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1
00:00:02,787 --> 00:00:04,329
Dad, can you call my phone?
2
00:00:04,330 --> 00:00:06,271
I can't find it anywhere.
3
00:00:06,272 --> 00:00:08,706
Absolutely. I can't bear the
thought of you going a day without
4
00:00:08,707 --> 00:00:11,879
texting, or tweeting or... liking things.
5
00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:13,872
Call Katie.
6
00:00:15,392 --> 00:00:18,514
It's going to voice-mail.
7
00:00:18,515 --> 00:00:20,531
Despise the fact that dad was blind.
8
00:00:20,532 --> 00:00:23,836
He always felt it was his job to keep
an eye on things for Katie and me.
9
00:00:23,837 --> 00:00:26,216
Hi sweetie, it's dad.
10
00:00:26,217 --> 00:00:29,136
I just want to tell you that... I love you.
11
00:00:29,137 --> 00:00:32,969
And you make me proud everyday.
12
00:00:32,970 --> 00:00:35,312
But if you lost that phone
you're not getting another one.
13
00:00:38,350 --> 00:00:40,210
- Dad, that's Anthony.
- Can you get that?
14
00:00:40,220 --> 00:00:42,610
You betcha.
15
00:00:42,620 --> 00:00:44,180
Oh! Hi!
16
00:00:44,190 --> 00:00:46,110
Mr. Fisher, it's Anthony.
17
00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:48,180
I'm your boy's daughter.
18
00:00:48,190 --> 00:00:49,920
Daughter's boyfriend Anthony.
19
00:00:49,930 --> 00:00:52,150
- Come on in.
- Katie's not quite ready yet.
20
00:00:52,160 --> 00:00:54,060
I guess that gives me time to grill you.
21
00:00:54,070 --> 00:00:55,320
Have a seat.
22
00:00:55,330 --> 00:00:56,990
So in the on-again, off-again saga
23
00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:58,390
of Katie and Anthony,
24
00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:00,130
you two are on again?
25
00:01:00,140 --> 00:01:01,430
Full-on on.
26
00:01:02,570 --> 00:01:04,370
Not like... On each other on.
27
00:01:04,380 --> 00:01:06,330
You know, I just meant like, uh...
28
00:01:06,340 --> 00:01:08,040
Katie?
29
00:01:08,050 --> 00:01:09,800
She can't hear you.
30
00:01:09,810 --> 00:01:11,210
So you're taking my daughter
31
00:01:11,220 --> 00:01:12,840
to the spring formal tomorrow night.
32
00:01:12,850 --> 00:01:14,980
- Yeah.
- I can't wait!
33
00:01:14,990 --> 00:01:16,480
The ballroom at the hotel
34
00:01:16,490 --> 00:01:18,350
has the most amazing view of Los Angeles.
35
00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:20,920
You can see all...
36
00:01:20,930 --> 00:01:23,050
Who cares about views, right?
37
00:01:23,060 --> 00:01:25,420
You're not missing much. I'm sorry, I...
38
00:01:25,430 --> 00:01:27,120
It's okay, Anthony. I know I'm blind.
39
00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:28,520
Sorry.
40
00:01:28,530 --> 00:01:30,790
Here's some cash to take
Katie out for a nice dinner
41
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:32,260
before the formal.
42
00:01:32,270 --> 00:01:33,960
Oh, not necessary, Mr. Fisher.
43
00:01:33,970 --> 00:01:35,330
I have a job at Yo Yo Froyo,
44
00:01:35,340 --> 00:01:36,460
so I got it covered.
45
00:01:36,470 --> 00:01:37,730
I have no idea what that is,
46
00:01:37,740 --> 00:01:39,000
but I'm guessing the pay isn't great.
47
00:01:39,010 --> 00:01:40,570
- So... Here you go.
- Ah.
48
00:01:40,580 --> 00:01:42,240
I... I feel like this might be a test.
49
00:01:42,250 --> 00:01:45,970
It's not. Take the 50.
50
00:01:45,980 --> 00:01:47,180
Sir, this is a hundred.
51
00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:48,740
And you passed the test!
52
00:01:48,750 --> 00:01:49,810
All right.
53
00:01:49,820 --> 00:01:51,210
As soon as you give it back.
54
00:01:51,220 --> 00:01:53,610
Yeah.
55
00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:03,690
Oh, Katie, I just saved you
a long lecture from dad.
56
00:02:05,140 --> 00:02:08,430
Mom knew she couldn't look at the text.
57
00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:12,619
She also knew she was
going to look at the text.
58
00:02:13,890 --> 00:02:15,310
"I can't believe you and Anthony
59
00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:17,280
are going to do it after the formal.
60
00:02:17,290 --> 00:02:18,680
Heart, heart, thumbs up."
61
00:02:33,740 --> 00:02:42,268
☯Synced & Corrected by Seppuku17☯
❃www.addic7ed.com❃
62
00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:43,940
Dad didn't know which was harder...
63
00:02:43,950 --> 00:02:47,640
navigating his daughter's
dating life, or his own.
64
00:02:47,650 --> 00:02:49,150
Oh, hey, Mel. It's Allison.
65
00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:51,436
Yeah, I recognized that
lovely voice anywhere.
66
00:02:51,437 --> 00:02:52,729
What are you doing?
67
00:02:52,730 --> 00:02:55,359
Just saving the earth one can at a time.
68
00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:56,720
Hey, listen, I'm sorry we haven't had time
69
00:02:56,730 --> 00:02:58,220
for another date.
70
00:02:58,230 --> 00:03:00,420
Well, technically we haven't
finished the first date.
71
00:03:01,670 --> 00:03:03,390
Even though you did get to second base.
72
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,960
- You're cancelling on me?
- Wait!
73
00:03:05,970 --> 00:03:08,330
Oh, God, I thought you
were gonna slam the door.
74
00:03:08,340 --> 00:03:12,200
Which was nothing compared
to the dinner disaster.
75
00:03:12,210 --> 00:03:14,000
How bad is it?
76
00:03:14,010 --> 00:03:15,350
It's okay.
77
00:03:17,820 --> 00:03:19,180
Check, please!
78
00:03:19,190 --> 00:03:20,810
If I'd known you were allergic to shellfish
79
00:03:20,820 --> 00:03:22,250
of course I never would've
had you try that soup.
80
00:03:22,260 --> 00:03:23,850
Yeah.
81
00:03:23,860 --> 00:03:25,220
You know, I'm thinking maybe
82
00:03:25,230 --> 00:03:26,580
it just isn't in the cards for us.
83
00:03:26,590 --> 00:03:28,250
What? Come on, no!
84
00:03:28,260 --> 00:03:31,150
We can still have a great...
third first... date.
85
00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:32,860
Right? Let's reverse the curse, huh?
86
00:03:32,870 --> 00:03:33,990
How about tonight?
87
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,530
- Tonight?
- Yeah.
88
00:03:35,540 --> 00:03:37,830
- The 13th?
- Friday, the 13th?
89
00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:38,800
Saturday it is.
90
00:03:38,810 --> 00:03:40,460
We'll, uh, keep it simple.
91
00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:41,730
We'll stay in and cook something.
92
00:03:41,740 --> 00:03:43,930
Are you inviting me over to cook for you?
93
00:03:43,940 --> 00:03:45,270
No! Of course not.
94
00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:46,870
I will cook.
95
00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:48,840
I happen to be quite the chef.
96
00:03:48,850 --> 00:03:50,370
Never cooked a thing in his life.
97
00:03:50,380 --> 00:03:53,910
Okay. And here's hoping third time's charm.
98
00:03:55,460 --> 00:03:56,950
While dad was hoping for the best...
99
00:03:58,260 --> 00:04:00,420
Runyen and I were fearing the worst.
100
00:04:00,430 --> 00:04:01,920
I am a dead man.
101
00:04:01,930 --> 00:04:03,390
You know how strict my parents are.
102
00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:04,650
They're gonna kill me.
103
00:04:04,660 --> 00:04:06,420
After the tapioca incident,
104
00:04:06,430 --> 00:04:08,590
trying on my grandmother's wig...
105
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:10,560
This is my third strike.
106
00:04:10,570 --> 00:04:12,330
And yet none of this occurred to you
107
00:04:12,340 --> 00:04:14,360
while you were filling balloons with salsa?
108
00:04:14,370 --> 00:04:17,030
Runyen, I don't think you should do this.
109
00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:19,780
Why? This is the best
thing I've ever thought of!
110
00:04:27,750 --> 00:04:30,180
Oh, no. Vice Principal Collins.
111
00:04:30,190 --> 00:04:32,550
Oh, God.
112
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:34,950
You're both in big trouble.
113
00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:36,350
I'll be sending you home
with a detention slip
114
00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:37,590
for your parents.
115
00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:39,360
Runyen didn't do anything!
116
00:04:39,370 --> 00:04:41,420
It was my idea, he tried
to talk me out of it.
117
00:04:41,430 --> 00:04:43,960
Then you will clean up the mess.
118
00:04:43,970 --> 00:04:45,900
And go easy on the ragtop.
119
00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:48,400
Why'd you do that?
120
00:04:48,410 --> 00:04:51,470
My parents will go a lot easier on me.
121
00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:53,970
You're a good friend, Henry.
122
00:04:53,980 --> 00:04:55,810
Not that good.
123
00:04:55,820 --> 00:04:59,280
Go easy on the ragtop.
124
00:04:59,290 --> 00:05:01,040
So you can't cook anything?
125
00:05:01,050 --> 00:05:03,210
You don't have one signature dish?
126
00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:04,950
I think I'll just get
takeout and put it on plates.
127
00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:06,620
I don't think that's gonna fly.
128
00:05:06,630 --> 00:05:08,250
"Third time's a charm"?
129
00:05:08,260 --> 00:05:09,650
Mel, that's her colorful way of saying,
130
00:05:09,660 --> 00:05:11,020
"three strikes and you're out."
131
00:05:11,030 --> 00:05:13,160
Which is my colorful way of
saying, "don't screw up."
132
00:05:13,170 --> 00:05:14,560
Yeah, I get it.
133
00:05:14,570 --> 00:05:16,260
I mean, I've looked at her,
and I've looked at you.
134
00:05:16,270 --> 00:05:18,090
And you're lucky you got one shot.
135
00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:20,560
I mean, she's... Very attractive.
136
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:21,830
- And you're...
- I get it!
137
00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:23,630
Not as attractive.
138
00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:27,470
While Katie searched for the right shoes
139
00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:29,510
mom was trying to find the right segue.
140
00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:32,110
Okay, I have good news and I have bad news.
141
00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:33,540
Is the good news you're gonna let me borrow
142
00:05:33,550 --> 00:05:34,710
your diamond earrings?
143
00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:37,080
No. The good news is...
144
00:05:37,090 --> 00:05:38,550
I found your cell phone!
145
00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:40,120
Awesome! Thanks, mom!
146
00:05:40,130 --> 00:05:41,580
Bad news is
147
00:05:41,590 --> 00:05:43,290
I might've accidentally
read a text from Nicole
148
00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:44,950
saying, "Can't believe you and Anthony
149
00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:46,490
are going to do it after the prom.
150
00:05:46,500 --> 00:05:48,060
Heart, heart, thumbs up."
151
00:05:48,070 --> 00:05:50,630
I really wanna get on board
with the "thumbs up" part,
152
00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:53,800
I just kinda need to know what the "it" is.
153
00:05:53,810 --> 00:05:55,400
You're ridiculous.
154
00:05:55,410 --> 00:05:57,500
You're sneaking around, reading my texts,
155
00:05:57,510 --> 00:05:59,800
jumping to all sorts of crazy conclusions.
156
00:05:59,810 --> 00:06:01,270
You're right!
157
00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:03,040
That is... that is what I did.
158
00:06:03,050 --> 00:06:04,410
That's what moms do,
159
00:06:04,420 --> 00:06:06,410
they make mountains out of molehills.
160
00:06:06,420 --> 00:06:09,310
How about you know things about my life
161
00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:11,210
because you ask me about them,
162
00:06:11,220 --> 00:06:13,380
and I feel comfortable enough
to share them with you?
163
00:06:13,390 --> 00:06:16,220
Yes! I like that. Let's do that.
164
00:06:16,230 --> 00:06:18,420
You have to promise not to tell dad.
165
00:06:18,430 --> 00:06:19,860
Oh, I won't breathe a
word. I won't say a word.
166
00:06:19,870 --> 00:06:21,720
I won't hum a word. Mum's the word.
167
00:06:21,730 --> 00:06:23,730
Okay.
168
00:06:23,740 --> 00:06:25,130
Okay, so...
169
00:06:25,140 --> 00:06:29,030
After the formal Anthony and
I are gonna sleep together.
170
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:30,630
Oh, thank God!
171
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,870
For a second I thought you were gonna...
172
00:06:35,420 --> 00:06:39,080
Oh! Yeah, that's exactly what
I thought you were gonna say.
173
00:06:40,890 --> 00:06:43,250
I'm gonna... I'm gonna go sit down.
174
00:06:43,260 --> 00:06:44,980
Sure.
175
00:06:44,990 --> 00:06:47,480
I'm gonna see if they have
these strappy ones in my size.
176
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:50,920
Yeah. Go ahead.
177
00:06:50,930 --> 00:06:52,860
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
178
00:06:52,870 --> 00:06:55,830
Some dress shops offer wine!
179
00:06:59,167 --> 00:07:01,750
Mom had always wanted a
special mother-daughter secret.
180
00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:02,880
Until she got it.
181
00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:04,650
So, Anthony and I talked about it,
182
00:07:04,660 --> 00:07:06,020
we're taking precautions.
183
00:07:06,030 --> 00:07:07,950
We've considered all of the
emotional repercussions,
184
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:10,290
and... We feel good about this.
185
00:07:10,300 --> 00:07:12,390
As your mother I just have to tell you
186
00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:14,190
I think you're too young.
187
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:17,960
Well, how old were you
when you first did it?
188
00:07:17,970 --> 00:07:20,300
Mom, car!
189
00:07:25,490 --> 00:07:27,490
- Mel! Hi.
- Hi, Joyce!
190
00:07:27,500 --> 00:07:29,050
You know what I miss most
about living with you?
191
00:07:29,060 --> 00:07:31,260
How if I had a secret you would dig and dig
192
00:07:31,270 --> 00:07:33,859
until I had no choice but to tell you?
193
00:07:33,860 --> 00:07:34,630
Your lemon chicken.
194
00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:35,860
What?
195
00:07:35,870 --> 00:07:37,300
Yeah, I've been craving
your signature dish.
196
00:07:37,310 --> 00:07:38,530
Can't get it out of my mind!
197
00:07:38,540 --> 00:07:40,570
Uh, well, I'd love to
make it for you sometime,
198
00:07:40,580 --> 00:07:44,600
- but I don't have the ingred...
- I got lemon, I got chicken.
199
00:07:44,610 --> 00:07:46,210
Even though dad was the lawyer,
200
00:07:46,220 --> 00:07:47,770
mom was gonna try to lead the witness.
201
00:07:47,780 --> 00:07:51,040
So, Katie's formal is tonight.
202
00:07:51,050 --> 00:07:53,450
Remember formals and
all the stuff kids did,
203
00:07:53,460 --> 00:07:56,979
and I guess still do,
after the dancing stops?
204
00:07:56,980 --> 00:07:59,430
Can I just take this
home in the serving dish?
205
00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:00,329
I wanna eat it right out of that.
206
00:08:00,330 --> 00:08:01,520
Sure.
207
00:08:01,530 --> 00:08:05,360
So I've become aware of a situation
208
00:08:05,370 --> 00:08:07,160
of a romantic nature
involving a family member,
209
00:08:07,170 --> 00:08:09,090
something I expected
to happen at some point
210
00:08:09,100 --> 00:08:10,559
but not this soon.
211
00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:12,262
I know what you're getting at, Joyce.
212
00:08:12,265 --> 00:08:13,101
- You do?
- Yeah.
213
00:08:13,102 --> 00:08:15,409
I guess I should've told you sooner, but...
214
00:08:15,410 --> 00:08:17,040
I just thought it might
make you uncomfortable.
215
00:08:17,050 --> 00:08:20,440
- Me? Bout you?
- You're okay with this?
216
00:08:20,450 --> 00:08:22,780
It was bound to happen eventually, right?
217
00:08:22,790 --> 00:08:23,980
Who told you?
218
00:08:23,990 --> 00:08:26,080
Katie, who swore me to secrecy.
219
00:08:26,090 --> 00:08:27,450
I just wanna go on record
220
00:08:27,460 --> 00:08:29,480
as saying I am not okay with this at all.
221
00:08:29,490 --> 00:08:30,920
- She's too young!
- What are you...
222
00:08:30,930 --> 00:08:32,350
I think she's older than you are.
223
00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:34,050
What are we talking about?
224
00:08:34,060 --> 00:08:36,790
The fact that I have a date is
what we're talking about, right?
225
00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:38,490
Sometimes two confused parents
226
00:08:38,500 --> 00:08:40,990
equal one kid's window of opportunity.
227
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,860
Mom, there was this
balloon incident at school.
228
00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:45,930
Long story short, I just need
a parent's signature on this.
229
00:08:45,940 --> 00:08:47,300
Great, great, great.
230
00:08:47,310 --> 00:08:48,800
I knew it would be easy, but...
231
00:08:48,810 --> 00:08:50,200
Not that easy.
232
00:08:50,210 --> 00:08:52,710
I gotta say, Joyce, I'm glad
this is out in the open.
233
00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:55,270
I don't think we should be
keeping things from each other.
234
00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:56,410
What are you guys talking about?
235
00:08:56,420 --> 00:08:58,280
Oh, hey, sweetie.
236
00:08:58,290 --> 00:08:59,949
Yep! Cat's outta the bag.
237
00:08:59,950 --> 00:09:00,950
What?
238
00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,510
Mom knows I'm dating Allison.
239
00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:04,050
Yes, that. That's all
that's out of the bag.
240
00:09:04,060 --> 00:09:07,550
Everything else is still
shoved deep into the bag.
241
00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:08,990
So mom couldn't talk to dad,
242
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,860
and she already tried talking to Katie.
243
00:09:10,870 --> 00:09:13,030
And with the formal just hours away,
244
00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:14,460
that left one option...
245
00:09:14,470 --> 00:09:16,160
One... extremely awkward option.
246
00:09:16,170 --> 00:09:17,660
Anthony.
247
00:09:17,670 --> 00:09:18,930
Oh, hi, Mrs. Fisher.
248
00:09:18,940 --> 00:09:20,470
Um, can you take a break?
249
00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:21,900
There's something I
wanna talk to you about.
250
00:09:21,910 --> 00:09:23,170
Oh, uh...
251
00:09:23,180 --> 00:09:25,570
Okay, wait, so you didn't
get in trouble at all?
252
00:09:25,580 --> 00:09:27,210
It's nuts.
253
00:09:27,220 --> 00:09:29,540
Lately my parents have been
so preoccupied with Katie
254
00:09:29,550 --> 00:09:32,210
seems I can get away with anything.
255
00:09:32,220 --> 00:09:33,480
Let's test it.
256
00:09:38,430 --> 00:09:41,660
So Katie told me about your
plan for after the formal.
257
00:09:43,270 --> 00:09:45,360
About getting...
258
00:09:45,370 --> 00:09:46,890
Late-night pancakes?
259
00:09:46,900 --> 00:09:48,730
Come on, we both know
what we're talking about.
260
00:09:48,740 --> 00:09:50,700
I didn't...
261
00:09:50,710 --> 00:09:53,200
And I just have to say, as her mother,
262
00:09:53,210 --> 00:09:54,930
I don't feel very good about...
263
00:09:54,940 --> 00:09:57,070
everything okay here?
264
00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:59,810
Two yogurt flavors...
265
00:09:59,820 --> 00:10:01,410
Swirling.
266
00:10:01,420 --> 00:10:03,010
O... okay.
267
00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:04,340
You know, they don't have to swirl.
268
00:10:04,350 --> 00:10:05,580
You could keep them separate.
269
00:10:05,590 --> 00:10:07,280
Yes!
270
00:10:07,290 --> 00:10:09,310
Separate! Great idea!
271
00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:12,250
They can be in the same cup.
They can even tough a little.
272
00:10:12,260 --> 00:10:14,150
You know that's all right.
That's fine, I'm not a prude.
273
00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:17,320
But they do not need to full-on swirl.
274
00:10:17,330 --> 00:10:19,190
- O... o... okay.
- Mom!
275
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,030
Is this too much yogurt?
276
00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:22,930
And can I cover it entirely in candy?
277
00:10:22,940 --> 00:10:24,330
Sounds good, hon.
278
00:10:24,340 --> 00:10:27,300
I just don't get why everyone's
in such a rush to swirl.
279
00:10:27,310 --> 00:10:29,270
Trust me, it just makes
things more complicated.
280
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:32,070
On the other hand some
people really like swirling
281
00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:34,240
because it creates a wonderful new flavor.
282
00:10:34,250 --> 00:10:37,180
That... no, that's exactly
what we don't want, Alan.
283
00:10:37,190 --> 00:10:39,350
We don't want a little... third... flavor
284
00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:40,850
to have to take care of.
285
00:10:40,860 --> 00:10:43,720
Oh, my God.
286
00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:46,820
Hey! What are you guys doing here?
287
00:10:46,830 --> 00:10:48,720
Mom!
288
00:10:48,730 --> 00:10:50,820
Hi!
289
00:10:50,830 --> 00:10:53,060
Yeah, just a small cone.
290
00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:55,190
Oh, yeah. Sure. Uh...
291
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:56,660
What?
292
00:10:56,670 --> 00:10:58,470
Just a moment.
293
00:11:02,780 --> 00:11:04,100
Welcome, guest of honor.
294
00:11:04,110 --> 00:11:05,340
You're a little bit early.
295
00:11:05,350 --> 00:11:07,210
My famous lemon chicken
is... still in the oven.
296
00:11:07,220 --> 00:11:09,680
Your famous lemon chick...
297
00:11:09,690 --> 00:11:12,510
Oh, my God, you got me
to cook for your date?
298
00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:14,080
Dammit. I thought you were Allison.
299
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:16,420
Is Katie still getting
dressed for the formal?
300
00:11:16,430 --> 00:11:18,150
I feel like maybe she shouldn't go.
301
00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:19,390
Katie! Sweetie!
302
00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:20,520
She's gone, Joyce.
303
00:11:20,530 --> 00:11:22,550
She had Anthony pick her up early.
304
00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:24,690
But don't worry, I took a
photo of them before they left.
305
00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:26,760
Hopefully they're both in it.
306
00:11:26,770 --> 00:11:29,160
Anyway, I'd love to chat but,
as you know, I have a date
307
00:11:29,170 --> 00:11:30,630
and I really need it to go well.
308
00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:32,400
So unless you wanna make us a dessert...
309
00:11:32,410 --> 00:11:34,970
Yeah, yeah, I'll get going.
310
00:11:34,980 --> 00:11:36,770
Sorry I missed Katie.
311
00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,370
Eh, no big deal. It's just a dance.
312
00:11:38,380 --> 00:11:40,110
Uh-huh.
313
00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:41,940
Although our little girl
is becoming a young woman.
314
00:11:41,950 --> 00:11:43,880
Yeah, well, it's happening
a little too fast
315
00:11:43,890 --> 00:11:45,410
if you ask me.
316
00:11:45,420 --> 00:11:46,750
Yeah, maybe.
317
00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:48,510
But Anthony's nice.
318
00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:50,680
I always liked that kid.
She's in good hands.
319
00:11:50,690 --> 00:11:52,150
Those hands are gonna be all over her,
320
00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:53,420
because after the formal
321
00:11:53,430 --> 00:11:54,620
she and Anthony are gonna have sex!
322
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:58,290
And just like that...
323
00:11:58,300 --> 00:11:59,970
The cat came screeching out of the bag.
324
00:12:11,180 --> 00:12:12,840
Oh, so she says she's ready.
325
00:12:12,850 --> 00:12:15,451
Trust me, the girl who
keeps losing her cell phone
326
00:12:15,452 --> 00:12:17,771
is not mature enough to lose her...
327
00:12:17,772 --> 00:12:18,604
Can't even say it.
328
00:12:18,605 --> 00:12:20,400
But a ton of other things were said.
329
00:12:20,410 --> 00:12:21,760
Here are some of the highlights.
330
00:12:21,770 --> 00:12:23,800
I'm trying to keep the
lines of communication open.
331
00:12:23,810 --> 00:12:26,000
Great! You two can choose
baby names together!
332
00:12:26,010 --> 00:12:27,770
Dad won that point.
333
00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:30,140
We tell her no, she's just going to rebel.
334
00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:32,240
If you recall my mom didn't
want me to go out with you,
335
00:12:32,250 --> 00:12:34,510
and on our second date we made Katie!
336
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,010
Ooh, advantage mom.
337
00:12:36,020 --> 00:12:37,510
I never liked that kid.
338
00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:40,420
It's not Anthony's fault.
He's a sweet, shy kid.
339
00:12:40,430 --> 00:12:41,880
When I went to visit him at work
340
00:12:41,890 --> 00:12:43,350
he practically crawled into his sh...
341
00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:45,320
Oh, my God, that's it!
342
00:12:45,330 --> 00:12:47,290
All I have to do is go to the hotel.
343
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:48,620
I can say I'm bringing Katie
344
00:12:48,630 --> 00:12:49,960
the diamond earrings she wanted to borrow,
345
00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:51,290
and the mere fact of me being there
346
00:12:51,300 --> 00:12:54,130
will make Anthony go, byoo.
347
00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:55,460
- That's the sound of his...
- Yeah, I get it.
348
00:12:55,470 --> 00:12:56,800
That is a terrible idea.
349
00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:58,570
I am the one who intimidates Anthony.
350
00:12:58,580 --> 00:13:00,070
I will go down there
and put an end to this.
351
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:01,500
I'll put an end to him!
352
00:13:01,510 --> 00:13:02,970
I should clarify, for legal reasons,
353
00:13:02,980 --> 00:13:05,610
it is not my intent to actually
go down there and kill him.
354
00:13:05,620 --> 00:13:07,840
So just in case I do...
It was not premeditated.
355
00:13:07,850 --> 00:13:10,780
Mel, this is exactly why Katie
and I didn't wanna tell you.
356
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,850
We both knew you'd fly off the handle
357
00:13:12,860 --> 00:13:14,020
I'm her father!
358
00:13:14,030 --> 00:13:15,250
It's my job to fly off the handle!
359
00:13:15,260 --> 00:13:16,450
- I'm going with you.
- Nope!
360
00:13:16,460 --> 00:13:17,790
I got this.
361
00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:19,090
Have a great date.
362
00:13:19,100 --> 00:13:20,770
Enjoy your floor chicken.
363
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:23,430
Joyce, I'm...
364
00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:25,460
With Katie getting all of
mom and dad's attention
365
00:13:25,470 --> 00:13:27,371
I was beginning to feel
like I didn't exist.
366
00:13:27,372 --> 00:13:29,099
There's no way we're
getting away with this.
367
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,350
You're probably right.
368
00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:31,620
- She'll shut it down.
- Henry!
369
00:13:31,630 --> 00:13:33,090
Have you seen brown leather bag?
370
00:13:33,100 --> 00:13:35,160
I left my diamond earrings in it.
371
00:13:35,170 --> 00:13:36,720
No. We were just playing black and blue.
372
00:13:36,730 --> 00:13:38,320
It's where you try to get the worst injury.
373
00:13:38,330 --> 00:13:39,460
Fun!
374
00:13:39,470 --> 00:13:41,030
Extra poin for blood loss!
375
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:42,640
Ah, never mind! Found it!
376
00:13:44,070 --> 00:13:47,100
Let's do this.
377
00:13:47,110 --> 00:13:49,000
Ahh!
378
00:13:49,010 --> 00:13:51,300
Ah! Ugh!
379
00:13:51,310 --> 00:13:53,510
Gotta run a quick errand.
380
00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:56,310
There's cold pizza in the
fridge. If you guys get hungry.
381
00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:58,620
The only injury I got was a bruised ego.
382
00:14:01,290 --> 00:14:03,050
Well, hello there.
383
00:14:03,060 --> 00:14:06,420
First, I wish I could see how
beautiful I know you look.
384
00:14:06,430 --> 00:14:08,690
Second, I have been looking
forward to this all day.
385
00:14:10,070 --> 00:14:11,390
And thirdly I have to leave immediately,
386
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:13,530
and I need you to drive me.
387
00:14:13,540 --> 00:14:15,160
Sir, I can't open the door.
388
00:14:15,170 --> 00:14:17,460
Are you aware that this hotel
has provided lodging to minors
389
00:14:17,470 --> 00:14:19,370
who intend to engage
in lascivious activity?
390
00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:21,030
I just deliver room service,
391
00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:22,400
I'm not allowed to let you in.
392
00:14:22,410 --> 00:14:23,900
Let me make this real simple for you, pal.
393
00:14:23,910 --> 00:14:25,200
I'm a blind attorney.
394
00:14:25,210 --> 00:14:26,740
This is my guide dog, this is my date.
395
00:14:26,750 --> 00:14:28,110
None of that is really relevant.
396
00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:29,840
This room is registered
in the name of "Fisher,"
397
00:14:29,850 --> 00:14:31,480
as in "Katherine Elaine Fisher,"
398
00:14:31,490 --> 00:14:33,310
who happens to be my 16-year-old daughter.
399
00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:34,610
If you don't open this door immediately,
400
00:14:34,620 --> 00:14:35,920
I will have you arrested
401
00:14:35,930 --> 00:14:37,420
for contributing to the
delinquency of a minor.
402
00:14:37,430 --> 00:14:38,850
Fine.
403
00:14:38,860 --> 00:14:41,550
Katie's mom tends to be
a little bit dramatic.
404
00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:46,200
I'm still holding out hope she
misread her intentions here.
405
00:14:47,740 --> 00:14:50,130
Uh, I don't think she misread it.
406
00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:51,660
Between the rose petals and the candle,
407
00:14:51,670 --> 00:14:54,030
I'd say this room is ready for some action.
408
00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:56,870
This is the worst night of my life.
409
00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:59,770
Oh, just what every girl
on a date wants to hear.
410
00:14:59,780 --> 00:15:01,340
You're right, I'm sorry.
411
00:15:01,350 --> 00:15:03,480
How could this date possibly get worse?
412
00:15:03,490 --> 00:15:04,780
Mel.
413
00:15:04,790 --> 00:15:05,980
Mel?
414
00:15:05,990 --> 00:15:07,380
Had to ask.
415
00:15:07,390 --> 00:15:09,350
Allison, meet my ex, Joyce.
416
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:10,950
- Oh, that's a great bag.
- Cute shoes!
417
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:13,150
Thanks!
418
00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:14,420
Mel, why are you here?
419
00:15:14,430 --> 00:15:15,920
I specifically told you
that I would handle it.
420
00:15:15,930 --> 00:15:17,560
I told him I would handle it.
421
00:15:17,570 --> 00:15:19,030
Yes. Her version of handling it
422
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:21,030
woulbe to sit down and talk
about everyone's feelings.
423
00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:22,660
Where my version of handling it,
424
00:15:22,670 --> 00:15:24,330
will be to throw Katie over my shoulder
425
00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:25,970
and take her home where she belongs!
426
00:15:25,980 --> 00:15:27,230
You see what I have to deal with...
427
00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:29,400
Okay, well, you both make some good points,
428
00:15:29,410 --> 00:15:31,140
and I just feel super lucky
to be in the middle of it.
429
00:15:31,150 --> 00:15:32,640
Oh, here they are.
430
00:15:32,650 --> 00:15:34,570
Mel, you park it on those rose petals
431
00:15:34,580 --> 00:15:36,740
and let me handle this
you little son of a bitch!
432
00:15:36,750 --> 00:15:38,240
Do you have any idea how old she is?
433
00:15:38,250 --> 00:15:39,980
- It's not...
- 74?
434
00:15:39,990 --> 00:15:41,350
What is happening?
435
00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:43,680
Oh, we must have the wrong room.
436
00:15:43,690 --> 00:15:45,450
This is the Fisher room.
437
00:15:45,460 --> 00:15:48,350
Yes, we're Elliot and Estelle Fisher.
438
00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:50,920
It's our 40th anniversary.
439
00:15:50,930 --> 00:15:52,290
- Wow!
- That's wonderful!
440
00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:53,540
- Congratulations!
- Heck of a milestone!
441
00:15:59,440 --> 00:15:59,980
Here we go.
442
00:15:59,987 --> 00:16:01,700
Monotonous music, inappropriate lyrics,
443
00:16:01,710 --> 00:16:02,830
raucous teenage laughter.
444
00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:04,700
His ears have X-ray vision.
445
00:16:06,965 --> 00:16:08,070
Yeah, that's it.
446
00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,740
You know, I think it's time for me to go.
447
00:16:10,750 --> 00:16:12,210
Joyce can give you a ride,
448
00:16:12,220 --> 00:16:14,810
and this is really a
private family situation.
449
00:16:14,820 --> 00:16:16,680
I cannot tell you how sorry I am.
450
00:16:16,690 --> 00:16:18,380
It's just...
451
00:16:18,390 --> 00:16:19,950
I would never forgive
myself if my daughter...
452
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:22,350
Made a mistake tonight
that I could've prevented.
453
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:24,850
You know, I have a daughter too,
454
00:16:24,860 --> 00:16:27,390
and her dad doesn't show up for her
455
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:28,820
the way you show up for your kids.
456
00:16:28,830 --> 00:16:30,560
I really respect that.
457
00:16:30,570 --> 00:16:32,690
In fact it's... Pretty attractive.
458
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:35,460
Ooh! Body lotion.
459
00:16:35,470 --> 00:16:38,100
Is there any chance that
you would be crazy enough
460
00:16:38,110 --> 00:16:40,300
to consider a fourth first date?
461
00:16:40,310 --> 00:16:43,880
I don't know, Mel I'm pretty crazy.
462
00:16:46,180 --> 00:16:47,510
What do you know?
463
00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:48,940
Allison threw dad a curveball.
464
00:16:48,950 --> 00:16:50,940
Meanwhile I was lining up for a pitch
465
00:16:50,950 --> 00:16:52,310
that would light up the whole stadium.
466
00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:54,480
Are we really going to do this?
467
00:16:54,490 --> 00:16:55,750
Why not?
468
00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:57,580
If my parents don't care...
469
00:16:57,590 --> 00:17:01,320
Why should we?
470
00:17:01,330 --> 00:17:03,560
Oh!
471
00:17:03,570 --> 00:17:05,860
I can't listen to this anymore.
472
00:17:05,870 --> 00:17:07,330
I know for a fact that Haley did not
473
00:17:07,340 --> 00:17:09,760
get a promise ring from Deshawn.
474
00:17:11,010 --> 00:17:13,530
Hey, let's head over to Tommy's.
475
00:17:13,540 --> 00:17:16,400
Nice.
476
00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:19,040
We're in!
477
00:17:19,050 --> 00:17:20,270
What do we got?
478
00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:21,810
What do you see? Where's Katie?
479
00:17:21,820 --> 00:17:23,710
She's not in here.
480
00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:25,450
She must be...
481
00:17:25,460 --> 00:17:27,280
In the bedroom.
482
00:17:27,290 --> 00:17:28,950
Elvis, find door.
483
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,620
Mel, find self-restraint.
484
00:17:30,630 --> 00:17:31,890
Get your hands off my daughter,
485
00:17:31,900 --> 00:17:32,990
you little pervert!
486
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,190
Or burst right in!
487
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:35,690
Mr. Fisher!
488
00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:37,020
What are you doing here?
489
00:17:37,030 --> 00:17:39,230
Hi, Nicole.
490
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:40,630
What is happening? Who's Nicole?
491
00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:42,230
Where's Katie?
492
00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:45,330
She and Anthony left, like, an hour ago.
493
00:17:45,340 --> 00:17:46,630
Oh! Our mistake.
494
00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:48,940
But... on behalf of fathers everywhere,
495
00:17:48,950 --> 00:17:50,680
button up and get out.
496
00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:53,410
Calm down.
497
00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:54,810
We don't know if anything happened!
498
00:17:54,820 --> 00:17:56,010
Oh, something happened.
499
00:17:56,020 --> 00:17:57,280
If not in a hotel,
500
00:17:57,290 --> 00:17:59,480
then in a backseat or a
broom closet or a tree.
501
00:17:59,490 --> 00:18:00,710
A tree?
502
00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:02,380
Hormones find a way, Joyce.
503
00:18:02,390 --> 00:18:04,320
Well, well, well.
504
00:18:04,330 --> 00:18:05,790
Look who's finally home
505
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:08,020
after trying to ruin
their daughter's night.
506
00:18:08,030 --> 00:18:10,160
Yeah, Nicole texted me.
507
00:18:10,170 --> 00:18:11,890
You didn't read that one, did ya?
508
00:18:13,270 --> 00:18:15,600
How could you tell him? You promised!
509
00:18:15,610 --> 00:18:19,700
And I kept that promise...
for an astoundingly long time.
510
00:18:19,710 --> 00:18:21,670
Katie, I need to talk to you.
511
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:22,970
Save it, dad.
512
00:18:22,980 --> 00:18:25,170
I don't need to hear a big speech from you.
513
00:18:25,180 --> 00:18:27,670
Anthony and I decided not to do it.
514
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:30,240
Oh, great!
515
00:18:30,250 --> 00:18:31,480
I mean, pfft. Whatever.
516
00:18:31,490 --> 00:18:32,780
- Totally up to you.
- Katie.
517
00:18:32,790 --> 00:18:34,480
Mel, let's not make this night anymore...
518
00:18:34,490 --> 00:18:37,250
No, I want to say this.
I need her to hear it.
519
00:18:39,030 --> 00:18:41,050
- Young lady...
- Hear it comes.
520
00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:45,160
You are gonna make a lotta
choices in this life,
521
00:18:45,170 --> 00:18:47,460
some good, some bad.
522
00:18:47,470 --> 00:18:51,030
But I take comfort in knowing
that you have a good head
523
00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:53,830
and a good heart.
524
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:55,870
Now I can't promise that I won't try
525
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:57,700
to make every boy who comes to your door
526
00:18:57,710 --> 00:18:59,010
tremble with fear.
527
00:18:59,020 --> 00:19:03,240
That is my God-given right as a dad.
528
00:19:03,250 --> 00:19:06,110
I just hope that...
529
00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:08,720
When you make the big decisions in life...
530
00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:10,080
When you look back
531
00:19:10,090 --> 00:19:12,260
you feel good about yourself.
532
00:19:16,230 --> 00:19:17,790
What he said.
533
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:20,060
Even though that's what I already said.
534
00:19:20,070 --> 00:19:23,660
Well, it doesn't really
matter who said what when.
535
00:19:23,670 --> 00:19:25,000
You're right.
536
00:19:26,410 --> 00:19:27,970
Okay, I totally know
you're mouthing something.
537
00:19:27,980 --> 00:19:29,940
You guys are exhausting.
538
00:19:29,950 --> 00:19:33,110
Dad's words that night
had a big impact on Katie.
539
00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:35,980
Oh, not the dramatic speech
you just heard, these words.
540
00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:38,650
Hi, sweetie, it's dad.
541
00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:41,450
I just wanna tell you that I love you
542
00:19:41,460 --> 00:19:44,380
and you make me proud every day.
543
00:19:44,390 --> 00:19:46,320
But if you lost that phone
you're not getting another one.
544
00:19:47,900 --> 00:19:50,620
- God, your dad.
- Yeah, I know.
545
00:19:50,630 --> 00:19:53,160
Wait. What's that supposed to mean?
546
00:19:53,170 --> 00:19:55,430
Kind of overbearing, right?
547
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:57,830
No, he just loves me.
What's wrong with that?
548
00:19:57,840 --> 00:19:59,830
Just has a weird way of showing it.
549
00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:03,740
By leaving me messages and
telling me that he loves me?
550
00:20:03,750 --> 00:20:06,170
You know, just because your
dad moved to Cincinnati...
551
00:20:06,180 --> 00:20:07,810
He relocated for work.
552
00:20:07,820 --> 00:20:09,580
Yeah, that's why.
553
00:20:09,590 --> 00:20:11,140
And in the on-again, off-again saga
554
00:20:11,150 --> 00:20:12,480
of Katie and Anthony...
555
00:20:12,490 --> 00:20:14,080
We facetime!
556
00:20:14,090 --> 00:20:15,720
They were off again.
557
00:20:17,230 --> 00:20:19,220
You really surprised me there.
558
00:20:19,230 --> 00:20:20,850
Kinda surprised myself.
559
00:20:20,860 --> 00:20:22,860
But you know, this whole
self-restraint thing,
560
00:20:22,870 --> 00:20:25,360
it's a lot easier when you
have two terrific kids.
561
00:20:26,900 --> 00:20:28,630
What the hell is that?
562
00:20:30,010 --> 00:20:32,849
Henry! What are you doing?
563
00:20:32,850 --> 00:20:34,889
Have you lost your mind?
564
00:20:34,890 --> 00:20:37,369
Finally. I was back on their radar.
565
00:20:37,370 --> 00:20:39,491
You are in big trouble, mister.
566
00:20:39,492 --> 00:20:49,490
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