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1
00:00:01,234 --> 00:00:03,168
[harmonica]
2
00:00:08,208 --> 00:00:10,209
I'm so sick of this.
3
00:00:10,210 --> 00:00:12,511
Your dad is not leaving
that greasy engine
4
00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:14,713
Out on the lawn
for one more day.
5
00:00:14,714 --> 00:00:18,917
It's starting to
attract stupid guys in t-shirts.
6
00:00:18,918 --> 00:00:20,619
I wouldn't bother him
right now, mom.
7
00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:21,920
He's real upset
'cause grandma called
8
00:00:21,921 --> 00:00:23,188
And she needs
money from us.
9
00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:25,624
Well, we are not
giving that crazy woman
10
00:00:25,625 --> 00:00:27,226
Any more of our money.
11
00:00:27,227 --> 00:00:28,394
Last time we did that,
12
00:00:28,395 --> 00:00:30,062
She spent it all
on dionne warwick
13
00:00:30,063 --> 00:00:31,463
And her psychic friends.
14
00:00:34,267 --> 00:00:36,769
D.J., your shoes
are caked with mud!
15
00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:38,470
Get 'em off my couch!
16
00:00:38,471 --> 00:00:39,905
Okay.
17
00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:43,909
You know, uh, D.J.,
18
00:00:43,910 --> 00:00:46,879
This rebellious phase
you're going through...
19
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,313
Is over.
20
00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:51,450
Go take off
those muddy shoes.
21
00:00:51,451 --> 00:00:52,651
Roseanne!
22
00:00:52,652 --> 00:00:54,253
We got to talk
about my mother.
23
00:00:57,057 --> 00:01:00,325
Okay, you want to talk,
we'll talk.
24
00:01:00,326 --> 00:01:02,294
I got something
to tell you,
25
00:01:02,295 --> 00:01:04,663
And I don't want
any grief, understand?
26
00:01:04,664 --> 00:01:06,398
My dad missed
an alimony payment.
27
00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:08,067
I got to give
my mom some money,
28
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,968
And i'm not talking
10 or 20 bucks here.
29
00:01:09,969 --> 00:01:11,236
It's more like 400.
30
00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:13,505
Well, god, Dan.
31
00:01:13,506 --> 00:01:15,007
I mean, it is
your mother.
32
00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:16,375
Did you think
i'd object?
33
00:01:16,376 --> 00:01:18,210
What kind of a person
do you think I am?
34
00:01:20,513 --> 00:01:22,114
I'm sorry.
35
00:01:22,115 --> 00:01:24,950
Just...I'm so upset
with my dad.
36
00:01:24,951 --> 00:01:27,519
Why the hell can't he
ever just be a man?
37
00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:31,090
Well, gee, mom,
38
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:32,725
You sure handled him.
39
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,327
Well, Becky,
you really have
40
00:01:35,328 --> 00:01:36,795
To look at
the big picture.
41
00:01:36,796 --> 00:01:38,630
Now, your father's
in a bad mood,
42
00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:45,471
Instead he'll yell
at somebody else,
43
00:01:45,472 --> 00:01:46,538
Blow off some steam,
44
00:01:46,539 --> 00:01:48,073
And then i'll
go at him.
45
00:01:49,509 --> 00:01:52,511
Okay, mom,
I took off my shoes.
46
00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:58,250
You are just
so clever, D.J.
47
00:01:58,251 --> 00:02:00,486
You outwit me
at every turn.
48
00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:03,555
I just don't even
know what to say.
49
00:02:03,556 --> 00:02:05,190
Thanks.
50
00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:09,561
Could you do your real
stupid mother a favor?
51
00:02:09,562 --> 00:02:10,896
Would you go
ask your dad
52
00:02:10,897 --> 00:02:12,698
To move his engine
off the front lawn?
53
00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:16,735
Okay.
54
00:02:16,736 --> 00:02:18,671
[theme]
55
00:03:12,058 --> 00:03:13,158
[door opens]
56
00:03:14,627 --> 00:03:17,229
You're late.
57
00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:18,664
We'd have been
here sooner
58
00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:19,965
If she hadn't spent
so much time
59
00:03:19,966 --> 00:03:21,400
Putting on
the makeup.
60
00:03:21,401 --> 00:03:23,302
Well, it's a little
hard to apply eyeliner
61
00:03:23,303 --> 00:03:25,237
When something's
suckling on your boob.
62
00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:30,109
I know, that's why
I make Dan dress
63
00:03:30,110 --> 00:03:31,643
In the other room.
64
00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:37,049
Baby...
Little baby.
65
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,250
I'll be right back.
66
00:03:38,251 --> 00:03:40,052
I'm just gonna
top him off.
67
00:03:41,821 --> 00:03:44,390
We really appreciate
you watching him for us, Roseanne.
68
00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:46,825
Lately it's been
kind of hard for us to get any time together.
69
00:03:46,826 --> 00:03:48,560
Yeah, well,
who would have thought
70
00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:51,663
That a screaming,
leaking bundle of smells
71
00:03:51,664 --> 00:03:53,766
Would kill the romance?
72
00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:55,801
I don't think
it's the baby.
73
00:03:55,802 --> 00:03:57,302
I think it's just
that Jackie
74
00:03:57,303 --> 00:03:59,638
Is a little hard
to get close to.
75
00:03:59,639 --> 00:04:02,174
I mean, I know she
hasn't had a lot of experience with men.
76
00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:03,642
[chuckles]
77
00:04:04,844 --> 00:04:06,045
What?
78
00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:07,112
Hey.
79
00:04:07,113 --> 00:04:10,015
So...Fred,
you're worried
80
00:04:10,016 --> 00:04:12,985
That Jackie hasn't
had enough experience with men.
81
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:14,353
[snorts]
82
00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,058
Yeah.
83
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:21,293
[Jackie]
Roseanne, can you come here a minute?
84
00:04:21,294 --> 00:04:22,394
Well, trust me, Fred,
85
00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:23,962
You've got nothing
to worry about.
86
00:04:23,963 --> 00:04:25,864
Jackie knows her way
around a man.
87
00:04:25,865 --> 00:04:27,166
We could blindfold her
88
00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:28,567
And she could
take one apart
89
00:04:28,568 --> 00:04:30,836
And put him right
back together again.
90
00:04:32,372 --> 00:04:33,972
Well, Fred,
you and Jackie
91
00:04:33,973 --> 00:04:35,474
Dropping the baby
off here
92
00:04:35,475 --> 00:04:37,443
And going out
on a date.
93
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:39,678
Things getting serious
between you two?
94
00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:45,684
Has she really been out
with a lot of guys?
95
00:04:45,685 --> 00:04:48,420
Ah, Fred...
96
00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:50,489
When doing a background
check on a girlfriend,
97
00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:52,958
It's rarely wise to
ask the brother-in-law.
98
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:56,028
Especially when his wife
is the ham-fisted Roseanne.
99
00:04:57,797 --> 00:05:00,165
Let me just say this
about jackie's past.
100
00:05:01,601 --> 00:05:02,968
Hoo-ah!
101
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,506
The head.
The head!
102
00:05:07,507 --> 00:05:09,208
Oh, please, Jackie,
haven't you noticed
103
00:05:09,209 --> 00:05:11,710
That i've gotten
a lot better at this by now?
104
00:05:11,711 --> 00:05:14,913
I mean, d.J.'s neck
is a lot less bent than becky's.
105
00:05:14,914 --> 00:05:18,017
I love my sweetie.
Bye-bye.
106
00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:19,318
Okay, we want to go.
107
00:05:21,187 --> 00:05:22,388
Yeah, you better go,
108
00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:24,189
'cause we got a couple
of buyers coming over
109
00:05:24,190 --> 00:05:25,357
To look at him.
110
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:28,727
See you later.
111
00:05:28,728 --> 00:05:30,662
I got to get
to mom's.
112
00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:33,365
Well, don't you want
to play with the baby for a few minutes first?
113
00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:34,967
We're not gonna play
the last one
114
00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:36,702
That touches him
changes him, are we?
115
00:05:39,539 --> 00:05:41,173
No, the last time
we did that
116
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,442
You didn't touch
d.J. For two years.
117
00:05:46,813 --> 00:05:48,213
Mmm.
118
00:05:53,486 --> 00:05:55,054
Oh, this is nice.
119
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,124
God, Dan, when
I look at him,
120
00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:01,326
I think that
anything's possible.
121
00:06:01,327 --> 00:06:04,463
You know, he could be
president someday.
122
00:06:04,464 --> 00:06:07,533
Remember when we
used to have hopes for our own kids?
123
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:14,773
Kind of relaxed
there, huh? Yeah.
124
00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:16,608
Well, that's good.
125
00:06:16,609 --> 00:06:19,378
I don't want you to give
your mother any money.
126
00:06:21,848 --> 00:06:23,582
Roseanne, we've
been over this.
127
00:06:25,518 --> 00:06:27,086
Well, Dan, she's
just gonna do
128
00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:28,554
Something loopy
with it.
129
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:31,523
I mean, how many
Boxcar Willie albums
130
00:06:31,524 --> 00:06:33,559
Does someone with
no stereo need?
131
00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:36,729
She needs the money.
132
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,331
Well, I didn't know
that we don't need it, Dan.
133
00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:41,567
I must not have been home
the day that we got
134
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,235
Everything we need
out of life.
135
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,503
She was crying again.
136
00:06:44,504 --> 00:06:46,138
Well, of course
she was crying, Dan.
137
00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:47,272
She cries all the time.
138
00:06:47,273 --> 00:06:49,208
She cries when people
lose on star search.
139
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:52,611
This is different.
140
00:06:52,612 --> 00:06:54,680
Now, Dan, that 400 bucks
141
00:06:54,681 --> 00:06:57,983
Is supposed to put d.J.
Through medical school.
142
00:06:57,984 --> 00:06:59,718
Can't you get
your dad to pay it?
143
00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:02,488
My dad doesn't care about
my mom, so it's up to me.
144
00:07:02,489 --> 00:07:05,190
If he doesn't, of course
we'll help her out.
145
00:07:05,191 --> 00:07:07,793
I've always believed
in sticking by your family.
146
00:07:07,794 --> 00:07:09,862
But this is
a last resort.
147
00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:11,230
[baby crying]
148
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:13,499
Fine, i'll do it.
Take the baby back, he's wet.
149
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:14,767
No. You touched him last.
150
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,579
It's the nicest place
anyone's ever taken me.
151
00:07:27,580 --> 00:07:29,214
You deserve it.
152
00:07:29,215 --> 00:07:31,417
Anyone who gives birth to a
child of mine gets a free meal.
153
00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:34,086
Oh, wow.
154
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:37,790
I'm glad I had your
child then, 'cause, some of the guys i've dated...
155
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:40,626
I'd be lucky to get
a bowl of pretzels and a beer at the lobo.
156
00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:44,930
So you had a lot
of dates at the old lobo.
157
00:07:44,931 --> 00:07:46,732
Oh, boy, did I.
158
00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:50,736
Oh, look! They've got
dancing on fridays.
159
00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:52,237
Hey, that's nice.
160
00:07:52,238 --> 00:07:54,440
A lot of guys wouldn't
like to go dancing.
161
00:07:54,441 --> 00:07:56,308
Have a lot of guys
taken you dancing?
162
00:07:57,544 --> 00:07:59,511
Uh, yeah.
163
00:07:59,512 --> 00:08:03,315
Same guys who took you to the
lobo or a whole fresh batch?
164
00:08:05,552 --> 00:08:07,219
Are you trying
to ask me something?
165
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:08,487
No, no. Not really.
166
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,356
Well, Fred. Come on.
167
00:08:10,357 --> 00:08:11,824
You can ask me anything.
168
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:16,895
You've seen me in the most
embarrassing position imaginable.
169
00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:18,497
And you were there
when the baby was born.
170
00:08:22,902 --> 00:08:24,703
Well, okay.
[clears throat]
171
00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:26,972
How many men did
you date before we met?
172
00:08:26,973 --> 00:08:30,009
You mean, dated at all
or dated seriously?
173
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,744
I mean seriously.
174
00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:34,046
Okay. I'd have to say
just a few.
175
00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:37,316
Good. It's not that I mind
176
00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:38,784
If you slept
with a lot of guys.
177
00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:41,253
Well, slept with,
well...
178
00:08:45,992 --> 00:08:47,259
That's not
what you asked me.
179
00:08:48,661 --> 00:08:49,762
No, I guess it wasn't.
180
00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:53,932
Fred, don't worry.
It's not that many.
181
00:08:53,933 --> 00:08:56,435
I'd say...
182
00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:57,569
Three a year.
183
00:08:57,570 --> 00:09:00,072
Since you were, what, 18?
184
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:04,143
Okay, we'll go with that.
185
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:08,380
Oh.
186
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:10,282
Wow.
187
00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:13,218
Fred, that's not that many.
188
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:17,556
Three a year
for 20 years is 60. Wow.
189
00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:22,127
God.
190
00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:23,829
I don't even know 60 people.
191
00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:28,167
Well, I didn't
know all of them.
192
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:36,041
You men have such
a double standard.
193
00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:38,077
I'm sure you've slept
with a ton of women.
194
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:39,244
Three.
195
00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:42,381
Three?
196
00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:45,351
Three, huh?
197
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,455
Just the three?
198
00:09:50,557 --> 00:09:52,291
Yep. Just the three.
199
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:58,097
Does it bother you
that i've been...Active?
200
00:09:58,098 --> 00:10:00,399
Oh, look. Let's just
talk about something else.
201
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,302
No, i've got a better idea.
Let's not talk at all.
202
00:10:04,504 --> 00:10:06,005
Hi.
203
00:10:11,644 --> 00:10:13,278
No, I haven't had him.
204
00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:19,251
60?
205
00:10:19,252 --> 00:10:23,589
Why? Do you think that's a lot
of people to have slept with?
206
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:26,025
Well, yeah,
for an amateur.
207
00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:31,730
It sounded even worse when he
said he'd only been with three.
208
00:10:31,731 --> 00:10:35,467
Eww. Three?
209
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:36,735
That's what he said.
210
00:10:36,736 --> 00:10:38,470
Yeah, but, I mean, three?
211
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,439
That's just so low.
212
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:46,045
I men, he's 37
and he's single,
213
00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:48,480
And we both know
he's not that choosy.
214
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:52,418
I can't believe
how he reacted to it.
215
00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:54,586
So why are you
so surprised, Jackie?
216
00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:57,089
You think a guy wants to know
that the woman he's with
217
00:10:57,090 --> 00:11:01,026
Has slept with 20 times
more people than he has?
218
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:04,897
You should have lied.
219
00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:07,599
I would never lie.
220
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,536
Why not? I lied to Dan about
how many guys I was with.
221
00:11:10,537 --> 00:11:11,470
Really?
222
00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:12,971
Yeah.
223
00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:15,174
He said he was with,
like, seven women,
224
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:19,178
So I figured
that meant five.
225
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:22,448
And I was with six guys,
so I said three,
226
00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:24,550
You know, to make sure
to come in under his five.
227
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,054
And you think
that was good?
228
00:11:29,055 --> 00:11:30,689
I think that was brilliant.
229
00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:34,993
What's the big deal?
Why can't the man just accept
230
00:11:34,994 --> 00:11:37,930
That maybe the woman's had
more experience than him.
231
00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:40,899
Because then he knows
that she knows
232
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:42,267
That he's not very good.
233
00:11:42,268 --> 00:11:45,537
Fred's good.
He's perfectly good.
234
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:48,974
Especially considering
it's just the three.
235
00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:52,378
Perfectly good, huh?
236
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,146
Where have you been, Jackie?
237
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:56,248
Every man has
to think he's the best.
238
00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:59,451
Well, i'm not gonna lie to him
and I think in the long run,
239
00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:01,153
Fred would want me
to tell him the truth.
240
00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:04,556
No. Men want to hear
that they're strong
241
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,291
And handsome and smart.
242
00:12:06,292 --> 00:12:08,394
They do not like
to hear the truth.
243
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:09,728
Do you agree
with that, David?
244
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,296
Absolutely not.
245
00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:14,033
If Darlene ever lied to me,
I think i'd be really hurt.
246
00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:15,801
That isn't true, David.
247
00:12:15,802 --> 00:12:19,204
Remember how upset you got
when she told you that you had poodle hair?
248
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:29,214
She never said that to me.
249
00:12:31,518 --> 00:12:32,618
Oh.
250
00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:40,492
Maybe she was sparing
your feelings, but I guess
251
00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:42,861
You feel a lot better now
that you know the truth, huh?
252
00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:48,133
Yeah. I do.
I feel a lot better.
253
00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:52,871
What do you guys
think of my hair?
254
00:12:52,872 --> 00:12:55,174
We think it's great.
It looks just great.
255
00:12:55,175 --> 00:12:56,308
I think it's stunning.
256
00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:59,978
Roseanne, he asked
to know the truth.
257
00:12:59,979 --> 00:13:03,248
And David, the truth is that
your hair is a little odd.
258
00:13:08,988 --> 00:13:11,056
Thank you for being
so honest, Jackie.
259
00:13:12,859 --> 00:13:14,560
By the way, you know how
everyone is telling you
260
00:13:14,561 --> 00:13:16,662
You're as thin as you were
before you were pregnant?
261
00:13:21,735 --> 00:13:23,068
You're not.
262
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:37,583
[door bell buzzing]
263
00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:43,055
Dan! Oh, my goodness.
Come in. Come in.
264
00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:46,825
I suppose it's okay that
you see me in my personals.
265
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,227
We are family.
266
00:13:48,228 --> 00:13:49,762
Yeah. I keep forgetting that.
267
00:13:49,763 --> 00:13:51,697
Is that Danny Conner
268
00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:55,067
Stoppin' by at 9 a.M.?
That's me.
269
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:57,136
What do you need?
Morning google?
270
00:13:57,137 --> 00:14:00,606
[both chuckling]
271
00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:03,609
Want some breakfast? I got
pancakes hot off the griddle.
272
00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:05,110
No, thanks.
I just ate.
273
00:14:05,111 --> 00:14:06,745
This'll be dessert.
274
00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:09,682
I got some pure maple syrup
that I picked up when I came through vermont.
275
00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:14,987
You know, Dan,
it's really wonderful of you to stop by like this,
276
00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:16,755
It really does Ed good.
277
00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:19,058
There's nothin' I like
better than doin' Ed good.
278
00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:21,326
Oh, now, Dan.
I'm serious.
279
00:14:21,327 --> 00:14:25,764
Ed's always sayin'
that he wishes he could see you more often.
280
00:14:25,765 --> 00:14:27,933
Here you go, son.
Oh.
281
00:14:27,934 --> 00:14:29,435
Fall down on some of that.
282
00:14:29,436 --> 00:14:30,769
Thanks, dad.
283
00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:33,272
I'm sure you boys
have lots to talk about.
284
00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:35,274
Yeah, woman. Get back
in that kitchen.
285
00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:37,209
Your men are
getting hungry again.
286
00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:40,846
Mmm. Man!
287
00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:43,949
That's good syrup.
288
00:14:43,950 --> 00:14:46,151
You want a jug?
I got plenty.
289
00:14:46,152 --> 00:14:47,453
No thanks, dad.
290
00:14:57,464 --> 00:15:00,099
Look, I talked to mom today.
291
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:01,967
Yeah?
292
00:15:01,968 --> 00:15:03,035
How is she?
293
00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:08,574
She's fine.
294
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:12,544
She says you owe her
some money.
295
00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:16,148
Yeah, well...
296
00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:18,350
I talked to her, danny,
297
00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:20,219
And, uh...
298
00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:21,687
I'm gonna take care of it.
299
00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:24,990
Is that boy of your
still playing hockey? When, dad?
300
00:15:24,991 --> 00:15:26,191
I said i'd take care of it.
301
00:15:26,192 --> 00:15:27,893
Look, i'm going
over there tonight.
302
00:15:27,894 --> 00:15:30,329
I'm gonna give her
the $400 that you owe her.
303
00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:32,831
Are you gonna give me
the money or is it gonna come out of my pocket?
304
00:15:32,832 --> 00:15:37,736
Danny, i've already talked the
situation over with your mom.
305
00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:38,837
What situation?
306
00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:41,240
Well...
307
00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:44,376
It hasn't been
a really great year, okay?
308
00:15:44,377 --> 00:15:46,345
I've had a flat patch.
309
00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:50,349
The office doesn't want
to send me out so much anymore,
310
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:51,917
I got a new family here.
311
00:15:51,918 --> 00:15:54,687
Tough. You've got
old responsibilities.
312
00:15:54,688 --> 00:15:57,823
Danny, are you gonna
make a speech?
313
00:15:57,824 --> 00:16:00,592
Because if you are, I think
we oughta get more chairs,
314
00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:01,960
We'll call the neighbors--
315
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,362
I'm not gonna make a speech.
316
00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:05,731
What i'm gonna do is try to
remind you of your obligations!
317
00:16:05,732 --> 00:16:07,700
I shouldn't have to do that!
You're a grown man!
318
00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:09,268
Can you just calm down?
319
00:16:09,269 --> 00:16:11,070
Dad, she was cryin'
on the phone.
320
00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:12,004
Danny, that's her way.
321
00:16:12,005 --> 00:16:14,239
Not like this.
322
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:16,342
She was crying so hard
I couldn't understand her.
323
00:16:16,343 --> 00:16:19,378
Sometimes your mother
gets very emotional.
324
00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:22,247
And everything kind of gets
out of perspective, you know?
325
00:16:22,248 --> 00:16:25,584
I mean, Danny, women have a
tendency to do that, you know.
326
00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:28,687
Women have a tendency
to get upset when you treat 'em like crap.
327
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:31,557
You know your mother.
328
00:16:31,558 --> 00:16:34,360
This is not
about money, danny.
329
00:16:34,361 --> 00:16:38,597
Sometimes you're talking to her
and she's just not all there.
330
00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:42,301
Hey, hey. There's
nothing wrong with mom.
331
00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:44,303
I didn't say there was
anything wrong with her.
332
00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:45,571
Who said there was something
wrong with your mom?
333
00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:48,207
You know that
she's had it hard.
334
00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:49,908
I know that.
335
00:16:51,911 --> 00:16:53,812
This kind of stuff
is not good for her.
336
00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:56,548
Danny...
337
00:16:58,218 --> 00:17:00,619
If I could help her,
I would.
338
00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:07,359
Yeah, Roseanne said
you might be willing
339
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:10,229
To clean up your own mess,
but I told her she was wrong.
340
00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:11,730
Come on, Danny.
Don't.
341
00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:12,965
Don't leave mad.
342
00:17:12,966 --> 00:17:14,833
I'm not mad.
I'm not mad.
343
00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:16,168
One thing
about you, dad,
344
00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:18,070
You'll never
let me down.
345
00:17:27,313 --> 00:17:29,481
[knock on door]
346
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,187
Hey, Jackie.
Hello.
347
00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:38,223
Still mad, huh?
348
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:40,125
No, i'm not mad, Jim.
349
00:17:40,126 --> 00:17:41,226
Oh, i'm sorry. Fred.
350
00:17:42,962 --> 00:17:45,664
So many of you
I get confused.
351
00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:47,900
Listen, Jackie.
We need to discuss this.
352
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:50,769
What's to discuss?
I slept with 60 men.
353
00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:52,104
Most of them separately.
354
00:17:54,174 --> 00:17:57,009
I can vouch for that.
I was there that night sellin' tickets.
355
00:17:58,378 --> 00:18:00,179
Will you quit
giving me a hard time?
356
00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:02,414
I'm just trying
to accept this.
357
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:04,950
Fred, all the men
that I have slept with [baby crying]
358
00:18:04,951 --> 00:18:09,288
And all the things that
I have done in my past
359
00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:11,857
Have made me the person
that I am today.
360
00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:13,992
The person that you were
supposedly in love with.
361
00:18:13,993 --> 00:18:15,694
I know that,
but all i'm--
362
00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:17,496
Not nothing. We're
supposed to be adults.
363
00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:19,865
Right? And you know what
really ticks me off, Fred?
364
00:18:19,866 --> 00:18:22,134
Is that I was honest and you
didn't even appreciate it,
365
00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:23,369
And instead,
you're punishing me.
366
00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:25,804
Look. For god's
sake, Jackie,
367
00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:27,339
I'm not punishing you,
368
00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:30,242
I'm just trying to be
honest about how I feel about all of this.
369
00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:32,077
I think you're both
a couple of idiots.
370
00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:35,914
Sorry, I thought we
were being honest.
371
00:18:36,883 --> 00:18:39,118
Baby, what's the matter?
372
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:40,619
What do you mean,
"what's the matter?"
373
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:43,055
Can't you imagine
how scary this is to him?
374
00:18:43,056 --> 00:18:46,091
The big fuzzy thing is
yelling at the milk machine?
375
00:18:52,932 --> 00:18:54,667
You know, i'm through
discussing it, Fred.
376
00:18:54,668 --> 00:18:56,902
The next words I want
to hear out of your mouth are an apology.
377
00:18:56,903 --> 00:19:00,139
I'm not gonna apologize
for the way that I feel.
378
00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:02,341
Then I don't have
anything to say to you.
379
00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:04,810
Jackie.
Stay out of it, Roseanne.
380
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:06,478
I don't need
your kind of help.
381
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:10,616
I am trying to form an honest,
solid relationship here
382
00:19:10,617 --> 00:19:11,650
With the father of my child.
383
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,952
Get the hell
out of my way.
384
00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:19,491
Aw.
385
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,026
Am I nuts, Roseanne?
386
00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:22,394
Wouldn't this bother Dan?
387
00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:25,831
Not at all. Dan knows how
many men Jackie slept with.
388
00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:29,735
Come on, Roseanne.
389
00:19:29,736 --> 00:19:32,137
If Dan found out that you'd
slept with a lot of guys,
390
00:19:32,138 --> 00:19:33,339
He'd be upset.
391
00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:35,774
No, Fred. I really
don't think he would.
392
00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:38,977
Because we have known
each other a lot longer.
393
00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:42,614
And Dan knows he doesn't
have anything to worry about.
394
00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:44,650
Hey, I am not worried.
395
00:19:44,651 --> 00:19:46,852
This isn't about
me being insecure.
396
00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:48,020
No, of course not.
397
00:19:48,021 --> 00:19:50,289
Because you have
no reason to be insecure.
398
00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:51,924
Jackie's in love with you.
399
00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:54,827
I know.
400
00:19:54,828 --> 00:19:56,595
And she had your kid.
401
00:19:59,265 --> 00:20:01,033
And, uh...
402
00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:07,272
She also told me you're
the best lover she's ever had.
403
00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:14,146
No...
404
00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:20,919
Yeah, and that's
like, the best of 60.
405
00:20:22,122 --> 00:20:23,956
That is a lot of guys.
406
00:20:23,957 --> 00:20:27,359
Yeah, but that doesn't
make any difference to you, does it, Fred?
407
00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:28,894
Yeah, right.
408
00:20:31,264 --> 00:20:32,798
Forgot his binky.
409
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:36,535
Jackie, wait a minute.
410
00:20:36,536 --> 00:20:38,070
Roseanne, can you
give us a second?
411
00:20:38,071 --> 00:20:41,140
Yeah, sure. I know
you don't need my help.
412
00:20:41,141 --> 00:20:43,375
You're building an honest,
solid relationship.
413
00:20:45,779 --> 00:20:48,180
Jackie, i'm sorry.
I was wrong.
414
00:20:48,181 --> 00:20:49,915
So you're okay with this?
415
00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:52,618
Of course I am. I was
never that upset about it.
416
00:20:52,619 --> 00:20:54,887
You weren't?
No.
417
00:20:54,888 --> 00:20:56,955
How insecure
do you think I am?
418
00:20:56,956 --> 00:20:59,992
The most important
thing is, we were open and honest with each other.
419
00:20:59,993 --> 00:21:02,795
Fred, you're the best.
420
00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:05,397
Well, you don't
have to say it.
421
00:21:20,046 --> 00:21:22,081
Well, so you're back.
422
00:21:22,082 --> 00:21:26,285
You know, Crystal brought by
a whole case of maple syrup.
423
00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:28,187
Do you think you
could get $400 for it?
424
00:21:30,090 --> 00:21:31,957
Roseanne,
i'm kinda tired.
425
00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:33,959
What'd your mom do
when you gave her the money?
426
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:38,063
Did she do like she did
last time and wash each and every bill?
427
00:21:38,064 --> 00:21:41,900
I didn't give her
the money. I had to take her to the hospital.
428
00:21:42,969 --> 00:21:45,337
Oh, my god.
Is she okay?
429
00:21:45,338 --> 00:21:48,707
Yeah. I guess.
I don't know.
430
00:21:48,708 --> 00:21:51,176
Did she have an
accident or something?
431
00:21:51,177 --> 00:21:53,345
It's not that
kind of hospital.
432
00:21:55,115 --> 00:21:56,448
What are you talking about?
433
00:21:58,151 --> 00:22:00,686
When I got there, she was
sitting outside in the rain.
434
00:22:00,687 --> 00:22:03,088
I don't even think
she knew who I was.
435
00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:08,627
One of the doctors
thought she might be a danger to herself.
436
00:22:11,731 --> 00:22:14,466
Well, I mean,
is she gonna be okay?
437
00:22:14,467 --> 00:22:16,368
God, this is so weird.
438
00:22:16,369 --> 00:22:18,671
Did you have any idea
about this happening at all?
439
00:22:18,672 --> 00:22:20,105
I don't know.
440
00:22:23,009 --> 00:22:24,843
I don't know what to say.
441
00:22:26,246 --> 00:22:30,315
I'm okay.
Well, uh, did you get anything to eat?
442
00:22:30,316 --> 00:22:31,950
Did you have dinner?
Want me to make you something?
443
00:22:31,951 --> 00:22:33,819
No. No.
444
00:22:36,189 --> 00:22:40,359
My god, honey.
I'm so sorry.
445
00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:43,128
I'm just--
i'm gonna go to bed.
446
00:22:43,178 --> 00:22:47,728
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