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1
00:00:02,241 --> 00:00:04,241
It was like a summer camp and a spa,
2
00:00:04,243 --> 00:00:06,648
went to town on each other,
didn't do the hokey pokey
3
00:00:06,760 --> 00:00:08,382
got pregnant and gave birth to this place.
4
00:00:08,384 --> 00:00:12,068
I mean, we did a couples massages
in front of a campfire...
5
00:00:12,070 --> 00:00:14,070
and a moonlight zip line for two.
6
00:00:14,072 --> 00:00:15,738
You hate laying still for that long.
7
00:00:15,740 --> 00:00:16,739
You hate heights.
8
00:00:16,741 --> 00:00:17,940
Both: Not anymore.
9
00:00:17,942 --> 00:00:19,775
You know, I hate to admit it,
10
00:00:19,777 --> 00:00:22,245
but it sounds like you two are
actually improving each other.
11
00:00:22,247 --> 00:00:23,613
Yeah, he makes me a better person.
12
00:00:23,615 --> 00:00:25,147
- We make a great team.
- Yes!
13
00:00:25,149 --> 00:00:27,016
You know who I make
a great team with? Tessie.
14
00:00:27,018 --> 00:00:28,284
Your dad got the Tesla?
15
00:00:28,286 --> 00:00:29,986
Yeah, and my phone works as a key.
16
00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:32,154
I guess this is what
his midlife crisis looks like.
17
00:00:32,156 --> 00:00:34,190
Almost as good-looking as yours.
18
00:00:34,192 --> 00:00:35,725
I want to see what Harrison's can do.
19
00:00:35,727 --> 00:00:38,494
No, no, no, no.
Hey, Dad trusted me to drive it.
20
00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:40,730
Relax, honey. It's just a car.
21
00:00:40,732 --> 00:00:42,798
But... hey, careful! Careful.
22
00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:45,268
It's not the messiah. It's a car.
23
00:00:45,270 --> 00:00:46,836
You really need to loosen up.
24
00:00:46,838 --> 00:00:49,205
You know what? You need
someone to loosen you up.
25
00:00:49,207 --> 00:00:52,742
Yeah, like a girl that will
bring out another side of you.
26
00:00:52,744 --> 00:00:54,176
Which is not this side.
- [Blows on car]
27
00:00:54,178 --> 00:00:55,811
He gets some of his tightness from me.
28
00:00:55,813 --> 00:00:59,181
Well, from the Lydia BJ.
29
00:00:59,183 --> 00:01:01,017
Lydia before Jimmy. Not the...
30
00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:02,685
Okay, okay. Stop. Guys, look.
31
00:01:02,687 --> 00:01:06,188
I appreciate the concern,
but I am totally fine.
32
00:01:06,190 --> 00:01:08,925
Now, I need you to put on
these protective booties.
33
00:01:08,927 --> 00:01:10,693
You know, when your feet wear protection,
34
00:01:10,695 --> 00:01:12,728
your penis doesn't need to
35
00:01:12,730 --> 00:01:14,297
because no one's going near it.
36
00:01:14,299 --> 00:01:16,832
Hey!
37
00:01:16,834 --> 00:01:20,836
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
38
00:01:20,838 --> 00:01:23,472
Ah ah ah ah
39
00:01:23,474 --> 00:01:24,840
[bicycle bell rings]
40
00:01:24,842 --> 00:01:26,275
So why don't you want a girlfriend?
41
00:01:26,277 --> 00:01:28,482
- I mean, they're the best.
- I never said I don't want one.
42
00:01:28,484 --> 00:01:30,080
I just haven't met the right person yet.
43
00:01:30,082 --> 00:01:31,648
Ooh, my spinning instructor's single.
44
00:01:31,650 --> 00:01:33,016
And I don't want to be set up.
45
00:01:33,018 --> 00:01:34,795
Especially by my mom. It's weird.
46
00:01:35,020 --> 00:01:37,454
What about your best friend's
girlfriend? That's not weird.
47
00:01:37,456 --> 00:01:38,822
It is when she's my mom.
48
00:01:38,824 --> 00:01:40,557
Okay, fine. I won't set you up.
49
00:01:40,559 --> 00:01:42,826
But at least consider dating
someone different than you.
50
00:01:42,828 --> 00:01:44,928
Someone who can help you grow
into a better person.
51
00:01:44,930 --> 00:01:46,629
You're my mom. You're supposed to think
52
00:01:46,631 --> 00:01:48,832
- that I'm perfect the way I am.
- As your mom, I do,
53
00:01:48,834 --> 00:01:51,768
but as Jimmy's girlfriend,
you need to relax, man.
54
00:01:51,770 --> 00:01:53,236
I am relaxed.
55
00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:54,637
You're going under the speed limit
56
00:01:54,639 --> 00:01:56,272
in a car that has insane mode.
57
00:01:56,274 --> 00:01:57,707
I'm being responsible.
58
00:01:57,709 --> 00:02:00,877
You're being uptight.
59
00:02:00,879 --> 00:02:05,015
[bluesy bass music]
60
00:02:05,017 --> 00:02:09,185
God, look at that girl.
She's totally checking you out.
61
00:02:09,187 --> 00:02:10,854
She wants to race.
62
00:02:10,856 --> 00:02:12,856
Go insane mode. Win the race and her heart.
63
00:02:12,858 --> 00:02:15,125
Jimmy, this is a residential
street. It's not safe.
64
00:02:15,127 --> 00:02:17,527
Oh, come on. She's pushing you
outside of your comfort zone.
65
00:02:17,529 --> 00:02:20,129
This is exactly what you need.
66
00:02:20,131 --> 00:02:21,997
I like my comfort zone.
It's very comfortable.
67
00:02:21,999 --> 00:02:24,600
Then you leave me no choice.
68
00:02:24,602 --> 00:02:27,537
- What are you doing?
- Insane mode, or I open the puffs.
69
00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:29,372
- You wouldn't.
- I just did.
70
00:02:29,374 --> 00:02:30,506
No.
71
00:02:30,508 --> 00:02:31,507
Mmm.
72
00:02:31,509 --> 00:02:34,276
Jimmy, put the puff down.
73
00:02:34,278 --> 00:02:37,246
[rock music]
74
00:02:37,248 --> 00:02:39,215
75
00:02:39,217 --> 00:02:41,517
No!
76
00:02:41,519 --> 00:02:44,353
If you don't do it, I will.
77
00:02:44,355 --> 00:02:45,821
Huh?
78
00:02:45,823 --> 00:02:47,657
Dude, don't, don't, don't!
79
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,894
[quirky music]
80
00:02:51,896 --> 00:02:54,296
81
00:02:54,298 --> 00:02:56,565
[tires squealing]
82
00:02:56,567 --> 00:02:59,068
Define uptight.
83
00:02:59,070 --> 00:03:00,236
You just did, buddy.
84
00:03:03,763 --> 00:03:06,029
Okay, Nate's profile is live.
85
00:03:06,017 --> 00:03:08,818
So wait, Get Forked
is like Tinder for foodies?
86
00:03:08,820 --> 00:03:10,720
Yeah, I mean,
there's a Tinder for everything.
87
00:03:10,722 --> 00:03:13,189
There's even Achin4Bacon.
88
00:03:13,191 --> 00:03:15,524
For women looking for men
who look like Kevin Bacon.
89
00:03:15,526 --> 00:03:17,159
[laughs]
90
00:03:17,161 --> 00:03:18,361
What do you think?
91
00:03:18,363 --> 00:03:20,129
Um, no. Too many butt pictures.
92
00:03:20,131 --> 00:03:22,898
Come on, a belfie's a sign
of a girl looking for fun.
93
00:03:22,900 --> 00:03:24,967
You can't be Nate's mom on this.
94
00:03:24,969 --> 00:03:27,136
[groans] Okay. You're right.
95
00:03:27,138 --> 00:03:28,371
Poke right.
96
00:03:28,373 --> 00:03:30,373
Mmm? Mmm?
97
00:03:30,375 --> 00:03:32,008
Ooh, left, left. Slide left, left, left.
98
00:03:32,010 --> 00:03:33,576
No, absolutely not.
99
00:03:33,578 --> 00:03:35,811
- Okay. Oh.
- Eww.
100
00:03:35,813 --> 00:03:37,146
- See? Now you're getting it.
- Yeah.
101
00:03:37,148 --> 00:03:38,581
If she's all right, right.
102
00:03:38,583 --> 00:03:39,982
Later gator, left.
103
00:03:39,984 --> 00:03:41,951
Aw, later gator. Oh, my gosh.
104
00:03:41,953 --> 00:03:43,285
I always used to say that to Nate
105
00:03:43,287 --> 00:03:44,887
- all the time when he was a kid.
- Aw.
106
00:03:44,889 --> 00:03:46,656
But you knew that because you were there.
107
00:03:46,658 --> 00:03:48,391
Let's keep playing!
108
00:03:48,393 --> 00:03:50,292
Good thing there's nothing
we can't do together.
109
00:03:50,294 --> 00:03:51,494
I know.
110
00:03:51,496 --> 00:03:53,029
- What are you guys doing?
- Hey!
111
00:03:53,031 --> 00:03:54,997
We signed you up for Get Forked.
For Get Forked!
112
00:03:54,999 --> 00:03:56,532
A hookup app, really?
113
00:03:56,534 --> 00:03:59,101
Yes. Come on. It's so much fun.
114
00:03:59,103 --> 00:04:02,104
Wait, why is there a picture
of me in front of the Tesla?
115
00:04:02,106 --> 00:04:03,172
When did you even take it?
116
00:04:03,174 --> 00:04:04,807
The other day.
117
00:04:04,809 --> 00:04:06,909
I mean, it brings out
your eyes in a way that says,
118
00:04:06,911 --> 00:04:08,844
"I have a lot of money and a nice car."
119
00:04:08,846 --> 00:04:10,146
- No.
- Uh-uh.
120
00:04:10,148 --> 00:04:11,847
- No, no, no, no. No.
- Get Forked.
121
00:04:11,849 --> 00:04:13,949
Jimmy says that dating
in today's digital market
122
00:04:13,951 --> 00:04:17,386
isn't about who you are,
it's about who you say you are.
123
00:04:17,388 --> 00:04:18,988
- And we said you were cool.
- Yeah.
124
00:04:18,990 --> 00:04:20,623
And these girls believed it!
125
00:04:20,625 --> 00:04:23,292
You've already got 15 who want
to eat you for dinner.
126
00:04:23,294 --> 00:04:24,960
You mean meet me for dinner?
127
00:04:24,962 --> 00:04:28,798
No, eat you. It's a Get Forked thing.
128
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:31,367
Wow, these girls seem cool.
But I don't know.
129
00:04:31,369 --> 00:04:34,603
Oh, come on. Worst case,
you go on some bad dates...
130
00:04:34,605 --> 00:04:37,139
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Best case,
you find someone amazing!
131
00:04:37,141 --> 00:04:39,375
Medium case, loosens you up
for the right girl.
132
00:04:39,377 --> 00:04:41,677
When she breaks up with Atticus.
133
00:04:41,679 --> 00:04:44,180
I don't like Sam. But I don't know.
134
00:04:44,182 --> 00:04:45,614
Come on, come on, poke right with us.
135
00:04:45,616 --> 00:04:47,383
Poking right means all right.
136
00:04:47,385 --> 00:04:49,819
You might even partake in
some consensual finger sucking.
137
00:04:49,821 --> 00:04:50,820
Okay. Fine. I'll do it.
138
00:04:50,822 --> 00:04:52,188
Yay! We did it!
139
00:04:52,190 --> 00:04:53,556
Hashtag!
140
00:04:53,558 --> 00:04:55,257
Teamwork!
141
00:04:55,259 --> 00:04:56,258
Wow.
142
00:04:56,260 --> 00:04:58,027
[upbeat music]
143
00:04:58,029 --> 00:05:00,262
[Sam vocalizing]
144
00:05:00,264 --> 00:05:01,897
Hello, mate.
145
00:05:01,899 --> 00:05:04,166
Hey, boss-man, what are you
all spiffed up for?
146
00:05:04,168 --> 00:05:05,735
Going on a date.
147
00:05:05,737 --> 00:05:08,003
And then, like,
a bunch more dates after that.
148
00:05:08,005 --> 00:05:09,238
I'm on Get Forked.
149
00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:10,606
Wow, that's great.
150
00:05:10,608 --> 00:05:12,241
You're not overdressed at all.
151
00:05:12,243 --> 00:05:14,143
The fork to my farm
is finally getting forked.
152
00:05:14,145 --> 00:05:15,344
Good on ya.
153
00:05:15,346 --> 00:05:17,113
It wasn't really my idea,
154
00:05:17,115 --> 00:05:20,116
but my mom and Jimmy think I
need what they have to be happy.
155
00:05:20,118 --> 00:05:21,984
At a certain point,
it's easier to just agree.
156
00:05:21,986 --> 00:05:23,586
Oh, that's a bummer.
157
00:05:23,588 --> 00:05:26,789
I just wrote this song
about you and your secret crush.
158
00:05:26,791 --> 00:05:28,023
My secret crush?
159
00:05:28,025 --> 00:05:29,759
Yeah, Tessie.
160
00:05:29,761 --> 00:05:33,562
You'll never need a key
to spark her ignition
161
00:05:33,564 --> 00:05:36,165
She got you beggin' please
162
00:05:36,167 --> 00:05:38,367
And revvin' her engine
163
00:05:38,369 --> 00:05:42,338
Ain't no shame in this ego decision
164
00:05:42,340 --> 00:05:47,176
'Cause this love's got zero emission
165
00:05:47,178 --> 00:05:48,644
[laughs]
166
00:05:48,646 --> 00:05:49,879
- Eh, get it?
- 'Cause it's...
167
00:05:49,881 --> 00:05:51,113
'Cause it's electric
168
00:05:51,115 --> 00:05:52,581
Well, you know, here's hoping
169
00:05:52,583 --> 00:05:55,384
I find a love with multiple emissions.
170
00:05:55,386 --> 00:05:56,619
Gross.
171
00:05:56,621 --> 00:05:57,686
[laughs]
172
00:05:57,688 --> 00:05:59,455
Atticus liked it.
173
00:05:59,457 --> 00:06:02,191
Is it weird that all
your songs are about Nathaniel?
174
00:06:02,193 --> 00:06:05,060
No, because that's not true.
175
00:06:05,062 --> 00:06:07,930
I'm writing one right now that's about you.
176
00:06:07,932 --> 00:06:09,231
I just haven't finished it yet.
177
00:06:09,233 --> 00:06:10,933
Well, I look forward to opening
178
00:06:10,935 --> 00:06:12,902
your gift of music with my ears.
179
00:06:12,904 --> 00:06:14,436
In the meantime,
180
00:06:14,438 --> 00:06:16,539
I can think
of a couple things you can open.
181
00:06:16,541 --> 00:06:19,842
Not now, Samantha, you've got work to do.
182
00:06:19,844 --> 00:06:22,344
Songs don't write themselves.
[strums guitar]
183
00:06:22,346 --> 00:06:25,281
[upbeat music]
184
00:06:25,283 --> 00:06:34,056
185
00:06:34,058 --> 00:06:35,357
You must be Nate.
186
00:06:35,359 --> 00:06:36,892
- Hey.
- I'm Hannah.
187
00:06:36,894 --> 00:06:39,562
Wow, you look exactly like
your profile picture.
188
00:06:39,564 --> 00:06:41,931
Thank you.
189
00:06:41,933 --> 00:06:43,032
I hope you're hungry.
190
00:06:43,034 --> 00:06:44,800
Oh, yeah.
191
00:06:44,802 --> 00:06:47,970
So what you see
is what you're gonna get
192
00:06:47,972 --> 00:06:50,372
You say you ain't got the time
193
00:06:50,374 --> 00:06:52,041
To toe along the perfect line
194
00:06:52,043 --> 00:06:55,678
So what I see is what I'm gonna get
195
00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:57,746
Just keep it, keep it groovin'
196
00:06:57,748 --> 00:06:59,281
Keep it, keep it groovin'
197
00:06:59,283 --> 00:07:01,250
Keep it, keep it groovin'
198
00:07:01,252 --> 00:07:04,520
All you got to do is keep it,
keep it groovin'
199
00:07:04,522 --> 00:07:06,155
Keep it, keep it groovin'
200
00:07:06,157 --> 00:07:08,057
Keep it, keep it groovin'
201
00:07:08,059 --> 00:07:10,059
One, two, three, hey
202
00:07:10,061 --> 00:07:11,360
203
00:07:11,362 --> 00:07:12,962
[record scratch]
204
00:07:12,964 --> 00:07:15,898
Doin' all you got to do
205
00:07:15,900 --> 00:07:17,700
All you got to do
206
00:07:17,702 --> 00:07:19,335
Here, the check.
207
00:07:19,337 --> 00:07:20,836
Oh, you don't have to do that.
208
00:07:20,838 --> 00:07:22,171
Don't be silly. It's a first date.
209
00:07:22,173 --> 00:07:23,405
I'm not letting you pay.
210
00:07:23,407 --> 00:07:25,241
No, no, no. We're not paying.
211
00:07:25,243 --> 00:07:28,177
Just keep it, keep it groovin'
212
00:07:28,179 --> 00:07:29,879
All you got to do
213
00:07:29,881 --> 00:07:32,147
Can I get another copy of that check?
214
00:07:32,149 --> 00:07:33,249
Keep it groovin', baby
215
00:07:33,251 --> 00:07:35,317
[sighs]
216
00:07:35,319 --> 00:07:36,919
Keep it, keep it groovin'
217
00:07:36,921 --> 00:07:39,922
- Hey!
- Hey, buddy! How's your dating?
218
00:07:39,924 --> 00:07:42,024
Oh, not good.
219
00:07:42,026 --> 00:07:44,994
I went out with tons of women
who seemed all wrong for me,
220
00:07:44,996 --> 00:07:47,329
and it turns out
they were all wrong for me.
221
00:07:47,331 --> 00:07:49,598
So stick a fork in me, because I'm done.
222
00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:52,268
No, no, no, wait. Give us one more chance.
223
00:07:52,270 --> 00:07:53,335
You haven't seen Annie.
224
00:07:53,337 --> 00:07:54,503
Annie?
225
00:07:54,505 --> 00:07:56,138
Scoot, scoot, scoot, scoot.
226
00:07:56,140 --> 00:07:58,274
You got forked without me?
227
00:07:58,276 --> 00:07:59,875
But this was our thing!
228
00:07:59,877 --> 00:08:02,544
Well, you were brewing. I was bored, and...
229
00:08:02,546 --> 00:08:05,047
Wow, you sure you want me
to go out with a girl
230
00:08:05,049 --> 00:08:06,815
who lists sex as an interest?
231
00:08:06,817 --> 00:08:10,653
At least she didn't list it
as an occupation, right?
232
00:08:10,655 --> 00:08:12,154
Look, she's hot, she's different,
233
00:08:12,156 --> 00:08:13,689
and she's getting her master's degree.
234
00:08:13,691 --> 00:08:15,524
She looks familiar.
235
00:08:15,526 --> 00:08:18,160
Oh, no. I'm not going out with
someone you already slept with.
236
00:08:18,162 --> 00:08:20,629
No, from something else.
237
00:08:20,631 --> 00:08:22,765
Definitely didn't sleep with her.
238
00:08:22,767 --> 00:08:25,234
Not that I wouldn't. I totally would.
239
00:08:26,704 --> 00:08:28,103
If I were you.
240
00:08:28,105 --> 00:08:29,939
But I am me.
241
00:08:29,941 --> 00:08:32,508
And the only person I totally
would with is my girlfriend,
242
00:08:32,510 --> 00:08:34,076
even if she got forked without me.
243
00:08:34,078 --> 00:08:35,511
Okay, so we are all in agreement
244
00:08:35,513 --> 00:08:36,946
that Nate should go out with Annie.
245
00:08:36,948 --> 00:08:38,180
In an hour.
246
00:08:38,182 --> 00:08:40,249
- Wait, now?
- Whoa, wow, wow.
247
00:08:40,251 --> 00:08:42,117
I'm sorry, it's just she was really pushing
248
00:08:42,119 --> 00:08:44,286
to meet me... us... you.
249
00:08:44,288 --> 00:08:47,256
And she's kind of on her way
to Ruby Jewel's right now.
250
00:08:47,258 --> 00:08:48,757
I know I should have told you sooner.
251
00:08:48,759 --> 00:08:50,125
Both: Yes, you should have.
252
00:08:50,127 --> 00:08:51,794
Look, if this doesn't work out,
253
00:08:51,796 --> 00:08:57,132
I will never set you up again, ever, eh?
254
00:08:57,134 --> 00:08:59,335
Eh?
255
00:08:59,337 --> 00:09:00,970
Yeah, fine. Deal.
256
00:09:00,972 --> 00:09:04,006
Yay! Yay, we did it again!
257
00:09:04,008 --> 00:09:05,207
Hashtag!
258
00:09:05,209 --> 00:09:08,277
Teamwork-ish.
259
00:09:08,279 --> 00:09:12,214
[upbeat music]
260
00:09:12,216 --> 00:09:14,350
I'm having a really good time.
261
00:09:14,352 --> 00:09:15,918
Not that I thought I wouldn't,
262
00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:18,487
but, well, I kind of thought I wouldn't.
263
00:09:18,489 --> 00:09:20,689
Yeah, I've had a lot of bad dates too.
264
00:09:20,691 --> 00:09:22,391
This is...
265
00:09:22,393 --> 00:09:23,792
Refreshing.
266
00:09:23,794 --> 00:09:25,561
Yeah.
267
00:09:25,563 --> 00:09:29,898
So tell me more.
Are you close with your parents?
268
00:09:29,900 --> 00:09:31,633
Um...
269
00:09:31,635 --> 00:09:33,602
Did I strike a nerve?
270
00:09:33,604 --> 00:09:37,106
No, it's... it's just not
really first date fare.
271
00:09:37,108 --> 00:09:39,174
Oh, who cares about dating rules?
272
00:09:39,176 --> 00:09:41,210
Let's live dangerously.
273
00:09:41,212 --> 00:09:43,312
My dad's in jail. Your turn.
274
00:09:43,314 --> 00:09:45,647
My parents are getting divorced.
275
00:09:45,649 --> 00:09:48,617
My mom got remarried to my dad's dad.
276
00:09:48,619 --> 00:09:51,186
Well, my mom's dating my best friend.
277
00:09:51,188 --> 00:09:53,422
They have sex in my house.
278
00:09:53,424 --> 00:09:57,659
Is it weird that
weird family stuff turns me on?
279
00:09:57,661 --> 00:10:01,530
[both moaning] [horn honks]
280
00:10:01,532 --> 00:10:03,565
Do you have protection?
281
00:10:03,567 --> 00:10:05,100
Uh, sort of.
282
00:10:05,102 --> 00:10:07,369
Never mind.
283
00:10:07,371 --> 00:10:09,938
Pick a flavor.
284
00:10:09,940 --> 00:10:11,907
Am I gonna taste it?
285
00:10:16,230 --> 00:10:18,263
What did I do last night?
286
00:10:18,265 --> 00:10:20,699
Ahh, it's funny you should ask.
287
00:10:20,801 --> 00:10:23,034
I had the best sex ever!
288
00:10:23,036 --> 00:10:24,503
Mm.
289
00:10:24,505 --> 00:10:26,104
In the Tesla.
290
00:10:26,106 --> 00:10:27,706
Did you do it in the frunk or the trunk?
291
00:10:27,708 --> 00:10:31,076
Oh, a gentleman does not kiss and tell.
292
00:10:31,078 --> 00:10:32,711
So I'll tell you everything else we did.
293
00:10:32,713 --> 00:10:33,879
Mm!
294
00:10:33,881 --> 00:10:37,082
- Jimm it felt so good.
- Oh.
295
00:10:37,084 --> 00:10:39,651
She made me feel... electric.
296
00:10:39,653 --> 00:10:41,052
[grunting]
297
00:10:41,054 --> 00:10:43,555
[laughs] I'm so proud of you, buddy!
298
00:10:43,557 --> 00:10:48,193
I mean, it was like
she knew every move in the book.
299
00:10:48,195 --> 00:10:51,029
Oh, my gosh. You're up!
How did it go last night?
300
00:10:51,031 --> 00:10:53,265
- It went very well, Mom.
- Very well.
301
00:10:53,267 --> 00:10:55,500
I even told her about you
guys, and she didn't freak out.
302
00:10:55,502 --> 00:10:57,269
And we're having dinner at Lincoln tonight,
303
00:10:57,271 --> 00:10:58,804
and she said she'd love to meet you both.
304
00:10:58,806 --> 00:11:00,172
Wow, you're really going for it.
305
00:11:00,174 --> 00:11:01,406
I'd love to meet her too.
306
00:11:01,408 --> 00:11:03,108
Okay, then I'll give her a call,
307
00:11:03,110 --> 00:11:05,277
and you guys can swing by for a drink.
308
00:11:05,279 --> 00:11:07,112
But one drink.
309
00:11:07,114 --> 00:11:08,380
- All right.
- Okay.
310
00:11:08,382 --> 00:11:09,815
- [gasps]
- Ah!
311
00:11:09,817 --> 00:11:11,416
Teamwork! [Laughs]
312
00:11:11,418 --> 00:11:14,920
So I remembered
why Annie looked so familiar.
313
00:11:14,922 --> 00:11:15,887
Why?
314
00:11:15,889 --> 00:11:18,590
[clears throat]
315
00:11:18,592 --> 00:11:19,958
Oh, my God.
316
00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:21,960
I set my baby up with a porn star?
317
00:11:21,962 --> 00:11:22,961
She's an amateur.
318
00:11:22,963 --> 00:11:24,262
I have to tell him.
319
00:11:24,264 --> 00:11:25,964
No, no, no. You can't tell him.
320
00:11:25,966 --> 00:11:28,233
If he finds out she does porn,
he will never see her again,
321
00:11:28,235 --> 00:11:30,001
and he's just starting
to come out of his shell.
322
00:11:30,003 --> 00:11:31,369
And, remember, we did this
323
00:11:31,371 --> 00:11:33,472
so Nate would meet someone different.
324
00:11:33,474 --> 00:11:34,973
She's different.
325
00:11:34,975 --> 00:11:37,909
There is different, and there's porn.
326
00:11:37,911 --> 00:11:40,111
Oh, relax, Mom.
327
00:11:40,113 --> 00:11:41,546
Never call me Mom.
328
00:11:41,548 --> 00:11:43,648
Okay. Let this play out naturally.
329
00:11:43,650 --> 00:11:45,617
And I'm sure Annie will tell him
330
00:11:45,619 --> 00:11:48,320
in her own time, when it's right.
331
00:11:48,322 --> 00:11:52,057
And if she doesn't, Nate will
work it out when she does that.
332
00:11:52,059 --> 00:11:53,959
- Wow.
- We are on for tonight.
333
00:11:53,961 --> 00:11:56,194
Just swing by, say hello.
It'll be a quickie.
334
00:11:56,196 --> 00:11:58,697
Honey, you know, we have
something to tell you...
335
00:11:58,699 --> 00:12:00,131
We are excited about a quickie.
336
00:12:00,133 --> 00:12:01,900
I just want to say
that you guys were right,
337
00:12:01,902 --> 00:12:03,802
so thank you for pushing me.
338
00:12:03,804 --> 00:12:06,137
I was really uptight, but with
AnniAn I'm finally relaxing.
339
00:12:06,139 --> 00:12:07,873
So I'll see you tonight. All right?
340
00:12:07,875 --> 00:12:10,141
Ba-da-pa. Ba-da-pa!
341
00:12:10,143 --> 00:12:11,743
- See, I told you.
- Oh, my God.
342
00:12:11,745 --> 00:12:12,878
Hashtag...
343
00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:14,279
This isn't over.
344
00:12:14,281 --> 00:12:17,782
[gentle guitar strumming]
345
00:12:17,784 --> 00:12:19,217
Oh, sorry.
346
00:12:19,219 --> 00:12:20,452
No, you're fine. You're fine.
347
00:12:20,454 --> 00:12:21,686
Keep your feet up.
348
00:12:21,688 --> 00:12:25,490
Dirty desk, dirty table, who cares?
349
00:12:25,492 --> 00:12:28,226
Okay, are you stoned again?
350
00:12:28,228 --> 00:12:29,995
Stoned on sex.
351
00:12:29,997 --> 00:12:32,597
Or high on sex.
I don't really know drug lingo.
352
00:12:32,599 --> 00:12:36,601
But I had the best sex of my life...
353
00:12:37,804 --> 00:12:39,304
In my dad's car.
354
00:12:39,306 --> 00:12:41,206
Wow, I didn't think that was your thing.
355
00:12:41,208 --> 00:12:42,774
Yeah, well, you know.
356
00:12:42,776 --> 00:12:46,278
Old Nate... he would have
put down a protective sheet.
357
00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:49,748
But new Nate... Oh, he went with it.
358
00:12:49,750 --> 00:12:51,182
Thrice.
359
00:12:51,184 --> 00:12:53,051
Okay.
360
00:12:53,053 --> 00:12:57,055
Well, new Sam is writing a song
about her feelings for Atticus.
361
00:12:57,057 --> 00:12:58,657
So...
362
00:13:00,894 --> 00:13:02,894
Oh, okay.
363
00:13:02,896 --> 00:13:06,665
It's not ready yet, but, um...
[clears throat]
364
00:13:06,667 --> 00:13:10,702
Atticus, oh, Atticus
365
00:13:10,704 --> 00:13:14,072
You make me feel so
366
00:13:14,074 --> 00:13:16,942
Atticus
367
00:13:18,579 --> 00:13:19,644
[claps lightly]
368
00:13:19,646 --> 00:13:20,879
It's not bad.
369
00:13:20,881 --> 00:13:22,981
But who's the song about?
370
00:13:22,983 --> 00:13:24,516
Took me seven hours to write that.
371
00:13:24,518 --> 00:13:26,585
- I'm sorry.
- Why is it so hard?
372
00:13:26,587 --> 00:13:28,386
That's what Annie said last night.
373
00:13:28,388 --> 00:13:29,955
She was confused why you were hard?
374
00:13:29,957 --> 00:13:32,390
No, just thought maybe now that I was,
375
00:13:32,392 --> 00:13:34,326
you know, hooking up in cars...
376
00:13:34,328 --> 00:13:35,760
[chuckles] I could be the kind of guy
377
00:13:35,762 --> 00:13:36,962
who makes those kind of jokes.
378
00:13:36,964 --> 00:13:38,730
- No.
- No?
379
00:13:38,732 --> 00:13:40,966
Just like dating Atticus does
not make me the kind of girl
380
00:13:40,968 --> 00:13:42,867
who can write songs about her feelings.
381
00:13:42,869 --> 00:13:44,569
Eh, at least I'm trying.
382
00:13:44,571 --> 00:13:46,838
You are. You're trying. We're both growing.
383
00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:49,374
- Me? Like, 6 inches...
- Uhuh.
384
00:13:49,376 --> 00:13:51,109
You know, I regretted that immediately.
385
00:13:51,111 --> 00:13:52,544
Yep, me too.
386
00:13:52,546 --> 00:13:58,083
You make me feel so glad-icus
387
00:13:58,085 --> 00:13:59,084
Hey!
388
00:13:59,086 --> 00:14:02,020
[upbeat music]
389
00:14:02,022 --> 00:14:03,888
390
00:14:03,890 --> 00:14:04,856
[laughter]
391
00:14:04,858 --> 00:14:06,491
- Ahem.
- Oh, hey!
392
00:14:06,493 --> 00:14:09,527
Annie, this is my mom, Lydia.
393
00:14:09,529 --> 00:14:10,795
- Hi.
- And this is Jimmy,
394
00:14:10,797 --> 00:14:11,997
my best friend/her boyfriend.
395
00:14:11,999 --> 00:14:13,598
A multi-hyphenate. Great to meet you.
396
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:15,000
Will you join us for dinner?
397
00:14:15,002 --> 00:14:16,167
- No...
- Oh, yes. We'd love to.
398
00:14:16,169 --> 00:14:17,168
Oh, no, they were j... Oh.
399
00:14:17,170 --> 00:14:19,704
Yes. Oh, yes.
400
00:14:22,843 --> 00:14:24,776
[chuckles]
401
00:14:24,778 --> 00:14:26,444
This restaurant is amazing.
402
00:14:26,446 --> 00:14:28,079
You must be so proud.
403
00:14:28,081 --> 00:14:31,716
Yes. It's nice to see Nate's hard, smart,
404
00:14:31,718 --> 00:14:33,284
legitimate work pay off.
405
00:14:33,286 --> 00:14:35,220
I love it when my hard work
pays off at my job too.
406
00:14:35,222 --> 00:14:36,621
Oh, we don't need to get into that.
407
00:14:36,623 --> 00:14:37,956
Tell us about it.
408
00:14:37,958 --> 00:14:39,658
Well, when things are hard,
409
00:14:39,660 --> 00:14:44,095
I just push myself
that much more until, boom!
410
00:14:44,097 --> 00:14:46,464
Students with special needs
can read because of me.
411
00:14:46,466 --> 00:14:48,366
She's a teacher!
412
00:14:48,368 --> 00:14:50,869
Babe, aren't you so happy
we're getting to know Annie?
413
00:14:50,871 --> 00:14:52,170
I'm also a tech geek.
414
00:14:52,172 --> 00:14:53,838
I know more about the Tesla than this guy.
415
00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:56,141
Yeah.
416
00:14:56,143 --> 00:14:59,277
So you would know how
to upload amateur videos online.
417
00:15:00,847 --> 00:15:03,148
That's a random thing to ask.
418
00:15:03,150 --> 00:15:04,849
We love amateur videos.
419
00:15:04,851 --> 00:15:06,284
We actually made one ourselves.
420
00:15:06,286 --> 00:15:07,786
No, that was for private use.
421
00:15:07,788 --> 00:15:09,320
Guys... [nervous laughter]
422
00:15:09,322 --> 00:15:11,189
You know, it must have been hard for you
423
00:15:11,191 --> 00:15:13,324
to reinvent yourself after your separation.
424
00:15:13,326 --> 00:15:15,827
I admire your courage.
425
00:15:15,829 --> 00:15:19,831
Moving past your past is not easy.
426
00:15:19,833 --> 00:15:22,167
Well, thank you. That was very nice.
427
00:15:22,169 --> 00:15:24,135
I'm trying to reinvent myself too.
428
00:15:24,137 --> 00:15:25,670
But it's tough for people to see
429
00:15:25,672 --> 00:15:27,972
that I'm more than just my amateur videos.
430
00:15:29,609 --> 00:15:31,209
Well, I... it's just, I...
431
00:15:31,211 --> 00:15:33,178
I get it, you're looking out for your son.
432
00:15:33,180 --> 00:15:36,347
Who is very confused. What videos?
433
00:15:36,349 --> 00:15:37,682
I have to pee.
434
00:15:37,684 --> 00:15:39,484
I'll let your mom explain everything.
435
00:15:44,224 --> 00:15:46,357
[nervous laughter]
436
00:15:46,359 --> 00:15:48,426
What the hell is going on?
437
00:15:48,428 --> 00:15:50,128
Nothing! It's not a big deal.
438
00:15:50,130 --> 00:15:52,864
It seems like a pretty big deal. Jimmy?
439
00:15:52,866 --> 00:15:56,101
[laughs] It's a funny story, actually.
440
00:15:56,103 --> 00:15:58,269
La-de-da. La-de-da.
441
00:15:58,271 --> 00:16:00,872
Annie does some porn.
442
00:16:00,874 --> 00:16:03,208
What?
443
00:16:05,112 --> 00:16:06,711
You set me up with a porn star?
444
00:16:06,713 --> 00:16:08,113
She's more of a character actress.
445
00:16:08,115 --> 00:16:09,314
Why didn't you tell me?
446
00:16:09,316 --> 00:16:10,682
She wanted to. I told her not to.
447
00:16:10,684 --> 00:16:12,283
But he was right.
448
00:16:12,285 --> 00:16:14,185
He was right. I...
449
00:16:14,187 --> 00:16:16,888
I didn't give her a chance,
and I judged her like a mom.
450
00:16:16,890 --> 00:16:20,024
And she actually seems
really nice. I'm sorry.
451
00:16:20,026 --> 00:16:22,761
- So nice.
- Yeah.
452
00:16:22,763 --> 00:16:24,529
I'm sorry for breaking up our team.
453
00:16:24,531 --> 00:16:26,364
You were being protective and responsible.
454
00:16:26,366 --> 00:16:27,398
Yeah.
455
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:28,433
I love that about you.
456
00:16:28,435 --> 00:16:29,667
Yes. Thank you for saying that.
457
00:16:29,669 --> 00:16:30,869
We all make mistakes, and...
458
00:16:30,871 --> 00:16:32,470
- It was...
- You grow, I grow.
459
00:16:32,472 --> 00:16:34,172
I don't even know
if it was really a mistake.
460
00:16:34,174 --> 00:16:35,707
I was just waiting... No, you're right.
461
00:16:35,709 --> 00:16:37,408
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great. Okay?
462
00:16:37,410 --> 00:16:39,577
Are we done with the cheesy
apologies? Because porn...
463
00:16:39,579 --> 00:16:41,980
- She does porn!
- Oh, it's not a big deal.
464
00:16:41,982 --> 00:16:44,282
Except for her last video,
called "It's a Big Deal."
465
00:16:44,284 --> 00:16:45,917
Biggest deal I've ever seen.
466
00:16:45,919 --> 00:16:47,752
I don't bowl because I can't wear shoes
467
00:16:47,754 --> 00:16:49,454
that have had too many feet in them.
468
00:16:49,456 --> 00:16:51,256
How many videos has she...
No, don't tell me.
469
00:16:51,258 --> 00:16:53,291
No! I need to know. I have to look her up.
470
00:16:53,293 --> 00:16:54,692
Where's my phone? Where's my phone?
471
00:16:54,694 --> 00:16:56,594
- No, um...
- Where's my...
472
00:16:58,965 --> 00:17:01,332
She stole my phone,
and she's stealing dad's Tesla!
473
00:17:01,334 --> 00:17:04,335
Oh, no! No!
474
00:17:04,337 --> 00:17:05,670
[shouts]
475
00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:09,760
And that all happened in the Tesla?
476
00:17:09,762 --> 00:17:11,895
- Yes.
- Impressive.
477
00:17:11,897 --> 00:17:13,530
So does this Annie have a last name?
478
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:17,467
Well, they don't list
last names on Get Forked.
479
00:17:17,469 --> 00:17:19,536
It's the dating app where my mom found her.
480
00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:21,805
She sometimes goes by "Annie Hole."
481
00:17:21,807 --> 00:17:23,673
Wow, you stuck
your Woody Allen in Annie Hole?
482
00:17:23,675 --> 00:17:25,075
Good for you.
483
00:17:25,277 --> 00:17:27,010
There's nothing good about this.
484
00:17:27,012 --> 00:17:29,279
Relax, kid. You're insured.
485
00:17:29,281 --> 00:17:30,847
I've seen her videos,
486
00:17:30,849 --> 00:17:33,016
and a night with her is well
worth the cost of admission.
487
00:17:33,018 --> 00:17:34,684
Which is nothing, because you're insured!
488
00:17:34,686 --> 00:17:35,885
You got ofeasy.
489
00:17:35,887 --> 00:17:40,256
Based on those videos, real easy.
490
00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:44,527
I like that cop.
491
00:17:44,529 --> 00:17:46,096
Look, I may be insured, but I still...
492
00:17:46,098 --> 00:17:47,230
[phone ringing] - [gasps]
493
00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:48,598
Oh, my God. It's her!
494
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:49,966
I mean, it's you! It's her!
495
00:17:49,968 --> 00:17:51,735
Oh!
496
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:53,269
Annie? Where the hell are you?
497
00:17:53,271 --> 00:17:55,772
I'm sorry, Nate. I really am.
498
00:17:55,774 --> 00:17:57,273
Apologies don't make up for the fact
499
00:17:57,275 --> 00:17:58,975
that you're a porn star car thief!
500
00:17:58,977 --> 00:18:01,277
I'm just trying to pay my way
through grad school.
501
00:18:01,279 --> 00:18:02,679
You know how I feel
502
00:18:02,681 --> 00:18:04,447
about teaching adults with special needs.
503
00:18:04,449 --> 00:18:06,149
I did this for them.
504
00:18:06,151 --> 00:18:07,550
For their reading.
505
00:18:07,552 --> 00:18:08,918
But I really did like you.
506
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:10,420
Really?
507
00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:12,589
In another life,
this could have been something.
508
00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:14,024
A little advice, though.
509
00:18:14,026 --> 00:18:15,558
Maybe don't post pictures of yourself
510
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:18,294
in a $150,000 car on the Internet.
511
00:18:18,296 --> 00:18:20,764
Might attract the wrong kind of girl.
512
00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:24,000
[engine roars]
513
00:18:24,002 --> 00:18:25,268
- She hung up.
- Oh.
514
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:26,936
Oh, God.
515
00:18:26,938 --> 00:18:28,938
Oh, honey. I'm so sorry.
This is all my fault.
516
00:18:28,940 --> 00:18:31,141
I never should have gotten
involved in your love life.
517
00:18:31,143 --> 00:18:32,275
No, no. It's mine too.
518
00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:34,077
We pushed too hard,
519
00:18:34,079 --> 00:18:37,547
and I guess the worst thing
that could happen is really bad.
520
00:18:37,549 --> 00:18:38,982
I don't know. Maybe the cop's right.
521
00:18:38,984 --> 00:18:40,350
I did get off easy.
522
00:18:40,352 --> 00:18:41,785
I'm glad that you see it that way,
523
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:43,620
because I just wanted you
to keep an open mind
524
00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:45,255
and try something different.
525
00:18:45,257 --> 00:18:49,025
Yeah, because it worked out
well for you guys. I know.
526
00:18:49,027 --> 00:18:50,593
Now how about we go get me tested?
527
00:18:50,595 --> 00:18:52,262
I've already made an appointment. Come on.
528
00:18:52,264 --> 00:18:53,296
- Very good.
- Oh, Mom.
529
00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:54,531
- Thanks.
- Yeah, sure.
530
00:18:56,568 --> 00:19:01,271
You're the one I wanted
531
00:19:01,273 --> 00:19:07,410
I love you
532
00:19:07,412 --> 00:19:13,783
When all is said and done
533
00:19:13,785 --> 00:19:18,888
It's only you
534
00:19:21,159 --> 00:19:23,226
Huh.
535
00:19:23,228 --> 00:19:24,761
I thought it would be funnier.
536
00:19:24,763 --> 00:19:26,196
What?
537
00:19:26,198 --> 00:19:28,665
I mean, didn't you want a love song?
538
00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:30,533
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
No, no. It was lovely.
539
00:19:30,535 --> 00:19:32,335
It was lovely. I was just like...
540
00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:35,505
I guess I was looking for
something a little more, um...
541
00:19:38,343 --> 00:19:40,210
You.
542
00:19:40,212 --> 00:19:41,611
- Oh.
- Yeah.
543
00:19:41,613 --> 00:19:43,947
Well, say no more.
544
00:19:43,949 --> 00:19:46,116
You got me hooting like an owl in heat
545
00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:47,617
Whoo!
546
00:19:47,619 --> 00:19:50,053
You got a pickle bun, and I got to eat
547
00:19:50,055 --> 00:19:50,987
Oh, I love it.
548
00:19:50,989 --> 00:19:52,388
Farm grown
- Yeah!
549
00:19:52,390 --> 00:19:54,157
Let's bone
- Come here.
550
00:19:54,159 --> 00:19:56,626
A-ooh! [Laughter]
551
00:19:56,676 --> 00:20:01,226
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