All language subtitles for Sean Saves the World s01e14 The Joy of Ex.eng

- Okay, here we go.
Which president negotiated

The Louisiana purchase?

- Let me stop you right there.

I don't care.

Because mom's coming,
and I'm too excited.

- Who is Thomas Jefferson?

- You don't need to put it
in the form of a question, mom.

And since I'm asking Ellie,
you don't even need

To put it in the form
of an answer.

Okay, honey, come on.

You have a history test
this week.

- Oh, give her a break.

I'm excited, too.
I love Jill.

She's pretty, she's smart,
she's an excellent mother.

It's like you married me, Sean.

Ellie, your father
married his mother.

- And one day, my head
is going to explode,

And when it does,
I hope it's all over you.

- Aah!

- Aah!

- Oh, my God, she's here!

- Why aren't you ever
that happy to see me?

- Because you never go away.

- Mom!
- Oh, my baby!

Oh, I missed you so much.

Oh, and who's
this fine, sexy man?

- Oh, I'm Sean,
but there's something

You should know about me.

- No, no.

Don't tell me
until I'm pregnant.

- Oh.

- That's so funny.
I love it when you guys

Joke about the fraudulent
miracle of my creation.

- Oh, Lorna, you always look

So beautiful and chic.

- And this is why I never
took you out of the will.

- Hey, seriously, can you give
my mom some tips?

All she ever wears
is a purple track suit.

- That's a shame.

Track suits are
like wheelchairs...

Once they get you in one,
you'll never get out.

- So, can you stay for dinner?

- Oh, I'd love to, but
the man whose senate campaign

I'm running has
a big fundraiser tonight.

And you know what that means?

- Free shrimp?
- Free shrimp.

- Your mom scarfs them down
like a manatee.

- Hey, Ellie,
you want to come with me?

I can introduce you
to Hillary Clinton.

- Oh, my God, Hillary Clinton?

- And free shrimp.

- Oh, can I go?
Wait, who do I ask?

Wait, mom said I could go,
so I'll ask mom.

Mom, can I go?
- Uh, yes.

And then you can stay
with me at the Drake.

We'll get sundaes
and use way too many towels

And do our nails
in the jacuzzi tub.

- I'm staying at the Drake
this weekend with Lee.

Only I'll be getting nailed
in the jacuzzi tub.

- Please, save some of
the details for the paramedics.

- So what do you say, honey?
You and me.

It'll be so much fun.

Oh, if it's okay
with your father.

- Yeah, before you decide,

I am making
my signature taco pie tonight.

The corn chip crust is never
as crispy the next day, so...

You'll want to factor that in.

- Yeah, I'll go get my stuff.

- Pack your flashcards.

Memorizing historical facts
is very important,

Even though we have Google,
so it's not.

- All those years I was the one

Nagging Ellie
about her homework.

I gotta say,
it's nice to parachute in

And be the fun parent
for a change.

Hey, maybe I'll take Ellie

And return her to you
with chicken pox.

- All right.

So you got over the gay thing,

But that you can't let go?

- I can laugh at it now.
You know why?

Because I'm the fun one.

- Oh.

- This is excellent taco pie.

If I had to make one criticism,

It's that the crust
is too mushy.

- That's because the beef
is so moist.

I said this would happen
with the corn chips,

And it did!

- So Jill showed Ellie
a great time.

- Because when Ellie
chose to live with me,

We agreed she could change
her mind

If she missed her mom.

Now Jill's back,
and she's all fun,

And I'm just Joey flashcards.
- Mm.

- Sean, Ellie's not going
to want to go back

To New York with Jill.

Right, hunter?

- She might.

I mean, look
at the girl's choices.

New York or evanston...
the city that always sleeps.

- Oh, come on, guys.
Evanston's great.

The new chipotle's beautiful.

- Sean.
My father is in town

And demands
to have a word with us.

Come, come.

- Hello, Lee. I understand
you're going to see my mom.

- Yes. Daddy has asked
that we stay out of his way

While he visits your
prenatal stomping grounds.

Right, father?
- That's right.

I don't want you bozos
screwing it up this time.

I've got my pills,
and I've been giving myself

B-12 shots for stamina
and mental acuity.

So after I pleasure your mom,

We'll be able to discuss
what happened.

- I don't think anyone
would object

If you kept some details
to yourself.

But I promise
I won't get in your way.

Between our parents, you and I
could end up as brothers,

Which might be...
Kind of nifty.

- Why do you always
have to make things weird?

- Oh.

- Why the long face, broseph?

- My ex-wife's in town,

And she's showing Ellie
the time of her life.

I mean, she met Bono last night.

- Bono... Bono.
Help me out.

Oh, that the poor magician

Who got attacked by his lions?

- Could not be more
someone else.

But if I don't find
a way to compete with Jill,

She'll lure Ellie back
to New York,

And I'll be left all alone
with crappy taco pie

And a sexually satisfied mother.

- Isn't Ellie the daughter
that likes volleyball?

- I only have one daughter.

- Oh.

What happened to Allison?

- There never was an Allison.

- I think you're mistaken,
but go on.

- So, Ellie,
the only daughter I ever had,

Loves volleyball.
Why?

- Would Ellie,
clearly your favorite,

Like to meet beach volleyball
gold medalist

Misty may-treanor?

- Misty may-treanor?

She's the reason
my only daughter, Ellie,

Got into volleyball.

- I've been in talks with her

To handle her product line,
she's in town.

I'm sure I could arrange
a meeting this afternoon.

How would you like that,
bro-diddly?

- Oh, my God,
misty may-treanor.

Ellie's going to freak out.

I'll be the fun one again.

Hey, thanks,
Eleanor bro-sevelt.

- Love it.

- Someone very special.
I don't want to oversell it,

But compared to this,
your wedding day will suck.

- Jill, it's so great
to see you!

- Oh, Lizzie.

- Oh, I'm so proud of you.

Running a senate campaign...
that's so exciting.

My big challenge this morning
was writing ad copy

For a raincoat
and trying to think

Of a different word for yellow.

- Actually,
my job is pretty exciting.

My boss has a real vision
for this country.

Except for when he's drinking,
and then it's a double vision.

- Ah-ah-ahem!

- Oh, uh,

Ladies, enough girl talk

Because, Ellie,
you are about to meet

Misty may...

Or may-not-be-here.

- There was a slight hitch.

She said, "absolutely not."

But don't worry.
You're about to meet someone

Possibly even better
and definitely very different.

- Wow.

It's...

- What the hell?

- It's beloved
local weatherman Dan drizzle

And his good friend sleety Pete.

- Eh!

- He was all I could get
on short notice.

He usually does
children's hospitals,

So if he calls Ellie
"a brave little girl,"

Just go with it.

- Hey, Ellie.

Today's forecast
is sunny with...

Smiles and a chance
of full remission!

- Hey, isn't this great, honey?

I'll bet Hillary Clinton
can't talk

Without moving her lips.

I didn't ask her when we were
discussing world hunger.

- Well, she can't, so...

- Sleety Pete,
what are you doing here?

Is somebody sick?

From this nice man
and his domestic partner,

But can I talk to you
for a moment?

- Yes.

Uh-oh!

- So what's going on?

You know Ellie's 15, right?

- Okay, look.

I got it in my head
that you might

Want to take Ellie with you
back to New York.

It's crazy, right?

Crazy, I know.

- It's not that crazy.

- Yes, it is.

- Sean, things are going
really well for me.

I've taken Larry from nowhere
to leading in the polls,

And when I get him elected,

I'll be able to do
any campaign I want.

Ellie will have access

To all kinds of amazing people.

Plus, New York would be
such an exciting place

For her to live.

- Evanston is exciting.

We have a new chipotle.

People are throwing around
the word "flagship."

- Do you hear you?

- Would I say things like that
if I could hear them?

I just don't want to lose Ellie.

- I know,
because you'd miss her.

But I miss her, too, Sean.
Every day.

- But if you take her,
then I'll miss her every day,

And it'll be worse because
it'll be happening to me.

Does she even want to go?

- I haven't asked her yet.

But I think I've got
a pretty good shot

After don dribble
and tragic Pete.

- It's Dan drizzle,
and he's a hero!

So, what, this is a contest now

To see who gets our daughter?

- You're the one turning it
into a contest.

- She lived with you
for 12 years.

I've only had her
for eight months.

My time's not up with her yet.

So stop trying to buy her
off with your glamorous life.

- You think I'm trying
to buy her off?

Wow.

- No. You wow.

- That's it?
That's your whole argument?

"Chipotle" and "you wow"?

- No.

This region is rich in culture

And natural resources.

The largest body of water
in the entire world.

- I believe
that's the pacific ocean.

- I meant the largest lake.
- It's not the largest lake.

- I meant of the Great Lakes.
- That would be lake superior.

- Oh, so you know more things
than me.

- Than "I."

- Well, "I" not giving up Ellie!

- Neither am me!

- Guys, you're missing it.

Sleety Pete is pretending
to eat Ellie's hair.

It's beyond classic.

- I'm gonna go see that,

And not just because
I'm losing this argument.

I don't want that filthy puppet
touching my daughter's hair.

- Come on, Larry.

This donor could finance

Your whole campaign
with one check.

We have to make him like you.

So one more time...

What is his wife's name?

- Could I please just have

One of those little baby vodkas?

- Close. It's Gina.

And you promised
no more drinking.

We can't have a repeat of Miami.

- It was 3:00 in the morning.
Nobody saw anything.

You were humping a statue
of a dolphin.

And that poor statue
of Dan Marino

Had to stand there and watch it.

Larry, you need to grow up.

- You're right.

Would you go get me
one of those big coffees

That taste like a milkshake?

They're so good.

- Fine.

But I'm taking
the mini bar key with me.

- Oh.
- There's a statue

Of Mary Todd Lincoln
in the lobby,

And I don't want to have
to pry you off it.

Poor woman suffered enough.

- Penthouse, milady?

- Yes, please.

That was a delicious dinner.

- And now some champagne,
a little soft music...

- I think we're going down.

- I rule nothing out.

I had a b-12 shot,
ate light.

- I meant the elevator,

My revolting prince.

- Oh, God.

- This guy again.

Did you
not breast-feed enough?

- Sean, Lee and I are going
to have adult sex tonight.

- I'm not trying to stop you.

Jill's staying here, and we need

To work some things out.

- Well, whatever
you're doing here,

If you show up in the penthouse,

You'd better hope
that I'm tied up.

By the way,

My doctor said
I must not be tied up.

- Is this my floor?

Who cares?
I'm getting out.

- Yes? What?

- Uh, isn't
this Jill Madison's room?

- Yes, but she's not here.

What?

- I'm her ex-husband.

We had a little fight earlier.

I just came by to talk to her
and give her this.

It's her favorite scotch.

It's kind of funny.
We drank it...

- Great story.
It's what America's all about.

Now get in here, you two.

- Hey, Ellie.

We're doing a little work
tonight with your dad.

You've grown into such
a poised, mature young woman.

- Really?
Since this afternoon?

- I think so.

- You guys can
come on in and wait.

My dad went to see my mom.
He should be right back.

- Oh, he's meeting
with your mom, huh?

Well, whatever comes of that,

I just want to say that
you are a terrific kid,

And we'll never forget you.

- Never forget me?

- Hunter.
- What's going on?

First an inspirational
puppet show,

And now you two
are getting all mushy.

Am I dying?

Of course not.

- Well...

We're all dying.

- Stop it.

You're a great girl,

And everything's totally fine.

- Here, child.

This is for you.

- Oh, my God, I am dying.

- Oh, she's dying?

Is that why she's going
to New York, for treatment?

- Who said I was going
to New York?

- Look, I just came by to say

And if you choose to stay
with your father,

My soon-to-be brother,
there'll a lot more

Stuffed animals in your future.

Only not that big.
That one was crazy expensive.

Are my parents talking about
who I'm going to live with?

- Max, she didn't know.

- Well, at least
she heard it from family.

- Come on, Larry.

So you drank a bottle of scotch.

It happens.

- I am so ashamed.

- Then open the door,
and let's talk.

- And horny.

- Then let's talk
through the door.

- Sean?

What are you doing here?

- I came by to settle
this thing with Ellie.

I brought our favorite scotch
as a peace offering.

- Oh, God.
Did Larry see that?

- Actually, I think he was
drinking it too fast to see it.

- Damn it, Sean!
You got him drunk?

How could you be
so irresponsible?

- I'm irresponsible?

You're the one trying
to put him in the senate.

So this guy is the kind
of exciting,

Interesting person
you want Ellie to meet?

Oh, she'll learn so much
at his intervention.

- He already had one.

God, this is
only my second campaign.

I can't have this blow up
in my face.

Oh, was that your plan?

To sabotage me
so you could keep Ellie?

- I... Am not that smart.

Whatever. Just go.

Larry.

Your donor's
only in town tonight.

You come out here right now!

- I don't wanna!

- Come on, Larry!

- You're gonna help me?

- Is lake Michigan the second
biggest great lake?

- No.

- Man, you should host a show
called lake talk.

Come on, Larry!
Open up.

People are always yelling.

First day of kindergarten,
remember?

- She locked herself
in the bathroom.

- Exactly.

- Larry, we know you're scared.

- Because sometimes life
is scary, sweetheart.

- And overwhelming.

- Uh, you could probably use
a hug right now, huh?

- Oh, God, yes.

- But we can't hug you
through the door.

So be a big, brave politician
and open up.

It worked.

Oh, God, Larry.

You're soaking wet.

- I was promised a hug!

- I suggested he take
a shower to sober up.

I assumed taking his clothes off
was implied.

- So many buttons...

- His second suit's
at the cleaners.

Where are we going to find
another suit in his size?

- I know a terrible place
I can try.

- Why can't you leave us alone?

- I need Lee's suit.

Like you want to be in his
clothes, take his place?

Do we need to go see
Dr. Tony again?

- No, I need Lee's actual suit.

- Son, do I have to punch you?

- He says he needs your suit.

- Oh, sure, man.
I'm not wearing it.

- How do I look?

- Great.
- Good.

Then let's get busy.

Hey, slim, you got
a camera on your phone?

- Uh, he's still hammered.

Although I liked
that he called me slim.

- In Miami,
a doctor gave him a b-12 shot.

Straightened him right out.

But where are we going
to find that

In the next five minutes?

- Oh, God.

Don't hit me.

- No, it's good to see you.

I need a break.
Your mother's an animal.

- Oh, thank God.

I was so worried
you'd be disappointed.

Look, I need to borrow
a b-12 shot.

- Is that room service
with the chocolate sauce?

- And I'll need a syringe
for me with just air in it.

- Jiand I apologizegret
if I offended you.

- Just tell me, what is our
donor's wife's name?

- Gina.

And his kids are
Kyle, Kelly, and Cooper.

And I'm Larry branch,
your next senator.

- Thanks for your help tonight.

I forgot what
a great team we are.

- Are you kidding me?
We kicked ass.

That's why our daughter's
the best kid in the world.

- Let's not screw it up now.
- Right?

No matter what happens
with Ellie,

We'll deal with it as a team.

- That would be
the mature thing to do.

I just hope she chooses me.

- It'll be me.
- No, me.

- Me.
- Name the Great Lakes.

- Uh... Michigan.

Superior.
I want to say susie.

Damn, it's gonna be you.

- So your mom and I aren't
gonna fight about it.

Whomever you decide
to live with,

We'll both support you 100%.

And if you choose your mom...

I'll be totally okay with it.

- Dad, if you start crying,
I'm going to start crying.

And that's how we got kicked
out of the theater during up.

They just wanted a baby.

And I would miss you so much.

Because all I want is my baby.

- Hey, guys,
you'll be happy to know

That I've solved our problem.

First thing this morning,
I marched upstairs

To tell Larry he has to
get his act together.

- Good for you.

- Not really.

Larry, I need to talk to you.

- Yeah, now is not
a really good time.

- I'm tired of cleaning up
your messes.

You're a crazy drunk pervert

Who cheats on his wife
with sea creatures.

And if voters knew...

Oh, you moved
the interview upstairs.

Hello.

I was just saying
that if voters knew

How kind and compassionate...

Aw, balls, I can't do this.

You got any of that scotch left?

That clip's running on
every news outlet in America.

Larry's campaign is over,
and so is my career.

- So there's nothing left
for you in New York?

You're finished?
You're ruined?

That's awesome.

- Honey, the body's
not even cold yet.

I'm sorry.

- What am I gonna do?

- I know what you're gonna do.

You're going to stay here...

With all of us

Until you get back on your feet.

- Really? Can I?

- Of course you can.
Forever!

Marry daddy again.

Sorry.
Caught up in the moment.

- Good morning
to my three favorite people.

And bear.

Honey, I talked to Dr. Tony

And he thinks that you're scared
of losing me to Lee.

So I want you to know that
even though Lee has my body,

You will always have my heart.

- Oh, mom.
- Mm-hmm.

- That is so...

Gross.

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