is that,

in spite of what it may
seem like on the surface,

building a device that is capable of this

is a remarkable scientific achievement.

And what you're looking
at is really a testament

to my team and to my leadership,

- and I just... I feel that...
- (Kiko squeals)

(Kiko happily chirping)

I'm going to have to insist that
Bighetti be removed if I continue here.

Davis, there are a lot
of forces at work here.

There's a lot at play
that you are not privy to.

Please do not question how
I choose to run my company.

Of course, I just have to
think that both of our interests

would be better served if Bighettwas not...

What is he doing now?

(grunting)

- Oh, God.
- (Kiko defecating)

Again, I have to stress
that what the monkey chooses

to do with the technology
is not necessarily

an indictment of the technology itself.

- Gavin, please!
- (Kiko squealing)

Oh!

Okay. So I'll put 80 GPUs
on racks against that wall.

We'll have three main
cabinets in the center.

I'll try and pull 220-volt power

from the washer/dryer
for all the cooling units.

So you'll need this entire space then?

Yep. All right.

- I'll move my things.
- What?

It's okay, I travel light. I'll
have it all in my car in no time.

Wait, Jared, uh...

are you living here in the garage?

Indeed I am. High on the hog.

Jesus Christ, poor fucker.
Sleeping out there with the rodents.

Hey, I keep a clean garage.
There are no rodents out there.

How can you guarantee there
are no rodents living there

when you didn't even know
Jared was living there?

I need all rodents and
Jareds out of the garage.

I need the space.

Do we have any extra power strips?

There's not a lot of outlets out there.

There are a lot of dudes
playing foosball, loudly.

I'll take care of that.
Say no more. Jian-Yang!

I need all of your guys out of there,

and the foosball table.

Those not my guys.

They're always around. Who are they?

- (men grunting)
- Friends of friends.

They're friends of your... Mother fuck!

Guys, look, Jared gave up his own apartment

so he could take less salary
and save the company money.

I mean, Erlich, can he just stay here?

Once again, because of
your poor managerial skills,

I've been hoisted upon my own petard.

Yes, he can stay here.

Great. So, um, which room can he stay in?

Well, he's not staying in mine.

I sleep dick-up.

Okay, so then...

Uh, not it.

Okay.

- Not a chance in hell.
- All right. Ahem.

Fuck.

(Jared speaking German, softly)

(continues speaking German)

(panting)

Oh, shit.

'Morning, roomie. I made you a half-caff.

Oh.

- Richard.
- Yeah.

I, um, I sweated through my sheets again.

You sweated? You sure you didn't...

Yes, I'm sure. It's just sweat, so...

Do you think maybe you
sweat from your urethra?

No, I didn't sweat through my...

You know what? Let's not talk about it.

Because talking about it
will only exacerbate...

- Stop.
- Yeah.

Hey, um, when did you
learn to speak German?

What? I don't speak German.

- You sure?
- Yeah.

All this hardware for $70,000?

- Yup.
- It's nice work.

Oh, look at all this stuff.

Oh, is that a Radeon
7850? We're usinthese, huh?

There's no "we."

You don't do this kind of work, remember?

You make a living with
your mind, not your hands.

- No, no, no...
- So don't touch.

You misunderstood me. I like hardware.

I made my own computer when I was nine.

From scratch or kit?

It was from a kit, but I did my own mods.

- That's what I thought.
- I was nine.

I'm sure you were great at
fingerpainting, also, Dinesh.

Richard is the CEO. He
delegated this to me.

Why don't you go inside and
write some princess code?

Leave the hardware up to us servants.

All right, I got the
crimper and some heat shrink.

- Great.
- Wait, she can help but not me?

That's right.

Can I help? Please?

Mmm, no.

I said... Richard, you
have to let me help him.

Dinesh, you have to hack away on
the front end of the build anyway.

- So why don't you...
- Excuse me?

- Excuse me?
- Oh, this is bullshit.

- Oh, hey, Noah.
- I thought you guy were moving up?

But it looks like you're moving back in.

Well, yeah, it's a
little complicated, but...

What are you guys doing in there?

What, you building some kind of computer?

- Well, more of a server/data center.
- (phone vibrating)

It's actually pretty interesting,
if you're into that sort of stuff.

Hello?

Erlich: Stop talking immediately!

Come inside. Don't look
at me. Don't look at me!

Don't look at me.

Just tell him that you shit
your pants and have weak knees.

What were you doing out there?

- Oh, um...
- Why were you talking to that person?

'Cause he lives next door.
I was just being neighborly.

Neighborly? First of
all, that's not a word.

Second of all, you don't
talk to the neighbors, ever.

In fact, don't talk to anybody.

It's no one's business what we do here.

Why would anyone care what goes on in here?

'Cause we're not zoned
for business, obviously.

What... what do you mean
we're not zoned for business?

I just moved my entire business here!

You just keep your mouth shut
and everything will be fine.

You talked me into staying
here even though you knew

we were breaking the law?

I'm sorry, Erlich, but I'm pissed.

- You're pissed at me?
- Yeah.

I should be pissed at you.

- You know why?
- Why?

Because when one is given a parting gift

and one never parts, shouldn't
one return the said gift?

Isn't that what decorum would dictate?

Oh, this is out the kimono?

Okay, I will give it back
to you right now, gladly.

Now I'm really pissed.

Because if one appreciated
a gift of such magnitude,

then one would put up more of a fight

before returning it, wouldn't one?

Okay, okay.

Jared: A complaint from the neighbor

to the Department of Planning
and Community Environment

triggers an inspection,
which can lead to a citation,

fines, or even the seizure and
impounding of our equipment.

That gentleman next door
has the power to ruin us.

Jesus.

Richard, can I suggest you
take it easy on the Red Bulls?

It's a diuretic, and given your issue...

My issue?

Oh, God. It's night sweats, Jared.

Yes, well, regardless of what
we've decided on calling it,

pounding caffeine and sugar
is not exactly going to help.

But you know what might? Kegels.

What?

Kegels are a form of exercise
that strengthen the pelvic floor.

Yes, it's most commonly used
by women to recover control

of their vaginal muscles after childbirth,

but it can really help,

you know, "night sweats."

Wow.

Okay, we're not going to
talk about this anymore.

I'm doing it right now.

Clench, unclench, clench...

- Stop.
- (music blaring)

You hear that?

- Hey, hey.
- (heavy metal blaring)

Stop it, hey. Turn the music down.

Turn it... turn it off. We have neighbors.

Are you kidding me? Look, Gilfoyle,

you said that you would have
all the servers up and running.

And we're already a week behind.

Don't you think you should
be doing that instead of,

you know, getting high on the job?

I'm not getting high on the job.

I'm getting high at home.

I live here, remember?

Right, okay, fair enough. Fair enough.

But Carla doesn't. These guys don't.

I'm having them over as guests, at my home.

If that's okay with you, Richard.

This is your home.

- Yes.
- You live in the workplace.

But you also work from home.

That must be really confusing for you.

Yes, as a matter of fact, it is.

- That's kind of the...
- (electrical surging)

Does it look dark to you guys?

Oh, hey, guys.

Dude, what the fuck?

The power's out.

Okay, fine, I wanted to set up one GPU,

just one, and so I turned the power on

and the whole system lit up. And...

Yeah, it did, you dick.

'Cause I bypassed the meter to save money

and went directly to the
feed without the UPS ready.

That surge just fragged
the whole fucking system.

Holy shit.

Erlich: What the hell did you guys do?

The power in the whole block is down.

Great.

- (motor whirring)
- What the...

Oh, God, look who it is.

We need to talk, guys.

Hold on a sec.

No, whatever you're going to
say, just say it from there.

We can hear you.

If you didn't have so
many cars parked here,

maybe I could get through.

He's really going to go all the way around?

- That's a long ways.
- Hold on.

Jesus Christ! Save some
battery, for Christ's sake!

- Just a sec.
- Just yell it!

It's okay, Noah, we get it.
You can say it from there.

You're gonna report us to
the city inspector, right?

Erlich: Jesus!

Guess what?

I'm reporting you to the city inspector.

Right.

Zoning codes are very clear.

Neighborhood's for families, pets.

Jared: Nicht verstehen!

(speaking German)

Holy shit.

(screaming in German)

Noah: Come here, Agamemnon. Come here, boy.

Yes. Who's a good boy?

- Yeah, you're a good boy.
- (kissing)

Come here, Agamemnon.

Did that blackout scare you, Agamemnon?

Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy.

Yeah. Give me a kiss. Mwah!

- Oh, yeah.
- Holy shit.

Oh, yeah. Daddy loves you, Daddy loves you.

Give me a kiss. Give me a kiss. Oh, yeah.

- (knocking)
- Erlich?

- What is it?
- Hey.

Um, I'm sorry I didn't
give you back the kimono

or resist giving you back the
kimono, or whatever it was,

but I have a gift that
might make it up to you.

Is that what I think it is?

- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, boy.

(pounding)

It is 4:00 in the morning! What the...

Why are you both wearing kimonos?

Noah, are you familiar with the
California Fish and Game Code,

section 2116-2126,

with regard to the possession
and harboring of ferrets?

- Oh, God.
- Oh, yeah.

Those little shits are illegal.

Erlich, please, don't.
I'll... I'll do anything.

Oh, yeah, you will.

We are here to stay,
and you're going to keep

that bearded little hole in the
center of your face shut about it.

- Listen, I was just trying...
- No, you listen.

You're always going on and on about
how this is such a good neighborhood.

Do you know why it's
such a good neighborhood?

Do you know why your shitty house

is worth 20 times what you
paid for it in the 1970s?

Cause of people like us moving in

and starting illegal
businesses in our garages.

All the best companies... Apple, Google,

Hewlett-Packard, even Aviato,

all of them were started
in unzoned garages.

That is why Silicon Valley

is one of the hottest
neighborhoods in the world.

Because of people like us,

not because of people like you.

So if I catch even so
much as a dirty glance

or a lascivious look
in Richard's direction,

that is it.

Those weasels are dog food.

Okay. Okay.

- (whispering)
- Um, guest house.

Yes. Is your guest house
currently rented out?

No, it's not for rent.

Well, it mother-fucking is now.

Your new tenant is Jared Dunn.

His rent will be exceedingly reasonable.

And his utilities will be included.

(electrical buzzing)

He speaks German in the night.

Well, if you'll excuse us, we
have an illegal business to run.

Erlich?

(grunts)

But when our scientists did the study,

they found the rate of birth
defects in that territory

was actually higher before we
opened our battery plant there.

But, very good question.
Thank you for that question.

Okay, before I finish up
here, I have an announcement.

Today I have accepted the resignation

of Dr. Davis Bannerchek.

So it pleases me to inform you all

that effective immediately,

Nelson Bighetti has been
promoted to sole head dreamer

of Hooli XYZ.

Sorry, what?

Stand up, Bag Head.

What a meteoric ascension.

Just a few months ago,
you co-founded Pied Piper

and now you've been promoted twice.

It speaks to your competence.

Give it up for Bag Head,
ladies and gentlemen.

And lastly, I have big news.

In anticipation of our big release
of Nucleus at CES in January,

we've decided to give
the world a sneak preview.

Nucleus, in partnership with Dana White

and the Ultimate Fighting Championship

will be the exclusive
provider of live streaming

for next month's Ultimate
Fighting Championship event,

Molina versus Bulgakov II.

I realize the full platform
won't be ready until January,

but our Nucleus division assures me

they are ready for this challenge.

And I can think of no more exciting a way

to give a little taste of
Nucleus to the entire world

than by putting video latency
in a rear-naked choke hold.

Great job, team. All right, back to work.

Did you, uh, tell Gavin

where we are on the video situation?

He does know thatonverting
the whole platform

to middle-out has put us at least
six weeks behind schedule, right?

Well, I'm not going to
be the one who tells him

we're that far behind.
If you want to, feel free.

I just heard you tell
Heidi we'rsix weeks behind?

But remember that drop-frame
issue I showed you?

We're easily 15 weeks behind.

Well, I'm not going to be the
one to tell Heidi about that.

Feel free to tell her yourself.

Did I just hear you say
we're only 15 weeks behind?

I've been integrating
the system natively...

Dude, I don't even want to know about it.

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