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1
00:00:05,405 --> 00:00:06,739
All right,
Mrs. Conner,
2
00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:08,507
I finished moppin'
the bathroom.
3
00:00:08,508 --> 00:00:09,508
[sighs]
4
00:00:09,509 --> 00:00:10,809
Well, i'd check
your work,
5
00:00:10,810 --> 00:00:12,945
But I don't
feel like movin'.
6
00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:14,213
I'll tell you what.
7
00:00:14,214 --> 00:00:15,247
Why don't you
just clean
8
00:00:15,248 --> 00:00:19,551
From here to there.
9
00:00:19,552 --> 00:00:21,520
Where are you
pointing?
10
00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:23,489
The horizon.
11
00:00:25,558 --> 00:00:26,959
Come on,
Mrs. Conner.
12
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,360
Ever since you
caught me at Darlene's,
13
00:00:28,361 --> 00:00:29,762
You've been working me
like a dog.
14
00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:31,630
And the beauty of
being a working dog
15
00:00:31,631 --> 00:00:34,800
Is that you don't
get put to sleep.
16
00:00:34,801 --> 00:00:36,435
You know,
all this punishment
17
00:00:36,436 --> 00:00:37,903
Isn't teachin' me
a thing.
18
00:00:37,904 --> 00:00:39,271
Oh, really?
19
00:00:39,272 --> 00:00:41,173
Well, maybe you could
learn a lesson
20
00:00:41,174 --> 00:00:42,675
If I would tell
the big, strong,
21
00:00:42,676 --> 00:00:45,210
Fiercely protective
Mr. Conner
22
00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:47,379
That you were
shacking up
23
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:48,647
With his daughter.
24
00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:53,385
Hey.
25
00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:55,788
Hey, how's my
big, strong,
26
00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:58,691
Fiercely protective
husband?
27
00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:00,292
Exhausted.
28
00:01:00,293 --> 00:01:03,896
But you'd still
kill for me, right?
29
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:06,298
Yeah, sure.
Why not?
30
00:01:06,299 --> 00:01:08,067
Scrub brush.
31
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,234
I'll start here.
32
00:01:10,770 --> 00:01:12,338
David, this new
obsession of yours
33
00:01:12,339 --> 00:01:14,173
With housework
concerns me.
34
00:01:14,174 --> 00:01:16,141
Mrs. Conner's
always said
35
00:01:16,142 --> 00:01:20,045
That a clean house
is the devil's playground.
36
00:01:20,046 --> 00:01:21,647
Yes, that's true,
37
00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:24,116
But David feels,
and I must agree,
38
00:01:24,117 --> 00:01:26,318
That cleaning is the least
he can do for us
39
00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:27,720
After us taking him back
40
00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:29,588
After running away
to live with--
41
00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:30,889
My mom.
42
00:01:38,298 --> 00:01:40,733
I know you probably had
to do this kind of stuff
43
00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:41,967
To make your mom happy,
44
00:01:41,968 --> 00:01:43,869
But there's nobody
here to be scared of.
45
00:01:47,307 --> 00:01:48,941
Take the rest
of the day off.
46
00:01:50,343 --> 00:01:51,910
Hmm.
47
00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:56,115
David!
48
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,183
When you clean out
the refrigerator,
49
00:01:58,184 --> 00:02:00,519
Don't throw away
the moldy buns.
50
00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:03,455
D.J. Thinks
it's chia bread.
51
00:02:07,427 --> 00:02:08,694
You heard Mr. Conner.
52
00:02:08,695 --> 00:02:10,796
He said take the rest
of the day off.
53
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:12,965
Well, isn't that funny?
54
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:14,500
I thought he said,
55
00:02:14,501 --> 00:02:16,635
"if anybody has
been messing around
56
00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:17,870
"with my daughter,
57
00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:21,006
I'm going to crush him
like a beer can."
58
00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:25,911
David, i'm done
with this page.
59
00:02:36,056 --> 00:02:37,990
[theme]
60
00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:45,591
[laughs]
61
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:55,134
Hey, David,
remember in Chicago
62
00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:57,302
When I caught you
in Darlene's bathroom?
63
00:03:57,303 --> 00:03:58,837
Yeah.
64
00:03:58,838 --> 00:04:00,639
Remember how you
gave me that money
65
00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:03,142
So I wouldn't
tell anyone?
66
00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:04,243
Yeah.
67
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,844
I want more.
68
00:04:08,114 --> 00:04:09,682
I haven't got
any more.
69
00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:11,750
Well, you better
get more quick,
70
00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:14,253
Or i'll tell dad.
71
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,955
D.J., do you know
what you're doing?
72
00:04:16,956 --> 00:04:18,457
You're--you're
blackmailing me.
73
00:04:18,458 --> 00:04:19,658
That's not nice.
74
00:04:19,659 --> 00:04:21,026
So?
75
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:23,696
All right, look.
76
00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:25,230
If you tell
your dad about me,
77
00:04:25,231 --> 00:04:26,665
I'll tell your mom
that you knew
78
00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:28,734
About Darlene and me
since christmas and didn't tell her.
79
00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:31,970
Go ahead.
I don't care.
80
00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:35,140
Mrs. Conner.
81
00:04:35,141 --> 00:04:36,308
I care, I care!
82
00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:38,811
Yes, David?
83
00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:43,415
Uh...Is this shiny
enough to blind you?
84
00:04:46,986 --> 00:04:48,320
It'll do.
85
00:04:48,321 --> 00:04:50,289
But, gee, the carpet
looks old.
86
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,458
Make it look
new again.
87
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:53,726
I don't think--
88
00:04:53,727 --> 00:04:55,761
Oh, don't tell me
how you're gonna do it.
89
00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:57,229
Just surprise me.
90
00:04:58,631 --> 00:04:59,765
Hey, Becky.
91
00:04:59,766 --> 00:05:01,734
Uh, tell Mark thanks
92
00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:03,869
For fixin'
that blender for me.
93
00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:06,472
Boy, I should've
known that he'd know right what to do,
94
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:09,608
You know, since
it's like a miniature truck motor.
95
00:05:09,609 --> 00:05:12,244
Oh, well, it was
no problem for him,
96
00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:14,813
Seeing as he's a really,
really good mechanic.
97
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:15,881
Right, dad?
98
00:05:15,882 --> 00:05:18,650
Yeah, the list goes
me, Mark, Goober Pyle.
99
00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:22,287
Well, i'm glad
to hear that,
100
00:05:22,288 --> 00:05:24,890
'cause mom said you
have an opening down at the garage
101
00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:27,826
And that Mark
could probably get it. Is that true?
102
00:05:29,562 --> 00:05:31,397
Why did you
tell her that?
103
00:05:31,398 --> 00:05:33,966
Well, we were just...
You know...Sittin' around
104
00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:37,569
Talkin' about trucks
and garages. You know, girl talk, and...
105
00:05:37,570 --> 00:05:39,138
It just came up.
106
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:40,906
Is it true?
107
00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:42,908
It's true.
108
00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:45,110
Except for the part
about Mark gettin' the job.
109
00:05:45,111 --> 00:05:46,545
Sorry, no.
110
00:05:46,546 --> 00:05:48,647
Well, why not, Dan?
You used to work with him.
111
00:05:48,648 --> 00:05:50,215
You think he's
a good mechanic.
112
00:05:50,216 --> 00:05:52,785
Look, most guys work
for the city a year
113
00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:54,787
Before they start hirin'
all their relatives.
114
00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:56,889
It won't look right
if I jump the gun.
115
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:59,224
Oh, fine. Then
we'll never have any money
116
00:05:59,225 --> 00:06:00,559
And we'll just
live here forever!
117
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:03,362
You can put away
your own damn groceries, dad!
118
00:06:05,765 --> 00:06:08,300
Thanks for turnin'
my daughter against me, Roseanne.
119
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:09,968
Well, actually,
I had you all set up
120
00:06:09,969 --> 00:06:12,438
To be the big hero,
but you had to spoil it
121
00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:14,073
With that "no" business.
122
00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:16,442
It would've been
nice of you to run this little idea
123
00:06:16,443 --> 00:06:18,577
By me before tellin' it
to Mark and Becky.
124
00:06:18,578 --> 00:06:21,680
Dan, have you never heard
of the element of surprise?
125
00:06:21,681 --> 00:06:23,649
From now on,
I want to know
126
00:06:23,650 --> 00:06:24,850
What's goin' on
in this house
127
00:06:24,851 --> 00:06:26,518
Before it blows up
in my face.
128
00:06:26,519 --> 00:06:28,354
No more secrets.
Understood?
129
00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:31,390
Mrs. Conner,
i'm gonna attack that mildew problem now.
130
00:06:37,630 --> 00:06:40,132
Well, David,
Mr. Conner says
131
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:43,235
That we are not to have
any more secrets in this house.
132
00:06:44,971 --> 00:06:46,105
Really.
133
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,108
I'm afraid so.
134
00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:50,509
Dan...
135
00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:53,645
[inhales deeply,
exhales]
136
00:06:53,646 --> 00:06:55,414
...We have
a mildew problem.
137
00:07:02,989 --> 00:07:04,823
Is Jackie around?
138
00:07:04,824 --> 00:07:06,492
Yeah. She must be
out in the back.
139
00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:07,760
You got the goods?
140
00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:16,835
I'm sick of havi''
to trick Jackie like this.
141
00:07:16,836 --> 00:07:18,570
I shouldn't have to
support my baby
142
00:07:18,571 --> 00:07:20,439
By sneakin' money
into a tip jar.
143
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,976
Well, I told you
if you write a check, she's gonna catch on.
144
00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:24,910
Hey, Jackie!
145
00:07:24,911 --> 00:07:26,011
Fred.
146
00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:27,513
How you feeli''
today?
147
00:07:27,514 --> 00:07:28,914
Lovely...Fred.
148
00:07:28,915 --> 00:07:30,949
If I could do
a backbend, i'd be a camel.
149
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:38,190
Wow! Look
at all my tips!
150
00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:40,659
Um...No, those
are jackie's tips.
151
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:43,629
No, they're not.
She got nauseous, and I took over her table.
152
00:07:45,031 --> 00:07:47,900
I knew this pushup bra
would bring in the extra dough.
153
00:07:50,036 --> 00:07:52,438
No. This guy
came in yesterday
154
00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:56,308
And says he forgot
to tip the waitress with the real breasts.
155
00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:02,314
So $15 of that
is jackie's.
156
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:04,316
[clears throat]
20! [coughs]
157
00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:07,386
Remember, Nancy?
158
00:08:08,455 --> 00:08:09,855
Oh...Right!
159
00:08:09,856 --> 00:08:12,725
That guy
from yesterday. Okay.
160
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:15,027
Oh, you--oh, the man
with the glasses
161
00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:16,362
Who kept drinkin' coffee.
162
00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:19,365
Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He really liked you.
163
00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:20,766
There was no man.
164
00:08:22,402 --> 00:08:24,236
Where's this money
comin' from?
165
00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:26,138
You don't have
any money.
166
00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:28,173
And you don't know
what's goin' on.
167
00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:32,478
Damn it, Fred.
168
00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:34,747
Well, you wouldn't
take any money directly from me,
169
00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:37,016
So roseanne's
been putting it in the tip jar.
170
00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:40,753
Well, not
all of it. I took some.
171
00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:41,687
I mean...
172
00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:46,091
You have your
pride, Jackie.
173
00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:49,094
Well, Fred,
it's not your baby. It's mine.
174
00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:51,964
What makes you think
you have any say in how I raise my child?
175
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:54,299
I just want
to be involved with this baby.
176
00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:55,834
Why can't you
let me help?
177
00:08:55,835 --> 00:08:58,237
You want to help?
Quit pressuring me.
178
00:08:58,238 --> 00:09:00,506
Quit tryin' to butt in.
Just leave me the hell alone.
179
00:09:00,507 --> 00:09:03,509
God, Jackie.
Well, how many times do I have to tell him?!
180
00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:06,211
I think that'll
be the last.
181
00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:10,949
[door bangs]
182
00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:13,285
Well, that
was really stupid.
183
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:15,387
No, it wasn't. As far
as i'm concerned,
184
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:19,291
Kids grow up fine
as long as they have one decent parent.
185
00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:21,527
Oh, man.
Would you please
186
00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:24,363
Stop quoting
that Murphy Brown?
187
00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:37,609
I wanna go over
to Easy Miller's house.
188
00:09:37,610 --> 00:09:39,345
No, not till
you clean your room.
189
00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:41,146
Well, you wouldn't
want me to tell dad
190
00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:43,749
About what's goin' on
around here, would you?
191
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:48,987
Oh, no, D.J.
192
00:09:48,988 --> 00:09:50,989
Now that you have
all this information,
193
00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:54,660
You have all the power
and I have nothing.
194
00:09:54,661 --> 00:09:58,330
I guess you'll be ruling
the roost around here from now on.
195
00:09:58,331 --> 00:10:00,265
Whatever will I do?
196
00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:04,269
All right,
i'll clean my room!
197
00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:09,842
Hey, Rosie.
Hey, David!
198
00:10:09,843 --> 00:10:11,877
How's my favorite
almost son? Mmhh.
199
00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:16,348
I can't take this.
200
00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:18,684
Oh, what,
he barely touched you.
201
00:10:18,685 --> 00:10:20,686
I gotta tell him.
Mrs. Conner,
202
00:10:20,687 --> 00:10:23,622
We all live our lives
by certain rules, and I like to believe
203
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:26,158
That nothing bad
can happen to me as long as I tell the truth.
204
00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:29,361
Oh, my god.
How did your mother raise you?
205
00:10:30,597 --> 00:10:31,697
David!
206
00:10:31,698 --> 00:10:33,032
Hey, Mr. Conner.
207
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:34,466
David,
can't you see Mr. Conner
208
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,368
Is busy watchi''
the news?
209
00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:38,103
Can I talk
to you?
210
00:10:38,104 --> 00:10:39,805
Just a sec.
211
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:47,279
David, um,
that's our best china soaking in there,
212
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:48,881
And if it soaks
too long,
213
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:50,916
The pattern
will come off.
214
00:10:50,917 --> 00:10:53,886
I'm sorry, Mrs. Conner.
I have to do this.
215
00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:56,388
Mr. Conner,
you don't know this, but I was in Chicago.
216
00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:58,957
Oh...[coughs]
and he went to a cubs game,
217
00:10:58,958 --> 00:11:01,226
And it was
the most boring story i've ever heard.
218
00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:03,395
Blah, blah,
blah, blah. Go do the dishes, David.
219
00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:04,263
No.
220
00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:08,067
[turns off tv]
221
00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:09,368
Mr. Conner,
when I was gone,
222
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:11,403
I wasn't living
with my mom.
223
00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:13,072
I was livin'
with Darlene.
224
00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:15,874
It was a stupid thing
to do, and i'm sorry.
225
00:11:18,745 --> 00:11:19,845
Very sorry.
226
00:11:22,582 --> 00:11:24,783
Oh, god,
i'm sorry.
227
00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:28,253
You lyin'
little bastard!
228
00:11:28,254 --> 00:11:31,056
You got 20 minutes
to pack up your crap and get outta my house.
229
00:11:31,057 --> 00:11:33,092
Mrs. Conner will drive you
to the bus station.
230
00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:34,493
I don't want
to look at you.
231
00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:44,336
God! You believe
this, Roseanne?!
232
00:11:44,337 --> 00:11:47,539
No. I was stunned
when I first heard.
233
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,141
What do you mean,
when you first heard?
234
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:51,777
You know...
Just...Now.
235
00:11:51,778 --> 00:11:55,481
And, uh...Oh, man,
now i'm kind of in shock.
236
00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:59,051
You take a kid
into your house, and this is how he pays you back?
237
00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:03,622
I bet I know why he's been
doin' all those chores around here.
238
00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:05,224
He's got
a guilty conscience.
239
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:09,762
I never want to see
the kid again.
240
00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:10,729
Damn!
241
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:16,568
Great. He wrecks the place
right after he fires my maid.
242
00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:28,814
Anybody home?
243
00:12:28,815 --> 00:12:30,416
I'm in the nursery.
244
00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:36,188
Hi, Jackie.
You want any help with that crib?
245
00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:38,757
Oh, yeah, right,
like, you came all the way down here
246
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:41,927
To talk about this crib.
This is so obvious.
247
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:44,329
Crib, baby, Fred.
248
00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:45,964
You wanna talk about Fred.
249
00:12:45,965 --> 00:12:48,667
No, I don't want
to talk about Fred.
250
00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:50,336
See? There. You just
brought him up again.
251
00:12:50,337 --> 00:12:53,038
Well, what can I say?
I'm obsessed.
252
00:12:53,039 --> 00:12:55,541
Look, I don't feel bad
about what happened.
253
00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:58,877
It's better now. He
knows where he stands, and that's that.
254
00:12:58,878 --> 00:13:01,413
You know, I got
bigger problems to talk to you about
255
00:13:01,414 --> 00:13:04,249
Than whether or not
you made Fred cry.
256
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:06,318
I made Fred cry?
257
00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:09,021
Let's not talk
about him!
258
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:10,889
Fred is a grownup.
He can take care of himself.
259
00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:15,327
He's not some teenager
like poor David.
260
00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:17,196
Why? What happened to David?
261
00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:20,099
Dan found out he was
livin' with Darlene in chicago,
262
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:21,333
And he kicked him
outta the house.
263
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:23,469
Oh, my god.
Where is he now?
264
00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:26,538
I don't know.
He could be anywhere...
265
00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:28,240
Livin' on the street...
266
00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:29,975
Eatin' out
of a dumpster.
267
00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:32,811
Standing in your hall.
268
00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:36,548
Roseanne, no.
Please.
269
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:39,718
He cannot stay here.
I can't deal with that now.
270
00:13:39,719 --> 00:13:41,720
Please. Just
tell David i'm sorry.
271
00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:44,123
I can't do that,
Jackie. It'll just crush him.
272
00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:45,991
You tell him. David!
273
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,595
Hey, Jackie.
274
00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:51,163
[sweetly]
hi, David.
275
00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:54,600
You don't want me
to stay, huh?
276
00:13:54,601 --> 00:13:56,535
It's not that
I don't want you living here, David,
277
00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:58,804
Because I do.
It's just that i'm not even allowed
278
00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:01,273
To have a cat here,
let alone a boy.
279
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:04,410
Jackie, you own
this house.
280
00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:08,380
I know that.
These are my rules.
281
00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:12,584
Hey, look,
it's all right.
282
00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:14,720
Look, Mrs. Conner,
I really think I should just...
283
00:14:14,721 --> 00:14:16,855
Get on a bus
back to my mom's.
284
00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:27,599
Oh...God. How would he--
how long would he have to stay?
285
00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:29,935
Not too long at all.
286
00:14:29,936 --> 00:14:31,537
I think it'll only
take me a couple of days
287
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:34,540
To make, you know,
Dan feel guilty enough to take him back.
288
00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:37,209
Two years
at the most.
289
00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:41,380
We're just pretending
like I have a choice here, right?
290
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,215
Right.
291
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,951
All right, David,
get your stuff. You can sleep here.
292
00:14:45,952 --> 00:14:48,120
[sighs
exasperatedly]
293
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:50,622
I knew it.
I knew it.
294
00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:52,991
I knew that
if I brought him over here
295
00:14:52,992 --> 00:14:54,993
And you saw his little
puppy-dog face
296
00:14:54,994 --> 00:14:56,261
That you could not
turn him away.
297
00:14:56,262 --> 00:14:58,797
Well, I guess you
know me pretty well.
298
00:14:58,798 --> 00:15:00,899
Got another
surprise for you.
299
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,401
Fred, come here!
300
00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:06,572
made you look,
made you look
301
00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:17,249
I finished puttin'
the crib together.
302
00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:22,087
So, uh...I'll get started
on this drawer tomorrow.
303
00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:26,592
So...Good night.
304
00:15:27,994 --> 00:15:29,661
David.
305
00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:31,930
Do you think of me
as a mean person?
306
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:35,668
You? No. No way.
307
00:15:35,669 --> 00:15:37,469
I mean, you're
letting me stay here and everything.
308
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:39,872
I think
you're really nice.
309
00:15:39,873 --> 00:15:42,341
Well, you're wrong.
310
00:15:42,342 --> 00:15:45,678
I'm a horrible,
horrible woman.
311
00:15:45,679 --> 00:15:46,612
The worst.
312
00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:49,948
I don't even think
I have a heart.
313
00:15:51,017 --> 00:15:52,184
I'm like
the tin man,
314
00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:53,952
All hollow inside.
315
00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:57,923
See, I--i'm not
sure what to say.
316
00:15:57,924 --> 00:15:59,858
Usually when Darlene
says somethin' like that,
317
00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:00,959
It's a trick.
318
00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:06,832
It's been three days,
David.
319
00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:08,967
Fred hasn't
come by the diner. He hasn't called.
320
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,670
I wanted him gone,
but not like this.
321
00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:14,573
He's probably sitting
at home crying still.
322
00:16:14,574 --> 00:16:17,776
No. No. It's
different for guys.
323
00:16:17,777 --> 00:16:20,079
I mean, Darlene
used to say
324
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,547
Mean stuff to me
all the time,
325
00:16:21,548 --> 00:16:23,749
And I never
took it personally or anything.
326
00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:24,883
Really?
327
00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:26,719
Yeah. And now
that we broke up,
328
00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:29,088
It's a good thing.
You know?
329
00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:30,389
I mean, i'm--
i'm even starting
330
00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:31,824
To think about
seeing other people.
331
00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:34,193
You are?
332
00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:35,227
Yeah.
333
00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:36,328
In fact, i've got
334
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:37,629
A couple of girls
lined up already.
335
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:41,633
Oh. Well...
[laughs]
336
00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:42,835
[unconvinced]
that's good.
337
00:16:45,405 --> 00:16:48,073
That makes me feel
a lot better.
338
00:16:48,074 --> 00:16:50,943
Yeah, i'm doin'
much better now.
339
00:16:50,944 --> 00:16:52,644
Here you're starting
to see other people,
340
00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:55,447
And...Fred's
a swinging single,
341
00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:58,784
And...Look at me.
I'm just a wall...
342
00:16:58,785 --> 00:17:02,187
[chuckles]
a wall of baby.
343
00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:03,756
Who could love this?
344
00:17:03,757 --> 00:17:05,791
Oh, come on.
Lots of people.
345
00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:07,593
Yeah. Right.
346
00:17:07,594 --> 00:17:10,529
I mean, sure, you're--
you're big and all, but...
347
00:17:14,768 --> 00:17:16,935
...That doesn't mean
you're not still great to be around
348
00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:19,038
And really funny
and just beautiful. Oh...
349
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:21,607
[sighs]
350
00:17:21,608 --> 00:17:23,108
You mean that?
351
00:17:23,109 --> 00:17:25,544
I do. Honest.
Oh, David.
352
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:26,745
[sniffles]
353
00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:27,846
Look at you.
354
00:17:27,847 --> 00:17:30,115
You...Broke up
with your girlfriend
355
00:17:30,116 --> 00:17:31,383
And Dan kicked you
outta the house,
356
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:34,286
And you're tryin'
to cheer me up.
357
00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:36,388
[sniffles]
you're really special.
358
00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:42,061
I don't think
we should be doin' this.
359
00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:51,503
What?
360
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:53,572
I mean, don't...
Get me wrong.
361
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,341
It--it's not that
i'm not attracted to you.
362
00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:59,478
I--I am. But...
I'm still really confused about Darlene,
363
00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:01,580
And I think
it would just kinda be a mistake
364
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:03,349
If we...You know?
365
00:18:04,984 --> 00:18:06,085
What?!
366
00:18:07,987 --> 00:18:09,121
Oh, god.
367
00:18:09,122 --> 00:18:10,489
You and me?
368
00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:12,758
[laughing]
are you serious, David?
369
00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:16,495
You're just
a little child!
370
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:18,831
[laughs]
371
00:18:18,832 --> 00:18:20,466
Oh, god, that hurts.
372
00:18:22,836 --> 00:18:26,372
[laughing]
oh, David, thank you.
373
00:18:26,373 --> 00:18:28,273
Thank you.
You really know how
374
00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:30,609
To pick a girl up
out of the doldrums.
375
00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:35,948
I thought
you'd like that.
376
00:18:51,865 --> 00:18:53,666
Sorry i'm late.
I stopped at the market
377
00:18:53,667 --> 00:18:54,867
To pick up
some groceries.
378
00:18:54,868 --> 00:18:57,536
Got ice cream,
cookies, candy.
379
00:18:57,537 --> 00:18:58,971
Dan, did it
ever occur to you
380
00:18:58,972 --> 00:19:02,875
That we shop like our parents
are gone for the weekend?
381
00:19:05,545 --> 00:19:08,547
Well...I still haven't
heard a thing from David.
382
00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:10,816
Jeez, tell a guy
to get the hell out and never come back,
383
00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:13,052
And this is
how he treats ya.
384
00:19:13,053 --> 00:19:14,720
Well, I know you did
the right thing, Dan.
385
00:19:14,721 --> 00:19:16,922
I'm just glad that you
were the one that made the decision.
386
00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:18,624
I--I just never
could live with myself
387
00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:21,493
After I heard the stuff
his mom says to him.
388
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:23,495
Roseanne,
we had no choice.
389
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:26,432
Yeah, I know that.
I'm just sayin' I couldn't have done it.
390
00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:28,600
He's a big kid. He can
take care of himself.
391
00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:30,336
Now, I don't want to hear
another word about it.
392
00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:33,605
Fine. I--I won't
bring him up again.
393
00:19:36,076 --> 00:19:36,975
David!
394
00:19:36,976 --> 00:19:38,510
I mean, dinner!
395
00:19:41,715 --> 00:19:42,781
Need any help, mom?
396
00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:44,049
Oh, no.
Let me do it.
397
00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:45,551
You've been serving
people all day.
398
00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:48,487
I've only
been doin' it for 25 years.
399
00:19:55,095 --> 00:19:56,695
Gee, I miss David.
400
00:19:58,765 --> 00:20:01,900
Well, D. J.,
your father and I have made a decision, now,
401
00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:03,369
And we are gonna
stick with it.
402
00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:05,671
David did a very bad thing,
403
00:20:05,672 --> 00:20:07,706
And we do not
need anybody
404
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:12,011
Second-guessing
the extreme severity of his punishment.
405
00:20:12,012 --> 00:20:14,113
If I do something
really bad,
406
00:20:14,114 --> 00:20:16,382
Does that mean you'll
get rid of me, too?
407
00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:24,556
D.J., is that the message
we're sending you?
408
00:20:29,963 --> 00:20:30,963
What's the matter?
409
00:20:30,964 --> 00:20:32,131
I don't know.
410
00:20:32,132 --> 00:20:34,066
I just don't
feel like eatin'.
411
00:20:35,969 --> 00:20:36,969
[clicks tongue]
412
00:20:36,970 --> 00:20:38,003
Uh, Dan,
413
00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:39,238
Don't tell me
414
00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:40,639
You're startin'
to feel guilty.
415
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,108
No, Roseanne, i'm not.
I'm just not hungry. Okay?
416
00:20:43,109 --> 00:20:45,077
Well, god, Dan, don't
be so defensive!
417
00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:47,179
I said, "if you're
feelin' guilty,"
418
00:20:47,180 --> 00:20:50,249
Then there is
still time to do somethin' about it!
419
00:20:53,153 --> 00:20:54,820
Yeah, you're right.
420
00:20:54,821 --> 00:20:57,589
Of course i'm right,
Dan. Don't you know who I am?
421
00:21:01,161 --> 00:21:02,327
Mark, if you're
still interested
422
00:21:02,328 --> 00:21:03,962
In that job
at the garage, it's yours.
423
00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:06,298
What?
Are you--are you serious, Dan?
424
00:21:06,299 --> 00:21:07,566
Yeah. I figure
it'll be okay
425
00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:09,168
As long as you don't ask
for any special favors.
426
00:21:09,169 --> 00:21:10,536
You start tomorrow.
427
00:21:10,537 --> 00:21:13,839
[sighs] come in
about noon, 1:00,
428
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:15,774
Whenever you
feel like it.
429
00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:16,775
Thanks, dad!
430
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,844
[sighs] hey.
[chuckles]
431
00:21:18,845 --> 00:21:20,446
Feel better
already.
432
00:21:20,447 --> 00:21:22,481
Well, the guilt thing
really worked.
433
00:21:22,482 --> 00:21:23,649
Thanks, Mrs. Conner.
434
00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:25,117
Yeah, I really know
435
00:21:25,118 --> 00:21:28,220
How to make things
happen around here.
436
00:21:28,221 --> 00:21:32,191
Every time I look
at david's empty chair, feels like our whole--
437
00:21:32,192 --> 00:21:33,392
Ahh, can it.
438
00:22:04,891 --> 00:22:06,492
Ms. Harris,
what are you doin'?
439
00:22:18,405 --> 00:22:19,838
Have you got a light?
440
00:22:22,742 --> 00:22:23,676
No. [chuckles]
441
00:22:25,245 --> 00:22:27,713
David, what
do you think of me?
442
00:22:27,714 --> 00:22:29,782
What do you mean?
443
00:22:29,783 --> 00:22:31,583
Well, you've known me
for quite a few years now.
444
00:22:31,584 --> 00:22:34,353
You must've formed...
Some opinion of me.
445
00:22:35,488 --> 00:22:37,489
Well...I think
446
00:22:37,490 --> 00:22:39,358
You're a very...
Nice person.
447
00:22:41,528 --> 00:22:43,529
Do you find me
desirable?
448
00:22:45,932 --> 00:22:48,734
Sure. I think you're
the most attractive
449
00:22:48,735 --> 00:22:50,202
Of all darlene's aunts.
450
00:22:52,939 --> 00:22:54,373
What are you drinking?
Bourbon?
451
00:22:57,277 --> 00:22:59,244
Ms. Harris, you're
tryin' to seduce me.
452
00:22:59,245 --> 00:23:01,547
[laughs]
453
00:23:05,185 --> 00:23:06,118
Aren't you?
454
00:23:07,454 --> 00:23:10,122
God. David, we've
been through this before!
455
00:23:10,123 --> 00:23:12,358
You're just a child!
456
00:23:12,408 --> 00:23:16,958
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