All language subtitles for The.West.Wing.S04E12.WEBRip.x264-FGT

Previously on The West Wing:

and everyone who works
on the speech writing staff

Don't be ridiculous.
It's a West Wing office.

Everyone who works
in the White House
is going to resent you.

Looks like some of
the junior staffers

may have moved their
bicycles in here
in protest.

Jean Paul,
this is Charlie Young.

Ah, Zoey talks about you
all the time.do you do.

She talks about you
so much

I think sometimes
I want to kill you.

but don't mess me around
on this story, okay?

Three guys out front
were U.S. Army Rangers.

Danny thinks we somehow

got a Gulfstream
to land in Bermuda

assassinated Shareef...

The tI'm absolutely certain
that's what happened.

JOSH:
Three years I've worked
in the Senate

this is my first time
fin the Republican cloakroom.

What do you think?

You guys use
the same decorator we do.

Damn it, Josh.
I decorated the room.

Hey, was Benjamin Harrison
banned from here?

By Senate resolution

'cause he was
lobbying too much.

And Warren
Harding's mistress

was impregnated here.

Prompting another resolution?

No.

Is there any chance
that Nearing is soft?

Is there anything
that makes her vote yea?

No.
You sure?

Yeah, look...

What about Herman Morton?

You'd have to rewrite
the education bill.

It's 50-50, Jane.

Hoynes has a sleeping bag
in there.

We need to,
you and I...

The Senator's voting no.

Which Senator?

The one we work for.

What the hell...?

A Liberty Foundation
poll...

Listen, a Liberty
Foundation poll's

about to come out...

68% say we spend too much
A poon foreign aid.

59% want foreign aid cut.

ThCome on. They're responding
respondto being overtaxed

and then having that money
sent to Burundi

instead of the school
their kid goes to.

Now you're for more
education funding?

That's not the point.

The people it's helping
aren't the ones who are
answering the phones!

Or paying the taxes,
or voting.

The Senator just
reached this conclusion

when the Liberty
Foundation--

and the poll gives him
cover with the New York ,
Times people.w tha

When you say the
New York Times people

you're not talking
about the people who
work there, are you?

No. Look...

You mean
"people who can read."

( buzzer sounding )

It's a quorum call.

I understand what it is.

Come on, Josh.

I think this is crap.

I think your boss has known
about this poll for awhile

and he's embarrassing
the President

at the eleventh hour

We begged you to keeparound
the President out of Colorado.

On the first vote
out of the box.

Bartlet had Colorado
from the convention

and he went there
five times.

President Bartlet.

You're one vote down
on foreign aid.

Will they
postpone again?

They won't do it.

Not after two
continuing resolutions.

This expires at midnight.

I'm sorry, but is that
our problem?

It massively is, yes.

What about Grace Hardin?

Yeah, I thought of her.

Can she say no
to the President?

LARRY:
She will.
She's publicly against it.

I say she's
a Democratd
Local politiin Georgia.

and there's nothing wrong
she owith Georgia

If it's no, it's
that New Egot to be a fast no.

It's not going to be no.

Put the senior senator
from Colorado in the nay column.

Move Grace Hardin to undecided
and start the clock.

I hate that clock.

Excuse me, Josh.

Yeah, you're Bill
Bailey, right?

I'm surprised
Will Bailey. Yeahwe haven't met.

Yeah. You know, you getalked
a pretty good aerobic workoutne.

Uh, well, I'm working
talking to with Toby Ziegler on.
in this buithe Inauguration...

Bill, I know who you are.
What do you need?

and I'm in
a legislative section

talking about
bipartisan cooperation

and because it was
legislative, Toby
wanted you involved.

Boy, did you pick
the wrong day

to write about
bipartisan cooperation.

If there's a
better time...

68% of respondents think

we hand out too much
in foreign aid

59% think
it should be cut.

Were you talking to me
just then?

( laughs )

Read me what you got so far.

"The people,
in their enduring wisdom

"have put in office
a Chief Executive of one party

It's our duty
"ato respect and enact...".

Strike "in their
enduring wisdom."

You think electing
a reactionary Congress

and progressive President
was wise?

The people,
in a fog of uncertainty

unsure of the difference

split tickets
across the country.

Well, I agree, but I think Toby
would say that lacks poetry.

68% say we hand out too much,
59% want to see it cut.

You know, there's plenty of work
I can do in the meantime.

I'll find you later.

Hey, Ted.

Will.

Okay.

Leo's office called
I need Senaover and we're on it.

Good.

Are you going
to try Cantina?

I'm going
to try everybody.

But Cantina's never voted
to send any money anywhere.

I think he's against
airmail stamps.

What about McKenna?

He needs Republican votes
on broadband access.

And you think you're going
to have luck with Grace Hardin?

She's a freshman Democrat.

She can't say no
to the President if he asks her.

Have you seen how foreign aid
polls in Georgia?

There's a hockey coach
who's got a player

who's squandering
his potential.

Coach says, "Are you
ignorant or just apathetic?"

Player says, "I don't know
and I don't care."

Yeah, I've seen how
foreign aid polls
in Georgia.

Gracie might be a
little tough to get
to the phone today.

We've been here before.

Tell me about it.

You have two
different strategies

My job is to executen't take
the plays Leo calls.ll for this.

Were you serious
The rest doesn'tbefore...

about resigning?

Are we looking for Hardin?!

They're on it.

This pile goes
to Personal Correspondence

for special handling.

These go
to Main Correspondence.

So, Charlie, uh...

what you do is you sort the mail
for Zoey's father.

And you don't like me very much
Yeabecause I'm with Zoey now.

Jean Paul, I'm kind of
working here.

Oh, I understand.
Thank you.

And there's a great deal of mail
to sort.

Also classified intelligence
cables to prioritize.

And a meeting to break up
between a president

and a king,
so... Stacy?

That big blue envelope.
Where's it going?Yeah

It was a servicewoman
talking about food stamps.

She was in the service?

You know her?

No. Okay.

No, you know what?
Leave it here.

Let me read it.

Huh...

( clicks tongue )

REPORTER:
Will the White House

try to delay the vote?

C.J.:
Like I said before

If Congress doesn't act,lution
there's no foreign aid budget.

What's the President's reaction
to Mosley saying

we're throwing money at problems
halfway around the world?

The President wishes
the Republican Leader

would throw some money
at problems right here

but doesn't wish to have
the United States retreat

from its role
as a world leader.

Foreign aid's been cut
50% in the last decade.

In percentage
of GNP spent

we are the bottom, dead last.
Mark. rd the

Was it a bad idea
to make the first bill

out of the second term
such a controversial one?

something like that should be
taken into consideration. Steve?

A Democratic senator says
that if this goes down

We're not responding
it'll stall momto a blind quote;
onwe just assume you made it up.

I'm not kidding.
(Thank you.

REPORTERS:
Thank you.

come back to the
office for a second?

Hey, off the record,
what did the President say

about Mosley's "halfway
around the world"?

He said, "Lord God,
what a tool."

You can say several
senior administration
officials sayn officiaI figured

the White House will have
a good memory

when the transportation bill
comes up next year.

You don't mind blind
quotes so much when
they're from you.

No.

Okay. So...

I'll walk your threat
around for you, but...

The pilot on pilot.
YesShareef's Gulfstream?

What do you think it is
I'm going to say?

His name was Jamil Bari

and the first thing
you want to do is

you want to find out
if Jamil Bari

had any history
of pilot error

to see if that may have
contributed to the crash.

So my new assistant, Maisy

she found out
that Jamil Bari

got a certificate
of qualification

on the Gulfstream in 1994.

Was that it?

been able
And sooner of later,ingecking
you'll find him.them all.aven't

I got to tell youSure.
your tie goes with your shirt
and your jacket...

You're dating a college
graduate, aren't you?

Maisy ain't never gonna
find him, C.J.

Jamil Bari is an invented
identity for someone.

It has to be.

For this thing to have worked

the pilot had to be
one of our guys.

Yeah, I just meant
it was a nice tie.

I'll be around all
day for the vote.

Okay.

What's up there, Gail.

Somebody's talking
to the Dirksen office?

Campaign office
Thesays she's at her
at the cdistrict office.

That's where
they say she is.
Her district office
And the district office?

Says she's on her way
back here for the vote.

It's a commercial flight?

An hour and a half,
we can't find a U.S. Senator.

She doesn't want the call.
No kidding.

When she lands, says she's on
she'll disappear till the vote.

Donna, your job
is to take this

find her and stick
it in her hand.

Make big plays today.

Donna, Delta
Flight 15

lands at National in 35 minutes.

We live in an interdependent
world and we should act like it.

We live in a global community
and we should sustain it

we should cross borders.

We should cross borders to build
sustainable democracy

that can banish privation
and fear.

And we should cross borders
to bring food and medicine

and roads and schools
and teachers

to parts of the world forgotten
by all but the warlords.

We're going to pass
this Foreign Ops bill.

( applause )
This should be a century of hope
and prosperity everywhere.

And America is going to lead
the world and not just bully it.

Thank you.

( applause )

What the hell
is going on?

That was great, Dad.

Hey, thanks,
Peach Patch.

What the hell
is going on?

Hardin is a yes
if we can get her
on the phone.

Which is why we can't
get her on the phone?

She's been a little slippery,
but this is where Josh eats.

We have many, many backup
plans in the works?

and they're developing
and executing rapid-le
response backup plans?

Yeah, okay. Toby...

we should probably
have a backup plan.
Oh, my God.

A split second of humor
injected in the middle
of a stressful day, sir

sounds to me like
we're talking about
the act of a friend.

Please, my daughter's
dating a kid

I have only so much RAMg
to give over to-- C.J.!

Yes, sir.
I'm sorry, but once again,
there's a cow?

A photo op with a cow.

Yeah, I Heifer International,
It was..it's called.

They give milking cows
to poor families

in developing nations.
And that's great.

But a picture of me
and a cow...

I mean, you're okay
with that art?

It's an organization
certainly worthy of...
Why did you agree to it
Abbey set it up?ce?oncerns, sir.

I'll figure out a way to
make the picture work, sir.

Now turn around casually
and tell meith that.

if Le Viscount de Valvert
has got his hands

anywhere near anyone
who's related to me.

That is a good-
looking young man.

I Yeah, I think you'd respond
wheif I stopped feeding you.

Ignore him.

Oh, yes, I do.

This envelope that interests
you, it was what?

A woman on a rope
What envelopline this morning.

She's a private
in the Army

and her family's
on food stamps.

An American soldier
on food stamps?

And you read this letter
as if it was special.ily

Well, she handed
it right to me.

you just throw it on
the pile with the others.

Yes.

So this woman sees you

and she doesn't know thatnext
you're powerless to help. fa

I'm not powerless.

I called the D.O.D.
and asked them

to give special notice
to the letter.

BARTLET:
Charlie.

Yes, sir.

Get me that blue envelope back.

I got to call the D.O.D.
Yeah.

Who writes this
hand-holding crap

for the President anyhow?

Free food and the gentlelady
from Tennessee.

The food wasn't free,
and is the President

really comfortable
defining 50 years

of security policy
as bullying?

I don't think he was talking
about the last half-century

What happened to
politics stopping
neither do yat the water's edge?

Hey, food is apolitical.

And you guys are going
Notto have a bit of a timen't.

Jimmy, you want to tell me
something I don't know?

I got a yea vote for you.

Mine. Can I be in your office
in an hour?

Can you be there
in half an hour?

No.

Okay.

Charlie, they phoned ahead
and said you wanted this back.

Yeah. Thanks.

OPERATOR:
Good afternoon, the Pentagon.

Sergeant Major Moreland, please.

Just a moment.

WOMAN:
Secretary's office.

This is Charlie Young from
the Office of the President.

Please hold.

MAN:
Yes, this is Colonel Wolf.

Oh, no, sir, I was calling for
Sergeant Moreland.

Yes, Mr. Young,
how can I help you?

No, sir, I wouldn't want
to impose.

I play basketball
with Barry Moreland.

Sergeant Moreland works for me,
Mr. Young.

How can I help the President?

Well, no, it's not...

I was handed a letter
On from an enlisted womanng

whose family is eligible
for food stamps

and I was just wondering whose
eyes I could put it in front of.

Mine.
You'll send it today?

Thank you. Yes, sir.

( typing )

Can't find Grace Hardin?

We're at the airport,
we're at Dirksen

we're at her Senate office,
we're at her second office

we're at her
lawyer's office

I'm sorry, I know
you're up against it...
we're aThe legislative section.

I cut "enduring wisdom."

"The American people
have spoken.

"They have chosen
to return to Washington

a President of one party
and a Congress of another."

You say that like
constitutional scholars
made a conscious choice

weighing checks
and balances...

They did make
a conscious choice.

And in their defense,
a lot of people

have a hard time
seeing the difference.

Are any of those people
in this room?

No.

One wants to save
Social Security

the other wants to privatize it.

One wants to make polluters pay
to clean up pollution

the other wants to give tax
breaks so they can pollute more.

One wants to send aid
to countries...

Okay.

Yeah.

Cantina voted no on U.N. dues,
no on Kosovo peacekeeping.

He's just going to burn time.

No kidding.

Toby.

Yeah.

Hoebuck?

He came to me.

He authored a bill to
insert the word "God"

into the Pledge of
Allegiance four more times.

Yeah, well,
once you've broken that dam

what the hell
does it matter?

Here's what I want
from my vote tonight.

Yeah.
$115,000.

Million.

I'm sorry?

You said you
wanted 115,000

you meant million.

I appreciate the Democrats
know how to read my mind

but I meant 115,000.

For what?

I want to pay people to pray.

Out of the federal budget?

And this woman leads a
world-class team of
psychiatrists?

( chuckles ):
Not... not exactly.

But you're
awfully close.

This is
Dr. Gwendolyn Chen.

She's the chief cardiologist
at Duke Medical Center.

Have you ever heard
of intercessory prayer

This is where you draw up
or rema list of sinners...

When people pray for you even
though you're not aware of it.

Yeah, C.J. got spammed with that
a few months ago.

Was that before or after her
agent got shot at a fruit stand?

You really want
to make a rim-shot

out of a Secret Service agent
getting dead?

You really want to refer
to people's prayers as spam?

Dr. Chen,
what are you doing here?

Go ahead, please.

We completed
a double-blind

placebo-controlled
study.

I'd like to point out
that Duke is non-sectarian

and Dr. Chen is agnostic.

Huh.

A thousand heart patients
in the CCU

were split
into two groups.

Half were prayed for
by volunteers

the other half weren't. And?

The patients
that were prayed for--

I know it sounds crazy

but the patients
that were prayed for--

11 percent fewer heart
attacks and strokes

far fewer complications.

Pacific College of Medicine,
Mid-American Heart Institute

there are 12
other studies.

in the New England Journal
Any of Medicine? lished

$115,000
for a wider study.

This one by the NIH.
$115,000 in exchange for
a $17 billion foreign aid bill.

That's all.

Dr. Chen.

It was nice meeting you.

Dr. Chen.

( door closes )

Ellen.

Ellen.

Where's the Senator?
What do you mean?

The district office says
she was on Delta 15.

She wasn't, or two other
flights out of Atlanta.

She came in
this morning.
Yeah?

Yeah, we were cleaning up
some things at the home store.

I'm trying to arrange
a call to Senator Hardin

from the President
of the United States.

I'm not sure where
the Senator is right now

but as soon as
I track her down

we'll set it up.
I appreciate that.

Okay, I'll see you.

Sir, excuse me,
my name is Donna.

And if you look at me,
I think you'll know
I'm not going to steal from you

Can I borrow that envelope
for just one moment?

Yeah, it's nothing...
Thank you.

Jason.
Jason, I'm sorry,
Excuse me, is itI'm new.

This needs to get
to the Senator.

I'm going to Dirksen,
but the Senator's atgoing in
the Women in Media luncheon.

Right. Stupid, stupid.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Well, first of all,
that's not a cow.

It's not.

It's a goat.

Yeah, I may have agreed
to something about a goat.

Did the First Lady get
you drunk
and take you shopping?

Leo...

Yes.

The name of the group

is Heifer International.

I... I was under the impression
it was going to be a cow.

Lending presidential aura
to the photo.

is I think we're going to wait
until after the vote at 10:30

'cause if we don't win
then it'd be a mistake

How big a mistake?
for this pOne from which
to run tomcertainly

my job would have hung
in the balance.

In the balGoats are heifers too?

I don't know.

If the President's
wearing a hat

or that thing's
wearing a Bartlet button

I'm hiding snakes in your car.

Come on, don't say that.
Not even to joke.

You're never going to know
where they are...

...or if you got them all out.
Excuse me.Leo!

Going to lay their eggs
right in the glove compartment.

So, this is going to be
a little while.

Well, uh, Ron doesn't
Cando that well in the cold.

Are you Ron?

I'm Mike.

Of course.

We'll find an empty room
for him.

Uh, I have oats in the truck.

Well, you should bring the oats
'cause the mess closes at 6:00.

Hey.

This was delivered
to my desk

It's a memo your office
ordered from the Pentagon.

I can't order memos
from the Pentagon.

And I don't have an office.
I work in the Oval Office.

Oh, that may have been
the confusion.

This is about...
I just called the deputy's aide

and told him
to look out for...

Who at the Pentagon
thinks I can order a memo?

The Secretary of Defense.

All right...
there's been a mistake.

You haven't shown this
to anyone else, right?

No.
Good.

to the Joint Chiefs and
the Secretary of State.

Uh-huh.

Anyone here?

Uh... yeah, here it is.

POTUS.

V-POTUS...
Yeah.

...Leo McGarry and you.

I see.

What do you think it says?

"Revised D.O.D. Offsets
and Cost Structure Adjustments

for the coming fiscal year."

And every other fiscal year.

The table of contents
is six pages long.

You should read it.

Yeah.

Donnatella, you want me
to fix you up a piece of salmon?

No thanks, Giuseppe.

What about fettuccine?

Beano's using a new cream.

I tried it last week,
the technology conference.

Listen, the dais still exits
through here, right? best.

You can go in there,
you know

and just stand in the back.

She's trying not
to scare somebody.

Would you leave
the child alone?

I'm trying to feed her
some food.

22 years in Washington D.C.

spent all his time
in the kitchen.

He doesn't know how
the place works.

if I beat you about the head
with a sturdy ladle.

Ellen.

Wow.
You know what you are?

You're the little aide
who could.

She wasn't on the dais.
She had to cancel.

I read a letter in her absence.

Ellen, here's the situation:
I've been asked...

( cell phone rings )

Excuse me, it's Josh.

Yeah?

That's great. Who?

All right.

We've got two yes votes,
McMichael and Schapp.

The Senator
can come out of the woods.

I'm coming in.

Here's an Inauguration
Day joke

about the first
Jewish president.

His mother leans over
to someone and says

"You see that guy with
his right hand raised?

His brother's a doctor."

That's good.

You like it?

Yeah, if the President's

been booked into
Ha-Ha's in Cleveland.

I wasn't suggesting
it for the speech.

Then why did you
tell it to me?

That's exactly the reaction
WhI was hoping to elicit.

You've been
a great audience.

Does it bother you

that for all the legitimate
politician bashing

the voters themselves
are no bargain?

No.
Why?

'Cause I make a living
writing jokes.

Not a very good one.

They think you can have
more spending

Well, all it takes
is two politicians cut taxes
running against each other.time

Both of them saying
it ain't going to happen

so here's
what I'm going to do.

Is that all it takes?

Listen, when we were kids
you would never shut up

about the Founders and
the Framers and the Fathers.

This is what they wanted.

I may never have shut up

'cause the Founders were
scared to death of the people.

You know the picture
in the main stairwayem the guns.

of Dad's father
with Churchill?
Yeah.

He said the best argument
against democracy

was five minutes
with the average voter.

Grandpa said that?
'Cause it doesn't
Chsound like Grandpa.

Thank you for the coffee.
Willy?

who obviously became
Don't call mpart of the family.

and the Seaborn posters
They'lland the cold shoulder.

Yeah, I'm all right.
I'm focused.

Hey, cool goat.
When did you get it?

Professional comedian,
Elsie... Aah...!

ELSIE:
I think it's great

that you keep oats
in the office... just in case.

I think when these people
find out that kind of thing...

Could you leave me now,
I'm focused, please.

Sure.

Right.

Well, Donna tried
What's gto flush her out

and she did it well, but...

Ah...
What?
So her staff made
She ntwo phone calls

and Hardin dove back
under the bed.

Well, you were right,
Hoebuck's crazy.

What'd he want?

$115,000.

Million.

No, thousand.

For what?

It doesn't matter.

For what?

An NIH study on remote prayer.

You're kidding.

Actually, he brought
a Duke cardiologist
who ran a double-blind...

$115,000, he votes yes
on Foreign Ops?

Josh, it's the
federal government investing...

I don't care if it's
in communion wafers.

We'll deal with the
the fedother thing tomorrow.

Well, I already
dealt with it today.

Not yet and the clock's running.

I'm going to Leo.

I had asked an assistant I know
to give it special attention.

I don't know
the woman or anything.

It wasn't patronage.

But I was...

you know...

I was showing off
for Zoey.

There are a couple
of thousand

military families
on food stamps.

I can't stand it;
the Pentagon knows it.

Some families
are eligible,
some aren't.

But to change it

they'd have to raise
everyone's pay

which they can't do

and this memo's
a reminder.

And you thought
you were donef-
with turf wars.

Did it cause
any damage?

You decommissioned
two aircraft carriers.

Really?

No.

Thank you, Mr. President.

Boy, Zoey's growing up
nicely, isn't she?ll be outs

Yes, she is.

I'm on your side in this thing,
but just barely--

'Cause he's French
and royal.
just by a littYes, sir.

These are very special,
very limited circumstances

under which we're allies

you and I.
Understood, sir.

You still got it?

Sir?

The letter from the rope line?

Yes, sir.

Put it in my bag tonight.

( knocking )
Yes, sir.

Mr. McGarry, Mr. Ziegler,
Mr. Lyman, Ms. Cregg.t.

It's the Temptations.
I love you guys.

You only think you've
heard everything

but you haven't.

Hit me.

TOBY:
James Hoebuck will
vote yea at 10:30

if we give him
$115,000.

Million?

Thousand. $115,000.

For an RV?
What's he want?

An NIH study
on remote prayer.

I like it.

There should be a button
on my desk

I can press and 49 people
instantly pray for me.

C.J.:
I got remote
prayed for

by 3 million people.
How'd it work out?

they were praying
was going to happen. it wa

Well, that's the problem.

Excuse me.

The Earth is rotating
rapidly on its axis.

Okay, well, good news.

Keep us posted on that.

Is there something I should be
We're doing I'm not doing?, sir.

We should be talking
about Jimmy Hoebuck.

You guys didn't come in here
Ohto tell me something funny?

Three of us did.

You... you are the wild card,
my friend

b...because you will throw out
the baby, the bathwater

and the bubbles
at curtain time if it means...

Excuse me, sir...
Do you think, Mr. President,
Fthe people who get this money

care about an NIH study?

I don't care if they care!
I care!

And oh, by the way, so do you!

$115,000 is what
Commerce spends on Post-its.

( sighs )

Toby?

Threats to civil liberties

only ever come
a few dollars at a time.

It's a medical study.

The Nuclear Test Ban Treaty

doesn't prohibit
radiation therapy.

Sufi Muslims,
Orthodox Jews

Indian shamans--

WellI never knew there wasnown
idata available, but okay.s.

Anything else, sir?

No.

Thank you, Mr. President.

Thank you, sir.

Maxine.

That's you.

I know.

I apologize
for interrupting before.

Oh, I don't care.

But what I was going to say...

I'll toss it all overboard
if it means winning

and I'd ask you to support
and that with evidence.

I'm sorry. I don't know why
I keep doing that.

You're not willing
to toss it overboard to win.

You're willing
to toss it overboard

to avoid disappointing Leo.

You know what the difference is
between you and me?

I want to be the guy.

You want to be the guy
the guy counts on.

We lost.

We know.

We can introduce another
continuing resolution...

90 days.

And work down?

75% of current funding maybe.

If we can get it.

You understand if we introduce
another continuing resolution

about ten Democrats will jump on
as a reason to vote no on this.

Means losing 60-40

instead of 51-49.

When I lose, I don't look

for consolation in the score

and I know for sure you don't.

So it's what
we should do, right?

Yeah.

All right, tough beat.

It's an unbelievably tough beat.

Yes, sir.

Hey, Zoey's growing up
very nicely, isn't she?

Man, I'll say.

You know, I go
for kiss-ass today

and the ball goes in the gutter.

Anything else?

Thank you, Mr. President.

I said the names.

I don't think
it mattered.

She knows how
to count to 51.

It would've loosened
things up for an hour.

I'm sorry.

Shake it off.

And don't listen
to the naysayers.

You've got a big future
as a stalker.

I always felt like
I had the makings.

I just had an
interesting moment.

I just recommended
to the President

that he buy a yea vote
for $115,000

and the Bill of Rights.

Don't you mean
$115 million?

Jimmy Hoebuck wanted
to fund a study

on remote prayer
for $115,000.

Is it me

or is this getting harder?

It's getting harder.

I'd say we're going to make
more enemies in the second term

but I don't know if there's
anybody left on the list.

You took funding from
for remote prayer

to the President?

That's 'cause you don't know
the story of Fishhooks McCarthy.

Is this a real person
or a Donna person?

A corrupt politician
on the Lower East Side

Every morning he stopped
at the St. James Church

on Oliver Street
and said the same prayer--

"O Lord give me
health and strength.

We'll steal the rest."

Not that there needs to be,
but was there a point?

You've got health and strength,
both of which, coincidentally

I prayed for after hot lead
was shot into your body.

Yeah, you're going to need
some kryptonite, by the way.

Okay,
settle down.

So you've got
health and strength.

And we'll steal the rest?

Bet your ass.

All right.

Good work tonight.

Hi.

What's up, Mr. Daley?

Bailey.

Bill Bailey?

So, if we're lucky, foreign
Will aid's going to be funded

for another 90 days
at 75¢ on the dollar.

No one who has ever said
they wanted bipartisanship

has ever meant it.

But the people are speaking.

Because 68% think we give
too much in foreign aid

and 59% think
it should be cut.

You like that stat?

I do.
!Because nine percent
think it's too high

and shouldn't be cut!

could not fully get their
Niarms around the question.

There should be another
box you can check for

"I've utterly no idea
what you're talking about.

Please, God, don't ask
for my input."

Why is foreign aid important?

It fosters democracy.
There you go.

( with British accent ):
Well, well played, young man.

Very good, yes, yes.

Someone said, "The best argument
against democracynged voices.

is five minutes
with the average voter."

"Democracy is the worst
form of government."
Churchill.
See?He als

"Except for all the others."

I'll work with you
on the legislative section..

But after the vote, okay?
We'll get some food.

Yes. Excuse me.

Excuse me.

I believe you put
a goat in my office
and I just want you to know

that I stand here with
full humor and total focus.

You can cover the windows
with "Seaborn formy office
Congress" posters.

You can bring in
101 Dalmatians.

I'm focused on what I'm doing.

Who are you?

I'm Will Bailey.

C.J. Cregg.

I didn't put the goat
in your office.nice to meet you.

Someone else must have.
You didn't?

I put it in the office
that's being used by a new guy

Toby and Josh are trying
to give a hard time to--
Oh, wait...

You understand I'm working on
the Inaugural address, right?

There's bicycles and
How's that ggoats in my office!

All right...

Any care and feeding
I should know about?

The goat has a handler.

I'll get it out...
I'll take my hazing like the
Eton valedictorian that I am.

What's his name, please?
Which one?

The handler.
Mike.

The goat has a name?
Ron.

Thank you.

Where do you learn to run out
the clock like that?

The Senator's voting
her conscience, Donna.

She understands foreign aid.
I've heard her talk about it.

She's supposed to do
what's right.

No, she was elected
and she's supposed to do

Will you take this
and walk it to herhat the people
on the floor?think is right.

That's all you have to do.

PRESIDING OFFICER:
All time has expired.

The yeas and nays
have been ordered.

Win some, you lose some.

Can I tell you something?

Josh has asked me
to work Saturdays

he has me there after 1:00 a.m.
He's asked me to transpose

portions of the federal budget
into base-8

go to North Dakota

and dress as an East German
cocktail waitress.

In five years of working for him

he's never asked me
to hide him from something.

Can I have
my boss's phone back?

Thank you.

You having that?
Yes.

All of it?
Yes!

What about this?
Yes!!

I'm pointing at 23 packets
of soy sauce.

I give them to the homeless.
Oh, that's helpful.

You're going to lose
this one 60-40.
Are you talking through
the whole Danny...

Could you even have
Did I ruinthis much sensitivity?

No.
Why?

The Senate blew it.
You did.ou blew it.

We did everything
but pass a hat.

Nobody wants to put money
in a hat in Botswana

when you got hats
that need filling here.

You can't make this
about charity.

It's about self-interest.

We cut farm assistance
in Colombia.

Every single crop we developed
was replaced with cocaine.

We cut aid for primary education
in Northwest Pakistan and Egypt

Why weren't you making a case
the the Republican senators

are bad on drugs
and bad on national security?

Why are Democrats
always so bumfuzzled?

By the way,
65 more flight schools today.

Maisy hasn't found your guy.

Don't worry,
there are thousands more.

You know something there,
General Cho?

If you had a story,
you'd write it.

If you don't have one,
shut up.

We just lost a vote.

We're not bumfuzzled.

Now, if you'll excuse me...

I have to cancel
a photo op with a goat.

Tough beat, everybody.

Thanks for the work.

Next time we let Josh
do it the way he wants.

Sir, have you met...

Bill Haley.

Will Bailey.

Okay.

Good evening, Mr. President.

When's this thing with the cow?

It's a goat now.

Okay.

We'll cancel it.

You think?
A milking goat?

It's going to seem like
a parody of foreign aid.

I don't know.

C.J. wants to cancel
I don't the goat picture.

Half the world's people

live on less than
two dollars a day

130 million will never step
inside a school house

ingredients for bombs can be
purchased at hardware stores

and we've just given
the Third World

just what the doctor ordered:

rollbacks.

Heifer International...

they give free cows and goats
to people who need milk?

Well, then, I don't think we're
in any position to be snotty.

Carol?
Let's do it...
Let's do They're right out here.

So, I think this will work.

"Well, you're impoverished
and while we don't care

"we don't want you
to go away empty-handed

"so we offer this goat, Ron

to give you milk."

Do male goats give milk?

No. No, of course they don't.

So, we offer you this thing
that'll just gnaw on your stuff.

PRESIDENT:
I'm not standing
in this picture alone.

This was a total teamfailure.

but I want my Chief of Staff
and my Chief Political Advisor

standing near the goat.

Let's go!

TOBY:
Hang on a second.

May I?

Thank you.

Now we're ready.

Let's go.

Set that clock for 90 days.