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1
00:00:03,804 --> 00:00:06,240
[theme music]
2
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:07,141
Hey.
3
00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:08,109
Hey, look who's here.
4
00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:09,009
Hey.
5
00:00:09,110 --> 00:00:10,178
Knocked off early.
6
00:00:10,278 --> 00:00:12,813
I thought I'd do something
special for myself.
7
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New thermos.
8
00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:17,185
Ooh, plaid.
9
00:00:17,285 --> 00:00:18,086
Snazzy.
10
00:00:20,754 --> 00:00:22,290
I wanna knock off early, too.
11
00:00:22,390 --> 00:00:23,391
Can you cover for me?
12
00:00:23,491 --> 00:00:24,725
Oh, no problem.
13
00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:25,626
Cool.
14
00:00:25,726 --> 00:00:27,128
Hey, I've got the afternoon off.
15
00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:28,329
We'll do something together.
16
00:00:28,429 --> 00:00:29,563
I know.
17
00:00:29,663 --> 00:00:31,565
We'll go grocery shopping.
18
00:00:31,665 --> 00:00:33,167
I'll go in there and
buy the groceries,
19
00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:37,105
and you can sit out in the
car and play the radio.
20
00:00:37,205 --> 00:00:39,140
Quality time.
21
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,741
See you later, Bonnie.
22
00:00:40,841 --> 00:00:43,977
'Scuse me.
23
00:00:44,078 --> 00:00:45,346
Oh, yeah, sorry.
24
00:00:45,446 --> 00:00:47,081
Leon, Dan, Dan, Leon.
25
00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:48,116
Bye.
26
00:00:48,216 --> 00:00:49,950
Roseanne.
27
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:53,020
Don't you think it might be
appropriate to, say, uh, check
28
00:00:53,121 --> 00:00:56,457
with the boss before
simply taking off?
29
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,159
Well, you know, it's dead
in here and everything,
30
00:00:58,259 --> 00:00:59,693
Bonnie says she
could cover for me.
31
00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:00,594
What's the problem?
32
00:01:08,169 --> 00:01:11,372
The problem is that
you keep doing this.
33
00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:12,740
You took yesterday morning off.
34
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:13,741
You didn't tell me.
35
00:01:13,841 --> 00:01:15,809
Last Saturday, Estelle
covered for you.
36
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,878
Estelle tells me that.
37
00:01:17,978 --> 00:01:20,013
I set the schedule
around here, Roseanne,
38
00:01:20,114 --> 00:01:22,683
and you're ignoring it,
which makes me wonder
39
00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:24,852
if you really want this job.
40
00:01:24,952 --> 00:01:25,819
Of course I do.
41
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:29,423
The hours are great.
42
00:01:29,523 --> 00:02:13,334
[MUSIC PLAYING - ED STARINK,
ROSEANNE THEME SONG]
43
00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:18,339
[music playing]
44
00:02:18,439 --> 00:02:20,040
It's freezing out there.
45
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,909
Ah, but it'll be
80 degrees when we
46
00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:23,076
get to Las Vegas this weekend.
47
00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:25,546
Oh, I can't wait.
48
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:27,047
Hey, check this
out-- these really
49
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:29,750
cool sunglasses I bought.
50
00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:30,951
What do you need those for?
51
00:02:31,051 --> 00:02:32,420
You know you're never
going to leave the casino.
52
00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,422
Well, they're to cover
my eyes when I'm bluffing.
53
00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:41,429
You can't bluff
a slot machine.
54
00:02:41,529 --> 00:02:42,630
I don't see why not.
55
00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:44,432
You talk to the dice.
56
00:02:44,532 --> 00:02:46,200
Honey, slots don't pay.
57
00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:47,735
You gotta let me teach
you how to shoot craps.
58
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:49,102
No, I don't like that.
59
00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:52,473
You've got to stand
up the whole time.
60
00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:53,841
Best odds in the house.
61
00:02:53,941 --> 00:02:56,844
Oh, face it, Dan, the best
odds in Las Vegas in our favor
62
00:02:56,944 --> 00:02:57,878
are at the buffet table.
63
00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:02,983
Oh, that reminds me.
64
00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:03,951
Bring your big purse.
65
00:03:07,255 --> 00:03:09,357
Well anyways, I don't
care nothing about gambling,
66
00:03:09,457 --> 00:03:10,424
to tell you the truth.
67
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:13,193
All is I want to do
is see Wayne Newton.
68
00:03:13,294 --> 00:03:18,299
Oh yeah, the Main Wayne,
the Big Fig, Sir Isaac Wayne.
69
00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:20,100
Remember when we
saw him in Chicago
70
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:25,506
and he was singing that, ah,
Appleblossom Time just to me?
71
00:03:25,606 --> 00:03:29,042
Thought he was singing to me.
72
00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:30,511
Dream on.
73
00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:31,479
Hey.
74
00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:32,713
Hey.
75
00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:34,615
Now, I don't want you
guys living on pizza
76
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,083
the whole weekend, so
I went out and bought
77
00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:36,984
you this nice ravioli.
78
00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:42,790
Thanks.
79
00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:45,025
So, what time are you
guys leaving tomorrow?
80
00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:46,794
Since I get off work.
81
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:49,863
So, that'd be,
what, like, 5 o'clock?
82
00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:51,899
- Yeah, I guess.
- 5:30?
83
00:03:51,999 --> 00:03:54,535
Becky, you trying
to get rid of us?
84
00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:55,903
No!
85
00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:58,772
I-- I just want to make sure
I'm here to say goodbye, at--
86
00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:00,040
what, quarter to 6:00?
87
00:04:03,311 --> 00:04:05,479
I think that's about right.
88
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,315
Well, you know, you guys
got to allow yourself plenty
89
00:04:07,415 --> 00:04:09,116
of time to get to the airport.
90
00:04:09,216 --> 00:04:11,419
Well, that's a
great idea, honey.
91
00:04:11,519 --> 00:04:13,721
OK.
92
00:04:13,821 --> 00:04:16,156
So, Dan, I guess this
party we don't know
93
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:19,126
about starts, what, 7:00, 7:30?
94
00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:20,260
Party?
95
00:04:20,361 --> 00:04:21,829
Why would they have a
party the one weekend
96
00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:23,464
we're going to be out of town?
97
00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:24,798
Knock knock.
98
00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:25,699
Who's there?
99
00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:28,469
Oh, Roseanne.
100
00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:30,070
Thanks for bringing me
that suitcase, Crystal.
101
00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:32,406
Crystal, you shouldn't be
hauling around that big bag
102
00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:33,374
in your condition.
103
00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:35,309
Well, there's
nothing in it, Dan.
104
00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:37,044
I just brought it over
because Roseanne asked
105
00:04:37,144 --> 00:04:38,312
to borrow it for your trip.
106
00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:40,514
Here, sit down.
107
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:44,151
Goodness, Dan, I'm
pregnant, I'm not dying.
108
00:04:44,251 --> 00:04:46,920
Oh, he's just wonderful
like that, Crystal.
109
00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:48,556
You know, when I was
pregnant with Darlene,
110
00:04:48,656 --> 00:04:51,392
he was so nice to me I
held her in for 16 months.
111
00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:55,329
Hi!
112
00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:56,430
Hi.
113
00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:59,032
Oh, we're going to miss
you when we're gone.
114
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,701
I'll take good care
of him, Roseanne.
115
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:03,103
Why can't I stay home
with Becky and Darlene?
116
00:05:03,203 --> 00:05:04,872
Because I don't want you
to spend the whole weekend
117
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,907
locked up in a closet.
118
00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:09,543
Roseanne, here's $5.00.
119
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,412
I want you to put it in one
of those slot machines that
120
00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:13,313
has the million dollar jackpot.
121
00:05:13,414 --> 00:05:14,848
And if it wins a
million dollars, stop.
122
00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:23,023
Well, I'm up $5.00, Dan, and
you said the slots don't pay.
123
00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:25,759
You know, I envy you two.
124
00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:28,996
A weekend of luxury
in Las Vegas.
125
00:05:29,096 --> 00:05:32,866
Well, we try to get away,
what, every 15, 16 years?
126
00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:35,335
You know, so we can
relate to each other
127
00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:38,071
as a man and a woman.
128
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:42,743
Yeah, then right after that
I'm going to go shoot craps.
129
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:47,080
Well, that'll kill
another five minutes.
130
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:52,953
[music playing]
131
00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:55,523
I'm gonna write down
the number of the hotel,
132
00:05:55,623 --> 00:05:57,658
just in case there's a problem.
133
00:05:57,758 --> 00:05:58,659
Dad, we're not babies.
134
00:05:58,759 --> 00:05:59,993
You don't have to
worry about us.
135
00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:02,930
I'm not worried about you,
I'm worried about the house.
136
00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:06,700
So.
137
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,769
What time's the party start?
138
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:10,704
What are you talking about?
139
00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:12,440
Girls, listen.
140
00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:15,576
When I was your age, and my
parents went out of town,
141
00:06:15,676 --> 00:06:18,011
I had a party.
142
00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:19,012
I had a great party.
143
00:06:21,849 --> 00:06:22,850
Legendary.
144
00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:25,853
People wrote songs about it.
145
00:06:25,953 --> 00:06:28,188
So, did your parents
know you had it?
146
00:06:28,288 --> 00:06:29,857
Of course not.
147
00:06:29,957 --> 00:06:31,925
Then we're not having a party.
148
00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:33,727
I know.
149
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,529
Hey, guy, hi.
150
00:06:35,629 --> 00:06:36,564
Is DJ ready?
151
00:06:36,664 --> 00:06:38,466
Uh, DJ, Aunt Jackie's here.
152
00:06:38,566 --> 00:06:40,934
OK, Dan, what time do you
want me over here tonight?
153
00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:42,135
Jackie's coming over?
154
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,103
Why?
155
00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:44,171
It's still a big secret.
156
00:06:46,774 --> 00:06:49,109
Oh, that's cute!
157
00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:50,944
We're not having a party.
158
00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:51,979
Why won't you believe us?
159
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:53,914
Dan, I've got a great idea.
160
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:55,315
Since I'm coming
over tonight anyway,
161
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,317
you know, just to hang
with the girls, how about
162
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,520
I wear my old cop uniform?
163
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,855
Sure!
164
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:05,158
Not like you're having
a party or anything.
165
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,560
OK, OK, we're having a party.
166
00:07:06,660 --> 00:07:07,461
God.
167
00:07:07,561 --> 00:07:10,163
OK, right to the rules.
168
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:13,066
No booze, no pot, no
sex below the neck,
169
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:15,235
everybody out by midnight.
DARLENE: 1:00.
170
00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:16,470
12:30, and no rap music.
171
00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:17,370
Why not?
172
00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:19,272
I don't like it.
173
00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:24,645
[music playing]
174
00:07:24,745 --> 00:07:25,879
Oh, man, I'm late.
175
00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:27,247
I've got to get out of here.
176
00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:28,616
Oh, wait, Roseanne?
177
00:07:28,716 --> 00:07:29,950
Look, here's $2.00.
178
00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:32,520
Take it to the roulette table
and put it on number 17.
179
00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:34,555
Just let it ride until I lose.
180
00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:35,523
What's the point?
181
00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:36,557
I love the action.
182
00:07:39,527 --> 00:07:41,862
OK, see you later.
Bye.
183
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:43,463
- See you tomorrow, Roseanne.
- Tuesday.
184
00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:44,698
Tuesday?
185
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:47,601
Oh, no, we're in the middle
of a big weekend sale,
186
00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:49,637
and I have you on the schedule.
187
00:07:49,737 --> 00:07:51,505
I told you about
this weeks ago.
188
00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:52,405
No, ma'am.
189
00:07:52,506 --> 00:07:55,108
I wasn't here weeks ago.
190
00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:58,979
Well, I told
some guy in a suit.
191
00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:01,181
That suit doesn't
work here anymore.
192
00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:02,315
And he didn't take care of it.
193
00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:04,818
No, you are working tomorrow.
194
00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:06,386
I'm going to Vegas.
195
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:09,356
How am I going to
replace you on no notice?
196
00:08:09,456 --> 00:08:11,158
I have had this trip
planned for months.
197
00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:13,627
I got nonrefundable
plane tickets.
198
00:08:13,727 --> 00:08:14,995
Aw.
199
00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:20,934
Oh, well that falls into the
category of not my problem.
200
00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:22,502
Give me a break.
201
00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:24,271
No, Roseanne, you
give me a break.
202
00:08:24,371 --> 00:08:27,174
You just come and go
here as you please.
203
00:08:27,274 --> 00:08:28,375
You totally ignore me.
204
00:08:28,475 --> 00:08:29,543
So is that what this is about?
205
00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:31,178
Because I'm not
nice enough to you?
206
00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:33,213
I'm running a business.
207
00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:36,516
And I need a waitress
tomorrow, so let's just say
208
00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:39,119
either you're here
to work your shift,
209
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:41,121
or don't come back at all.
210
00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:53,033
[music playing]
211
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:54,167
The money's spent.
212
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:55,936
If we don't get on the
plane, we're out $500.
213
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:58,105
So, do you think I should go?
214
00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:00,608
Roseanne, we've been
saving for this trip forever.
215
00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:01,809
I know that.
216
00:09:01,909 --> 00:09:03,577
If we leave right now,
we drive the speed limit,
217
00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:06,346
we'll just miss the plane.
218
00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:09,449
Well, I gotta talk
about this some more now.
219
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:10,718
OK, talk.
220
00:09:10,818 --> 00:09:13,320
OK, now, I know you think
this is some waitress job,
221
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:14,988
but I really like it, you know?
222
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:17,591
And I like Bonnie, and I
like being in the mall too.
223
00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:18,592
And, I mean--
224
00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:20,761
OK, Leon, he's a
piece of garbage,
225
00:09:20,861 --> 00:09:22,796
but if I had to quit
that job, then I have
226
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,097
to go look for another job.
227
00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:26,533
I could end up with a boss
that's even worse than that.
228
00:09:26,634 --> 00:09:27,434
Crazy world, isn't it?
229
00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:30,437
OK, let's go.
230
00:09:30,537 --> 00:09:32,039
Boy, you really care
about this, don't you?
231
00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:33,473
Roseanne, I've worked
hard for this trip,
232
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:34,407
and I don't want to miss it.
233
00:09:34,507 --> 00:09:35,643
Now, are you gonna
sit on the couch
234
00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:37,244
and bellyache over nothing,
or are we going to go
235
00:09:37,344 --> 00:09:38,378
and have a wonderful time?
236
00:09:38,478 --> 00:09:39,512
Oh, well, OK.
237
00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:41,649
We'll go and have
a wonderful time.
238
00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:44,284
But you're going to regret it.
239
00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:48,255
[music playing]
240
00:09:48,355 --> 00:09:51,725
[rock music playing]
241
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:58,565
JACKIE: No, no, no.
242
00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:02,169
No.
243
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:03,070
No.
244
00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:04,772
Party's down here.
245
00:10:04,872 --> 00:10:06,439
I just wanted to
use the bathroom.
246
00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:07,540
Well, tough.
247
00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:13,380
Uh-- let me see that.
248
00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:18,952
Carry on.
249
00:10:29,196 --> 00:10:30,563
Hi.
250
00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:32,432
Hi, how are you doing?
251
00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:33,667
Nice party.
252
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:36,603
Yeah, well, I'm
enjoying myself.
253
00:10:36,704 --> 00:10:40,674
You know, you have
got a beautiful smile.
254
00:10:40,774 --> 00:10:42,910
I'm not smiling.
255
00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:45,012
Well, why don't
we work on that?
256
00:10:45,112 --> 00:10:48,315
Ho ho ho ho, God.
257
00:10:48,415 --> 00:10:49,850
Hey, there we go!
258
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:51,551
Uh.
259
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:52,585
I'm Eric.
260
00:10:52,686 --> 00:10:53,586
I'm a senior.
261
00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:54,688
Oh.
262
00:10:54,788 --> 00:10:55,789
And you are?
263
00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:57,157
I'm Jackie.
264
00:10:57,257 --> 00:10:58,759
I'm a former senior.
265
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:02,629
Jackie.
Jackie.
266
00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:06,366
You know, that is
a beautiful name.
267
00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:07,768
Jackie, you know,
these parties, they
268
00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:11,171
make it real hard for two people
to get to know each other well.
269
00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:12,439
I got a car.
270
00:11:12,539 --> 00:11:14,341
Why don't we go somewhere?
271
00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:15,608
Listen, Eric.
272
00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:17,644
You are very cute.
273
00:11:17,745 --> 00:11:21,815
But you and I together
would be illegal.
274
00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:25,953
So, I don't think so.
275
00:11:26,053 --> 00:11:27,420
Hey, OK, it's cool.
276
00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:32,125
Yep.
277
00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:33,326
Ooh, yeah.
278
00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:34,661
Still got it.
279
00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:39,900
Look, I tried to get her out.
280
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,001
The old broad said no.
281
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:48,475
Yeah, thanks anyway.
282
00:11:48,575 --> 00:11:51,478
[music playing]
283
00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:54,982
[chatter]
284
00:11:57,584 --> 00:11:58,451
Hey, Becky?
285
00:11:58,551 --> 00:11:59,953
Hey, Brian.
286
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,389
Um, if I--
287
00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:04,792
well-- can I ask you a
question without you,
288
00:12:04,892 --> 00:12:06,760
like, telling Darlene
that I asked you?
289
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:07,861
Yeah.
290
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:10,430
Well, you know what
happened with us, right?
291
00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:13,834
Yeah, you made out on the
couch, and then you groped her.
292
00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:16,937
Yeah, she made me.
293
00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:18,138
Yeah, so?
294
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,507
Well-- I asked her to
go with me, you know,
295
00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:22,509
exclusively, and she said no.
296
00:12:22,609 --> 00:12:23,811
I don't get it.
297
00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:27,080
Well, Darlene's just sort
of discovering boys, Brian.
298
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:29,349
In fact, till she met you,
she thought she was one.
299
00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:34,121
So I should be her
boyfriend, right?
300
00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:35,789
Becky, there you are.
301
00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:38,125
I was looking for you.
302
00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:41,594
Brian, can you excuse us?
303
00:12:41,694 --> 00:12:42,729
Where you been, Beck?
304
00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:44,331
Around.
305
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:46,099
Around where?
306
00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:47,400
Outside.
307
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:48,735
With Mark?
308
00:12:48,836 --> 00:12:50,838
Look, I was going to tell
you, but I couldn't find you.
309
00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:53,941
Oh, OK.
310
00:12:54,041 --> 00:12:55,608
You're not going to
tell Mom and Dad, are you?
311
00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:56,576
No.
312
00:12:56,676 --> 00:12:58,045
You're so cool.
313
00:12:58,145 --> 00:12:59,179
Well, not really.
314
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:00,848
See, your folks figured
he'd probably show up,
315
00:13:00,948 --> 00:13:03,516
and they told me it was all
right, as long as I was here.
316
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,153
You're kidding.
He just drove away.
317
00:13:06,253 --> 00:13:11,892
Oh-- I was going to tell
you, but I couldn't find you.
318
00:13:11,992 --> 00:13:12,792
Hey, Darlene.
319
00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:13,693
Barry's here.
320
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:14,761
No way.
321
00:13:14,862 --> 00:13:16,296
He's such a scuzz.
322
00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:18,165
If he came here to drool
all over you all night,
323
00:13:18,265 --> 00:13:21,534
I swear I'll kill him.
324
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:23,436
Hi, Darlene.
325
00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:26,373
Hi, Barry.
326
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:27,875
Can I talk to
you for a minute?
327
00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:30,010
Look, Barry, I don't
think this is a good idea.
328
00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:32,545
I mean, Darlene liked
you, and you asked me out,
329
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:34,181
and she's real
vulnerable right now.
330
00:13:34,281 --> 00:13:36,783
And I don't think she should
have to go through this again.
331
00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:38,685
Shut up, Becky.
332
00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:40,187
What did you wanna
talk about, Barry?
333
00:13:44,091 --> 00:13:46,593
Uh, look, I never really
did apologize for what--
334
00:13:46,693 --> 00:13:47,928
What for?
335
00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:49,829
I mean, you like Becky
more than you like me,
336
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:52,065
so you asked her out.
337
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:53,200
Right?
338
00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:55,969
Well, it wasn't that
I like Becky, exactly.
339
00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:57,337
It's just that she's
kind of popular,
340
00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:59,639
and I got this idea that
maybe I had a chance with her.
341
00:13:59,739 --> 00:14:04,577
So it's kind of like, you
know, go for the gold.
342
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,646
Becky's gold?
343
00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:07,814
So, what am I?
- Darlene--
344
00:14:07,915 --> 00:14:11,952
Well, come on, Barry!
Pick a mineral.
345
00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:13,253
You're funny, Darlene.
346
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:14,587
Yeah, I'm a regular riot.
347
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:15,555
No.
348
00:14:15,655 --> 00:14:16,789
It's what's great about you.
349
00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:20,860
I mean, that's why I like you.
350
00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:23,096
You like me?
351
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,397
Hey!
You leave her alone.
352
00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:25,298
Who are you?
353
00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:26,399
I'm her boyfriend.
354
00:14:26,499 --> 00:14:27,867
Boyfriend?
355
00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:28,768
Oh, well, we had a thing.
356
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,638
It's over.
357
00:14:31,738 --> 00:14:33,373
Yeah, well, it was fine
until you came along.
358
00:14:33,473 --> 00:14:34,274
Hey, don't push me.
359
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:35,308
You mean like this?
360
00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:36,209
No, I mean like this.
361
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:41,048
Jeez, Darlene, who is this guy?
362
00:14:41,148 --> 00:14:43,951
[chatter]
363
00:14:44,051 --> 00:14:45,385
Let me through.
364
00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:46,419
Let me through.
365
00:14:46,519 --> 00:14:47,354
Hey!
Come on!
366
00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:48,255
You guys!
367
00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:49,222
You guys!
368
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:50,190
Come on!
369
00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:51,824
What's going on here?
370
00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:53,293
Well, I'm sitting
here talking to Darlene,
371
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:54,694
and this guy comes barging in--
372
00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:55,595
Well, I am her boyfriend.
373
00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:56,829
That's not what she says.
374
00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:58,765
Any more trouble out of
you two, you're outta here.
375
00:14:58,865 --> 00:14:59,967
I mean it.
376
00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:00,867
Come on.
377
00:15:00,968 --> 00:15:02,369
They were fighting over you?
378
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,040
Yeah.
379
00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:08,641
That's it, show's over.
380
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,243
Nothing more to see.
381
00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:12,812
Come on.
382
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:16,683
And as for you,
Darlene, excellent.
383
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:24,657
[music playing]
384
00:15:26,193 --> 00:15:28,128
PLANE CAPTAIN (OVER INTERCOM):
This is your captain speaking.
385
00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:30,497
Once again, I'd like to
apologize for the delay,
386
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,499
but the snow is coming
down pretty hard now,
387
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:33,866
and we're still
waiting for clearance
388
00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:35,335
from the tower, which
hopefully, we'll
389
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,769
be getting any minute now.
390
00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:39,172
So in the meantime, why don't
you all just sit back, relax,
391
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,508
and, uh, wait.
392
00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,310
Seven.
393
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:44,211
Seven.
394
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:50,317
Eight, eight's a point, and--
395
00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:52,619
eight or from Decatur,
get this plane to Vegas.
396
00:15:55,422 --> 00:15:57,590
Well, these
peanuts are no good.
397
00:15:57,690 --> 00:15:58,825
I didn't grow 'em, dear.
398
00:15:58,925 --> 00:16:01,161
And these seats
are too small, too.
399
00:16:01,261 --> 00:16:03,230
I didn't build
the plane, dear.
400
00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:05,598
It's never gonna
stop snowing, is it?
401
00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:07,400
My fault.
402
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:10,603
Stop acting like everything
I'm saying is your fault.
403
00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:11,504
Sorry.
404
00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:16,676
No, I'm sorry.
405
00:16:16,776 --> 00:16:18,311
I've been blaming
you the whole time,
406
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:21,481
and it stopped being
fun an hour ago.
407
00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:25,385
Well, if it'll You feel
any better, I'm up $56,000.
408
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:29,622
If we were in Vegas right
now, I could quit my job, too.
409
00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:30,923
I really like that job, Dan.
410
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:33,126
I mean, I know it wasn't
a career or nothing,
411
00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:35,428
but I was happy, and
I hate losing it.
412
00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:36,729
I know.
413
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:38,731
I'm sorry I pushed you.
414
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:41,634
I just thought you'd feel
better once you found yourself
415
00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:43,736
on an overcrowded,
uncomfortable little plane that
416
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:44,937
won't go anywhere.
417
00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:49,776
You know, maybe you won't
have to lose that job.
418
00:16:49,876 --> 00:16:52,312
I mean, once we get back from
Vegas, you can go to the mall
419
00:16:52,412 --> 00:16:53,446
and talk to the guy.
420
00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:54,881
Take a shot.
421
00:16:54,981 --> 00:16:55,782
I'll be, like, groveling.
422
00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:57,950
You want me to talk to him?
423
00:16:58,051 --> 00:17:01,321
No, I think I'd better
fight my own battles.
424
00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:03,390
We're gonna go
see Wayne Newton.
425
00:17:03,490 --> 00:17:06,126
Yeah, I bet we get
some lousy seats, too.
426
00:17:06,226 --> 00:17:09,062
Nah, I'll make sure we get us
seats right down in the front.
427
00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:10,263
Yeah?
428
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:11,898
Close enough for me to hit
him with my underpants?
429
00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:16,803
You will take them off
first, won't you, dear?
430
00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:22,509
I ain't making no promises.
431
00:17:22,609 --> 00:17:24,277
PLANE CAPTAIN (OVER INTERCOM):
Ladies and gentlemen--
432
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:25,678
All right, all right.
433
00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:26,513
PLANE CAPTAIN (OVER INTERCOM):
This is Captain Johnson again.
434
00:17:26,613 --> 00:17:27,680
We just heard from the tower.
435
00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:29,416
The snow's getting
real bad out there,
436
00:17:29,516 --> 00:17:31,017
so they are presently
trying to determine
437
00:17:31,118 --> 00:17:32,452
whether we can take off at all.
438
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:33,420
Sorry about that.
439
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:34,454
We'll know in just a moment.
440
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:35,622
Hang in there.
441
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,056
We're going to make it.
442
00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:38,491
No way.
443
00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:39,826
Look at it out there.
444
00:17:39,926 --> 00:17:42,162
This plane ain't going nowhere.
445
00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:44,764
Yeah, I got $50 says it is.
446
00:17:44,864 --> 00:17:46,166
I'll take five of that.
447
00:17:46,266 --> 00:17:47,700
- Dan.
- Honey, I'm on a roll.
448
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,602
You're on, bud.
- Hey, I'll take $10.
449
00:17:49,702 --> 00:17:50,837
You're on.
You got it.
450
00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:51,838
- I got it for $15.
- You got it.
451
00:17:51,938 --> 00:17:53,106
- I'm going double, pal.
- Outstanding.
452
00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:53,973
PLANE CAPTAIN (OVER INTERCOM):
Ladies and Gentlemen--
453
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,242
Shh.
454
00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:57,009
PLANE CAPTAIN (OVER INTERCOM):
This is Captain Johnson.
455
00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:59,146
Uh, I'd like to bet $100
we're not going anywhere.
456
00:18:04,951 --> 00:18:06,453
He's bluffing.
457
00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:08,921
[music playing]
458
00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:22,569
Iced tea, coffee.
459
00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:23,770
I had the coffee.
460
00:18:23,870 --> 00:18:26,406
I don't care.
461
00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:27,740
All right, you
know what you want?
462
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,409
Oh, are there
any specials today?
463
00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:31,478
No.
464
00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:33,513
Well, is there anything
you could recommend?
465
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:35,648
Yeah, hurry.
466
00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:36,916
I guess I'll
have the tuna melt.
467
00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:38,185
Good choice.
468
00:18:38,285 --> 00:18:39,085
Oh, excuse me.
469
00:18:39,186 --> 00:18:39,986
What?
470
00:18:40,086 --> 00:18:41,254
I forgot to order a beverage.
471
00:18:41,354 --> 00:18:42,855
Well, then, you
must be really kicking
472
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:46,826
yourself right about now, huh?
473
00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:48,060
Hi, Bonnie.
474
00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:48,961
Oh, hi, Roseanne.
475
00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:49,862
What are you doing here?
476
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:50,930
I thought you were in Las Vegas.
477
00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:53,166
Well, the flight
got canceled, so we
478
00:18:53,266 --> 00:18:54,667
had to spend the
night in Chicago,
479
00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:56,736
and then it took us half
a day to drive back here.
480
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:04,277
Well, well, well.
481
00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:07,146
Look who came crawling back.
482
00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:08,047
Leon.
483
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,716
Work, Bonnie.
484
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:12,151
So, Roseanne.
485
00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:14,687
How the hell are you?
486
00:19:14,787 --> 00:19:15,955
OK.
487
00:19:16,055 --> 00:19:18,758
This is not easy.
488
00:19:18,858 --> 00:19:20,893
But, uh-- if you don't
give me my job back,
489
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:24,764
my husband's going to
beat the crap out of you.
490
00:19:24,864 --> 00:19:26,566
Roseanne.
491
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:29,135
We both know why you're here.
492
00:19:29,236 --> 00:19:34,374
Now, all you have to do is
say, I want my job back.
493
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:36,776
And I'll give it to you.
494
00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:38,177
Didn't you hire somebody else?
495
00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:39,712
I was going to.
496
00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:42,882
But you're here, begging
for your job, so--
497
00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:43,783
I'm not begging.
498
00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:44,917
Oh, of course not.
499
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:46,018
No, you have your, uh--
500
00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:46,919
dignity.
501
00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:58,064
To recap, I want my job back.
502
00:19:58,164 --> 00:19:58,965
Leon--
503
00:19:59,065 --> 00:19:59,866
Come on.
504
00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:01,234
I want my--
505
00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:03,236
You're such a little
creepy little icky guy.
506
00:20:06,639 --> 00:20:08,875
And?
507
00:20:08,975 --> 00:20:12,945
And, I want my job back.
508
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,447
Fine.
509
00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:17,850
Take this iced
tea to table four.
510
00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:18,751
Hell, no.
511
00:20:18,851 --> 00:20:19,652
I'm on a break.
512
00:20:22,188 --> 00:20:25,992
[music playing]
513
00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:33,333
[MUSIC PLAYING - WAYNE NEWTON,
"DANKE SCHOEN"]
514
00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:39,706
Danke schoen dan- danke schoen.
515
00:20:39,806 --> 00:20:46,579
Thank you for walks
down Lovers' Lane.
516
00:20:46,679 --> 00:20:51,384
I can see hearts
carved on a tree.
517
00:20:51,484 --> 00:20:53,420
So, I said to my
girl, hey, Leon,
518
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,555
if you want me to come back
to work, all's you got to do
519
00:20:55,655 --> 00:20:56,723
is ask.
520
00:20:56,823 --> 00:20:57,857
You really said it?
521
00:20:57,957 --> 00:20:58,758
Yeah.
522
00:20:58,858 --> 00:20:59,959
Did he give you a raise?
523
00:21:00,059 --> 00:21:00,927
$100 an hour.
524
00:21:01,027 --> 00:21:04,196
All right.
525
00:21:04,297 --> 00:21:05,832
Oh, I forgot to tell you.
526
00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:08,435
When I called the hotel to
cancel the reservations,
527
00:21:08,535 --> 00:21:10,337
the guy told me there
was a huge earthquake,
528
00:21:10,437 --> 00:21:13,706
and Las Vegas got
sucked under the ground.
529
00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:15,174
Wow, it's a good
thing we didn't go.
530
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:16,075
You bet.
531
00:21:19,646 --> 00:21:21,814
I've forgotten to tell
you something, though.
532
00:21:21,914 --> 00:21:24,951
You know, while we were gone,
the kids all met really rich
533
00:21:25,051 --> 00:21:27,887
guys, and they all got married.
534
00:21:27,987 --> 00:21:30,022
DJ too?
535
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:31,891
Uh-huh.
536
00:21:31,991 --> 00:21:32,859
Far out.
537
00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:38,598
[MUSIC PLAYING - WAYNE NEWTON,
"DANKE SCHOEN"]
538
00:21:38,698 --> 00:21:43,903
Though we go on our
separate ways, still
539
00:21:44,003 --> 00:21:47,707
the memory stays for always.
540
00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:51,344
My heart says, danke schoen.
541
00:21:51,394 --> 00:21:55,944
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