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1
00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:08,707
Ugh, General Hospital?
2
00:00:08,708 --> 00:00:10,109
Why are you
wasting your time
3
00:00:10,110 --> 00:00:11,110
Watching this trash?
4
00:00:11,111 --> 00:00:12,478
Guiding light is on.
5
00:00:12,479 --> 00:00:14,847
Because i'm a little
concerned
6
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:17,116
About what they're doing
with Jason's character.
7
00:00:17,117 --> 00:00:18,484
It's halfway
through the show
8
00:00:18,485 --> 00:00:20,319
And he still has
his shirt on.
9
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:22,354
Don't worry, he's going
down to the waterfront.
10
00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:24,256
Brenda's gonna be
down there crying.
11
00:00:24,257 --> 00:00:25,591
It's coming off.
12
00:00:27,293 --> 00:00:28,927
Excuse me, could
I get some sugar?
13
00:00:34,067 --> 00:00:35,634
Roseanne!
14
00:00:35,635 --> 00:00:38,203
Should I just rip off
the shirt of every customer
15
00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:39,805
So that they can
get your attention?
16
00:00:39,806 --> 00:00:41,407
Not these customers.
17
00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:43,542
No, no, no, no!
No, no, no, no.
18
00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:46,011
We don't charge
Mr. Mehlman
19
00:00:46,012 --> 00:00:48,213
Of Mehlman
restaurant supplies.
20
00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:49,882
He's our special
friend.
21
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,116
[chuckles]
22
00:00:51,117 --> 00:00:53,118
Oh, a special
friend, huh?
23
00:00:54,954 --> 00:00:57,222
Well, the food
is on the house.
24
00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:58,624
If you're sleeping
with Leon,
25
00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:00,559
It's a miracle
you can eat at all.
26
00:01:02,195 --> 00:01:04,463
She thinks
she's funny.
27
00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:06,098
You know, i'd
let the girl go
28
00:01:06,099 --> 00:01:08,767
Except she scares
away robbers.
29
00:01:08,768 --> 00:01:11,070
You know, I got a gal
like that who works for me.
30
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,438
Gives me nothing
but trouble.
31
00:01:12,439 --> 00:01:14,773
I'd fire her,
but she's my wife!
32
00:01:17,844 --> 00:01:18,977
Oh, my.
33
00:01:18,978 --> 00:01:20,579
Give Maureen
my love.
34
00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:22,448
Well, I got to get
back to the office,
35
00:01:22,449 --> 00:01:25,284
Find out if my employees
are working hard.
36
00:01:25,285 --> 00:01:26,585
Or hardly working.
37
00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:28,287
Ha ha ha!
38
00:01:28,288 --> 00:01:30,189
You know, I hear
he's considered
39
00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:32,524
A comic genius
in France.
40
00:01:34,294 --> 00:01:36,428
Roseanne, let me give you
a little business lesson.
41
00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:39,498
That gentleman you
were just so rude to
42
00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:45,371
I invited him here.
43
00:01:45,372 --> 00:01:47,439
I made friends with him.
44
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,174
And now we are getting
45
00:01:49,175 --> 00:01:51,443
A deep fat fryer
for cost.
46
00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:53,078
Well, that is great
47
00:01:53,079 --> 00:01:54,713
'cause i'd hate
to hold your face
48
00:01:54,714 --> 00:01:58,250
In a deep fat fryer
we paid full price for.
49
00:01:58,251 --> 00:02:01,153
It's called networking,
Roseanne.
50
00:02:01,154 --> 00:02:03,455
And that is why I
have been after Jackie
51
00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:06,291
To join the Lanford
womens association.
52
00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:08,560
So we can get more
things at a discount.
53
00:02:08,561 --> 00:02:10,863
In fact, Nancy...
54
00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:12,998
Why don't you join?
55
00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:14,166
You've been asking
56
00:02:14,167 --> 00:02:15,768
For more responsibility
around here.
57
00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:18,170
I just meant
I wanted a key.
58
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:25,878
So, hey, hold on a second.
What about me, you know?
59
00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:28,347
I can join some group
of stupid, snobby,
60
00:02:28,348 --> 00:02:30,849
Stuck-up broads
and make friends.
61
00:02:30,850 --> 00:02:34,119
Oh, Roseanne,
how can I say this
62
00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:37,189
So that I don't
hurt your feelings?
63
00:02:37,190 --> 00:02:41,226
You're a horrible woman
and nobody likes you.
64
00:02:44,264 --> 00:02:47,566
Well, be that as it may,
i'm still gonna join,
65
00:02:47,567 --> 00:02:50,302
And i'll get us a lot
of free stuff too.
66
00:02:50,303 --> 00:02:52,271
No, face it Roseanne,
you just don't have
67
00:02:52,272 --> 00:02:55,040
The skills that it takes
to represent this business.
68
00:02:55,041 --> 00:02:56,942
Oh, now, Leon,
I may not have
69
00:02:56,943 --> 00:02:59,812
Your vast wealth
of business experience,
70
00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:02,748
Nor your great willingness
to kiss butt,
71
00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:04,483
But I do have
something else.
72
00:03:04,484 --> 00:03:06,552
Really? And what
might that be?
73
00:03:06,553 --> 00:03:08,554
Your nipple.
Ow!
74
00:03:08,555 --> 00:03:10,489
[theme]
75
00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:32,104
Okay, so what do you
think of these earrings?
76
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,106
Oh, yeah,
that's much better!
77
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,508
These are the exact
same ones I had on before.
78
00:04:36,509 --> 00:04:38,610
See, you're not paying
any attention at all.
79
00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:39,745
I am too!
80
00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:43,248
Holy cow, what are you
so dressed up for?
81
00:04:43,249 --> 00:04:45,651
'cause I have to go
impress these businesswomen
82
00:04:45,652 --> 00:04:47,786
So I can use 'em
for contacts.
83
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:50,923
Then later I can go back
to chewing tobacky
84
00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:54,126
And rolling up my hair
in soup cans.
85
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,661
Hey.
86
00:04:55,662 --> 00:04:58,297
So did you make
many tips tonight,
87
00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,698
Or won't you know
'til you
88
00:04:59,699 --> 00:05:01,667
Shake out your
underpants?
89
00:05:04,371 --> 00:05:05,571
Hey, sweetheart.
90
00:05:05,572 --> 00:05:06,672
Hey, honey.
91
00:05:06,673 --> 00:05:08,173
Got to go.
I'm late for class.
92
00:05:08,174 --> 00:05:09,842
What time did you
get in last night?
93
00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:11,844
Mm, I don't know.
Either 10:00 or 11:00.
94
00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:14,947
We really should buy
a digital clock for the boy.
95
00:05:16,916 --> 00:05:18,317
Have a nice night.
96
00:05:21,087 --> 00:05:23,822
So...How you doing?
97
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:25,090
Well, it sucks, mom.
98
00:05:25,091 --> 00:05:26,392
I know he's
doing it for us,
99
00:05:26,393 --> 00:05:27,960
But he's at school
all night
100
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:29,094
And I work all day.
101
00:05:29,095 --> 00:05:31,063
We don't ever get
to talk anymore.
102
00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:32,364
Well, that's a shame
103
00:05:32,365 --> 00:05:33,799
'cause you're really
missing something.
104
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:34,967
I mean, when you're
not around,
105
00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:37,403
The witty, insightful
things that come out
106
00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:39,805
Of that boy's mouth you
just wouldn't believe.
107
00:05:39,806 --> 00:05:41,473
It's like the only time
we spend together
108
00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:43,308
Is when he wakes me up
when he gets home.
109
00:05:43,309 --> 00:05:45,444
At least he's still
polite enough
110
00:05:45,445 --> 00:05:46,845
To wake you up first.
111
00:06:01,494 --> 00:06:05,264
Wow, the chestnut room
at the ramada inn.
112
00:06:05,265 --> 00:06:07,933
These broads have got
to be doing all right.
113
00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:11,170
The rooms here are
really nice too.
114
00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:12,738
I've heard.
115
00:06:12,739 --> 00:06:14,840
God, Nancy, what did
you dress like that for?
116
00:06:14,841 --> 00:06:16,342
This is a women's
business meeting.
117
00:06:16,343 --> 00:06:17,976
It's not a girl bar.
118
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:22,381
Roseanne,
you are so naive.
119
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:31,023
But...Most of these
women are married.
120
00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:33,092
You are so naive.
121
00:06:34,761 --> 00:06:36,428
Hello, hello, ladies.
122
00:06:36,429 --> 00:06:38,697
I'm lucille lacompt.
I'm the greeter tonight.
123
00:06:38,698 --> 00:06:39,898
Entre vous.
124
00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:43,135
Oh, well, that's French,
isn't it.
125
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:46,171
French, the language
of...France.
126
00:06:49,876 --> 00:06:51,276
Well, it's certainly
nice talking to you,
127
00:06:51,277 --> 00:06:52,978
And i'm sure we'll
get the chance
128
00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:54,413
To talk to you
again later.
129
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:55,781
Yes, let's do that.
130
00:06:55,782 --> 00:06:58,517
I think we did pretty
good there, Roseanne.
131
00:06:58,518 --> 00:07:00,285
Oh, all these
stuck-up broads
132
00:07:00,286 --> 00:07:01,420
In business suits.
133
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,589
I should have
worn underwear.
134
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:06,692
There's a mens group
meeting across the hall.
135
00:07:06,693 --> 00:07:10,062
All right,
it's just a hassle using birth control.
136
00:07:11,731 --> 00:07:13,032
We brought her,
137
00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:15,668
And I have to tell
everybody i'm married?
138
00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:20,172
Hello.
Hello.
139
00:07:22,542 --> 00:07:24,943
Oh, Roseanne Conner.
140
00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:27,579
You wouldn't be D.J.'s
mother, would you?
141
00:07:27,580 --> 00:07:29,515
Well, that depends.
What'd he do?
142
00:07:29,516 --> 00:07:32,217
You know, I think our sons
are in the same class.
143
00:07:32,218 --> 00:07:33,786
Ohh!
144
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,721
Oh, well,
of course they are.
145
00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:38,023
Yeah, D.J. talks
about him all the time.
146
00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:40,192
Just this morning
he was saying, uh,
147
00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:43,796
We don't see enough
of that Anderson kid.
148
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,030
Elijah.
149
00:07:45,031 --> 00:07:48,300
Elijah. That's such
a great name.
150
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,336
I've never seen you
at our meetings before.
151
00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:51,570
Do you work here
in town?
152
00:07:51,571 --> 00:07:55,007
Um, yeah,
i'm the proprietor of the lunch box.
153
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:57,242
Oh, you mean
Leon Carp's place.
154
00:07:57,243 --> 00:07:59,611
Uh, no.
155
00:07:59,612 --> 00:08:02,047
Actually, Leon
is just our waiter
156
00:08:02,048 --> 00:08:05,984
And we let him think
that he owns the place.
157
00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:08,854
On Thursdays he
thinks he's the mayor.
158
00:08:08,855 --> 00:08:11,824
Well, you know how
all men like to think
159
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,859
They are the center
of the universe.
160
00:08:13,860 --> 00:08:16,261
I guess that's why
they call it the "sun,"
161
00:08:16,262 --> 00:08:18,497
And not the "daughter."
162
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:21,867
That is brilliant.
163
00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:23,435
You're certainly
a lot wittier
164
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:25,871
Than that french lady
we met at the door.
165
00:08:25,872 --> 00:08:28,507
Well, I do write
the newsletter.
166
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,109
Oh, you do.
Uh-huh.
167
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:31,777
Uh, what line of work
are you in?
168
00:08:31,778 --> 00:08:33,812
Well, my family owns
a string of bakeries
169
00:08:33,813 --> 00:08:35,447
Throughout
the entire state.
170
00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:37,316
Bakeries, huh?
171
00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:39,151
So I guess you would
make things like,
172
00:08:39,152 --> 00:08:41,487
I don't know, what,
hamburger buns?
173
00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:45,057
Oh, I love
that brooch, flo.
174
00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:46,859
Why, thanks, ro.
175
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,460
My husband
gave it to me.
176
00:08:48,461 --> 00:08:51,497
Well, either he did
something very bad
177
00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:53,132
Or you did something
very good.
178
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:57,403
Oh, you know, ro,
179
00:08:57,404 --> 00:08:59,304
I bet you are just
full of the dickens.
180
00:08:59,305 --> 00:09:01,140
Oh, yes, i've got
the dickens just
181
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:04,009
Running right out
of my ears.
182
00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:05,377
Well, the meeting's
about to start.
183
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:06,645
Maybe we can chat after.
184
00:09:06,646 --> 00:09:08,080
Oh, I can't wait.
185
00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:10,716
I got to hand it
to you, Roseanne.
186
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:12,551
You were very pleasant
and personable.
187
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,053
Yeah, it was fun too,
188
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:16,255
Although I know
i'll be sore tomorrow.
189
00:09:37,944 --> 00:09:40,212
Hey, can I
help you, buddy?
190
00:09:40,213 --> 00:09:41,580
Beer.
191
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,048
I didn't know you
were working here.
192
00:09:43,049 --> 00:09:44,616
Ah, you know me.
193
00:09:44,617 --> 00:09:47,753
Eccentric millionaire
taking on odd jobs
194
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,988
So he can mingle
with the common folk.
195
00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:51,523
That's what I like
about you, Chuck.
196
00:09:51,524 --> 00:09:52,691
You're not stuck-up.
197
00:09:52,692 --> 00:09:54,059
Not like our other
millionaire friend
198
00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:55,694
Who works down
at the car wash.
199
00:09:59,165 --> 00:10:01,467
Whoa, what the hell
are you doing here?
200
00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:03,135
Oh, man.
201
00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:04,670
He comes in here
every night
202
00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:06,472
Around 7:00.
203
00:10:09,709 --> 00:10:11,243
Mind if we talk?
204
00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:12,845
We'll have to keep
our voices down,
205
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:14,013
This being
the library and all.
206
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,316
Just leave me
alone, Dan, will you?
207
00:10:17,317 --> 00:10:18,617
Why the hell aren't
you in class?
208
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,152
I went a couple of times.
209
00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:22,121
It was just not
my thing, okay?
210
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,989
What do you mean,
it wasn't your thing?
211
00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:25,357
We gave you money
for school.
212
00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:27,092
We own your thing.
213
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,329
It just didn't work out,
so I quit.
214
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:31,697
What do you
want me to do?
215
00:10:31,698 --> 00:10:32,998
How 'bout showing
the family
216
00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:34,500
You've got this much
responsibility?
217
00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:35,668
Man, I can't believe
218
00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:38,170
I took your side
back at the house.
219
00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:39,972
Hey, I don't need you
on my side.
220
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,106
Wait a minute.
221
00:10:41,107 --> 00:10:43,308
You're not gonna tell
Becky or Mrs. Conner
222
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:44,576
You saw me here,
are you?
223
00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:46,979
No...You are.
224
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,981
Why don't you save them
the trouble
225
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,349
And kill me right now?
226
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:51,650
Oh, come on, Mark,
227
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,552
Roseanne's not
gonna kill you.
228
00:10:53,553 --> 00:10:54,987
Not with all
the questions
229
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,723
Surrounding the death
of becky's first husband.
230
00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:09,702
So then Carol Collins,
you know, the pie lady,
231
00:11:09,703 --> 00:11:12,971
She ends up
leaving with Nancy.
232
00:11:14,974 --> 00:11:16,575
No way, mom!
233
00:11:16,576 --> 00:11:18,644
I know that woman.
She's married.
234
00:11:18,645 --> 00:11:20,579
God, you're so naive.
235
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:24,717
Hey, Mark,
how was it tonight?
236
00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:25,684
Tell 'em.
237
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:28,654
I quit school.
238
00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:29,855
What!
239
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:31,190
I went a couple
of times.
240
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,391
It just didn't
work out.
241
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:33,559
I found him
at the Lobo.
242
00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:34,693
He's been there
every night.
243
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,528
How could you do
something like this?
244
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,364
See, I knew you
wouldn't be on my side.
245
00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:39,665
On your side?
246
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:41,066
Why should I
be on your side?
247
00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:42,735
You've been lying
to me for weeks.
248
00:11:42,736 --> 00:11:44,470
Let's just talk
about this upstairs.
249
00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:47,539
No. I have nothing
to say to you.
250
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,942
Becky, oh, you got
plenty to say to him,
251
00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:52,745
Starting with,
"get your butt back to school!"
252
00:11:52,746 --> 00:11:55,080
I can't make him go.
I don't control him.
253
00:11:55,081 --> 00:11:57,049
What do you mean
you don't control him?
254
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,051
You're his wife!
255
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,786
But I still can't
make him go back.
256
00:12:00,787 --> 00:12:02,021
He doesn't even
listen to me.
257
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:04,023
That's because you're
not yelling loud enough.
258
00:12:04,024 --> 00:12:05,591
I'm not so sure
259
00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:07,226
You should blame
her, Roseanne.
260
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:08,594
Mark's got a mind
of his own.
261
00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:10,462
Well, I got
an exercise bike too,
262
00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:12,664
But that don't mean
i'm ever gonna use it!
263
00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:25,177
Come on, lucky.
264
00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:28,080
Come on out of that
coma for Luke and Laura.
265
00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:33,185
Will Liz Taylor's
curse never end?
266
00:12:35,622 --> 00:12:37,189
[D.J.]
sit there.
267
00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:39,158
Mom, this is Elijah.
268
00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:41,293
Hi.
Oh, hi!
269
00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:43,896
You must be
Florence's boy.
270
00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:45,130
Nice to meet you.
271
00:12:45,131 --> 00:12:47,366
Okay, I talked
to him at school,
272
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,201
I brought him home
like you told me to,
273
00:12:49,202 --> 00:12:50,436
And now i'm done.
274
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,505
Where are you going?
275
00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:55,107
Izzy Miller's house.
276
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,309
D.J.... [snaps]
over here.
277
00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:58,811
[door closes]
278
00:12:58,812 --> 00:13:01,380
Now, you stop being
mean to Elijah, and play with him.
279
00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:02,915
I can't.
He sings.
280
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:05,584
What do you mean,
he sings?
281
00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:08,220
He sings real quietly
to himself all the time.
282
00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:09,755
He never stops.
283
00:13:09,756 --> 00:13:11,457
I hate him, I hate him,
I hate him!
284
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:12,925
D.J....
285
00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:14,927
You get ahold
of yourself now.
286
00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:16,362
You are gonna
play with him.
287
00:13:16,363 --> 00:13:17,463
He's a very nice boy.
288
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:20,733
If you like him so much,
you play with him.
289
00:13:20,734 --> 00:13:27,473
Puff the magic dragon
lived by the sea
290
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,475
Told you.
291
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:35,047
...The autumn mist
in a land called honah lee
292
00:13:35,048 --> 00:13:38,317
little
Jackie pap--
293
00:13:39,886 --> 00:13:41,487
How come you stopped?
294
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:42,921
Stopped what?
295
00:13:42,922 --> 00:13:44,089
Singing.
296
00:13:44,090 --> 00:13:45,858
I wasn't singing.
297
00:13:45,859 --> 00:13:48,727
Hey, D.J.,
who's your friend?
298
00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:51,296
Izzy Miller.
299
00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:53,632
I know that, son,
but who's this boy?
300
00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:56,301
we're off to see
the wizard...
301
00:13:56,302 --> 00:13:58,404
[D.J.]
this is Elijah.
302
00:13:58,405 --> 00:14:02,007
What's he doing?
303
00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:03,909
Singing.
304
00:14:03,910 --> 00:14:05,978
How do you get
him to stop?
305
00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:09,381
because, because,
because, because
306
00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:11,283
because...
307
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:21,460
So, Elijah...
308
00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:23,195
You like
to sing, huh?
309
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:26,532
I wasn't singing.
310
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:29,001
Yeah, Dan,
what's wrong with you?
311
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:32,771
Am I staying
for dinner?
312
00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:34,273
Sure, if you'd
like to.
313
00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:35,574
What are you having?
314
00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:38,377
Liver and boiled fish
315
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,045
With liver sauce.
316
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:42,815
I think I got
to go home now.
317
00:14:42,816 --> 00:14:44,483
Bummer.
318
00:14:46,453 --> 00:14:48,020
[door closes]
319
00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:51,824
Oh, we've just got
to have that kid over more often.
320
00:14:51,825 --> 00:14:54,960
Makes our other
kids less odd.
321
00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:57,262
I think every kid
on earth looks less odd
322
00:14:57,263 --> 00:15:00,666
Next to Elijah Minnelli.
323
00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:04,470
start spreading
the news
324
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:06,405
That's Elijah with A J.
325
00:15:09,175 --> 00:15:10,409
Hey.
326
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:13,178
Shh!
Mark's reading.
327
00:15:13,179 --> 00:15:14,713
Oh, well,
I hate to ruin
328
00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:16,181
The end of it
for you, Mark,
329
00:15:16,182 --> 00:15:18,817
But he eats
the green eggs and ham.
330
00:15:20,887 --> 00:15:23,489
I'm studying
upstairs.
331
00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:24,490
Don't pick
on him, mom.
332
00:15:24,491 --> 00:15:25,891
He's really doing it
this time.
333
00:15:25,892 --> 00:15:27,926
We spent all day
working together.
334
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,395
I can't believe
how much he's learned.
335
00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:32,197
Well, does this mean
we have to stop spelling stuff out
336
00:15:32,198 --> 00:15:33,999
That we don't want
him to know about?
337
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,168
I'm serious.
338
00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:37,836
I mean, you were
right, mom.
339
00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:39,605
You can make husbands
do like anything.
340
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:42,641
You are catching on,
Mrs. Healy.
341
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:44,543
Men need to be molded.
342
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:48,213
Think of them not
as lumps of clay,
343
00:15:48,214 --> 00:15:51,116
But...As lumps.
344
00:15:53,353 --> 00:15:54,787
[belches]
345
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:58,724
Out of milk.
346
00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:17,776
Well, hi,
flo and elijah!
347
00:16:17,777 --> 00:16:19,111
Cool hats.
348
00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:20,679
Thanks, Roseanne.
349
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,848
We biked over here
to talk to you
350
00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:24,450
About your son.
351
00:16:24,451 --> 00:16:25,718
Well, he did something
352
00:16:25,719 --> 00:16:27,853
That really upset
my elijah.
353
00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:30,923
Well, thank you
for telling me.
354
00:16:30,924 --> 00:16:32,958
I will punish him
severely.
355
00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:34,626
Well, don't you want
to know what he did?
356
00:16:36,062 --> 00:16:37,763
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That'd be good.
357
00:16:40,066 --> 00:16:42,568
Well, yesterday,
in front of a large group of children,
358
00:16:42,569 --> 00:16:46,538
D.J. called him
Elijah Minnelli.
359
00:16:56,082 --> 00:16:58,183
No, he didn't.
360
00:16:59,753 --> 00:17:01,520
D.J., come out here!
361
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:05,124
Children can be
so cruel.
362
00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:07,526
What?
363
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,328
I'm gonna pretend
like i'm yelling at you,
364
00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:11,130
So just go along
with it. Okay.
365
00:17:13,099 --> 00:17:15,634
D.J., i'm going to
ask you a simple question,
366
00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:18,003
And I want a simple
answer, yes or no.
367
00:17:18,004 --> 00:17:21,440
Did you call him
Elijah Minnelli?
368
00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:22,708
Yes, but you--
369
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:23,876
Yes or no?
370
00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:25,878
Yes.
371
00:17:25,879 --> 00:17:29,114
Well, you really
hurt his feelings, D.J.
372
00:17:29,115 --> 00:17:30,983
As you know,
I did not raise you
373
00:17:30,984 --> 00:17:32,117
To be a name-caller.
374
00:17:32,118 --> 00:17:33,352
That is mean.
375
00:17:37,023 --> 00:17:38,891
Tell him you're sorry.
376
00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:40,159
I'm sorry.
377
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:41,260
That's okay.
378
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:42,561
You want to come
over tomorrow?
379
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,263
Uh, no, I bet
i'm grounded.
380
00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:45,798
You sure are.
381
00:17:45,799 --> 00:17:47,132
See?
382
00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:51,403
All right, then.
383
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:53,105
Thank you, Ro.
384
00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:54,540
I'll look forward
to seeing you
385
00:17:54,541 --> 00:17:55,708
At the next
meeting.
386
00:17:55,709 --> 00:17:57,176
Me too, Flo.
387
00:17:57,177 --> 00:17:58,477
And don't you
worry about it,
388
00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:00,079
Because i'm not
quite done
389
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:01,480
Talking to this
young man.
390
00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:04,016
Mom, I said
I was sorry!
391
00:18:04,017 --> 00:18:07,386
Well, sorry really
isn't good enough, is it?
392
00:18:07,387 --> 00:18:09,888
Come on, i'll change.
I promise I will.
393
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:11,223
Please!
394
00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:12,691
Please, I promise!
395
00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:15,060
That's what you say
every single time.
396
00:18:15,061 --> 00:18:16,595
I will, I will.
[door closes]
397
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:18,530
They're gone.
Let's go have ice cream.
398
00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:33,412
Hey, Mark.
399
00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:34,580
I made flash cards
400
00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:35,881
For the next
two chapters.
401
00:18:35,882 --> 00:18:37,716
Yeah? [chuckles]
we got our tests back.
402
00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:39,184
The only f
in the class.
403
00:18:39,185 --> 00:18:40,452
They even posted
the grades
404
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:41,720
Where everybody
could see 'em.
405
00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:43,455
You proud of me?
406
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:45,824
You studied for this.
I don't understand how this could happen.
407
00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:47,026
You should never
have made me
408
00:18:47,027 --> 00:18:48,694
Go to that damn school
in the first place.
409
00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:50,696
I didn't make you.
You wanted to go.
410
00:18:50,697 --> 00:18:52,531
Wrong. You never
even asked me.
411
00:18:52,532 --> 00:18:54,733
Then again, you don't
give a crap what I think.
412
00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:56,802
You never have.
413
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:58,370
Could you guys
start over again?
414
00:18:58,371 --> 00:19:01,340
I hate it when I miss
out on the beginning.
415
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:04,543
Mrs. Conner, you always
thought I was stupid.
416
00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:05,878
Now, here's your proof.
417
00:19:05,879 --> 00:19:07,880
Go ahead,
make your jokes.
418
00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:11,250
Well, it's really
not funny
419
00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:13,619
Now that we know
it's true.
420
00:19:20,794 --> 00:19:23,262
In fact,
it's kind of sad.
421
00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:26,665
Or at least
not as funny.
422
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,667
Mom, he's not stupid.
423
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,369
He's just not good
at taking tests.
424
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:33,572
I think when you don't
know any of the answers to any of the questions,
425
00:19:33,573 --> 00:19:35,407
You're not good
at taking tests.
426
00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:37,743
Yeah, but look here.
You spelled your name right.
427
00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:40,646
Although, it is the 15th.
428
00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:43,082
Mom, leave us alone.
429
00:19:43,083 --> 00:19:44,850
Oh, i'm just
teasing you, Mark.
430
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:46,018
Everybody
gets an f.
431
00:19:46,019 --> 00:19:47,753
You're gonna do way
better next time.
432
00:19:47,754 --> 00:19:48,887
Oh, no, I won't.
433
00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:51,323
I'm dropping out.
434
00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:52,424
Becky.
435
00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:53,992
Mark, you're
going back.
436
00:19:53,993 --> 00:19:55,894
We both know it's
what's best for you.
437
00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:57,129
No, it's what's
best for you.
438
00:19:57,130 --> 00:19:58,664
Why are you always
trying to change me?
439
00:19:58,665 --> 00:20:00,466
I'm not trying
to change you.
440
00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:02,334
I just want you to
realize you're not worthless.
441
00:20:03,770 --> 00:20:05,704
I never thought
I was worthless.
442
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:07,139
That's not
what I meant.
443
00:20:07,140 --> 00:20:08,474
What are you doing?
444
00:20:08,475 --> 00:20:10,075
I'm gonna stay
at roy's tonight. Why?
445
00:20:10,076 --> 00:20:12,111
You're the great student.
You figure it out.
446
00:20:12,112 --> 00:20:13,245
Go find some
college boy
447
00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:14,713
Who's got what
you want.
448
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:16,882
Mark, wait!
449
00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:18,050
[door opens]
450
00:20:18,051 --> 00:20:20,152
[sighs]
451
00:20:20,153 --> 00:20:22,521
Well, mother, I kept
pushing him like you said,
452
00:20:22,522 --> 00:20:23,789
And he left me.
453
00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:26,258
Congratulations,
you finally broke us up.
454
00:20:26,259 --> 00:20:27,659
Well, it doesn't count.
455
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,094
I wasn't even trying.
456
00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:38,203
No, you guys
can't break up.
457
00:20:38,204 --> 00:20:39,371
Listen to me.
458
00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:41,540
I gave some advice
to my daughter,
459
00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:43,609
And, okay, that kind of
blew up in my face,
460
00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:46,745
But trust me, you two
belong together.
461
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:49,181
I don't know, Roseanne.
462
00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:56,121
We've been
through so much,
463
00:20:56,122 --> 00:20:58,323
And it just
gets harder.
464
00:20:58,324 --> 00:21:00,159
You wouldn't believe
the incredible drama
465
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,661
That we're always
going through.
466
00:21:02,662 --> 00:21:04,296
Oh, wouldn't I?
467
00:21:04,297 --> 00:21:06,632
Dan, come out here!
468
00:21:06,633 --> 00:21:08,600
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What the--
469
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:10,235
Oh, yes, dear?
470
00:21:10,236 --> 00:21:11,870
I'd like to
introduce you
471
00:21:11,871 --> 00:21:13,505
To somebody
famous.
472
00:21:13,506 --> 00:21:18,143
Oh, man, this is
a real honor.
473
00:21:18,144 --> 00:21:19,345
Think Paul Simon and you
474
00:21:19,346 --> 00:21:20,546
Will ever get back
together again?
475
00:21:25,719 --> 00:21:26,885
Oh, no.
476
00:21:26,886 --> 00:21:29,621
Uh, no, we're
Luke and Laura
477
00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:31,190
From generalhospital.
478
00:21:31,191 --> 00:21:34,126
I'm sorry.
I'm a guiding light man.
479
00:21:35,462 --> 00:21:37,296
They were telling me
about all the trouble
480
00:21:37,297 --> 00:21:38,397
They're having
in their marriage,
481
00:21:38,398 --> 00:21:40,099
So I thought you
should tell 'em
482
00:21:40,100 --> 00:21:41,667
Some of the stuff
we've been through.
483
00:21:41,668 --> 00:21:43,268
I don't know
where to start.
484
00:21:43,269 --> 00:21:45,371
Last year
I lost my job,
485
00:21:45,372 --> 00:21:47,006
My daughter ran off,
486
00:21:47,007 --> 00:21:49,775
Sister-in-law
got beat up,
487
00:21:49,776 --> 00:21:51,377
I got thrown
in jail,
488
00:21:51,378 --> 00:21:53,512
Roseanne's
dad died...
489
00:21:56,182 --> 00:21:58,183
Seems like
every week
490
00:21:58,184 --> 00:22:00,152
Something else
is happening to us.
491
00:22:00,153 --> 00:22:02,821
It seems like it
happens again
492
00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:04,757
In the summer too.
493
00:22:07,494 --> 00:22:09,128
Well, he got
in a fight
494
00:22:09,129 --> 00:22:10,996
With my ex-husband
on our wedding day.
495
00:22:10,997 --> 00:22:12,097
Well, that was
only because
496
00:22:12,098 --> 00:22:13,298
You didn't make sure
497
00:22:13,299 --> 00:22:16,268
That stupid mexican
divorce from him was legal.
498
00:22:16,269 --> 00:22:17,736
Well, our daughter,
Becky,
499
00:22:17,737 --> 00:22:19,338
Left home for
a year and a half,
500
00:22:19,339 --> 00:22:21,674
And when she came back
we barely recognized her.
501
00:22:26,046 --> 00:22:28,047
But the most
important thing
502
00:22:28,048 --> 00:22:30,716
Is we've stuck
together.
503
00:22:30,717 --> 00:22:33,585
Now, you two still love
each other, don't you?
504
00:22:33,586 --> 00:22:35,721
[dramatic music plays]
well...
505
00:22:35,722 --> 00:22:39,024
I did really miss you
those two years
506
00:22:39,025 --> 00:22:40,726
That I was abducted
and held captive
507
00:22:40,727 --> 00:22:41,960
On that island.
508
00:22:43,496 --> 00:22:45,597
And i'll never forget
the good times we had
509
00:22:45,598 --> 00:22:49,134
Saving the world
from Mikkos Cassadine's evil weather machine.
510
00:22:49,135 --> 00:22:51,437
[general hospital
theme plays]
511
00:22:51,487 --> 00:22:56,037
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