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Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
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- Papa, I need the bathroom!
- Come on, get out!
3
00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:20,669
I like to boogie with my peeps
Cruise and Creep
4
00:01:20,744 --> 00:01:23,008
Playin'three-Cardmoney
on these Crazy streets
5
00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:25,173
Greathustler
I'm gonna sCam in a minute
6
00:01:25,249 --> 00:01:27,342
So low to the floor
PiCk the poCket on a midget
7
00:01:27,417 --> 00:01:29,851
SliCkshyster
The PestMeister
8
00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:32,912
Living life in Miami's viCe
Ma, see
9
00:01:32,990 --> 00:01:36,084
Nobodymesses with the frog, see
Where'syour Messiahnow
10
00:01:42,599 --> 00:01:47,468
NiCelady, I'm hurting
I'msexybutl'm hurting
11
00:01:47,537 --> 00:01:51,496
Allright, alreadyl'm "ridiCuliCulous"
Likeabooger, IstiCk to this
12
00:01:52,409 --> 00:01:56,436
Takea whiffofthis
I'mstinky dinky
13
00:01:56,513 --> 00:01:59,846
Twostinky dinky
14
00:02:02,252 --> 00:02:05,881
Voodoo Mambo
Chili Congo
15
00:02:05,956 --> 00:02:08,720
OldsChoolbeatmeets Latin freak
andyoudon'tstop
16
00:02:14,564 --> 00:02:18,796
OldsChoolbeatmeets Latin freak
Youdon'tquitandyoudon'tstop
17
00:02:18,869 --> 00:02:22,669
Mirror, mirroron the wall
whois thesliCkestofthem all
18
00:02:22,739 --> 00:02:26,869
It's thesChemingestkeenestsCam artist
God, it's so hard to be modest!
19
00:02:26,944 --> 00:02:29,378
JaCkmaybenimble
butl'm asexsymbol
20
00:02:29,446 --> 00:02:31,573
SosliCk Istole the wiCk
from his CandlestiCk
21
00:02:31,648 --> 00:02:35,744
I'm in themoodtosCam
simplybeCause ICan
22
00:02:35,819 --> 00:02:37,411
I'm the Latin Houdini
23
00:02:37,487 --> 00:02:40,581
Disappearina flash withyour Cash
andl'm baCk likeagenie
24
00:02:40,657 --> 00:02:44,388
Lucy, I'm home!
Don't do that to me, Lucy!
25
00:02:44,461 --> 00:02:46,395
Freak to the east
Freak to the west
26
00:02:46,463 --> 00:02:48,693
Freakbigbootiesandbig Chest
27
00:02:48,765 --> 00:02:52,826
Yes, y'all, and it's like that!
Why, certainly!
28
00:02:52,903 --> 00:02:57,169
Getstupid, getretarded
'Cause Pest'llget thepartystarted
29
00:02:57,240 --> 00:03:00,835
Which way did he go, George?
Which way did he go?
30
00:03:01,745 --> 00:03:05,010
- FunkadoCious, grooviloCiousatroCious
- What a maroon!
31
00:03:05,082 --> 00:03:08,176
What a maroon! What a freak!
32
00:03:08,251 --> 00:03:10,048
What a sucker-butt!
33
00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:11,917
I'm theman ofamillion disguises
34
00:03:11,989 --> 00:03:15,015
I'm as Crazyas theymake them
orshake them orbreak them
35
00:03:15,092 --> 00:03:17,856
SosCientific, hate tobespeCific
E=mC2
36
00:03:17,928 --> 00:03:21,864
Multiply, divideit, slide up insideit
blendit, mixit
37
00:03:21,932 --> 00:03:25,197
- Damn, I'm terrific
- Pestario!
38
00:03:25,268 --> 00:03:27,463
Did somebody summon me?
39
00:03:27,537 --> 00:03:28,970
Hello, Cleavers.
40
00:03:29,039 --> 00:03:30,631
Hello, June.
41
00:03:30,707 --> 00:03:33,073
Hello, Ward.
42
00:03:33,143 --> 00:03:35,907
Oh, I see Eddie Haskell is here.
43
00:03:37,814 --> 00:03:40,681
I'm so proud.
My son, the delivery boy.
44
00:03:40,751 --> 00:03:43,015
Your mom's birthday's coming up.
45
00:03:43,086 --> 00:03:45,145
What areyou gonna steal
for her this year?
46
00:03:45,222 --> 00:03:48,623
I don't know. I haven't decided yet.
Ma, what doyou want?
47
00:03:48,692 --> 00:03:51,456
- Surprise me.
- I will!
48
00:03:51,528 --> 00:03:55,897
Pestario, you'rejust
a common hustler.
49
00:03:57,601 --> 00:04:00,832
There is nothing common
about the way I dance!
50
00:04:02,606 --> 00:04:04,369
Shall we?
51
00:04:14,785 --> 00:04:16,252
Mom!
52
00:04:16,319 --> 00:04:17,616
Great.
53
00:04:17,687 --> 00:04:20,520
That was nasty.
Look at the time.
54
00:04:20,590 --> 00:04:25,084
So long, my family. I must go to work.
Love, peace and chicken grease.
55
00:04:32,102 --> 00:04:34,366
Good morning, Pestario.
56
00:04:46,850 --> 00:04:50,308
Mr. Shank, we've been searching
for hours.
57
00:04:50,387 --> 00:04:54,790
No one in this neighborhood
will fulfill our needs.
58
00:04:54,858 --> 00:04:57,326
Perhaps we should return home?
59
00:04:57,394 --> 00:04:59,157
You're too impatient, Leo.
60
00:04:59,229 --> 00:05:01,891
A good hunter must always remember...
61
00:05:01,965 --> 00:05:06,231
the most challenging prey is often
the most difficult to find.
62
00:05:13,477 --> 00:05:17,277
Father Shillelagh.
How areyour Blarney stones?
63
00:05:19,149 --> 00:05:24,416
I wanted to thankyou personally
for helping at the church bazaar.
64
00:05:24,488 --> 00:05:27,651
- It was bizarre, wasn't it?
- Yes, it was.
65
00:05:27,724 --> 00:05:30,921
You know, your booth
made more money than any other.
66
00:05:30,994 --> 00:05:32,962
What can I say?
67
00:05:33,029 --> 00:05:36,897
It was impossible to knock down
those milk bottles.
68
00:05:36,967 --> 00:05:40,027
You don't suppose
it was divine intervention?
69
00:05:40,103 --> 00:05:42,071
Father, ifthis is the way
you keep secrets...
70
00:05:42,139 --> 00:05:45,802
I'm gonna save myjuicy confessions
for Father Garcia.
71
00:05:45,876 --> 00:05:49,937
I'll sail away now. Lucky Charms,
they're magically delicious!
72
00:05:50,013 --> 00:05:51,947
Bless you, my son.
73
00:05:53,016 --> 00:05:54,278
I think.
74
00:05:54,351 --> 00:05:57,218
Children! Such carefree exuberance.
75
00:05:57,287 --> 00:05:59,687
Such pure innocence at play.
76
00:06:02,259 --> 00:06:04,420
Those little runts.
I'll teach 'em.
77
00:06:04,494 --> 00:06:08,658
Hey, moron, we need one more
for basketball.
78
00:06:08,732 --> 00:06:11,530
You're with the fat loser-boy.
79
00:06:11,601 --> 00:06:15,935
- Why do they call you fat loser-boy?
- I think because I'm fat and neverwin.
80
00:06:16,006 --> 00:06:19,874
We're gonna change that.
The part about neverwinning.
81
00:06:19,943 --> 00:06:23,140
Betyour lunches.
First point wins.
82
00:06:25,882 --> 00:06:29,818
All right, you son ofa freak,
no fouls, no calls, no outs. Check.
83
00:06:29,886 --> 00:06:31,319
Sucker!
84
00:06:58,048 --> 00:07:03,111
What? It's all your fault! Lfyou were
a good player, maybe we would've won.
85
00:07:03,186 --> 00:07:07,122
We won! We won!
Give meyour lunches.
86
00:07:07,190 --> 00:07:10,523
That'll teach you a lesson.
Get outta here!
87
00:07:12,028 --> 00:07:15,828
Don't worry, they'll never call you
a loser again.
88
00:07:15,899 --> 00:07:18,094
Thanks, mister.
89
00:07:18,168 --> 00:07:21,331
Hey, mister, wait a minute.
I'm stuck.
90
00:07:27,811 --> 00:07:31,110
- Is that the Mack Daddy pimp?
- What's up?
91
00:07:31,181 --> 00:07:34,617
- What's up?
- Lunch is on me, freaks.
92
00:07:34,684 --> 00:07:39,678
So where is my super-scam
shell game apparatus?
93
00:07:39,756 --> 00:07:42,350
Pest, don't doubt me.
We got it.
94
00:07:44,194 --> 00:07:47,891
Excellent, man.
This scam is foolproof.
95
00:07:47,964 --> 00:07:51,161
I'm gonna be the King ofCorruption.
The Duke of Deception.
96
00:07:51,234 --> 00:07:55,830
Whoa. Pest, that's whatyou say
about all your scams.
97
00:07:55,905 --> 00:08:00,865
- What aboutyour bets with the mob?
- Yeah. You owe them $50,000.
98
00:08:00,944 --> 00:08:02,878
Areyou guys my accountants?
99
00:08:02,946 --> 00:08:07,007
For God's sake, have a little faith
in the Pest. A little faith.
100
00:08:07,083 --> 00:08:09,381
I got all my bases covered.
I got contingency plans.
101
00:08:09,452 --> 00:08:12,717
Pest. All we're saying is that...
102
00:08:12,789 --> 00:08:15,019
this scamming thing's dangerous.
103
00:08:15,091 --> 00:08:18,891
All right. Lfit will make my bestest
offriends feel better...
104
00:08:18,962 --> 00:08:24,400
I'm going to promise I'm never
going to scam again as long as I live.
105
00:08:24,467 --> 00:08:26,401
That would be good.
106
00:08:26,469 --> 00:08:29,632
- I'm proud ofyou.
- We can stop getting you out oftrouble.
107
00:08:29,706 --> 00:08:34,871
The key to this scam
is to convince people I am blind.
108
00:08:35,612 --> 00:08:37,045
You never learn.
109
00:08:41,117 --> 00:08:44,416
WelCome to the festivalofMiami.
110
00:09:07,977 --> 00:09:10,969
These people are all so teeny!
111
00:09:12,615 --> 00:09:15,209
There must be
a worthy candidate here.
112
00:09:20,223 --> 00:09:22,987
Pest, look, there's Xantha.
113
00:09:23,059 --> 00:09:24,788
Hey, baby! Hey, baby!
114
00:09:24,861 --> 00:09:26,829
We'll catch up toyou later.
115
00:09:28,031 --> 00:09:30,829
Hey, baby.
How's my Nubian bucket oflove?
116
00:09:30,900 --> 00:09:33,164
My ebony delight,
myAfricanicus romanticus.
117
00:09:33,236 --> 00:09:35,898
Where was your sorry Latin buttocks
last night?
118
00:09:35,972 --> 00:09:38,167
Baby, easywith the nagging.
119
00:09:38,241 --> 00:09:40,766
You missed dinnerwith my parents!
120
00:09:40,844 --> 00:09:44,905
Yeah! You missed dinner
with her parents last night, loser!
121
00:09:46,116 --> 00:09:48,914
Doyou mind ifl talk
to my girlfriend alone?
122
00:09:48,985 --> 00:09:51,510
Anything you have to say to me,
you can say in front of Malaria.
123
00:09:51,588 --> 00:09:53,852
- Anything?
- Anything!
124
00:09:53,923 --> 00:09:57,017
Fine. Malaria's got mossy teeth
and a fat butt!
125
00:09:57,861 --> 00:10:00,159
Thesejeans make me look fat.
126
00:10:00,230 --> 00:10:03,825
No, Malaria.
Your fat butt makes you look fat.
127
00:10:03,900 --> 00:10:05,834
Baby, I'm sorry.
128
00:10:05,902 --> 00:10:08,700
There's nothing more I want to do
than be with my girlfriend's parents.
129
00:10:08,772 --> 00:10:12,105
Let's reschedule a site for tomorrow.
Huh, curly locks?
130
00:10:12,175 --> 00:10:14,439
- Can't.
- Why?
131
00:10:20,417 --> 00:10:23,784
Baby, what a dufus! What a freak!
I totally forgot...
132
00:10:23,853 --> 00:10:25,514
Forget it. I'm outta here.
133
00:10:25,588 --> 00:10:28,284
Xantha-poo, come on, baby.
134
00:10:28,358 --> 00:10:30,326
I'll skip my previous commitment.
135
00:10:30,393 --> 00:10:32,861
Really?
You'll come to dinner?
136
00:10:32,929 --> 00:10:36,729
Absofreakinglutely. I'll makeyour
parents love me and ask me to marryyou.
137
00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:39,030
- How?
- I'll tell 'em you're pregnant.
138
00:10:39,102 --> 00:10:41,161
- What?
- He'll tell 'em you're pregnant.
139
00:10:41,237 --> 00:10:43,933
Pest-man, we gotta go. Sorry.
140
00:10:44,007 --> 00:10:45,941
Love, peace and chicken grease.
141
00:10:46,009 --> 00:10:47,442
Bye, honey.
142
00:10:47,510 --> 00:10:50,138
You're pregnant?
143
00:10:59,989 --> 00:11:01,616
Step right up.
144
00:11:01,691 --> 00:11:05,058
Money is flying out ofmy pocket.
Play the coconut shell game.
145
00:11:05,128 --> 00:11:07,062
There's a winner born every minute.
146
00:11:07,130 --> 00:11:10,361
I got $20 that says
I can find that ball.
147
00:11:10,433 --> 00:11:12,560
Okay, people, we've got a taker.
148
00:11:12,635 --> 00:11:17,538
Cross my hand, I fool the rich man,
poor man, but not the policeman.
149
00:11:17,607 --> 00:11:23,011
Which shell is it under?
You must tell me because I'm blind.
150
00:11:23,847 --> 00:11:27,214
Soccer boy, come here.
Yeah, you.
151
00:11:27,283 --> 00:11:29,513
- Oh, thereyou are.
- How'd you catch that ball?
152
00:11:29,586 --> 00:11:32,919
Telepathy. You lose one sense,
you gain another.
153
00:11:32,989 --> 00:11:36,220
- How'd you know I was male?
- I could hearyour gonads shaking.
154
00:11:36,292 --> 00:11:38,920
You should wear more support, shorty.
155
00:11:42,599 --> 00:11:45,727
Maybe, maybe.
Yeah, that's more like it.
156
00:11:47,203 --> 00:11:49,603
That is the specimen I want.
157
00:11:49,672 --> 00:11:53,369
Find out about him, and I'll make
the necessary preparations.
158
00:11:53,443 --> 00:11:55,172
Yes, Mr. Shank.
159
00:11:58,648 --> 00:12:00,616
Oh! What a pathetic choice.
160
00:12:02,385 --> 00:12:04,853
Which shell is it under?
161
00:12:04,921 --> 00:12:07,287
Sorry, sucker, you lose.
162
00:12:07,357 --> 00:12:09,154
No, you lose, brah!
163
00:12:09,225 --> 00:12:11,420
Did I hear something fall?
164
00:12:11,494 --> 00:12:13,052
Knock, knock. Who's there?
165
00:12:13,129 --> 00:12:15,290
We work forAngus.
Areyou Pest Vargas?
166
00:12:15,365 --> 00:12:17,299
Areyou the doctor?
167
00:12:17,367 --> 00:12:20,131
Oh, my, Grandma,
what large pores you have.
168
00:12:20,203 --> 00:12:22,433
Definitely not a plastic surgeon.
169
00:12:22,505 --> 00:12:25,167
Oh, my God, you're hideous.
Repulsive, even!
170
00:12:25,241 --> 00:12:27,903
You have a lump!
You poor misshapen creature!
171
00:12:27,977 --> 00:12:30,537
We can profit from your misfortune.
172
00:12:30,613 --> 00:12:34,447
For $1, take a picture
with Elephant Man in a kilt!
173
00:12:34,517 --> 00:12:35,779
Get him!
174
00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:39,317
Do something! You know karate!
175
00:12:43,192 --> 00:12:45,126
Angus wants his money.
176
00:12:45,194 --> 00:12:47,492
You wouldn't hit a blind man,
would you?
177
00:12:48,398 --> 00:12:51,492
How doyou feel about asthmatics?
I can't breathe!
178
00:12:52,669 --> 00:12:55,604
Emotionally-challenged people?
179
00:12:58,474 --> 00:13:01,671
What about epileptics?
Hold my tongue!
180
00:13:02,745 --> 00:13:05,737
- Get 'em!
- You guys are in trouble now.
181
00:13:05,815 --> 00:13:08,943
- Chubby and I will take care ofthem!
- Chubby and I?
182
00:13:09,919 --> 00:13:13,047
Let's air our differences, fellas.
183
00:13:44,053 --> 00:13:46,647
My favorite delivery boy.
184
00:13:46,723 --> 00:13:48,657
What happened toyou?
You late!
185
00:13:54,163 --> 00:13:56,290
Me loveyou long time.
186
00:13:56,366 --> 00:13:59,494
Wait. Why I don't understand
any ofyour Chinese?
187
00:14:00,703 --> 00:14:04,230
I from south. Different dialect.
Right? Everybody know that.
188
00:14:04,307 --> 00:14:07,208
So am I. I am from south, too.
189
00:14:07,276 --> 00:14:10,370
But I from far, far, far south!
190
00:14:10,446 --> 00:14:12,380
Eat some grits, y'all.
191
00:14:12,448 --> 00:14:14,382
Whereveryou come from,
you late for last time.
192
00:14:14,450 --> 00:14:19,114
You don't look Chinese. You look like
Moe from Three Stooges. You're fired.
193
00:14:19,188 --> 00:14:24,125
Please, give me another chance!
I'll never do it again, I promise.
194
00:14:24,193 --> 00:14:27,526
You don't know the troubles I've seen!
My grandmother's sick.
195
00:14:27,597 --> 00:14:30,225
I've got a good excuse this time.
Listen.
196
00:14:30,299 --> 00:14:33,200
I was taking a walkwith my pet dog...
197
00:14:33,269 --> 00:14:35,533
Duck. My duck!
198
00:14:35,605 --> 00:14:37,903
When he ranned offon me,
I was about to...
199
00:14:37,974 --> 00:14:40,636
Oh, my God!
200
00:14:40,710 --> 00:14:44,942
Quacky! Quacky!
What have they dided toyou?
201
00:14:45,014 --> 00:14:48,472
- Which one is he?
- I don't know.
202
00:14:48,551 --> 00:14:51,714
They all look the same!
203
00:14:54,157 --> 00:14:57,558
I'll have to call my lawyer
and tell him I can't find Quacky.
204
00:14:57,627 --> 00:14:59,060
Lawyer?
205
00:15:01,564 --> 00:15:04,055
This must be Quacky,
with that sweet little smile.
206
00:15:04,133 --> 00:15:05,566
Gimme that!
207
00:15:05,635 --> 00:15:09,765
Poor little Quacky. Don't worry.
I'll buryyou in France likeyou wanted.
208
00:15:09,839 --> 00:15:13,172
- You kill Quacky?
- No! L, I might have.
209
00:15:13,242 --> 00:15:16,643
- Why?
- I'm sorry.
210
00:15:16,713 --> 00:15:19,238
I loved little Quacky.
211
00:15:19,315 --> 00:15:21,146
- Mr. Cheung?
- Yes?
212
00:15:21,217 --> 00:15:23,185
- Can I talk toyou?
- Yes.
213
00:15:23,252 --> 00:15:26,483
Can I talk toyou over here?
Over here?
214
00:15:26,556 --> 00:15:29,081
- Over here?
- Okay.
215
00:15:29,158 --> 00:15:32,150
- Can I useyour phone?
- You're not calling your lawyer?
216
00:15:32,228 --> 00:15:33,661
Notyet.
217
00:15:33,730 --> 00:15:37,131
First I have to call my family
and tell them about...
218
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,395
About Quacky.
219
00:15:39,469 --> 00:15:41,664
Yes, ofcourse, ofcourse.
220
00:15:41,738 --> 00:15:45,003
Don't worry. Anything you need,
just let me know.
221
00:15:45,074 --> 00:15:48,043
- Okay, there is one thing.
- Yes?
222
00:15:48,111 --> 00:15:51,638
Quacky always wanted
to be served extra-crispy.
223
00:15:51,714 --> 00:15:53,648
- Could you do that?
- No problem.
224
00:15:53,716 --> 00:15:57,345
No MSG? An extra order ofrice?
Thankyou.
225
00:15:57,420 --> 00:16:01,117
You're verywelcome. Don't worry.
I take care ofyou.
226
00:16:01,190 --> 00:16:03,351
You're wonderful.
Really.
227
00:16:14,871 --> 00:16:16,702
Hello.
228
00:16:16,773 --> 00:16:18,468
Angusie?
229
00:16:19,809 --> 00:16:23,108
You rapscallion!
You naughty man, you!
230
00:16:23,179 --> 00:16:27,707
I'm hurted you sent ruffians after me.
I was gonna surpriseyou with a check!
231
00:16:27,784 --> 00:16:30,082
Listen. You've owed $50,000
for three weeks!
232
00:16:30,153 --> 00:16:33,554
You'd show more respect
ifwe were the Italian mob.
233
00:16:33,623 --> 00:16:35,386
Don't start again.
234
00:16:35,458 --> 00:16:38,052
People don't take us seriously
because we're Scottish.
235
00:16:39,228 --> 00:16:42,720
People will take us seriously
when they see what we do toyou.
236
00:16:42,799 --> 00:16:46,530
Angusie, homeinsky!
All I need is time.
237
00:16:46,602 --> 00:16:48,194
What is today?
238
00:16:48,271 --> 00:16:50,671
The first day ofthe rest
ofour lives?
239
00:16:51,674 --> 00:16:53,403
Sean Connery's birthday?
240
00:16:53,476 --> 00:16:55,535
Sean Connery's birthday?
241
00:17:07,523 --> 00:17:09,650
Listen. Today is Monday.
242
00:17:09,725 --> 00:17:13,092
I want the moneyWednesday
or I'll kill your family.
243
00:17:13,162 --> 00:17:15,790
How 'bout Thursday,
andyoujust take outa Cousin?
244
00:17:15,865 --> 00:17:18,891
Oh, bad connection.
245
00:17:18,968 --> 00:17:22,199
I bring you the cash...
I can't...
246
00:17:22,271 --> 00:17:23,602
Whatever.
247
00:17:24,707 --> 00:17:28,768
Extra-crispy.
Just likeyou wanted.
248
00:17:28,845 --> 00:17:31,143
My poor Quacky.
249
00:17:33,382 --> 00:17:36,044
Poor Quacky.
Can I get extra plum sauce?
250
00:17:36,118 --> 00:17:40,077
You have no time.
You have delivery to do! Go! Hurry!
251
00:17:40,156 --> 00:17:41,885
Plum sauce!
252
00:17:54,437 --> 00:17:56,462
Soon Ishallreturn...
253
00:17:56,539 --> 00:17:59,474
to the glorious dank splendor
ofthe homeland...
254
00:17:59,542 --> 00:18:03,535
and be away from
all this nauseating pastel.
255
00:18:03,613 --> 00:18:05,979
Excuse me.
256
00:18:06,048 --> 00:18:08,278
Your Chinese food has arrived.
257
00:18:08,351 --> 00:18:10,285
Yummy! Where?
258
00:18:13,356 --> 00:18:15,449
Got it, got it, got it!
259
00:18:15,524 --> 00:18:17,458
What is that?
260
00:18:17,526 --> 00:18:20,859
That's the oneyou requested.
The blind Latino.
261
00:18:20,930 --> 00:18:24,889
I most certainly did not!
I wanted the athletic Latino!
262
00:18:24,967 --> 00:18:28,835
- Butyou pointed at him.
- Whywould I pick a blind man?
263
00:18:28,905 --> 00:18:33,808
Sir, he's not really blind.
He's a scam artist.
264
00:18:33,876 --> 00:18:36,037
A very fast and agile one.
265
00:18:37,346 --> 00:18:41,806
Mr. Vargas here runs numbers out ofhis
Chinese restaurant, but unfortunately...
266
00:18:41,884 --> 00:18:44,284
some ofhis own bets
turned sour.
267
00:18:44,353 --> 00:18:47,686
- How sour?
- He owes the Scottish mob $50,000.
268
00:18:47,757 --> 00:18:50,851
I didn't know there was
a Scottish mob!
269
00:18:50,927 --> 00:18:53,361
lfhe doesn't pay in two days,
they'll kill him.
270
00:19:11,314 --> 00:19:13,976
- Hello!
- Hi!
271
00:19:14,050 --> 00:19:18,009
Just doing our MSG test.
Everything seems to pass inspection.
272
00:19:18,087 --> 00:19:20,146
That's $52.23 for the food...
273
00:19:20,222 --> 00:19:24,056
$100 delivery charge 'cause
we don't normally come out here.
274
00:19:24,126 --> 00:19:26,993
Why is that?
You afraid ofwhite people?
275
00:19:28,297 --> 00:19:32,233
'Causeyou all carry diseases
my people don't have immunities for.
276
00:19:32,301 --> 00:19:35,168
Perhaps you'rejust being paranoid.
277
00:19:35,237 --> 00:19:37,171
Could you back off?
278
00:19:37,239 --> 00:19:41,073
You spit when you talk.
I'm susceptible to airborne syphilises.
279
00:19:41,143 --> 00:19:43,270
" Pest." Is thatyour name...
280
00:19:43,346 --> 00:19:45,678
or a personality trait?
281
00:19:45,748 --> 00:19:48,376
My real name is
Pestario Rivera Garcia Espinoza...
282
00:19:48,451 --> 00:19:51,545
Juan Marcos Neruda Salsa Picante Vargas.
283
00:19:51,620 --> 00:19:55,249
Butyou can call me Pestario.
Pest, for shorter.
284
00:19:55,324 --> 00:19:56,757
Now we're even.
285
00:19:57,827 --> 00:20:01,422
What is a Latin boy doing
delivering Chinese food?
286
00:20:01,497 --> 00:20:03,089
Chinese food?
287
00:20:04,967 --> 00:20:07,026
Oh, my God!
288
00:20:07,103 --> 00:20:09,731
The MSG, the chopsticks,
the disappearing dogs!
289
00:20:09,805 --> 00:20:13,400
Now it all makes sense. And I thought
theywere eccentric Mexicans.
290
00:20:13,476 --> 00:20:16,741
What a fool!
What a sucker-butt!
291
00:20:16,812 --> 00:20:20,908
Oh, a hot wench!
Yeah, baby!
292
00:20:20,983 --> 00:20:22,575
Mywife!
293
00:20:22,651 --> 00:20:24,551
Oops! I'm bad.
294
00:20:24,620 --> 00:20:25,882
Sorry.
295
00:20:25,955 --> 00:20:29,948
- I sawyou earlier today on the street.
- You did?
296
00:20:30,026 --> 00:20:34,759
You probably didn't see me
becauseyou were blind at the time.
297
00:20:34,830 --> 00:20:38,926
Soyou unearthed my horrible secret.
298
00:20:39,001 --> 00:20:40,935
I am blind! I am!
299
00:20:41,003 --> 00:20:43,028
I am blind!
300
00:20:44,140 --> 00:20:46,631
I've been blind
to other people's faults.
301
00:20:46,709 --> 00:20:50,167
Please don't tell! I was going
to become dumpling boy next week.
302
00:20:50,246 --> 00:20:54,307
Why isn't a smart boy likeyou...
303
00:20:54,383 --> 00:20:55,850
in college?
304
00:20:55,918 --> 00:20:57,943
It's painful to discuss.
305
00:20:58,020 --> 00:21:00,614
I hit puberty in the first grade,
and there's only so many times...
306
00:21:00,689 --> 00:21:05,149
a seven-year-old can be called
"fire hose" before he cracks.
307
00:21:06,228 --> 00:21:10,756
That's really too bad because
my family provides...
308
00:21:10,833 --> 00:21:15,236
a $50,000 cash scholarship...
309
00:21:15,304 --> 00:21:17,272
to minority students,
and I thought...
310
00:21:17,339 --> 00:21:19,273
- $50,000?
- Yeah.
311
00:21:19,341 --> 00:21:21,832
- $50,000?
- Yup, that's it.
312
00:21:21,911 --> 00:21:24,641
Look at that.
Will you touch it?
313
00:21:24,713 --> 00:21:28,012
The fire hose is gone!
It's a miracle.
314
00:21:28,084 --> 00:21:31,850
Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!
I want to learn! I want to go to school!
315
00:21:31,921 --> 00:21:33,411
- You do?
- Yes.
316
00:21:33,489 --> 00:21:36,481
Good! I'm so glad you're so eager!
317
00:21:36,559 --> 00:21:38,925
Let us celebrate, all right?
318
00:21:38,994 --> 00:21:40,655
Here.
319
00:21:40,729 --> 00:21:46,224
Ofcourse I have to administer
a few small tests beforeyou qualify.
320
00:21:46,302 --> 00:21:47,894
Tests?
321
00:21:50,406 --> 00:21:53,204
Hey, can I get one ofthese tables
for my dorm room?
322
00:21:53,275 --> 00:21:56,836
Turn it up!
This is fun. Come on.
323
00:21:56,912 --> 00:21:58,470
All right...
324
00:21:58,547 --> 00:22:00,845
crank it up.
325
00:22:03,352 --> 00:22:04,785
Yeah!
326
00:22:09,925 --> 00:22:11,893
Wait a minute.
327
00:22:11,961 --> 00:22:13,895
I don't feel so well.
328
00:22:13,963 --> 00:22:15,055
I feel...
329
00:22:20,402 --> 00:22:25,806
You will do as many repetitions
as you can manage in one minute. Go!
330
00:22:28,310 --> 00:22:29,743
One.
331
00:22:29,812 --> 00:22:31,074
Ready?
332
00:22:36,685 --> 00:22:38,550
I wasn't ready.
Try again.
333
00:22:42,024 --> 00:22:44,015
Try one more time.
334
00:22:57,206 --> 00:22:59,970
He's the worst candidate
we have ever had.
335
00:23:02,711 --> 00:23:06,374
I will showyou the shot that won me
the reform school championship...
336
00:23:06,448 --> 00:23:08,916
and the tag "8-Ball Kid."
337
00:23:12,888 --> 00:23:16,085
I'm sorry.
I'm awful sorry.
338
00:23:16,158 --> 00:23:19,821
But I knowyou don't care
becauseyou Germans are the greatest!
339
00:23:19,895 --> 00:23:22,762
Next time somebody says Germans
are humorless people...
340
00:23:22,831 --> 00:23:25,629
I'm gonna tell them to come
to this house.
341
00:23:25,701 --> 00:23:27,191
I must tell you...
342
00:23:27,269 --> 00:23:29,829
Soyou started a few wars,
all right?
343
00:23:29,905 --> 00:23:33,238
Actually, you started everywar.
It's not likeyou everwon one!
344
00:23:35,277 --> 00:23:37,245
We kicked France's ass.
345
00:23:37,313 --> 00:23:39,873
Please! Who doesn't, right?
346
00:23:39,949 --> 00:23:42,110
Your scores were so abysmal that...
347
00:23:42,184 --> 00:23:45,153
And yourwomen!
Soyou dig fat chicks.
348
00:23:45,221 --> 00:23:47,746
What do the rest ofus care?
We don't have to touch them.
349
00:23:47,823 --> 00:23:52,624
It's like riding a moped. It's fun
till your friends catch you doing it.
350
00:23:52,695 --> 00:23:54,128
You failed!
351
00:23:54,196 --> 00:23:56,926
You lost the scholarship.
You can't go.
352
00:23:56,999 --> 00:23:58,990
Stop repeating what I'm saying.
353
00:23:59,068 --> 00:24:00,831
I mean it!
354
00:24:03,539 --> 00:24:05,473
All right, okay!
355
00:24:05,541 --> 00:24:09,910
You're the ideal candidate
for the scholarship.
356
00:24:16,185 --> 00:24:19,552
I am? I am? Oh, snap! Oh, joy!
357
00:24:19,622 --> 00:24:22,216
Get stupid. Get ooh-eh! Get eh-eh.
358
00:24:26,161 --> 00:24:29,927
I can't think ofanything I would rather
do before returning to the homeland...
359
00:24:29,999 --> 00:24:32,832
than ridding the earth
ofthis creature!
360
00:24:35,104 --> 00:24:37,504
Go get the contract.
361
00:24:40,576 --> 00:24:43,477
Time to sign the contract.
362
00:24:43,545 --> 00:24:46,912
Sign there on the dotted line.
Here.
363
00:24:50,753 --> 00:24:53,881
I took a legal correspondence course
and I'm only two credits away.
364
00:24:53,956 --> 00:24:57,323
What's all this stuff
about maiming and death?
365
00:24:57,393 --> 00:24:58,985
Legal mumbojumbo.
366
00:24:59,061 --> 00:25:00,460
All right.
367
00:25:00,529 --> 00:25:01,962
Just sign.
368
00:25:02,965 --> 00:25:06,992
What's this about "I waive
my legal rights" and whatnot?
369
00:25:07,069 --> 00:25:11,096
Some kid sued us lastyear over
a stubbed toe, so we had to add it.
370
00:25:11,173 --> 00:25:13,403
- Just sign.
- All right.
371
00:25:14,410 --> 00:25:15,934
What's this about...
372
00:25:16,011 --> 00:25:19,845
- Soyou don't want the $50,000.
- I do want it!
373
00:25:19,915 --> 00:25:22,008
- College is a big commitment.
- I'll be committed.
374
00:25:22,084 --> 00:25:25,019
- We'll give it to someone else.
- Give it to me.
375
00:25:25,087 --> 00:25:26,748
- I want it!
- Forget it!
376
00:25:26,822 --> 00:25:28,847
Perhaps a toast?
377
00:25:34,363 --> 00:25:36,126
I'm in like sin.
378
00:25:37,199 --> 00:25:40,225
Now, we have a little tradition.
379
00:25:40,302 --> 00:25:45,262
All the winnersjoin me for a little
gentlemanly hunt on my private island.
380
00:25:45,341 --> 00:25:46,706
Goody. What'll we hunt?
381
00:25:46,775 --> 00:25:48,936
- Deer.
- Goose.
382
00:25:49,011 --> 00:25:50,842
- Goose.
- Deer.
383
00:25:50,913 --> 00:25:51,811
Deergoose.
384
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:53,472
Ja. Deergoose.
385
00:25:53,549 --> 00:25:55,779
We hunt a deergoose.
It's...
386
00:25:55,851 --> 00:25:58,217
- Indigenous.
- Indigenous to my island.
387
00:25:58,954 --> 00:26:00,387
To the hunt!
388
00:26:06,562 --> 00:26:08,154
Sorry.
389
00:26:09,531 --> 00:26:10,964
Hurry up!
390
00:26:11,033 --> 00:26:13,593
I can't wait to bag me a deergoose!
391
00:26:13,669 --> 00:26:18,368
I hear the meat's a delicacy.
Nobody fricassees like I fricassee.
392
00:26:20,743 --> 00:26:24,907
- I'm going to kill him now!
- Remember, thejoy ofthe hunt.
393
00:26:24,980 --> 00:26:28,177
- Can I fly it?
- No, sit down and be quiet.
394
00:26:28,250 --> 00:26:30,184
You can't talk to me like that.
395
00:26:30,252 --> 00:26:32,743
You gotta keep the concentration
for the pilot.
396
00:26:32,821 --> 00:26:34,755
He's the pilot?
397
00:26:48,871 --> 00:26:51,339
23,099bottles ofbeeron the wall
398
00:26:51,407 --> 00:26:55,241
23,099bottles ofbeeron the wall
Take one down, passitaround...
399
00:26:55,310 --> 00:26:57,972
- There's the island.
- We made it!
400
00:26:58,046 --> 00:27:00,378
At last! We're there!
401
00:27:01,450 --> 00:27:03,418
Soyou'll let me fly? Come on!
402
00:27:03,485 --> 00:27:07,012
There's so many buttons.
How doyou know which one's the one?
403
00:27:09,458 --> 00:27:12,120
YouCan Change forthehunt
in thestudy.
404
00:27:12,194 --> 00:27:13,821
Thankyou.
405
00:27:13,896 --> 00:27:16,456
Try not to break anything.
406
00:27:18,233 --> 00:27:20,997
"The United States ofGermany."
407
00:27:21,069 --> 00:27:23,037
Somebody's a sore loser.
408
00:27:28,210 --> 00:27:30,701
Books! I love to read.
409
00:27:32,948 --> 00:27:36,645
"The Rise and Fall
ofThe Third Reich."
410
00:27:36,718 --> 00:27:38,686
" Mein Kampf."
411
00:27:38,754 --> 00:27:40,949
"Sex Be Nimble,
Sex Be Quick."
412
00:27:52,134 --> 00:27:54,261
You speak German?
413
00:28:00,108 --> 00:28:02,099
You're the new scholarship student.
414
00:28:02,177 --> 00:28:07,410
- I'm here for the hunt, then to Harvard.
- You really believe that?
415
00:28:07,483 --> 00:28:09,974
I would settle forYale, but...
416
00:28:10,052 --> 00:28:12,247
I love Boston in the spring.
417
00:28:12,321 --> 00:28:15,722
Rowing on the Charles.
Gathering leaves in the quad.
418
00:28:15,791 --> 00:28:17,224
The colorwars.
419
00:28:17,292 --> 00:28:19,726
Norman, is thatyou?
420
00:28:19,795 --> 00:28:22,628
My father tells you you're going
to college and you believe him?
421
00:28:22,698 --> 00:28:25,792
Oh, snap. You're ShankJunior, huh?
422
00:28:26,969 --> 00:28:29,028
My name is Himmel.
423
00:28:30,706 --> 00:28:32,640
I mean, hi, Himmel.
424
00:28:32,708 --> 00:28:35,472
Your father seems like a great guy
for a disturbed individual.
425
00:28:35,544 --> 00:28:37,535
No offense.
But I trust him.
426
00:28:37,613 --> 00:28:41,276
What makes you think he'd tell you
the truth when I am his own son...
427
00:28:41,350 --> 00:28:43,875
and he's been lying to me
his entire life?
428
00:28:46,522 --> 00:28:50,959
Well, it seems like the two ofyou
have issues to work out.
429
00:28:51,026 --> 00:28:52,960
I'm going to go outside.
430
00:28:53,028 --> 00:28:56,327
Doyou know what he did to me
when I was a child?
431
00:28:56,398 --> 00:28:59,060
No, but why don't we get Leo
and tell him?
432
00:28:59,134 --> 00:29:01,625
He locked me in a room
with a boa constrictor...
433
00:29:01,703 --> 00:29:04,297
and told me I couldn't get out
until I killed it.
434
00:29:07,543 --> 00:29:12,207
The important thing is thatyou
got out and you're fine. You know?
435
00:29:12,281 --> 00:29:15,444
He kept me in that room for six weeks!
436
00:29:15,517 --> 00:29:17,985
But look at the wonderful
complexion you have.
437
00:29:18,053 --> 00:29:21,022
Don't be afraid.
I loved that snake.
438
00:29:21,089 --> 00:29:23,023
You share too much.
439
00:29:26,061 --> 00:29:27,085
Help.
440
00:29:33,869 --> 00:29:38,169
So tell me,
what was your snake's name?
441
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:39,639
Cocteau.
442
00:29:39,708 --> 00:29:41,539
Cocteau?
443
00:29:41,610 --> 00:29:43,305
Like the French playwright?
444
00:29:44,413 --> 00:29:46,540
After my two favorite body parts.
445
00:29:53,422 --> 00:29:55,014
Red light, green light!
446
00:29:56,258 --> 00:29:57,953
Red light, green light!
447
00:30:01,363 --> 00:30:03,490
You're it.
448
00:30:04,733 --> 00:30:06,291
Gustav!
449
00:30:07,369 --> 00:30:10,532
Now we are locked in together,
like me and the snake.
450
00:30:10,606 --> 00:30:13,404
Oh, great!
Just great.
451
00:30:13,475 --> 00:30:15,443
Look, cute boy.
452
00:30:15,510 --> 00:30:19,139
- You seem like a reasonable type.
- Don't flatter me!
453
00:30:19,214 --> 00:30:23,207
You have a big nose, your feet stink
and your mother dresses you funny.
454
00:30:24,886 --> 00:30:26,854
There is no scholarship.
455
00:30:26,922 --> 00:30:29,982
You are only here
because my fatherwants to huntyou.
456
00:30:30,058 --> 00:30:32,549
My God, you'll say anything,
won'tyou?
457
00:30:32,628 --> 00:30:35,188
Now, how doyou sound
your fatherwants to hunt me?
458
00:30:35,263 --> 00:30:39,859
Whywould he give me this fancy
hunting outfit ifhe wanted to hunt me?
459
00:30:39,935 --> 00:30:42,529
- Explain yourself.
- I can protectyou.
460
00:30:43,672 --> 00:30:45,105
Don't go!
461
00:30:52,314 --> 00:30:54,179
Oh, you play!
462
00:30:55,350 --> 00:30:56,351
Listen, I just metyour crazy son.
463
00:30:56,351 --> 00:30:58,012
Listen, I just metyour crazy son.
464
00:30:58,086 --> 00:30:59,781
No offense.
465
00:30:59,855 --> 00:31:05,691
He made up the wackest story aboutyou
wanting to hunt me. You believe that?
466
00:31:06,828 --> 00:31:08,853
Ridiculous, isn't it?
467
00:31:08,930 --> 00:31:13,128
Can you imagine the demons that kid's
working out? You hunting people?
468
00:31:14,369 --> 00:31:17,964
My God. It would almost be funny
ifit wasn't so...
469
00:31:19,875 --> 00:31:21,809
lfit wasn't so...
470
00:31:47,602 --> 00:31:50,969
This is the most disgusting thing...
471
00:31:51,039 --> 00:31:53,507
I have ever seen.
472
00:31:53,575 --> 00:31:56,305
Those heads haven't been dusted
in months!
473
00:31:57,412 --> 00:32:00,779
I'm going to get a wet rag
and I'll be right back. Bye.
474
00:32:05,353 --> 00:32:08,686
I don't wanna die!
I'm tooyoung!
475
00:32:12,494 --> 00:32:15,122
Get offme, you freak!
476
00:32:15,197 --> 00:32:17,358
Want a piece ofme?
Get a piece ofme.
477
00:32:20,569 --> 00:32:22,036
My springbok pelt!
478
00:32:22,104 --> 00:32:24,971
I'm sorry. I couldn't make it
to the newspaper.
479
00:32:26,775 --> 00:32:30,836
- I bagged this on my ninth birthday.
- He was a prodigy.
480
00:32:30,912 --> 00:32:35,406
By the time I was 30, I had hunted
nearly every animal there was.
481
00:32:35,484 --> 00:32:39,386
Yeah? You won't be so cocky
when I reportyou to the ASPCA!
482
00:32:39,454 --> 00:32:41,388
- I was bored.
- Bored, sir?
483
00:32:41,456 --> 00:32:45,688
All right, so I was depressed!
I needed a challenge.
484
00:32:45,761 --> 00:32:49,788
Haveyou tried Parcheesi?
It's a game ofskill and chance.
485
00:32:49,865 --> 00:32:54,495
Here on this island, I've hunted every
ethnicity ofhuman except one.
486
00:32:54,569 --> 00:32:57,970
My God! Haven't theJewish people
suffered enough?
487
00:32:58,039 --> 00:32:59,631
You are Puerto Rican?
488
00:32:59,708 --> 00:33:03,337
What, me? Oh, no.
489
00:33:09,918 --> 00:33:11,647
I am French!
490
00:33:22,964 --> 00:33:28,027
Look at me. I'm brooding,
yet craving rich sauces.
491
00:33:28,103 --> 00:33:30,594
You are next, Mr. Vargas.
492
00:33:32,140 --> 00:33:34,199
But I break out when I'm shellacked.
493
00:33:34,276 --> 00:33:36,870
What's more embarrassing
than a zitty head on the wall?
494
00:33:36,945 --> 00:33:38,344
Besides...
495
00:33:38,413 --> 00:33:42,747
I'll make a nasty face,
and I'll destroyyour display.
496
00:33:44,853 --> 00:33:49,586
lfyou survive for 24 hours,
you getyour $50,000.
497
00:33:50,659 --> 00:33:52,456
$50,000?
498
00:33:52,527 --> 00:33:54,791
My God!
Why didn'tyou say so?
499
00:33:54,863 --> 00:33:57,195
Hunt away, great white hunter!
500
00:33:57,265 --> 00:33:59,062
Hunt...
501
00:33:59,134 --> 00:34:00,795
Hunt away.
502
00:34:00,869 --> 00:34:03,736
And ifyou don't, it's the shelf.
503
00:34:11,313 --> 00:34:14,646
Father, I don't want
to participate in this. It's wrong.
504
00:34:14,716 --> 00:34:16,775
You have to learn sometime.
505
00:34:16,852 --> 00:34:20,515
Whywould I ever have to learn
how to hunt people?
506
00:34:20,589 --> 00:34:23,251
The hunt isjust a metaphor...
507
00:34:23,325 --> 00:34:28,319
for the glorious cycle
ofendless life and rebirth.
508
00:34:28,396 --> 00:34:33,095
And remember, always, always
shoot him in the brain.
509
00:34:33,168 --> 00:34:35,102
- I hateyou.
- Shut up.
510
00:34:35,170 --> 00:34:37,730
I'm getting more tea.
511
00:34:37,806 --> 00:34:42,766
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Excuse me, but...
512
00:34:44,079 --> 00:34:46,411
Why do I look like
I'm from the "Jungle Book"...
513
00:34:46,481 --> 00:34:49,348
and you get the nice
Banana Republic stuff?
514
00:34:49,417 --> 00:34:51,351
Does that seem fair toyou?
515
00:34:51,419 --> 00:34:55,583
I thoughtyou'd like it.
It's the costume ofyour ancestors.
516
00:34:55,657 --> 00:34:59,184
- Mywhat?
- I think it adds a theatrical element.
517
00:34:59,261 --> 00:35:01,559
Stay out ofthis.
518
00:35:01,630 --> 00:35:06,033
I want some boots, some khakis,
some turtlenecks and some...
519
00:35:07,269 --> 00:35:10,102
You have guns.
That's not fair.
520
00:35:10,171 --> 00:35:14,540
I'm not going to play till
I get something. I can't hearyou.
521
00:35:17,812 --> 00:35:19,473
- This is it?
- Yeah!
522
00:35:19,547 --> 00:35:22,448
- This is it?
- All yours!
523
00:35:22,517 --> 00:35:26,977
Oh, well, well. Why don't wejust get
a candlestick and play Clue?
524
00:35:27,055 --> 00:35:29,114
I'll be Colonel Mustard.
You be Mrs. Peacock.
525
00:35:29,190 --> 00:35:33,684
First we start with
a traditional toast.
526
00:35:35,130 --> 00:35:37,530
Toyou, Mr. Vargas. Good luck.
527
00:35:37,599 --> 00:35:39,396
Good luck toyou, too.
528
00:35:39,467 --> 00:35:42,163
Actually, I take that back.
I hopeyou don't do well.
529
00:35:42,237 --> 00:35:45,866
I hopeyou get violated
by pig-monkey men in the woods.
530
00:35:53,815 --> 00:35:58,252
All right, I've got the upper hand.
What's to keep me from shooting you now?
531
00:36:02,924 --> 00:36:04,721
Other than that.
532
00:36:05,894 --> 00:36:07,828
What areyou doing?
533
00:36:12,100 --> 00:36:15,263
Your 24 hours have begun. Go.
534
00:36:15,337 --> 00:36:17,828
- I have one thing to add.
- What?
535
00:36:17,906 --> 00:36:22,400
I lied on the form. I'm not
the perfect specimen I appear to be.
536
00:36:22,477 --> 00:36:28,006
I have the public school gypsy curse.
Stuttering dyslexia.
537
00:36:28,083 --> 00:36:30,278
I b-bead r-rackwards.
538
00:36:30,352 --> 00:36:32,843
I g-get mords wixed up.
539
00:36:32,921 --> 00:36:35,116
I'm narcoleptic.
540
00:36:38,093 --> 00:36:40,687
And you are?
See? See?
541
00:36:40,762 --> 00:36:42,696
I have Tourette's!
542
00:36:42,764 --> 00:36:46,222
Yes, nice German. Freak! Weirdo!
543
00:36:48,970 --> 00:36:51,029
Those things don't grow on trees!
544
00:36:53,875 --> 00:36:57,606
I'm scared ofyou! I'll come back
when you're feeling better.
545
00:37:22,637 --> 00:37:26,573
Think, Pest. Think, think, think!
Think, old buddy.
546
00:37:26,641 --> 00:37:31,305
Your people came from the rain forest.
You must've inherited some skills.
547
00:37:40,121 --> 00:37:42,282
Now I'm nice and limber.
548
00:38:21,062 --> 00:38:23,189
That's more like it.
549
00:38:23,264 --> 00:38:26,665
My animalistical instincts
are finally kicking in.
550
00:38:31,206 --> 00:38:37,008
Himmel, when we find him,
I wantyou to make the kill.
551
00:38:38,980 --> 00:38:41,278
I don't want to make the kill.
552
00:38:41,349 --> 00:38:43,408
I want to be a hairdresser,
write musicals.
553
00:38:44,786 --> 00:38:47,653
- What?
- You'd love it ifit were true.
554
00:38:47,722 --> 00:38:51,988
You'd tell your friends aboutyour
hairdresser son who listens to Merman.
555
00:38:54,129 --> 00:38:57,394
Will you look at the size
ofthat snake?
556
00:38:59,767 --> 00:39:03,032
You and your snake obsession!
557
00:39:03,104 --> 00:39:08,303
lfyou don't like it, maybeyou should
not have locked me in with a snake.
558
00:39:08,376 --> 00:39:10,606
Areyou on that again?
559
00:39:10,678 --> 00:39:14,444
I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to boreyou
with my life's defining trauma.
560
00:39:16,084 --> 00:39:18,245
It's not dry enough.
561
00:39:21,256 --> 00:39:23,884
I can never please him.
562
00:39:29,030 --> 00:39:31,464
Something is wrong.
563
00:39:31,533 --> 00:39:35,025
What could be wrong?
We're hunting a human being.
564
00:39:35,103 --> 00:39:38,504
Other fathers take their sons
to baseball games, but...
565
00:39:38,573 --> 00:39:40,507
Tell it to Ricky Lake.
566
00:39:40,575 --> 00:39:44,944
I can see it now. " Nazi Fathers
and Their Snake-Obsessed Sons."
567
00:39:46,014 --> 00:39:48,414
What is this?
568
00:40:01,162 --> 00:40:02,595
Get me down.
569
00:40:02,664 --> 00:40:05,360
This Pest is good.
570
00:40:05,433 --> 00:40:08,800
- Get me down!
- Don't be such a sissy!
571
00:40:08,870 --> 00:40:12,533
I don't know ifyou've noticed lately,
but I am a sissy!
572
00:40:14,976 --> 00:40:17,911
- Whatyou doin'?
- Putting you out ofyour misery.
573
00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:20,913
Come on.
574
00:40:26,487 --> 00:40:29,320
- Doyou hear that moaning?
- It's me.
575
00:40:29,390 --> 00:40:31,585
No, the other moaning.
576
00:40:39,167 --> 00:40:41,158
My stomach is funky.
577
00:40:42,470 --> 00:40:44,529
Thank God for some privacy.
578
00:40:46,741 --> 00:40:49,710
- My back hurts where the tree hit me.
- Quiet.
579
00:40:52,747 --> 00:40:55,841
"Whether 'tis nobler in the mind...
580
00:40:55,917 --> 00:40:59,318
to suffer the slings and arrows...
581
00:40:59,387 --> 00:41:01,753
ofoutrageous fortune..."
582
00:41:03,258 --> 00:41:05,453
Scat. Shoo.
583
00:41:05,526 --> 00:41:08,154
I can't concentrate
when I'm being watched.
584
00:41:09,530 --> 00:41:12,158
I farted. Doyou think
I smell like this all the time?
585
00:41:15,737 --> 00:41:18,001
What's that smell?
586
00:41:21,009 --> 00:41:23,034
Look. There.
587
00:41:24,579 --> 00:41:26,046
My horoscope.
588
00:41:26,114 --> 00:41:28,207
" Beware ofstrangers offering...
589
00:41:28,283 --> 00:41:31,218
phony scholarships."
590
00:41:31,286 --> 00:41:35,382
Guess I'll have to use my socks.
At least they're soft.
591
00:41:37,325 --> 00:41:40,089
I wantyou to take him out.
592
00:41:40,161 --> 00:41:41,685
Why me?
593
00:41:41,763 --> 00:41:45,722
I wantyou to experience
the utter ecstasy that comes...
594
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:49,896
from feeling the hot, throbbing force
ofa man's life...
595
00:41:49,971 --> 00:41:51,905
when it's in your hands.
596
00:41:51,973 --> 00:41:53,440
- Poison darts?
- Perfect.
597
00:41:53,508 --> 00:41:55,339
Just a second. Oops.
598
00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:07,553
Himmel!
599
00:42:17,865 --> 00:42:19,730
What a mess!
600
00:42:19,801 --> 00:42:22,668
The explosion blew him
right out ofhis sneakers.
601
00:42:24,105 --> 00:42:26,369
Looks likeyour hunt is over.
602
00:42:26,441 --> 00:42:29,535
I'm going back to the house
before I miss Hogan's Heroes.
603
00:42:40,788 --> 00:42:42,756
He's alive.
604
00:42:42,824 --> 00:42:46,624
ColonelHogan, wouldyoujoin us
fordinnertonight?
605
00:42:46,694 --> 00:42:48,889
ColonelBakerisgoing to tell us
the truth...
606
00:42:48,963 --> 00:42:52,126
about the Germanarmy's glorious
Campaign on the Russian front.
607
00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:54,794
Whykillallyourappetites?
608
00:43:07,615 --> 00:43:10,607
Pest, you're supposed to be dead!
609
00:43:10,685 --> 00:43:12,676
I can't.
610
00:43:12,754 --> 00:43:14,449
I won't.
611
00:43:14,522 --> 00:43:15,955
I shouldn't.
612
00:43:17,759 --> 00:43:19,727
All right, I will.
613
00:43:19,794 --> 00:43:24,390
- You've got to be quiet.
- You! You!
614
00:43:24,465 --> 00:43:27,923
You tried to hunt me.
615
00:43:29,704 --> 00:43:31,137
Get back!
616
00:43:31,205 --> 00:43:33,696
What areyou trying to do,
perfume me to death?
617
00:43:33,775 --> 00:43:36,073
These are sex secretion pheromones.
618
00:43:36,144 --> 00:43:38,772
Father uses them
to lure horny animals into traps.
619
00:43:38,846 --> 00:43:41,212
Here. Watch the tape.
620
00:43:44,952 --> 00:43:47,420
This is disgusting.
621
00:43:49,056 --> 00:43:53,288
I'm gonna take some ofthese
for my girlfriend.
622
00:43:53,361 --> 00:43:56,159
She hates when I go away
and don't bring her nothing.
623
00:43:56,230 --> 00:43:58,664
They onlywork on males.
Can I fixyou one?
624
00:43:58,733 --> 00:44:00,792
No, you've done enough for one day.
625
00:44:00,868 --> 00:44:03,496
You're mad we tried
to cutyour head off?
626
00:44:03,571 --> 00:44:08,008
I'm not mad.
Do I look mad toyou?
627
00:44:10,244 --> 00:44:14,704
I knowyou're not into
all this Wild Kingdom stuff.
628
00:44:14,782 --> 00:44:17,842
So why don'tyou and I
escape back to Miami...
629
00:44:17,919 --> 00:44:21,616
get away from your crazy, ugly,
psychotic father, no offense...
630
00:44:21,689 --> 00:44:26,388
and you and I will play snakey-wakey
wheneveryou want to.
631
00:44:26,461 --> 00:44:27,894
Really?
632
00:44:27,962 --> 00:44:29,486
C-Certainly.
633
00:44:32,166 --> 00:44:36,125
- We'll takeyour father's speedboat.
- I get seasick.
634
00:44:36,204 --> 00:44:37,728
You'll be fine.
635
00:44:53,321 --> 00:44:56,222
I told you, I get seasick.
636
00:44:56,290 --> 00:44:58,315
Well, no duh!
637
00:44:59,927 --> 00:45:03,090
- What are those seagulls doing?
- They've come to eatyourvomit.
638
00:45:04,699 --> 00:45:06,963
Will you stop that?
639
00:45:07,034 --> 00:45:10,800
Fine. But I'd watch out
for the seagullses ifl was you.
640
00:45:11,772 --> 00:45:12,796
Why?
641
00:45:14,108 --> 00:45:16,872
- I'll be leaving now.
- It stings.
642
00:45:16,944 --> 00:45:18,639
I'm blind!
643
00:45:18,713 --> 00:45:20,681
Pest, where'd you go?
644
00:45:23,284 --> 00:45:26,378
My father's gonna kill me!
645
00:45:32,560 --> 00:45:34,926
You don't know what the hell
you're talking about.
646
00:45:34,996 --> 00:45:37,897
You know the reputation about
Latino men, right?
647
00:45:37,965 --> 00:45:41,867
They didn't have any Latino man
on the show because everybody knows...
648
00:45:41,936 --> 00:45:46,339
that he would be having his way
with Ginger, MaryAnn, Mrs. Howell...
649
00:45:46,407 --> 00:45:48,375
and the Professor.
650
00:45:48,442 --> 00:45:52,378
Then let me askyou a question. Lfyou
had to choose, who would you pick?
651
00:45:52,446 --> 00:45:54,175
MaryAnn or Ginger?
652
00:45:55,550 --> 00:45:57,074
Ginger. No contest.
653
00:46:00,688 --> 00:46:03,418
- Is thatyou, man?
- Areyou all right?
654
00:46:03,491 --> 00:46:05,482
What happened?
655
00:46:05,560 --> 00:46:07,585
I can't go on.
656
00:46:07,662 --> 00:46:11,996
Must have dry land.
Oh, dry land!
657
00:46:12,066 --> 00:46:14,193
- You okay?
- What happened?
658
00:46:14,268 --> 00:46:16,702
What happened? Oh, God!
659
00:46:16,771 --> 00:46:18,705
The room is spinning!
660
00:46:20,107 --> 00:46:24,635
What happened? What happened?
I'll tell you what happened.
661
00:46:27,915 --> 00:46:30,383
Contract.
"I want to huntyou."
662
00:46:30,451 --> 00:46:34,717
And his son.
" Pet my snake."
663
00:46:36,157 --> 00:46:39,490
" Playmate, come out and play."
Seagulls!
664
00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:44,156
He made doody-doody. It was horrible.
Don't let them take me back.
665
00:46:45,700 --> 00:46:47,691
What areyou saying?
666
00:46:47,768 --> 00:46:51,864
Listen. Take a swim in the pool.
It'll helpyou relax.
667
00:46:51,939 --> 00:46:53,372
- Trust me.
- A swim?
668
00:46:53,441 --> 00:46:58,003
- A splash.
- Obviously, you haven't been listening!
669
00:46:58,079 --> 00:47:03,449
I've been swimming for five hours!
What don'tyou understand?
670
00:47:07,355 --> 00:47:09,220
Maybe one lap?
671
00:47:12,493 --> 00:47:16,725
Then there were 20 ofthem.
Did I say 20? I meant an army.
672
00:47:16,797 --> 00:47:19,163
Don't be fakingjacks.
673
00:47:19,233 --> 00:47:23,533
- There's no scammification going on.
- You're not being hunted.
674
00:47:23,604 --> 00:47:26,164
- I am too being hunted.
- Are not.
675
00:47:26,240 --> 00:47:28,174
- Am too.
- Am not.
676
00:47:35,516 --> 00:47:39,213
See? See? I told you.
I am being hunted.
677
00:47:39,286 --> 00:47:42,050
Give up, Pest!
There's nowhere to hide.
678
00:47:42,123 --> 00:47:46,856
Thank the Lord,
he's here to kill me!
679
00:47:49,030 --> 00:47:51,760
Snap. Run!
680
00:47:56,871 --> 00:47:59,237
That guy's psycho.
Why is he afteryou?
681
00:47:59,306 --> 00:48:02,639
I don't know.
Must be my animal magnetism.
682
00:48:02,710 --> 00:48:05,543
Get in. Let's go!
Let's get the hell out ofhere.
683
00:48:09,250 --> 00:48:12,276
I told you I was being hunted.
Did you believe me? No.
684
00:48:12,353 --> 00:48:16,153
- Because no one ever believes me.
- We believeyou. Who's got the plan?
685
00:48:16,223 --> 00:48:19,784
- Okay, I got the master plan.
- Kick it.
686
00:48:19,860 --> 00:48:23,387
- Remember my cousin Roger?
- The mad fool?
687
00:48:23,464 --> 00:48:27,457
The mad cool guy. We could go to
his place and lay low till morning.
688
00:48:27,535 --> 00:48:30,834
- Perfect. I can't.
- What?
689
00:48:30,905 --> 00:48:34,636
We gotta make one, stupid,
meaningless stop.
690
00:48:34,709 --> 00:48:36,142
Where, Pest?
691
00:48:36,210 --> 00:48:38,838
No place special.
Xantha's.
692
00:48:40,247 --> 00:48:43,273
- What's wrong with you?
- I'm in love.
693
00:48:43,350 --> 00:48:45,944
I'm sure her parents will understand...
694
00:48:46,020 --> 00:48:49,183
ifyou explain tonight's not good
as you're being hunted.
695
00:48:49,256 --> 00:48:53,625
- They're black. They'll understand.
- Yeah?
696
00:48:54,862 --> 00:48:56,853
What's up, freak?
697
00:48:58,866 --> 00:49:00,458
It's me.
698
00:49:01,836 --> 00:49:05,237
You better recognize, baby.
You act like...
699
00:49:05,306 --> 00:49:10,972
Yo, Mrs. Kent. I'm not sweating you,
butyou're one fine heifer.
700
00:49:11,045 --> 00:49:14,276
What's up, Mack Daddy?
701
00:49:14,348 --> 00:49:17,249
Kill whitey. Free Angela Davis.
Say it loud. " Be black and be proud."
702
00:49:17,318 --> 00:49:21,254
- Yes, Lord!
- Why don't we go in here?
703
00:49:21,322 --> 00:49:24,553
That boy's on drugs.
Who's Angela Davis?
704
00:49:24,625 --> 00:49:28,686
All the cars you could get,
why did you pick this one?
705
00:49:28,763 --> 00:49:31,197
I thoughtyou'd like it.
It's German.
706
00:49:31,265 --> 00:49:33,961
Did you ever hear of BMW, idiot?
707
00:49:34,034 --> 00:49:36,730
I'm sorry I can never pleaseyou!
708
00:49:36,804 --> 00:49:41,366
Shh. I'm getting something.
Here, have a look.
709
00:49:41,442 --> 00:49:45,742
The tracking device I placed in
his underwear seems to be working.
710
00:49:45,813 --> 00:49:49,044
Why does Leo get
all the goodjobs?
711
00:49:49,116 --> 00:49:52,176
We have a fix on him, sir.
Go west!
712
00:49:54,822 --> 00:49:57,655
What's with
the African getup?
713
00:49:57,725 --> 00:50:00,319
All this is foryou,
Xantha-poo.
714
00:50:00,394 --> 00:50:03,261
I'm trying to impressify
your parents.
715
00:50:03,330 --> 00:50:08,063
Does it scareyou that I arouse
the passions ofthe Dark Continent?
716
00:50:13,274 --> 00:50:16,038
It scares me that
you're wearing a dress to dinner.
717
00:50:16,110 --> 00:50:18,874
This is nothing compared
to my morning ensemble.
718
00:50:18,946 --> 00:50:22,074
How about a little kiss?
Come on, suck face.
719
00:50:23,050 --> 00:50:26,508
Well, I've prepared
an authentic Cuban meal.
720
00:50:26,587 --> 00:50:29,249
Platanos e frijos losnegros.
721
00:50:31,926 --> 00:50:33,291
Why Cuban?
722
00:50:33,360 --> 00:50:39,094
Do I look Cuban toyou? Do these
look like Cuban features toyou?
723
00:50:39,166 --> 00:50:42,294
What does a brother have to do to
get some respect around here, bitch?
724
00:50:43,771 --> 00:50:48,731
I'm this close to rioting. This close.
lfl wasn't so hungry, I'd leave.
725
00:50:49,543 --> 00:50:51,704
Will you pass me
the platanos, please?
726
00:50:52,980 --> 00:50:55,540
Something's gone wrong
with the location tracker.
727
00:50:55,616 --> 00:50:58,050
It seems to be overheating.
728
00:51:00,387 --> 00:51:03,220
Honey, areyou all right?
You're dripping wet.
729
00:51:04,859 --> 00:51:07,589
It's from being next toyou.
I'm burning up with passion.
730
00:51:07,661 --> 00:51:09,561
Know what I'm saying?
731
00:51:09,630 --> 00:51:13,293
- Don't act likeyou haven't been there.
- Not lately.
732
00:51:14,902 --> 00:51:17,393
I think it's burning out.
733
00:51:19,273 --> 00:51:22,140
That bastard's gonads are sweating.
734
00:51:22,209 --> 00:51:25,007
Boost the power!
735
00:51:30,217 --> 00:51:31,650
I'm burnin' up!
736
00:51:33,020 --> 00:51:36,786
I told the guy at Africans 'R' Us
that I wanted summerweight robes.
737
00:51:36,857 --> 00:51:38,688
Drugs.
738
00:51:38,759 --> 00:51:42,195
It burns! Oh, my God, it burns!
It's burning!
739
00:51:48,369 --> 00:51:49,631
It burns!
740
00:51:50,671 --> 00:51:53,538
That boy's got syphilis!
741
00:51:56,577 --> 00:51:59,444
Don't be cruel!
Get 'em offme!
742
00:52:16,764 --> 00:52:20,723
lfyou was abducted
by a space alien chick...
743
00:52:20,801 --> 00:52:25,500
would you orwould you not
haveyourwaywith her?
744
00:52:28,242 --> 00:52:31,678
Before it cut off,
the signal came from this house.
745
00:52:31,745 --> 00:52:35,237
I'm going in there.
You two stay here.
746
00:52:35,316 --> 00:52:39,116
Here, Mr. Shank,
I have prepared a dosage...
747
00:52:39,186 --> 00:52:42,212
which will immediately
render him unconscious.
748
00:52:42,289 --> 00:52:44,985
Then we can take him with us...
749
00:52:45,059 --> 00:52:47,721
und at our leisure,
cut offhis head.
750
00:52:47,795 --> 00:52:50,855
Leo, you're a saint.
751
00:52:50,931 --> 00:52:52,626
Be careful, sir.
752
00:52:54,768 --> 00:52:57,430
These Volkswagens are smaller
than they used to be.
753
00:52:57,504 --> 00:52:59,199
Check it out.
754
00:52:59,273 --> 00:53:03,937
She's got the body parts
ofa hot Earth woman.
755
00:53:12,486 --> 00:53:15,455
Fear not, the Pest line
shall continue.
756
00:53:15,522 --> 00:53:18,514
My childrens
have been saved.
757
00:53:18,592 --> 00:53:20,457
Yeah!
758
00:53:20,527 --> 00:53:25,464
That'll teach me not to spring for
extra-strength fungus spray. You know?
759
00:53:28,369 --> 00:53:30,394
Look, man.
Look over there.
760
00:53:32,840 --> 00:53:35,104
That's Colonel Klink!
761
00:53:35,175 --> 00:53:37,769
He's climbing through
Xantha's window, man!
762
00:53:37,845 --> 00:53:39,779
Wait here. I'll be right back.
763
00:53:39,847 --> 00:53:41,542
Karate time.
764
00:53:42,683 --> 00:53:44,173
Mrs. Kent, my sister.
765
00:53:44,251 --> 00:53:47,015
Let me explain the origins
ofmy blackness one more time.
766
00:53:47,087 --> 00:53:51,421
My Spanish ancestors came and
had sex with my Indian ancestors.
767
00:53:51,492 --> 00:53:54,290
And then they had sex
with my black ancestors.
768
00:53:54,361 --> 00:53:57,091
Who then had more sex
with the Indians.
769
00:53:57,164 --> 00:54:00,964
And there's rumor that somebody
slept with aJew. Fancy that!
770
00:54:07,074 --> 00:54:10,669
Mrs. Kent, it's kosher. It's all right.
He was an EthiopianJew.
771
00:54:13,747 --> 00:54:17,239
I can't find my pills anywhere!
772
00:54:17,317 --> 00:54:20,582
You know how white people's food
gives me gas!
773
00:54:20,654 --> 00:54:22,588
What happened?
774
00:54:22,656 --> 00:54:25,420
What did you do to my family?
775
00:54:25,492 --> 00:54:28,325
I don't know. I mentioned I might
be prone to celebrate Rosh Hashanah...
776
00:54:28,395 --> 00:54:31,330
and, bam, prejudice rears
his ugly head again!
777
00:54:35,736 --> 00:54:38,830
Oh, I see, you're gonna try
and kill me. Try it, because...
778
00:54:43,243 --> 00:54:46,542
Could I do that again? I was looking
through the wrong thingy.
779
00:54:48,615 --> 00:54:51,448
You're a pretty lousy shot
for a criminal.
780
00:54:51,518 --> 00:54:52,485
Hello.
781
00:55:03,630 --> 00:55:05,564
Any more surprises?
782
00:55:06,633 --> 00:55:08,601
Don't!
783
00:55:08,669 --> 00:55:10,762
I really hateyou.
784
00:55:14,141 --> 00:55:17,076
Let'sjust get
this little game over, shall we?
785
00:55:21,815 --> 00:55:23,806
You missed me!
786
00:55:23,884 --> 00:55:27,479
YouCan'thitme
You'reabigsuCker-butt
787
00:55:29,256 --> 00:55:31,247
ICan'tbelieveyou're German
788
00:55:47,141 --> 00:55:51,009
Where wereyou? Where the hell
wereyou when I needed you?
789
00:55:51,078 --> 00:55:53,046
I am so glad you're here.
Check it.
790
00:55:53,113 --> 00:55:56,947
Would you orwould you not
have sex with a space alien chick?
791
00:55:57,017 --> 00:55:57,949
What?
792
00:56:02,589 --> 00:56:05,524
We have no way
oftracking him anymore.
793
00:56:05,592 --> 00:56:08,220
Just shut up!
Give me the phone.
794
00:56:10,330 --> 00:56:11,763
Hello?
795
00:56:11,832 --> 00:56:16,132
Oh, yo!
What's up, yo? Listen up.
796
00:56:16,203 --> 00:56:20,264
I got the 4-1-1 on Pest Vargas,
mamasita.
797
00:56:20,340 --> 00:56:25,505
- Who is this?
- This is the bum and all that.
798
00:56:25,579 --> 00:56:27,274
Listen.
799
00:56:27,347 --> 00:56:31,443
The word up is that Pest Vargas
has goosed your nugget...
800
00:56:31,518 --> 00:56:34,885
andisgonnaskip the foot
in themorning, homey.
801
00:56:34,955 --> 00:56:36,923
Why areyou telling me this?
What's he done toyou?
802
00:56:36,990 --> 00:56:42,394
Well, he called my mother
a big, fat Scottish slut.
803
00:56:42,462 --> 00:56:44,453
We'll take care ofit.
804
00:56:45,999 --> 00:56:49,901
Fellas, put all the men out
on the street looking for the Pest.
805
00:56:49,970 --> 00:56:52,268
He's out there somewhere
and I wanna find him.
806
00:56:52,339 --> 00:56:54,705
They're putting the word out.
807
00:56:56,276 --> 00:57:00,235
I'll be able to monitor
all their incoming calls.
808
00:57:00,314 --> 00:57:03,579
So, we'll know where he is
as soon as they do.
809
00:57:14,761 --> 00:57:17,958
We gotta find a place to hide.
I'm serious!
810
00:57:18,031 --> 00:57:20,522
Where's the last place
Gustav would think oflooking?
811
00:57:20,601 --> 00:57:24,037
- Think! Useyour head!
- All right! Calm down!
812
00:57:25,606 --> 00:57:28,040
Yo, Pest.
Check it out.
813
00:57:30,944 --> 00:57:33,674
Oh, no. Oh, no!
814
00:57:34,481 --> 00:57:37,279
Hello, Jews!
815
00:57:39,453 --> 00:57:41,387
Nobody's gonna see us here.
What areyou...
816
00:57:46,760 --> 00:57:52,528
Shalom! And mazol tov,
my little gefiltes and yentas.
817
00:57:52,599 --> 00:57:54,965
And you are?
818
00:57:55,035 --> 00:57:57,697
I am a meshuggener,
but ofcourse.
819
00:57:57,771 --> 00:58:02,799
Let me introduce myself.
My name is Rabbi Vargassteenstine.
820
00:58:02,876 --> 00:58:05,470
And this is
my farChadat associate...
821
00:58:05,545 --> 00:58:10,073
Rabbi Chubby Bergbaumsteenstein.
822
00:58:10,150 --> 00:58:14,519
Yes, I know! He's an EthiopianJew
from Ethiopia, ofcourse.
823
00:58:14,588 --> 00:58:16,249
Really?
Where in Ethiopia?
824
00:58:16,323 --> 00:58:18,814
Yo, man, I'm from South Bay, bro...
825
00:58:18,892 --> 00:58:21,417
Unfortunately, the Lord saw fit
to take away his voice box.
826
00:58:21,495 --> 00:58:24,123
But he has a canasta game
to die for.
827
00:58:24,197 --> 00:58:27,997
We'd like to stay, but I got a pain
in my tchotchke. I gotta go.
828
00:58:29,436 --> 00:58:33,338
Angus, I think
I've found our man.
829
00:58:34,541 --> 00:58:38,807
Sir, look. It seems our Latino
has found religion.
830
00:58:38,879 --> 00:58:41,370
He appears to be leaving
a synagogue.
831
00:58:45,852 --> 00:58:49,310
So, funny looking,
got any more genius ideas?
832
00:58:49,389 --> 00:58:51,550
Yo, man.
I'll pick another place.
833
00:58:51,625 --> 00:58:54,116
No, thanks.
I'm pickin' the place.
834
00:58:54,194 --> 00:58:57,459
Right here at the Paris Club.
There's a private party going on.
835
00:58:57,531 --> 00:58:59,465
I'll pull into the parking lot.
836
00:59:05,072 --> 00:59:07,700
Hey, yo!
It's all lovely.
837
00:59:07,774 --> 00:59:10,800
I hear there's
a mad-sick party going on.
838
00:59:10,877 --> 00:59:12,868
Can you hook up a brother
and his brother?
839
00:59:12,946 --> 00:59:17,610
Mad?
Dude, parties are never mad.
840
00:59:17,684 --> 00:59:19,413
They're angry! Duh!
841
00:59:20,220 --> 00:59:22,120
The thing is...
842
00:59:22,189 --> 00:59:25,124
this is a private party, Cheech!
843
00:59:26,126 --> 00:59:27,559
I can't believe this.
844
00:59:27,627 --> 00:59:30,187
Seriously, I betyou could
get in the servants' entrance.
845
00:59:31,832 --> 00:59:35,290
- You guys are harsh!
- Yeah, you guys are harsh!
846
00:59:35,369 --> 00:59:37,303
Actually, you guys suck.
847
00:59:38,839 --> 00:59:42,275
- Yo, chumps, get stupid.
- I can get stupid.
848
00:59:42,342 --> 00:59:44,970
You know what to do.
Spank 'em, brother!
849
00:59:45,045 --> 00:59:47,570
Let's party!
850
00:59:47,647 --> 00:59:50,309
Go, white boy!
Go, white boy!
851
00:59:50,384 --> 00:59:51,749
Crank it, dude!
852
01:00:26,753 --> 01:00:29,779
Wannamakeitsway, Makeitsay
Howdoyoulike that, baby
853
01:00:30,857 --> 01:00:34,452
Spankandnappin'till thishappened
Spankitallaround
854
01:00:35,996 --> 01:00:38,021
Howdoyoulike that, baby
855
01:00:43,570 --> 01:00:46,130
Howdoyoulike that, baby
856
01:00:50,644 --> 01:00:52,839
Spankit
857
01:01:22,209 --> 01:01:25,076
Oh, snap.
This one fainted.
858
01:01:25,145 --> 01:01:28,410
I'm not gonna letyou have anywhite
people unless you take care ofthem.
859
01:01:32,385 --> 01:01:35,183
Shall we go clubbing,
or shall we go clubbing?
860
01:01:35,255 --> 01:01:37,450
Yeah, let's go clubbing.
861
01:01:47,200 --> 01:01:49,191
There's a party over here!
862
01:01:50,337 --> 01:01:53,033
Pest and Chub in the house!
863
01:01:53,106 --> 01:01:56,234
So good, baby.
You know how it is.
864
01:01:56,309 --> 01:02:01,337
- Oh, snap. Is that one ofAngus's men?
- What's he doing here?
865
01:02:01,414 --> 01:02:04,645
Let's not wait to find out.
Let's Houdini outta here.
866
01:02:07,654 --> 01:02:11,454
Plaid everywhere!
Plaid here, plaid there.
867
01:02:11,525 --> 01:02:14,756
- I need reinforcements. Call Ninja.
- Ninga, for reinforcements?
868
01:02:23,670 --> 01:02:24,932
Hello?
869
01:02:27,007 --> 01:02:28,440
Wakey, wakey.
870
01:02:28,508 --> 01:02:30,442
Doyourealize that
whileyou'renapping...
871
01:02:30,510 --> 01:02:33,274
yourbestestoffriends
arebeingstalked?
872
01:02:33,346 --> 01:02:34,745
That's nice.
873
01:02:34,814 --> 01:02:36,281
How's myXantha-poo?
874
01:02:36,349 --> 01:02:39,648
A tranquilizer dart is in her butt.
875
01:02:39,719 --> 01:02:41,846
Thank God!
That'll suck up all the poison.
876
01:02:41,922 --> 01:02:45,790
Weneedyou to Come to the Paris Club
likerightnow.
877
01:02:45,859 --> 01:02:48,919
Meet us in the Karaoke Room.
Later, masturbator.
878
01:02:51,097 --> 01:02:52,530
Hi, there!
879
01:02:56,603 --> 01:02:59,037
- Hey, big guy.
- Excuse me.
880
01:02:59,105 --> 01:03:03,508
We gotta split up and find Vargas
before the Scottish gentlemen do.
881
01:03:03,577 --> 01:03:05,010
Split up.
882
01:03:07,380 --> 01:03:08,813
Seeya.
883
01:03:14,087 --> 01:03:17,454
- Haveyou seen a little Latin boy?
- This is the models' changing room!
884
01:03:17,524 --> 01:03:20,823
- Get out ofmy face!
- What doyou thinkyou're doing?
885
01:03:22,162 --> 01:03:23,652
Excuse me.
886
01:03:23,730 --> 01:03:25,664
Excuse me. Good day.
887
01:03:25,732 --> 01:03:30,431
I'm gonna get Ninja in the Karaoke Room
and meetyou in theJeep.
888
01:03:30,503 --> 01:03:31,936
Go for it.
889
01:03:37,744 --> 01:03:39,541
Sorry, sorry.
890
01:04:04,904 --> 01:04:09,432
Gotalifetime toshare
891
01:04:09,509 --> 01:04:13,411
SomuCh tosay
892
01:04:13,480 --> 01:04:16,677
Foronly time
893
01:04:16,750 --> 01:04:18,411
My God, you suck!
894
01:04:18,485 --> 01:04:20,885
I'm notjust saying it lightly.
You really suck!
895
01:04:20,954 --> 01:04:23,218
I wanna put a hot poker
through my ears!
896
01:04:23,289 --> 01:04:26,349
What'd you do with your singing les...
Get offme. You don't know me.
897
01:04:26,426 --> 01:04:28,394
- Let me showyou to a chair.
- Don't show me nothing.
898
01:04:28,461 --> 01:04:30,986
Show me the way outta here.
899
01:04:31,064 --> 01:04:33,692
- Goodness gracious!
- Good show, ja?
900
01:04:34,501 --> 01:04:37,095
Ja, is a good show.
901
01:04:37,170 --> 01:04:39,138
Could you go away, little man?
You bother me.
902
01:04:39,205 --> 01:04:42,140
- He wants a tip.
- A tip? Why didn'tyou say so?
903
01:04:42,208 --> 01:04:45,268
You buy Honda stock. Okay, get away.
Your breath smells.
904
01:04:45,345 --> 01:04:48,337
He's so too sucky.
I can't...
905
01:04:52,185 --> 01:04:53,618
Ninja! Ninja!
906
01:04:57,323 --> 01:05:01,123
- Ninja. I am a Ninja warrior.
- Really!
907
01:05:01,194 --> 01:05:03,162
Who would like to be next?
908
01:05:03,229 --> 01:05:04,594
Don't be shy.
909
01:05:04,664 --> 01:05:06,427
All right, sir.
910
01:05:06,499 --> 01:05:09,400
- Come on up.
- You go.
911
01:05:11,037 --> 01:05:13,505
Don't be bashful.
Come up.
912
01:05:13,573 --> 01:05:17,168
You make mistake.
I go. No, I can't.
913
01:05:17,243 --> 01:05:21,612
- Come on up.
- I can, I can.
914
01:05:21,681 --> 01:05:23,774
All right!
915
01:05:23,850 --> 01:05:26,410
I was hoping to see my family.
Shoguns and all that.
916
01:05:28,154 --> 01:05:30,122
It's a dangerous crowd out there.
917
01:05:30,190 --> 01:05:32,954
Which Karaoke selection
areyou going to do?
918
01:05:33,026 --> 01:05:35,961
- What selections do we have today?
- They're on the monitor.
919
01:05:39,099 --> 01:05:42,159
"TV Favorites." Why not? Okay.
920
01:05:42,235 --> 01:05:46,365
All right, TV Favorites.
Take it away.
921
01:05:47,240 --> 01:05:49,174
I didn't know they had words
to this!
922
01:05:49,242 --> 01:05:52,439
Wegotaright topiCk
alittle fight, Bonanza
923
01:05:52,512 --> 01:05:56,471
lfanyone fightsanyone
He'sgot to fight withme
924
01:05:56,549 --> 01:05:59,450
Imight want tosaddle up
in one Bonanza
925
01:05:59,519 --> 01:06:01,180
What areyou doing?
926
01:06:01,254 --> 01:06:04,052
I'm taking a break.
927
01:06:04,124 --> 01:06:06,149
- One forfour, Four forone
- You suck!
928
01:06:06,226 --> 01:06:09,957
No, you suck! I kickyour...
PiCkalittle fightBonanza
929
01:06:10,029 --> 01:06:13,760
Doyou recognize
the littleJapanese guy?
930
01:06:13,833 --> 01:06:15,960
- No.
- You sure?
931
01:06:20,740 --> 01:06:22,674
Thankyou very much.
932
01:06:22,742 --> 01:06:27,202
That is Pest Vargas,
you idiot!
933
01:06:28,982 --> 01:06:33,146
I'm going to sing another song,
something from my childhood.
934
01:06:37,056 --> 01:06:39,388
You annoying little weasel,
Pest Vargas!
935
01:06:39,459 --> 01:06:42,917
You a big irritate, round eye.
I am not Pest.
936
01:06:43,730 --> 01:06:47,530
I am Uni Wasabi.
937
01:06:49,335 --> 01:06:54,068
I had the pleasure ofhunting Uni
Wasabi, and you are no Uni Wasabi.
938
01:06:54,140 --> 01:06:55,573
I am too!
939
01:06:58,344 --> 01:07:01,541
Perhaps this
will helpyou decide.
940
01:07:01,614 --> 01:07:04,276
Perhaps this...
941
01:07:04,350 --> 01:07:07,080
will helpyou decide.
942
01:07:09,689 --> 01:07:13,284
You defend yourself
with a punyvile ofcat piss?
943
01:07:13,359 --> 01:07:16,795
- Leo, go get him.
- It's the sex pheromones.
944
01:07:18,932 --> 01:07:20,524
Gustav...
945
01:07:20,600 --> 01:07:24,263
I find myself
strangely drawn toyou.
946
01:07:24,337 --> 01:07:26,931
- Father, I feel funny.
- What?
947
01:07:32,111 --> 01:07:34,773
Let me at him.
948
01:07:34,848 --> 01:07:37,681
You horny dog.
I should've had you fixed.
949
01:07:37,750 --> 01:07:39,274
Let me go.
950
01:07:39,352 --> 01:07:42,844
I didn't knowyou could sing.
951
01:07:42,922 --> 01:07:45,186
Stickwith me, son, and I'll learn ya.
952
01:07:45,258 --> 01:07:48,489
- Where's Gustav?
- He's meeting some new people.
953
01:07:48,561 --> 01:07:51,496
- Let's go.
- I thinkyou should come with us.
954
01:07:51,564 --> 01:07:55,125
No, thanks. My mother said
never to go with strangers.
955
01:07:55,201 --> 01:07:58,261
Butyou seem nice.
956
01:08:03,376 --> 01:08:07,244
Pest, Pest, Pest,
you're a great disappointment.
957
01:08:07,313 --> 01:08:11,249
You thought I was gonna be taller?
I get that a lot, don't I?
958
01:08:11,317 --> 01:08:14,115
Why don'tyou do that impression
I like so much?
959
01:08:14,187 --> 01:08:18,317
I don't want to. The Italians
never make me do impressions.
960
01:08:18,391 --> 01:08:21,485
- Do it.
- Captain, I cannot do it.
961
01:08:21,561 --> 01:08:24,758
The dilithium crystals are breaking up.
She's gonna blow.
962
01:08:35,675 --> 01:08:36,869
Not so fast.
963
01:08:38,244 --> 01:08:39,802
Where's my money?
964
01:08:39,879 --> 01:08:42,814
Look, I'll have the money...
What's the day after today?
965
01:08:42,882 --> 01:08:44,941
- Tomorrow.
- Myword is my bond.
966
01:08:45,018 --> 01:08:46,952
I don't trustyourword.
967
01:08:47,020 --> 01:08:50,751
Okay. Then...
968
01:08:50,823 --> 01:08:55,385
take as collateral that which is
the most precious to me in the world.
969
01:08:55,461 --> 01:08:58,658
And what would that be,
Mr. Vargas?
970
01:09:01,000 --> 01:09:03,969
It's my best friend...
971
01:09:06,406 --> 01:09:08,169
Ninja.
972
01:09:09,709 --> 01:09:12,143
Pest, don't leave me!
They've got skirts!
973
01:09:13,313 --> 01:09:15,543
Don't worry, little friend.
974
01:09:17,116 --> 01:09:19,607
I can't believe
youjust did that.
975
01:09:19,686 --> 01:09:23,019
Don't worry. I got it all covered.
The 24 hours is almost up.
976
01:09:23,089 --> 01:09:26,024
Then we'll get Gustav's money,
then we'll pick him up like that.
977
01:09:26,092 --> 01:09:29,789
- I'm not talking about that!
- What areyou talking about?
978
01:09:29,862 --> 01:09:34,424
You said he was your best friend.
I thought I was your best friend.
979
01:09:35,902 --> 01:09:38,700
Chubby-woomsy.
980
01:09:38,771 --> 01:09:42,502
You are my best friend.
That's why I picked Ninja.
981
01:09:50,717 --> 01:09:52,150
Hello.
982
01:09:52,218 --> 01:09:55,085
- Hello, Pest.
- The oneandonly.
983
01:09:55,154 --> 01:09:58,920
And you are? Wait, don't tell me.
You'll spoil the moment.
984
01:09:58,992 --> 01:10:00,425
Gustav.
985
01:10:00,493 --> 01:10:03,462
Pest, you have
a marvelous family.
986
01:10:03,529 --> 01:10:07,260
My familywas never part
ofthe contract.
987
01:10:07,333 --> 01:10:10,894
Neitherwas your girlfriend's family
or her best friend.
988
01:10:10,970 --> 01:10:14,701
But I don't care.
I'm gonna kill 'em all!
989
01:10:14,774 --> 01:10:19,143
He's gonna kill my family. You do that
and you're gonna be in big trouble.
990
01:10:19,212 --> 01:10:22,375
Jail even.
Can you say "prison bitch"?
991
01:10:24,250 --> 01:10:26,650
Tomorrow I return
to my homeland...
992
01:10:26,719 --> 01:10:29,483
where Iregain mystatus
asa Citizen ofGermany.
993
01:10:29,555 --> 01:10:32,149
But first I have
to settle up with you.
994
01:10:32,225 --> 01:10:37,128
No, Gustav. You're always thinking of
others. We're even. Go back to Germany.
995
01:10:37,196 --> 01:10:40,324
Don't even worry about saying good-bye.
Send me a postcard. Fax ifyou can.
996
01:10:40,400 --> 01:10:44,894
You better get to the freighter
at pier 16 in 20 minutes...
997
01:10:44,971 --> 01:10:48,771
oryou're gonna be
one lonely little Latino.
998
01:10:48,841 --> 01:10:53,437
I'll be there. But for any reason
I'm late, could you start with Malaria?
999
01:10:56,215 --> 01:11:01,118
Head to LibertyShip on pier 16.
Step on it, double it, man!
1000
01:11:05,958 --> 01:11:09,018
Don't be sojumpy.
1001
01:11:09,095 --> 01:11:12,292
- He's got a gun!
- Leave me alone!
1002
01:11:12,365 --> 01:11:17,496
Why areyou doing this?
Why areyou hunting my Pest?
1003
01:11:17,570 --> 01:11:23,372
The man you know as Pest is actually
an operative in your secret service.
1004
01:11:23,443 --> 01:11:27,607
The underworld has placed a high price
on his head. I intend to collect.
1005
01:11:29,248 --> 01:11:32,445
See, Felix? I told you
that my Pest wasn'tjust a bum!
1006
01:11:32,518 --> 01:11:34,748
Actually, I lied.
I'm just hunting him...
1007
01:11:34,821 --> 01:11:40,157
because no one will miss
an inconsequential flotsam like him.
1008
01:11:40,226 --> 01:11:43,593
- That makes more sense.
- How could you agree with this monster?
1009
01:11:43,663 --> 01:11:46,791
- Be quiet.
- Sit down. He gets angry.
1010
01:11:57,076 --> 01:12:00,307
You stay here and guard them.
1011
01:12:00,379 --> 01:12:02,677
I'm going to go look around.
1012
01:12:10,223 --> 01:12:15,661
Oh, Jack! Oh, SlapJones, we finally
got the good stuff, kid.
1013
01:12:16,896 --> 01:12:19,922
- Be all you can be!
- Don't ask, don't tell, right?
1014
01:12:19,999 --> 01:12:21,933
What's that mean?
1015
01:12:22,001 --> 01:12:24,333
- Nothing.
- Just checking.
1016
01:12:28,774 --> 01:12:30,935
You have to believe me.
1017
01:12:31,010 --> 01:12:32,944
None ofthis was my idea.
1018
01:12:36,015 --> 01:12:39,143
I feel you understand.
I get seasick!
1019
01:12:39,218 --> 01:12:41,584
Whywould I want to be on a boat?
1020
01:12:41,654 --> 01:12:44,418
Snake boy's got everybody
I care about down there.
1021
01:12:44,490 --> 01:12:46,549
We gotta think
ofsomething fast.
1022
01:12:46,626 --> 01:12:51,620
I'm gonna give Gustav a little attitude
adjustment, soyou're gonna have...
1023
01:12:51,697 --> 01:12:53,927
I'm not a bad person.
1024
01:12:54,000 --> 01:12:58,198
To tell you the truth,
I don't think he's my father.
1025
01:12:59,238 --> 01:13:01,934
Gustav, where areyou?
1026
01:13:02,008 --> 01:13:03,999
I have arrived!
1027
01:13:06,345 --> 01:13:09,906
Welcome to the Love Boat.
I'm yourwaiter Isaac.
1028
01:13:09,982 --> 01:13:14,078
Gustav, where areyou?
1029
01:13:14,153 --> 01:13:16,212
Don't be shy.
1030
01:13:16,289 --> 01:13:19,019
Goosey, I can seeyour bald spot.
1031
01:13:19,091 --> 01:13:21,685
You're getting warmer.
Oh, you're getting hot.
1032
01:13:21,761 --> 01:13:24,696
You're getting really hot.
You're boiling! You're on fire!
1033
01:13:26,032 --> 01:13:28,933
Goosey, look, I'm over here.
1034
01:13:29,001 --> 01:13:30,935
I'm ashadowofmy formerself.
1035
01:13:35,841 --> 01:13:37,274
SuCker!
1036
01:13:39,645 --> 01:13:45,015
I'm thebig Cornholio.
Ineed T.D. formybungholio.
1037
01:13:45,084 --> 01:13:48,110
Oh, woeisme. Someone's
turnedmeintoa walkie-talkie.
1038
01:13:48,187 --> 01:13:51,782
Helpme! Helpme!
1039
01:13:51,857 --> 01:13:54,382
Why don'tyou come out, Pest?
1040
01:13:54,460 --> 01:13:59,124
What haveyou got left after smoking
a huge cigar? A big butt!
1041
01:14:24,657 --> 01:14:26,591
Where areyou, Pest?
1042
01:14:28,227 --> 01:14:31,924
Yougotme, Gustav!
Yougotmelaughin'atyou.
1043
01:14:31,998 --> 01:14:34,330
My father is insane.
1044
01:14:34,400 --> 01:14:36,595
Doyou know what
he did to me as a child?
1045
01:14:39,972 --> 01:14:42,463
All right, funny boy.
1046
01:14:44,176 --> 01:14:48,112
lfyou don't come out,
your girlfriend gets it.
1047
01:14:48,180 --> 01:14:51,741
All right, saggy cheeks.
But ifl come out, you gotta let her go.
1048
01:14:51,817 --> 01:14:53,079
Deal!
1049
01:14:59,225 --> 01:15:00,749
Let her go.
1050
01:15:06,866 --> 01:15:09,733
- You're all right!
- Everything's okay.
1051
01:15:09,802 --> 01:15:11,531
Now come closer.
1052
01:15:11,604 --> 01:15:14,505
Any closer and
I'd be intimate with you.
1053
01:15:16,175 --> 01:15:19,144
- Only one pest can't be exterminated.
- But I thought...
1054
01:15:21,681 --> 01:15:24,411
Now dropyourweapons.
1055
01:15:27,720 --> 01:15:30,382
I don't know how long
I can keep this thing from firing.
1056
01:15:33,626 --> 01:15:35,719
I loved it.
1057
01:15:35,795 --> 01:15:39,094
I guess wejust sit here and wait
till I become a rich man.
1058
01:15:41,233 --> 01:15:43,394
I meant to do that.
1059
01:15:47,606 --> 01:15:50,097
Let me askyou a question.
1060
01:15:50,176 --> 01:15:51,973
How doyou feel?
1061
01:15:53,346 --> 01:15:57,373
Fine. Why, do I look bloated?
Am I bloated?
1062
01:15:57,450 --> 01:16:00,214
Doyou remember our little toast
on the island, Pest?
1063
01:16:00,286 --> 01:16:03,153
How could I forget?
It gave me indigestion.
1064
01:16:04,457 --> 01:16:06,084
I poisoned your drink.
1065
01:16:06,158 --> 01:16:08,092
What?
1066
01:16:08,160 --> 01:16:12,597
And the poison kills
in exactly 18 hours.
1067
01:16:12,665 --> 01:16:14,496
You are so diabolical.
1068
01:16:14,567 --> 01:16:17,263
Ja.
You've got 15 seconds.
1069
01:16:17,336 --> 01:16:18,997
Enjoy it.
1070
01:16:23,175 --> 01:16:28,169
And by the way, the safe deposit box
is in the Miami Central Bank.
1071
01:16:28,247 --> 01:16:31,011
Your $50,000 is in there.
1072
01:16:31,083 --> 01:16:33,517
Not that it would doyou
any good.
1073
01:16:37,990 --> 01:16:39,981
What areyou talking about?
Hold this.
1074
01:16:40,059 --> 01:16:42,459
I never felt better
in my life!
1075
01:16:42,528 --> 01:16:44,519
lfl was poisoned,
could I do this?
1076
01:16:47,032 --> 01:16:50,661
Or this? Or this?
1077
01:17:10,356 --> 01:17:12,085
I got the head bag.
1078
01:17:12,158 --> 01:17:14,285
Forget it.
That face wouldjust annoy me.
1079
01:17:14,360 --> 01:17:15,827
You cheated!
1080
01:17:15,895 --> 01:17:20,559
- Not now. We'll discuss this at home.
- You'd have to shoot me first.
1081
01:17:23,035 --> 01:17:26,004
- Can't believeyou shot him!
- He's wearing a bulletproofvest.
1082
01:17:27,740 --> 01:17:30,208
It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.
1083
01:17:30,276 --> 01:17:33,507
All right, fine! Himmel,
you stay here amongst the losers.
1084
01:17:33,579 --> 01:17:35,012
Come on, Leo.
1085
01:17:36,382 --> 01:17:38,316
Where to?
1086
01:17:38,384 --> 01:17:41,751
We have much to do.
We're on ourway to the homeland.
1087
01:17:47,660 --> 01:17:51,858
Good morning. I need
to get into my safe deposit box.
1088
01:17:51,931 --> 01:17:54,491
Ofcourse, Mr. Shank.
The guard will letyou in.
1089
01:17:54,567 --> 01:17:57,229
Ja. Splendid.
1090
01:18:03,943 --> 01:18:06,411
I'll just be a minute, Andy.
1091
01:18:38,744 --> 01:18:40,371
Hello?
1092
01:18:40,446 --> 01:18:42,243
Surprise!
1093
01:18:42,314 --> 01:18:44,805
- Pest!
- Yup.
1094
01:18:44,884 --> 01:18:47,853
- But, the poison should've...
- Killedme?
1095
01:18:47,920 --> 01:18:52,823
Notlikely, sinCe Ipukedupall
thepoison on that thrillingboatride.
1096
01:18:52,892 --> 01:18:58,592
With thehelp ofmy friend, the German
Ambassador, Iliberatedyourmoney.
1097
01:18:58,664 --> 01:19:03,158
- My money?
- Right. Andthere wasmore than $50,000.
1098
01:19:03,235 --> 01:19:07,137
AndCheCk this. TheAmbassadoralso
spoke with theauthoritiesaboutyour...
1099
01:19:07,206 --> 01:19:09,299
Howshouldlputit?
ECCentriChuntingaCtivities.
1100
01:19:09,375 --> 01:19:12,902
Hello, fellas. Good-bye.
Don'tforget to write.
1101
01:19:12,978 --> 01:19:14,570
I'll getyou!
1102
01:19:16,916 --> 01:19:19,942
No! No!
I do not recognizeyour authority.
1103
01:19:20,019 --> 01:19:22,715
Go, Pest
Freak to the east
1104
01:19:24,557 --> 01:19:25,990
Yes!
1105
01:19:27,059 --> 01:19:29,527
There he is!
I'm gonna kill you!
1106
01:19:29,595 --> 01:19:32,155
- How dareyou!
- I'm sorry, Mr. Ambassador.
1107
01:19:32,231 --> 01:19:34,165
He's not the Ambassador.
He's an impostor!
1108
01:19:34,233 --> 01:19:39,170
How dareyou question my authority!
1109
01:19:39,238 --> 01:19:43,004
lfl wasn't the Ambassador...
1110
01:19:43,075 --> 01:19:46,340
would I have the confidence
to do this?
1111
01:19:47,546 --> 01:19:49,309
Und this?
1112
01:19:53,886 --> 01:19:56,878
Would I have the downright
perverse impudence...
1113
01:19:56,956 --> 01:19:58,856
and lack oflove for my fellow man
to do this?
1114
01:19:58,924 --> 01:20:01,154
- Wedgie!
- God!
1115
01:20:01,226 --> 01:20:03,717
Therefore I must be
the Ambassador.
1116
01:20:03,796 --> 01:20:05,855
He is not even German.
1117
01:20:05,931 --> 01:20:07,626
Our feet are the same.
1118
01:20:07,700 --> 01:20:10,965
Good-bye toyou and you and you!
1119
01:20:11,036 --> 01:20:12,970
Let's take him away!
1120
01:20:22,214 --> 01:20:25,115
Vargas,
here's your garbage back!
1121
01:20:25,184 --> 01:20:28,745
Ninja, you all right?
What's up, man?
1122
01:20:28,821 --> 01:20:31,756
I knewyou were
my best friend, right?
1123
01:20:31,824 --> 01:20:33,849
- I know.
- He stole my clothes.
1124
01:20:33,926 --> 01:20:35,894
Getyourwhite behind
in thisjeep.
1125
01:20:35,961 --> 01:20:39,556
How many times do I have to tell you?
I'm halfblack.
1126
01:20:39,632 --> 01:20:41,497
Honey, get overyourself.
1127
01:20:48,574 --> 01:20:52,010
Ilike toboogie with my Creeps
CruiseandCreep
1128
01:20:52,077 --> 01:20:54,238
Playin'three-Cardmonty
on these Crazystreets
1129
01:20:54,313 --> 01:20:56,406
Greathustler
I'mgonnasCam inaminute
1130
01:20:56,482 --> 01:20:58,575
Solowto the floor
PiCk thepoCketonamidget
1131
01:20:58,651 --> 01:21:01,211
SliCkshyster
The PestMeister
1132
01:21:01,286 --> 01:21:04,221
Living life in Miami's viCe
Ma, see
1133
01:21:04,289 --> 01:21:07,986
Nobodymessin' with the frog, see
Where'syour Messiahnow
1134
01:21:08,060 --> 01:21:11,621
Voodoomambo
Chili Congo
1135
01:21:11,697 --> 01:21:14,291
OldsChoolbeatmeets Latin freak
Youdon'tstop
1136
01:21:14,366 --> 01:21:19,895
Sweetmambo, do themambo, yeah
Chili Congo
1137
01:21:19,972 --> 01:21:24,306
WhenyoursChoolbeatmeets Latin freak
Youdon'tquitandyoudon'tstop
1138
01:21:30,416 --> 01:21:33,977
I'm hurting, allright, already
I'm "ridiCuliCulous"
1139
01:21:34,053 --> 01:21:36,453
Likeabooger
IstiCk to this
1140
01:21:36,522 --> 01:21:40,652
Takea whiffofthis
I'mstinky dinky
1141
01:21:40,726 --> 01:21:44,492
Twostinky dinky
1142
01:21:44,563 --> 01:21:50,160
Threestinky dinky
1143
01:21:50,235 --> 01:21:54,001
Mirror, mirroron the wall
whois thesliCkestofthem all
1144
01:21:54,073 --> 01:21:58,635
It's thesChemingestkeenestsCam artist
God, it's so hard to be modest!
1145
01:22:01,246 --> 01:22:03,373
Putup the fistiCuffsandthen
1146
01:22:03,449 --> 01:22:07,408
Put 'em up
Put 'em up even
1147
01:22:07,486 --> 01:22:11,616
Voodoomambo
Chili Congo
1148
01:22:11,690 --> 01:22:14,022
OldsChoolbeatmeets Latinstreet
andyoudon'tstop
1149
01:22:24,503 --> 01:22:26,471
JaCkmaybenimble
butl'm asexsymbol
1150
01:22:26,538 --> 01:22:28,597
SosliCk Istole the wiCk
from his CandlestiCk
1151
01:22:28,674 --> 01:22:32,667
I'm in themoodtosCam
simplybeCause ICan
1152
01:22:32,745 --> 01:22:34,542
I'm the Latin Houdini
1153
01:22:34,613 --> 01:22:37,275
Disappearina flash withyour Cash
andl'm baCk likeagenie
1154
01:22:38,584 --> 01:22:41,781
Lucy, I'm home!
Don't do that to me, Lucy!
1155
01:22:41,854 --> 01:22:43,549
Freak to the east
Freak to the west
1156
01:22:43,622 --> 01:22:46,284
Freakbigbootiesandbig Chest
1157
01:22:46,358 --> 01:22:50,192
Yes, y'all, and it's like that!
Why certainly!
1158
01:22:50,262 --> 01:22:54,221
Getstupid, getretarded
'Cause Pest'llget thepartystarted
1159
01:22:54,299 --> 01:22:57,962
Which way did he go, George?
Which way did he go?
1160
01:22:58,036 --> 01:23:01,005
FunkadoCious, grooviloCious
atroCious
1161
01:23:07,412 --> 01:23:09,073
I'm aman ofamillion disguises
1162
01:23:09,148 --> 01:23:11,514
I'm as Crazyas theymake 'em
Ishake 'em, Ibreak 'em
1163
01:23:11,583 --> 01:23:15,644
SosCientific, hate tobespeCific
E=mC2
1164
01:23:15,721 --> 01:23:19,122
Multiply, divideit, slide up insideit
blendit, mixit
1165
01:23:19,191 --> 01:23:20,158
Damn, I'm terrific
1166
01:23:24,797 --> 01:23:28,528
Hippity, hoppity
FeeCropoly, sufferingsuCCotash
1167
01:23:28,600 --> 01:23:30,659
I'msmarterthan
theaverageman, Booboo
1168
01:23:41,780 --> 01:23:43,042
Wait!
1169
01:24:05,938 --> 01:24:09,465
- All like this and like that, right?
- Like this and like that!
1170
01:24:09,541 --> 01:24:12,237
You know what they say?
Never trust a big butt and a smile.
1171
01:24:12,311 --> 01:24:13,744
That's whatyou trust.
1172
01:24:14,000 --> 01:24:17,128
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