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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,547 --> 00:00:03,516 Moira: Agghhhhhh! (Bleep) me! (Bleep) me! 2 00:00:03,550 --> 00:00:05,182 - Johnny: What? - Moira: (Bleep) me! 3 00:00:05,217 --> 00:00:07,251 - Johnny: What? - Moira: John, there's something in the bed! 4 00:00:07,286 --> 00:00:08,686 - John: What? - Moira: Something crawled up my leg and I can't see it! 5 00:00:08,721 --> 00:00:10,422 - Johnny: What? - Moira: I can't see it! 6 00:00:10,456 --> 00:00:12,390 - Johnny: A spider? - Moira: No! Something invisible like... 7 00:00:12,425 --> 00:00:15,993 Lice, or scabies, or... bed bugs! 8 00:00:16,028 --> 00:00:17,161 - Johnny: Oh, we don't have bed bugs. - (Knock at door) 9 00:00:17,195 --> 00:00:19,731 Oh, John, I can't afford to burn all my clothes! 10 00:00:19,765 --> 00:00:22,066 - Oh, Moira, relax. - (Knocking continues) 11 00:00:22,100 --> 00:00:24,635 Just relax. If we had lice, I'd have lice! 12 00:00:24,660 --> 00:00:26,643 Woman: Guess who? 13 00:00:26,668 --> 00:00:29,393 - Deedee?! - (Door creaks shut) 14 00:00:29,418 --> 00:00:33,033 - Deedee: Hi, Momo. - Moira: What the hell? 15 00:00:33,057 --> 00:00:35,525 Sorry. I know I should've called, but um... I just thought 16 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:38,961 it'd be really fun to come see my older sister 17 00:00:38,996 --> 00:00:43,300 in her... new digs. You know, a little visit. 18 00:00:43,334 --> 00:00:45,767 Oh. Um... do you really have lice? 19 00:00:45,802 --> 00:00:48,073 I'd hate to contract... lice. 20 00:00:48,098 --> 00:00:57,322 - Synced and corrected by ChrisKe - - www.addic7ed.com - 21 00:00:57,407 --> 00:01:03,288 Johnny: So, Deedee, you are... looking well. 22 00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:06,315 Deedee: Seaweed facials. I get one every week. 23 00:01:06,349 --> 00:01:08,650 But enough about me, I wanna talk about you guys. 24 00:01:08,684 --> 00:01:11,419 Mm. I want you to know that I... 25 00:01:11,453 --> 00:01:14,156 Really wanted to come and visit you 26 00:01:14,190 --> 00:01:15,690 when I heard about your life collapsing, 27 00:01:15,724 --> 00:01:17,926 but I got this really big job promotion that week 28 00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:19,761 and things got, you know, kinda crazy. 29 00:01:19,796 --> 00:01:21,963 Plus, we haven't really seen much of each other recently. 30 00:01:21,998 --> 00:01:24,432 Yes, well, we've had kind of a hectic year. 31 00:01:24,466 --> 00:01:26,367 Deedee: Well, thank goodness for the Internet! 32 00:01:26,402 --> 00:01:27,836 Seemed to be the only thing letting me know 33 00:01:27,870 --> 00:01:29,537 you two were still alive. 34 00:01:29,571 --> 00:01:31,339 Moira: Telephone is also amazing! 35 00:01:31,373 --> 00:01:33,007 You just push the buttons and say, 36 00:01:33,041 --> 00:01:36,143 "Hi, it's me, your deadbeat sister." 37 00:01:36,178 --> 00:01:38,913 Johnny: Well, it's a treat seeing you two going at it again. 38 00:01:38,947 --> 00:01:40,481 Kids! (Knocks on door) 39 00:01:40,516 --> 00:01:42,583 Come in and say hi to your aunt Deedee! 40 00:01:42,618 --> 00:01:45,553 Better hurry before she disappears for another decade. 41 00:01:45,587 --> 00:01:48,622 Deedee: (Gasps) Oh! What? 42 00:01:48,656 --> 00:01:51,858 Look at you guys! You've grown! 43 00:01:51,892 --> 00:01:53,760 Alexis: Why did I think that you were dead? 44 00:01:53,795 --> 00:01:55,995 Deedee: Ah, you're so sweet. 45 00:01:56,030 --> 00:01:58,465 Now how long has it been since we've seen each other? 46 00:01:58,499 --> 00:02:00,066 I think you crashed one of my pool parties 47 00:02:00,100 --> 00:02:03,169 with some guy you were calling "Uncle Julio." 48 00:02:03,194 --> 00:02:05,294 Oh! (Laughs) I remember that. 49 00:02:07,608 --> 00:02:08,874 All right, you guys treat yourself, okay? 50 00:02:08,908 --> 00:02:10,943 Buy yourself something nice. 51 00:02:10,977 --> 00:02:12,345 - David: A hundred dollars?! Oh my goodness, wow. - Alexis: Oh my God! Oh my God, 52 00:02:12,379 --> 00:02:15,314 I missed you! I missed you so much! 53 00:02:15,349 --> 00:02:17,450 I missed you so much! 54 00:02:17,484 --> 00:02:21,019 Oh gosh, look at that. They are sweet kids! 55 00:02:21,054 --> 00:02:22,959 I don't know what you were so worried about, Moira. 56 00:02:22,984 --> 00:02:24,985 Deedee, what are you doing here? 57 00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:26,621 Are you staying here at the motel? 58 00:02:26,655 --> 00:02:28,488 Can I... get you a room? 59 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:31,157 No. God no. 60 00:02:31,192 --> 00:02:34,294 No, I mean... no, I... I booked myself into a junior suite 61 00:02:34,329 --> 00:02:36,129 at the Comfort Inn in Elmdale, thank you. 62 00:02:36,163 --> 00:02:38,243 This is very darling, it's just it doesn't have a gym 63 00:02:38,266 --> 00:02:39,666 and I'm kind of in the best shape of my life right now 64 00:02:39,701 --> 00:02:41,017 and I kinda wanna keep it that way. 65 00:02:41,042 --> 00:02:42,603 Moira: Okay. 66 00:02:42,637 --> 00:02:44,003 (Birds chirp) 67 00:02:46,322 --> 00:02:50,343 Okay, so you're saying that I would be as in shape as you are 68 00:02:50,377 --> 00:02:51,644 if I just fixed lights all day? 69 00:02:51,678 --> 00:02:53,246 Pretty much. 70 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:55,474 Well... a few pull ups here and there. 71 00:02:55,499 --> 00:03:01,054 Okay, so you do workout. You are such a liar! (Laughing) 72 00:03:01,088 --> 00:03:05,125 David: Oh! Wow! Did Stevie say something funny or... ? 73 00:03:05,159 --> 00:03:06,626 - Stevie: Grant, this is David Rose. - David: Hi. 74 00:03:06,660 --> 00:03:08,093 He's one of our permanent guests here. 75 00:03:08,128 --> 00:03:09,544 Don't say that... again. 76 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:11,145 Grant does repairs around here. 77 00:03:11,161 --> 00:03:13,428 - Oh, great. - He was also just trying to tell me 78 00:03:13,462 --> 00:03:16,799 that he got that body from just being a handyman. 79 00:03:16,833 --> 00:03:19,526 Well, isn't Grant just a big fat liar! 80 00:03:19,551 --> 00:03:21,469 (Awkward silence) 81 00:03:21,504 --> 00:03:24,306 - Um... - I gotta grab the right marette, so... 82 00:03:24,340 --> 00:03:26,641 My head is all over the place. She keeps distracting me. 83 00:03:26,676 --> 00:03:27,975 David: (Chuckles dryly) 84 00:03:30,246 --> 00:03:34,087 Wow. He is wearing a tight shirt! 85 00:03:34,112 --> 00:03:35,517 (Chuckles) 86 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:38,696 So is he gonna do some repairs on your... on your undies? 87 00:03:38,721 --> 00:03:40,595 Who's to say he hasn't already. 88 00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:43,401 Wow! Great. 89 00:03:43,426 --> 00:03:45,191 Why, is that a problem for you? 90 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:47,459 No. No. Do you. 91 00:03:47,493 --> 00:03:50,495 Do him. Do both. Do things. 92 00:03:50,529 --> 00:03:52,130 - Stevie: Great. I think I might. - David: Yeah. 93 00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:55,067 Good. Jump in. 94 00:03:55,101 --> 00:03:57,235 (Awkward silence) 95 00:03:57,270 --> 00:03:59,104 So... 96 00:04:01,189 --> 00:04:03,908 We should probably establish some boundaries 97 00:04:03,943 --> 00:04:06,144 about this whole friends with benefits thing. 98 00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:08,179 Okay. Yeah. No, let's do that. 99 00:04:08,204 --> 00:04:10,514 Let's, uh, let's put up some boundaries 100 00:04:10,548 --> 00:04:13,017 uh, for the infrequent benefits that our friendship has. 101 00:04:13,051 --> 00:04:14,751 I think that's really good. 102 00:04:14,786 --> 00:04:17,188 Can we do that after you screw mister fix-it 103 00:04:17,222 --> 00:04:20,101 or... would you like to do it now? 104 00:04:20,126 --> 00:04:21,592 Let's throw some boundaries up. 105 00:04:21,626 --> 00:04:23,461 'Kay. 106 00:04:23,495 --> 00:04:25,229 Alexis and Ted: (Giggling) 107 00:04:25,263 --> 00:04:26,430 Alexis: Hey, Twyla. 108 00:04:26,465 --> 00:04:28,532 (Humming) 109 00:04:28,566 --> 00:04:30,666 - Twyla! - (Twyla continues humming) 110 00:04:30,701 --> 00:04:32,302 Twyla?! 111 00:04:32,336 --> 00:04:34,604 Twyla: (Humming) 112 00:04:36,645 --> 00:04:39,413 I'm so sorry. I really didn't think that was gonna hit you. 113 00:04:39,448 --> 00:04:41,182 That's okay. Your mom did the same thing to me this morning. 114 00:04:41,216 --> 00:04:43,532 - Alexis: Okay. - Twyla: What can I get you guys? 115 00:04:43,557 --> 00:04:46,526 Just coffees. Thanks. 116 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:48,017 Alexis: So what's going on over there? 117 00:04:48,026 --> 00:04:51,095 I'm just working on something. Just a little thing for Mutt. 118 00:04:51,129 --> 00:04:53,731 Alexis: Oh! Is it his birthday or something? 119 00:04:53,766 --> 00:04:55,600 Twyla: No. Um, my dad always said, 120 00:04:55,634 --> 00:04:57,335 "When in doubt, say it with a song." 121 00:04:57,369 --> 00:04:59,136 He was a roadie with Fleetwood Mac 122 00:04:59,171 --> 00:05:01,639 and that was the last thing Mick Fleetwood said to him... 123 00:05:01,674 --> 00:05:05,610 Before the band hit him with a restraining order. 124 00:05:05,644 --> 00:05:08,397 So you're writing a song for Mutt then? 125 00:05:08,422 --> 00:05:10,089 Yeah, I'm trying to. 126 00:05:10,123 --> 00:05:12,249 Cute! So what, is it about... 127 00:05:12,274 --> 00:05:15,820 Your feelings, or is it love and... what? 128 00:05:15,845 --> 00:05:17,730 Ted: Are we shooting a Dateline investigative report? 129 00:05:17,764 --> 00:05:19,765 No... we're not. 130 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:21,340 I'm just looking out for my friend. 131 00:05:21,365 --> 00:05:27,207 Um... honestly, Twy, ixnay on the ongsay. 132 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:29,675 Because I tried it once 133 00:05:29,709 --> 00:05:32,590 and the guy ripped the guitar out of my hands 134 00:05:32,615 --> 00:05:35,980 and he just started smashing it on the ground. 135 00:05:36,005 --> 00:05:39,196 Granted, I'm tone deaf and he was a... 136 00:05:39,221 --> 00:05:42,110 He was a super angry marine, but... 137 00:05:42,135 --> 00:05:44,489 Just let the girl write her boyfriend a song! 138 00:05:44,524 --> 00:05:46,790 Okay, I know! And I'm all for it, I'm all for it. 139 00:05:46,825 --> 00:05:48,289 I just think it's um... 140 00:05:48,314 --> 00:05:51,161 I think it's a super big mistake. 141 00:05:51,196 --> 00:05:52,963 (Customers murmur quietly, dishes clink) 142 00:05:52,997 --> 00:05:54,498 (Birds chirp) 143 00:06:00,145 --> 00:06:02,185 (Packaging crinkles and pops, door opens and closes) 144 00:06:03,982 --> 00:06:05,916 Jocelyn: David! 145 00:06:05,951 --> 00:06:08,418 Jocelyn. Hi. 146 00:06:08,453 --> 00:06:10,854 Can I ask you something? 147 00:06:10,889 --> 00:06:12,656 Uh... that depends. 148 00:06:12,691 --> 00:06:14,491 How shall I put this? 149 00:06:14,525 --> 00:06:16,060 You strike me as the sort of person 150 00:06:16,094 --> 00:06:18,696 that had a hard time in high school. 151 00:06:18,730 --> 00:06:20,297 Thank you. 152 00:06:20,331 --> 00:06:23,505 Your floral top, for instance. 153 00:06:24,052 --> 00:06:25,575 Is there something I can help you with? 154 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,704 Well, there's a new kid in my school 155 00:06:27,738 --> 00:06:29,305 and he's having a little trouble fitting in. 156 00:06:29,339 --> 00:06:31,474 Mm-hmm. 157 00:06:31,508 --> 00:06:33,977 He's also struggling with his sexuality, 158 00:06:34,011 --> 00:06:35,912 which I think that you may be also... 159 00:06:35,946 --> 00:06:37,413 What can I help you with, Jocelyn? 160 00:06:37,447 --> 00:06:39,782 Well, I was thinking, wouldn't it be wonderful 161 00:06:39,817 --> 00:06:41,817 if you could come down to the school, 162 00:06:41,850 --> 00:06:43,217 you know, maybe talk to him 163 00:06:43,251 --> 00:06:45,519 and tell him that... things only get better. 164 00:06:48,651 --> 00:06:53,021 The idea of me life coaching another human being 165 00:06:53,056 --> 00:06:57,392 should scare you. A lot. I don't... 166 00:06:57,426 --> 00:07:01,062 Jocelyn: I knew there was a good person in there somewhere, David. 167 00:07:01,096 --> 00:07:03,965 (Laughing) Oh, and honey, get the quilted; 168 00:07:03,999 --> 00:07:06,033 that other stuff will chafe you right up. 169 00:07:08,604 --> 00:07:10,471 Alexis: So this is weird. 170 00:07:10,505 --> 00:07:12,807 Um, today marks the longest relationship 171 00:07:12,841 --> 00:07:14,909 that I've ever voluntarily had with someone. 172 00:07:14,943 --> 00:07:16,386 Mutt: Voluntarily. 173 00:07:16,411 --> 00:07:19,293 Alexis: Yeah. The actual longest relationship was um... 174 00:07:19,309 --> 00:07:21,127 A three month affair with a Saudi prince, 175 00:07:21,152 --> 00:07:22,787 but for the last two months of that 176 00:07:22,821 --> 00:07:25,222 I was trapped in his palace trying to get to an embassy. 177 00:07:25,256 --> 00:07:28,125 Um, so... hey. How is it going with you and Twyla? 178 00:07:28,159 --> 00:07:30,060 You guys are looking cute. 179 00:07:30,085 --> 00:07:33,850 Uh... I don't know. 180 00:07:34,700 --> 00:07:35,999 Why? What's going on? 181 00:07:36,034 --> 00:07:38,435 (Garbage bag drops) 182 00:07:40,982 --> 00:07:43,373 I dunno. It... it's nothing. It's fine. 183 00:07:43,407 --> 00:07:46,343 Okay, if my boyfriend ever described 184 00:07:46,377 --> 00:07:48,878 our relationship as "fine," I think I would literally... 185 00:07:48,912 --> 00:07:51,895 it's just... it feels like it's run its course. 186 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:56,809 - Alexis: What? - Mutt: And I think we've both known it for a while now. 187 00:07:57,787 --> 00:08:00,356 Oh. 188 00:08:00,990 --> 00:08:03,724 (Music plays quietly, door bells jingle) 189 00:08:03,759 --> 00:08:05,160 (Heels clack) 190 00:08:07,239 --> 00:08:10,598 Oh, give me a break. How did you find me? 191 00:08:10,632 --> 00:08:13,835 Well, where else is there to go? 192 00:08:13,869 --> 00:08:15,403 And Johnny may have told me. 193 00:08:15,438 --> 00:08:17,371 Thank you, Johnny. 194 00:08:17,405 --> 00:08:19,840 Moira, why are you making this so difficult for me? 195 00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:22,042 Moira: Oh... where do I start? 196 00:08:22,077 --> 00:08:24,177 Um, you know, I think it's best we don't go there. 197 00:08:24,211 --> 00:08:27,211 No, I'd like to go there. Please, take me. 198 00:08:27,235 --> 00:08:30,617 Fifty thousand dollars. Does that sound familiar? 199 00:08:30,642 --> 00:08:33,240 - Yes. You gave that to me as a downpayment - No! Loaned it. 200 00:08:33,274 --> 00:08:35,186 You gave it to me as a down payment 201 00:08:35,211 --> 00:08:36,744 for my buffalonian town house. 202 00:08:36,778 --> 00:08:39,508 We handed you the money and you said... ? 203 00:08:43,018 --> 00:08:44,951 Deedee: Thank you? Moira: Oh, too late. 204 00:08:44,986 --> 00:08:48,666 Well, Moira, considering you had 205 00:08:48,713 --> 00:08:50,957 over 500 million dollars in the bank, 206 00:08:50,992 --> 00:08:53,391 I'm a little personally offended that I didn't get more. 207 00:08:53,416 --> 00:08:54,694 Go away, Deedee. 208 00:08:54,729 --> 00:08:59,365 No. No. Not until I do what I came here to do. 209 00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:01,501 Didn't want to hurt your feelings, but I forgot. 210 00:09:01,536 --> 00:09:03,102 - Moira: don't you dare. - Deedee: You don't have feelings. 211 00:09:03,137 --> 00:09:06,205 - Moira: Don't you dare. - Deedee: Yes, yes. I am paying you back. 212 00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:07,986 It's not everything, but it's a start. 213 00:09:08,011 --> 00:09:10,079 (Ripping) 214 00:09:14,933 --> 00:09:16,253 Johnny: So walk me through this... 215 00:09:16,268 --> 00:09:19,136 She offered you a cheque and you turned it down? 216 00:09:19,171 --> 00:09:21,038 Moira: She was insulting us! 217 00:09:21,073 --> 00:09:23,941 Moira, the woman dates dive bar owners, okay? 218 00:09:23,976 --> 00:09:26,177 Let her insult us! 219 00:09:26,211 --> 00:09:27,544 Well, I don't know whether you've noticed, 220 00:09:27,579 --> 00:09:29,713 - but we could use the money. - (Toilet flushes) 221 00:09:29,748 --> 00:09:31,548 You talk about bed bugs? 222 00:09:31,583 --> 00:09:33,384 That check could pay for fumigation. 223 00:09:33,418 --> 00:09:35,519 Better yet, we could move to a place 224 00:09:35,553 --> 00:09:37,021 that doesn't have bed bugs. 225 00:09:37,055 --> 00:09:39,590 I don't want her money. I want our money. 226 00:09:39,624 --> 00:09:42,326 She owes us! We loaned her $50,000 dollars! 227 00:09:42,361 --> 00:09:44,762 Johnny: We gave her $50,000 dollars, 228 00:09:44,796 --> 00:09:47,469 and you spent more than that on wigs that year. 229 00:09:47,494 --> 00:09:50,200 I don't see any one else lining up to give us cheques. 230 00:09:50,234 --> 00:09:53,669 Moira: Why are you taking her side? 231 00:09:53,704 --> 00:09:55,972 Johnny: I'm not taking her side, but she's offering us a way out 232 00:09:56,007 --> 00:09:58,141 and you're letting your pride get in the way. 233 00:09:58,175 --> 00:09:59,943 It's all I have left, John, literally. 234 00:09:59,977 --> 00:10:01,378 Johnny: Swallow it, Moira. 235 00:10:01,412 --> 00:10:04,214 - Moira: I can't. - Johnny: Yes, you can. 236 00:10:04,248 --> 00:10:06,849 And then we can buy a case of champagne 237 00:10:06,884 --> 00:10:09,018 to wash it down with. 238 00:10:09,052 --> 00:10:11,820 (Angry breath) 239 00:10:11,854 --> 00:10:13,789 David: So... you and Grant. 240 00:10:13,823 --> 00:10:16,191 How are things going? 241 00:10:16,226 --> 00:10:19,161 Uh... well, he asked me out for dinner tonight, 242 00:10:19,195 --> 00:10:21,430 so... we're gonna do that. 243 00:10:21,464 --> 00:10:22,664 We're gonna go for dinner, Grant and I. 244 00:10:22,698 --> 00:10:25,834 Yeah! Yeah, that's... 245 00:10:25,868 --> 00:10:28,270 Well, he seems like a really like respectable guy. 246 00:10:28,305 --> 00:10:30,671 Like one of those guys that has like a... 247 00:10:30,705 --> 00:10:33,607 Candy bowl of condoms on his bedside table or something. 248 00:10:33,642 --> 00:10:35,376 Stevie: Oh, hope so. Wonder what colour I'll get. 249 00:10:35,411 --> 00:10:36,577 - David: Yeah! - (Chuckles awkwardly) 250 00:10:36,611 --> 00:10:40,481 So I am mentoring a teen in crisis... later. 251 00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:41,849 That's what I'm doing. 252 00:10:41,883 --> 00:10:44,085 One of Jocelyn's students, so... 253 00:10:44,119 --> 00:10:45,886 He's being bullied because he's different, 254 00:10:45,921 --> 00:10:48,022 so I'm helping to change his life. 255 00:10:48,057 --> 00:10:49,656 Giving back, so... 256 00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:52,192 - Stevie: Wow... - David: Yeah. 257 00:10:52,226 --> 00:10:54,627 And on a scale of one to ten, 258 00:10:54,662 --> 00:10:58,298 how much are you looking forward to that? 259 00:10:58,333 --> 00:11:00,968 Three point five. I'm gonna leave you be 260 00:11:01,002 --> 00:11:02,669 because it's not everyday you get to go on a date 261 00:11:02,703 --> 00:11:04,938 with a guy who owns a windowless van, so... 262 00:11:04,973 --> 00:11:06,606 - (door opens) - Oh, Grant. 263 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:08,475 Grant: Hi! (Door bangs shut) 264 00:11:08,509 --> 00:11:10,509 (Laughs awkwardly) 265 00:11:10,543 --> 00:11:12,438 Grant: What're you doing? You checking out porn again? 266 00:11:12,463 --> 00:11:13,946 (Fake laughs) I'm gonna go. 267 00:11:13,981 --> 00:11:15,948 I'm gonna go. Um... 268 00:11:15,983 --> 00:11:17,549 Warmest regards to you both. 269 00:11:17,584 --> 00:11:21,120 Stevie: Best wishes. 270 00:11:21,154 --> 00:11:22,488 (Door closes) 271 00:11:22,522 --> 00:11:25,358 Such a weird dude. 272 00:11:25,392 --> 00:11:27,059 Yes. Yes, he is. 273 00:11:31,462 --> 00:11:34,864 (Floor creaks underfoot) 274 00:11:46,278 --> 00:11:47,846 (Loud metallic crash) 275 00:11:50,414 --> 00:11:52,608 (Plastic planets bounce on the floor) 276 00:11:52,633 --> 00:11:54,253 You must be Connor. 277 00:11:54,278 --> 00:11:57,333 Yeah. 278 00:11:57,341 --> 00:11:59,386 David: I don't know how much Mrs. Schitt has told you, 279 00:11:59,411 --> 00:12:02,511 but she asked me to come in and have a chat. 280 00:12:02,545 --> 00:12:06,615 She thinks that since we're both... new here 281 00:12:06,649 --> 00:12:08,117 it might be worth talking about some things 282 00:12:08,151 --> 00:12:11,200 like, you know, fitting in. 283 00:12:15,529 --> 00:12:18,798 Apparently you're having trouble fitting in. 284 00:12:18,832 --> 00:12:21,133 Who... who... who are... who are you? 285 00:12:21,167 --> 00:12:23,034 Oh, my name is David. 286 00:12:23,069 --> 00:12:25,337 Are you... like a doctor or something? 287 00:12:25,371 --> 00:12:26,505 A psychologist? 288 00:12:26,539 --> 00:12:28,340 Am I what? N-uh, no. 289 00:12:28,374 --> 00:12:31,510 So why would I talk to you? 290 00:12:31,544 --> 00:12:34,679 I don't know. Because your teacher is concerned 291 00:12:34,714 --> 00:12:36,448 that you're having trouble adjusting. 292 00:12:36,483 --> 00:12:40,051 So she told you to come here and... and what, help... help me? 293 00:12:40,086 --> 00:12:43,488 Look at you. Look at your pants. 294 00:12:43,522 --> 00:12:46,056 Excuse me! I am sensing a tinge of disrespect here. 295 00:12:46,091 --> 00:12:47,625 I'll tell you what my problem is. 296 00:12:47,659 --> 00:12:49,460 I'm a 16-year-old gay kid 297 00:12:49,495 --> 00:12:52,062 living in a town that makes me wanna throw up. 298 00:12:52,097 --> 00:12:53,598 The issue isn't me not fitting in. 299 00:12:53,632 --> 00:12:57,001 It's me not wanting to fit in. 300 00:12:57,035 --> 00:13:01,004 Is there anything else you wanna, you wanna help me with? 301 00:13:04,125 --> 00:13:05,041 No. 302 00:13:05,075 --> 00:13:06,343 (Awkward silence) 303 00:13:08,579 --> 00:13:10,780 (Birds chirp, car rumbles) 304 00:13:10,814 --> 00:13:12,249 (Music plays quietly) 305 00:13:19,758 --> 00:13:22,759 Moira: Go ahead and order whatever you want. This is on us. 306 00:13:22,793 --> 00:13:25,962 Deedee: Oh. They're letting you run up a long tab, are they? 307 00:13:25,996 --> 00:13:28,097 Moira: You see? 308 00:13:28,132 --> 00:13:30,667 Well, I hear the pork is very good here. 309 00:13:30,701 --> 00:13:33,670 The ribs, the chops, the roast... 310 00:13:33,704 --> 00:13:35,735 Nothing for me, thanks. 311 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:38,707 Well, isn't that funny. Because Moira doesn't eat here either. 312 00:13:38,741 --> 00:13:40,476 But I will be eating and I just don't know 313 00:13:40,510 --> 00:13:42,678 whether to have the ribs or the chops, 314 00:13:42,712 --> 00:13:44,880 but I'm definitely ordering pork. 315 00:13:44,914 --> 00:13:47,149 Moira: If you mention pork one more time... 316 00:13:47,184 --> 00:13:49,485 Moira, um... don't you have something 317 00:13:49,519 --> 00:13:50,752 you wanna say to your sister? 318 00:13:50,787 --> 00:13:52,154 Moira: No. 319 00:13:52,189 --> 00:13:53,922 Oh, I'm pretty sure you do. 320 00:13:53,956 --> 00:13:56,024 I'm pretty sure I don't. 321 00:13:56,059 --> 00:13:58,326 Thank you for trying, Johnny. Truly. 322 00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:00,528 But like I'm just really uncomfortable right now 323 00:14:00,563 --> 00:14:03,164 with my older sister acting like a stubborn child. 324 00:14:03,199 --> 00:14:05,500 Johnny: Okay, why don't we all take a deep breath here 325 00:14:05,534 --> 00:14:09,937 and try and remember what's really important, okay? 326 00:14:09,971 --> 00:14:14,123 We are family, and we have to hang onto that. 327 00:14:15,110 --> 00:14:16,410 And you know as well as I do, Moira, 328 00:14:16,444 --> 00:14:18,212 that in times of crisis, 329 00:14:18,246 --> 00:14:21,781 the one thing we need to hang onto is family. 330 00:14:21,916 --> 00:14:23,016 Moira: Okay, okay. (Clears throat) 331 00:14:23,050 --> 00:14:25,218 Deedee... 332 00:14:28,389 --> 00:14:31,324 We appreciate you coming to this town... 333 00:14:31,358 --> 00:14:34,861 And offering whatever it is you're offering. 334 00:14:34,895 --> 00:14:36,963 Much appreciated. 'Cause seriously, 335 00:14:36,997 --> 00:14:38,198 I thought you were just coming here to gloat. 336 00:14:38,232 --> 00:14:40,233 Deedee: No, no, no. 337 00:14:40,267 --> 00:14:44,204 I came here in the spirit of giving and forgiving. 338 00:14:44,238 --> 00:14:47,006 The... the gloating thing was a bonus. 339 00:14:47,041 --> 00:14:49,171 Moira, go on... 340 00:14:50,878 --> 00:14:53,378 Deedee: Yes, go on. 341 00:14:58,651 --> 00:15:02,287 Moira: We need help. Please help us. 342 00:15:05,258 --> 00:15:10,461 Okay! I will. Hmm? 343 00:15:10,563 --> 00:15:13,698 Oh! 344 00:15:13,733 --> 00:15:16,167 I'm gonna do this for you, but mostly, I'm doing it for me. 345 00:15:16,201 --> 00:15:18,970 Why? Because you can't... And I can. 346 00:15:19,004 --> 00:15:20,872 Okay. 347 00:15:20,906 --> 00:15:22,440 (Pen clicks) 348 00:15:22,475 --> 00:15:24,175 How much are we gonna make this out for? 349 00:15:24,209 --> 00:15:27,712 Oh... sh... I haven't the foggiest. I couldn't... (Chuckles) 350 00:15:27,747 --> 00:15:29,247 I couldn't come up with a number. 351 00:15:29,281 --> 00:15:32,784 I mean, I... whatever you think is fair. 352 00:15:32,818 --> 00:15:35,118 Well, you guys gave me fifty grand, right? 353 00:15:35,152 --> 00:15:39,556 Yes, we gave you fifty thousand when we had the money. 354 00:15:39,591 --> 00:15:44,695 But I can't... I can't ask you for fifty thousand dollars. 355 00:15:44,729 --> 00:15:48,599 Whatever you think is the... Equivalent amount. 356 00:15:48,633 --> 00:15:51,502 (Pen clicking) Okay, I think I can do you... 357 00:15:51,536 --> 00:15:53,236 (Pen clicks) A little better than that. 358 00:15:53,271 --> 00:15:54,738 Okay? (Scribbling) 359 00:16:00,711 --> 00:16:07,268 Oh, so... unnecessary, Deedee, but thank you. 360 00:16:08,552 --> 00:16:11,621 Well, who's up for pork? 361 00:16:11,655 --> 00:16:13,790 Connor: Okay... so you're telling me 362 00:16:13,824 --> 00:16:16,257 your girlfriend is on a date with someone else 363 00:16:16,292 --> 00:16:18,192 and, instead of doing something about it, 364 00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:20,361 you're here talking to me, 365 00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:22,431 a kid who practically has no respect for you. 366 00:16:22,465 --> 00:16:24,866 Well, first of all, you're a little bitchy. 367 00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:27,268 Second of all, she is not my girlfriend. 368 00:16:27,303 --> 00:16:29,404 She's someone I'm occasionally having sex with 369 00:16:29,439 --> 00:16:31,907 because we're bored and desperate. 370 00:16:31,941 --> 00:16:35,009 Ah... you're doing a friends with benefits thing with this girl. 371 00:16:35,044 --> 00:16:37,010 Have you not seen the 42 films they've made about it? 372 00:16:37,045 --> 00:16:39,780 It never works. 373 00:16:39,815 --> 00:16:42,416 Okay, well, movies aren't always right, all right? 374 00:16:42,451 --> 00:16:43,731 You'll learn that later in life. 375 00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:45,619 I happen to be a little bit older than you are, so... 376 00:16:45,654 --> 00:16:47,120 - Connor: Obviously. - David: Okay. 377 00:16:47,155 --> 00:16:48,355 Well, I think we're good here. 378 00:16:51,259 --> 00:16:53,461 You're gonna be okay, right? You're stable? 379 00:16:53,495 --> 00:16:55,495 I have a party later. Can you buy me some beer? 380 00:16:55,529 --> 00:16:58,380 Uh, no. Can you buy me some beer?! 381 00:17:02,870 --> 00:17:05,772 (Door bells jingle as door opens and closes) 382 00:17:05,806 --> 00:17:08,908 (Music plays quietly) 383 00:17:08,943 --> 00:17:11,478 Alexis: Hey! Can I grab a glass of water? 384 00:17:11,512 --> 00:17:13,312 - Twyla: Yeah, sure. - Alexis: Thank you. 385 00:17:13,347 --> 00:17:15,514 So how's the uh... song going? 386 00:17:15,548 --> 00:17:17,149 Is that... Is the song still a thing? 387 00:17:17,184 --> 00:17:19,452 Yeah! Do you wanna hear some of it? 388 00:17:19,486 --> 00:17:22,588 Um, I would love to, but I actually hate music, 389 00:17:22,622 --> 00:17:24,723 so... I don't think I'd be a very good judge. 390 00:17:24,757 --> 00:17:27,193 - Twyla: You hate music? - Alexis: Mm-hmm... 391 00:17:27,227 --> 00:17:29,308 Are we sure that Mutt likes music? 392 00:17:29,333 --> 00:17:32,498 'Cause I feel like if he didn't it could be kind of... awkward. 393 00:17:32,532 --> 00:17:34,566 Are you feeling okay? 394 00:17:34,601 --> 00:17:40,331 Alexis: Um... I just don't think that... The song thing is a good idea. 395 00:17:40,539 --> 00:17:43,674 For, like, a lot of reasons. 396 00:17:43,709 --> 00:17:45,543 Um... are you sure that you wanna put yourself 397 00:17:45,577 --> 00:17:48,346 in such a vulnerable situation, Twy? 398 00:17:48,381 --> 00:17:50,548 Are you saying you don't think Mutt would like it? 399 00:17:50,582 --> 00:17:54,119 I don't know. I mean... I'm not sure. 400 00:17:54,153 --> 00:17:56,086 Maybe, but... I don't... I'm not... 401 00:17:56,121 --> 00:17:58,022 yeah, I'm not sure. 402 00:17:58,056 --> 00:18:00,491 Did you talk to Mutt? Because I know that... 403 00:18:00,525 --> 00:18:02,426 We've been sort of off for a while. 404 00:18:02,460 --> 00:18:04,294 And I've been just trying to think of things to make it better 405 00:18:04,329 --> 00:18:06,529 and so I'm... you know, I'm just trying to make it work. 406 00:18:09,334 --> 00:18:12,369 I think that you should talk to Mutt before... 407 00:18:12,404 --> 00:18:14,071 Breaking into song. 408 00:18:20,344 --> 00:18:22,945 Twyla: Thank you, Alexis. 409 00:18:22,979 --> 00:18:25,415 For what? 410 00:18:25,449 --> 00:18:26,882 Bye. 411 00:18:26,917 --> 00:18:28,918 (Music plays quietly) 412 00:18:28,952 --> 00:18:32,268 (Door opens and closes) 413 00:18:33,623 --> 00:18:35,391 (Crickets chirp) 414 00:18:38,494 --> 00:18:42,344 Twyla: In all honesty, Mutt was just a place holder. 415 00:18:42,369 --> 00:18:45,233 According to my tea leaves, the guy I'm suppose to marry is black, so... 416 00:18:45,268 --> 00:18:46,134 (Door opens and closes) 417 00:18:48,406 --> 00:18:49,337 David: Oh. 418 00:18:49,372 --> 00:18:51,740 - Stevie: What and why are we drinking? - David: Oh my goodness! 419 00:18:51,775 --> 00:18:55,444 Um, I don't know, and today, some snippy teen told me 420 00:18:55,478 --> 00:18:57,479 that my life was a mess, so... 421 00:18:57,513 --> 00:19:00,427 And I am now a single person. 422 00:19:00,816 --> 00:19:03,107 Stevie: Oh... 423 00:19:03,132 --> 00:19:06,788 So did you spend the night washing your clothes on Grant's abs? 424 00:19:06,822 --> 00:19:08,790 - Stevie: You're funny. - David: Mm-hmm. 425 00:19:08,824 --> 00:19:10,925 Um, Grant went to the bathroom and never came back. 426 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:12,494 - Stevie: Thank you. - David: What? 427 00:19:12,528 --> 00:19:14,488 He w... he went to the bathroom and never came back? 428 00:19:14,497 --> 00:19:16,364 - Stevie: Mm-hmm. - David: Oh... 429 00:19:16,399 --> 00:19:18,433 So either I was stood up halfway through my date 430 00:19:18,468 --> 00:19:21,703 or Grant has some serious digestive issues. 431 00:19:21,737 --> 00:19:24,639 - Twyla: Mm. - David: Wow. Sounds like a real catch. 432 00:19:24,673 --> 00:19:27,441 - Stevie: Mm-hmm... - David: Um... (Taps finger) 433 00:19:27,476 --> 00:19:31,579 So word on teen street is that our little... 434 00:19:31,614 --> 00:19:35,216 Friends with benefits situation is a- 435 00:19:35,250 --> 00:19:37,852 - Stevie: Not a good idea? - David: Is a bad idea. 436 00:19:37,886 --> 00:19:39,920 And because I don't have any other friends here, 437 00:19:39,954 --> 00:19:42,556 I can't afford to lose you, so... 438 00:19:42,591 --> 00:19:44,358 I think it's best if we just... 439 00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:45,326 - Stevie: Friends. - David: Friends. Yup. 440 00:19:45,360 --> 00:19:47,228 I think that's best. 441 00:19:47,262 --> 00:19:49,196 Good. This is good. 442 00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:50,431 - David: That's good, right? - Stevie: That's good. 443 00:19:50,465 --> 00:19:53,534 Okay. Well... Warmest wishes to that. 444 00:19:53,568 --> 00:19:54,635 Kindest regards. 445 00:19:54,669 --> 00:19:56,003 David: Yeah! 446 00:19:56,037 --> 00:19:57,904 - (Glasses clink) - Twyla: Cheers! 447 00:19:57,939 --> 00:20:00,773 All: (Sipping) 448 00:20:00,807 --> 00:20:03,343 - David: Whoa. Twy... - Twyla: Mm... 449 00:20:03,377 --> 00:20:05,845 - David: That's... - Twyla: It's good, right? 450 00:20:05,879 --> 00:20:08,027 - David: My eyes are tearing. - Twyla: (Laughs) 451 00:20:09,371 --> 00:20:11,706 So this is it? 452 00:20:11,741 --> 00:20:13,508 After all that? 453 00:20:16,782 --> 00:20:19,550 And we paid for the dinner! 454 00:20:19,575 --> 00:20:21,576 So we lost money on the whole deal. 455 00:20:25,838 --> 00:20:29,241 I'll tell ya, she's gonna be embarrassed 456 00:20:29,266 --> 00:20:31,295 when this thing gets cashed. 457 00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:35,514 She will be embarrassed. She missed a zero. 458 00:20:36,100 --> 00:20:38,358 Moira, she missed a zero or two. 459 00:20:40,135 --> 00:20:42,502 I... you know what? 460 00:20:42,537 --> 00:20:44,003 I'm gonna call her. I'm calling her right now, 461 00:20:44,038 --> 00:20:47,150 that... What a cheap-ass amount! 462 00:20:47,175 --> 00:20:49,775 Moira: (Light clicks off) Turn your light off, John. 463 00:20:52,536 --> 00:20:55,005 Your sister is a cheap ass. 464 00:21:05,617 --> 00:21:08,795 (Sighs heavily, light clicks off) 465 00:21:08,820 --> 00:21:10,093 (Grumbles) Cheap ass. 466 00:21:12,962 --> 00:21:15,771 We're planning a surprise 467 00:21:15,796 --> 00:21:16,796 party for your mother. 468 00:21:16,797 --> 00:21:18,530 Listen to the words coming out of your mouth. 469 00:21:18,532 --> 00:21:19,397 Then you plan it. 470 00:21:19,399 --> 00:21:20,231 No! 471 00:21:20,233 --> 00:21:21,366 Oh, he snap-diva'd! 472 00:21:21,368 --> 00:21:22,434 Talk to the hand, son, 473 00:21:22,436 --> 00:21:24,770 because the ears are no longer working. 474 00:21:24,772 --> 00:21:25,804 Oh my God. 475 00:21:25,806 --> 00:21:28,507 Okay, that's not at all how that works. 476 00:21:28,531 --> 00:21:30,531 - Synced and corrected by ChrisKe - - www.addic7ed.com - 477 00:21:30,581 --> 00:21:35,131 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36402

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