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1
00:00:00,100 --> 00:00:02,534
(SIREN WHOOPING, INDISTINCT
POLICE RADIO CHATTER)
2
00:00:08,708 --> 00:00:12,317
So... a large plant murdered Ms. Hobart,
3
00:00:12,342 --> 00:00:16,878
and then attempted to murder
you before you passed out.
4
00:00:16,947 --> 00:00:19,814
You were then awakened moments
later by Mr. Jackson here,
5
00:00:19,850 --> 00:00:22,651
who probably frightened
the monster away.
6
00:00:25,522 --> 00:00:29,457
And now Ms. Hobart's body is missing.
7
00:00:29,526 --> 00:00:32,794
Is that what you'd have us believe?
8
00:00:32,829 --> 00:00:36,231
Or it was someone dressed
up as a large plant.
9
00:00:38,268 --> 00:00:41,403
Suspect can't stick to a story.
10
00:00:41,471 --> 00:00:43,138
What... suspect?
11
00:00:43,206 --> 00:00:45,974
How did I become a suspect?
12
00:00:46,043 --> 00:00:49,411
I was... I was locked in the bathtub.
13
00:00:49,479 --> 00:00:53,281
How could I have smeared
a 200-foot trail
14
00:00:53,350 --> 00:00:55,116
of swamp slime across the hallway,
15
00:00:55,185 --> 00:00:57,585
then decapitate a werewolf?
16
00:00:57,654 --> 00:00:59,654
I mean, why would I do that? Why?
17
00:00:59,723 --> 00:01:01,556
Mm.
18
00:01:01,625 --> 00:01:04,392
Suspect unclear of her own motives.
19
00:01:04,461 --> 00:01:05,627
(GASPS)
20
00:01:05,696 --> 00:01:07,095
I'm just curious,
21
00:01:07,164 --> 00:01:09,164
do you have to have
graduated high school
22
00:01:09,232 --> 00:01:11,299
- to become a detective?
- No, ma'am.
23
00:01:11,368 --> 00:01:13,268
I know what I saw, okay?!
24
00:01:13,336 --> 00:01:15,970
There is a killer on the loose!
25
00:01:16,006 --> 00:01:17,405
Chamberlain?
26
00:01:17,474 --> 00:01:19,774
Chamberlain, tell them.
27
00:01:19,843 --> 00:01:21,509
Well, I did hear them screaming,
28
00:01:21,578 --> 00:01:23,111
but by the time I got down here,
29
00:01:23,180 --> 00:01:25,013
it was only Chanel #5 in the room.
30
00:01:25,082 --> 00:01:27,315
That is, until Dr. Munsch walked in.
31
00:01:27,384 --> 00:01:30,118
Well, the Wi-Fi is down in my apartment.
32
00:01:30,187 --> 00:01:32,854
I was on a Skype call in my office.
33
00:01:32,923 --> 00:01:34,089
Dean Munsch.
34
00:01:34,157 --> 00:01:36,691
Number Five is obviously crazy.
35
00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:38,793
She probably murdered Catherine
herself for the attention,
36
00:01:38,829 --> 00:01:41,396
because she hasn't been
touched in months.
37
00:01:41,431 --> 00:01:42,931
I don't even think
she's touched herself.
38
00:01:42,999 --> 00:01:44,666
Even her hand thinks she's gross.
39
00:01:44,735 --> 00:01:47,001
The closest she's gotten to sex
is when a bookshelf fell on her.
40
00:01:47,037 --> 00:01:49,037
Yeah. Number Five is just jealous
41
00:01:49,106 --> 00:01:51,172
because Number Three and I got asked out
42
00:01:51,241 --> 00:01:53,708
by Dr. Brock and Dr.
Cascade, and she didn't.
43
00:01:53,777 --> 00:01:55,176
So while we were on our way
44
00:01:55,212 --> 00:01:57,011
to our hot double date in Bonetown,
45
00:01:57,047 --> 00:01:59,114
she decided to sabotage it,
46
00:01:59,182 --> 00:02:01,983
by killing a poor, defenseless,
hairless creature.
47
00:02:02,052 --> 00:02:04,385
Hiding the body and forcing
us to hurry back to listen to
48
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the least-terrifying story
anyone has ever heard.
49
00:02:06,189 --> 00:02:07,822
(CRYING) All right.
50
00:02:07,891 --> 00:02:09,891
I don't think we're ever gonna
really know what happened here.
51
00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:11,693
What?!
52
00:02:11,762 --> 00:02:14,629
Sorry, sweetheart. The
evidence is just inconclusive.
53
00:02:14,698 --> 00:02:16,564
Call me if anything else comes up.
54
00:02:16,633 --> 00:02:21,136
In the meantime, no more made-up
stories that aren't that scary.
55
00:02:21,204 --> 00:02:25,006
I'm telling the truth. I swear.
56
00:02:25,041 --> 00:02:27,842
57
00:02:30,647 --> 00:02:32,013
BROCK: Tyler, can you tell us
58
00:02:32,082 --> 00:02:33,748
when the growths first appeared?
59
00:02:33,784 --> 00:02:35,784
- About two years ago.
- Hold on.
60
00:02:38,889 --> 00:02:40,989
Have you ever tried popping those?
61
00:02:41,057 --> 00:02:43,224
Uh-uh. Nope. We've already
talked about this.
62
00:02:43,293 --> 00:02:45,760
I'm not gonna sit here while you
try to demean another patient.
63
00:02:45,829 --> 00:02:47,929
I am not demeaning anyone.
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I am being brash and confident,
65
00:02:50,100 --> 00:02:51,866
because I am the out-of-the-box thinker
66
00:02:51,935 --> 00:02:53,768
who brilliantly solved our last case
67
00:02:53,837 --> 00:02:56,204
without resorting to a
full-frontal lobotomy.
68
00:02:56,273 --> 00:02:57,772
- Well...
- If I was gonna be mean,
69
00:02:57,841 --> 00:02:59,707
I'd ask him if he kissed a toad.
70
00:02:59,776 --> 00:03:01,409
Or if he was a toad.
71
00:03:01,478 --> 00:03:04,212
He at least had some lineage,
like a toad grandparent.
72
00:03:04,281 --> 00:03:06,414
Or if he rented out his pores
on Airbnb for hundreds
73
00:03:06,449 --> 00:03:08,416
of expectant female spiders
to lay their eggs in.
74
00:03:08,485 --> 00:03:09,584
Okay, we get it.
75
00:03:09,653 --> 00:03:11,853
You're not being mean.
76
00:03:11,922 --> 00:03:15,790
Yes, um, I have tried it, but it hurts,
77
00:03:15,859 --> 00:03:18,860
and it doesn't work
because they're not zits.
78
00:03:18,929 --> 00:03:22,163
I was diagnosed with
neurofibromatosis type 1,
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00:03:22,199 --> 00:03:24,365
which my doctor said it was genetic.
80
00:03:24,434 --> 00:03:27,268
Well, Tyler, there's
good news and bad news.
81
00:03:27,304 --> 00:03:31,206
Good news is that there's a
machine called a CO2 laser
82
00:03:31,274 --> 00:03:33,041
that can shrink and eventually
remove your tumors.
83
00:03:33,109 --> 00:03:34,943
It's completely painless.
84
00:03:35,011 --> 00:03:37,378
- Really? That's-that's great.
- Mm-hmm.
85
00:03:37,447 --> 00:03:39,047
Well, you didn't wait for the bad news.
86
00:03:39,115 --> 00:03:40,648
Yeah, the bad news is
they're-they're cumbersome
87
00:03:40,717 --> 00:03:43,051
and they're super expensive
and we don't have one.
88
00:03:43,119 --> 00:03:44,586
I don't have any money.
The only money I make
89
00:03:44,654 --> 00:03:46,554
is writing Encyclopedia
Brown fan fiction.
90
00:03:46,590 --> 00:03:48,089
I used to love Encyclopedia Brown.
91
00:03:48,158 --> 00:03:49,791
Yeah, you would.
92
00:03:49,860 --> 00:03:51,259
Look at me.
93
00:03:51,328 --> 00:03:53,561
Look at me. I'm a monster.
94
00:03:53,630 --> 00:03:55,263
I don't have anywhere else to go.
95
00:03:55,332 --> 00:03:56,831
My life is a complete mess.
96
00:03:56,900 --> 00:03:58,900
I'm desperate.
97
00:03:58,969 --> 00:04:03,471
So can you please, please, just help me?
98
00:04:08,178 --> 00:04:10,144
MUNSCH: Oh! Zayday.
99
00:04:12,883 --> 00:04:14,682
You don't happen to
know if there are any
100
00:04:14,751 --> 00:04:16,951
New Guinean restaurants in town, do you?
101
00:04:17,020 --> 00:04:18,419
No.
102
00:04:18,488 --> 00:04:20,021
I didn't even know that was a thing.
103
00:04:20,056 --> 00:04:21,823
Yeah. I just have a taste for it.
104
00:04:21,892 --> 00:04:23,124
As you were.
105
00:04:28,865 --> 00:04:30,531
Chamberlain, right?
106
00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:32,400
Could I talk to you for a minute?
107
00:04:32,469 --> 00:04:34,936
Okay, so you changed your mind;
you want to go out with me.
108
00:04:34,971 --> 00:04:36,571
What? No.
109
00:04:37,707 --> 00:04:39,007
It's Munsch.
110
00:04:39,075 --> 00:04:40,441
There's something bugging me about her,
111
00:04:40,477 --> 00:04:42,310
and there's nobody else
I can talk to about it.
112
00:04:42,379 --> 00:04:43,845
I'm suspicious.
113
00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:46,381
I mean, why would she want to run
a hospital in the first place?
114
00:04:46,449 --> 00:04:48,016
I don't know, to help people?
115
00:04:48,084 --> 00:04:50,385
Yeah, but she also was the
dean of a university.
116
00:04:50,453 --> 00:04:53,821
Why would she start a hospital
to cure only a handful of people
117
00:04:53,890 --> 00:04:55,456
with really obscure diseases?
118
00:04:55,525 --> 00:04:58,326
I mean, she had to pour every
penny she had into this place.
119
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Who does that?
120
00:05:00,096 --> 00:05:02,063
She is rich.
121
00:05:02,132 --> 00:05:03,865
And why would she hire
me and the Chanels?
122
00:05:03,934 --> 00:05:05,600
The Chanels are idiots,
and she hates them.
123
00:05:05,635 --> 00:05:07,635
Like really hates them, hates them.
124
00:05:07,704 --> 00:05:10,338
I believe you got a theory. I do.
125
00:05:10,407 --> 00:05:11,839
There's something about the story
126
00:05:11,875 --> 00:05:13,808
that Number Five was
telling the other day.
127
00:05:13,877 --> 00:05:16,644
I mean, she said the swamp
monster that killed Catherine
128
00:05:16,713 --> 00:05:19,213
was about to kill her, and
then you scared it off.
129
00:05:19,282 --> 00:05:20,815
And Dean Munsch was just upstairs
130
00:05:20,884 --> 00:05:22,917
in her office the whole time?
131
00:05:22,986 --> 00:05:24,352
After hours?
132
00:05:24,421 --> 00:05:25,853
You said it yourself.
133
00:05:25,922 --> 00:05:27,689
Dean Munsch said good night to both you
134
00:05:27,757 --> 00:05:30,692
and Chanel Number Five long
before Catherine was murdered.
135
00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:33,561
- So what, you think she's in on it?
- She has to be.
136
00:05:33,630 --> 00:05:35,897
It's the only thing that makes
any of this make sense.
137
00:05:35,966 --> 00:05:37,532
I think she's out for revenge.
138
00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:40,535
I think she gathered all the
Chanels here in one place,
139
00:05:40,603 --> 00:05:43,972
so she could knock them off one by one.
140
00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:45,740
It's like Ten Little Indians.
141
00:05:45,809 --> 00:05:47,909
- Whoa, what? You can't say that.
-Ten Little Indians.
142
00:05:47,978 --> 00:05:49,277
Agatha Christie novel.
143
00:05:49,346 --> 00:05:50,912
- That still doesn't make it okay.
- Look, okay.
144
00:05:50,981 --> 00:05:52,280
That's not the point; the point is,
145
00:05:52,349 --> 00:05:55,183
we have to get to the bottom of this...
together.
146
00:05:55,251 --> 00:05:57,885
And figure out exactly
what Dean Munsch is after.
147
00:05:57,954 --> 00:05:59,921
Okay.
148
00:05:59,990 --> 00:06:01,622
I'm in.
149
00:06:01,658 --> 00:06:02,590
It's not a date.
150
00:06:03,660 --> 00:06:05,526
It's not a date.
151
00:06:05,595 --> 00:06:09,364
BROCK: I'm so happy we rescheduled
our May-December date.
152
00:06:10,633 --> 00:06:13,201
How are you gonna eat all that popcorn?
153
00:06:13,269 --> 00:06:14,402
I'm not gonna eat any of it.
154
00:06:14,471 --> 00:06:16,137
You see, I buy the biggest tub
155
00:06:16,206 --> 00:06:17,805
of popcorn they sell and have
them cover it in butter,
156
00:06:17,874 --> 00:06:19,407
and then I secretly drop handfuls of it
157
00:06:19,442 --> 00:06:21,075
on the floor as the movie plays.
158
00:06:21,144 --> 00:06:23,044
I don't understand. Why?
159
00:06:23,079 --> 00:06:25,646
To make the fatties feel
bad about themselves.
160
00:06:25,715 --> 00:06:27,482
Then they feel terrible and eat more.
161
00:06:27,550 --> 00:06:29,117
It's, like, my favorite hobby.
162
00:06:29,185 --> 00:06:31,419
You are the most incredible
woman I've ever met.
163
00:06:31,488 --> 00:06:33,287
Thank you.
164
00:06:33,356 --> 00:06:35,390
I'm having a really nice time.
165
00:06:35,458 --> 00:06:37,525
(MOVIE SOUNDTRACK PLAYING)
166
00:06:49,305 --> 00:06:51,773
Sorry. I'm sorry.
167
00:06:51,841 --> 00:06:52,974
Are you kidding?
168
00:06:53,043 --> 00:06:56,110
I haven't been manhandled
in, like, two years.
169
00:06:56,179 --> 00:06:58,112
Grope at will, Doctor.
170
00:06:58,181 --> 00:07:00,148
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
171
00:07:05,288 --> 00:07:06,888
(SIGHS)
172
00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:11,692
Hey!
173
00:07:11,761 --> 00:07:13,428
- Sorry, sorry, sir.
- You could have just asked.
174
00:07:13,496 --> 00:07:16,164
- I know. Here. Sorry.
- (LAUGHS)
175
00:07:16,232 --> 00:07:17,765
Oh, my God... wait.
176
00:07:17,834 --> 00:07:20,701
Are you imitating the guy in the
movie with the out-of-control hand?
177
00:07:21,838 --> 00:07:23,771
- Yeah. (CHUCKLES)
- That is amazing.
178
00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:26,507
You know, I never thought
I could put my heart
179
00:07:26,576 --> 00:07:28,709
back together again after
losing Chad Radwell,
180
00:07:28,778 --> 00:07:30,545
but after being with
you tonight and your,
181
00:07:30,580 --> 00:07:32,713
your amazing hand and your hot mouth,
182
00:07:32,782 --> 00:07:34,849
I know I'm finally ready to move on.
183
00:07:36,052 --> 00:07:38,886
(SIGHS)
184
00:07:43,593 --> 00:07:45,159
Hey. Why are you so sad?
185
00:07:47,030 --> 00:07:50,798
My first boyfriend's name was Clarence.
186
00:07:50,867 --> 00:07:53,434
He had hair like Richard
Grieco and he played lacrosse,
187
00:07:53,503 --> 00:07:56,704
but... (SIGHS) he was also imaginary.
188
00:07:56,739 --> 00:07:59,407
We dated all throughout high school.
189
00:07:59,476 --> 00:08:01,976
And the day before graduation,
he broke up with me.
190
00:08:02,045 --> 00:08:05,246
I thought things would
be different in college.
191
00:08:05,315 --> 00:08:08,149
I mean, especially when I joined
Kappa and became a Chanel,
192
00:08:08,218 --> 00:08:10,818
but then Chanel told everybody
that I had teeth in my vagina,
193
00:08:10,887 --> 00:08:12,854
so it's basically impossible
for me to get a date.
194
00:08:12,922 --> 00:08:15,256
But I knew this would be different.
195
00:08:15,325 --> 00:08:17,391
We're supposed to be grownups now.
196
00:08:17,460 --> 00:08:19,494
But it's exactly the same.
197
00:08:19,562 --> 00:08:21,362
I mean, it's only two
weeks, and already Chanel
198
00:08:21,397 --> 00:08:22,830
and Number Three have
hot doctor boyfriends
199
00:08:22,899 --> 00:08:24,532
and no one will even look at me.
200
00:08:24,601 --> 00:08:27,602
I look like I'm wrapped
in infected bubble wrap.
201
00:08:27,670 --> 00:08:28,836
(LAUGHS, GASPS)
202
00:08:28,905 --> 00:08:30,338
- Mm.
- Yeah.
203
00:08:30,406 --> 00:08:34,108
Shouldn't be complaining to you.
Your life is so much worse.
204
00:08:34,144 --> 00:08:35,676
No, I don't mind.
205
00:08:35,745 --> 00:08:39,180
I can't even tell you how long it's
been since a girl even talked to me.
206
00:08:39,249 --> 00:08:41,415
Do you want to see what I
used to look before all this?
207
00:08:42,785 --> 00:08:44,719
You were hot!
208
00:08:44,787 --> 00:08:46,754
Like, super hot.
209
00:08:46,823 --> 00:08:50,158
I just don't know how I'm gonna
find the money for this laser.
210
00:08:58,468 --> 00:09:00,601
I'm gonna find the money for that laser.
211
00:09:00,637 --> 00:09:03,237
I don't know how, but I'm gonna find it.
212
00:09:07,544 --> 00:09:09,177
(METAL CLANKING)
213
00:09:13,416 --> 00:09:16,417
(SCREAMING IN DISTANCE)
214
00:09:24,761 --> 00:09:26,694
(MACHINERY WHIRRING QUIETLY)
215
00:09:30,033 --> 00:09:31,999
(SCREAMING IN DISTANCE)
216
00:09:36,906 --> 00:09:38,873
(LIGHTS CLANK)
217
00:09:46,983 --> 00:09:48,616
(MAN SCREAMING IN DISTANCE)
218
00:09:55,525 --> 00:09:57,558
(SCREAMING)
219
00:09:59,696 --> 00:10:01,662
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
220
00:10:09,038 --> 00:10:10,238
(MUFFLED LAUGHING)
221
00:10:13,576 --> 00:10:15,443
Chad?
222
00:10:15,478 --> 00:10:16,711
What the hell?!
223
00:10:16,779 --> 00:10:18,112
Oh, the look on your face.
224
00:10:18,181 --> 00:10:21,148
God, I knew I should have strapped
a GoPro to my Red Devil mask.
225
00:10:21,217 --> 00:10:22,183
(SIGHS)
226
00:10:24,220 --> 00:10:26,087
What are you doing with your hand?
227
00:10:27,290 --> 00:10:29,190
It wasn't funny when you snuck into
228
00:10:29,225 --> 00:10:30,691
the insane asylum in the
middle of the night
229
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:32,893
and scared me in my bed,
and it's not funny now.
230
00:10:32,929 --> 00:10:34,095
I thought it was pretty funny.
231
00:10:34,163 --> 00:10:35,296
Maybe not Happy Gilmore funny.
232
00:10:35,365 --> 00:10:36,564
Definitely Big Daddy funny.
233
00:10:36,633 --> 00:10:37,965
- (SCREAMING IN DISTANCE)
- What is that screaming?
234
00:10:38,034 --> 00:10:42,737
That's my good buddy Randall.
He needs medical attention.
235
00:10:42,805 --> 00:10:44,839
Think he's gonna die.
236
00:10:48,117 --> 00:10:49,824
I want you back.
237
00:10:54,588 --> 00:10:55,987
(SCREAMING)
238
00:10:57,492 --> 00:10:58,991
So we're on our annual hunting trip
239
00:10:59,060 --> 00:11:00,893
with the International
Order of Saint Guntington.
240
00:11:00,962 --> 00:11:02,428
It's an elite secret society of hunters
241
00:11:02,497 --> 00:11:05,071
that dates back to the
Hapsburger Dynasty.
242
00:11:05,533 --> 00:11:08,834
CHANEL: Okay, did anything
odd happen on the trip?
243
00:11:08,903 --> 00:11:11,938
Was he bit by a tick or hit in the head?
244
00:11:12,006 --> 00:11:13,906
That is an excellent question, C.
245
00:11:13,942 --> 00:11:15,308
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
246
00:11:15,376 --> 00:11:17,643
Are you guys boning?
247
00:11:17,712 --> 00:11:20,746
Went to the movies last
night, I grabbed her boob.
248
00:11:20,815 --> 00:11:22,815
- One boob? I thought doctors had game.
- Mm-hmm.
249
00:11:22,884 --> 00:11:24,450
- Why don't you try two handfuls...
- Okay, okay.
250
00:11:24,519 --> 00:11:26,319
You can fight over
Chanel's breasts later.
251
00:11:26,387 --> 00:11:29,956
Though it would be sort of like
going to war over the Falklands.
252
00:11:30,024 --> 00:11:33,526
Lot of work for a relatively small
and insignificant amount of land.
253
00:11:34,729 --> 00:11:36,095
Anyway, please continue.
254
00:11:36,164 --> 00:11:37,430
Thank you.
255
00:11:37,498 --> 00:11:39,265
So we're on our annual quail swim
256
00:11:39,334 --> 00:11:43,302
with the Ordensbrothers RBG,
Bill Parcells, Ted Danson.
257
00:11:43,371 --> 00:11:45,137
Giant covey of quail take off
258
00:11:45,206 --> 00:11:47,540
right in front of us, we lower
our guns to take 'em out.
259
00:11:47,575 --> 00:11:49,642
Ginsberg... she bagged
two, two or three.
260
00:11:49,677 --> 00:11:51,344
Hell of a shot. All of a sudden,
261
00:11:51,379 --> 00:11:53,312
a couple stragglers take
off after the first
262
00:11:53,381 --> 00:11:56,148
volley of shots, Randal lowers
his gun to take 'em out,
263
00:11:56,217 --> 00:11:57,850
when all of a sudden,
Liz Cheney pops out.
264
00:11:57,919 --> 00:11:59,618
- And I think she was, like, peeing.
- Mm-hmm.
265
00:11:59,687 --> 00:12:01,620
Anyway, Randal lowers his shotgun,
266
00:12:01,689 --> 00:12:03,556
- shoots her right in the face. Boom!
- (GROANS)
267
00:12:03,624 --> 00:12:05,658
Hope she was okay.
268
00:12:05,727 --> 00:12:07,560
No, I don't. She's awful.
269
00:12:07,628 --> 00:12:09,495
Your friend has the Jumping Frenchman
270
00:12:09,564 --> 00:12:12,465
of Maine disease. Watch this.
271
00:12:12,533 --> 00:12:13,117
(YELPS)
272
00:12:13,141 --> 00:12:14,867
We don't have a full
understanding of what causes it,
273
00:12:14,902 --> 00:12:17,236
physiologically, but
we do know sufferers
274
00:12:17,305 --> 00:12:19,739
of this disorder have an
exaggerated startle reflex.
275
00:12:19,774 --> 00:12:21,140
- (YELLS): Mah!
- Like that.
276
00:12:21,209 --> 00:12:22,708
You know, any slight little stimuli
277
00:12:22,777 --> 00:12:24,543
- sort of sets him off.
- Mah!
278
00:12:24,612 --> 00:12:26,812
- (YELPS)
- Okay.
279
00:12:26,881 --> 00:12:28,681
- (MUFFLED SCREAM)
- Okay. My guess is that shooting
280
00:12:28,716 --> 00:12:31,250
Liz Cheney in the face
probably set this off.
281
00:12:31,285 --> 00:12:34,553
Wow. Dr. Holt, you are... incredible.
282
00:12:34,622 --> 00:12:36,322
- Yeah?
- (LAUGHS)
283
00:12:36,357 --> 00:12:38,057
Did I tell you I started a band?
284
00:12:38,126 --> 00:12:39,525
I'm the lead singer.
285
00:12:39,594 --> 00:12:42,395
Front man. It's called
Gold-Plated Nutsack.
286
00:12:42,430 --> 00:12:43,829
(LAUGHS)
287
00:12:43,898 --> 00:12:46,866
Please, please, somebody help me.
288
00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:49,068
I feel like I'm gonna
die from screaming.
289
00:12:49,137 --> 00:12:51,737
I'm sorry, Randal, but there...
there's no known cure.
290
00:12:51,806 --> 00:12:55,508
But that is the point
of this hospital...
291
00:12:55,576 --> 00:12:58,844
to cure the heretofore incurable.
292
00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:02,114
So, don't worry, Randal. We
are going to help you out.
293
00:13:02,183 --> 00:13:04,617
- You have my word.
- (SCREAMS)
294
00:13:04,685 --> 00:13:06,085
Sorry.
295
00:13:06,154 --> 00:13:08,154
Nutsack.
296
00:13:11,726 --> 00:13:13,893
How do you feel about revenge sex?
297
00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:15,928
- CHANEL 5: Hello, America.
-
I will remember you...
298
00:13:15,997 --> 00:13:17,730
My name is Chanel 5.
299
00:13:17,799 --> 00:13:21,200
And I'm here to ask you for help.
300
00:13:21,269 --> 00:13:23,736
- This is my friend Tyler.
-
Will you remember me...
301
00:13:23,805 --> 00:13:28,140
He used to be hot, and now he's
covered in weird skin bubbles.
302
00:13:28,176 --> 00:13:32,111
Hi. I'm Tyler, and two years
ago, I was diagnosed with...
303
00:13:32,180 --> 00:13:35,548
Two years ago, he was diagnosed
with neurofibromatosis type 1.
304
00:13:35,616 --> 00:13:38,551
It's a crippling disease
that turned this hot guy
305
00:13:38,586 --> 00:13:42,555
into a living, breathing monster.
306
00:13:42,623 --> 00:13:44,457
(CRYING): Won't you please help him
307
00:13:44,525 --> 00:13:46,492
afford the expensive laser
308
00:13:46,561 --> 00:13:48,661
- that could end his torment?
- Okay, I can't watch this anymore.
309
00:13:48,696 --> 00:13:52,965
Number Five, that is the worst
fund-raising video ever made.
310
00:13:53,034 --> 00:13:55,101
What are you talking about?
It's really emotional.
311
00:13:55,169 --> 00:13:57,670
- It's really not.
- Okay, Number Five,
312
00:13:57,738 --> 00:14:00,439
you're going about this all wrong.
313
00:14:00,508 --> 00:14:03,109
But you want Tyler to get
those laser treatments
314
00:14:03,177 --> 00:14:06,145
so he'll be hot again and
you can date him, right?
315
00:14:06,214 --> 00:14:09,515
Well, Number Five, once he's hot again,
316
00:14:09,584 --> 00:14:11,083
he's not gonna want to date you.
317
00:14:11,152 --> 00:14:12,651
Chanel's right. The only shot
318
00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:14,553
you have with Tyler is
if he stays all warty.
319
00:14:14,622 --> 00:14:16,755
Look, if you want to be with
Tyler, you need to go for him
320
00:14:16,824 --> 00:14:20,426
now, be the girl that stood by
him through his tumoriest days.
321
00:14:20,495 --> 00:14:22,261
Then when he's hot again,
he'll feel obligated
322
00:14:22,330 --> 00:14:24,029
to stay with you and never leave.
323
00:14:26,767 --> 00:14:28,968
(WHISTLING)
324
00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:30,803
All right, what we got?
325
00:14:30,838 --> 00:14:32,671
Someone must have hired someone
326
00:14:32,740 --> 00:14:35,274
from one of those online
reputation redemption companies
327
00:14:35,343 --> 00:14:37,376
to scrub clean any
file on this hospital.
328
00:14:37,445 --> 00:14:39,545
And all that comes up on Google is stuff
329
00:14:39,614 --> 00:14:41,147
from when it first opened
330
00:14:41,182 --> 00:14:43,282
and an article about Dean
Munsch buying the place.
331
00:14:43,351 --> 00:14:46,118
And a whole chunk from when
it was just a normal hospital
332
00:14:46,187 --> 00:14:47,786
in the 1980s is missing.
333
00:14:47,855 --> 00:14:50,589
Look, what we need to do is
go down to the local library
334
00:14:50,658 --> 00:14:52,124
and just search the microfiche files.
335
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:53,392
You can't scrub those.
336
00:14:53,461 --> 00:14:54,894
Oh, great idea. Let's go.
337
00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:56,896
No, Zayday doesn't go to the library.
338
00:14:56,964 --> 00:14:59,465
Chamberlain brings the
library to Zayday.
339
00:14:59,534 --> 00:15:01,133
I went this afternoon.
340
00:15:01,202 --> 00:15:04,036
Libraries are very "screepy" places.
341
00:15:04,105 --> 00:15:07,039
Okay, but don't we
need a special machine
342
00:15:07,108 --> 00:15:09,108
to be able to look at these things?
343
00:15:09,143 --> 00:15:11,677
All set up downstairs
in the archives room.
344
00:15:16,250 --> 00:15:19,218
I feel like I'm in one of
those movies from the 1970s.
345
00:15:19,287 --> 00:15:20,786
- (CHUCKLES)
- (LOUD THUD IN DISTANCE)
346
00:15:25,660 --> 00:15:28,761
This is from November 1, 1986.
347
00:15:28,829 --> 00:15:33,265
The entire hospital staff was
murdered on Halloween night.
348
00:15:33,334 --> 00:15:35,267
("MAD ABOUT YOU" BY
BELINDA CARLISLE PLAYING)
349
00:15:35,336 --> 00:15:38,103
(LIVELY CHATTER)
350
00:15:38,172 --> 00:15:39,505
I'm mad about you...
351
00:15:39,574 --> 00:15:41,574
Hey, what are you guys dressed as?
352
00:15:41,642 --> 00:15:44,577
I am NASA's Voyager 2 spacecraft.
353
00:15:44,645 --> 00:15:46,345
And I'm Uranus.
354
00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:47,746
Ooh!
355
00:15:47,815 --> 00:15:51,016
On January 24, NASA's Voyager 2
356
00:15:51,085 --> 00:15:54,186
made its first encounter with Uranus.
357
00:15:54,222 --> 00:15:56,956
And tonight Dr. Mike and I are gonna
358
00:15:57,024 --> 00:15:59,191
recreate the encounter here on Earth.
359
00:15:59,260 --> 00:16:01,126
(CHUCKLES) Amazing!
360
00:16:01,162 --> 00:16:03,963
Hey, do you guys want to go
do some cocaine with us?
361
00:16:04,031 --> 00:16:06,365
Not while "Mad About You" is playing.
362
00:16:06,434 --> 00:16:08,033
(CLEARS THROAT)
363
00:16:08,102 --> 00:16:09,902
MAN: Maybe I shouldn't be doing this.
364
00:16:09,971 --> 00:16:12,738
I am still on call.
365
00:16:26,988 --> 00:16:28,354
Leave me alone! (SCREAMS)
366
00:16:29,624 --> 00:16:31,056
(LAUGHS)
367
00:16:31,125 --> 00:16:33,492
(MOANING)
368
00:16:36,530 --> 00:16:39,098
That mask looks familiar.
369
00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:41,400
No. It can't be.
370
00:16:41,469 --> 00:16:44,169
No. No one knows. I didn't tell anybody.
371
00:16:44,238 --> 00:16:46,905
- I didn't tell anybody.
- Hey!
372
00:16:46,974 --> 00:16:49,842
Hey! What do you want?!
373
00:16:49,877 --> 00:16:51,243
Who are you?! (GROANS)
374
00:16:51,312 --> 00:16:52,177
(SCREAMS)
375
00:16:52,246 --> 00:16:54,313
(GROANING)
376
00:17:01,789 --> 00:17:03,856
(SCREAMING)
377
00:17:03,924 --> 00:17:06,292
(GASPING)
378
00:17:06,327 --> 00:17:08,327
("I THINK WE'RE ALONE
NOW" BY TIFFANY PLAYING)
379
00:17:11,065 --> 00:17:13,999
(WHIMPERING)
380
00:17:14,035 --> 00:17:15,367
Children behave...
381
00:17:15,403 --> 00:17:17,936
Oh, my God! (SHOUTING)
382
00:17:18,005 --> 00:17:21,307
(SCREAMING)
383
00:17:21,375 --> 00:17:23,742
And watch how you play
384
00:17:23,811 --> 00:17:26,178
They don't understand
385
00:17:26,247 --> 00:17:30,816
And so we're running
just as fast as we can
386
00:17:30,885 --> 00:17:34,520
Holding onto one another's hands
387
00:17:34,588 --> 00:17:37,823
Trying to get away into the night
388
00:17:37,892 --> 00:17:39,825
And then you put your arms around me
389
00:17:39,894 --> 00:17:42,828
And we tumble to the
ground and then you say
390
00:17:42,863 --> 00:17:45,497
I think we're alone now
391
00:17:45,566 --> 00:17:49,001
There doesn't seem to
be anyone around...
392
00:17:50,037 --> 00:17:53,505
No one was arrested. They
never found out who did it.
393
00:17:53,574 --> 00:17:56,241
(LIGHTS BUZZING SOFTLY)
394
00:17:56,310 --> 00:17:57,676
(GASPS)
395
00:17:57,745 --> 00:17:59,912
What have you two been doing?
396
00:17:59,947 --> 00:18:01,914
Nothing?
397
00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:04,450
Are you feeling okay?
398
00:18:04,485 --> 00:18:07,619
I'm gonna be feeling great
in about 15 minutes.
399
00:18:09,657 --> 00:18:11,824
You live with the Chanels, right?
400
00:18:11,892 --> 00:18:13,525
That's right.
401
00:18:13,594 --> 00:18:17,696
Would you mind providing detailed
information as to their schedules?
402
00:18:17,765 --> 00:18:20,599
Like where they are at
certain times of the day,
403
00:18:20,668 --> 00:18:23,001
when they're most likely to be alone.
404
00:18:23,037 --> 00:18:24,837
Why would you need to know that?
405
00:18:24,872 --> 00:18:26,839
If I know where the Chanels
are at any given time,
406
00:18:26,907 --> 00:18:29,074
I can make sure they can handle
the workload they've been given,
407
00:18:29,143 --> 00:18:30,509
considering they're idiots
who aren't doctors.
408
00:18:30,578 --> 00:18:32,111
Well, in that case, you'd need to want
409
00:18:32,146 --> 00:18:34,847
to know the same information
about me, wouldn't you?
410
00:18:34,882 --> 00:18:37,282
Uh... yeah. Right.
411
00:18:37,351 --> 00:18:38,884
Uh-uh.
412
00:18:38,953 --> 00:18:40,552
Way you just said...
that made it seem like
413
00:18:40,621 --> 00:18:42,554
you only want intels on the Chanels.
414
00:18:42,590 --> 00:18:45,724
Well, what if I did?
415
00:18:45,793 --> 00:18:47,693
That would mean your
explanation was a lie,
416
00:18:47,762 --> 00:18:49,795
and I'd have a real
problem with helping you.
417
00:18:49,864 --> 00:18:53,932
Fine. If you can't help me,
I'll find someone who can.
418
00:18:57,338 --> 00:18:58,937
Pick up my supplements.
419
00:19:07,332 --> 00:19:09,365
Morning.
420
00:19:13,803 --> 00:19:16,170
What are you doing?
421
00:19:16,269 --> 00:19:18,603
Uh, showering?
422
00:19:18,672 --> 00:19:19,808
My third of the day.
423
00:19:19,839 --> 00:19:22,540
Like to stay extra fresh just
in case emergency sex pops up.
424
00:19:22,608 --> 00:19:24,308
This is an employee locker room.
425
00:19:25,611 --> 00:19:27,444
Ah. Look, I get it.
426
00:19:27,513 --> 00:19:28,946
Standing in here
427
00:19:29,015 --> 00:19:33,551
with me... all naked, sudsed up.
428
00:19:33,619 --> 00:19:35,252
You're thinking to yourself,
429
00:19:35,321 --> 00:19:38,722
"Wow! That is the last climber
to summit Mount Chanel.
430
00:19:38,758 --> 00:19:41,759
How am I supposed to compete with that?"
431
00:19:41,827 --> 00:19:45,963
Look, Chad, I'm a surgeon...
a brilliant one.
432
00:19:46,032 --> 00:19:49,466
You check off two boxes on
the dateable guy checklist:
433
00:19:49,535 --> 00:19:50,734
handsome and rich.
434
00:19:50,803 --> 00:19:53,470
And guess what, I check those, too.
435
00:19:53,539 --> 00:19:56,307
Okay, first of all, I have
never heard of that checklist,
436
00:19:56,375 --> 00:19:57,975
so I call bull crap on that existing.
437
00:19:58,044 --> 00:20:00,077
Oh, it exists.
438
00:20:00,146 --> 00:20:02,079
Second, did you just call me handsome?
439
00:20:02,148 --> 00:20:04,648
'Cause, given the circumstances,
that's a little weird.
440
00:20:04,717 --> 00:20:07,017
Third...
441
00:20:07,053 --> 00:20:09,453
I'm glad you brought up boxes.
442
00:20:09,522 --> 00:20:13,490
Isn't that what this is all about...
Chanel's box?
443
00:20:13,559 --> 00:20:15,659
Well, guess what, Dr. I Got Lucky
444
00:20:15,728 --> 00:20:18,362
Guessing What's Wrong With
Chad's Good Buddy Randal.
445
00:20:18,431 --> 00:20:20,698
The only dude in the shower
446
00:20:20,733 --> 00:20:24,435
that's ever gonna check
Chanel's box is me.
447
00:20:24,503 --> 00:20:27,538
I don't know if I could
stand for that, Chad.
448
00:20:27,607 --> 00:20:30,174
Well, before this gets
any more homoerotic...
449
00:20:30,209 --> 00:20:31,976
I don't think that's possible.
450
00:20:32,044 --> 00:20:34,645
...I'm gonna do something I
hoped I wouldn't have to do.
451
00:20:34,714 --> 00:20:37,915
We're gonna settle this in the
ancient Radwell tradition.
452
00:20:37,950 --> 00:20:41,685
You and me, local YMCA, squash.
453
00:20:41,721 --> 00:20:43,120
First to 11.
454
00:20:43,189 --> 00:20:45,456
Best out of three, winner gets Chanel.
455
00:20:45,524 --> 00:20:48,125
That is awful and
misogynistic to use a girl
456
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:51,395
as a prize for a sporting event.
457
00:20:51,464 --> 00:20:54,698
But Chanel's worth it.
458
00:20:54,767 --> 00:20:56,467
I'm in.
459
00:21:00,039 --> 00:21:02,039
Think our wieners just
touched accidentally.
460
00:21:02,108 --> 00:21:04,341
I know they think I'm crazy
because I tend to respond
461
00:21:04,410 --> 00:21:08,045
to everything with the same extreme
level of intensity, but it was real.
462
00:21:08,114 --> 00:21:12,216
I was attacked. And I
didn't kill Werewolf Girl.
463
00:21:12,285 --> 00:21:15,085
You know, I'm actually kind
of an amateur detective,
464
00:21:15,154 --> 00:21:16,754
'cause all the Encyclopedia
Brown fan fiction I write.
465
00:21:16,822 --> 00:21:18,522
What if I helped you find proof?
466
00:21:18,591 --> 00:21:21,925
And you will not even have to
leave one quarter on the gas can.
467
00:21:21,961 --> 00:21:25,262
(BOTH LAUGH)
468
00:21:25,331 --> 00:21:26,897
Mm. I don't understand.
469
00:21:26,966 --> 00:21:28,932
It's an Encyclopedia Brown joke.
470
00:21:29,001 --> 00:21:30,501
- (CHUCKLES) Yeah.
- Mm.
471
00:21:30,569 --> 00:21:33,237
I basically have zero personality.
472
00:21:33,306 --> 00:21:36,206
I like your personality.
473
00:21:36,275 --> 00:21:37,841
MAN: You like his personality?
474
00:21:38,838 --> 00:21:42,640
And here we thought you were
just into guys who look like...
475
00:21:42,710 --> 00:21:45,045
the inside of a
hemorrhoid-infested butt.
476
00:21:45,045 --> 00:21:46,311
(MEN LAUGH)
477
00:21:46,380 --> 00:21:47,980
Dude, he looks like bubble wrap
478
00:21:48,048 --> 00:21:49,615
with a... with a staph infection.
(LAUGHS)
479
00:21:49,683 --> 00:21:51,116
No, wait. I have a better one.
480
00:21:51,185 --> 00:21:52,417
He looks like one of those...
481
00:21:54,521 --> 00:21:55,621
(GRUNTS)
482
00:21:55,656 --> 00:21:58,957
You cannot speak to him this way!
483
00:21:59,026 --> 00:22:04,329
He is a beautiful soul, and I
do not have teeth in my vagina!
484
00:22:08,569 --> 00:22:11,303
I'm... sorry.
485
00:22:11,372 --> 00:22:15,574
Sometimes I tend to overreact a little
bit since I stopped taking my meds.
486
00:22:19,813 --> 00:22:23,548
- MUNSCH: Can I help you?
- ZAYDAY: Actually, you can.
487
00:22:23,584 --> 00:22:26,151
Why did you have the online history
of this hospital scrubbed?
488
00:22:26,220 --> 00:22:27,819
What's this all about?
489
00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:30,489
On October 31, 1986,
490
00:22:30,557 --> 00:22:32,324
there was a mass murder
in this hospital,
491
00:22:32,393 --> 00:22:35,560
and all the evidence that was
left behind was green slime.
492
00:22:35,629 --> 00:22:38,597
That same green slime was there the
night that Chanel #5 was attacked,
493
00:22:38,666 --> 00:22:39,965
and you just happened to be there.
494
00:22:41,235 --> 00:22:42,567
So what is your theory?
495
00:22:42,636 --> 00:22:44,870
You attacked Chanel #5.
496
00:22:44,938 --> 00:22:46,405
Or you had someone do it.
497
00:22:46,473 --> 00:22:49,274
Me, Chanel, Number Three, Number Five...
we're your loose ends.
498
00:22:49,343 --> 00:22:53,045
You gathered us all here in one place
so you could knock us off one by one.
499
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:54,313
MUNSCH: Shh!
500
00:23:00,954 --> 00:23:03,855
I could really use a friend right now.
501
00:23:03,924 --> 00:23:05,857
Just someone to talk to.
502
00:23:05,893 --> 00:23:08,160
Just sit and listen.
503
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:15,300
Well...
504
00:23:15,369 --> 00:23:19,304
what I'm gonna tell you is in
the strictest of confidence.
505
00:23:19,373 --> 00:23:21,173
Is that understood?
506
00:23:25,312 --> 00:23:28,080
I'm not trying to murder anyone.
507
00:23:28,115 --> 00:23:30,148
I'm trying to save someone's life.
508
00:23:32,319 --> 00:23:33,819
Mine.
509
00:23:35,689 --> 00:23:38,323
The headaches started
about eight months ago.
510
00:23:38,392 --> 00:23:40,759
Just blistering headaches.
511
00:23:40,828 --> 00:23:44,763
At first, I thought it was the stress
and excitement of my book tour.
512
00:23:44,832 --> 00:23:47,466
Then the searing joint pain
513
00:23:47,534 --> 00:23:49,935
and the shivering... I-I
would freeze all night
514
00:23:50,003 --> 00:23:52,003
and wake up in a pool of sweat.
515
00:23:53,307 --> 00:23:55,006
(SIGHS)
516
00:23:55,075 --> 00:23:56,274
And then
517
00:23:56,343 --> 00:23:59,845
my neighbor...
518
00:23:59,913 --> 00:24:02,581
asked me why I was walking so weird.
519
00:24:02,649 --> 00:24:06,118
It was subtle at first, but
then I noticed it, too.
520
00:24:06,153 --> 00:24:08,987
My gait has changed.
521
00:24:09,056 --> 00:24:14,526
I-I've been to doctors and specialists.
522
00:24:14,595 --> 00:24:16,828
They just...
523
00:24:16,897 --> 00:24:19,498
they just don't know what it is.
524
00:24:19,533 --> 00:24:21,767
In fact, they don't think it's anything.
525
00:24:21,835 --> 00:24:24,503
But-but I know it's something. I...
526
00:24:24,571 --> 00:24:27,939
I just don't think I have very long.
527
00:24:28,008 --> 00:24:29,307
Look, I-I didn't start this hospital
528
00:24:29,376 --> 00:24:32,210
because I give a rat's ass about
the American health care system.
529
00:24:32,279 --> 00:24:37,315
I started it to find out what this
disease was before it kills me.
530
00:24:37,384 --> 00:24:41,019
- (CRYING): I don't think...
- Dean Munsch, I'm so sorry.
531
00:24:41,088 --> 00:24:42,854
CHAMBERLAIN: Well, you
know, the one thing
532
00:24:42,923 --> 00:24:47,626
to take into consideration is that
you lived a long, productive life.
533
00:24:47,694 --> 00:24:49,561
(CRYING)
534
00:24:49,630 --> 00:24:54,299
Please, just help me. Zayday, help me.
535
00:24:54,368 --> 00:24:57,068
Please help find the cure. Please.
536
00:25:09,983 --> 00:25:11,850
(LIGHTS BUZZING SOFTLY)
537
00:25:28,101 --> 00:25:29,367
(SHARP SCRAPE)
538
00:25:30,904 --> 00:25:33,271
(EXHALING, SOUGHING)
539
00:25:37,110 --> 00:25:38,310
(SOUGHING)
540
00:25:48,255 --> 00:25:49,187
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
541
00:25:49,256 --> 00:25:51,256
(ELEVATOR DOORS CREAK OPEN)
542
00:25:54,695 --> 00:25:55,894
(SCREAMS)
543
00:25:55,963 --> 00:25:57,062
(GRUNTING)
544
00:26:05,439 --> 00:26:06,671
(PANTING)
545
00:26:09,710 --> 00:26:10,876
(GRUNTING)
546
00:26:28,295 --> 00:26:30,962
(PANTING)
547
00:26:31,031 --> 00:26:33,298
What the hell are you?
548
00:26:33,367 --> 00:26:35,667
- CASSIDY: What's going on?
- MUNSCH: Oh! Call the police!
549
00:26:35,736 --> 00:26:38,303
No, don't call the
police; they're morons.
550
00:26:38,372 --> 00:26:39,571
Oh, my God, are you okay?
551
00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:41,139
Number Five wasn't lying.
552
00:26:41,208 --> 00:26:43,775
She was attacked, by this thing
553
00:26:43,844 --> 00:26:46,244
that I think is responsible
for all those murders here
554
00:26:46,313 --> 00:26:48,113
- 30 years ago!
- (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
555
00:26:48,181 --> 00:26:49,281
(DOORS CREAK)
556
00:26:51,385 --> 00:26:53,251
Oh, come on!
557
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:56,021
Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
558
00:26:56,089 --> 00:26:58,490
(PANTING)
559
00:26:58,559 --> 00:27:01,593
From now on, when someone has
just fought off the killer
560
00:27:01,662 --> 00:27:04,162
and they're about to reach
down and pull off the mask
561
00:27:04,197 --> 00:27:07,666
and find out who it is, not
the time to distract them
562
00:27:07,734 --> 00:27:09,267
with a bunch of questions!
563
00:27:09,336 --> 00:27:11,803
Oh, I was so close!
564
00:27:11,872 --> 00:27:13,505
(GRUNTS)
565
00:27:18,837 --> 00:27:21,004
As it turns out, Jumping
Frenchman of Maine Disease
566
00:27:21,073 --> 00:27:23,606
is one of the more treatable
rare disorders we encounter,
567
00:27:23,944 --> 00:27:27,112
so you'll be happy to know your
friend is responding very well.
568
00:27:27,181 --> 00:27:29,147
The key...
569
00:27:29,216 --> 00:27:32,184
The key is removing stimuli
through sensory deprivation
570
00:27:32,253 --> 00:27:34,353
to calm down the neurotransmitters.
571
00:27:34,421 --> 00:27:35,988
Now, we provided an
environment for Randal
572
00:27:36,056 --> 00:27:37,389
where nothing will startle him.
573
00:27:37,458 --> 00:27:39,057
(SCREAMING)
574
00:27:39,093 --> 00:27:41,393
What are you talking about?
He's still screaming.
575
00:27:42,529 --> 00:27:45,797
Perhaps I-I whipped the drapes too fast.
576
00:27:45,866 --> 00:27:48,033
Maybe next time I should
try it slower, right?
577
00:27:48,102 --> 00:27:49,701
- (RANDAL SCREAMING)
- Randal?
578
00:27:49,770 --> 00:27:51,803
Randy? Use the towel.
579
00:27:51,839 --> 00:27:53,372
Try the bucket, Randal.
580
00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:54,406
Get... put it on your head.
581
00:27:54,475 --> 00:27:56,375
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)
582
00:27:56,410 --> 00:27:57,676
Good boy, Randy.
583
00:27:57,711 --> 00:28:00,712
You see, Chad, when you've studied
medicine as long as I have,
584
00:28:00,781 --> 00:28:02,881
you come to learn that
sometimes, with treatment,
585
00:28:02,950 --> 00:28:05,851
the symptoms get a little
worse before they get better.
586
00:28:05,919 --> 00:28:07,386
What are you doing?
587
00:28:07,421 --> 00:28:08,854
Nothing.
588
00:28:08,922 --> 00:28:10,756
Well, I'm placing my
hand on your shoulder
589
00:28:10,824 --> 00:28:12,658
in a way that subtly
asserts my dominance.
590
00:28:12,726 --> 00:28:14,059
No...
591
00:28:14,128 --> 00:28:16,094
what is your other hand doing?
592
00:28:20,301 --> 00:28:21,767
Nothing.
593
00:28:21,835 --> 00:28:25,270
What do you say we give
Randal a little privacy, huh?
594
00:28:25,339 --> 00:28:26,672
(DRAPES SLIDE CLOSED)
595
00:28:27,975 --> 00:28:29,207
Come on, everyone.
596
00:28:31,011 --> 00:28:34,112
Well, well, well.
597
00:28:34,181 --> 00:28:39,551
It's a damn good thing you got
Quantico's finest on the case.
598
00:28:39,620 --> 00:28:46,391
Do you know the number one lesson
you learn as a top FBI cadet? Hmm?
599
00:28:46,460 --> 00:28:49,561
Trust your instincts.
600
00:28:49,630 --> 00:28:51,730
And do you know what
my instincts told me
601
00:28:51,799 --> 00:28:54,466
the first time I laid eyes
on that Zayday Williams?
602
00:28:54,535 --> 00:28:59,104
I was like, "This bitch right
here is a stone-cold ho."
603
00:28:59,173 --> 00:29:02,641
She tried to accuse you
of being the killer
604
00:29:02,710 --> 00:29:04,876
just to deflect the
attention off herself.
605
00:29:04,912 --> 00:29:06,712
How do we prove it's not me?
606
00:29:06,747 --> 00:29:09,548
Boom. I got you. Okay?
607
00:29:09,616 --> 00:29:13,819
This is what I learned at Quantico.
608
00:29:13,887 --> 00:29:16,154
And by watching movies about Quantico.
609
00:29:16,223 --> 00:29:18,657
Ooh, and from the hit TV show Quantico,
610
00:29:18,726 --> 00:29:21,093
now in its thrilling second season.
611
00:29:21,161 --> 00:29:23,295
(LAUGHS) Here's the thing:
612
00:29:23,364 --> 00:29:25,163
If you want to catch a killer,
613
00:29:25,232 --> 00:29:28,734
you got to get inside
the mind of a killer.
614
00:29:28,802 --> 00:29:33,905
Huh? Or in Zayday's case,
underneath the weave of a killer.
615
00:29:33,974 --> 00:29:38,877
And I know just the right person
who can help us do it. Hmm?
616
00:29:42,316 --> 00:29:43,982
CHAD: Do you think it's
weird that you're, like, 60
617
00:29:44,051 --> 00:29:45,784
and still working at
a teaching hospital?
618
00:29:45,853 --> 00:29:49,087
You should be out of school by now, bro.
619
00:29:49,123 --> 00:29:50,322
You should've graduated.
620
00:29:50,391 --> 00:29:51,823
(GRUNTS)
621
00:29:51,892 --> 00:29:53,125
Yah!
622
00:29:57,331 --> 00:29:59,364
Were you held back or something?
623
00:30:05,339 --> 00:30:07,105
(PANTING)
624
00:30:10,511 --> 00:30:13,345
You obviously grew up playing squash.
625
00:30:13,380 --> 00:30:15,313
I grew up playing
Radwell-style water polo.
626
00:30:15,382 --> 00:30:18,216
Similar rules, except the horses
get in the water on horseback.
627
00:30:21,054 --> 00:30:23,588
Actually, I've only been
playing a couple years.
628
00:30:26,693 --> 00:30:28,126
Whose hand is that, bro?
629
00:30:28,195 --> 00:30:29,728
Anonymous donor.
630
00:30:31,098 --> 00:30:32,297
I'm done.
631
00:30:32,366 --> 00:30:33,532
Oh, I'm not.
632
00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:34,733
I'm just getting started.
633
00:30:34,802 --> 00:30:36,334
Oh, and if you think
634
00:30:36,403 --> 00:30:38,336
being a doctor gives you some
sort of advantage over me,
635
00:30:38,405 --> 00:30:40,472
you're wrong. 'Cause guess what.
636
00:30:40,541 --> 00:30:42,874
I'm about to become a doctor, too.
637
00:30:42,943 --> 00:30:44,576
You realize it takes years?
638
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:48,647
I'm playing the long game.
639
00:30:52,986 --> 00:30:54,352
Back off Chanel.
640
00:30:54,421 --> 00:30:55,754
And back off me.
641
00:30:55,823 --> 00:30:59,157
This hand is capable of a lot
more than playing squash.
642
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:08,433
(DOOR BUZZES)
643
00:31:10,838 --> 00:31:13,705
(HINGES CREAK)
644
00:31:13,774 --> 00:31:15,574
She's down at the end.
645
00:31:18,078 --> 00:31:19,244
(DOOR CREAKS CLOSED)
646
00:31:19,313 --> 00:31:20,879
ORDERLY: I'll be watching.
647
00:31:20,914 --> 00:31:22,948
You'll be fine.
648
00:31:30,457 --> 00:31:32,257
MAN: Are you my birthday present?
649
00:31:32,326 --> 00:31:33,425
(CHANEL GASPS)
650
00:31:33,494 --> 00:31:37,395
Oh, that guy just threw birthday
cake frosting in my hair!
651
00:31:37,464 --> 00:31:39,197
(GASPING)
652
00:31:39,266 --> 00:31:40,232
Ugh!
653
00:31:45,205 --> 00:31:48,139
Hello, Chanel. Dean Munsch.
654
00:31:48,208 --> 00:31:49,741
Chanel #3.
655
00:31:49,810 --> 00:31:55,247
Special Agent Denise Hemphill, FBI.
656
00:31:55,315 --> 00:31:57,482
Those, uh, drawings are real nice.
657
00:31:57,551 --> 00:32:02,320
They're from memory. Memory is all I
have now that I don't have a view.
658
00:32:02,389 --> 00:32:03,822
Glad to hear you're doing well.
659
00:32:03,857 --> 00:32:05,257
We just wanted to ask
you a couple questions.
660
00:32:05,282 --> 00:32:05,724
No.
661
00:32:05,759 --> 00:32:07,425
You were just gaining my trust back
662
00:32:07,461 --> 00:32:10,161
by complimenting my
drawings, and now this
663
00:32:10,197 --> 00:32:12,564
ham-handed segue into
asking about the attacks
664
00:32:12,633 --> 00:32:14,165
that happened at your hospital.
665
00:32:14,234 --> 00:32:16,101
Oh, sookie, sookie now!
666
00:32:16,169 --> 00:32:17,836
Now how'd you know about that?
667
00:32:17,905 --> 00:32:21,273
Tell me, do these attacks
happen in the dead of night
668
00:32:21,341 --> 00:32:22,641
during the graveyard shift
669
00:32:22,709 --> 00:32:24,776
when most of your staff
has already left?
670
00:32:24,811 --> 00:32:26,077
Yes.
671
00:32:26,146 --> 00:32:28,780
And does this killer
wear a mask with horns
672
00:32:28,849 --> 00:32:32,784
and does he or she leave a trail
of green slime wherever he goes?
673
00:32:32,853 --> 00:32:34,986
You know who the killer is, don't you?
674
00:32:35,055 --> 00:32:36,588
I also know that there's a connection
675
00:32:36,657 --> 00:32:39,291
to the Halloween murders
that happened 30 years ago.
676
00:32:39,359 --> 00:32:41,693
The clues are right in
front of your face.
677
00:32:41,762 --> 00:32:43,495
You just don't see them.
678
00:32:43,564 --> 00:32:45,030
Just tell us who the killer is!
679
00:32:45,098 --> 00:32:46,431
Quid pro quo, Chanel.
680
00:32:46,500 --> 00:32:48,700
I'll tell you everything that I know.
681
00:32:48,769 --> 00:32:52,938
But first, I want a transfer to your
hospital and I want a room with a view.
682
00:32:53,006 --> 00:32:55,040
- You're insane.
- I'm not finished.
683
00:32:55,108 --> 00:32:56,374
'Cause I have a list
684
00:32:56,443 --> 00:32:59,110
of some super-high-end
beauty products that I want.
685
00:32:59,179 --> 00:33:01,479
I want a three-ounce bottle
of Lab Systique's SUPER "M"
686
00:33:01,548 --> 00:33:02,948
age-defying face serum.
687
00:33:03,016 --> 00:33:04,950
It really just makes
your skin extra glowy.
688
00:33:04,985 --> 00:33:07,285
And a bottle of Sergio
Jergoni's Luminoquintessence
689
00:33:07,354 --> 00:33:09,387
Color Control Brightening Moisturizer.
690
00:33:09,456 --> 00:33:11,189
It will wake up any skin tone.
691
00:33:11,258 --> 00:33:14,192
CHANEL: Hester, you
know that's impossible!
692
00:33:14,261 --> 00:33:16,728
Those products were discontinued,
like, ten years ago.
693
00:33:16,797 --> 00:33:18,730
You're just gonna have to
start trawling Craigslist
694
00:33:18,799 --> 00:33:21,466
for an estate sale of old French whores.
695
00:33:21,535 --> 00:33:23,702
Until then, you better start praying
696
00:33:23,770 --> 00:33:26,071
that this Green Meanie
doesn't kill again.
697
00:33:26,139 --> 00:33:28,373
Bitch, ain't nobody got time for that!
698
00:33:28,442 --> 00:33:32,477
You better take this damn ChapStick
and tell us what we need to know.
699
00:33:32,546 --> 00:33:33,878
Mm-hmm.
700
00:33:36,917 --> 00:33:40,085
You have my requests.
701
00:33:40,153 --> 00:33:42,921
Now fly away, little birds.
702
00:33:42,990 --> 00:33:44,756
Fly, fly. Fly, fly, fly.
703
00:33:50,063 --> 00:33:52,296
I had a really nice time tonight.
704
00:33:52,365 --> 00:33:53,764
Me, too.
705
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:55,466
You really had my back.
706
00:34:00,974 --> 00:34:02,840
(BOTH GASP)
707
00:34:03,810 --> 00:34:05,176
(SCREAMS)
708
00:34:05,245 --> 00:34:07,178
(NOISEMAKER BLOWS)
709
00:34:07,247 --> 00:34:09,413
BOTH: Surprise.
710
00:34:09,449 --> 00:34:12,289
- What is going on?
- You passed the test.
711
00:34:12,394 --> 00:34:13,894
What test?
712
00:34:13,962 --> 00:34:15,062
You saw somebody
713
00:34:15,130 --> 00:34:17,731
that society had decided
was hideous, and you chose
714
00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:20,000
to look past it and see the
human being underneath.
715
00:34:20,069 --> 00:34:22,702
That is something worth celebrating!
716
00:34:22,738 --> 00:34:25,806
Well... thanks, I guess.
717
00:34:25,874 --> 00:34:28,475
Not you. Him. We were testing him.
718
00:34:28,544 --> 00:34:29,910
- What?
- CHANEL: Tyler,
719
00:34:29,978 --> 00:34:31,745
you have truly learned the lesson
720
00:34:31,814 --> 00:34:33,313
that looks aren't the
only thing that matters.
721
00:34:33,382 --> 00:34:35,682
So we've decided to reward you
722
00:34:35,751 --> 00:34:37,717
by purchasing the laser
for your treatment.
723
00:34:37,753 --> 00:34:39,519
(LAUGHS): Wait. What?
724
00:34:39,588 --> 00:34:41,455
(CHANEL LAUGHS)
725
00:34:41,523 --> 00:34:43,423
CHANEL #5: Wait. How
did you get the money?
726
00:34:43,492 --> 00:34:44,858
I asked Chad for it.
727
00:34:44,927 --> 00:34:47,561
I told him it was for an experimental
weapons-grade pube laser
728
00:34:47,629 --> 00:34:48,995
that was developed by
the Chinese military
729
00:34:49,031 --> 00:34:50,397
to give me a permanently
stubble-free box.
730
00:34:50,466 --> 00:34:53,166
He started writing the check before
I even finished that phrase.
731
00:34:53,235 --> 00:34:55,235
- Thank you.
- (LAUGHS) No.
732
00:34:55,304 --> 00:34:57,604
(DOOR BELL JINGLES)
733
00:34:57,673 --> 00:34:59,339
So what'd you find out, dick?
734
00:34:59,408 --> 00:35:01,174
No, I-I prefer Richard.
735
00:35:01,243 --> 00:35:03,510
No "Richards" go by "Dick" since Nixon.
736
00:35:03,579 --> 00:35:05,178
I don't know what you're talking about.
737
00:35:05,247 --> 00:35:06,847
I'm calling you "dick"
because your late.
738
00:35:06,915 --> 00:35:09,716
Okay, let's start with the side stuff.
739
00:35:09,785 --> 00:35:11,418
Then let's move on to Dr. Holt.
740
00:35:11,487 --> 00:35:13,620
Okay, well, so, all of the girls
741
00:35:13,655 --> 00:35:14,955
that I showed that picture
of your penis to...
742
00:35:14,980 --> 00:35:15,412
Yeah.
743
00:35:15,457 --> 00:35:17,591
...thought that it looked very nice, but
744
00:35:17,659 --> 00:35:19,926
a few of them commented
about the way it, quote,
745
00:35:19,995 --> 00:35:22,796
"bends at kind of an
extreme right angle."
746
00:35:22,865 --> 00:35:24,564
- Continue.
- Okay.
747
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:25,866
As for, uh,
748
00:35:25,934 --> 00:35:30,103
Dr. Holt and his mystery
hand, let me just say this.
749
00:35:30,172 --> 00:35:31,972
Bombshell.
750
00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:34,174
I cross-referenced "donated hand"
751
00:35:34,243 --> 00:35:36,643
and "squash champion," and
I came up with a name:
752
00:35:36,712 --> 00:35:38,645
Marshall Winthrop.
753
00:35:38,714 --> 00:35:40,981
Winthrop was this
world-champion squash player.
754
00:35:41,016 --> 00:35:43,083
He won a bronze medal at the Olympics.
755
00:35:43,152 --> 00:35:47,220
But beating his opponents on
the court did not satisfy him.
756
00:35:47,289 --> 00:35:49,656
He hated them for losing.
757
00:35:49,725 --> 00:35:53,760
He considered it a sign of disrespect
to the game he loved so much.
758
00:35:58,734 --> 00:36:00,267
(GROANING)
759
00:36:00,335 --> 00:36:03,803
He started cruising for squash
opponents on Craigslist.
760
00:36:03,839 --> 00:36:05,906
He drew them in with
the promise of a game
761
00:36:05,974 --> 00:36:07,307
against one of the world's best.
762
00:36:07,376 --> 00:36:10,744
But all of them lost not only the
game, they lost their lives.
763
00:36:10,812 --> 00:36:13,580
Over 600 poor souls.
764
00:36:13,649 --> 00:36:15,682
Ooh.
765
00:36:15,717 --> 00:36:18,518
Did... did you order me something?
766
00:36:18,587 --> 00:36:21,354
Richard, we eat when we're hungry.
767
00:36:21,423 --> 00:36:22,989
BOTH: Not when we want to.
768
00:36:23,025 --> 00:36:24,858
- Right.
- Keep going.
769
00:36:26,929 --> 00:36:29,462
RICHARD: So Winthrop
was kind of an idiot,
770
00:36:29,531 --> 00:36:33,567
because eventually the police tracked
him down through the Craigslist ads.
771
00:36:33,635 --> 00:36:36,169
He was arrested before he could finish
772
00:36:36,238 --> 00:36:38,138
what he must have instinctively known
773
00:36:38,207 --> 00:36:41,007
was going to be his last supper...
774
00:36:41,076 --> 00:36:45,278
fois gras rillettes, Cabernet
Franc, rocket salad.
775
00:36:45,347 --> 00:36:49,082
Same menu Brock's hand was
subconsciously writing.
776
00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:54,187
Richard, what did we say
about personal space?
777
00:36:54,256 --> 00:36:55,855
I'm sorry.
778
00:36:55,891 --> 00:37:00,393
He was executed by the state,
but not before he became
779
00:37:00,429 --> 00:37:02,329
a full-body organ donor.
780
00:37:02,397 --> 00:37:04,397
- Oh, my God.
- Uh-huh.
781
00:37:04,466 --> 00:37:06,399
- That means...
- Yes.
782
00:37:06,468 --> 00:37:08,335
Dr. Brock Holt has the hand
783
00:37:08,403 --> 00:37:11,905
of one of the world's most
notorious serial killers.
784
00:37:14,843 --> 00:37:17,010
Shouldn't this guy be under anesthesia?
785
00:37:17,079 --> 00:37:19,179
He's dead.
786
00:37:19,248 --> 00:37:21,014
Practicing some new techniques.
787
00:37:21,083 --> 00:37:24,017
Does it bother you that when you
spank it, you're being totally gay?
788
00:37:25,300 --> 00:37:26,837
- Excuse me?
- And you're celebrating
789
00:37:27,008 --> 00:37:29,208
Palm Sunday with another
bro's hand, so...
790
00:37:29,277 --> 00:37:30,710
These are my hands.
791
00:37:30,778 --> 00:37:33,613
You know, my best bro
in college was gay.
792
00:37:33,648 --> 00:37:35,247
Till he got murdered.
793
00:37:35,316 --> 00:37:36,949
Which brings my next question.
794
00:37:37,018 --> 00:37:39,418
Is it weird for you that the
hand that burps your worm
795
00:37:39,487 --> 00:37:40,786
is the hand of a serial killer?
796
00:37:44,292 --> 00:37:46,058
So now you know my secret.
797
00:37:46,127 --> 00:37:48,361
(DOOR CREAKS)
798
00:37:48,429 --> 00:37:50,396
What are you gonna do about it?
799
00:37:50,465 --> 00:37:52,298
Oh, you'll find out.
800
00:37:59,909 --> 00:38:03,610
This is driving me insane!
Most of Dean Munsch's symptoms
801
00:38:03,635 --> 00:38:06,275
make sense... headaches,
chills, joint pains.
802
00:38:06,300 --> 00:38:07,900
That sounds autoimmune to me.
803
00:38:07,968 --> 00:38:09,501
But this...
804
00:38:09,570 --> 00:38:12,738
funny walking thing...
that's messing me up!
805
00:38:12,773 --> 00:38:14,940
(SIGHS) A strange gait?
806
00:38:15,009 --> 00:38:16,675
It's not a symptom for anything.
807
00:38:16,744 --> 00:38:18,477
Okay, can I be totally honest with you?
808
00:38:18,546 --> 00:38:21,947
I am really hungry, and I'm
having a hard time concentrating.
809
00:38:22,016 --> 00:38:23,415
I've been over there scrolling through
810
00:38:23,484 --> 00:38:26,652
Julianna Margulies's best Emmy
looks for the past 45 minutes.
811
00:38:26,720 --> 00:38:30,122
- I know this good Chinese spot.
- The Szechuan Flavor Palace?
812
00:38:30,157 --> 00:38:33,292
No. Last time I ate there, I got sick.
813
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:36,595
All right, well, you like Ethiopian
food, they got one across the street.
814
00:38:36,664 --> 00:38:39,965
But they close at 9:00,
so we got to hurry up.
815
00:38:40,034 --> 00:38:42,634
That's it.
816
00:38:44,205 --> 00:38:47,206
You haven't been to New
Guinea lately, have you?
817
00:38:47,274 --> 00:38:50,442
As a matter of fact, I have.
818
00:38:50,511 --> 00:38:52,945
You know, it was the last
leg of my book tour.
819
00:38:52,980 --> 00:38:56,281
May agent's assistant...
moron... screwed up,
820
00:38:56,350 --> 00:38:58,650
and I was supposed to do a
book signing in Princeton,
821
00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:00,886
New Jersey, and instead
she put me on a plane
822
00:39:00,955 --> 00:39:03,121
to Papua, New Guinea. (SCOFFS)
823
00:39:03,157 --> 00:39:07,059
Anyway, that's where I met Swando,
824
00:39:07,127 --> 00:39:10,562
who is a fantastic Papuan medicine man.
825
00:39:10,631 --> 00:39:14,633
And he invited me to this amazing party
826
00:39:14,702 --> 00:39:20,639
where I ate this delicious sort of
custardy, eggy, scrambled thing.
827
00:39:20,708 --> 00:39:23,408
Uh, most delicious
thing I've ever eaten.
828
00:39:23,477 --> 00:39:25,844
What? Is there a problem?
829
00:39:25,913 --> 00:39:27,746
I'm afraid you have kuru.
830
00:39:27,815 --> 00:39:29,915
- What the hell's kuru?
- It's a disease
831
00:39:29,984 --> 00:39:32,317
that cannibalists get
after they eat people.
832
00:39:32,386 --> 00:39:33,685
- I beg your pardon.
- He's right.
833
00:39:33,754 --> 00:39:35,254
It was first discovered in New Guinea
834
00:39:35,322 --> 00:39:37,055
where certain tribes
would eat the bodies
835
00:39:37,124 --> 00:39:38,423
of their deceased family members.
836
00:39:38,492 --> 00:39:40,659
Anyone who consumed the contaminated
837
00:39:40,728 --> 00:39:43,562
brain tissue would contract the disease.
838
00:39:43,631 --> 00:39:48,834
Oh, no. Oh, I just remembered.
839
00:39:48,902 --> 00:39:52,504
Swando's fantastic party was, in fact,
840
00:39:52,573 --> 00:39:54,539
-a funeral.
- (PEOPLE CHANTING)
841
00:39:54,575 --> 00:39:57,509
Okay. Well...
842
00:39:57,544 --> 00:39:59,778
So what's the treatment?
843
00:39:59,813 --> 00:40:04,516
I'm sorry, Dean Munsch, but if
you already have the symptoms,
844
00:40:04,585 --> 00:40:07,619
the literature states that you
have less than a year to live.
845
00:40:08,747 --> 00:40:10,532
There is no cure.
846
00:40:10,557 --> 00:40:11,823
Oh, my God.
847
00:40:12,545 --> 00:40:14,011
This is a secret.
848
00:40:14,047 --> 00:40:15,346
You can tell no one.
849
00:40:15,415 --> 00:40:19,250
No one must know, because
if the board finds out,
850
00:40:19,319 --> 00:40:21,819
(OVER HEADPHONES): they'll think
I'm unfit to run the hospital.
851
00:40:21,888 --> 00:40:24,322
ZAYDAY: We will keep it a secret.
852
00:40:24,390 --> 00:40:27,191
So then, they finally admitted
they were my parents,
853
00:40:27,260 --> 00:40:29,927
but only on the condition
that I never tell anyone.
854
00:40:29,996 --> 00:40:32,763
But I feel like I can
tell you, because...
855
00:40:32,799 --> 00:40:34,265
TYLER: I'm your boyfriend.
856
00:40:34,334 --> 00:40:36,934
Say it loud and proud, Chanel #5.
857
00:40:37,003 --> 00:40:39,871
I'm your boyfriend, and
you're my girlfriend.
858
00:40:39,906 --> 00:40:43,841
Thank you so much for seeing the
real me beneath all these tumors.
859
00:40:43,877 --> 00:40:48,212
Thank you for seeing the real me
beneath all of Chanel's lies.
860
00:40:48,281 --> 00:40:49,714
(TYLER CHUCKLES)
861
00:40:55,555 --> 00:40:57,521
Hey, I forgot to tell you. Yesterday,
862
00:40:57,557 --> 00:40:58,956
I went on OurOwnPrivateldaville.com.
863
00:40:59,025 --> 00:41:01,893
It's one of my favorite
Encyclopedia Brown message boards.
864
00:41:01,961 --> 00:41:03,794
And I let the Encyclopedia
Brown hive mind try
865
00:41:03,863 --> 00:41:05,997
and solve the case of the Green
Meanie who attacked you.
866
00:41:06,065 --> 00:41:07,398
Did you find something?
867
00:41:07,467 --> 00:41:09,233
Whoa, did I ever.
868
00:41:09,302 --> 00:41:12,303
You're not gonna believe this.
It's a game-changer. (LAUGHS)
869
00:41:12,372 --> 00:41:14,572
Oh, hey, what's happening?
870
00:41:14,641 --> 00:41:16,741
I'm going into surgery now?
871
00:41:16,776 --> 00:41:19,010
(LAUGHS): That's... that's amazing!
872
00:41:19,078 --> 00:41:22,146
Did you plan this? You
sneaky little girl.
873
00:41:22,215 --> 00:41:25,850
Wait, wait. No, you're not supposed
to have surgery until tomorrow.
874
00:41:25,885 --> 00:41:27,985
Hey, hey, I got to go.
They're wheeling me away.
875
00:41:28,054 --> 00:41:29,887
Look, I love you so much, and I promise
876
00:41:29,956 --> 00:41:32,356
I'm gonna keep loving
you even when I'm hot.
877
00:41:32,425 --> 00:41:33,557
(CALL ENDS)
878
00:41:33,593 --> 00:41:34,926
Baby!
879
00:41:34,994 --> 00:41:36,661
Hey, did you guys know anything
880
00:41:36,729 --> 00:41:39,030
about Tyler's surgery being
moved up to tonight?
881
00:41:39,098 --> 00:41:40,164
There's no way that's happening,
882
00:41:40,233 --> 00:41:41,899
because we just left Brock
and Cassidy, and they said
883
00:41:41,968 --> 00:41:43,467
they were going home to
have a handsome contest.
884
00:41:44,671 --> 00:41:46,871
It's where they try on different
outfits and see who's more handsome.
885
00:41:46,906 --> 00:41:51,108
Wait, but... if Brock and
Cassidy weren't there,
886
00:41:51,177 --> 00:41:54,078
then who just wheeled
Tyler into surgery?
887
00:41:54,147 --> 00:41:55,379
TYLER: Why are you strapping me down?
888
00:41:55,448 --> 00:41:58,215
Aren't I gonna be under
some sort of anesthesia?
889
00:41:59,252 --> 00:42:00,584
Hello?
890
00:42:00,653 --> 00:42:04,188
Holy crap! (GASPS)
891
00:42:04,223 --> 00:42:07,024
Please. I don't... I don't
want to die. Please.
892
00:42:07,093 --> 00:42:10,294
(CRYING): Please. Please, no!
893
00:42:10,363 --> 00:42:11,796
(GROANING, GASPING)
894
00:42:13,299 --> 00:42:15,733
Please, I-I don't want to die.
895
00:42:15,802 --> 00:42:19,203
Please don't... (SCREAMING)
896
00:42:19,272 --> 00:42:21,372
I need a hero
897
00:42:21,441 --> 00:42:24,375
I'm holding out for a hero
till the end of the night
898
00:42:24,444 --> 00:42:26,210
- (TYLER GRUNTING)
-
And he's got to be strong
899
00:42:26,279 --> 00:42:29,113
And he's got to be fast
900
00:42:29,182 --> 00:42:31,649
And he's got to be
fresh from the fight
901
00:42:31,718 --> 00:42:33,851
(TYLER SCREAMING)
902
00:42:34,988 --> 00:42:36,153
(TYLER GRUNTS, COUGHS)
903
00:42:39,692 --> 00:42:42,393
I need a hero.
904
00:42:42,462 --> 00:42:43,794
(GASPS)
905
00:42:43,830 --> 00:42:45,830
(CRYING)
906
00:42:53,973 --> 00:42:55,673
Oh, my God.
907
00:42:55,742 --> 00:42:58,009
Do you guys know what this means?
908
00:42:58,077 --> 00:43:02,346
I just lost my best chance at
happiness with a really hot guy?
909
00:43:02,415 --> 00:43:04,682
Definitely that.
910
00:43:04,751 --> 00:43:06,751
Ladies...
911
00:43:09,389 --> 00:43:12,529
...we have another serial
killer on our hands.
912
00:43:12,579 --> 00:43:17,129
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