All language subtitles for The.West.Wing.S04E10.WEBRip.x264-FGT

Previously,
on The West Wing...
Isn't this a strange time

to be moving into
your office?

I'm the 2:00 a.m.
watch commander

in the Situation Room tonight.

Why didn't you tell
me you worked at
the White House?

The RNC exits,
a dead candidate

a rainstorm...?

I'm at the Hyatt
in Newport Beach

with the Horton Wilde campaign

and the place is going
absolutely berserk.

Bonnie, Ginger

get me Will Bailey.

Get me Kay Wilde
very quickly, please.

Good evening, sir.
You're the nominee.

There's no nominee.

Everyone's on
the ballot.

Is there
another Democrat?
No.

You're the nominee.

C.J.:
Good morning, sir.
What's doing?

You're going to hear
a story this morning.

Uh-huh. Am I a character
in this story?

Well, I suppose
that's up to you.

A navy pilot, Lieutenant
Commander Vickie Hilton

has been taken under arrest
by the military police

as being charged
by the judge advocate

with having an affair
with a married officer

an inferior officer,
a lieutenant-jg.

I don't see
being a character.

Well, heads up anyway.
Thank you.

LEO:
Good morning, sir.
Hey.

How'd it go?
Could have gone better.

I didn't think adultery
was against the uniform code.

You're talking
about Vickie Hilton?

Yeah. It's against
military law?

No. They don't like
fraternization

but her thing
isn't the affair

it's failure
to follow an order.

They told her to stop?

Yeah.
What can she get?

She could go to
jail for two years.

For failure
to follow an order?

Sure.
We should have that here.

MAN:
Good morning, Mr. President.

Good morning, Mr. Secretary,
ladies and gentlemen

and welcome

to the final
cabinet meeting

of Bartlet One.

I don't know if this is true

but a presidential historian
told me

that this was the most stable
cabinet since Hoover's.

Which is nice,
but you got to think

how many other jobs
were really available.

( laughter )

But here are facts:

You created
over nine million new jobs

and the highest
home ownership rate on record.

More than 150
new trade agreements.

You created the largest
expansion of college aid

since the G.I. Bill.

Cleaned up
over 500 toxic waste dumps.

And you did it all
while eliminating

16,000 pages
of Federal regulations.

Not bad for government work.
Thank you.

I'll add my thanks

and I'll need your letters
of resignation by 7:00.

of Shehab missile tests.
Is the White House concerned?

We are. I think all
the Bahrain signatories are

and we're expressing
that concern

through the appropriate
multilateral channels. John.

Can you give
us a preview

of the President's
address at APEC?

I can tell you

that he's been working out
some new material

and that it has absolutely
been destroying on the campuses.

Of course, Showtime
will have their cameras at APEC

to record the whole thing for
the President's one-hour special

called Bartlett:
In the Thick of It.

So no.
No.

I'll finish with
a little housekeeping

for those who don't know.

In a two-term presidency

as a matter of courtesy,
the President's cabinet resigns

without being asked,
giving the President the option

of hiring them or not
rather than firing them or not.

Those resignations
will be submitted today.

That's all. Thanks.

MITCH:
C.J.?
Yeah?

Can we talk?

Sure. About what?
About what?

What's wrong?
The seats.

What happened?

Sorry, I forgot.

I moved the news magazines
to the fourth row.

Yeah, I noticed. Why?
It isn't a thing, Mitch.

There are cameras in here
now that are framing

part of the gallery
and not just the podium

and the news magazines
aren't here every day

so the camera's getting
a couple of empty seats.

We're in the front row.
Yeah, but we're safe

after row three, so I
put you guys on four.

You can't just do this.
It's a slap in the face.

Well, I certainly didn't mean it
as one.
It is.

Mitch, I put you in the very
first row I don't care about.

Of the things I don't care
about, I put you right up front.

I'll see you later.

You should amend that
in a statement

to say that the resignations
are effective

whenever they're effective.

I did.
Okay.

He's going to remember
he doesn't say a word
about labor

without running it
past the local AFL?
Yeah.

Is he?
Yeah.

And he's got to go
door-to-door.

He hasn't lived there
since he was 18.
He knows.

Speaking of which,
high school snapshots.
He knows.

You're taking
the Lakers banner.

Yeah.

'Cause there's a shortage of
them in Southern California?

Leave it,
and leave the stapler.

It's a West Wing office.

Someone's going to use it
for 90 days.

And they might need a stapler.

It's ours.

Right.

You've logged a lot of miles
in the last couple of weeks.

Well, I had to go get nominated
and then set up the office

and then meet every member of
the California Democratic Party.

Listen, there's no way I'm going
to be able to help with this.

Which is worse for me
than it is for you

but there's never going
to be the time.

I wasn't counting on it.

Are you going
to use Michael?
From the staff?

Yeah.
Michael's
who you use

when you need brief remarks

to whoever wrote the check
we couldn't turn down.

What about Jerry?
Jerry's who you use

when you can't get Michael.

There's no one on the
speech writing staff

who can do this.
It's okay.

That's a pretty big job
to do by yourself.

( chuckles softly )

You're going to remember
the local AFL?

Yeah.
You got to go
door-to-door.

I know.

You were 18
when you lived there.

You want a hug?

Put the banner back.

See you next week.

There are some new people.

Cabinet Affairs
installed some temps

so you'd have extra staff
during the vetting period.

Which is good.
But?

I'm not one to give
fashion advice...
No, you're not.

But one of them...
Sorry.

one of them
is wearing a...

a, uh... a Star Trek pin.

Is today a special Star Trek
holiday or something?

How the hell
would I know?

Okay, well, then
would you find out?

And if it's not, you know

people walk through here

and it's not the most
confidence-inspiring sight

to see in a White
House employee

so if you could
ask her to...

It's a her?

Yeah. I have my briefing memo?

Thank you.

Hang on, I'm doing
you a favor

now you have
to do me one.

You're... almost there,
but you're not quite getting it.

When it's something
you're paid to do,
that's not a favor.

What do you got?

Nancy McNally has
a new military aide
named Jack Reese

and we've talked a few times

and I want you to ask him
if he likes me.

Wow, I'm definitely
not going to do that.

How many girls have
I gotten for you?

Aren't these basically women
who've come up to you

and said,
"Is that Josh Lyman?"
Yes.

And you've said...?
Yes every time.

Well, I'll properly I.D.
you for him, no problem.

Oh, come on.
Just a little bit.

All you have to do
is introduce yourself

and remind him in some
way that I work for you

and see if he
says anything.

I can't, Potsie.

Ralph and I are double-dating
with the Dubrusky twins.

I am asking for
something very little

and you know, you know
how lame I am with this.

That's true.

That was for
the fashion.
Yes.

You'll do it?

Hey, what are you doing here?

Hey. She's got
an appointment with you

right after senior staff.

We're running about
15 minutes behind.

At 10:00?
That's, like, a half hour ahead.

I know.
We're very proud.

What's the meeting about?

You'll do it?
Yes.

I know what the
meeting's about.

It's about Vickie Hilton.

And I'm here
in no official capacity

and I'm wielding nothing

but the League
of Professional Women

is going to represent her,
and they asked me

if I could help get them time
with the President.

There's no way the
White House is going
to get involved in it.

It's a military thing.
Civilians run the military.

Not only is it okay
for you to get involved

you're supposed to.
It's the law.

And the commander
in chief chooses not to
overrule his commanders.

He chooses to do that without
hearing informed argument?

Yes, 'cause then,
when he says no

I got a problem with women.

Except that my
friends and I

can give him a problem
with women right now.

What happened to
"I came wielding nothing"?

I forgot that women
just got him reelected.

Evidently, you did, too.

( mocking ):
"Evidently, you did, too."

I met her last night.
This is a special girl.

I want to speak up for her.

All right,
we'll talk in 15 minutes.

"All right,
we'll talk in 15 minutes."

Shut up.

You shut up.

Oh, God help me some days.

( Josh clears throat )

( applause )

You really don't have
to do that anymore.

Hey.

Hey. Where you going?

Where'd you finally
settle on?

Nice.

Excellent!

I like to stay
at the Hotel Beau Rivage

but I think that's

going to be a little
pricey for you.

Actually, I'm going

to stay at the Villa
Ephrussi de Rothchild

at Sait-Jean-Cap-Ferrat.

It's not a hotel, I guess,
quite so much

as it's... well, a castle.

Yeah. This is family connection?

Yeah.

All of Europe's

a family connection
for you, isn't it?

Parts of Asia.

When's the plane leave?

Three hours.
So I'm out of here.

You're going to remember

you still have to put
the County Clerk in the boat

You're going to remember
Nina Mercer

and you're going
to remember light rail.

Listen, I wouldn't ask you

to postpone your vacation
if it wasn't important.

When did you ask me
to postpone my vacation?

Well, I'm obviously
about to right now.

Okay, well, then,
your shoelaces are untied

and I'm hauling ass.

Toby Ziegler
needs your help

on a speech he's writing
for the President.

You have an OEOB full
of speechwriters.

Not everybody over
there does this kind
of speech writing.

And at this particular moment,
not anybody over there

does this kind
of speech writing.

You're kidding.
No.

Maybe you want to do
something about that.

I would, Will,
but I don't work there

at the moment.

I won. I'm sorry.

How many times do I have
to say I'm sorry?

Well, you're not done yet.

Look, it would
be a privilege

to help write for the President

it would be the thrill
of a lifetime

but I'm just too tired
to do it well.

This was a really
hard campaign.

A guy died from it.

This campaign
has fatalities.

When is the President
giving his speech?

January 20.

The President is giving
two speeches on the 20th?

No, just the Inauguration.

Sure. And Toby wants me?

Yeah, 'cause
of the Tillman speech.

You're flying in
that direction anyway

thought you could
meet in Washington

and meet with Toby.

Yeah.

I'll set up
the appointment.

I'll change my flight.

Give this to Toby Ziegler
when you get there, okay?

Yeah.

The latest talks,
would you say they signal

a shift by the White House

away from containing
the greenhouse gases?

No, I definitely wouldn't.

The President's fully
committed to Kyoto

and thinks it's time
we began adapting

to the impact of greenhouse
gases, is all. Mark?

Commander Vickie Hilton
is quoted...

I'm just going
to stop you there

and direct you to
the Pentagon. Mitch.

C.J., I wanted to ask you about
your reshuffling of the seats.

Well, we already discussed that

but if you want to talk
more in my office...

You made a unilateral decision.

Well, it's my house, Mitch.
But, as matter of fact

I consulted with the White House
Correspondent's Association.

I think you changed
the seating

because you don't like
our coverage.

Or your attitude. But that's
not why I changed the seating.

Thank you.
Thank you, C.J.

Thank you, C.J.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay, I'm going to see
Fitzwallace.

Yeah.

Hey, I see she's not wearing
the pin anymore. Thanks.

She's kind of worked
up about it.

Why?

I don't know.

All right. Hang on.

Hi. I'm Josh Lyman.

Janice Trumbull.

Yeah, the reason why I wanted
you to take off the pin

is just around the White House,
you understand...

I'm appealing your request
to Stacy.

I'm sorry?

My supervisor is Stacy.

Right, except Stacy
works for me.

Okay, well, you got the cards

but Star Trek and the entire
Starfleet series

is about honor and loyalty
and civic duty, and the fact

that you don't think
those are characteristics

that should be
displayed inside

the White House is sad.

But I wouldn't expect you

to understand
those kinds of things.

Anything else?

No.

You see what I mean?

Shh, shh, shh.

What?

She is... well, one
of the special people.

Yeah.

She's taken off the pin.

We're going to let it be.

I'm assuming you haven't
talked to him yet?

That's right.

What do you think about
this Vickie Hilton problem?

I think you know
what I think.

No, I mean about
whether it's right

for the White House
to be involved.

That's a harder question.

I've been thinking
about it and...

You've got to go faster
next time.

I'm here already.

Yeah.

Mr. Chairman, thank you.

Hope you haven't
been waiting.

No, I never get to read
the sports section anymore.

I think I know
what this is about.

Yeah, there's
going to be

pressure from women
for the President to intercede

and I was hoping we could
find a way to intercede

without involving the President.

These things are handled
at the Commander's level

in the navy,
and I wouldn't step in

unless it's the President's
pleasure to order me.

I understand.

I guess also, the thing is

that she isn't just any pilot.

She's like Jackie Robinson.

She's busted a lot of barriers.

She's the first woman
at Miramar

first woman to fly
the F-14 Tomcat

she teaches on an F-14.

I guess, at this point

I don't have
to give you a resume.

No, but could you tell me more
about Jackie Robinson

and breaking barriers?

( chuckles )

Just out of curiosity

if you could step in,
would you save her?

No. I'd discharge her,
dishonorably

and I'm sure
that's what's going to happen.

I have to tell you

it just doesn't seem
right to me.

I know it doesn't.

Admiral, you know

I have all the respect
in the world for you, right?

Yes.
And if I didn't

I'd respect the uniform, the
rank, and the position anyway.

What is it, son?

I feel like I have to go to Leo.

Good.

That's the way
it's supposed to work.

( heavy sigh )

( knocking )

Yeah.

Excuse me.

They told me to
knock on the door.

I'm Will Bailey.

Oh, we have an appointment,
right?

Yeah.
Come on in.

Sit down.

Thanks.

Will Bailey.

Yes.

So, you want a job
on the speech writing staff.

I'm sorry?

You want a job

on the speech writing staff.

No.

I'm sorry?

I don't want a job
on the speech writing staff.

You're Will Bailey.

Yes.

Sam told me you wanted
to see me

about a job on
the speech writing staff.

Well, he told me
that you wanted help
with the Inauguration.

He did?

Yeah.

Sam's doing
a little matchmaking.

I'm fine

doing this by myself.

That's it?

Yeah.

Okay.

Your garbage can is on fire.

Yeah, it's not personal

a speech like this.

Obviously, it takes
a certain amount

of experience and, uh...

...and uh, a certain something.

Just out of curiosity

how do you know
I don't have the something?

'Cause you don't have
the experience.

Okay.

Well, it was nice
meeting you.

You, too.

For the record...

I was President
of Cambridge Union

on a Marshall Scholarship,
and I've written

for three congressional races
and a governor.

I read the Stanford Club speech.

I thought it was good.

Not as good

as other people thought it was.

Yeah?

Call and response isn't going
to work

in front of a Joint Session.

You're alliteration happy:

"Guardians of gridlock,
protectors of privilege."

I needed an avalanche
of Advil.

And when you use
pop culture references

your speech has a shelf life
of 12 minutes.

You don't mind constructive
criticism, do you?

No, sir.

Anyway, thanks for coming in.

I told Sam I can do this
by myself.

Well, maybe he thought
that your speeches

were obscurantist policy tracts
lost in a cul-de-sac

of their own internal
self-righteousness

and groaning from the weight
of statistics.

I'm just speculating.

I can't say for sure.

( tapping finger on desk )

A 500-word stanza
on American leadership

in a globally interdependent age

that moves beyond triumphalism
by this time tomorrow.

If it's 501,
don't show it to me.

( heavy sigh )

You wanted to see me?

I need a favor: the President's
gonna be getting a phone call

and I don't want
him to take it

and I don't want
him to know why.

The first part is okay

the second part
gets ethically tricky.

The U.N. has had a decades-old
conflict with New York City.

Foreign diplomats
will park anywhere they want

and they get tickets.

And?

Don't pay them.

And that's where
our action begins

'cause every once
in a while

the city goes on a jihad

and starts towing all their cars
and that's just happened.

So someone's complaining
to the President?

Yes.
Who?

The Secretary-General.

You want me to have
the President dodge a call

from the U.N. Secretary-General
and not know why?

Yeah. Could you
swing that?

If I could, that would be
troubling, wouldn't it?

I've got to keep
the knucklehead stuff

off his desk,
and this is worse.

This is actually
hot-button knucklehead.

This could be a thing.

If he knows why
the Secretary's calling

he's gonna lose it
and he's gonna be in it.

Yes, sir.

What do you think
about Vickie Hilton?

I don't think you can
reasonably ask someone

to control who they
fall in love with.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hey.
Hey.

You wanted to see me?

I did. Because I read
a set of brief remarks

for the Better
Housing Conferences.

Is that something
you usually read?

No.
Why were you reading it?

Because it's not
something I usually read.

I noticed that the
writing has a quality

you don't usually find
in remarks of this nature.

Usually it's written by one
of the guys in the shop.

We're a little
shorthanded over there.

I did it myself.

Well, instead of FHA
insured home loans

you wrote FEMA
insured home loans.

I meant FHA.

Yeah, 'cause FEMA
doesn't insure home loans.

They don't insure anything.

They're the people who
come in after a tornado.

I know that.

What do you want to do with
Sam gone for three months?

We talked about this.
As long as you still
know what you're doing.

The adjustment period with me
for a new person...

You adjusted to Sam.

Maybe, and if I did,
it was like a week ago.

Still, you could try to...

Who? Who would you get?

There are people out there.

There are not people who...

You're like the guys who say

"Are you telling me
you could only find

"one African-American
speechwriter good enough

to work at the White House?"

I'm amazed I found that many.

"Good enough to work at the
White House" is a pretty small

population to begin with.

And guys who can write
entire sections of
a State of the Union?

I'd be as surprised if there
were as many as nine of us.

Sam was one of them.

Okay. What do you think

about Vickie Hilton?

I think we invested
time and money

teaching her how
to fly a warplane

which it turns out
she does very well

and there aren't
that many who do.

So, I'm going to go ahead
and pick national security

over caring who
she sleeps with.

Josh talked to me today.

It can't go in
the Oval Office.

No, it can't.
It can't.

Except I have
a woman problem.

Is Jordon pestering you?

'Cause I'm getting it from
Andy on this day and night.

No, Toby, I meant
a woman's issue.

The constituency of women.

Yeah.

Though Jordy hasn't shut up
about Vickie Hilton.

This is what I'm saying.

All right.
Thank you.

Thanks.

PRESIDENT:
Okay, thank you.

What the hell's going
on with the seats in
the briefing room?

I wouldn't worry about it,
Mr. President.

I'm not worried about it,
but I just read about it.

The news magazines
aren't here every day

and the empty seats
don't look good on camera

so I moved them
to the fourth row.

I think you shouldn't
comment on it.

I'll comment on it:
I'll say sit your ass

where you're told
and get back to work.

Yeah, and I don't think
you should do that.

Mr. President?
Yeah.

The Secretary-General.

Thanks.
No.

I'm sorry?

Yes, sir, you can't
take that call yet.

I'm sorry. Toby wanted you
to see a new memo on Rwanda

before you spoke to
the Secretary-General

and I forgot to tell
the switchboard.

Okay, we'll have to return.
Thank you, sir.

Anyway, you're going
to take care of it?

I'm going to have
a camera position moved.

Well, I'm sorry to hear
you're caving, but whatever.

Yeah, I'm not caving, sir.

Well, okay,
but still, whatever.

Excuse me, Mr. President.
Come on in.

You'd asked
for the CEC briefing.

Thanks. This is Jack Reese.

He's working for Nancy.

This is Josh Lyman
and C.J. Cregg.

Commander.

How are you?

They're talking about a force
level data-fusion network.

Yes, sir.

Nancy thinks France
will come around

after the North
Sea exercise.

She does, sir, yes.
You agree?

I do, sir.

Okay.

Thanks very much,
everybody.

ALL:
Thank you, Mr. President.

( sighs )

Thank you.

JOSH:
Commander?

Yeah.

Hi, I'm Josh Lyman.
We just met in there.

Yeah.

This conversation you
and I are having right now

it was not my idea to have it.

This must be
distinctly understood.

Is anything wrong?

You've met my assistant Donna.

Yeah, she was standing
outside when I went to vote.

She wanted to trade
with a Ritchie voter

'cause she filled
out her ballot wrong.

I thought it was...
kind of cool.

Well, if you liked that,
she nearly got arrested once

when she got her arm
stuck in a mailbox

trying to retrieve a letter
she wrote to Ilie Nastase.

She once left her underpants
at an art opening

and, after a summit
in Belarus

she tried to smuggle
11 scented Minsk candles

into an overnight bag.

They evacuated the terminal.

Really?

Yeah.

Okay.

Was there something
I can do for you?

No.

Okay, good meeting you.

You, too.

DONNA:
Josh.

Perfect timing.

Why?

I just talked to him.

Jack?
Yeah.

And?

I think I did well.
I think I fanned the flame.

Does he want to go out?
I think he does.

What did he say?

He said he thought
it was cool

that you were looking
for someone to trade votes.

And what did you say?

I told him
there are plenty more

where that came from.

What do you mean?

I told him
about Ilie Nastase.

Why?

What do you mean?

Why did you
tell him that?

I thought it went with
the vote swapping theme.

No, it goes
with the crazy theme.

What else did you tell him?

The scented
Minsk candles.

Josh...
These are endearing stories.

If you know me, if you know me
well, if you already like me

these are not stories,
for instance

I would've told you when I
was trying to get the job.

When you were trying
to get the job

you were pretending that
you'd already gotten the job

so it's not like your
underwear at an art gallery

was gonna change my mind.

You told him about
the underwear?!

Again, endearing.

Karen Cahill
had me flummoxed.

Did you tell him
I was flummoxed?

I think the underwear
on the floor speaks for itself.

You have to go back.
Why?

'Cause he's gonna
think I'm flaky.

Maybe, but he's
not gonna care.

Why?
Guys will go out with anybody.

That hasn't been my experience.

Go back.
I'm not gonna...

I have done many
humiliating
things for you.

Okay, but I'm gonna
work for a while

on making people's lives better.

How long's that
gonna ta... take?

( sighs )

You're gonna talk
to Berryhill?

Yes, sir.

He wants to
feel loved.
Yes.

You'll make
him feel loved.

I want him on
the Cabinet.

Yeah, he's gonna feel
all kinds of love.

Thank you.

Josh saw me yesterday
about Vickie Hilton.

You think we should
get involved?

No, but you're gonna have
problems with the women.

Abbey and the girls?
No.

Women?
Yes.

'Cause I've got to tell you
I've been hearing it

from Abbey and the girls.

I'm sure.
What do you think?

It stays out of
the Oval Office.

No, I meant
about Vickie Hilton.

She disobeyed an order.

You can't do that.

Sure.

Yes. But isn't there
some question

as to whether it's practical

to give that order
in the first place?

You want pilots overruling
their superiors with regard

to what's practical
and what's not?

No, I'm just saying there
are a few sides to this.

That's for sure, and
you've just heard mine.

But we'll hear no others

because we don't want it
in the Oval Office.

Right.

Okay. Anything else?

Thank you, Mr. President.

( door shuts )

Mitch...

Good morning.

I hope you
weren't waiting.

Oh, just a minute.

Well, you win, I lose.

I don't want this to be a story.

I want the President
to be able to function.

I'm moving the news magazines
back up front

and I apologize.

I appreciate that.

When you're not here,
there'll be a sign on your chair

with your name and the name
of your publication.

I've given C-SPAN permission
for a second camera position

that's on your seat

so the broadcast director
can go there

at his or her discretion.

Are you kidding about this?
No.

If you're not here,
you better get a seat filler

and they better be prepared

'cause they're going
to be called on

for the honor of
the first question.

This should be about other
people, don't you think?

As a matter of fact, I do.

I know.

Happy Thanksgiving, Mitch.

Happy Thanksgiving.

By the way, Danny Concannon

won a Pulitzer Prize
from the fourth row.

Danny's more talented than I am.

See you, Mitch.

JACK:
Come in.

Hey, Josh.

I'm really sorry
to bother you.

No. I'm just working.

What are you working on?

A memo for the C.O. at a radar
station in the Arctic Circle.

You ever been there?

Yeah.

What's it like?

Well, small-town feel.

Nicest people you'll ever meet

and a terrific symphony

if you like classical
music with

a pops orchestra
on Sunday nights.

Really?

No. There's no symphony
or people.

Right. On the other hand

Sunday night
does last six months.

Listen, it occurs to me
that, uh...

you know,
I mentioned Donna before

and it occurs to me
that I told you

that I named some things
that tickled me.

I... I don't know.

I certainly wouldn't want to
leave you with the impression

that she was...
you know...

Anyway,
if you wanted to ask her out

she'd probably say yes.

( sighs )

Hey, Josh, uh...

I'm new here
and I want to do well

and, uh, I don't want
to get in between anything.

"In between anything"?

( sighs )

I have an aide who, in my life

I haven't talked about as much
as you've talked about Donna

in our entire relationship,
yours and mine

which a cumulative total
of seven minutes old.

No, no, no.

You sure?
Sure. Tell me

your aide's name.
I'll ask her out.
We'll double.

Chief Petty Officer
Harold Wendell.

I got the fuzzy end
of that lollipop.

I don't know.
Wendell's not "cute" cute

but he's so funny.

So, that's it.

We're done talking about Donna.

Whose full name
is Donnatella, by the way.

Mom's Italian...

Dad's Irish.

Okay. Thanks.

Are we to live
with the assumption

that there are no men
in the services

who've committed adultery?

I don't know what's worse:

Being stupid
or pretending to be stupid.

Tell him that.

Yes, sir.

No, I'm going to do it.

Eisenhower and Kay
Summersby, a subordinate.

Hammond with the wives
of two junior officers.

So, G.I. Jane
gets a court-martial?

G.I. Joe gets a short film
on hygiene?

That is all I have
to say to you.

Feel better, sir?

I forgot to tell
him something else.

The Uniform Code of Military
Justice, Article 134

which exists to ensure

that soldiers will risk
their life for each other.

I think you'll agree
that, without that

there isn't much point

in having Articles
one through 133.

Nobody ordered Eisenhower
to stop seeing Summersby.

That's right.

Because men don't give
that order to other men.

Excuse me, but
did you not fire

our ambassador to somewhere
in South America--

I can't remember--

'cause he was messing
around with...

The daughter
of the president

of Brazil, which presented
a political problem for me.

Also, I didn't fire him.

I asked him to resign.

And I set him up
in the private sector.

And if you think
the difference is semantics

look up dishonorable discharge
in there.

Look up Fort Leavenworth.

Sir, it's
the Secretary-General again.
Yeah.

No, you can't take that, sir.

I read the memo on Rwanda.

Average rainfall nine inches?

That's the memo
Toby wanted me to read?

On short notice.
Yes, sir.

I told him to pass-
block on the call.

Why?

Parking tickets.

Now, please, don't
leap into it.

Don't...

There are big signs
you can't park there!

They should get towed!

I hope they get
towed to Queens

and the Triboro is closed

and there's a big
crafts show at Shea

a flea market
or a tractor show!

Well, that was probably
his secretary.

Damn it!

You can bet she'll be parking it
in a garage, though.

Do you really think
that Vickie Hilton

is unable to distinguish
between this order

and a combat order?

This was a combat order.
They're all combat orders.

When you order a guy
to go fight

the guy can't think it's 'cause
your sleeping with his wife.

You're right.

That's... That's an unusual
phrase for you, sir.

Did you just learn it?

Well, you didn't let me finish.

I had a hunch.

I may also be right.

We get five more people
in here

I think we're going to have
eight opinions.

That's right.
So, let's.

It's Pentagon.

And two elections in a row

people said they wanted me
to run that.

There are issues of chain of
command and command influence.

Right now, I'm not talking
about overruling anyone

or pardoning anyone.

Right now, I'm just talking
about having people over

and asking questions.

I like basketball,
but I can't play.

I don't know why.

I played in prep school
and I liked being on the team

but I didn't want the ball

and the coach said, "Jeb,
winners always want the ball."

I said, "Coach, winners
are also better than I am."

He said, "Son, to be a winner

you've got to think
like a winner."

I said,
"Coach, to be a winner

you've also got to be
better than I am."

Anyway, he was right.

Winners want the ball.

I don't think
I ever want to hear

it's too sticky
for the Oval Office.

Except for parking tickets

you cheap-ass diplomats!

Read that whole memo
on Rwanda, by the way.

What are you smiling at?

Nothing.

Are we together on this?

Do we have resolve?

We've got four years,
no election

and a Republican Congress
that hates me

and actually hates you more.

You ready to saddle up?

Well, I serve
at the President's pleasure...

and it's kind of nice for me to.

All right, good then.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Hey.

I think he's
going to call you.

He already did.

Thank you, thank you.

He asked me
to have a drink tonight

and I'd really love
to go home

and shower and change.

The two CBO reports
are right on your desk

as is the East Asia paper.

Your call sheet is clear.

If there's anything else, I'm
happy to come in early tomorrow.

Do you think I could go?

What time is it?
Quarter to 8:00.

Sure.
Thanks.

I really like him.

Have a good time.

Those are good stories
about you, though.

Those stories would
make me like you.

You like everybody.

Tomorrow's Thanksgiving.
Yeah.

I meant, you won't be
coming in early tomorrow.

You won't be
coming in at all.

Is there anything you need?

No, I'm just saying...

Okay.

Happy Thanksgiving.

You, too.

JANICE:
I'm not obsessed,
you know.

I'm sorry?

I'm not obsessed.

I'm just a fan and I care.

What's your name again?

Janice.

I'm a fan.

I'm a sports fan,
I'm a music fan

and I'm a Star Trek fan.

All of them.

But here's what I don't do.

Tell me if any of this
sounds familiar:

Let's list
our ten favorite episodes.

Let's list
our least favorite episodes.

Let's list
our favorite galaxies.

Let's make a chart

to see how often
our favorite galaxies appear

on our favorite episodes.

What Romulan would you
most like to see coupled

with a Cardassian and why?

Let's spend a weekend

talking about Romulans
falling in love Cardassians

and then let's do it again.

That's not being a fan.

That's having a fetish.

And I don't have a problem
with that

except you can't bring
your hobbies into work, okay?

Got it.

Except on Star Trek holidays.

There's no such thing
as a Star Trek holiday.

Well, work hard
around here.

We'll make one.

TOBY:
...not just a chance,
but a mission

unique in all of human...

To prove that liberty is...

To prove that...

( chuckles )

Freedom unlocks...

a higher fraction
of the human potential...

than...

than any...

498. But with my name, it's 500.

This is mine.

Stop reading mine.

Actually, it's...

Stop reading it, please.

We can't offer you
any money.

We can put you up in a hotel.

I work with someone.

She's my stepsister, actually.

That's fine,
but she's on your payroll.

This is incredibly good, Will.

"Never shrinking
from the world's...

...a fierce belief in what
we can achieve together."

I used to write
like this.

It was ten months ago.

I don't understand
what's going on.

I really don't.

I've had slumps before.

Everybody does,
but this is different.

I'm sorry.
We don't know each other

but there aren't
that many people

I can talk to about it.

I don't understand
what's happening.

There's no blood going to it.

I never had to locate it before.

I don't even know where to look.

I'm the President's voice

and I don't want it
to sound like this.

There's an incredible history
to second inaugurals.

Fear not, Lincoln

I really thought I was on my way
to being one of those guys.

I thought I was close.

Now I'm just writing
for my life

and you can't serve
the President that way.

But if I didn't write...

I can't serve him at all.

Can I tell you
three things?

You are more in need of
a night in Atlantic City

than any man
I've ever met.

Number two is
the last thing

you need to worry about
is no blood going there.

You've got blood
going there.

About 13 ways.

And some of it
isn't good.

Once again,
I say Atlantic City.

I'd say sit down
at a table

go for dinner,
see a show

take a walk on the boardwalk
and smell the salt air.

But if you're
anything like me

nothing after sit
down at the table
is going to happen.

What's the third thing?

You are one of those guys.

This is an inning
of good relief pitching

from a fresh arm.

All right. All right.

Chances are you have
certain qualities

that are going
to annoy me.

I don't know
what they are yet

but you have a certain
quality about you that says

that even though
you're a capitalist

you've been schooled
in eastern philosophies.

I told you to go
to Atlantic City.

You didn't deny
you've been schooled
in eastern philosophy.

Well-schooled.

You want me to locate
your chakra?

Look...
I'm a lawyer.

Good, 'cause they're
never annoying.

Okay.

I'm glad you liked
what I wrote.

I'm pretty tired.

I've been tired
for a pretty long time

and you've been tired
even longer.

I'm getting on
a plane tonight

and going to a
place in Nice

and I'm going to stay
there for a few weeks.

When I get back,
it'd be a privilege

to give you all the
help you ask for.

Well, I appreciate that.

Oh, man, I forgot.

Sam wanted me
to give you this.

You didn't give it to me
yesterday.

Yeah, you know what?

Not your FedEx guy.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Unless you want
to start now.

Yeah.