All language subtitles for Second Jen s01e03 Re-Tales.eng

[knocks on door]

Hey, J-Wu, what's going on? You
got a job handing out flyers. Nice!

No, these were shoved in the mailbox
along with my "No Flyers Please" sign.

Was just, you know, here
wondering what you're doin'?

Well, it's the middle of
the day, so we're working.

- But you're home.
- Well, yeah, it's the future.

I can find profiles for my
focus groups online, Grandma.

Okay, well what about Nate?

Yeah, I watched the game online and
while his Corsi numbers are strong,

I feel like his puck handling
skills need some work.

Look, I'm not trying to tell
you how to do your job, but...

Hello? Can you hear me?

Aw, frig, it was on mute.

I hate the future.

So, I'm the only one not working.

Does that make me the slacker?

You know, in a murder situation,
I'd be the first to die.

[sighs] Look, if you want, I can get you
a job from our market research roster.

We're actually always
looking for people like you.

- Like me?
- Yeah, overeducated underachievers

who are too proud to join a focus group

because they have unrealistic
employment expectations.

You know, I thought you were gonna
say creative types with a low BMI.

- You know what? Sign me up!
- Great.

No, I mean for the too proud,
overeducated underachievers.

I did not suffer
through an honours degree

to give my opinion away for 20
bucks and digestible cookies.

Good day!

I don't actually have anywhere to
be, so I'm gonna go to my apartment.

[doors slamming]

Sync & Corrections by PetaG
www.addic7ed.com

_

[door chime rings]

Scrambled eggs, bacon, extra fatty.

I am gonna miss our
two-hour lunch break.

This corporate takeover is
the Ramsay Bolton of retail,

only you can't punch it
repeatedly in the face.

I know it sucks that
Mr. Lee retired to Bali,

but he has been replaced by
this handy employee rule book.

[laughs]

[scoffs] "Female employees
shall not wear skirts.

"Female employees shall
not wear spaghetti straps."

Please tell me female employees

can still smack the fedoras
off of smug neck beards?

We are under the
corporate microscope, okay?

We have to listen to these
people, or we could lose our jobs.

And you'll have to
eat your lunch at home

and that would suck, for me and for you.

I just need you to be on time, okay?

Why? It's just us.

Actually, starting today, we are going

to have a new member join our team.

Did you just say the word... "team"?

Yes, and if you'd like to go the
storeroom and scream about it,

you are free to take your
scheduled break early.

- Did you just say... "scheduled"?
- [door chime rings]

[sighing]

Ahem...

- I just hit our new teammate, didn't I?
- Mm-hm.

Oh. [chuckles]

I don't think you need any more bacon.

Rough day at the office?

Did you know that every entry level job

requires at least three
years of experience?

By the time we reach middle
management, I'll be a dead person.

The pot at the end of the corporate
rainbow is full of B.S., anyway.

Okay, I'm gonna say we're
talking about you now?

The store sold out, man... to "the man."

Do you think "the man" needs "a
woman" for professional services?

I'd ask, but "the man" is
a faceless conglomerate...

though I did draw a
face on the rule book.

[both laughing]

[sighs] They hired some corporate
spy to work at the store.

He's probably listening to us right now.

Please give me an interview! I
have mostly positive references.

Why don't you just ask Lewis for
help? I hear he runs focus groups.

Because I have pride.

You just asked a
non-existent spy for a job.

Point made.

_

So this is what it
feels like to be on time.

- And?
- Meh!

Oh, well, do try and maintain
a more positive outlook

around your new team member, please?

If you say "team" one more time,
I'm gonna kick you in the "member".

Look, I know you hate
change... and authority,

and anything resembling criticism.

Not as much as I hate people
listing my very few weaknesses.

[sighs]

As assistant manager, isn't
it my job to pick staff?

Not according to that very same
rule book. Remember her? [laughs]

You wipe that smug look
off your face, ya...

Look, you know I think you're awesome.

Just let him get to
know you like I know you.

I don't like him.

What's wrong with him? Alister is fine.

I don't like his name.

Alister? You don't like...

He's a video game expert.

I'm the video game expert.

Hey, Al. Al, come on over.

We were just talking with
each other about how excited

we are that you're joining
our team, right, Mo?

Go team.

Great. Okay, first
thing... my name is Alister,

not Al or Ally, or
Ster-Ster, or whatever.

I'm s-sorry. [laughs]

You can call me Mo.

Sure, okay, yeah, but the staff

list from corporate says
your name's Jennifer.

Technically, but no
one calls me Jenni...

Like Jennifer from "Primagorge,"
only less interesting.

Never played "Primagorge."

[laughs] And you let
her make "staff picks"?

Maybe we could all do this
together... moving forward.

Excuse me a moment.

- [door chime rings]
- Okay.

[muffled scream]

That's not how I'd spend my scheduled
break, but, hey, I'm the new guy, right?

Okay, so, we're gathered here
today for a very important issue.

But before we get started, Jennifer Wu,
I need you to tell us why you're here.

Lewis, you know why I'm here.

Yeah, but I-I want you to say it.

Oh, okay, fine. [exhales ]

Lewis, can you please help me get a job?

- (Nate) Ooh.
- No!

That's the first thing. You don't
ever ask for a job, literally.

- You just told me to...
- [sighs] This is gonna be a big challenge.

- It's not gonna be a walk in the park.
- No, it's not.

Okay, I don't think I'm a big challenge.

- Shh shh shh... shut up.
- Not a small challenge.

True. But here's what's gonna happen.

Normally, I have a much
larger team working with me,

but I'm blessed to
have Nate Dog with me.

He represents the strength of ten men.

And also, I bring muffins.

Now what Lew is trying to say here

is that we actually think that
this overhaul could be a good thing.

I know it really helped
me with my internship.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Now we're gonna ask
you one simple question,

and be honest... how's your LinkedIn?

Good!

Okay, I tried, but the CAPTCHA
code was really hard to read.

[scoffs]

Ah! No, no, no, no!

Muffins are for closers only.

[sighing]

(Nate) They're double chocolate chip.

- What are you doing?
- [tape measure snaps]

My job, Jennifer.

This may seem like a
foreign concept to you.

Okay, your job is not
to measure the racks.

No, it is my job to adhere to the rules,

and I've noticed a few violations
around here. For example, this rack...

- it is 7 feet high.
- So?

So, it is supposed to be 11 feet high.

Okay, I'm barely five feet tall,
so if we had an 11-foot rack,

- I would not be able to reach it.
- Ha!

I've kind of noticed that you
do seem to have room to grow.

Does the rule book say anything about
criticizing your assistant manager?

Actually, yes, it does.

It says that if you notice
someone in a superior position

performing at an inferior
level, that's you,

it is your duty to report them.

Interesting, and what does it say about

new employees getting
accidentally crushed

by 7-foot racks with no witnesses?

Ooh, uh, nothing about that, but it
does say that any threat from a superior

should be considered harassment and
should be filed with your HR rep.

Well, we don't have an HR rep.

[chuckling] We actually we do. It's me.

I nominated myself, Garth seconded.

It was a small ceremony,
light refreshments were served.

Oh, consider this a warning.

[measuring tape snaps]

[laughs] Five feet.

What?!

_

_

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I got
an interview! I got an interview!

- Oh, my God!
- Well...

Nate, you are a r?sum? overhaul genius!

- For what? For when? Details, woman!
- Okay, um...

it's a commercial account
manager for a... a tech company.

Job may require travel.
Oh, my God, travel!

And I'm gonna be doing
an interview with...

a computer?

Oh, fantastic!

So, instead of talking to a
real person, you talk to an app,

and they send you questions,

and you record your answers,
so they can watch it later.

So, everything I say and all my
expressions are gonna be recorded?

- Yeah.
- How is that good?

[inhales]

Well, you won't have to worry about

the strength of your handshake
when you're meeting a new person.

Who worries about that?

Mmmm, shake his hand.

Yeah, it's like shaking the
plastic bag from "American Beauty."

Okay, it's carpal tunnel
and it's a serious issue.

Jen, don't worry, okay?

This interview on a computer
thing is actually a good thing.

It allows us to control
the way they see you.

I'm talking about set decoration,
wardrobe, lighting, props...

- Mmmm.
- Oh, that's the costume jewellery

my mom bought in Hong Kong.

I hid it for a reason... it's gaudy.

What are you talking about? This
is bold and screams of confidence.

All right, now how do I talk to a bot?

Well, it's like any other
interview situation, except,

well, instead of a human,
it's a cold, lifeless computer.

Now let's rehearse.

Jen Wu, why do you think
you'd be good at this job?

Well, um, I... I'm
pretty good with numbers,

and I guess I'm okay
with handling clients.

Jen, you've so many
other amazing qualities.

Yeah, talk about yourself
like Nate talks about ya.

Well, you know what? It's easier
for you guys to brag. You're dudes.

Your gender hasn't gone
through foot binding.

I kinda know what she's talking
about. I bought some shoes online

and they were a size and a half too
small. Just the, uh, the blisters...

- Gross.
- [bicycle bell tings]

[door chime rings]

Whoa! K-Karen Chen?

Mo? You still work here?

Do Fraggles rock?

They do.

Do you still work at Steak Away?

Uh, no, not since we were in
high school. I'm a doctor now.

But I thought you were dumb.

- Me, too. It turns out I just had mono.
- Oh.

I'm a gynecologista.

I added the "A" at
the end just for funs.

- So, what are you up to?
- Uh... I'm in management now.

I'm actually training a new,
probably human, employee.

Wow. Don't let me get in the way.

Oh, you cannot get in the way.
You're a potential valuable customer.

Yes, I am engaged. Three carats.

[sing-songy] Princess cut.

- Choke on a trash panda, Karen.
- Whoa!

Jennifer, that is not very friendly.

Congratulations. He must be
a very lucky man or woman.

Or non-binary gendered human being.

'Kay, so, once you've scanned all the

- items...
- Item.

Once you scan all the item,

you press F12 and that'll
open the payment screen.

This game's actually really crazy.

It was designed by Suda
51 and George A. Romero,

- Mmm, yeah, nope. [scoffs]
- so...

George A. Romero didn't design the
game, he just helped write the script.

- It's the same thing.
- Oh, wow, not the same thing at all,

[chuckles] actually.

Unless you disrespect the
process of creating video games.

[chuckles] I... I definitely respect it.

I'm just trying to
make nice conversation.

Looks like the student's
become the teacher.

Yeah, you know what, actually? How
about I show you some better games?

I can, uh, make up for what, uh,
Jennifer lacks in the taste department.

Come around this way.

[case clatters]

Whoops!

_

Hey. [sighs] So, they want us to
change every price ending in .95 to .96.

So, that's like 200 price changes and
we don't even have the penny anymore,

and you're not listening to
me. You've got your mad face on.

- What's... what's going on?
- Garth, can you please talk to Alister?

He's really pushing all
this corporate policy stuff.

You can't really criticize the
guy for following the rules.

Half these rules don't
even apply to our store.

Okay, we're supposed to put
staff picks on the second floor,

and in case you haven't noticed,

this one-storey establishment
needs to obey the laws of reality.

You're just gonna have
to have to deal with it.

I guess we're just
gonna have to fire him.

We're not gonna fi...

[laughs]

We're not gonna fire Alister, okay?

We fire Alister, he just gets
replaced by some other guy,

who's also got a name you hate.

The... Aiden. Jayden. Brayden.

Any name ending with
"den", they got 'em.

This place used to be like home.

It used to be ours.

Now it just feels like a job.

They've got a business to run.

That doesn't change the
fact that this is stupid

and they're stupid, and, you know what?

- I just wanna say it again...
- Stupid.

- Stupid!
- That's good.

That's good. Oh, great. Fantastic.

You work here, you do kn...

[heavy sigh]

You work here, too, Alister.

My middle name's Brayden.

-

"What is my educational background?"

- [clears throat]
- [inhales deeply]

Well, I graduated from
U of T with a 4.0 GPA,

showing that I am highly intelligent
and would be an asset to your company.

[inhales deeply]

Okay, [exhales] what my
greatest weakness is...

I'm a perfectionist.

I need things to be done right,

even if it means working 'til
it's medically inadvisable...

which shows my willingness
to go the extra mile,

like the time I led the
24-hour famine in high school,

inspiring people to go 26 hours.

Only three people fainted!

All right [sighs], "What excites
you about working in commerce?"

[inhales]

- [silently] What?
- [silently] Say something.

-

[slams laptop cover]

[guys sighing]

That was...

[chuckles]

[Lewis sighs]

But...

[sighing]

Okay, Alister, we need to talk attitude.

We do need to talk attitude.
I do not like your attitude.

Excuse me?

You have no respect for the rules.

[inhales deeply]

Okay, look, you're new here, so
I'm going to cut you some slack...

I mean, there's the shelf height.

There's the lacklustre customer service,

if you're calling it
that... that's a reach...

and look at your outfit.

What's wrong with my outfit?

What is wrong with your outfit?

Okay, how about I tell you
what's wrong with your...

"Female staff shall not
wear spaghetti straps.

"Female staff shall not wear skirts."

Dude, it's like 30 degrees out.
If I could be naked, I would be.

- Are you coming onto me?
- What?

"Employees shall not
discuss their naked bodies."

Hey, guys, clothes on
in the workplace, okay?

Love it. Keep... keep it up.

Listen, Alister...

Okay, we're going to get
you a Beta Games golf shirt

so you can stop forcing your
d?colletage upon mine eyes, Jennifer!

- My name is Mo!
- [gasps]

[both groaning]

My parents immigrated
to give me a better life,

spent all their money on my education,

so that I could get a
degree in a subject I hate.

I'm about to get fired for
physical and sexual harassment.

- What?
- Jen, can we go to our happy place?

Yeah.

Yep, this blanket fort's nicer
than our actual apartment.

Mo, I think this is a sign.

I know. The burn mark on this
muffin totally looks like Jesus.

No. The situation. Your
situation at the store.

It is time to move on.

We can start over again together.

You're too good to
still be working retail.

Come again?

You've been working there forever.
But what do you really want to do?

We can't waste any more time in our
lives not going after what we want.

Great talk... for you.

Jen, do you even know
how the economy works?

Yeah, you go to university, graduate,
get a career, then a house...

You do know all the entry level jobs

were replaced with computers
or shipped overseas right?

Your interviewer wasn't even human.

Retail's the new factory
and I'm lucky to have a job.

Then why won't you apologize
to the guy you book-slapped?

Because he's stupid...

and so am I.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

I'm sorry, Jesus muffin, you're
more delicious than you are holy.

_

_

Look, I get that you love

- working here, but that doesn't give
- Yeah.

you permission to stay overnight.

- You know what I'm... You know...
- Wow, I'm not ask...

- I'm not asking for permission. I know.
- You haven't clocked out, okay.

Oh, okay, I need an
adult, please? All right?

Okay, these are at least fettuccine.

I mean... Al... ister.

My behaviour yesterday
was inexcusable...

and I'm sorry.

- I'm sorry?
- I'm sorry.

- [Stammering] Again?
- I'm sorry!

I love how apologies sound. [laughs]

So can you forgive me?

Umm... okay.

Really? And you'll take
back the write-up request?

Sure. Yeah, I...

I saw Captain Kirk's face in a
muffin last night. It's a sign.

You know, that guy's
starting to grow on me.

Yeah? Well, that's good, 'cause he
took down all your "staff picks."

But they're all here in a stack for
you to knock over at your own free will.

Awww...

- [cases clattering]
- I was being sarcastic.

So glad I'm not on the clock today.

Hey!

So?

Well, I no longer have dignity,

- but I do still have a job.
- [Jen chuckles]

Well, then in other good news,

Lewis got me a spot in
one of his focus groups

for millennials living
under the poverty line.

Why can't they just
call them "young people"?

I know.

- Jen, right?
- Yeah.

[chuckles] Garth. Uh,
I'm on a dinner break.

Do you guys maybe wanna join me?

- (Jen) Sure! Can I borrow some money?
- Sure.

Oh, okay, I saw some
people loitering out here

and it's a "no standing" zone.

Alister...

we were gonna to go out for some
dinner. Would you like to come with?

Oh? Are you gonna add
a word to that sentence,

or are you just... just gonna
leave that preposition dangling?

(Jen) Okay, give me the rule book.
I don't work here, so I can hit him.

Okay, I'm sorry. That was rude.

[stammering] I don't get
invited to a lot of things.

I get invited to leave
a lot of things, um...

But, no thanks, Mo, I,
uh, have a raid to lead.

He means online...?

Does he mean online?

(Jen) Yeah?

[computer chimes]

Ay! You're working so
late. Did you even eat?

Garth bought me pizzas. And,
yes, the plural is intentional.

Is the store good?

Thanks for asking.

All right manager on the
floor, what is going on here?

Ay! Guapo!

- What's that?
- My mom thinks you're hot.

Thank you.

- [chuckles]
- Nay, Jen's here, too.

Hey, Mamajun!

Hi, Jennifer! [speaking
Tagalog] So pretty!

- Can we please trade moms?
- [Mo giggles]

Trade moms? I heard that.

Maybe Mommy trade
daughters. How you like?

Mommy take Kate Middleton.

Ay Kate! I love her! She's so pretty.

(Ma) Yes, and so many small hats!

Do you think I can
pull off a small hat, or

- do you think my head too big?
- Right,

I'm the manager of this store.

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www.addic7ed.com

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