All language subtitles for The.West.Wing.S04E06.WEBRip.x264-FGT

Previously on The West Wing...

C.J. Cregg is
getting threats

so we put an
agent on her.

He walked into the middle
of an armed robbery

and was shot
and killed.

Crime.

Boy, I don't know.

PRESIDENT:
You think the strike against me

is nobody likes the smartest kid
in the class.

It isn't a strike

unless you watch it
as it sails by.

RITCHIE:
You're weak, you're liberal

and you can't be trusted.

WOMAN:
Horton Wilde is
in the hospital.

He's had a heart attack.

The Democrats have
nominated someone

who's had three heart attacks.

PRESIDENT:
In the future

if you're wondering--

"Crime, boy,
I don't know"--

is when I decided
to kick your ass.

TOBY:
A crises of confidence?

LEO:
Yeah.

I don't understand.

I was on the
helicopter with him

earlier this morning,
and I'm telling you

he's second-guessing himself

he's revising answers
in his head...

Leo?

I know.

What-what... I don't...

When I left him, he was ready.

I don't understand.
He's ready.

You can see it.

Not this morning.

This isn't supposed

to happen with you people.

Christians?
Yes.

What happened to
"steady as she goes"?

A smart guy said

the presidential elections are
won and lost

on one square foot
of real estate.

Up here.

Well, that's great.
Yeah.

All right, we still got
a day and a half

before he debates.

We'll go back to school.

I think that's just going
to pour gas on the problem.

What do you want to do?

We've got a two-minute
drill right now.

I think whatever
answers he gives

we should just say

"That's terrific,
Mr. President."

What's the point
of the two-minute drill?

We got five of
them scheduled

before tomorrow night.

We're using one
of them for this.

This is crazy.
I don't believe this.

That's terrific, Mr. President.

All right.
SAM:
Leo...

Listen, we're going
to do something

in the... in the
drill right now.

What?

No notes, just positive
reinforcement.

Why?

He has a problem
this morning.

All right.

Leo, I've got an 9:30 flight.

I'll be there sometime
after lunch.

You really can't do this
with a phone call?

Oh, God, I don't know.

The man died.

There's a widow.

We're asking them to pack.

I'm an hour and 15 minutes away
in a rental car

and we didn't
make it personal.

All right, I just
need you in San Diego.

TOBY:
Josh!

We're still looking
for ten words.

JOSH:
I'm still looking
for them, too.

Ten words, ten words--
let's go.

JOSH:
We're going to
expand the field.

TOBY:
No notes during this drill.

That's you, too.

What's that?

No notes during
the drill.
Why?

He's in his head.
There's pretty
important feedback

in the two-minute drills.

We've got four more.

We've got one
on the plane.

When does Debbie actually start?

The President sent her
to the Maxwell school

for a three-day crash course
in everything.

You know you got a ten
dollar bill in there

on your clipboard?

Yeah.
I owe it to someone.

You can all
go on in.

Thank you.

PRESIDENT:
Ten words,
ten words.

We don't have them yet,
Mr. President.

All right, let's do a drill.

C.J.:
Mr. President, despite
a rise in tension

around the globe,
you've held up funding

for a missile defense shield.

Too much money
for too little protection.

ALL:
Good.
Next.

JOSH:
Sir, you oppose
a voucher system

that would offer
children a choice
of better schools...

That would offer some children
a choice of better schools

but I haven't given up the ghost
on better schools for everybody

and vouchers drain money
from that goal.

Mr. President,
this next question's

on capital punishment,
which you oppose:

If your youngest daughter
Zoey was raped and murdered

would you not want to see

the man responsible
put to death?

First of all,
it's important to understand

that the President doesn't
make that decision

though he appoints Supreme Court
Justices who do so.

What... any... um...

All right, I'm not
going to say that.

I'll just go
right to...

No. I don't.

I think you... know
that I'm opposed...

( sighs )

Let's not do that.

I haven't seen
any evidence

that it's a
deterrent, and
there are more

effective...

In my state...

Oh, my God.
What?

You weren't kidding.

What's the matter with you?

When I left you...

I just mentioned
your daughter

being murdered,
and you're giving us an answer

that's not only soporific,
it's barely human.

Yes, you'd want
to see him put to death.

You'd want it
to be cruel and unusual

which is why
it's probably a good idea

that fathers of murder victims
don't have legal rights

in these situations.

Now, we're going back to school.

( laughter )

Let's go-- ten bucks.

PRESIDENT:
Crisis

of confidence.

You did one
square foot

of real estate?

Yes, I did.

Ten bucks for you.

And you-- you big bear,
come to me.

I'm going to kiss you

right on the mouth.

Ten bucks.

LEO:
Anything else, sir?

Work hard.

ALL:
Thank you, sir.

Thank you,
Mr. President.

( groaning )

( laughter )

( groaning )

Have a safe flight.

I'll see you in San Diego.

I'm sorry about that.

It was the President's idea.

He bet us
you couldn't stay quiet

if he gave a bad answer.

( stifled laughter )

What?

He's ready.

( indistinct conversation )

Excuse me?
Hang on,
one second.

Can he do Inside
Politics tomorrow?

I told him
he could do it on tape

but we're downtown at 5:00.

Let me talk to them again.

Yes.

I'm Sam Seaborn.

I'm here to see William Bailey.

He's expecting me.

Okay.
Hey...

William Bailey.
Bill Bailey-- I just got that.

You should definitely
mention it to him

'cause he's probably
never heard that
reference before.

Okay.
It's Will.

( as Jimmy Stewart ):
Merry Christmas,
you ol' Building and Loan.

That's George Bailey.

Well, why don't we get him?

Will?
Will?

It's good to see you.

I'll be with you
in just a second.

Darren and Sharon,
where are you?

This is good,
but don't ever

use the words
"waiting period."

I thought the point
of the statement was

to support a stricter
waiting period

for handguns.

The point is
to get one.

"Waiting period" sounds
like an inconvenience.

Keeping guns away
from felons is an issue

of national necessity.

Karen, if you call around

on the state ballot
initiatives...

Got it!
Hi.

Hi. Sam Seaborn.
Sure. Will Bailey.

You want to come inside?

Will, you got
like, two minutes.

Yeah.

There's a press
conference.

I've been trying to...

study a little.

I met your assistant.

She's funny. She's very...

She's attractive, too.

I hope I'm not
being inappropriate.

I have an assistant?
Oh, somebody
who works here.

Yeah.

First things first.

I bring the condolences
of the White House on your loss.

On Mrs. Wilde's loss,
I should say.

Everybody's.

And to tell you
you ran a strong campaign

for your candidate,
and you should be proud.

Thank you.

( clears throat )

Do you know
why I came here?

Even money it's not
to tell me

I ran a strong campaign,
and I should be proud.

It's not.

Though you did,
and you should.

And I will once it's over.

It's over.

Nothing I can do
about California election law.

The man's name stays
on the ballot.

Yes, but you can't keep
campaigning without a candidate.

It's a campaign of ideas.

The candidate died.

But not the ideas.

The metaphor alone
knocks me down.

Elsie!

Mr. Bailey...
ELSIE:
Yeah.

I'm getting really cold feet
about the bow tie.

I know you like it,
but for me it's, like

my whole world
becomes about it.

Can we rustle up a real one?

Yeah, and we really
have to get in the car.

Mm-hmm.

The campaign's become
embarrassing to us.

It's a national joke.

( clears throat )

( pours water )

I'm sorry about that.

I got a press conference.

Sally and the
Suffragettes--
what you got?

We did the PSA.

Let me see.
Very nice.

But do me a favor--
read this for me.

GIRLS:
"It doesn't matter
who you vote for."

"Make sure you vote."

I like the sentiment,
but the thing is

I think it does matter
who you vote for.

What if it said,
"No matter who
you vote for

make sure you vote?"

What do you think?

GIRLS:
Good.

Good.

Will?

Yeah.

I'm here for the President.

I admire the President, Sam.
I really do.

But?

I don't work for him.

Let's go.

C.J:
All right, everyone.

Thank you very much.

Carol's passing out
the playbooks.

Senator, we've put you
on criminal justice, and Martin

we've moved you to welfare,
if that's okay.

Sure.

There's also some third party

validator information

in there, as well
as the names

of the reporters
you'll handcuffed to.

If it's not your thing,
don't try to wing it.

Call somebody over.

Surrogate plane leaves
at 9:00 this evening.

We'll see you
tomorrow for pre-game.

C.J., could I see you?

And I need Congresswoman Wyatt

for just a moment.

( clears throat )

Bennett's going
to spin for Ritchie.

I could have
told you

that was going
to happen.

Hang on--
no, wait-- I did.

I find competitiveness
so feminine in tall women.

On defense?
Yeah, on defense.

What the hell...
Don't huckle around

with me right now, Phyllis.

I got a North Carolina Democrat

shilling for Ritchie on defense.

I've got to get a guy.
I need a Republican.

This is why
I'm talking to you.

You're going to
use Albie Duncan.

He'll do it?
Yes.

Duncan?
Yes.

He will?
Yes.

Look at me.

He's not a little bit crazy?
Albie Duncan?

Yeah.
No, no, no.
A little bit.

Toby...
He's going
to be great.

You'll see to it. Andy?

I'm crazy about the roundness
of your head.

Thank you. Andy?

She's nervous.

These things are won
and lost in the rooms.

Not this one.
You think so?

I know so.

Don't get
over-confident.

That ship sailed.

Hey, you want to
know something?

C.J. doesn't
like running.

Why not?

Believe it or not

'cause it takes
time away from helping.

I really like that about her,
don't you?

Yeah.

Good.

Then marry me again.

No.

What else you got?

All right.

Let's make it
interesting.

Let's add incentive.

The President wins the debate
tomorrow night

and you marry me again.

How about the President wins
the debate tomorrow night

he gets elected
President again?

See, that's the difference
between you and me.

You're small-time.

And that's
why the twins are going

to need their father around
full-time.

'Cause your thing would
be a terrible trait.

A terrible family trait
to pass on to little...

Beatrice and Bluto.

I'm naming them
Beatrice and Bluto now.

I don't care if
they're boys or girls.

What do you need?

I need you
to back up Albie Duncan.

Is he crazy?
No.

No.

No. A little bit.

No.

Look, he's Albie Duncan.

He was in the Eisenhower
State Department.

He's brilliant, he's respected.

He's a Republican.

If he's crazy,
then I don't want to be sane.

You're not.

Excellent.

I'm out of here.

Read Gabe Tillman's speech
to the Stanford Club last night.

You're going to think
you wrote it.

Only it was somebody better.

WILL:
Someone who will fight

for world-class schools.

Someone who will
take medical decisions

away from HMOs
and give them to doctors.

Someone who will
make polluters pay

for the pollution they cause

right here in Orange County.

And what are your plans
for the final week?

Volunteers are going
door-to-door

in every neighborhood.

We've got six busloads

of AFT and AFL volunteers
coming down.

We've got six
get-out-the-vote rallies

in the next six days.

We're in this to win it. Yeah?

Mr. Bailey,
Ted Willard

Orange County
Post-Gazette.

What happens if that happens?

What happens
if your candidate wins?

A special election will be held
after no more than 90 days.

Does the party
have someone in mind?

We're vetting Wendell Wilkie.

What do you think?

( laughter )

REPORTER:
Seriously.

Seriously, one
election at
a time. Beth?

60% of Orange County residents
disagree

with Horton Wilde
gun position

which doesn't distinguish it

from many other issues
important to voters here.

Is the Wilde campaign
out of touch?

60% is six of ten
in a focus group.

We change one mind,
it's a dead heat.

We change two,
it's a landslide.

This campaign's
a mechanism
of persuasion.

We're not asking
for a show of hands.

Uh, yeah.

June Wheeler,
San Jose Mercury News.

You're a long way from home.

This is a fun story.

Glad I could help out.

Mr. Bailey,
we're all sitting here

pretending this is a regular
press conference

and you're very engaging

up there,
but your candidate died

so why isn't this all
a little preposterous?

Chuck Webb is a seven-
term Congressman

who, as Chairman
of not one but two

Commerce sub-committees
has taken money

from companies
he regulates.

He's on the
board of the NRA

and once challenged
another congressman
to a fistfight

on the floor,
over an amendment

to make stalkers submit
to background checks

before buying AR-15s, AK-57s

Street Sweepers,
MAC-10s, MAC-11s.

He's joined protests designed
to frighten pregnant women.

What's your point?

There are worse things
in the world

than no longer being alive.
Yes.

You said earlier
this morning

that 47th pays
more in taxes...

SAM:
How you doing?

WILL:
You don't want to be
in San Diego right now?

I'd want to be
in San Diego.

I'm about
to head down there.

I was just
at your press conference.

You guys ready?

Yeah.

It's going to be
great or a disaster.

Nothing in between.

Good.

So, what is this?

Our contributors gave
their money to Horton Wilde.

He's dead now.

I know.

And that's the metaphor.

A standard-bearer
for a party that's dead

in every bedroom community
in Southern California.

That guy had a point.

Who?

The Post-Gazette.
He asked if we had a name.

You want one yet?

Not me.
Not right now.

Kay Wilde does.

The widow?

Yeah.
She wants a Democrat

to tell us privately
that they'll run

if he wins.

Nobody wants it.

Do you believe you're
going to need it?

No.

Give her Winston Churchill.

What does it matter?

All right, it matters.

What are you doing?

Sam, I swear to God,
I'm trying to win an election.

I think you, of all people

would be able to recognize it
when you saw it.

All right.

All right.

I can get on
the 405 if I

go straight
down there, right?

Fourth light.

Hey, you guys

give 'em hell tomorrow.

All right.

You have more events
tonight, right?

Yeah.

Your tie doesn't go.

CARRIE:
What are those
stripes, 1/16?

They're going to blur.

BOBBY:
You like the herringbone?

I think it's going
to glow.
It is.

This is the navy Heraldic Club.

CARRIE:
Any other year

they're broadcasting
in HD digital now
and with the pixels.

JONATHAN:
Does anybody, anybody
have digital yet?

BOBBY:
Solid silk repp, light mustard.

CARRIE:
Not with his coloring.

So it's the charcoal and blue.

Yeah.

It's good. Charlie?

Thanks.

Hey, Charlie.

Hi. You're starting out in
the Oval Office, actually.

When do you leave?

Right now.

Good luck.

Tell him.

PRESIDENT:
Hey.

Good afternoon,
Mr. President.

Sir,
they've chosen a tie.

It's charcoal
and blue.
No, I decided

to go ahead and
wear my lucky tie.

You sure?
Yeah.

This tie feels pretty lucky
to me.

Then it's your lucky tie.

Why don't you get mine
and we'll go

to the plane.
Yes, sir.

Listen, what do you say
I sit in on this meeting

for a few minutes?
We've got time.

What do you say
you get into pregame.

Let me worry about this

for tonight.
All right.

Come here a second.

There's no such thing
as too smart.

There's nothing you can do

that's not going to make me
proud of you.

Eat 'em up.

Okay.

We'll go next door.

About a week ago we stopped
a Qumari ship called the Mastico

on information
that it was carrying

about 72 tons of weapons
and high explosives.

Hi.

Hello.
What do you need?

Ten words.
Let me try two on you.

Defense: "I will make

"America's defenses
the strongest

in the history
of the world."

In the history
of the world?

When we say that,
are we comparing ourselves

to the Visigoths,
adjusted for inflation?

Crime: "Some crimes
are so heinous

"so hateful
to American values that we

ought to lock the prisoners up
and throw away the key."

Please, don't say
yes to that one.

Keep working on the plane

and call me
every 30 minutes.

You read Gabriel Tillman's
speech at the Stanford Club?

No.
Governor of California's

got a new writing staff.

Are you going to call
every 30 minutes?
Yeah.

One more drill on the plane.

We're going to make you proud.

Sit back and enjoy it.

Okay.

You stopped a Qumari ship
with what, Leo?

Are we on another crime spree?

Why don't you call me before...?

We stopped them
with a warning shot

from the USS Austin.
Okay.

An LPD San Antonio-class
warship.

The weapons were not
on their way to the Qumari.

They were on their way
to the Bahji.

If I can't get everyone else
on board

with the fact that Qumar
is our enemy

surely we can all agree that
the International Bahji Cell is.

The weapons were on their way
to the Bahji.

And the Austin stopped them.

Qumar's leveraging the Mastico.

We know this.

What do they want?

Yesterday,
they want

THAAD missile technology.

Today, they want
convicted Bahji operatives

let out of U.S. jails.

It changes.

You're going to have
to give them something.

No, I don't have
to do anything, Jordon.

I'm right, they're wrong.

They're strong...
I'm much stronger.

And what happens
tomorrow morning

the President gets on
TV and makes his case.

No, we're not ready
to do that!

We're nowhere near ready.

What happens?
Assuming we get around
the Boland Amendment

and any potential violations
of domestic law

and separation of powers--
forgetting international outcry

and sticking
our Arab allies with

an impossible choice
of loyalties--

six to five and pick 'em.
You violated

the Geneva convention.

Since when is it...?

Since Francisco Pizarro!

Well, if you're
going to throw

the Swiss in my face.

( sighs )

Ali Nissir is at
the General Assembly.

How hard would it be

to quietly get him here
from New York tonight?

U.N. diplomats
are a little under pay scale.

He's a reasonable guy.
Is he?

In relation to...
Ali Nissir

is what passes
for reasonable these days.

How hard
would it be

to get him here quietly tonight?

Not hard.

All right.

Why don't you do it

and we'll talk about
the next step.

Margaret!

What was that before,
with ten words?

It's a debating phrase.

It has to do
with making things simpler.

Would you get me

the National Security Council?

Yes, sir.

What's going on?

Okay,
as I understand it

it was the last debate
of the first campaign.

Is everything all right?
No. Moments before

the debate started, the
President went out to the alley

to sneak a cigarette,
only he lit his necktie on fire.

Yes.
And Josh gave him his
and he won

and now it's his game tie.

And it got wrecked
at the cleaners

by a cleaning solvent
we probably shouldn't use

anymore.
Did you tell him?

No. But that's
a different conversation.

My point is,
doesn't this look

an awful lot
like the real one?

I don't remember what
the real one looked like.

But where did you get
a tie on a plane?

The neck of
the Deputy Labor Secretary.

But what the hell
am I thinking?

You can't pull
this kind of fake out.

Now it becomes
the bad luck tie.

Bad things will happen
in that tie.

No, you've got to face the music
and dance alone.

You know what? I think
maybe you and the President

are obsessing on the tie.

I'm going to throw this
notion out on the stoop

see if the cat licks it up.

I think the President's
performance in the debate

had actually very little
to do with the tie.

Okay.

You heard me say
it was his game tie, right?

Yeah.

Okay.

Mr. Secretary.

Ah, Miss Cregg.

Thanks so much
for helping us out.

Yes.

Have you ever seen
the Moscow Circus?

No.

Then I really have

no point of reference
to describe

what a post debate spin room
is like.

( chuckling ):
I like you.

You're the one I like.

Thank you very much.

What happens is,
you'll be taken into the room

and a volunteer
will walk in behind you

holding up a large sign
with your name on it

and the press
will surround you.

Is that dignified?

Absolutely not.

Don't even hope.

They're going to want you
to talk about

why is a Republican spinning
for the President.

Nobody's expecting you
to say a thing--

not a thing--
that would embarrass the party

to which you've been a loyal
and active member

your entire life.
Mm-hmm.

He'll be attacked during
the debate on China.

He'll have to defend
his trade goals

versus
human rights violations.

Trade's essential
for human rights.

Instead of isolating them

we make them live by the
same global trading rules

as everyone else
and gain 1.2 billion

consumers for our products and
strengthen the forces of reform.

That's it.
It's that simple.

No, it's not simple.

It's incredibly complicated.

Sure.
McGarry's boy's
over there

coming up with
greeting cards.

Josh?

He's sitting with me
trying to boil down

foreign policy into
a ten-word statement.

No, no,
he's the ten-word.

And believe me,
he hates it.

I've been at the State
Department for 30 years

and there is no right answer
to these questions

and diplomacy needs
all the words

it can get
its hands on.

Plus, he's from Connecticut.

Yeah, but the thing is,
Ritchie's good at it

and we just need to show
we have that club in our bag.

That all.
What kind of shot do
you get with that club?

According to the best people

who've analyzed
specific polling data

there may be
a million undecided's out there

who'd come to Bartlet
if he displayed

one or two qualities
that were more like Ritchie.

And we chose this.

So, for 90 seconds tonight

the mountain will come
to Mohammed

and we'll pretend
the whole thing never happened.

It's incredibly complicated.

Yes.

The answer I just
gave you on trade?

It was perfect.

You know there's
a decent chance

I'm full of crap, right?

Sure.

Free trade's essential
for human rights.

The end of that sentence
is "we hope...

'cause nothing
else has worked."

Okay, but I wouldn't
say that tonight.

The President knows
Chinese political prisoners

are going to be sewing
soccer balls with their teeth

whether we sell them
cheeseburgers or not

so let's sell them
cheeseburgers.

Nor, if it were I,
would I say that.

Let me tell you
something

young lady,
3,700 years ago

in the Chang dynasty

when a king died, his
slaves were beheaded--

the lucky ones.

The unlucky ones
were buried alive.

Political repression?

This is progress.

Still, I think
the first answer's our winner.

So, can I find
an attractive aide

and have her bring you
some Schweppe's Bitter Lemon?

No, I'm too steamed to...

Yes, yes, okay.

Good.

Carol?
Yeah.

Go to work.
Yeah.

So, is he crazy?

Um, yes.

What do you think?
Well, if we lose

because of a ten-word answer,
then I'm quitting show business.

What do you think?

I think it depends
who shows up.

If it's Uncle Fluffy,
we've got problems.

If it's the President--
in his last campaign

his last debate

for the last job
he'll ever have--

the President shows up

I think it could be
a sight to see.

I mean, a sight to see.

What do you think?

( exhales )

I think you're going
to enjoy yourself tonight.

Mr. Ambassador.

Mr. McGarry.

You know
Jordon Kendall.

I do

but I did not know
she worked here.

Special Counsel to the Office
of the Chief of Staff.

Mr. Nissir

the President
starts his debate
in four minutes.

I won't be there,
obviously.

And for me, it's like
missing my brother's
wedding, right?

A big Super Bowl
or something.

And I'm mentioning this

to underline
the importance

of this conversation.

You have to turn

the boat around.

It's the match being held
to the fuse.

I don't know anything
about a boat.

You're not getting access
to THAAD.

We're not going to release

Bahji operatives

and we're not going to give you
$30 billion

to create the
Trans-Qumari
pipeline.

You have to turn
the boat around.

MAN ( over P.A. ):
Ladies and gentlemen,
please take your seats.

The debate will begin
in two and a half minutes.

We'd like to remind you
that this is a live broadcast.

In the event
of any technical difficulties

we'd ask that everyone
remain quietly in their seats

until the issue
has been addressed.

Should you need to exit the hall
at any time

please be aware that reentry

will not be permitted
mid-broadcast.

When the debate
comes to a close...

I guess what I don't understand
is this.

Have I ever exhibited
any evidence

that I'd be mad if
a tie got ruined?
No, sir.

No, I'm not that guy.
This tie was special.

Dry cleaner chemicals
don't know that.

STAGE MANAGER:
President Bartlet

and Governor Ritchie
to the stage, please?

This is
their two-minute warning.
Josh?

Yeah. Guys, we're going
to give them the room now.

Bring it, boss.

Nothing but strikes.

Game on.

( crunching )

I just assumed
you wanted to include me.

Good evening from the University
of California, San Diego.

I'm Alexander Thompson.

Welcome to the Presidential
Debate between President...

Well, it's in the bag.

You have someone
here to show off for.

My daughters are here?

Are you kidding?

Ellie's wearing makeup.

Well, I don't approve
of that.

You understand
she's 27, right?

I don't approve
of that, either.

Remember the tie

Josh had to give me
at the last minute?

Yeah. I heard
that happened.

So, do you think
there's any point

in still having
the debate?

There was a lot of juice
in that tie.

It was like
in the last seconds.

Just the energy
getting me out on stage...

Well... tough.

CHARLIE:
Sir?

Yeah. I got to go.

We'll do mushy later.

So, for now, I just got to say
I love you so much

that my head's
going to fly off.

But, more importantly,
game on, boyfriend.

Let's go.

Okay.

By the way,
I feel bad.

I don't think
I've done enough

to help you prepare
for this debate.

Why are you telling me
this now?

( snips )

Just 'cause.

Oh, my God.

You're insane.

Are you...?

You're insane!

Charlie!
STAGE MANAGER:
30 seconds, please.

( laughing )

CHARLIE:
Josh, we need your tie.

What the hell?
Take it off!

What happened?

My wife cut if off
with scissors.

Why?

I don't think we have
that kind of time, Josh.

15 seconds.
No one's done
camera tests...

She's right.
Let's run some.

STAGE MANAGER:
Sir?
Right here!

With that,
ladies and gentlemen

President Josiah Barlet
of New Hampshire

and Governor Robert Ritchie
of Florida.

( applause )

Oh!

Oh...

( applause grows louder )

The rules for tonight's debate
are as follows:

a candidate will be asked
a question

by one of the panelists

and he will have 90 seconds
to respond.

His opponent will then have
60 seconds

with which to ask a question
and get an answer

though it must be limited
to the same topic.

There will be two minutes for
closing statements at the end.

By virtue of a coin toss

Governor Ritchie,
the first question is for you.

MAN:
Governor Ritchie,
good evening.

Good evening.

Perhaps
the biggest

philosophical difference
between you and the President

is over the role
of the federal government itself

and whether national problems
really have national solutions.

Can you explain your view?

Well, first,
let me say good evening

and thank you.

It's a privilege
to be here.

My view of this is simple--

we don't need a Federal
Department of Education

telling us our children
have to learn Esperanto

they have to learn
Eskimo poetry.

Eskimo poetry?
Ssh!

RITCHIE:
Let the states decide.

Let the communities decide
on health care, on education

on lower taxes,
not higher taxes.

Now, he's going to throw
a big word at you--

"unfunded mandate."

He's going to say

if Washington lets
the states do it

it's an unfunded mandate.

But what he doesn't like is the
federal government losing power.

But I call it the ingenuity
of the American people.

President Bartlet,
you have 60 seconds

for a question
and an answer.

Well, first of all, let's
clear up a couple of things.

"Unfunded mandate" is two words,
not one "big word."

( murmuring laughter )

( cheering )

There are times when

we're 50 states

and there are times
when we're one country

and have national needs.

And the way I know
this is that Florida

didn't fight Germany
in World War II

or establish civil rights.

You think states should do
the governing wall-to-wall.

That's a perfectly valid opinion

but your state of Florida
got $12.6 billion

in federal money
last year--

from Nebraskans
and Virginians

and New Yorkers

and Alaskans with
their Eskimo poetry.

12.6 out of a state budget
of 50 billion

and I'm supposed to be using
this time for a question

so here it is:

can we have it back, please?

Game on!

Oh, my God.

Strike 'em out,
throw 'em out.

Anybody want spin?

( all shouting )

It's not going to be
Uncle Fluffy.

No.

Mr. President,
the next question is for you.

Now I want people to work
together in this great country

and that's what I did in Florida

I brought people together.

And that's what I'll do
as your President.

End the logjam

end the gridlock

and bring Republicans
together with Democrats

'cause Americans

are tired of partisan politics.

( applause )

Mr. President?

Actually, what
you've done in Florida

is bring the right together
with the far right.

And I don't think Americans
are tired of partisan politics

I think they're tired
of hearing career politicians

diss partisan politics
to get a gig.

I've tried it before,
they ain't buying it.

( applause )
That's okay,
though.

That's okay, though, because
partisan politics is good.

Partisan politics is what
the Founders had in mind.

It guarantees

that the minority opinion
is heard.

And as a life-long possessor
of minority opinions

I appreciate it.

But if you're troubled
by it, Governor

you should know
in this campaign

you've used
the word "liberal"

74 times in one day.

It was yesterday.

( applause and laughter )

I'm not sure
I can watch anymore.

No, wait, I can.
I can.

Israel launched an unwarranted,
illegal, unilateral air strike

against the people of Qumar.

LEO:
The air strike

was neither
unwarranted

nor was it against
the people of Qumar.

It was against
two Bahji terrorist camps

after the Israeli
Foreign Minister was shot down

by Bahji operatives of,
by-the-by

Qumari citizenship,
educated

if we're going to use that word,
in Qumari madrassas

and financed by
fat members of

the Qumari Royal Family

including the Sultan's brother,
Abdul ibn Shareef.

Zionist propaganda.

And we lost
a cabinet minister as well.

Yes.

And you have the results

of joint U.S., UK and Qumari
search and rescue operations

that detail
the tragic loss at sea.

Yet your intelligence services
seem ready

to tell the Arab world
that it was Israel.

A state the sanctions
covert assassination.

Of terrorists.

Are you saying Mr. Shareef
was one of them?

Excuse me, Mr. Ambassador.
Leo?

You got to stop it.

Jordan, I...

You, you got to turn
the boat around.

You're going
to be at war.

I can't play games with
these people anymore.

I can't do it anymore.

Ben Yosef gave me
the Medal of David

and ten hours later
he was dead.

I can't pretend Qumar's
our quirky little ally

whose culture it's important
to be tolerant of.

They're not wearing
wooden shoes.

I was a soldier.
I flew fighters over the DMZ.

It was incredibly dangerous.

What did I do that for?

What am I handing to
the next guy and to my kid...

Turn the boat around.

Do that for the next guy,
do that for Mallory

and do that for the President,
he's busy right now.

PRESIDENT( on TV ):
No, the question is

should we focus on 90% of the
kids who go to public school

or give parents money from
the public school budget

to send their kids
to private school

at a time when private schools

are even turning away
kids who can afford it?

Public schools are going to be
the best schools in the country.

They're going to be cathedrals.

The answer is a change
in the way we finance schools.

( applause on TV )

Mr. McGarry, I think
we are both men

and we both know there is
a charade being enacted here.

I understand Western politics

and I understand
President Bartlet

is unable to admit
Israel's complicity

in the death of
the Sultan's brother

during a close
election.

So perhaps we could...

( chuckling )

Did I say something funny?

You think the President's afraid
that if he admitted complicity

in Shareef's death
he would lose votes

in this country?

To sweep all
50 states

the President would only
need to do two things--

blow the Sultan's brains out
in Times Square

then walk across the street
to Nathan's and buy a hot dog.

Mr. Ambassador

you're going to turn
the Mastico around.

You are going
to cease and desist

any disinformation campaign

that links the death
of Shareef to Israel

and sometime
next year

the Sultan is going to propose
a Middle East peace plan--

the Qumar plan--

and win the Nobel
Peace Prize.

Make your phone call.

I'll be waiting.

He's a little hot under
the collar, is he not?

Excuse me.

I have a meeting of

Godless infidels next door.

Governor Ritchie, many
economists have stated

that the tax cut,
which is the centerpiece

of your economic agenda,
could actually

harm the economy.

Is now really the time
to cut taxes?

You bet it is.

We need to cut taxes
for one reason--

the American people know
how to spend their money

better than
the Federal government does.

Mr. President,
your rebuttal.

There it is.

What the hell...
He's got it.

That's the ten-word answer

my staff's been looking for
for two weeks.

There it is.

Ten-word answers can kill you
in political campaigns.

They're the tip of the sword.

Here's my question--

what are the next
ten words of your answer?

Your taxes are too high?
So are mine.

Give me the next ten words.

How are we going to do it?

Give me ten after that, I'll
drop out of the race right now.

Every once in a while...

every once in a while,
there's a day

with an absolute right
and an absolute wrong.

But those days almost always
include body counts.

Other than that, there aren't
very many unnuanced moments

in leading a country that's
way too big for ten words.

I'm the President
of the United States

not the President
of the people who agree with me.

And, by the way, if the left
has a problem with that

they should vote
for somebody else.

( applause )

We begin
closing statements with....

I'm going to make a bold
suggestion, but hear me out.

JOSH:
What?

Let's not spin.

Let's leave the room.

We'll use the experts,
but nobody from the campaign

nobody from the White House

and definitely
not us.

JOSH:
Why?

There's nothing left to do
here and it's inelegant.

It's the punch
Ali never gave Foreman

when he was going down.

Absolutely.

JOSH:
All right, just a statement.

The President's
on his way

to Washington
to get back to work.

And there'll be a lot
of drinking on the plane.

I don't think that should
be included in the statement.

No, good heads up.

( reporters shouting )

Trade with China is essential
for human rights.

By engaging China
and making them live

by the same global trading
rules as everyone else

we gain 1.2 billion consumers
for our products

and we strengthen
the forces of freedom

and the President knows this.

C.J.:
Mr. Secretary?

Uh, I'm sorry, Miss Cregg,
do you need me?

I have a question.

Isn't there a decent chance
you and the President are wrong?

I'm sorry?

I mean, doesn't he

also know that Chinese
political prisoners

are going to be sewing soccer
balls together with their teeth

whether we sell them
cheeseburgers or not?

I mention this
because the President

just reminded us that
complexity isn't a vice.

You're the one I like, too.

THOMPSON:
That concludes this debate.

Thank you very much

and good night.

( applause )

It's over.

You'll be back.

( dance music playing )

SAM:
Hey.

Tammy, I'd like to buy
this old guy a beer.

He had a good night.

Okay.

Thank you.

How does it feel?

Winning?

Yeah.

Good.

I thought he was going to

have to fall all over
himself trying to be genial.

So did we.

But then we were
convinced by polling

that he was
going to be seen as arrogant

no matter what performance
he gave in the debate.

And then that morning at 3:10
my phone rings

it's Toby Ziegler, he says,
"Don't you get it, it's a gift

"that they're irreversibly
convinced that he's arrogant

'cause now he can be."

If your guy's seen that way

you might as well knock
some bodies down with it.

You don't fly with the team?

Not this time.

I had to return
the rental car

that's why I was glad
to get together again.

One-way charges

on rental cars are insane.

I think if everybody
drove one way

it'd all work out in the wash.

What do you think?

I think every rental car
in America would be

at the Grand Canyon
and the Tropicana.

Let the campaign fold, man.

Stay out of the news this week.

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

TAMMY:
Sure.

You grow up in
California politics?

No, I grew up

in Brussels.

Why?

Several members of my family
worked at the NATO headquarters.

You're not Thomas Bailey's
grandson by any chance, are you?

I'm his son.

I'm the youngest.

Hmm.

That had to have been
a nice career day.

"Hello, I'm Will's dad.

I'm Supreme Commander,
NATO Allied Forces."

Not a lot of kids took
your lunch money, right?

No.

It's embarrassing, Will.

There's a campaign
being waged here

and I'm not
embarrassed by it.

There are things
being talked about

things you believe in

things the White House
believes in

and they're only going
to be talked about

in a blowout
and you know it.

And you know
there's no glory in it

and you still come here twice
and tell me my guy's a joke.

That my people
are embarrassing.

How many Democrats

told you to get out of
the way for John Hoynes?

The bandwagon was in Texas
and the boys were in Nashua.

How many Democrats told you
it was embarrassing?

I'm not kidding, Sam,
how many?

All of them.
That's right.

You're the one
who wrote Tillman's speech.

No, I'm not.

His speech to the
Stanford Club-- yes, you are.

I don't even...
I don't know what you're...

That's fine.

But you and I

both know different, right?

So let's have
some respect for that.

You've ghosted for
Senators, movie stars

I think the King
of Belgium one time.

Do you say anything?

No.
Why?

Speech writers don't do that.

Yeah.

Okay, I'll just say

it was very good and
a number of people think so

and leave it there.

Except to say

that the jokes worked, too.

I don't know who wrote them,
maybe the King of Belgium

but I know it wasn't
the Governor of California.

You see that girl
over there?

That's the one I thought
was your assistant.

He name is Elsie Snuffin.

( chuckles )

What a great name.

Isn't it?

Why'd you tell me that?

She wrote the jokes.

Anyway, you should
know about her.

Where'd you find her?

She was the 11th man

on a ten-man writing
staff for a sitcom.

They weren't using her stuff

'cause it was smarter
than the show

but she didn't know that.

All right.

Thank you for the beer

and for the lively conversation.

Listen...

if you can't find a Democrat,
tell Mrs. Wilde...

tell Kay that I'll do it.

Are you kidding?

Tell her I'm
a magna cum laude
graduate of Princeton

and editor of
the Duke Law Review.

Tell her that I've
worked for congressmen

and the D-triple-C.

I have seven years
at Gage Whitney

and for the last four
I've served as

Deputy Communications Director
and Senior Counsel.

Tell her I grew up
two streets from here.

I'm not going
to ask anyone else.

This is for election
night, if you win.

I read about it before then

I'm going to deny it
and we're through.

Excuse me.

( cheering )

Listen.

We love you!

Thank you.

Listen, I've got to get to a bed
but I just wanted to say

thanks for the hard work.

One more week.

You're making a lot
of people proud.

And if you get a chance,
read the text

of the Governor's speech
to the Stanford Club.

It's going
to give you chills.

And the jokes, I think,
are particularly funny.

Anyway...

Good luck.

( cheering )

Good night, Will.

Don't forget your necktie.

Keep it.