All language subtitles for The.West.Wing.S04E02.WEBRip.x264-FGT

WOMAN:
And that ends
this day of trading

the Dow dropping 645 points

the seventh largest percentage
drop in history

and the largest
point total ever.

The bad news hit
before the opening bell

when the Gehrman-Driscoll Fund

the largest hedge fund
in the U.S.

announced it was
filing for bankruptcy.

Yeah, it's a proud day
for Alfred Nobel.

Mr. President.

When do you think
I say something?

If Japan doesn't step up.

Tell me again.

Keith.
Muriel Keith.

Mr. Keith.

Mr. President.

I told my granddaughter
I was meeting you

and I asked what questions

she wanted me to ask you
and she said to ask you

of all the presidents you've met
who is your favorite

and I assured her
that it would be me.

( chuckles )

No, no. Um...

Mr. Truman.

He was a good man.

Okay, well, I was just
kidding, but, sure

Truman, if you like
that kind of thing.

MAN:
Uh, gentleman,
I'll be ready

in just one minute.
I'm sorry.

How old were you when
you met President Hoover?

Nine years old.

It was my birthday.

It was October
the 23rd, 1929.

The 23rd?

Yes, sir.

Is there something
unusual about that?

No, no.

It's just... it's...

You shook hands with
him, and the next day

the Great Depression
started.

Yes, sir.

Okay.

Stock market took
a stumble today.

You know, we'll call it...
well, a little bigger

than a pre-rally
decline.

If you watch the news

or read a newspaper

or really are alive
in any way

you're going to hear about it
in the next couple of hours.

I'm not worried, though

'cause Tokyo opens
at 7:00 PM Eastern

at Tokyo's going to be
my mother's milk tonight.

It's in the bag.

MAN:
Okay, gentleman

right this way.

On the count of three.
One...

No.
I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Sorry, could I just
have one second?

Charlie?

How you doing?

Fine, thank you.

There's a lot of science
in economics to be sure

but like a lot of things,
a lot depends on the user.

I need the Nikkei Index to do
what I need it to do tonight

and I've got Hoover's
good luck charm over here.

But now, while
I'm talking about it

I feel like it's ridiculous
that someone like me

would consider canceling
a photo-op...

I can't believe you're
considering doing it, sir.

I'm not, it's momentary.

No, I mean I can't believe
you're considering doing it.

Really?

Tokyo opens
in three hours

and you're
going to drape

your arm
around the Mayor of Shantytown?

I didn't know
you were superstitious.

I'm not.

Plus there are the tribes
in South America

that don't think a photograph's
a good idea to begin with.

Yeah.

You ever see any
pictures on my desk?

No.

You ever wonder why?

Charlie, just out of curiosity

in your mind, how much time do I
spend thinking about your desk?

Fair point, sir.

How long have we been
talking about this now?

A couple of minutes.

Okay, let's not
tell anybody that.

Mr. Keith, I'm sorry

we're going to have
to reschedule this
for tomorrow.

Oh, why?

You're spooking the hell
out of the President.
Just scheduling.

I'm...
I'll explain it.

Thank you.

C.J.:
Sam?

Yeah.

Whatcha' doin' on the floor?

I don't know.

I think it was just
the closest thing.

Come on, you'll get
your pants all shmutsy.

The First Lady's
not a lesbian, is she?

I don't know.
I can ask her.

Why were there rolling pins?

Brenda Swetland: "At this
moment, you're not licensed

to practice medicine,
correct?"

A. Bartlett: "At this moment,
I'm just a wife and mother."

I don't see it.

Well, you got to want it.

Oh, I see it.

Yeah.

What are we doing?

Well, I wanted my office
to issue a statement saying

"You're annoying,
shut up," but Bruno said

to wave at it and he's right.

Yeah.
Listen.

I know this is the last thing
you want to hear right now

but I want to get Anthony
a Big Brother

and Charlie said no,
and I thought if it was

anything you might be
interested in

I could talk
to you about it.

It's an hour a week.

He doesn't
have anybody

and you know he hasn't
gotten over Simon.

You asked Charlie first?

There's no way
you have time for this.

I might.

You don't.
Ginger.

You just worked
48 hours straight.

Yeah.

And that
was the weekend.

Maybe he'd enjoy sitting
and watching me work.

I could narrate
what I was doing for him.

"Right now, I'm reading
background intelligence

"on Central America
as it relates

"believe it or not,
to textile imports.

"Ooh, intelligence.

007."

See, and right away I've
got him going with 007.

I'm sitting here listening

already I've turned
to a life of crime.

You know I'd do it if I could.

I do know that

shmutsy pants.

That's going to be around
for a while, right?

Josh is on the phone.

Thanks.

Hey.

How's it going?

Fine, so far.

Just Bryce, right?

Yeah.
Let me ask you something.

He was saying that Commerce

didn't have enough input
on the stump speech

and I started to say
that it was my fault

and the President
kind of ran me over.

Yeah, he doesn't
like the appearance

that his staff
is covering for him.

It genuinely wasn't his fault.

Nothing's not his fault
in the Oval Office.

Got it.

Anything else
before we get on the train?

Could you put Toby on?

Yeah. Toby. Sam.

Was Bryce pissed?

Yeah. Listen.

With the secretarial candidates
the last few weeks

Charlie says he's been
asking questions about

remembering names and numbers.

He's worrying about short term
memory loss, right?

It's one of the effects of...

Yeah.

Okay.

Anything else?

Come home.

We're on our way.

Don't worry, I'll have
Jews for the money stuff?

You have an inadvertent habit
of putting down my Judaism

by implying that you have

a sharper anti-Semitism
meter than I do.

You know, the Ancient Hebrews

had a word
for Jews from Westport.

They pronounced it Presbyterian.

And by saying
things like that.

I'm just saying
I'm from Brighton Beach.

Well, Mohammed
al Mohammed

el Mohammed bin Bizir
doesn't make the distinction

when he suits up
in the morning.

As long as you have a good grasp

of the complexity
of that situation.

What the hell are
the two of you talking about?

I assure you
neither one of us knows.

MAN:
All aboard!

Tyler, assure me there's
going to be no trouble.

There's going to be no trouble.

The train runs
on regular train fuel.

I'm pretty sure.

You guys don't have your very
own international dateline

in Bloomington
or anything?

No.

In that case, on behalf
of Bartlet for America

and the Democratic Party

I want to thank you
for your help

and tell you
that you're a good guy

and good luck to you.

Thanks.
I'm going to go
find seats.

Take it easy.

Mr. Lyman, Mr. Ziegler.

Call me Josh.

Toby. I work
at the White House.

Yeah, can I tell
you something?

People are going to think
you're a lot cooler

if you don't say that yourself

but rather let them
find out on their own.

Okay.

The engineer knows the route?

Josh, Toby,
on my girlfriend's life

your troubles end
98 miles right down that track.

Nancy.

Leo.
Yeoman Fitzwallace.

Dr. McNally.

Let's attack.

Who?

Qumar. Let's recommend
to the President that we attack.

Why?
'Cause I've had it.

I don't think the UN is going to
let us do it for that reason.

That's 'cause you're a sissy.

You want peace
in the Middle East?

Give me a pair

of third generation
ICBM's and a compass.

You get B-2 Spirit stealth
bombers over Qumar right now

as if the Qumari
Air Defense System

requires
stealth capability.

Just fly in at night,
and while you're at it

could you order
the USS Louisiana to fire off

a D-5 Trident
just to see if it works?

What's the worst
that could happen?

Is she talking to me?

Yes!

Well, 98%
of all living organisms

within a seven mile radius
would die instantly

in a torrent of fire.

Admiral Sissymary...

We're running out
of options on the menu.

What's happened?

There's intel that says
that Qumar has a tape.

Of what?

A cell phone call

that Shareef
made from the plane.

There isn't.

We disabled the phones.

We monitored communication
from the plane

we bugged Shareef
and we replaced

his cell phone
battery

with a dummy.

There's no tape,
there was no phone call.

Why are they saying there is?

It's to provoke a response,
right?

Yeah.
And they're using
the Act V

scene from Hamlet?
Are these Batman villains?

They're building a case for sure

but I think we got
to start talking about

there's something worse
than Qumar saying it was us.

She's right.

What?

Qumar saying
it was someone else.

You have to be
more specific than that.

Mr. President, in my state
the only ones making inroads

into keep kids in school
and off drugs are the churches

and the synagogues
and the mosques.

They have terrific
programs--

and until we find
a better one, let me fund those.

We're going to talk
about it around here

but I wouldn't...

Yes, sir.
Okay.

Thank you, sir.
Thank you.

How are the
interviews
going?

I met with two women
this morning on the plane

I'm meeting another
in a little bit.

Are either of this
morning's women
possibilities?

No.
Why?

Well, the first one
isn't easily impressed.

What makes you say that?

She told me.
The second one
wasn't funny.

She wasn't funny?
Or rather, didn't
think I was.

You told a joke?

She was the secretary
to an Ambassador to France.

I told her that I'd had dinner
with the D'Astier

at the Elysée Palace.

She gently corrected
me at that point

calling it the
Palais de l'Elysée--

for that alone, I
wanted to send for
a parachute.

And I made a joke to D'Astier
having to do with cheese

and I said that D'Astier
was visibly insulted

and that he was
reconsidering my
diplomatic status

and she said
"Well, did he?"

She didn't get
you were joking.

It didn't bode well for me.

Who's this
afternoon?

A... crazy woman
that Charlie knows.

Hey, do we have a GPS readout
on Josh and Toby?

Have they been sighted?

I talked to them
a little while ago

they're on their way.

300 IQ points
between them--

they can't find
their way home.

I swear to God,
if Donna wasn't there

they'd have to buy a house.

( sighs )

"You've got to be able

"to keep a lot of names
and numbers in your head.

Can you do that?"

"Oh, I should think so."

Oh, should you?

Okay, well, I'm going
to interview a few more people

and in the meantime,
you can get your ass

back on the cover
of The New Yorker
where it belongs.

Was that Unimpressed
One, or Humorless?

A third one.

Charlie says I don't want anyone
to replace her.

Is that true?
I don't know, Sam.

I'm a puzzle.

Yes, sir.

DONNA:
All right,
I've got a plan.

We're going to switch
trains in Bedford.

We will then be going
in the right direction.

We're not going
to make the 6:15

that was a pipe dream;
that was folly.

Now, there's a 9:30
leaving Indianapolis
International

with a 45 minute
layover in Chicago.

Although the ticket
agent warned

that the flight
could be delayed
due to bad weather.

What are the chances of that?

Well, for what
it's worth

the guy in the diner said

the reason the picture
on the TV was fuzzy...

No, no!

Quaint is quaint,
but we're not

Navajo Indian guides, and if
we want weather information

we'll call the White House
Operations Center.

Well, we can do that
when we get to a pay phone

but we can't do that right now.

Why not?

Because my...
Cell phone battery's out.

Yes.

I need
information.

I need to know what's
happening in the world--
I have no idea

what's happening
in the world!

I bought you the paper.

I read it!
Preparations

are under way for the fair--
I'm briefed.

Organizers say it's going to be
the best one yet.

What else you got?

Frivolous law firms.

What?

He meant to say
"frivolous law suits"

and he said
"frivolous law firms."

Who?

Benjamin Disraeli.

He misspeaks.

Yes, he does.

He also thinks
Sarajevo and Bosnia

are two different
countries

so that's a bit of a
setback for the region.

Yes.

Chamberlain led England
in World War II.

I don't mind that

he doesn't know history

I mind that he hasn't
seen a movie.

"Mexico is part of NATO."

He meant they were an ally.

What, did they lob a chalupa
at the Warsaw Pact?

I agree,
it's not impressive

but as you pointed out

he's going to be
surrounded by...

Do you think he's ever disagreed
with one of his advisors?

Do you think-- honestly--
do you think he's ever said

to one of his advisors
"I've got a different idea?!"

I-I don't care if he
thinks Luxembourg's

an uptown stop on the IRT.

And I don't care about the
Greco-Roman wrestling matches

with the language-- not that
polished communication skills

are an important part
of this job-- what I care about

is when he was asked
if he'd continue

the current U.S.
policy in China

and he said "First off, I'm
going to send them a message--

meet an American leader."

I don't know what that means,
but everybody cheered.

Which is one of the reasons

that I work full time
for his opponent.

I don't know what gave you
the impression

that I had to be convinced,
but I want to win.

You want to beat him,
and that's

a problem for me,
because I want to win.

DONNA:
Can I get

approval of my travel plan?

Yeah.

"A rising tide sinks all boats."

FIDERER:
Is it all right to ask
what he did for a year?

What do you mean?

He's been without a secretary
for a year.

The President
has five secretaries.

Four of then funnel their work
through the executive secretary.

He has five secretaries?

He has two
research secretaries

a social secretary,
and a scheduler.

The scheduler has
an assistant

whose job it is
to keep the book.

What's "the book"?

It's the daily diary.

It's a minute by
minute accounting

of what the President
did that day.

"10:25, placed a phone call
to the Fed Chair."

What about
private stuff?

We've got euphemisms.

Every once in a while,
there'll be a fluke
cancellation

some kind of gap in
the President's schedule

and the President
and the First Lady

might slip over...
You know.

For a "matinee"?

Yeah.

What do you call it?

"Barbecuing."

Okay.

MAN:
The payment

and settlement systems
worked fine.

The Dow's price/earnings
is around 35.

The historical average is 18.

This isn't a crisis.

It's investors getting
back to common sense.

Well, it's an election
year, Bill.

We'd rather people didn't
exercise common sense

but I agree with
what you're saying.

Thank you, Mr. President.

Sir?

Yes?

Deborah Fiderer.

Really?
Yes, sir.

All right.

Mr. President.

Hi.

Debbie.

Hello.

You two know each other?

Debbie worked
for Donald McKittridge.

She's... very interesting.

Her resume's impressive;
I remember thinking

she was efficient
and creative.

She's the one who
found Charlie.

I remember people
talked about her a lot.

They found her
pretty strange.

But I remember
thinking

that I didn't find
her that strange.

You know I can
hear you, right?

( quietly ):
I'm in your corner.

( clears throat )

You're
the alpaca farmer.

It was something I
tried for a while.

You hired Charlie, huh?

Well, I worked
in the Office of
Presidential Personnel

and he'd come into
the wrong office.

He'd been called in
about a job as a messenger.

I didn't know that.

Yeah.

We started talking;
it doesn't take long to see

he's a special kid,
so I sent him to Josh Lyman.

Well, thanks
for that.

Yes, sir.

Who was in second place?

Who did I almost get?

Sir?
I like to think

about the road
not taken.

You're testing
my memory.

Yeah.

It was a young man
named David Dweck.

David Dweck?
I used to call him

"David Dweck Want
a Dwink of Wa Wa"

until I realized
that wasn't really funny.

( knock on door )

Excuse me, Mr. President;
you said you wanted...

Yeah.

Hong Kong's down 4%,
but it's still over 10,000.

It's too early
to tell anything.

The Nikkei's down 2%,
the dollar's down

.3% against the yen;
.4% against the Euro.

Frankfurt opens in
eight hours.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Sorry.

Why were you fired?

I'm sorry?

Why were you fired?

No particular reason.

That doesn't sound
quite right.

No?

Why were you
fired?
Is it relevant?

Only because you're
asking for a job.

Chronic lateness.

I don't
believe you.

It's true.
No, it's not.

You call me a liar to my face?

Yes.

Okay.

Charlie said it was
because of him.

He did?
He said you
hired him

and that's why
you got fired.

Charlie makes things up.

No, he doesn't.

He's a bad seed.

I knew it the moment
I saw him.

I'm now ordering
you to tell me

why you were fired.

Well, I'm afraid we're
at a classic impasse,
Mr. President.

You were strange the
first time I met you,
and you're strange now.

Hey, the first time you met me
there was a good reason.

What?

I was high.

Okay.

This time,
it's just me.

Tell me why you
were fired.

No, sir.
I'm going to figure
it out anyway.

What I lack in memory,
I more than make up for

with exceptional powers
of deductive reasoning.

That come with tights
and a cape?

All right.

I think the interview's over.

Yeah.

But let's do this
every once in a while.

Thank you
very much.

Debbie.

Mr. McKittridge...

What are you doing here?

I-I was...
I was interviewing...
I brought her in.

Charlie, how many times
do we have to...
Hang on.

I know, but I brought her in.

It doesn't matter.
I'm not getting the...

It does matter--
there's a way it works.

Brian Dweck, CFO of Colfax

and contributor to
Representative Mark McKittridge

whose brother

is the Director
of the White House

Office of Presidential
Personnel, wants a job

for his son, David--
"Wants a Drink of Wa Wa."

My powers of deduction

are not to
be mocked.
Mr. President

I assure you,
whatever she told you...

She didn't tell me anything.

I ordered her to, and she...

By the way, my powers
of ordering are a joke.

I can create an agency,
but I can't get her to...

She didn't give you up.

She, um...

she didn't give you up.

( door closes )

Was she funny?

Have the agents stop her
at the door for a second.

Debbie.

Yes, sir.

Where's the dollar?

I'm sorry, sir?

What's the dollar
doing right now?

Oh, it's down; .3%
against the yen

.4% against the Euro.

NANCY:
Mr. President...

the First Lady's back.

( chuckles ):
Bring her on.

That's when it's scheduled.

Probably more like 8:30

and he's going to speak
for 15 minutes.

Any comment on the
CBO deficit numbers?

Last OMB was $11 billion off.

CBO missed by $25 billion.

There's going to be a deficit,
but the CBO numbers are off.

Legislative appropriations?

He can't say
until he sees the bill.

All right,
that's a full lid.

I'll see you all over there.

Hang on a second.

Okay, today at 5:32 PM
Central Savings Time

two pipe bombs were set off
inside the Geiger Indoor Arena

which is the swimming team's
facility

at Kennison State University.

The Kennison Hawkeyes.

The women's team
was hosting a match.

A meet with Illinois, Michigan
and Minnesota.

They're all Big Ten schools.

44 people are dead.

Looks like about 100 injured,
about 20 critically.

I'm going
to have to listen in

while I talk to you.

Barry, then Sydney, then Fran.

I didn't say
I wasn't going.

I said I could live without it.

It sounded like
you weren't going.

I forgot about it is all.

Did you have
other plans?

As a matter of fact,
I did.

I was planning a quiet night...

Watching your cooking show.

It's not just a cooking show,
all right?

It's very relaxing.

The woman is sublime.

If you ask me

it's soft porn.

No one needs to massage
garlic oil into a leg of lamb

that much, on
top of which...

Hold on.

Why is she still on?

Well, the information
that they were pipe bombs

is coming from...

We're getting
both Campus Information

and Cedar Rapids police and fire

but I don't know
any more details

on the type of pipe bombs
or the extent of damage...

Find out what happened.

...getting
specifics soon.

None of that has been confirmed.

Emergency squads
are still on the scene

treating the minor...
uh, injured.

Witnesses
are saying

there were swimmers
in the water

at the time of
the explosion.

I don't think
there's been much discussion

about motives or suspects.

There's been no mention
of any...

* The silicon chip
inside her head... *

DONNA:
I don't understand
the two of you.

JOSH:
We had to get out.

He can't read
in a moving car.

DONNA:
You can't read
in a moving car.

He can--
he was reading to us.

I need it to come in
through my eyes.

You couldn't wait
three blocks?

645 points.

Did it say how, how much
the percentage drop was?

It did, but by the
time I got there

my newspaper
no longer had

the molecular structure
of a newspaper.

Yes, can I help you?

Yes, please,
we need a room.

Is that two rooms?

No, just the one

for what did we decide,
half an hour?

Our, our flight, our
flight was delayed

and we're just looking
for someplace to dry off
and watch the news.

* ...Tell me why
I don't like Mondays... *

If the Nikkei
hasn't reacted...

* ...Tell me why
I don't like Mondays *

* I don't like, I don't like *

* I don't like Mondays
too much *

* I don't like Mondays *

* I wanna shoot...

( thunder rumbling )

PRESIDENT:
...restoring abundance
amid an economic shortfall

securing peace
in a time of global conflict

sustaining hope in this winter
of anxiety and fear.

More than any time

in recent history

America's destiny
is not of our own choosing.

We did not seek,
nor did we provoke

an assault on our freedom
and our way of life.

We did not expect

nor did we invite
a confrontation with evil.

Yet the true measure

of a people's
strength

is how they rise
to master that moment

when it does arrive.

44 people were killed
a couple of hours ago

at Kennison State University.

Three swimmers
from the men's team were killed

and two others
are in critical condition.

When, after having heard
the explosion

from their practice facility

they ran into the fire
to help get people out.

Ran into the fire.

The streets of heaven are too
crowded with angels tonight.

They're our students
and our teachers

and our parents
and our friends.

The streets of heaven
are too crowded with angels

but every time we think

we've measured our capacity
to meet a challenge

we look up and we're reminded

that that capacity
may well be limitless.

This is a time
for American heroes.

We will do
what is hard.

We will achieve
what is great.

This is a time
for American heroes

and we reach for the stars.

God bless their memory,
God bless you

and God bless
the United States of America.

Thank you.

* ...I don't like Mondays... *

When did you write
that last part?

In the car.

Freak.

* ...I wanna shoot...

Anthony

I'm so sorry.

Thank you for waiting.

This thing came up
at the last minute.

A bomb
at a swimming meet.

You probably...

I can take you home now.

You probably saw it here

on the television sets.

You know...

I really miss Simon, too.

That's... probably
something we can talk about.

I asked around today.

I wasn't able to find anyone,
but I'm not done.

There are more people
I'm asking tomorrow.

I'll take you home now.

( mumbling )

I'm sorry?

I said I don't need
a baby-sitter, bitch.

Are you deaf?

Well, I don't think
you do need a baby-sitter.

What the hell
is the matter...?

This is Ms. Cregg.

She's the White House
Press Secretary

and Senior Counsel

to the President.

And if she wasn't,
she would still be Ms. Cregg.

I don't mind
you not respecting people.

I mind you doing it out loud.

I mind you doing it
in this building.

You want to be a punk, fine

but I don't think
you've got the size for it.

You want to go to juvey,
get out, deal and kill cops

okay, but every time
you do a crime, you get caught

so, I think you're going
to have to do something else.

9:00 on Saturday mornings

I eat breakfast
at Cosmos on Delaware.

I come here for an hour,
do office work

and then I go to St. Jude's
for an hour to play basketball.

You can go to juvey,
or you can be at Cosmos

9:00 on Saturday morning.

It's entirely up to you.

( exhales )

Shmutsy pants.

I know that voice.

I was at the dinner.

I didn't see you.

Nice job on the speech.

What makes you think I wrote it?

"We did not seek,
nor did we provoke

"we did not expect

nor did we invite..."

A little thing called cadence.

It works for you.

How's New York?

Richard got traded

to the Blackhawks.

For a Zamboni battery?

And Garniér

and a first round draft pick.

So you're moving to Chicago.

Richard and I split.

That is terrible.

That is...
the worst thing.

I am so sorry.

I liked him, too--

his brooding stare
in the penalty box.

If there's anything
I can do.

Shut up.

Okay.

I came by to say hi.

I came by to tell you
I liked the speech.

Thank you very much.

My dad said you staffed
the President today.

Yes.
How was it?

You know anything
about chaos theory?

I know it has to do
with fractal geometry.

That's about all
I know, too.

But it has to do with
there being order

and even... great beauty,
in what looks like total chaos.

And if we look closely enough
at the randomness around us

patterns will start to emerge.

( sighs )

I love Josh like a brother

and he's a world-class
political mind

but until today, I didn't know
he was smarter than I was.

I've worked here three years
and eight months

and until you sit
in the room all day

you can't comprehend
the chaos of the Oval Office.

I had one good moment
talking about

the global ripple effect
of a budget deficit,
but that was it.

The rest of the day
was just keeping up.

And this was a pretty light day.

One good moment is good.

Oh, I'm not complaining.

I'm saying,
one good moment is great.

It's a golf shot.

I've got to get back in there.

That's where it's happening.

You came by just to tell me
you liked the speech?

"This is a time
for American heroes

and we reach for the stars"?

I'm weak.

Yeah, I think I stole that
from Camelot.

( exhales )

Let me get you home.

I don't think you're
going to make it.

Yeah. I don't think I'm
going to make it, either.

Camelot?

Good writers borrow
from other writers.

Great writers
steal from them outright.

MALLORY:
Good night, Charlie.

Good night, Charlie.

Take it easy.

( paper rustling )

The picture's from Deanna.
I just put it in a frame.

I've had it in my office
for about a week.

I just keep forgetting

to give it to you.

Thanks.

It's nice.

Have a good night.

Good night.

( music playing )

JOSH:
Campaigns aren't
about the candidates.

TOBY:
No?

They're about the voters.

How-how are we going
to create jobs?

How-how are we going
to fix health care?

How are we going to make
the lights go on?

How are we going
to protect ourselves?

Don't you want to ask
if the plumber knows

which direction
the pipes run?

Don't you...?
Forget the plumber.

Don't... ( sighs )...
we want leadership

to sound and to feel like

instead of appealing
to our-our least expensive

however legitimate, desire
to feel good about ourselves?

Don't we want...?

All right, that's it,
I can't take it.

He started it.

I'm not kidding.

I have such an impulse to
knock your heads together.

I can't remember the last time

I heard you two talk
about anything other than

how a campaign was
playing in Washington.

Cathy needed
to take a second job

so her dad could be covered
by her insurance.

She tried to tell you
how bad things were

for family farmers.

You told her we
already lost Indiana.

You made fun of the fair

but you didn't see
they have livestock exhibitions

and give prizes
for the biggest tomato

and the best heirloom apple.

They're proud of what they grow.

Eight modes of transportation,
the kindness of six strangers...

random conversations
with twelve more

and nobody brought up Bartlet
versus Ritchie but you.

I'm writing letters,
on your behalf

to the parents of the kids
who were killed today.

Can I have the table, please?

Flight's delayed?

Yeah.

Me, too.

I'm going to St. Louis.

Washington.

I'm with my daughter.

She's up, uh, upstairs
in the room

but we were out here
looking at Notre Dame.

Yeah?

You got kids?

No.

Wait till you take your oldest
to look at colleges.

It's an incredible feeling.

You wish they'd go to college

across the street
from your house

but you know.
Yeah.

A Jack Daniels rocks.

Yeah.

My boss went
to Notre Dame.

Beautiful campus.

I've never seen anything
like it.

( chuckles ):
She-she's not going
to get to sleep tonight.

You see what happened
in the market today?

Yeah, I-I saw.

You invested?

Ehh...

Mutual fund that's supposed
to send her to college.

I never imagined
at $55,000 a year

I'd have trouble
making ends meet.

And my wife brings in
another 25.

( sighs ):
My son's

in public school.

It's no good.

I mean, there's 37 kids
in the class

uh, no art and music

no advanced placement
classes.

Other kids, their mother
has to make them

practice the piano.

You can't pull my son away
from the piano.

He needs teachers.

And I spend half the day
thinking about

what happens if I slip
and fall down

on my own front porch

you know?

It should be hard.

I like
that it's hard.

Putting your daughter
through college

that-that's a man's job.

A man's accomplishment.

But it should be
a little easier.

Just a little easier.

'Cause in that difference
is... everything.

I'm sorry.

I'm, uh, I-I'm Matt Kelley.

( chuckles softly )

I'm Toby Ziegler.

I work at the White House.

Have a minute to talk?

We'd, uh... like
to buy you a beer.

Hey.

McNALLY:
Good morning,
Mr. President.

FITZWALLACE:
Good morning, sir.

LEO:
Good morning, sir.

The happy fun group.

We have reason to believe
that in the next 48 hours

the Qumari rescue team
will announce

that they've recovered
a military-issue

Israeli-made
parachute.

They're just allowed
to make things up now?

As long as we
won't step up

and say it was us, they do.

They know it was us, right?

Yeah.

Is that what you think
we should do?

Me?
Yeah.

No, I don't.

I am, however,
beginning to lean towards

reducing our nuclear arsenal
one at a time

if you know
what I mean, sir.

What about you?

Well, I'm with Dr. Strangelove

on keeping
our military secrets secret.

But Nancy and Leo and I
think there's a third option

which is to say it was us
but insulate you.

I signed a piece of paper, Fitz.

We can get around that.

You just hated
my living guts

when I got this job,
didn't you?

No, sir.

Yeah, you did.

I didn't know anything

and I didn't have any
respect for the Chiefs.

You became my counselor
and you wrangled

the Chiefs and you
brought them to me.

You got the Chiefs, sir.
They respect you.

You brought them to me.

And you talked Leo
into Shareef

and he talked me into it.

It was my order

and you executed it
flawlessly

and I stand by it.

I stand by you,
I stand by you all.

I stand by it till I die.

Plus,
I'm going to need

some cell mates in Holland.

So, what do we do now?

We're in the situation room.

Let's go.

JOSH:
You're telling me, we
couldn't have just gone

to the nearest
Chinese restaurant

picked up some Kikkoman

and poured it in that
soy diesel thing?

I don't think it
works like that.

Plus, how close
do you think

the nearest Chinese
restaurant was?

Well, we should start making
cars that run on ketchup.

When I get home

I'm taking the
longest hot bath
of my life.

Excuse me, would you mind

letting me off
up there

at the bridge?

DRIVER:
You sure?

Yeah. I can walk to work
from there.

Yeah, I'll hop out there, too.

Oh, please,
not this again.

JOSH:
Hey, you're the one
who did the number

back at the bar.

It didn't have
anything to do

with eliminating
modern conveniences.

She can drop you off
at home.

I'll get out
with them up here.

If our job teaches us anything,
it's that we don't know

what the next President's
going to face.

And if we choose someone
with vision, someone with guts

someone with gravitas

who's connected
to other people's lives

and cares about making
them better

if we chose someone
to inspire us

then we'll be able to face
what comes our way

and achieve things...
we can't imagine yet.

Instead of telling people
who's the most qualified

instead of telling people
who's got the better ideas

let's make it obvious.

It's going to be hard.

Then we'll do
what's hard.