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♪♪
4
00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:26,067
Man's voice:
This is St. Albert's.
5
00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:30,572
It's a teaching hospital
where interns learn
to become doctors.
6
00:00:30,613 --> 00:00:34,909
It's also
the worst run hospital
in the medical system.
7
00:00:34,951 --> 00:00:38,705
And it's where I got posted
for the final year
of my internship.
8
00:00:38,747 --> 00:00:40,832
It wasn't my first choice
for clinical rotation,
9
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,459
or even my second.
10
00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:45,086
In fact, no one would choose
a rotation at St. Albert's.
11
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:51,426
Woman over P.A.:
Dr. Kuzinski, report to ER.
Dr. Kuzinski.
12
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:54,512
- What have we got guys?
- ( laughing )
13
00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:56,431
Okay, enough,
all right? Stop.
14
00:00:56,473 --> 00:00:59,100
Sir, calm down.
You're at St. Albert's.
You're in good hands now.
15
00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:01,519
Man #2:
All right, Whitecoats,
stay close.
16
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:03,730
You'll spend the third year
of your clinical internship
17
00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:06,107
rotating in intervals
starting here in E.R...
18
00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:08,109
Man:
That's Dr. Olson.
19
00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:11,362
He's the one who decides
whether we pass or fail.
20
00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:14,532
...Orthopedics,
and finally, ob/gyn,
21
00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:16,493
but not necessarily
in that order.
22
00:01:16,534 --> 00:01:20,497
Remember, failure
or dropout rate is 50%.
23
00:01:20,538 --> 00:01:22,373
So take a look
around you.
24
00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:25,126
Either you or the person
next to you
25
00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:27,295
will never become
a doctor.
26
00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:33,301
Man:
That's me-- Mike Bonnert,
the guy with the glasses,
27
00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:35,386
doing my best to stay out
of the line of fire.
28
00:01:35,428 --> 00:01:38,556
Mr. Bonnert, what is
the non-surgical alternative
29
00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:40,642
to c.a.b.g. Surgery?
30
00:01:40,683 --> 00:01:44,437
Well, um,
I guess drugs...
31
00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:47,732
Uh, sotatol to lower
the blood pressure.
32
00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,651
Wrong.
The correct answer is
33
00:01:49,692 --> 00:01:53,530
percutaneous transluminal
coronary angioplasty,
or p.t.c.a.
34
00:01:53,571 --> 00:01:56,825
- Yes.
- I'm surprised you didn't
know that, Mr. Bonnert.
35
00:01:56,866 --> 00:01:59,953
I guess having
two distinguished doctors
as parents
36
00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:02,413
is no guarantee
that you will become one.
37
00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:04,791
I'm pleased
to mark you down
with an F for today.
38
00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:07,252
- Okay.
- Moving on.
39
00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:13,049
- Okay.
- Hey, how are you doin'?
40
00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:16,594
- Super.
- Well, you look fantastic.
41
00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:19,889
Ass.
42
00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:23,101
Anyone care
to enlighten us?
Mr. Dodd.
43
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,937
Do a blood and urine workup
44
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:28,189
and then run it
through the lab for
possible infection.
45
00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:30,233
Wrong. The patient
could be dead
46
00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:32,318
before the results
come back from the lab.
47
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,863
Well, that sounds
like an administrative
problem to me.
48
00:02:34,904 --> 00:02:37,407
The only administrative
problem we have at
this hospital
49
00:02:37,448 --> 00:02:40,201
is admitting interns
with no knowledge whatsoever.
50
00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:43,163
I'm pleased to mark
you down with an F
for the day, Mr. Dodd.
51
00:02:43,204 --> 00:02:44,747
I aim to please.
52
00:02:44,789 --> 00:02:47,208
Anyone else have
an answer for me? Yes.
53
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:49,252
Pressure test,
right side.
54
00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:52,422
Check for rebound tenderness,
periumbilical radiating
off the right side
55
00:02:52,463 --> 00:02:54,048
for possible
inflamed appendix.
56
00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:56,551
Very good, Miss Towers.
57
00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:58,553
Moving on.
58
00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:01,931
So isn't anyone
gonna pressure test
my... Whatever?
59
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:06,186
All right.
Burn victim,
second degree.
60
00:03:06,227 --> 00:03:08,438
I need a definition,
please.
61
00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:10,148
Miss Lee.
62
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,733
Yes, sir.
In second-degree burns,
63
00:03:11,774 --> 00:03:13,610
the epidermis and part
of the dermis are damaged,
64
00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:16,404
producing blisters
and mild-to-moderate
edema and pain.
65
00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:19,365
- All right, and treatment?
- Local anti-infectives,
66
00:03:19,407 --> 00:03:21,409
topical steroids
to reduce inflammation,
67
00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:23,620
- Astringents to
shrink tissues--
- No.
68
00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:27,123
That might be plausible
in a textbook from the 1930s,
69
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:28,708
but we're in
the new millennium,
70
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:30,418
and I have
a burned man in a bed,
71
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:31,794
so I need another answer.
72
00:03:31,836 --> 00:03:34,756
- Yes.
- You bathe the skin
with saline,
73
00:03:34,797 --> 00:03:36,591
and you dress
with a wet gauze.
74
00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:38,468
Very good,
Mr. Thomas, is it?
75
00:03:38,509 --> 00:03:40,887
All right, moving on.
76
00:03:43,681 --> 00:03:45,642
How did you know that?
77
00:03:45,683 --> 00:03:48,853
You see, there's a book,
and then there's the street.
78
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:52,273
Now, you've got to know
the book, but the book's
no good without the street.
79
00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:53,483
You know what I mean?
80
00:03:53,524 --> 00:03:56,402
Okay, thanks.
81
00:03:56,444 --> 00:03:59,072
Bed just opened up
on two for mrs. Henderson.
82
00:03:59,113 --> 00:04:01,282
- could you move her up?
- I was just gonna give her
a sponge bath.
83
00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:03,076
That's fine.
Give her a bath,
then move her.
84
00:04:03,117 --> 00:04:05,912
I could use a little
sponge bath myself.
85
00:04:07,288 --> 00:04:09,332
Knock yourself out.
86
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,838
All right, Whitecoats,
moving on.
87
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:19,384
Let's take a look
at what we got here.
88
00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:21,928
Okay. Oh...
89
00:04:23,012 --> 00:04:25,056
At a trauma center
like St. Al's,
90
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,058
where we offer
emergency care,
91
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,852
we seem to spend
a disproportionate
amount of our time
92
00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:32,230
removing things
from people's rectums.
93
00:04:33,314 --> 00:04:34,649
And I'm talking
about everything
94
00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:37,402
from pen-like flashlights
to weird sex toys,
95
00:04:37,443 --> 00:04:38,361
and even live animals.
96
00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:42,907
And most ridiculous of all,
these patients will look
you right in the eye
97
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:46,119
and tell you they have no idea
how the object got there.
98
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:49,539
- Who are all these people?
- They're interns studying
to become doctors.
99
00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:52,417
Okay, let's take a look
at what we got here.
100
00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:55,003
( all laughing )
101
00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:57,297
Stop it!
All right, stop it!
102
00:04:57,338 --> 00:05:00,383
All right? Shame on you
for laughing at me
103
00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:04,345
for accidentally sitting
on a child's toy.
104
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:07,682
Okay, I need recommendations
for removal of the object.
105
00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:11,019
- Lube-J Jelly.
- That's a good way
of getting it in,
106
00:05:11,060 --> 00:05:13,354
but not necessarily a good
way of getting it out.
107
00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:16,524
- Anyone else? Yes.
- Start by getting x-rays
to check the position.
108
00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:18,901
Very good.
X-rays have been taken.
109
00:05:18,943 --> 00:05:20,320
- Let's take a look.
- ( snickering )
110
00:05:20,361 --> 00:05:22,447
Okay, we have
one doll here
111
00:05:22,488 --> 00:05:24,324
lodged in the
sigmoid colon.
112
00:05:24,365 --> 00:05:27,243
Recommendations
for removal-- anybody.
113
00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:29,662
That is not any doll,
that's malibu mindy.
114
00:05:29,704 --> 00:05:31,539
Why don't we shove
a pink corvette up there?
115
00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:33,374
She can drive
herself out.
116
00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:35,376
Olson:
Okay, let's keep
on track here.
117
00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:37,670
Recommendations for removal
of the object. Yes.
118
00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:41,007
Possibly, the doll
can be safely removed
if we inflate the colon.
119
00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:43,343
Wrong-- The colon
is not a closed system.
120
00:05:43,384 --> 00:05:45,345
We'd never get a seal
around the sphincter
121
00:05:45,386 --> 00:05:47,638
with the doll's legs
protruding as they are,
anyone else?
122
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:50,558
We could use some forceps
to push the doll's arms up
over its head,
123
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,894
- and then we could
pull it out.
- No no no no!
124
00:05:52,935 --> 00:05:56,064
- Don't-don't do that.
- I think you got your answer
from the patient there,
125
00:05:56,105 --> 00:05:56,898
Mr. Bonnert.
126
00:05:56,939 --> 00:06:01,194
Don't I have a single doctor
in this group to give me
an answer?
127
00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:03,071
The only way to safely
remove the doll
128
00:06:03,112 --> 00:06:04,530
is to anesthetize
the patient,
129
00:06:04,572 --> 00:06:06,574
lubricate,
insert a clamp,
130
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:08,201
pin the doll's arms
to its side,
131
00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:11,162
slide it out,
then do a sigmoidoscopy
to check for damage.
132
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:13,581
Very good answer,
but unfortunately,
133
00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:15,458
it took too long
to get to it.
134
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:19,045
So I am pleased
to mark you all down
with an F here today.
135
00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:22,882
Okay, we'll have someone
come and take you to O.R.
In about 15 minutes.
136
00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:24,467
- Woman: Dr. Olson?
- Yeah.
137
00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:26,636
The patient's wife
and daughter are here.
138
00:06:26,677 --> 00:06:29,555
Oh god, no!
You can't let them
see me like this!
139
00:06:29,597 --> 00:06:32,183
Tell them he's already
gone up to O.R.
140
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:33,684
You got it.
141
00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:34,936
Moving on.
142
00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,690
( sighs )
143
00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:42,485
Wow, he actually showed
some compassion there.
144
00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:45,321
Hmm, maybe he's not
such a bad guy after all.
145
00:06:45,363 --> 00:06:47,448
He is a bad guy--
we all got F's.
146
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:50,701
Maybe he just has
a soft spot for people who
stick things in their asses.
147
00:06:50,743 --> 00:06:52,995
Yeah, if that's what it takes
to get an a around here,
148
00:06:53,037 --> 00:06:55,373
pass the Lube-J Jelly.
149
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,583
By the way, I really liked
your suggestion
150
00:06:57,625 --> 00:06:59,836
of aggressive use
of petroleum jelly.
151
00:06:59,877 --> 00:07:03,089
I would love
to hear more about
your application technique.
152
00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:05,007
Maybe I should show
you sometime.
153
00:07:05,049 --> 00:07:07,009
Really?
How about Friday night?
154
00:07:07,051 --> 00:07:08,845
How about tonight?
155
00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:12,181
Okay.
156
00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:16,144
Mrs. Kelly, I just
wanted to let you know
157
00:07:16,185 --> 00:07:17,812
that your husband's
in surgery now.
158
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:19,730
Is he gonna be
all right?
159
00:07:21,482 --> 00:07:22,859
Yeah, fine.
160
00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:25,903
Don't worry about your dad,
little girl.
161
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:28,573
- He's just gonna be fine.
- I think she's more upset
162
00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:30,074
because she lost
her favorite doll.
163
00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:34,495
Yeah well,
sometimes these things
never come back.
164
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:36,122
It worked
when it was here.
165
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:39,000
I personally supervised
the removal of that machine
166
00:07:39,041 --> 00:07:40,585
when your guys
picked it up.
167
00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:43,337
So if it's broken,
it happened somewhere
on your end.
168
00:07:43,379 --> 00:07:46,591
Well, you do what you
gotta do, but you're not
getting that money back.
169
00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:48,342
Color those
greenbacks gone.
170
00:07:48,384 --> 00:07:50,761
John, I value
your friendship
171
00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:53,764
and I'm sorry you feel
it has to end over this.
172
00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:57,643
That's your decision.
Anyway, give my regards
to marge.
173
00:07:57,685 --> 00:07:59,479
All right.
174
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:01,272
Stupid bastard.
175
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,733
Broke the M.R.I. machine.
Now he wants his money back.
176
00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:05,693
- The one from D wing?
- Yeah.
177
00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:08,654
I thought you finally sent
that out to get it fixed.
178
00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:11,866
( chuckles )
Caveat emptor--
buyer beware.
179
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:14,660
After overhearing that,
I don't suppose there's
any point at all
180
00:08:14,702 --> 00:08:17,455
in asking where
the x-ray machines
from the third floor are.
181
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,290
Well, you can ask
and I'm happy to tell you.
182
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:21,083
They went
to Moline, Illinois.
183
00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:22,919
I think
they'll be very comfy
in their new lives
184
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:23,669
at the little
Sunnyside clinic.
185
00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:27,548
How the hell are we supposed
to do our jobs around here
186
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,926
with you selling
this hospital off
one wing at a time?
187
00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:32,762
Why don't you do your jobs
with the eight wings
we've got left?
188
00:08:32,803 --> 00:08:35,806
You can thank the people
in Moline, Illinois, for
paying your salary.
189
00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:37,558
You know,
I don't get it.
190
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:40,186
St. Albert pays
the lowest salaries
in the medical system,
191
00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:42,396
the cheapest supplies
and every bed is full.
192
00:08:42,438 --> 00:08:43,314
How could we not
be making money?
193
00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:46,692
Take a look around you.
Hospitals are closing
all over the country.
194
00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:48,486
The healthcare system
is collapsing!
195
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,738
I've got
a Board of Trustees here--
I've got eight of them
196
00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:52,657
that would flip this place
for real estate tomorrow.
197
00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:55,493
I gotta find more things
to sell to make next
month's payroll.
198
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,662
I'm single-handedly keeping
this place alive, Omar.
199
00:08:57,703 --> 00:09:00,498
Well, I guess if I wake up
packed in ice,
200
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:03,626
I'll know
you sold my kidneys
to the indonesians.
201
00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:05,002
You're giving me
an idea.
202
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:07,380
Yo, Mitzi, Mitzi.
203
00:09:07,421 --> 00:09:11,092
What happened to you
last night? I thought
we were gonna go out.
204
00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:13,636
- I had to work.
- What, here at the hospital?
205
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:18,558
Uh, look, I don't
have a lot of time
to answer questions,
206
00:09:18,599 --> 00:09:20,351
so come here.
207
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,603
Woman over P.A.:
Dr. Mike hunt
to ob/gyn.
208
00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:24,689
Dr. Mike Hunt
to ob/gyn.
209
00:09:27,775 --> 00:09:31,195
( moaning )
210
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,620
So can I take you out
for dinner or something?
211
00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:43,791
Mm, I don't have time,
but I hope that's okay.
212
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:45,585
Yeah.
213
00:09:46,877 --> 00:09:49,171
Well, that was
a new record.
214
00:09:49,213 --> 00:09:52,675
Yeah. This place
is awesome!
215
00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:58,598
Mike:
By the beginning
of the second day,
216
00:09:58,639 --> 00:10:00,766
Dale Dodd was
on a first-name basis
217
00:10:00,808 --> 00:10:02,852
with just about
every female in the hospital.
218
00:10:02,893 --> 00:10:04,562
Hello.
219
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,731
But he was
the exception.
220
00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:10,026
Most of us interns were still
getting to know each other.
221
00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:15,990
What are you gonna
specialize in?
222
00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:18,618
Dermatology, I think.
223
00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:20,786
But it's not really
my passion.
224
00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:22,246
What is
your passion then?
225
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:24,665
Well, I just love
cutting people up,
226
00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:27,418
taking them apart
to see how they work--
227
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:30,254
the tissues, the nerves,
the bones.
228
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:34,508
Okay, thank you for sharing
your deepest, darkest
thoughts with us.
229
00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:36,510
- Sure.
- What about you?
230
00:10:36,552 --> 00:10:39,096
I want to be
a cardiac surgeon,
231
00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:42,475
to be able to walk
into a waiting room after
open-heart surgery and say,
232
00:10:42,516 --> 00:10:45,353
"It was tough,
but he's gonna make it."
233
00:10:45,394 --> 00:10:48,022
I can feel that power.
234
00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:49,690
The money's
not bad either.
235
00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:52,193
Well, there is the money.
236
00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:55,279
And that's exactly why
I'm going into dermatology.
237
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:58,115
My parents consider it
bad luck to be poor.
238
00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:02,953
My name is
239
00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:07,875
Dr. Roget Tony Toussant!
240
00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:12,046
But you can
call me Tony.
241
00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:14,131
Now today,
242
00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:17,051
what we are going to
concentrate on
243
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:20,846
is learning how
to identify cell samples.
244
00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:24,183
I think that one of
the best cell samples
245
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:27,520
we can use are
from our own mouths.
246
00:11:27,561 --> 00:11:29,563
Now why do you think
I think that?
247
00:11:29,605 --> 00:11:32,692
Because the hospital
doesn't have any money
for real specimens.
248
00:11:32,733 --> 00:11:35,027
No no, that's wrong.
Who else? Yes.
249
00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:37,988
Because the mouth is
the filthiest place
on the human body.
250
00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:41,784
Exactly!
The mouth is filthy,
251
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:44,704
disgusting cells
and bacteria,
252
00:11:44,745 --> 00:11:49,625
rife with all sorts
of viral bacteria--
253
00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:53,087
whatever.
It's very bad,
but good for us
254
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:56,882
because that is why
we take
255
00:11:56,924 --> 00:11:58,801
from the inside
of the mouth, okay?
256
00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:01,595
What we do now is
we take the swab.
257
00:12:01,637 --> 00:12:03,889
Everyone take one.
Take a swab.
258
00:12:03,931 --> 00:12:06,600
And swab it around
in your mouth.
259
00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:08,436
In your mouth,
right in your mouth.
260
00:12:08,477 --> 00:12:10,771
Your own, yes.
Don't do your friend.
261
00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:12,148
No, you do yourself.
262
00:12:12,189 --> 00:12:15,693
- Okay, now.
- Dr. Toussant?
263
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:18,821
- Tony?
- Yes.
264
00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:20,448
Yes!
265
00:12:20,489 --> 00:12:22,324
I'm having trouble
identifying a cell here.
266
00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:24,785
All right now,
your name is...
267
00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:26,328
Misty-- Misty.
268
00:12:26,370 --> 00:12:28,080
- Mitzi.
- Okay.
269
00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:31,167
Oh, that is very strange.
270
00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:35,379
That is very strange,
indeed.
271
00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:39,133
That is a sperm cell.
272
00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:44,805
Now what would
a sperm cell
273
00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:47,975
be doing
in your mouth?
274
00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:52,062
Uh, I have
the glove on.
275
00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:54,190
Let me see
just to verify.
276
00:12:54,231 --> 00:12:57,276
No, just--
I just want to confirm--
277
00:12:57,318 --> 00:12:59,570
that is very strange.
278
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:00,988
Come look, look.
279
00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:04,992
Everyone, come look
and see the sperm cell
280
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:06,952
inside misty's mouth.
281
00:13:06,994 --> 00:13:08,788
Come, look look,
please.
282
00:13:08,829 --> 00:13:09,955
Yes.
283
00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:12,124
Do you have
any St. John's wort tea?
284
00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:13,834
- Man: No, I'm sorry.
- ( gasps )
285
00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:17,379
Oh my god,
that's Dr. Whiteside,
the cardiac surgeon.
286
00:13:17,421 --> 00:13:19,298
How do I look?
287
00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:22,051
Well, I wouldn't
kick you out of bed
for cutting the cheese.
288
00:13:23,427 --> 00:13:24,762
Wait--
289
00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:29,850
- Dr. Whiteside.
- Yes?
290
00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:33,813
Hi, I'm Mira Towers.
I'm a huge fan of your work.
291
00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:37,024
Well, so am I.
So am I.
292
00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:39,485
Your article in
"The Journal of Medicine"
293
00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:42,029
on the limitations
of the raz procedure
for older patients
294
00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:43,989
requiring a valve
replacement was--
295
00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:45,741
was what?
296
00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:47,868
Way ahead
of its time.
297
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:51,038
Yes, that has always been
one of my shortcomings,
298
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,706
being ahead
of my time.
299
00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:56,001
Well, I just hope
I get the opportunity
to work with you
300
00:13:56,043 --> 00:13:58,045
when I become
a cardiac surgeon.
301
00:13:58,087 --> 00:14:00,589
( laughs )
Yeah yeah, okay.
302
00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:02,800
What's so funny?
303
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:05,761
Well, in the history
of St. Al's,
304
00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:08,722
there's never been
a practicing female
cardiac surgeon,
305
00:14:08,764 --> 00:14:10,891
and with good reason.
306
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:12,142
Well, you keep
plugging away
307
00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:14,019
and maybe you'll
be the one who gets lucky.
308
00:14:14,061 --> 00:14:15,980
If not, you'll probably
be able to marry one.
309
00:14:16,021 --> 00:14:17,857
I mean,
you're a pretty girl.
310
00:14:17,898 --> 00:14:20,818
That is the most disgusting
chauvinistic thing
I've ever heard!
311
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:21,777
Yeah, hold that thought,
would you?
312
00:14:21,777 --> 00:14:25,948
There's a guy down there
I've been trying to make
golf plans with for weeks.
313
00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:29,076
Uh, that'll be
29.72, please.
314
00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:30,870
I'm not hungry!
315
00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:34,999
I wonder if after we've been
doing this awhile
316
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,209
we'll be as mean and jaded
as Dr. Whiteside
317
00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:38,919
and the rest of the doctors
around here.
318
00:14:38,961 --> 00:14:40,629
Whoa, Mira,
sit down, sit down.
319
00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:42,256
- No, I'm fine.
- No no, please, sit down.
320
00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:43,966
You look like
you're upset.
321
00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:46,302
It's the gentlemanly
thing to do. I have
to do it, please.
322
00:14:46,343 --> 00:14:48,762
- Damn Whiteside.
- Who the hell's Whiteside?
323
00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:51,390
He's the dickhead
Mira was talking to in line.
324
00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:53,559
He's also the head
cardiac surgeon.
325
00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:55,978
Yeah, he was mean
to Mira.
326
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:58,147
He was mean to you?
327
00:14:58,188 --> 00:15:00,107
Did he say something
to hurt you?
328
00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:01,859
Did he embarrass you?
329
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,528
Point him out to me,
I'm gonna kick his ass!
Point him out!
330
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,530
He's right there,
Marlon.
331
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:08,949
I'm gonna go
kick his ass.
332
00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:10,534
No no,
you can't do that.
333
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:11,994
Yes, I can
and I will!
334
00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:14,079
I gotta do it.
335
00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:19,543
- Dr. Denton Whiteside?
- Yes.
336
00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:22,963
( loudly )
You think you could
push people around?
337
00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:25,633
( quietly )
Well, you can.
338
00:15:25,674 --> 00:15:27,927
( loudly )
You think you're
some sort of hotshot?
339
00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:30,971
( quietly )
Well, you are.
340
00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:34,099
Do you understand me?
I just want everyone
to know that.
341
00:15:34,141 --> 00:15:36,060
You're the best.
342
00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:38,020
Maybe you should
go sit down.
343
00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:40,230
Yeah.
344
00:15:41,398 --> 00:15:43,400
Don't you forget
what I said, man.
345
00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:49,114
Gee, Marlon,
I'm really impressed.
346
00:15:49,156 --> 00:15:51,617
That was really sweet of you
to stick up for me like that.
347
00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:54,078
Yeah, it was.
When someone messes
with one of my bitches,
348
00:15:54,119 --> 00:15:56,163
that's what happens--
ass gets kicked!
349
00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:58,582
I wouldn't mind being
one of your bitches.
350
00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:00,376
Mike, you're
everybody's bitch.
351
00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:08,092
Hi.
352
00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:12,096
Okay, so the results
of your pregnancy test
came back positive.
353
00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:15,849
Are you sure that you're
not sexually active?
354
00:16:15,891 --> 00:16:19,103
- Sexually active?
- Yeah.
355
00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:21,063
No, sir,
I just lie there.
356
00:16:21,105 --> 00:16:25,025
Well, do you know
who the father is?
357
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:27,569
No, who?
358
00:16:27,611 --> 00:16:29,196
Uh...
359
00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:31,281
Dale?
360
00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:33,200
Aren't you supposed
to be assisting in
surgery right now?
361
00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:35,077
Shit!
362
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,126
Okay, little
pregnant girl.
363
00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:45,713
Ah...
Let's have a chat.
364
00:16:45,754 --> 00:16:48,215
Okay, let's get
sternal wire and driver.
365
00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:51,844
( monitor beeping )
366
00:16:51,885 --> 00:16:53,804
There's an arrhythmia
on his e.k.g.
367
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:56,598
That's within normal range.
I'm gonna need some help here.
368
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:57,975
Oh, I can wire
a sternum.
369
00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:59,727
No, I'll wire
the sternum.
370
00:16:59,768 --> 00:17:00,519
Mr. Bonnert,
perhaps you can help me?
371
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:04,023
- Yeah, what do you
want me to do?
- Hold this, please.
372
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,945
Dr. Whiteside,
you should really
look at his e.k.g.
373
00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:12,239
Oh, would you shut up?
374
00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:15,159
You know, I've done over
1,000 valve replacements.
375
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:17,202
I really
don't need an intern
telling me what to do.
376
00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:19,246
- Will you hold that
a little tighter, please?
- Sure.
377
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:21,582
Okay, not so tight!
378
00:17:21,623 --> 00:17:23,542
Okay, that's good.
379
00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:26,211
All right.
Now then, I'm gonna
need some clippers.
380
00:17:26,253 --> 00:17:28,881
- Perhaps you can get those.
- e.k.g. Is v-fib.
381
00:17:28,922 --> 00:17:31,091
- That's not possible.
- Cardiac arrest.
382
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,927
Son of a bitch!
All right, we're gonna
have to open him up.
383
00:17:33,969 --> 00:17:36,472
Zap him!
Defibrillator!
Spreaders!
384
00:17:43,270 --> 00:17:45,189
Xylocaine now.
385
00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:47,775
- Where is the defibrillator?
- It's coming, sir.
386
00:17:47,816 --> 00:17:49,860
I need it now!
387
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,612
- All right.
- ( grunts )
388
00:17:51,653 --> 00:17:53,030
All right,
now clear.
389
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:55,074
- Hit it!
- ( electricity zapping )
390
00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:57,618
Take it up to 20
and hit it!
391
00:17:57,659 --> 00:17:59,286
25-- hit it!
392
00:18:00,245 --> 00:18:01,997
30-- Hit it!
393
00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:05,000
- No response.
- Have you tried
dopamine and adrenaline?
394
00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:06,960
I've given him
everything I can.
395
00:18:07,002 --> 00:18:09,671
All right, you're not
gonna die on me yet,
you son of a bitch.
396
00:18:09,713 --> 00:18:11,673
- All right, hit it!
- ( pounding )
397
00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:14,968
Hit it! Hit it!
398
00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:17,137
Dr. Whiteside,
he's gone.
399
00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:20,557
You don't decide
if he's gone!
400
00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:25,145
Nor you or you or you,
you son of a bitch!
401
00:18:27,981 --> 00:18:30,109
( instruments clatter )
402
00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:32,694
What happened?
You replaced the valve.
You connected him back up.
403
00:18:32,736 --> 00:18:35,239
It's statistics,
Mr. Bonnert.
404
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:37,950
The stats in this procedure
are one in 100.
405
00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:41,286
I tend to do
a little better than that--
about one in 500.
406
00:18:41,328 --> 00:18:44,748
But unfortunately
for this poor bastard,
today his number came up.
407
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:46,625
Yeah, but isn't there
anything that we can do?
408
00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:51,338
Yes, you can go
down to the waiting room
and tell the family.
409
00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:52,047
- What?
- Mm-hmm.
410
00:18:52,047 --> 00:18:55,884
No, are you kidding?
He's not even my patient, sir.
411
00:18:55,926 --> 00:18:58,720
You assisted in this operation.
That makes him your patient.
412
00:18:58,762 --> 00:19:01,431
I think this would be good
practice for you, Mr. Bonnert.
413
00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:05,060
Hi.
414
00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:07,437
Are you the intern
that was supposed
to be assisting today?
415
00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:09,439
- Yeah. See, what happened--
- What's your name?
416
00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:11,358
What is your name?
I want your name.
417
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,527
- Dale--
- Your full name. I'm not
asking you out on a date.
418
00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:15,154
- I wanna know your name.
- It's Dale...
419
00:19:15,195 --> 00:19:16,238
- Dale...
- ...Dodd.
420
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,157
- Dale Dodd!
- Yeah.
421
00:19:18,198 --> 00:19:21,618
Well, Dale Dodd,
you have earned the right
to clean up around here.
422
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:24,997
So why don't you sew
him up and get him ready
for the morgue?
423
00:19:25,038 --> 00:19:28,375
And, Mr. Bonnert,
what are you still
doing here?
424
00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:30,210
Shouldn't you be
down in the waiting room
425
00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:31,879
giving the family
the good news?
426
00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:35,382
Right.
427
00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:01,325
Shit!
428
00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:02,868
No no no.
429
00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:08,207
Where did you go,
you son of a bitch?
430
00:20:08,248 --> 00:20:10,000
Oh no.
431
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:13,420
Where are you,
you little suction cup?
432
00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:16,215
Don't do this to me,
not today.
433
00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:20,052
Bitch, where are you?
434
00:20:20,093 --> 00:20:22,137
- Oh fuck!
- ( monitor beeping )
435
00:20:26,558 --> 00:20:28,185
- What's going on?
- Nothing.
436
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:29,061
He's got a heartbeat.
What did you do?
437
00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:33,315
- I didn't do anything--
- You must have done something.
He was dead.
438
00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:38,362
Well, maybe I willed him
back to life.
439
00:20:39,863 --> 00:20:41,490
- What happened?
- He did it.
440
00:20:41,531 --> 00:20:43,575
- Did what?
- I brought him
back to life.
441
00:20:43,617 --> 00:20:45,118
I dropped this thing
in here,
442
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,787
and his heart started.
It was awesome!
443
00:20:46,828 --> 00:20:49,873
Who the hell are you
to play God with my patient?
444
00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:51,458
What do you want to do?
445
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,335
Someone's gonna
have to get down there
446
00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:55,337
and stop that squirrely kid
from telling the family.
447
00:20:55,379 --> 00:20:59,258
That'll be you. Go.
Go go go! Go.
448
00:21:00,467 --> 00:21:01,134
Are you gonna
close him up?
449
00:21:01,176 --> 00:21:04,429
No, I think we'd better
monitor him for a little while.
450
00:21:04,471 --> 00:21:08,600
You know, I'm part
of a foursome that's
teeing off in about an hour.
451
00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:13,438
But I guess that
doesn't matter to you,
does it, Lazarus, huh?
452
00:21:14,648 --> 00:21:17,567
( melancholy music
playing )
453
00:21:35,711 --> 00:21:37,879
I'm sorry, folks.
454
00:21:37,921 --> 00:21:40,340
He didn't make it.
455
00:21:40,382 --> 00:21:41,800
Woman:
No! No!
456
00:21:42,759 --> 00:21:45,387
It's okay,
it's okay.
457
00:21:47,180 --> 00:21:49,683
No... No.
458
00:21:50,934 --> 00:21:53,687
- ( tapping )
- ( music stops )
459
00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:03,238
I'll be right back.
460
00:22:11,538 --> 00:22:13,832
( silent )
461
00:22:20,297 --> 00:22:23,467
( music resumes )
462
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:37,564
Sorry, folks.
I got the wrong family.
463
00:22:40,609 --> 00:22:42,736
( crying )
464
00:22:47,657 --> 00:22:49,493
( music stops )
465
00:22:52,120 --> 00:22:53,413
I'll be right back.
466
00:23:20,023 --> 00:23:23,151
( music resumes )
467
00:23:31,243 --> 00:23:33,370
I'm sorry, folks.
468
00:23:33,412 --> 00:23:34,454
Oh no.
469
00:23:38,500 --> 00:23:41,253
- Mike, stop talking.
- Dale, it's okay.
470
00:23:41,294 --> 00:23:43,422
I've got the right family
this time. I'm sorry,
folks, he's dead.
471
00:23:43,463 --> 00:23:46,508
- No, he's alive.
- Do not make their pain
any worse.
472
00:23:46,550 --> 00:23:48,343
I saw his heart stop
with my own two eyes.
473
00:23:48,385 --> 00:23:50,429
Yeah, but then
it started again.
I dropped this thing
474
00:23:50,470 --> 00:23:52,722
in his chest and then
the heart started beating.
It was awesome.
475
00:23:52,764 --> 00:23:55,517
- What?
- We wanna listen
to this guy.
476
00:23:55,559 --> 00:23:57,602
Ahem, excuse me,
gentlemen.
477
00:23:57,644 --> 00:24:01,648
Hello, I'm Dr. Whiteside,
the head of cardiology.
478
00:24:01,690 --> 00:24:03,817
And I just want
to let you know that...
479
00:24:03,859 --> 00:24:06,278
Roger is
going to be fine.
480
00:24:06,319 --> 00:24:09,614
We expect
a full recovery.
481
00:24:09,656 --> 00:24:12,451
And my office will call
to schedule with follow-up.
482
00:24:22,794 --> 00:24:26,298
You son of a bitch!
You got no right to be
working in a hospital.
483
00:24:26,339 --> 00:24:29,551
You got a sick sick
sense of humor.
484
00:24:29,593 --> 00:24:32,053
- ( clangs )
- I hope you burn
in hell, buddy!
485
00:24:33,555 --> 00:24:35,807
I'm gonna try to validate
everyone's parking.
486
00:24:35,849 --> 00:24:37,726
- Woman: You asshole!
- Oh.
487
00:24:39,686 --> 00:24:41,605
Mike:
By the second month
488
00:24:41,646 --> 00:24:44,774
the teaching structure
at St. Al's really started
to fall apart.
489
00:24:44,816 --> 00:24:47,736
Woman over P.A.:
Dr. Dick to f33,
Dr. Harry Dick.
490
00:24:47,777 --> 00:24:49,988
Cynthia:
Okay, listen up, kids.
491
00:24:50,030 --> 00:24:52,282
Dr. Walters was supposed
to take you around today,
492
00:24:52,324 --> 00:24:54,618
but he's out dealing
with some tax difficulties.
493
00:24:54,659 --> 00:24:57,287
So I have
your assignments.
494
00:24:57,329 --> 00:24:59,080
We're gonna put you
in groups of two here:
495
00:24:59,122 --> 00:25:01,541
Towers and Lee,
you're gonna go
to orthopedics;
496
00:25:01,583 --> 00:25:04,336
Bonnert and Cole,
obstetrics;
497
00:25:04,377 --> 00:25:06,463
Radford and Thomas,
pediatrics;
498
00:25:06,505 --> 00:25:09,508
Dodd and Madden,
report to E.R.
499
00:25:09,549 --> 00:25:11,801
So where do we meet
our supervising doctors?
500
00:25:11,843 --> 00:25:14,471
We have a little problem
with that today in that
there aren't any.
501
00:25:14,513 --> 00:25:16,223
- There aren't any?
- No.
502
00:25:16,264 --> 00:25:18,725
No, we're a little
short-staffed today,
503
00:25:18,767 --> 00:25:19,976
so you're on your own.
504
00:25:20,018 --> 00:25:21,686
How the hell are we
supposed to graduate
505
00:25:21,728 --> 00:25:23,563
if there's no one here
to monitor how we're doing?
506
00:25:23,605 --> 00:25:26,483
Why don't you pretend
you've already graduated?
507
00:25:26,525 --> 00:25:29,361
Just go out there
and assist those patients
as best you can.
508
00:25:29,402 --> 00:25:31,571
Oh, and remember,
you're on the honor system,
509
00:25:31,613 --> 00:25:33,782
grade yourselves fairly.
510
00:25:36,535 --> 00:25:39,788
So, Christine,
do you still think this is
a fine teaching hospital?
511
00:25:39,829 --> 00:25:42,207
Well, I think if we're honest
with the honor system,
512
00:25:42,249 --> 00:25:45,168
then we should
all be able to benefit
from independent study.
513
00:25:45,210 --> 00:25:46,753
This is total bullshit.
We've gone from
514
00:25:46,795 --> 00:25:48,797
the hardest teacher ever
to not having one at all.
515
00:25:48,838 --> 00:25:51,591
Hey, aren't you
supposed to be going down
to pediatrics on two?
516
00:25:51,633 --> 00:25:54,010
- I'm going to
get some coffee.
- Oh, good idea.
517
00:25:54,052 --> 00:25:56,596
- I need some coffee too.
- Yeah, me too.
518
00:25:56,638 --> 00:25:58,265
What about
the honor system?
519
00:25:58,306 --> 00:26:00,767
Without coffee,
there is no honor.
520
00:26:03,186 --> 00:26:05,564
Why don't you make
arrangements for the body?
521
00:26:05,605 --> 00:26:08,567
Thanks.
Oh no.
522
00:26:10,235 --> 00:26:11,778
Hey, what's going on?
523
00:26:11,820 --> 00:26:14,322
We lost another patient
in 205.
524
00:26:14,364 --> 00:26:15,031
Another one, huh?
525
00:26:15,073 --> 00:26:18,034
Yeah, it's the fourth patient
we've lost this month.
526
00:26:18,076 --> 00:26:21,288
This is intensive care.
People do die in
intensive care.
527
00:26:21,329 --> 00:26:24,624
In the same bed
four Fridays in a row?
528
00:26:24,666 --> 00:26:26,543
Well, that is
a little creepy.
529
00:26:28,420 --> 00:26:30,589
Some of the girls think
this bed's haunted.
530
00:26:30,630 --> 00:26:32,173
Oh, really?
531
00:26:32,215 --> 00:26:33,883
Did anybody check
the air conditioning
532
00:26:33,925 --> 00:26:36,219
or respirator hoses
for bacterial infection?
533
00:26:36,261 --> 00:26:40,015
Yes, we had infection control
and maintenance in here
all last week
534
00:26:40,056 --> 00:26:41,683
and they came up
with nothing.
535
00:26:41,725 --> 00:26:42,934
Then I guess
it must be haunted.
536
00:26:42,976 --> 00:26:44,728
Are you making
fun of me?
537
00:26:44,769 --> 00:26:47,606
No, I'm making fun
of the girls who think
it's haunted.
538
00:26:47,647 --> 00:26:50,442
- I know you're
not one of them.
- What makes you think that?
539
00:26:50,483 --> 00:26:52,611
You're way too smart to think
there's no explanation
540
00:26:52,652 --> 00:26:54,821
somewhere between maintenance
and the paranormal.
541
00:26:54,863 --> 00:26:57,866
You're right.
I don't think it's haunted,
but I do think it's weird.
542
00:26:57,907 --> 00:27:01,745
I think we should
go for a coffee and talk
about it some more.
543
00:27:03,580 --> 00:27:05,790
That's not why
you want to have coffee.
544
00:27:05,832 --> 00:27:07,917
And besides,
I'm making beds right now.
545
00:27:07,959 --> 00:27:09,419
Well, I'll help you
make beds.
546
00:27:09,461 --> 00:27:12,505
Did they teach you how
to make beds in medical school?
547
00:27:13,673 --> 00:27:16,092
No, but I'm here
to learn.
548
00:27:17,594 --> 00:27:19,054
I hope you're not
too disappointed
549
00:27:19,095 --> 00:27:21,389
- In being assigned with me.
- Why?
550
00:27:21,431 --> 00:27:24,434
Because I'm getting
a reputation of being
a complete screw up.
551
00:27:24,476 --> 00:27:27,103
I told the wrong people
that their family members
are dead.
552
00:27:27,145 --> 00:27:29,898
Well, I think
you're kinda cute.
553
00:27:29,939 --> 00:27:33,193
Besides, I've developed
quite a reputation myself.
554
00:27:33,234 --> 00:27:36,738
You mean that whole sperm-
in-your-mouth in lab class?
555
00:27:36,780 --> 00:27:38,782
No, I mean, who hasn't had
sperm in their mouth--
556
00:27:38,823 --> 00:27:41,951
Are you the interns?
You were supposed to be here
half an hour ago.
557
00:27:41,993 --> 00:27:44,788
Nobody told us when to come.
They just told us
where to come.
558
00:27:44,829 --> 00:27:45,789
Whatever. We've got
a 40-year-old woman.
559
00:27:45,789 --> 00:27:49,292
She's never had a child before.
Her contractions are a couple
of minutes apart
560
00:27:49,334 --> 00:27:51,169
and she was fully dilated
the last time we checked.
561
00:27:51,211 --> 00:27:53,546
Great, well,
you keep us posted.
562
00:27:53,588 --> 00:27:55,715
No no no,
you don't understand.
563
00:27:55,757 --> 00:27:57,842
You're going to be delivering
that baby right away.
564
00:27:57,884 --> 00:27:59,886
- What?
- Don't tell them
you're interns.
565
00:27:59,928 --> 00:28:03,264
- I already told her
you're doctors.
- Wh--
566
00:28:05,392 --> 00:28:06,768
( moaning )
It hurts!
567
00:28:06,810 --> 00:28:08,603
Good, they're here.
568
00:28:08,645 --> 00:28:10,814
I'd like you to meet
Dr. Bonnert and Dr. Cole.
569
00:28:10,855 --> 00:28:12,774
- They're going to be
delivering your baby.
- Hi.
570
00:28:12,816 --> 00:28:15,777
- You're a doctor?
- Actually, I'm not a doctor.
571
00:28:15,819 --> 00:28:18,071
- I'm just an intern.
- Oh, jesus.
572
00:28:18,113 --> 00:28:21,241
I am Dr. Mitzi Cole.
Mr. Bonnert is my intern,
573
00:28:21,282 --> 00:28:24,369
and he'll be
assisting me today.
574
00:28:24,411 --> 00:28:26,996
- Woman: Oh god!
- I'm gonna keep an eye
on your blood pressure.
575
00:28:27,038 --> 00:28:31,126
And, Mike,
why don't you check and see
how far dilated she is?
576
00:28:31,167 --> 00:28:35,004
- The nurse just said
she was completely dilated.
- It won't hurt to check.
577
00:28:36,631 --> 00:28:39,467
Woman:
Ooh, it's starting again!
578
00:28:46,474 --> 00:28:48,226
So are you
a hockey fan?
579
00:28:48,268 --> 00:28:51,479
- No, not really.
- Kind of a baseball?
580
00:28:51,521 --> 00:28:54,941
- I'm not really
into sports.
- Okay.
581
00:28:54,983 --> 00:28:57,777
I'm just gonna measure
your wife's cervix here.
582
00:28:57,819 --> 00:28:59,237
What?
583
00:29:00,864 --> 00:29:02,907
I'm gonna stick my hand
into your wife's vagina,
584
00:29:02,949 --> 00:29:06,327
and we're gonna see
how wide her opening is.
585
00:29:06,369 --> 00:29:07,787
You're gonna what?
586
00:29:07,829 --> 00:29:10,373
Ma'am, this is
gonna be cold.
587
00:29:11,666 --> 00:29:13,918
( squeals )
588
00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:17,297
Okay, I don't think
that's the right spot.
589
00:29:17,338 --> 00:29:19,215
( grunts )
590
00:29:19,257 --> 00:29:20,800
So what's the deal
with Africa?
591
00:29:20,842 --> 00:29:22,260
Why do you want
to go there?
592
00:29:22,302 --> 00:29:24,721
Well, actually,
593
00:29:24,763 --> 00:29:27,140
Africa is just
my first stop.
594
00:29:27,182 --> 00:29:29,934
I wanna use my nursing skills
to see the whole world;
595
00:29:29,976 --> 00:29:32,270
you know, take
a job at a clinic here
and a hospital there
596
00:29:32,312 --> 00:29:34,314
and work my way
from continent to continent.
597
00:29:34,355 --> 00:29:36,858
That's what I was gonna do.
Do you wanna go together?
598
00:29:36,900 --> 00:29:38,777
Come on,
599
00:29:38,818 --> 00:29:40,862
don't you have
some dreams?
600
00:29:40,904 --> 00:29:42,530
What dreams?
601
00:29:42,572 --> 00:29:44,908
Well, okay,
602
00:29:44,949 --> 00:29:46,951
I bet you've probably
wanted to be a doctor
603
00:29:46,993 --> 00:29:48,828
ever since you were
a little kid, right?
604
00:29:48,870 --> 00:29:50,997
No no no, I wanted to be
a pro wrestler.
605
00:29:51,039 --> 00:29:52,999
When I found out it was rigged
I cried for days.
606
00:29:53,041 --> 00:29:56,211
That is the stupidest thing
I've ever heard,
607
00:29:56,252 --> 00:29:57,962
and almost believable.
608
00:29:58,004 --> 00:30:00,882
Why did you decide
to become a doctor?
609
00:30:00,924 --> 00:30:02,550
To meet women.
610
00:30:02,592 --> 00:30:05,762
You spent four years
in medical school just
to meet women?
611
00:30:05,804 --> 00:30:08,473
It worked, didn't it?
I'm standing here with you.
612
00:30:08,515 --> 00:30:11,643
You're cute, Dale.
But I'm not going out
with you.
613
00:30:11,684 --> 00:30:12,894
Are you afraid of me?
614
00:30:14,896 --> 00:30:16,981
Well...
615
00:30:19,359 --> 00:30:21,986
Okay, we can go
on one date.
616
00:30:22,028 --> 00:30:23,905
One's all I need.
617
00:30:23,947 --> 00:30:25,824
If...
618
00:30:25,865 --> 00:30:29,869
If it happens
here in the hospital
when we're both working.
619
00:30:29,911 --> 00:30:31,996
What does that mean?
620
00:30:33,289 --> 00:30:35,875
You figure it out.
621
00:30:35,917 --> 00:30:37,919
I think I see it.
622
00:30:37,961 --> 00:30:39,879
Man:
Hey, what's she
doing in here?
623
00:30:39,921 --> 00:30:42,006
Nurse:
Mr. Younger,
this is Dr. Bonnert.
624
00:30:42,048 --> 00:30:43,508
- Hello.
- Mom?
625
00:30:43,550 --> 00:30:45,510
Pay no attention to me,
honey, I'm not here.
626
00:30:45,552 --> 00:30:48,888
- You brought your mom
to my kid's birth?
- No, I didn't.
627
00:30:48,930 --> 00:30:49,597
We paid extra
for the private room.
628
00:30:49,597 --> 00:30:50,682
I don't want people
just wandering
in and out.
629
00:30:50,723 --> 00:30:55,270
Don't worry, Mr. Younger.
Dr. Bonnert is one of the best
gynecologists in the country.
630
00:30:55,311 --> 00:30:59,065
- Then why isn't she
delivering my kid?
- Oh no, I'm not here.
631
00:30:59,107 --> 00:31:00,984
You're here.
I see you,
632
00:31:01,025 --> 00:31:02,694
so get in there
and do your job.
633
00:31:02,735 --> 00:31:05,071
Mitzi:
Mr. Bonnert and I
are perfectly capable
634
00:31:05,113 --> 00:31:07,156
of handling this birth
without any help.
Right, Mike?
635
00:31:07,198 --> 00:31:10,368
- Huh?
- How many babies
have you delivered?
636
00:31:10,410 --> 00:31:12,954
- Over 1,000.
- And you?
637
00:31:12,996 --> 00:31:17,000
Including this one?
One.
638
00:31:17,041 --> 00:31:19,669
Wait, I've got a type II dip
that's not coming back up.
639
00:31:19,711 --> 00:31:22,171
The baby's umbilical chord
must be wrapped around the neck.
640
00:31:22,213 --> 00:31:25,049
- Let's--
- Okay, I'll take it
from here, thanks.
641
00:31:26,259 --> 00:31:29,095
I need a pair
of episiotomy scissors
and a pudendal block.
642
00:31:29,137 --> 00:31:33,308
Get an anesthesiologist.
We may need to do an
emergency cesarean.
643
00:31:33,349 --> 00:31:36,769
- ( baby crying )
- Michael?
644
00:31:36,811 --> 00:31:38,521
Michael, come back here!
645
00:31:38,563 --> 00:31:40,231
Why did you
come here today?
646
00:31:40,273 --> 00:31:42,442
I came to see my son,
and you're lucky I was there.
647
00:31:42,483 --> 00:31:44,110
I mean, would you have
known what to do?
648
00:31:44,152 --> 00:31:46,112
Yeah, I did know
what to do.
649
00:31:46,154 --> 00:31:47,530
Then you pushed me
out of the way.
650
00:31:47,572 --> 00:31:49,115
How am I even supposed
to become anything
651
00:31:49,157 --> 00:31:50,992
if you won't let me out
from underneath your thumb?
652
00:31:51,034 --> 00:31:53,077
I saved that baby's life,
Michael.
653
00:31:53,119 --> 00:31:53,786
Help me out here,
okay?
654
00:31:53,786 --> 00:31:56,915
Did I miss parents' day
on the internship calendar?
655
00:31:56,956 --> 00:31:58,917
Is Tuesday the day
that interns have their moms
656
00:31:58,958 --> 00:32:00,418
come and perform procedures
for them?
657
00:32:00,460 --> 00:32:03,004
I don't have to take
that kind of shit from you!
658
00:32:03,046 --> 00:32:06,341
You didn't have good enough
grades to get into a veterinary
clinic in Tijuana!
659
00:32:06,382 --> 00:32:10,136
Your father and I
got you into this hospital
and don't you ever forget it!
660
00:32:12,263 --> 00:32:14,182
I'm sorry.
661
00:32:15,350 --> 00:32:18,728
- Okay, I'm sorry.
- Okay.
662
00:32:18,770 --> 00:32:20,063
No more fighting.
663
00:32:21,397 --> 00:32:24,108
Come on, give mommy
huggy-boos.
664
00:32:25,193 --> 00:32:27,028
Come on,
huggy-boos!
665
00:32:29,614 --> 00:32:33,076
- Sw, isn't that sweet?
- The world needs more hugs.
666
00:32:36,245 --> 00:32:39,916
Mike:
Nights at St. Al's could be
long and bizarre.
667
00:32:39,958 --> 00:32:42,460
Even though Dr. Kipp
rarely left the hospital,
668
00:32:42,502 --> 00:32:45,755
he seemed more interested
in banging his autoclaves,
669
00:32:45,797 --> 00:32:49,050
banging back beer,
selling off hospital equipment
670
00:32:49,092 --> 00:32:52,011
and chasing nurses.
671
00:32:52,053 --> 00:32:54,055
Taking care of the patients
was left to us interns.
672
00:32:54,097 --> 00:32:56,057
I saw a trustee
in the building.
673
00:32:56,099 --> 00:32:59,143
- I've gotta get
these units out of here.
- Take it to the usual place?
674
00:32:59,185 --> 00:33:02,021
No, he's been
ripping me off for storage.
Take it to dominick's.
675
00:33:02,063 --> 00:33:03,272
Consider it done, doc.
676
00:33:03,314 --> 00:33:05,108
- Hi, Cindy.
- Hi, Dr. Kipp.
677
00:33:05,149 --> 00:33:06,609
Move move move.
678
00:33:10,113 --> 00:33:11,781
Cindy, wait up.
679
00:33:14,742 --> 00:33:17,203
We've got a patient
losing a lot of blood.
680
00:33:17,245 --> 00:33:19,664
I'm here, I'm here.
What do you got?
681
00:33:19,706 --> 00:33:22,041
I think she's got a laceration
in the brachial artery.
682
00:33:22,083 --> 00:33:23,501
All right,
let me have a look.
683
00:33:23,543 --> 00:33:25,169
Okay, guys,
let's bring her in here.
684
00:33:25,211 --> 00:33:27,088
Oh, shit!
Hey, doc!
685
00:33:27,130 --> 00:33:30,508
Oh my god.
Cynthia, get me
a suture tray.
686
00:33:30,550 --> 00:33:33,261
Crosspatch her
and get her stabilized
right away. Quick!
687
00:33:33,302 --> 00:33:36,180
Okay, guys, I'm gonna
need you to help me.
Get some gloves on, please.
688
00:33:36,222 --> 00:33:38,891
Quick quick quick!
Let's get moving!
689
00:33:38,933 --> 00:33:40,768
Okay, what was her b.p.
On the way here?
690
00:33:40,810 --> 00:33:43,438
- It was 70/50.
- How much blood
do you think she's lost?
691
00:33:43,479 --> 00:33:46,983
- At least 1500cc.
- We better hurry up on
that crosspatch, quick.
692
00:33:47,025 --> 00:33:48,985
Give me my tools.
And I need some sponges.
693
00:33:49,027 --> 00:33:51,988
- Where the hell
are my sutures?
- Right here, right here.
694
00:33:52,030 --> 00:33:54,407
Good, suture.
Okay, more,
more sponge, please.
695
00:33:54,449 --> 00:33:56,159
- How's that?
- Thank you, good.
696
00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:58,036
- I need to see
what I'm doing.
- Got the loops.
697
00:33:58,077 --> 00:34:01,748
- No, I don't need them.
- How can you see without
magnification?
698
00:34:01,789 --> 00:34:03,791
I don't need them.
I can see just fine.
699
00:34:03,833 --> 00:34:05,251
Little bit more.
Hold it.
700
00:34:05,293 --> 00:34:06,753
Okay, a little bit more.
701
00:34:06,794 --> 00:34:08,629
Jesus Christ,
that was amazing.
702
00:34:08,671 --> 00:34:10,298
I've never seen
anything like that.
703
00:34:10,339 --> 00:34:12,967
Get her on some ancef.
704
00:34:13,009 --> 00:34:16,137
Well, you're a little
testy, but you got the job
done, Dr. Lee.
705
00:34:26,189 --> 00:34:27,982
Oh hey, guys, guys.
706
00:34:28,024 --> 00:34:30,526
Can you do me a favor
and take this guy
over to general?
707
00:34:30,568 --> 00:34:32,737
- He's dead.
- Yeah.
708
00:34:32,779 --> 00:34:34,197
He's been dead
for a while.
709
00:34:34,238 --> 00:34:37,116
Yeah, my buddy from General
sent him over here.
710
00:34:37,158 --> 00:34:39,077
I sent him back,
then he sent him
back over here.
711
00:34:39,118 --> 00:34:41,079
It's been going on
for a couple of days.
712
00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:42,914
So you guys think it's funny
to send a dead body
713
00:34:42,955 --> 00:34:44,916
back and forth
from hospital to hospital?
714
00:34:44,957 --> 00:34:47,168
Yeah.
That's the whole point.
715
00:34:47,210 --> 00:34:49,295
Yeah sure, okay.
716
00:34:49,337 --> 00:34:50,797
- Thanks.
- No problem.
717
00:34:57,136 --> 00:34:59,180
Uh... Ahem.
718
00:35:00,515 --> 00:35:03,768
So, Gail, I got your workup
back from the lab.
719
00:35:06,145 --> 00:35:07,855
Is this your husband?
720
00:35:07,897 --> 00:35:11,109
No, we just met
in the waiting room
a few minutes ago,
721
00:35:11,150 --> 00:35:14,278
but who knows?
Maybe one day I'll
be her husband.
722
00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:17,115
Oh, you're so sweet!
723
00:35:19,492 --> 00:35:22,995
Well, see, I've got
some medical information
to discuss with Gail,
724
00:35:23,037 --> 00:35:24,956
so if you could, um...
725
00:35:24,997 --> 00:35:28,376
Oh, can't he stay?
726
00:35:28,417 --> 00:35:30,962
I think this is something
you might want to
hear in private.
727
00:35:31,003 --> 00:35:33,965
Hey, you know,
whatever it is...
728
00:35:34,006 --> 00:35:36,300
I think we should
hear it together.
729
00:35:36,342 --> 00:35:38,928
You're so sweet!
730
00:35:38,970 --> 00:35:42,807
So, the deal is
you have herpes iII,
731
00:35:42,849 --> 00:35:46,352
some genital warts
and a touch of chlamydia.
732
00:35:47,562 --> 00:35:49,689
Oh. Okay...
733
00:35:49,730 --> 00:35:52,358
Uh, well, I was with my mom
in the waiting room.
734
00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:55,236
She was having a cast
put on her leg.
735
00:35:55,278 --> 00:35:57,280
So I should probably
go check on her.
736
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:03,411
Sorry.
737
00:36:08,291 --> 00:36:10,960
I just need a hug,
doctor.
738
00:36:11,002 --> 00:36:13,004
I just need a hug.
739
00:36:13,045 --> 00:36:16,382
I'm gonna get a nurse.
Stay in this room.
740
00:36:20,136 --> 00:36:20,845
- Doc?
- Yeah?
741
00:36:20,887 --> 00:36:23,931
You've gotta help me
change my shit bag.
It's stuck.
742
00:36:23,973 --> 00:36:25,474
Okay.
743
00:36:25,516 --> 00:36:28,686
Let me just have
a little look here, okay?
744
00:36:28,728 --> 00:36:32,273
All we gotta do
is just...
745
00:36:32,315 --> 00:36:34,317
Pull the tabs.
746
00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:38,362
I need
a little help here.
747
00:36:38,404 --> 00:36:40,406
I had a small accident.
748
00:36:42,325 --> 00:36:45,077
- Dale.
- That's nice work,
buddy.
749
00:36:45,119 --> 00:36:47,538
- Can you help me out?
- No.
750
00:36:51,417 --> 00:36:53,169
Need a little help.
751
00:36:53,211 --> 00:36:55,129
I've been shit on.
752
00:36:56,672 --> 00:36:58,716
This is not my shit.
Someone shit on me.
753
00:36:58,758 --> 00:37:01,093
It's mexican food.
754
00:37:01,135 --> 00:37:04,889
It's very spicy.
It's very spicy on my eyes.
I'll be right back.
755
00:37:04,931 --> 00:37:07,516
What's with the cooler
and the camera?
756
00:37:07,558 --> 00:37:10,061
Well, it's a surprise.
You'll find out soon enough.
757
00:37:10,102 --> 00:37:13,272
- Come on.
- You set the rules.
758
00:37:13,314 --> 00:37:15,775
You said the date
had to happen in the hospital
759
00:37:15,816 --> 00:37:18,903
while we were both working.
I've satisfied both
requirements.
760
00:37:18,945 --> 00:37:20,446
That's all you need to know.
761
00:37:21,989 --> 00:37:23,824
Oh good,
there's a bed over here.
762
00:37:23,866 --> 00:37:25,868
We can set up
right across from him.
763
00:37:25,910 --> 00:37:29,205
- Set up for what?
- It's Friday night.
764
00:37:29,247 --> 00:37:31,666
Intensive care,
bed 205.
765
00:37:31,707 --> 00:37:33,668
We're gonna catch
a ghost.
766
00:37:33,709 --> 00:37:37,004
We can set up
the equipment here...
767
00:37:39,257 --> 00:37:41,801
Pull this curtain
and it'll make for
a nice headquarters.
768
00:37:41,842 --> 00:37:44,178
Good plan.
If it is a ghost,
769
00:37:44,220 --> 00:37:46,389
they'll never
think to look for us
behind a curtain.
770
00:37:46,430 --> 00:37:48,307
Come on.
771
00:37:49,767 --> 00:37:51,477
Well, for your information,
772
00:37:51,519 --> 00:37:54,105
ghosts are really
sort of unaware of
their surroundings.
773
00:37:54,146 --> 00:37:56,649
They just sort of stare off
into the distance in a trance.
774
00:37:56,691 --> 00:37:58,317
Okay.
775
00:37:58,359 --> 00:38:00,278
I'll set up
the video camera then.
776
00:38:00,319 --> 00:38:03,030
Okay, I'll set up
the food.
777
00:38:04,907 --> 00:38:07,493
- You brought food?
- Yeah.
778
00:38:08,869 --> 00:38:10,246
It's a date,
remember?
779
00:38:12,957 --> 00:38:15,626
Uh, do you want
white or red?
780
00:38:18,170 --> 00:38:20,214
I thought we were just
gonna stake out the bed
781
00:38:20,256 --> 00:38:21,966
to see what was
killing those patients?
782
00:38:22,008 --> 00:38:24,093
Yeah, well, we are,
783
00:38:24,135 --> 00:38:25,636
but we don't have to
do it sober.
784
00:38:25,678 --> 00:38:27,388
Okay.
785
00:38:27,430 --> 00:38:29,598
White.
786
00:38:30,599 --> 00:38:32,268
Okay.
787
00:38:32,310 --> 00:38:34,312
( cork pops )
788
00:38:34,353 --> 00:38:37,315
Do you remember
the other day
789
00:38:37,356 --> 00:38:39,400
when you told me
that you had me
figured out?
790
00:38:39,442 --> 00:38:41,068
Yeah.
791
00:38:42,153 --> 00:38:44,572
Well, I've been
doing some thinking,
792
00:38:44,613 --> 00:38:46,782
and I think that
I've got you figured out.
793
00:38:46,824 --> 00:38:48,659
( chuckles )
794
00:38:50,411 --> 00:38:52,371
- Really?
- Yeah.
795
00:38:55,458 --> 00:38:57,668
You're full of shit,
you know that?
796
00:38:57,710 --> 00:39:00,004
Excuse me?
797
00:39:00,046 --> 00:39:02,631
If you want something,
you just gotta ask for it.
798
00:39:04,508 --> 00:39:06,802
Can I kiss you?
799
00:39:09,889 --> 00:39:11,599
No.
800
00:39:15,186 --> 00:39:16,937
( knock on door )
801
00:39:18,773 --> 00:39:20,399
Exam room six.
802
00:39:20,441 --> 00:39:23,444
No no no!
803
00:39:28,574 --> 00:39:31,243
Yeah yeah yeah,
fine fine.
804
00:39:31,285 --> 00:39:33,621
You're welcome.
805
00:39:33,662 --> 00:39:37,208
Okay, I'm going to need
to get some tests
806
00:39:37,249 --> 00:39:39,835
and for that I need a urine,
blood and stool sample.
807
00:39:39,877 --> 00:39:41,796
What?
808
00:39:41,837 --> 00:39:44,799
I need to get a urine,
blood and stool sample.
809
00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:47,009
What?
810
00:39:47,051 --> 00:39:50,971
I need to get a urine,
blood and stool sample!
811
00:39:51,013 --> 00:39:54,642
- Ehat?!
- She needs a pair
of your underwear!
812
00:39:54,683 --> 00:39:56,769
Ooh...
813
00:39:56,811 --> 00:40:00,481
Okay, let's check out
that itching and discharge
you've been having.
814
00:40:05,194 --> 00:40:06,862
- ( moaning )
- How's that feel?
815
00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:10,408
That feels great!
816
00:40:10,449 --> 00:40:14,120
But the discharge
is in my ear.
817
00:40:14,161 --> 00:40:16,330
( laughing )
818
00:40:18,874 --> 00:40:21,544
Oh no, don't go.
Come back!
819
00:40:29,552 --> 00:40:31,637
( alarm beeping )
820
00:40:34,557 --> 00:40:37,309
( vacuum cleaner
roaring )
821
00:40:47,987 --> 00:40:50,156
Sarah!
Sarah, the ghost!
822
00:40:50,197 --> 00:40:53,242
Oh my god!
His life support's off.
823
00:40:54,660 --> 00:40:56,162
Jesus Christ.
824
00:40:56,203 --> 00:40:58,664
Ma'am, you've just unplugged
this man's life support.
825
00:40:58,706 --> 00:41:01,250
( speaking foreign language )
826
00:41:04,420 --> 00:41:06,255
- What kind of
language is this?
- I don't know.
827
00:41:06,297 --> 00:41:09,592
No, ma'am, no unplug-y
machine-y.
828
00:41:09,633 --> 00:41:12,553
No speak english.
829
00:41:12,595 --> 00:41:14,513
Oh really?
830
00:41:14,555 --> 00:41:16,515
Doctor Kipp.
831
00:41:16,557 --> 00:41:18,517
I think she wants us
to see Dr. Kipp.
832
00:41:18,559 --> 00:41:20,686
Well, he'll be
in his office.
833
00:41:20,728 --> 00:41:22,480
- It's 4:00 in the morning.
- He's always here.
834
00:41:22,521 --> 00:41:25,483
- Dr. Kipp, ya!
- Okay, yeah, Dr. Kipp.
835
00:41:25,524 --> 00:41:27,860
Okay, we go see
Dr. Kipp.
836
00:41:27,902 --> 00:41:30,029
Okay, come on.
We go see Dr. Kipp
837
00:41:30,070 --> 00:41:31,989
because you're a murderer.
838
00:41:32,031 --> 00:41:34,533
( blues music playing )
839
00:41:39,330 --> 00:41:42,500
Hi, sarah.
What's going on?
840
00:41:42,541 --> 00:41:45,961
Gina, pulling kind of
a long shift, aren't you?
841
00:41:46,003 --> 00:41:49,048
Oh, I'm off the clock.
842
00:41:49,089 --> 00:41:51,675
Who is it?
Oh, Marina.
843
00:41:51,717 --> 00:41:53,093
You've got some
friends with you.
844
00:41:53,135 --> 00:41:54,970
Come on in,
we were having
some ice wine.
845
00:41:55,012 --> 00:41:57,515
Dr. Kipp.
( speaks foreign language )
846
00:41:57,556 --> 00:42:00,559
Oh, what's the problem?
847
00:42:00,601 --> 00:42:04,688
This woman here,
this murderer, Marina,
848
00:42:04,730 --> 00:42:06,690
has been unplugging
the life support system
849
00:42:06,732 --> 00:42:08,442
to plug in
her floor polisher.
850
00:42:08,484 --> 00:42:11,987
( speaks foreign language )
851
00:42:12,029 --> 00:42:14,532
Oh!
852
00:42:14,573 --> 00:42:18,035
( speaks foreign language )
853
00:42:18,077 --> 00:42:18,953
Wait wait,
you understood her?
854
00:42:18,994 --> 00:42:22,915
Of course, I understood her.
I don't hire people
I don't understand.
855
00:42:22,957 --> 00:42:23,874
I go to the Ukraine
a couple of times a year,
856
00:42:23,916 --> 00:42:27,586
bring back a dozen of them,
help them get their landed
immigrant status.
857
00:42:27,628 --> 00:42:29,380
Go back,
get a dozen more.
858
00:42:29,421 --> 00:42:31,715
Call it an internship
for cleaning ladies.
859
00:42:31,757 --> 00:42:33,842
- Ah.
- She knows what
she did wrong.
860
00:42:33,884 --> 00:42:36,554
Can't bring back
the dead.
861
00:42:36,595 --> 00:42:38,514
So let's have
some ice wine.
862
00:42:39,473 --> 00:42:41,559
She understood that,
didn't she?
863
00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:44,353
You're gonna take a left.
It's gonna be okay.
864
00:42:44,395 --> 00:42:45,688
Right down here,
take a left.
865
00:42:45,729 --> 00:42:47,731
- Good luck.
- Okay. Thank you,
Dr. Balls.
866
00:42:47,773 --> 00:42:49,567
- Dr. Balls.
- Thank you.
867
00:42:49,608 --> 00:42:53,112
Mike:
By midterm I could run an i.v.
In three seconds flat.
868
00:42:53,153 --> 00:42:55,948
But thanks
to the disorganization
at St. Al's,
869
00:42:55,990 --> 00:42:58,701
finding my classes was
still a real challenge.
870
00:42:58,742 --> 00:43:00,494
430...
871
00:43:05,082 --> 00:43:07,835
You want fries with that?
( laughs )
872
00:43:10,546 --> 00:43:13,424
this is John Doe V.
873
00:43:13,465 --> 00:43:16,302
Since we were unable
to identify a next of kin,
874
00:43:16,343 --> 00:43:18,596
we asked John
if he wouldn't mind
being cut up
875
00:43:18,637 --> 00:43:20,556
by a bunch of interns.
876
00:43:20,598 --> 00:43:23,809
Well, he didn't say no.
877
00:43:25,811 --> 00:43:27,980
What we do in this class
878
00:43:28,022 --> 00:43:30,691
is kind of like "C.S.I."
879
00:43:30,733 --> 00:43:32,776
You kids like that show?
880
00:43:33,777 --> 00:43:35,446
I love it.
881
00:43:35,487 --> 00:43:39,199
I mean, since "Quincy"
got pulled off the air,
882
00:43:39,241 --> 00:43:42,202
there's really
nothing that a dedicated
pathologist like myself
883
00:43:42,244 --> 00:43:44,747
can really sink
his teeth into.
884
00:43:45,706 --> 00:43:47,249
( all gasp )
885
00:43:47,291 --> 00:43:47,958
( cracks )
886
00:43:50,461 --> 00:43:54,006
We're gonna figure out
what killed John Doe V today.
887
00:43:54,048 --> 00:43:56,800
It may very well
have been my scalpel.
888
00:43:58,844 --> 00:44:03,807
And we're gonna start
with Msssssssss...
889
00:44:06,894 --> 00:44:10,230
- Dowd.
- No, it's Towers.
890
00:44:10,272 --> 00:44:11,899
Check for bruising
and trauma.
891
00:44:11,940 --> 00:44:14,943
Very good,
Ms. Charles.
892
00:44:14,985 --> 00:44:18,405
- No, it's Towers.
- Are you challenging me,
Ms. Powers Towers?
893
00:44:18,447 --> 00:44:21,867
I'm the teacher here.
He has no trauma.
894
00:44:21,909 --> 00:44:24,662
♪ Yes, he has no trauma ♪
895
00:44:24,703 --> 00:44:28,415
♪ He has no trauma
today... ♪
896
00:44:30,834 --> 00:44:33,796
Big finish-- ♪ Today ♪
Blackout-- ♪ Today. ♪
897
00:44:33,837 --> 00:44:35,881
Blackout.
898
00:44:35,923 --> 00:44:38,717
Next.
Mssss...
899
00:44:38,759 --> 00:44:40,678
( buzzes )
900
00:44:40,719 --> 00:44:43,305
China.
901
00:44:43,347 --> 00:44:45,724
- Me?
- Yes, you.
902
00:44:45,766 --> 00:44:47,685
Miss China-Full-of
Eastern-Promise,
903
00:44:47,726 --> 00:44:49,436
Miss China-- You!
904
00:44:49,478 --> 00:44:52,731
It's Lee.
Christine Lee.
905
00:44:52,773 --> 00:44:54,858
Very good,
Miss Chrissie Lee.
906
00:44:54,900 --> 00:44:57,778
I want to hang you
from my rearview mirror
like a car freshener.
907
00:44:57,820 --> 00:45:01,907
Check the body for stab,
gunshot and puncture wounds.
908
00:45:01,949 --> 00:45:03,242
No stab...
909
00:45:03,283 --> 00:45:04,910
And no gunshot.
910
00:45:04,952 --> 00:45:08,163
What kind of puncture wounds,
Miss Cree-Lee-Lee--
911
00:45:08,205 --> 00:45:09,873
if that's
your real name!
912
00:45:09,915 --> 00:45:12,710
Syringe wounds
which would indicate
913
00:45:12,751 --> 00:45:14,128
possible drug overdose.
914
00:45:14,169 --> 00:45:15,963
That's what I thought
you meant.
915
00:45:16,004 --> 00:45:18,257
No track marks!
Ha ha!
916
00:45:18,298 --> 00:45:20,801
Next, Mr....
917
00:45:20,843 --> 00:45:23,011
Banister Wood.
918
00:45:23,053 --> 00:45:25,556
- Bonnert.
- Yes.
919
00:45:25,597 --> 00:45:27,891
Check for
myocardial infarction?
920
00:45:27,933 --> 00:45:29,768
Very good.
And how do we
check for that?
921
00:45:29,810 --> 00:45:34,356
- By cutting open the chest.
- Very good, Mr. Woodbone!
922
00:45:34,398 --> 00:45:36,400
Step this way.
Come on, come on, come on.
923
00:45:36,442 --> 00:45:39,820
Hup, two, three, four.
Hup, two, three, four.
924
00:45:39,862 --> 00:45:42,823
Shut the door,
what's the score,
dinosaur?
925
00:45:42,865 --> 00:45:45,701
Do think I look Amish?
926
00:45:45,743 --> 00:45:48,120
You know,
with my hair like...
927
00:45:48,162 --> 00:45:50,289
- Very good, Mr. Bigbone!
- forget it.
928
00:45:50,330 --> 00:45:51,123
Now, prove your worth.
929
00:45:51,123 --> 00:45:54,543
I really don't think
that I'm the right person
to do this.
930
00:45:54,585 --> 00:45:57,254
What are you talking about?
You've got the bone saw,
you've the scalpel,
931
00:45:57,296 --> 00:45:59,298
you've got the meat apron.
You wanna be a doctor, right?
932
00:45:59,339 --> 00:46:01,467
- You look like
the right guy to me.
- I'd be happy to do it.
933
00:46:01,508 --> 00:46:04,595
Cool it, Miss M.S.G.
Let Doogie have a go.
934
00:46:11,268 --> 00:46:14,354
Now, this procedure is
excellent practice
935
00:46:14,396 --> 00:46:17,900
for those of you who
wish to become hotshot
cardiac surgeons.
936
00:46:17,941 --> 00:46:20,903
The big cash cow
for cardiac surgeons
937
00:46:20,944 --> 00:46:23,947
is the bypass operation,
or c.a.b.g.
938
00:46:23,989 --> 00:46:26,992
( sniffs )
Each of you will
perform this procedure
939
00:46:27,034 --> 00:46:28,744
at least once
in this class.
940
00:46:36,251 --> 00:46:38,003
Good good good.
941
00:46:41,924 --> 00:46:44,051
Replace your tool.
942
00:46:45,010 --> 00:46:47,805
Hey, um,..
943
00:46:47,846 --> 00:46:49,389
- The spreader.
- Yes.
944
00:46:49,431 --> 00:46:50,849
Spread 'em.
945
00:46:53,727 --> 00:46:55,896
( sloshing )
946
00:46:57,105 --> 00:46:59,358
( crunching )
947
00:47:04,029 --> 00:47:07,199
Well, someone
pushed a little hard
on the chest, didn't they?
948
00:47:11,703 --> 00:47:13,288
- Ew!
- Gross.
949
00:47:21,046 --> 00:47:23,841
Now, it looks like
this stiff is ruined.
950
00:47:23,882 --> 00:47:26,510
So wire the sternum shut,
stitch him up,
951
00:47:26,552 --> 00:47:28,428
run him up the flagpole,
see who salutes him.
952
00:47:28,470 --> 00:47:30,848
While we're waiting
for Mr. Butterfield to finish,
953
00:47:30,889 --> 00:47:34,434
what do you say
we play a little game
of "Brussels Sprout Boy"?
954
00:47:36,186 --> 00:47:38,689
You know, where you
rearrange all the parts
955
00:47:38,730 --> 00:47:42,693
and stick 'em
back on to come up with
a new figure to play with.
956
00:47:46,947 --> 00:47:49,533
- ( humming )
- ( sawing )
957
00:47:49,575 --> 00:47:50,993
( gasps )
958
00:47:53,078 --> 00:47:55,455
There.
959
00:47:55,497 --> 00:47:57,249
Ping.
960
00:47:58,792 --> 00:48:01,253
Now, where shall I sew
this nose back on
961
00:48:01,295 --> 00:48:05,007
for maximum comic effect?
962
00:48:05,048 --> 00:48:06,174
Any suggestions?
963
00:48:06,216 --> 00:48:10,053
Right, the forehead
it is, then.
964
00:48:12,681 --> 00:48:14,474
Dr. Keller,
965
00:48:14,516 --> 00:48:17,311
we finally got
a response on those
pics of John Doe V,
966
00:48:17,352 --> 00:48:19,688
and the family are here
to identify the body
967
00:48:19,730 --> 00:48:22,232
and take the remains
to a funeral home.
968
00:48:44,004 --> 00:48:46,006
Hey, Bonnert.
969
00:48:46,048 --> 00:48:48,467
I heard about
your little accident
in pathology.
970
00:48:48,508 --> 00:48:50,177
You know, I don't
know what's worse:
971
00:48:50,218 --> 00:48:54,056
puking in some corpse's chest
or telling the wrong family
972
00:48:54,097 --> 00:48:55,390
that their loved ones
are dead.
973
00:48:55,432 --> 00:48:59,645
You know,
if by some miracle
974
00:48:59,686 --> 00:49:01,980
you manage to graduate--
and I really doubt that--
975
00:49:02,022 --> 00:49:05,192
you might want to consider
setting up a private practice
976
00:49:05,233 --> 00:49:07,110
in a Christian Science
community
977
00:49:07,152 --> 00:49:09,696
where a man of your talents
would really be appreciated.
978
00:49:09,738 --> 00:49:11,990
Have a nice day.
979
00:49:15,994 --> 00:49:17,871
Gee, that guy's
a bastard.
980
00:49:17,913 --> 00:49:21,875
Yep, but he really seems
to have it in for you, Mike.
981
00:49:21,917 --> 00:49:24,002
No no, he is right.
982
00:49:24,044 --> 00:49:26,505
I am not cut out
for being a doctor.
983
00:49:26,546 --> 00:49:27,547
Would you quit
your moping, please?
984
00:49:27,589 --> 00:49:32,010
All you need is a good night
out with some friends to take
your mind off of this.
985
00:49:32,052 --> 00:49:33,929
Dale's right.
We should go out tonight.
986
00:49:33,971 --> 00:49:36,181
Listen to Dale.
It'll be good for you.
987
00:49:38,350 --> 00:49:40,727
- ( dance music playing )
- ( crowd cheering )
988
00:49:42,145 --> 00:49:45,023
This is incredible.
Dale, this was
a brilliant idea.
989
00:49:45,065 --> 00:49:47,734
Look at this.
This is horrible!
990
00:49:47,776 --> 00:49:50,320
It totally
objectifies women.
991
00:49:51,905 --> 00:49:54,116
Christine, let me tell you
something, all right?
992
00:49:54,157 --> 00:49:56,368
Men walk in here
with their pockets
full of cash
993
00:49:56,410 --> 00:49:58,787
and walk out totally broke
just to look at some ass.
994
00:49:58,829 --> 00:50:00,497
Who's really being
objectified here?
995
00:50:00,539 --> 00:50:02,374
That's not what
objectified means.
996
00:50:02,416 --> 00:50:04,710
I'm not talking about
the book version
of objectified.
997
00:50:04,751 --> 00:50:06,211
I'm talking about
the street version.
998
00:50:06,253 --> 00:50:08,463
Emcee:
All right, lady lovers!
999
00:50:08,505 --> 00:50:11,216
Get your hands
out of your pants
and put 'em together
1000
00:50:11,258 --> 00:50:13,593
for Naughty Nurse Tawny.
1001
00:50:27,357 --> 00:50:29,026
Hey hey hey,
that's Mitzi.
1002
00:50:29,067 --> 00:50:32,195
- No no, that's Tawny.
- Holy shit!
1003
00:50:32,237 --> 00:50:33,697
Dale:
How come you
and the other nurses
1004
00:50:33,739 --> 00:50:35,198
don't wear outfits
like that?
1005
00:50:35,240 --> 00:50:37,868
Maybe because we're not
all naughty stripping nurses.
1006
00:50:37,909 --> 00:50:41,621
Mira:
I had no idea she had
such a good body.
1007
00:50:41,663 --> 00:50:43,999
What the hell
is she doing?
1008
00:50:44,041 --> 00:50:46,626
Yeah, and why the hell
would she call herself Tawny?
1009
00:50:46,668 --> 00:50:48,920
Mitzi's a perfectly good
stripper name.
1010
00:50:53,300 --> 00:50:56,261
We should go. If she knows
we're here she'll get
really embarrassed.
1011
00:50:56,303 --> 00:50:58,221
She doesn't look
too shy to me.
1012
00:51:06,354 --> 00:51:08,273
Hi, Mitzi.
1013
00:51:23,955 --> 00:51:26,208
Hey hey.
1014
00:51:26,249 --> 00:51:29,211
Hey. Why does this
keep happening?
1015
00:51:29,252 --> 00:51:32,005
You know, are you guys
just out to embarrass me?
1016
00:51:32,047 --> 00:51:34,925
I mean, first in the lab class
with the sperm in my mouth,
1017
00:51:34,966 --> 00:51:36,676
- and now this?
- No.
1018
00:51:36,718 --> 00:51:39,596
No, we didn't even know
that you...
1019
00:51:42,182 --> 00:51:44,267
Ugh!
1020
00:51:44,309 --> 00:51:47,771
You know what?
I don't have two rich
doctors as parents.
1021
00:51:47,813 --> 00:51:49,940
And I am not some brainiac
like Christine
1022
00:51:49,981 --> 00:51:51,650
cruising through
on a fat scholarship.
1023
00:51:51,691 --> 00:51:53,735
I have to actually work
to pay for med school.
1024
00:51:58,281 --> 00:52:00,075
What are you doing?
1025
00:52:00,117 --> 00:52:01,952
I know there is
nothing that I could--
1026
00:52:01,993 --> 00:52:03,954
Hello, move along,
please--
1027
00:52:03,995 --> 00:52:06,957
there is nothing
that I can say to you
1028
00:52:06,998 --> 00:52:09,543
to prove to you that I am not
trying to embarrass you.
1029
00:52:10,836 --> 00:52:12,587
So maybe if I
embarrassed myself,
1030
00:52:12,629 --> 00:52:15,340
maybe you would realize
I would never do anything
1031
00:52:15,382 --> 00:52:17,092
to hurt you
in any way,
1032
00:52:17,134 --> 00:52:19,219
and that so far
1033
00:52:19,261 --> 00:52:21,054
up until now
1034
00:52:21,096 --> 00:52:24,266
everything has just been
a big ridiculous mistake.
1035
00:52:27,144 --> 00:52:29,938
Well, you didn't take
your underwear off.
1036
00:52:29,980 --> 00:52:31,731
You want me to take off
my underwear?
1037
00:52:31,773 --> 00:52:34,276
Not here.
1038
00:52:34,317 --> 00:52:36,736
Oh.
1039
00:52:36,778 --> 00:52:41,491
♪ You've got the guns
and I've got the holster,
baby... ♪
1040
00:52:41,533 --> 00:52:42,951
( crowd continues
cheering )
1041
00:52:42,993 --> 00:52:45,245
Yeah, baby, baby! Ow!
1042
00:52:46,788 --> 00:52:49,332
Mira:
I think Mitzi was much
better than this girl.
1043
00:52:49,374 --> 00:52:52,210
Yeah, she doesn't know anything
about working the pole.
1044
00:52:52,252 --> 00:52:54,379
What do you know
about working the pole?
1045
00:52:54,421 --> 00:52:56,798
You know, what I want
to know about the pole
1046
00:52:56,840 --> 00:52:57,591
is who cleans them.
I mean, seriously,
1047
00:52:57,632 --> 00:53:01,219
these girls go
up and down these things
like, well, snails.
1048
00:53:01,261 --> 00:53:02,679
I mean, it can't be
hygienic.
1049
00:53:02,721 --> 00:53:05,223
And what about stuffing
that money in their crotches.
1050
00:53:05,265 --> 00:53:07,809
Everyone knows money is
a known disease carrier.
1051
00:53:07,851 --> 00:53:10,478
You know what?
You two are really killing
the mood here, okay?
1052
00:53:10,520 --> 00:53:14,232
I came to see naked women,
not talk about the science
of vaginas.
1053
00:53:14,274 --> 00:53:17,194
- We are all doctors.
- Yes, we are doctors.
1054
00:53:17,235 --> 00:53:20,488
But we're also men and women,
and we deserve to get freaky
when we like to.
1055
00:53:20,530 --> 00:53:22,407
So I'll tell you what,
1056
00:53:22,449 --> 00:53:25,035
you saw how I put that money
in that last girl's g-string?
1057
00:53:25,076 --> 00:53:27,078
I will buy this round
and the next round
1058
00:53:27,120 --> 00:53:29,789
if you put this money
in her g-string.
1059
00:53:29,831 --> 00:53:31,583
You guys think
I'm a real wuss,
don't you?
1060
00:53:31,625 --> 00:53:34,586
You could stand
to loosen up a little bit.
Come on, live a little.
1061
00:53:34,628 --> 00:53:36,796
Oh yeah?
All right.
1062
00:53:39,257 --> 00:53:40,884
What the hell?
1063
00:53:40,926 --> 00:53:41,551
That loose enough
for you guys?
1064
00:53:41,593 --> 00:53:44,387
Yeah, loose enough
to get us kicked
outta here.
1065
00:53:44,429 --> 00:53:46,223
Sorry sorry,
that was a reflex action.
1066
00:53:46,264 --> 00:53:48,350
She thought she was
swiping an A.T.M.
1067
00:53:48,391 --> 00:53:49,351
Just take this money,
please.
1068
00:53:49,392 --> 00:53:53,104
Give me some more of these
and I'll let you shove your
whole fist in my ass.
1069
00:53:53,146 --> 00:53:55,106
- Oh, nasty!
- I'm outta here!
1070
00:53:55,148 --> 00:53:57,025
Time to go.
1071
00:54:05,367 --> 00:54:06,534
- Hey.
- Hi.
1072
00:54:06,576 --> 00:54:09,537
Wow.
What is this?
1073
00:54:09,579 --> 00:54:11,665
- It's an Ever Pink.
- Oh.
1074
00:54:15,293 --> 00:54:18,129
( choking )
1075
00:54:18,171 --> 00:54:19,756
What's in that?
1076
00:54:19,798 --> 00:54:22,676
Pink lemonade
and grain alcohol.
1077
00:54:24,511 --> 00:54:26,596
It was probably
that grain I tasted.
1078
00:54:33,770 --> 00:54:36,690
So did the pole come
with the apartment?
1079
00:54:36,731 --> 00:54:40,277
Actually, no. I was dating
a construction contractor.
1080
00:54:40,318 --> 00:54:42,445
We met at the club.
1081
00:54:42,487 --> 00:54:45,907
So for my birthday,
he had it installed
1082
00:54:45,949 --> 00:54:47,826
so I could do shows
for him and his friends.
1083
00:54:47,867 --> 00:54:50,912
Then we broke up
and I got to keep the pole.
1084
00:54:52,497 --> 00:54:54,416
Well, that's cool.
1085
00:54:55,709 --> 00:54:57,377
Oh yeah.
1086
00:54:59,337 --> 00:55:01,214
Yeah.
1087
00:55:01,256 --> 00:55:03,174
Oh...
1088
00:55:03,216 --> 00:55:05,385
I don't really see very well
without my glasses.
1089
00:55:07,262 --> 00:55:09,472
So you-you weren't kidding.
1090
00:55:09,514 --> 00:55:11,641
You really are
a Malibu Mindy fan.
1091
00:55:11,683 --> 00:55:13,977
Yeah, do you watch it?
1092
00:55:14,019 --> 00:55:15,979
- Yeah.
- Did you see the one
1093
00:55:16,021 --> 00:55:17,981
when they were playing
for the firefighters?
1094
00:55:18,023 --> 00:55:21,359
Yeah.
The malibu fire?
Of course, I did.
1095
00:55:21,401 --> 00:55:23,320
♪ So hot,
gotta cool down ♪
1096
00:55:23,361 --> 00:55:26,656
♪ Santa anas spreading
the flames around. ♪
1097
00:55:28,533 --> 00:55:30,368
Yeah.
1098
00:55:30,410 --> 00:55:32,078
They're good.
1099
00:55:32,120 --> 00:55:33,788
I love Malibu Mindy.
1100
00:55:33,830 --> 00:55:37,542
She's so sweet
and innocent.
1101
00:55:39,252 --> 00:55:42,839
Well, that's exactly
how I see you, actually.
1102
00:55:42,881 --> 00:55:45,800
That's exactly
how I try to be.
1103
00:55:54,601 --> 00:55:56,102
Oh!
1104
00:55:56,144 --> 00:55:58,855
( both moaning )
1105
00:55:58,897 --> 00:56:01,441
- Mike?
- Yeah?
1106
00:56:01,483 --> 00:56:03,318
What you got
in there?
1107
00:56:03,360 --> 00:56:06,988
It's just
some keys, I think.
Maybe some lip balm.
1108
00:56:07,030 --> 00:56:08,615
- Hmm.
- No, oh!
1109
00:56:08,656 --> 00:56:11,951
Oh that?
Don't make fun.
1110
00:56:11,993 --> 00:56:14,120
Are you kidding me?
1111
00:56:14,162 --> 00:56:17,415
Get these pants off!
Let me see this thing!
1112
00:56:17,457 --> 00:56:20,668
- Huh?
- ( both grunting )
1113
00:56:22,003 --> 00:56:24,422
Oh my--
Oh my god.
1114
00:56:24,464 --> 00:56:26,216
You think I'm a freak.
1115
00:56:27,509 --> 00:56:31,471
Well, yeah,
definitely.
1116
00:56:31,513 --> 00:56:34,057
A superfreak.
1117
00:56:34,099 --> 00:56:36,643
But in a good way.
1118
00:56:36,684 --> 00:56:38,395
In a very good way.
1119
00:56:38,436 --> 00:56:40,230
Oh.
1120
00:56:44,150 --> 00:56:46,611
Hey hey hey hey!
Don't-don't you think
1121
00:56:46,653 --> 00:56:49,531
that we should just,
you know, maybe talk
a little bit more?
1122
00:56:52,450 --> 00:56:54,786
Mike:
Working through Christmas
really sucks.
1123
00:56:54,828 --> 00:56:56,621
But if you
have to do it,
1124
00:56:56,663 --> 00:56:58,331
there's no better place
in the world
1125
00:56:58,373 --> 00:57:00,542
than the emergency room
at St. Albert's.
1126
00:57:02,752 --> 00:57:05,505
What's up, sister?
You don't feel like
partying tonight?
1127
00:57:05,547 --> 00:57:08,633
- No, I'm having a good time.
- You could have fooled me.
1128
00:57:08,675 --> 00:57:12,679
Marlon, a girl
doesn't have to be
drunk to have fun.
1129
00:57:12,720 --> 00:57:14,639
You know,
that may be true
in some cases,
1130
00:57:14,681 --> 00:57:18,059
but with you, you actually
do need to be drunk
to have a good time.
1131
00:57:18,101 --> 00:57:19,686
Come on,
drink it up.
1132
00:57:19,727 --> 00:57:20,603
Why does everybody
want me to drink?
1133
00:57:20,645 --> 00:57:24,399
You're like the fifth person
that's tried to get me
to drink tonight.
1134
00:57:24,441 --> 00:57:26,443
- I don't understand it.
- Listen to me carefully.
1135
00:57:26,484 --> 00:57:28,236
I had to line up
with Dr. Turner.
1136
00:57:28,278 --> 00:57:30,572
That fool's breath
is ferocious, please.
1137
00:57:30,613 --> 00:57:33,450
All right,
just give it to me.
1138
00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:36,494
That's what
I'm talking about.
1139
00:57:36,536 --> 00:57:38,496
See, don't be afraid
of your inner freak.
1140
00:57:38,538 --> 00:57:40,498
- Embrace it.
- You happy?
1141
00:57:40,540 --> 00:57:43,001
- Here.
- Wow.
1142
00:57:47,088 --> 00:57:48,840
Oh my god.
1143
00:57:50,216 --> 00:57:52,218
Dale, this is
a Cartier watch.
1144
00:57:52,260 --> 00:57:54,095
Yeah.
1145
00:57:54,137 --> 00:57:56,973
What are you doing?
Why are you giving me this?
1146
00:57:57,015 --> 00:58:00,518
You don't like it?
The girl at the store
said that you'd like it.
1147
00:58:00,560 --> 00:58:03,646
Oh, I like it.
Um...
1148
00:58:06,191 --> 00:58:08,318
Are you trying
to tell me something?
1149
00:58:12,071 --> 00:58:14,699
Merry Christmas.
1150
00:58:20,371 --> 00:58:22,499
- Yup.
- That's what
I'm talking about.
1151
00:58:22,540 --> 00:58:24,083
- I'm happy.
- I know.
1152
00:58:24,125 --> 00:58:25,710
I'm gonna get rid
of this.
1153
00:58:25,752 --> 00:58:27,629
You don't need that,
but you need to dance
1154
00:58:27,670 --> 00:58:29,881
to burn them carbs up
you just consumed, right?
1155
00:58:29,923 --> 00:58:31,508
- I love to dance.
- I love to dance, too.
1156
00:58:31,549 --> 00:58:33,593
You're tall.
What just happened?
1157
00:58:33,635 --> 00:58:36,554
- I'm wearing heels.
- Oh, they're nice.
Keep those on, okay?
1158
00:58:36,596 --> 00:58:37,972
( feedback )
1159
00:58:38,014 --> 00:58:40,725
Happy holidays.
For those of you
who don't know me,
1160
00:58:40,767 --> 00:58:43,269
I'm Dr. Cyril Kipp,
the hospital administrator.
1161
00:58:43,311 --> 00:58:45,146
I was just sitting here
having some punch,
1162
00:58:45,188 --> 00:58:45,980
listening
to the Christmas carols,
1163
00:58:46,022 --> 00:58:49,192
most notably
"Good King Wenceslas,"
who according to the song
1164
00:58:49,234 --> 00:58:52,237
was having a find old time
at his Feast of Stephen.
1165
00:58:52,278 --> 00:58:56,032
I couldn't help but think,
"when is St. Al's gonna have
their Feast of Stephen?"
1166
00:58:56,074 --> 00:58:58,743
- Man: Yeah, when?
- Well,
1167
00:58:58,785 --> 00:59:00,954
it won't be this year,
I can assure you.
1168
00:59:00,995 --> 00:59:03,873
Stephen's not even in the same
zip code as us right now.
1169
00:59:03,915 --> 00:59:06,543
But Christmas is
a time of Miracles,
1170
00:59:06,584 --> 00:59:09,045
and maybe, just maybe,
someone up there will
find a way
1171
00:59:09,087 --> 00:59:11,506
to help me to keep
the doors open
1172
00:59:11,548 --> 00:59:12,882
at St. Al's
one more year.
1173
00:59:12,924 --> 00:59:16,135
But I wouldn't bank on it.
Go ahead, tim.
1174
00:59:16,177 --> 00:59:20,723
Merry Christmas
and god bless us--
everyone.
1175
00:59:20,765 --> 00:59:22,684
( faint applause )
1176
00:59:22,725 --> 00:59:24,561
( feedback )
1177
00:59:25,937 --> 00:59:27,647
Ahem.
1178
00:59:29,482 --> 00:59:31,109
Thank you,
Dr. Kipp,
1179
00:59:31,150 --> 00:59:33,736
for your usual uplifting
Christmas message.
1180
00:59:33,778 --> 00:59:36,155
Fortunately, we have
the Jimmy Chin Trio here
1181
00:59:36,197 --> 00:59:37,574
with us again this year
1182
00:59:37,615 --> 00:59:40,618
to help us out
of Dr. Kipp's pit of despair.
1183
00:59:40,660 --> 00:59:43,121
- You all know
Dr. Jimmy Chin.
- Man: all right, jimmy!
1184
00:59:43,162 --> 00:59:45,915
And back again
this year on bass,
1185
00:59:45,957 --> 00:59:47,750
Dr. Stanley Gilbreath.
1186
00:59:47,792 --> 00:59:51,212
And for a very
limited engagement,
I'm sorry to say,
1187
00:59:51,254 --> 00:59:52,630
from intensive care,
1188
00:59:52,672 --> 00:59:55,133
welcome, please,
Dr. Harvey Yazmian.
1189
00:59:55,174 --> 00:59:57,594
The patient says,
1190
00:59:57,635 --> 01:00:00,680
"Uh, doctor,
I don't think
that's right."
1191
01:00:00,722 --> 01:00:03,349
I said, "Well, what would
make you think that?"
1192
01:00:03,391 --> 01:00:07,812
He says, "I don't know.
Just call it intuition
1193
01:00:07,854 --> 01:00:10,940
- Or... a hunch."
- ( all laugh )
1194
01:00:10,982 --> 01:00:14,611
Look, I would stack
my years of training
1195
01:00:14,652 --> 01:00:17,739
and experiences against
your hunches any day.
1196
01:00:19,574 --> 01:00:21,326
I think it's very important
for patients
1197
01:00:21,367 --> 01:00:22,994
to express their feelings
to their doctors.
1198
01:00:23,036 --> 01:00:26,623
And do you have
a medical basis for
that statement, doctor?
1199
01:00:26,664 --> 01:00:28,791
I'm sorry,
I keep forgetting.
1200
01:00:28,833 --> 01:00:31,044
You're not a doctor yet.
1201
01:00:31,085 --> 01:00:32,629
That might be so,
1202
01:00:32,670 --> 01:00:34,714
but we all have a sense
of our own bodies,
1203
01:00:34,756 --> 01:00:36,591
of our own health.
1204
01:00:36,633 --> 01:00:38,843
If we sense
something's wrong,
something's off,
1205
01:00:38,885 --> 01:00:40,678
it's very important to express
that to your doctor.
1206
01:00:40,720 --> 01:00:43,181
If you're doctor's
saying something that
doesn't make sense,
1207
01:00:43,222 --> 01:00:45,016
- Then you should
question him.
- Ah.
1208
01:00:45,058 --> 01:00:47,560
Well, you know this happens
every once in a while
1209
01:00:47,602 --> 01:00:51,773
that some smart-ass
little intern comes along
1210
01:00:51,814 --> 01:00:54,859
and expect us doctors
to stop and listen.
1211
01:00:54,901 --> 01:00:56,903
Well, I don't play it
that way.
1212
01:00:56,944 --> 01:00:58,863
With all due respect,
young lady,
1213
01:00:58,905 --> 01:01:02,075
you are full of shit.
Mm-hmm.
1214
01:01:02,116 --> 01:01:05,787
Now, if you should ever
graduate and become a doctor,
1215
01:01:05,828 --> 01:01:09,582
and you should spend the hours
that I've spent with patients,
1216
01:01:09,624 --> 01:01:12,418
then you can come
and talk to me.
1217
01:01:12,460 --> 01:01:16,005
I will graduate and I will
spend more time with my
patients than you ever have.
1218
01:01:16,047 --> 01:01:19,801
But I will never come talk
to you about anything,
you pompous ass!
1219
01:01:25,765 --> 01:01:29,143
- Oh, she wants me.
- ( laughing )
1220
01:01:29,185 --> 01:01:30,687
Hey, toots.
1221
01:01:30,728 --> 01:01:33,147
( giggles )
How're you doin'?
1222
01:01:33,189 --> 01:01:35,525
Thank you very much.
That's very nice.
1223
01:01:35,566 --> 01:01:37,860
Thank you very much.
1224
01:01:37,902 --> 01:01:40,321
♪ ...laughing
all the way ♪
1225
01:01:40,363 --> 01:01:42,657
♪ Bells on bobtails ring ♪
1226
01:01:42,699 --> 01:01:45,034
♪ Making spirits bright ♪
1227
01:01:45,076 --> 01:01:47,704
♪ Oh, what fun it is
to dance and sing... ♪
1228
01:01:47,745 --> 01:01:49,622
I'd like two more,
please.
1229
01:01:50,873 --> 01:01:52,917
Thank you.
1230
01:01:52,959 --> 01:01:54,752
- Merry Christmas.
- ( crowd laughing )
1231
01:01:54,794 --> 01:01:56,963
♪ Oh, what fun
it is to ride ♪
1232
01:01:57,004 --> 01:01:59,590
♪ In a one-horse
open sleigh, hey! ♪
1233
01:01:59,632 --> 01:02:01,843
♪ Jingle bells,
jingle bells ♪
1234
01:02:01,884 --> 01:02:03,761
♪ Jingle all the way... ♪
1235
01:02:03,803 --> 01:02:06,556
I brought you
something.
1236
01:02:08,933 --> 01:02:11,728
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
1237
01:02:11,769 --> 01:02:14,188
Merry Christmas.
1238
01:02:18,776 --> 01:02:20,445
Ahh...
1239
01:02:26,909 --> 01:02:29,746
So... Ahem...
1240
01:02:29,787 --> 01:02:31,914
What else you got?
1241
01:02:31,956 --> 01:02:34,834
What else do you want?
1242
01:02:34,876 --> 01:02:37,920
Well, if you're
gonna make me beg,
1243
01:02:37,962 --> 01:02:40,339
you can forget it.
1244
01:02:40,381 --> 01:02:42,175
Whoa whoa whoa,
slow your roll.
1245
01:02:42,216 --> 01:02:45,219
( both laugh )
1246
01:02:45,261 --> 01:02:46,971
Get out of the way,
damn it!
1247
01:02:49,223 --> 01:02:51,267
- Should we get
in the hot tub?
- Oh yeah.
1248
01:02:51,309 --> 01:02:52,935
- Will it make me wet.
- We're getting wet.
1249
01:02:52,977 --> 01:02:54,562
Should we get
in the hot tub? Oh.
1250
01:02:54,604 --> 01:02:57,148
Hey, come on in.
The water's perfect.
1251
01:02:57,190 --> 01:02:59,025
Sorry, Dr. Kipp.
We didn't mean to
interrupt you guys.
1252
01:02:59,066 --> 01:03:00,985
Don't be ridiculous.
1253
01:03:01,027 --> 01:03:01,903
Better get in
while you can.
1254
01:03:01,944 --> 01:03:06,282
I sold all these tubs.
This one's going to
the Philippines tomorrow.
1255
01:03:07,325 --> 01:03:09,952
What the fuck?
It's Christmas!
1256
01:03:09,994 --> 01:03:11,871
That's the spirit!
1257
01:03:13,414 --> 01:03:15,416
Well well well...
1258
01:03:15,458 --> 01:03:17,794
( "Joy to the World"
playing )
1259
01:03:19,003 --> 01:03:21,506
- Go!
- ( men cheering )
1260
01:03:23,841 --> 01:03:25,426
Nice ass, baby!
1261
01:03:25,468 --> 01:03:28,137
Hey, listen, Mike.
There's something
I gotta tell you.
1262
01:03:28,179 --> 01:03:30,014
- What?
- It's regard--
1263
01:03:30,056 --> 01:03:31,682
Hey hey, check it out.
1264
01:03:31,724 --> 01:03:34,685
Yeah, baby, right there!
You know how to party!
1265
01:03:34,727 --> 01:03:38,272
- It looks like someone
is really loosening up.
- Yeah, no shit.
1266
01:03:44,070 --> 01:03:45,738
Hey!
1267
01:03:47,907 --> 01:03:50,201
Come and get me, boys!
1268
01:03:50,243 --> 01:03:52,078
Hey, Christine! Hi!
1269
01:03:52,119 --> 01:03:53,830
Okay, yeah.
1270
01:03:53,871 --> 01:03:56,415
- Hey, Dale.
- Hey, whoa whoa...
1271
01:03:56,457 --> 01:03:57,875
My eyes are up here,
come on.
1272
01:03:57,917 --> 01:04:00,169
- Hello.
- Hello.
1273
01:04:00,211 --> 01:04:02,046
Okay, yeah,
you're in red.
1274
01:04:02,088 --> 01:04:04,340
- I am.
- Okay, that is a bite.
1275
01:04:04,382 --> 01:04:06,968
- That's a--
- Whoo!
1276
01:04:07,009 --> 01:04:08,636
Why don't you
go and see Dale?
1277
01:04:08,678 --> 01:04:10,471
- Go see Mike.
- Dale.
1278
01:04:10,513 --> 01:04:14,016
- Why don't you
go and see Dale?
- Okay, boys, show's over.
1279
01:04:14,058 --> 01:04:17,228
Hey, girls!
Hey, leave me alone!
1280
01:04:17,270 --> 01:04:20,106
- I wanna dance!
- You've danced enough
tonight, sweetie.
1281
01:04:21,107 --> 01:04:22,650
Bye, guys!
1282
01:04:23,985 --> 01:04:25,361
- Damn it!
- That was awesome!
1283
01:04:25,403 --> 01:04:27,071
It was.
1284
01:04:27,989 --> 01:04:30,867
No no no, there actually
was a St. Albert.
1285
01:04:30,908 --> 01:04:32,994
He lived between
1200 and 1280 A.D.
1286
01:04:33,035 --> 01:04:36,372
He was declared a saint
of natural science
by Pope Pius XII.
1287
01:04:36,414 --> 01:04:39,250
He was called
"The Universal Doctor,"
1288
01:04:39,292 --> 01:04:40,918
and "Albert the Great."
1289
01:04:40,960 --> 01:04:42,879
And he taught
St. Thomas Aquinas.
1290
01:04:42,920 --> 01:04:45,131
( laughing )
1291
01:04:45,172 --> 01:04:48,801
- ( snorts )
- Okay, you win.
1292
01:04:48,843 --> 01:04:50,261
- Your turn.
- Do I get to do it?
1293
01:04:50,303 --> 01:04:52,638
- Oh-oh.
- I can?
1294
01:04:52,680 --> 01:04:55,433
- Do it.
- ( mimics alarm )
1295
01:04:55,474 --> 01:04:57,018
Dive dive dive!
1296
01:05:01,147 --> 01:05:04,901
Oh, my head is
killing me.
1297
01:05:04,942 --> 01:05:07,904
You've gotta give it about
10 minutes and it'll start
to rehydrate your system.
1298
01:05:07,945 --> 01:05:10,197
I'm feeling it already.
1299
01:05:10,239 --> 01:05:13,910
- Hey, guys.
- ( clears throat )
1300
01:05:13,951 --> 01:05:15,953
Hey, party girl.
Did you get loosened up
last night?
1301
01:05:15,995 --> 01:05:18,122
Shut up, Marlon.
I don't wanna talk about it.
1302
01:05:18,164 --> 01:05:21,959
Uh, so Christine,
did you end up going
to midnight mass?
1303
01:05:22,001 --> 01:05:23,961
- Dale.
- What?
1304
01:05:24,003 --> 01:05:27,590
Look, I don't wanna
talk about it and I don't
wanna hear about it.
1305
01:05:27,632 --> 01:05:29,967
All right?
I feel humiliated
enough as it is.
1306
01:05:30,009 --> 01:05:33,054
- What are you
guys talking about?
- Christine got a little drunk.
1307
01:05:33,095 --> 01:05:35,014
Oh and what?
1308
01:05:35,056 --> 01:05:37,350
You stumbled into
the men's room?
1309
01:05:37,391 --> 01:05:40,728
You put your shoes
on the wrong feet?
You kicked a kitten?
1310
01:05:40,770 --> 01:05:42,688
Tell me you didn't
kick a kitten!
1311
01:05:42,730 --> 01:05:44,440
I took off all of my clothes,
all right?
1312
01:05:44,482 --> 01:05:46,692
You took off
all your clothes?
1313
01:05:46,734 --> 01:05:48,569
She didn't take off
all her clothes.
1314
01:05:48,611 --> 01:05:50,905
She still had
a g-string thing on.
1315
01:05:50,947 --> 01:05:53,699
- and a very pretty bra.
- Yeah.
1316
01:05:53,741 --> 01:05:55,368
So let me
get this straight.
1317
01:05:55,409 --> 01:05:57,745
I do all the work,
and they get to see
the stripper show?
1318
01:05:57,787 --> 01:06:00,790
- Shut up, Marlon.
- No, see, that just
ain't right.
1319
01:06:00,831 --> 01:06:03,084
They benefit
from the fruits of my labor.
1320
01:06:03,125 --> 01:06:06,420
- I said shut up!
- Come on, let me get a little
peek at your titties.
1321
01:06:06,462 --> 01:06:08,673
Fuck off, Marlon!
1322
01:06:08,714 --> 01:06:11,759
- Jesus, Marlon.
- You are such a pig.
1323
01:06:11,801 --> 01:06:14,345
That's not unreasonable.
1324
01:06:17,765 --> 01:06:21,143
Oh, I guess I should go
with the girls.
1325
01:06:31,195 --> 01:06:33,447
I think you really
upset Christine, Marlon.
1326
01:06:33,489 --> 01:06:35,908
Yeah.
1327
01:06:35,950 --> 01:06:38,244
Yeah.
1328
01:06:38,285 --> 01:06:40,663
But tell me,
what were her titties like?
1329
01:06:40,705 --> 01:06:43,207
They were fantastic!
1330
01:06:49,130 --> 01:06:52,550
Mike:
The days became nights
and the nights became weeks
1331
01:06:52,591 --> 01:06:54,343
and the weeks became months,
1332
01:06:54,385 --> 01:06:57,388
and we all became
very very tired.
1333
01:06:57,430 --> 01:07:00,975
♪ I'm in charge,
I'm only doing
what I want ♪
1334
01:07:01,017 --> 01:07:03,310
♪ Working my way
down from the top... ♪
1335
01:07:04,437 --> 01:07:05,771
Show time.
1336
01:07:05,813 --> 01:07:07,148
♪ It's not
exactly what I ♪
1337
01:07:07,189 --> 01:07:09,233
♪ I had in mind ♪
1338
01:07:09,275 --> 01:07:11,235
♪ I'd make some plans,
but I ♪
1339
01:07:11,277 --> 01:07:14,613
♪ I don't have time ♪
1340
01:07:14,655 --> 01:07:16,907
♪ This is life
such as it is ♪
1341
01:07:16,949 --> 01:07:19,035
♪ It's a coke
without the fizz ♪
1342
01:07:19,076 --> 01:07:22,413
♪ Wake me
when it's over... ♪
1343
01:07:22,455 --> 01:07:24,165
Exam room four.
1344
01:07:24,206 --> 01:07:26,709
♪ It's what's
making me sick ♪
1345
01:07:26,751 --> 01:07:31,130
♪ Wake me
when it's over... ♪
1346
01:07:33,799 --> 01:07:35,134
( gasps )
1347
01:07:35,176 --> 01:07:38,763
♪ Will I complain
if nobody listens? ♪
1348
01:07:38,804 --> 01:07:41,223
♪ I'll keep my problems
to myself... ♪
1349
01:07:41,265 --> 01:07:43,225
- exam room five.
- Yes, fine, okay, I'm coming.
1350
01:07:43,267 --> 01:07:47,063
♪ I've got
this pain from everything
I'm missin'... ♪
1351
01:07:48,397 --> 01:07:51,317
I need someone
to look at my breasts.
1352
01:07:51,358 --> 01:07:55,071
♪ Exactly what I,
I had in mind ♪
1353
01:07:55,112 --> 01:08:00,493
♪ I'd make some plans,
but I don't have time ♪
1354
01:08:00,534 --> 01:08:02,745
♪ This is life
such as it is ♪
1355
01:08:02,787 --> 01:08:05,706
♪ It's a coke
without the fizz ♪
1356
01:08:05,748 --> 01:08:07,958
Out of the way!
I'm very tired.
1357
01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:09,794
Very tired.
1358
01:08:11,253 --> 01:08:13,089
Bonnert!
1359
01:08:13,130 --> 01:08:14,590
Out of the way!
Come on!
1360
01:08:26,227 --> 01:08:29,522
♪ This is life
such as it is... ♪
1361
01:08:29,563 --> 01:08:31,732
Salt.
1362
01:08:31,774 --> 01:08:33,234
Salt.
1363
01:08:33,275 --> 01:08:36,112
All right, ladies,
time to rise and shine.
1364
01:08:36,153 --> 01:08:39,115
I've got
an 80-year-old woman
with a bowel problem,
1365
01:08:39,156 --> 01:08:42,201
a 50-year-old homeless man
suffering from exposure,
1366
01:08:42,243 --> 01:08:44,453
and uh... Oh,
1367
01:08:44,495 --> 01:08:46,872
a 26-year-old lawyer
who took too much viagra
1368
01:08:46,914 --> 01:08:48,541
and has an erection
that won't go down.
1369
01:08:48,582 --> 01:08:51,293
All:
I got the erection!
1370
01:08:54,547 --> 01:08:57,174
Hey.
1371
01:08:57,216 --> 01:08:58,634
There's an empty bed
in here.
1372
01:08:58,676 --> 01:09:02,138
- What?
- Come here.
1373
01:09:03,097 --> 01:09:05,057
Oh!
1374
01:09:16,694 --> 01:09:18,279
What's the deal
with him?
1375
01:09:18,320 --> 01:09:19,822
Oh, don't worry
about Mr. Reynolds.
1376
01:09:19,864 --> 01:09:21,240
He's been in a coma
for two years.
1377
01:09:21,282 --> 01:09:23,075
Hold on.
1378
01:09:24,410 --> 01:09:26,287
I have to
tell you something.
1379
01:09:29,039 --> 01:09:32,001
Oh, Jesus,
you're not pregnant,
are you?
1380
01:09:33,377 --> 01:09:35,880
Thank you for that
tender sentiment.
1381
01:09:35,921 --> 01:09:37,882
No, I'm not pregnant.
1382
01:09:39,425 --> 01:09:41,468
I got the job
in Kenya.
1383
01:09:42,428 --> 01:09:45,181
Oh.
1384
01:09:45,222 --> 01:09:48,225
Wow.
1385
01:09:49,727 --> 01:09:52,438
Uh, when do you go?
1386
01:09:54,190 --> 01:09:55,941
Well, I didn't
take it yet.
1387
01:09:57,610 --> 01:09:59,695
Why not?
1388
01:10:01,572 --> 01:10:05,910
Well, you'd be here
and I'd be there.
1389
01:10:08,871 --> 01:10:11,916
You mean, you wouldn't go
because of me?
1390
01:10:11,957 --> 01:10:15,628
Well... yeah.
1391
01:10:18,297 --> 01:10:20,341
Maybe.
1392
01:10:20,382 --> 01:10:22,092
I don't know--
that's stupid.
1393
01:10:22,134 --> 01:10:23,886
I don't know why
you'd give up what you want
1394
01:10:23,928 --> 01:10:25,763
because of some guy.
1395
01:10:27,806 --> 01:10:30,893
What did you think
was happening here?
1396
01:10:30,935 --> 01:10:33,229
Did you not think
it was going anywhere?
1397
01:10:33,270 --> 01:10:34,980
Well, yeah,
1398
01:10:35,022 --> 01:10:36,857
but I didn't think
you'd flush everything
1399
01:10:36,899 --> 01:10:38,692
just to hang out
with me.
1400
01:10:40,903 --> 01:10:42,279
He's fine.
1401
01:10:42,321 --> 01:10:44,406
Dale, maybe-- Okay--
1402
01:10:44,448 --> 01:10:46,575
maybe you don't
realize this,
1403
01:10:46,617 --> 01:10:50,412
but sometimes people
have to make sacrifices
1404
01:10:50,454 --> 01:10:52,539
so that they can be
with the people they love.
1405
01:10:52,581 --> 01:10:55,459
You love me?
1406
01:10:55,501 --> 01:10:57,127
Oh...
1407
01:10:57,169 --> 01:10:59,004
Did you hear that?
She said she loves me.
1408
01:10:59,046 --> 01:11:01,173
No, I didn't.
I was...
1409
01:11:01,215 --> 01:11:03,467
Speaking in
a hypothetical situation.
1410
01:11:03,509 --> 01:11:05,469
Holy shit, you love me!
1411
01:11:05,511 --> 01:11:07,471
Dale, stop it.
I di--
1412
01:11:07,513 --> 01:11:09,515
No, I may have thought
that I did,
1413
01:11:09,556 --> 01:11:12,768
but clearly
I was deluding myself
1414
01:11:12,810 --> 01:11:15,813
because how could I
possibly be in love
with someone
1415
01:11:15,854 --> 01:11:18,023
who has no concept
about what love is?
1416
01:11:18,065 --> 01:11:20,442
I don't know.
You're the one
who loves me.
1417
01:11:20,484 --> 01:11:22,486
Right.
You're a dick.
1418
01:11:22,528 --> 01:11:24,613
No, okay okay,
come here.
1419
01:11:27,116 --> 01:11:29,493
Let's just say,
all right, like
1420
01:11:29,535 --> 01:11:32,121
hypothetically,
1421
01:11:32,162 --> 01:11:34,707
that I feel
the same about you
1422
01:11:34,748 --> 01:11:38,335
even though
I have no concept
of what that means.
1423
01:11:40,546 --> 01:11:44,383
Are you saying
you love me?
1424
01:11:45,759 --> 01:11:49,096
- Yeah, I guess so.
- Well, then say it.
1425
01:11:49,138 --> 01:11:51,307
Right in front
of Mr. Reynolds?
1426
01:11:51,348 --> 01:11:52,891
- Okay--
- Okay.
1427
01:11:54,018 --> 01:11:55,769
I love you, okay?
1428
01:12:04,570 --> 01:12:07,364
Mike:
I don't know the medical term
for cabin fever,
1429
01:12:07,406 --> 01:12:09,366
but by the time
spring rolled around
1430
01:12:09,408 --> 01:12:11,493
we were all starting
to show symptoms.
1431
01:12:11,535 --> 01:12:12,244
Okay, all right,
all right.
1432
01:12:12,244 --> 01:12:16,373
Would you rather have sex
with Dr. Kipp or Dr. Olson?
1433
01:12:16,415 --> 01:12:18,500
- Dr. Kipp.
- Hmm.
1434
01:12:18,542 --> 01:12:20,377
- How about you?
- Oh, definitely Kipp.
1435
01:12:20,419 --> 01:12:22,713
Only because Olson would say
I'm doing it wrong.
1436
01:12:22,755 --> 01:12:24,340
What about you?
1437
01:12:24,381 --> 01:12:27,468
Well, if I was pitching,
probably Dr. Kipp,
1438
01:12:27,509 --> 01:12:29,219
and if I was catching,
Dr. Olson.
1439
01:12:29,261 --> 01:12:31,722
- Interesting.
- Okay, how about this?
1440
01:12:31,764 --> 01:12:34,183
Would you rather lick
Dr. Olson's ass
1441
01:12:34,224 --> 01:12:35,726
or eat broken glass?
1442
01:12:35,768 --> 01:12:38,228
How much glass?
1443
01:12:39,730 --> 01:12:41,273
I don't know,
like eight ounces.
1444
01:12:41,315 --> 01:12:43,442
Whoa whoa,
does she just have
to lick the cheek
1445
01:12:43,484 --> 01:12:45,110
or go all the way
inside?
1446
01:12:45,152 --> 01:12:47,613
No no no, she's gotta go
all the way inside--
toss salad.
1447
01:12:47,654 --> 01:12:49,573
- Oh, good call.
- Is it clean?
1448
01:12:49,615 --> 01:12:52,493
Well, it will be when
you're done, ass licker.
1449
01:12:52,534 --> 01:12:55,913
I hate to interrupt, but I've
got an 80-year-old man
1450
01:12:55,954 --> 01:12:58,457
with a really bad infection
in his ingrown toenail.
1451
01:12:58,499 --> 01:13:01,001
Who wants it?
1452
01:13:01,043 --> 01:13:03,504
It can't be any worse
than hanging out
with these guys.
1453
01:13:04,797 --> 01:13:07,091
- Good luck, Mira.
- See ya.
1454
01:13:09,343 --> 01:13:11,970
You son of a bitch.
Here's your five bucks.
1455
01:13:12,012 --> 01:13:14,431
I can't believe you made her
take three patients in a row.
1456
01:13:14,473 --> 01:13:17,726
- Psychology, Mike.
It's the hidden hand.
- Huh.
1457
01:13:17,768 --> 01:13:20,979
How come we gotta
take the organs to
pathology class?
1458
01:13:21,021 --> 01:13:23,941
Probably because you
made fun of Dr. Keller's
notation system.
1459
01:13:23,982 --> 01:13:26,860
I'm sorry, referring
to the atria as the a-hole
1460
01:13:26,902 --> 01:13:29,571
and then saying
the main vein pumps
into the a-hole.
1461
01:13:29,613 --> 01:13:32,408
- Come on.
- I don't understand why
women like that, you know?
1462
01:13:32,449 --> 01:13:35,786
Come on, man,
we don't need to hear about
your sex life, all right?
1463
01:13:35,828 --> 01:13:39,206
I probably didn't
need to say that.
1464
01:13:39,248 --> 01:13:41,542
Hey, are these human organs
we're getting?
1465
01:13:41,583 --> 01:13:44,086
- Yeah.
- Where do they get
these things from?
1466
01:13:44,128 --> 01:13:46,547
From all
the John and Jane Does
that come into St. Al's.
1467
01:13:46,588 --> 01:13:49,341
I thought they're supposed
to use that for organ donation.
1468
01:13:49,383 --> 01:13:52,386
No no no, by the time
the bodies get here
1469
01:13:52,428 --> 01:13:55,139
they've been dead so long
that the organs aren't
good anymore.
1470
01:13:55,180 --> 01:13:57,015
Hey, I found the stuff
we're looking for,
1471
01:13:57,057 --> 01:13:59,601
but we're gonna
need some sort of cart
to put this all on.
1472
01:13:59,643 --> 01:14:01,395
There's one right here.
Give me a hand,
1473
01:14:01,437 --> 01:14:03,188
- We'll move this guy.
- That's taken, man.
1474
01:14:03,230 --> 01:14:05,107
There's a body on there.
I ain't touching that.
1475
01:14:05,149 --> 01:14:06,817
Fine. Mike,
you help me.
Move his head.
1476
01:14:06,859 --> 01:14:08,861
Oh, jeez.
1477
01:14:08,902 --> 01:14:11,280
We can lean him up
against the wall over there.
1478
01:14:11,321 --> 01:14:13,490
This guy really stinks.
1479
01:14:13,532 --> 01:14:16,285
You know, that's wrong.
We should not be
moving that body.
1480
01:14:17,578 --> 01:14:19,455
Come on, guys.
Don't do that.
1481
01:14:19,496 --> 01:14:21,915
Put him back.
1482
01:14:21,957 --> 01:14:23,917
- Hey, Mike,
unlock that wheel.
- Yeah.
1483
01:14:23,959 --> 01:14:26,670
That's just wrong, man.
Don't you have any respect?
1484
01:14:26,712 --> 01:14:27,254
What do you care?
He's dead.
1485
01:14:27,296 --> 01:14:29,673
I care because every time
you mess around,
1486
01:14:29,715 --> 01:14:31,884
we end up having to take
a trip to cold storage
1487
01:14:31,925 --> 01:14:35,345
- To pick up some organs.
- So now I'm a bad influence
on you and Mike, am I?
1488
01:14:35,387 --> 01:14:37,764
I'm just saying, man,
you don't take anything
seriously, or try,
1489
01:14:37,806 --> 01:14:40,184
or care that some of us
have to work twice as hard.
1490
01:14:40,225 --> 01:14:42,394
Oh, which ones of us?
The black ones?
1491
01:14:42,436 --> 01:14:44,354
Yeah, that's right.
You don't seem to realize
1492
01:14:44,396 --> 01:14:45,898
how hard it is just to get
the same opportunities.
1493
01:14:45,939 --> 01:14:46,815
What opportunities
aren't you getting?
1494
01:14:46,815 --> 01:14:50,903
We're all in the same
lame-ass hospital doing
the same shitty work.
1495
01:14:50,944 --> 01:14:53,906
Work!
The only work you do
in this place
1496
01:14:53,947 --> 01:14:56,658
is try to hit on every woman
to see if you can get some.
1497
01:14:56,700 --> 01:14:58,660
I mean, first,
Mitzi blows you--
1498
01:15:01,538 --> 01:15:03,582
What?
1499
01:15:04,583 --> 01:15:06,710
Mitzi blew you?
1500
01:15:06,752 --> 01:15:08,629
Jesus, Marlon.
1501
01:15:08,670 --> 01:15:11,715
Listen, Mike, it happened
way before you guys
were going out.
1502
01:15:11,757 --> 01:15:13,800
Mike, man, I thought
Dale told you, that's all.
1503
01:15:13,842 --> 01:15:15,427
Marlon, you just
stay out of this!
1504
01:15:15,469 --> 01:15:18,138
Mike, she had sperm
in her mouth in lab class.
1505
01:15:18,180 --> 01:15:20,265
- What do you think happened?
- I don't know.
1506
01:15:20,307 --> 01:15:22,643
I'm a little surprised
you didn't tell me this, Dale.
1507
01:15:22,684 --> 01:15:24,436
Let's clean this stuff up
and go upstairs.
1508
01:15:24,478 --> 01:15:26,146
You want something
to clean up?
1509
01:15:26,188 --> 01:15:27,731
Here-- ugh--
1510
01:15:27,773 --> 01:15:29,191
clean this up!
1511
01:15:29,233 --> 01:15:30,859
Mike, chill out,
all right?
1512
01:15:30,901 --> 01:15:33,946
And you!
You are an asshole!
1513
01:15:34,905 --> 01:15:36,240
Now it's on!
1514
01:15:38,033 --> 01:15:40,369
Jesus, Mike,
what are you doing?
1515
01:15:42,329 --> 01:15:44,206
Yeah?
1516
01:15:46,667 --> 01:15:49,545
- Son of a bitch!
- Stop being an asshole!
1517
01:15:49,586 --> 01:15:51,588
You should have just
told him the truth.
1518
01:15:53,298 --> 01:15:54,841
Two against one!
1519
01:15:54,883 --> 01:15:56,760
You're with me, pal.
1520
01:16:05,185 --> 01:16:07,688
- You like that?
- It wouldn't have come as--
1521
01:16:19,700 --> 01:16:22,536
- ( body thuds )
- ( knock on door )
1522
01:16:23,495 --> 01:16:25,622
Come in, gentlemen.
1523
01:16:26,832 --> 01:16:28,584
Have a seat.
1524
01:16:33,380 --> 01:16:34,965
Dad?
1525
01:16:36,800 --> 01:16:38,844
Hi, Mike.
1526
01:16:38,885 --> 01:16:41,054
Go ahead.
Sit down, Mike.
1527
01:16:43,724 --> 01:16:48,103
The willful destruction
of human organs
1528
01:16:48,145 --> 01:16:52,608
by interns is very nearly
inconceivable to me.
1529
01:16:52,649 --> 01:16:55,068
The only appropriate
punishment is expulsion
1530
01:16:55,110 --> 01:16:56,570
from the internship
program.
1531
01:16:56,612 --> 01:16:58,614
- What?
- Whoa whoa whoa, sir,
1532
01:16:58,655 --> 01:17:01,241
if there's any damage
that we can pay for, we will.
1533
01:17:01,283 --> 01:17:04,494
Well, it's not the money.
These organs represent
valuable research tools
1534
01:17:04,536 --> 01:17:08,206
that were harvested
over 30 years from John
and Jane Doe cadavers.
1535
01:17:08,248 --> 01:17:09,750
Now they're gone.
1536
01:17:09,791 --> 01:17:11,627
Hey, what is he
doing here?
1537
01:17:11,668 --> 01:17:13,587
Huh?
1538
01:17:13,629 --> 01:17:16,840
Well, Mike,
obviously the--
1539
01:17:17,799 --> 01:17:19,676
I'll-- let me.
I'll talk.
1540
01:17:19,718 --> 01:17:23,096
Mike, I'm your father.
1541
01:17:23,138 --> 01:17:24,973
I'm here...
1542
01:17:25,015 --> 01:17:26,683
To talk...
1543
01:17:26,725 --> 01:17:29,353
To you about...
The consequence--
1544
01:17:29,394 --> 01:17:32,689
I'm sorry, I can't talk.
Very embarrassing.
1545
01:17:32,731 --> 01:17:35,859
I wonder if you would
give me a few seconds
to talk to my boy.
1546
01:17:35,901 --> 01:17:38,403
- Oh my god.
- Sure.
1547
01:17:38,445 --> 01:17:39,905
Yeah, no problem.
1548
01:17:39,946 --> 01:17:43,325
- I'll go out and have a...
- Not you, not you.
1549
01:17:43,367 --> 01:17:45,494
Stay here.
Stay.
1550
01:17:46,870 --> 01:17:48,914
I appreciate it.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
1551
01:17:50,749 --> 01:17:52,167
Hey hey.
1552
01:17:52,209 --> 01:17:53,543
This is all my fault,
Dr. Kipp.
1553
01:17:53,585 --> 01:17:55,337
I was the one that started
the whole thing.
1554
01:17:55,379 --> 01:17:57,589
Well, Mike, I respect
and understand the loyalty
1555
01:17:57,631 --> 01:17:58,882
you have
for your friends,
1556
01:17:58,924 --> 01:18:00,676
but I think you're making
a big mistake.
1557
01:18:00,717 --> 01:18:03,178
- Listen, Mike--
- No, what are you doing here?
1558
01:18:03,220 --> 01:18:04,846
- I'm not doing anything.
- Yes, you are.
1559
01:18:04,888 --> 01:18:06,723
- What did you say to him?
- I didn't say anything.
1560
01:18:06,765 --> 01:18:08,767
I'm just here because
I'm your father, okay?
1561
01:18:08,809 --> 01:18:10,644
- I'm a little upset.
- Yeah, I know that.
1562
01:18:10,686 --> 01:18:12,270
I'm upset, Mike!
1563
01:18:12,312 --> 01:18:15,565
What is that look?
You prefer I wasn't here?
1564
01:18:15,607 --> 01:18:17,359
Yes, I would prefer
that you're not here.
1565
01:18:17,401 --> 01:18:19,736
Maybe the two of you
would just like to sort
this out alone. Fine.
1566
01:18:19,778 --> 01:18:22,781
( door opens, shuts )
1567
01:18:23,949 --> 01:18:24,658
What's going on here?
1568
01:18:24,658 --> 01:18:28,036
Now you listen carefully.
You're going down for this--
1569
01:18:28,078 --> 01:18:30,997
all three of you!
And there's nothing
anybody can do about it,
1570
01:18:31,039 --> 01:18:32,958
- Including me.
- Look, things got
out of hand.
1571
01:18:32,999 --> 01:18:35,502
- Yeah, there was
a girl involved--
- I don't care about that.
1572
01:18:35,544 --> 01:18:37,504
You wanna sacrifice my son
along with yourselves?
1573
01:18:37,546 --> 01:18:39,798
Do it, do it.
Go ahead, I don't care.
It's your choice.
1574
01:18:39,840 --> 01:18:40,590
You can do
the right thing,
1575
01:18:40,632 --> 01:18:43,635
And you could
still have a career
in medicine after this.
1576
01:18:43,677 --> 01:18:46,304
A professional career.
I'm a powerful and
influential man.
1577
01:18:46,346 --> 01:18:48,515
You look in my eyes
and you'll see that
I can do it.
1578
01:18:48,557 --> 01:18:50,767
I can make it happen.
You understand me?
1579
01:18:50,809 --> 01:18:53,812
Mike, you gotta understand
what your dad's going through.
I mean,
1580
01:18:53,854 --> 01:18:55,897
parenting is a--
it's a--
1581
01:18:55,939 --> 01:18:58,024
it's a rough gig.
1582
01:18:58,066 --> 01:19:00,569
It's a responsibility
I never wanted.
1583
01:19:00,610 --> 01:19:02,738
That's why
I never got married.
1584
01:19:02,779 --> 01:19:05,949
I guess, to kind of avoid
episodes like this.
1585
01:19:05,991 --> 01:19:07,951
( knocks )
Kipp,
1586
01:19:07,993 --> 01:19:10,871
I believe these gentlemen
have something to say to you.
Gentlemen...
1587
01:19:13,749 --> 01:19:16,877
( sighs )
Mike had nothing to do with it.
It was just me and Marlon.
1588
01:19:16,918 --> 01:19:18,503
Yeah, it was
all our fault.
1589
01:19:18,545 --> 01:19:19,212
What are
you guys doing?
1590
01:19:19,254 --> 01:19:22,841
Well, it's regrettable
in the light of your potential
1591
01:19:22,883 --> 01:19:26,094
and the fact that we had
some good times, didn't we?
1592
01:19:26,136 --> 01:19:28,930
That's decent.
Very decent.
1593
01:19:29,931 --> 01:19:34,144
Hey. Look into
my eyes, little man.
1594
01:19:34,186 --> 01:19:36,980
Yeah, and you'll see
that we'll never accept
your offer.
1595
01:19:37,022 --> 01:19:40,400
- I don't know---
- 'Cause we might
never be doctors,
1596
01:19:40,442 --> 01:19:42,861
- but we'll
always be men.
- Good.
1597
01:19:42,903 --> 01:19:46,782
Yeah, proud,
unemployed...
1598
01:19:46,823 --> 01:19:49,576
Tall men.
1599
01:19:52,496 --> 01:19:53,997
- ( chuckles )
- No, guys.
1600
01:19:54,039 --> 01:19:55,499
You guys do not
have to do this.
1601
01:19:55,540 --> 01:19:57,584
Sorry, I've got
this whole thing
under control.
1602
01:19:59,211 --> 01:20:02,005
Listen, Marlon, Dale,
you are not taking
the fall for this.
1603
01:20:02,047 --> 01:20:04,466
There's no point in all of us
getting kicked out, Mike.
1604
01:20:04,508 --> 01:20:07,385
- Look, I can fix this--
- Hey, don't blow this.
1605
01:20:07,427 --> 01:20:08,887
I don't know what
you did in there--
1606
01:20:08,929 --> 01:20:10,555
what I did in there
was I saved your ass.
1607
01:20:10,597 --> 01:20:12,432
How? By buying people off
as you always do?
1608
01:20:12,474 --> 01:20:14,851
I would do worse than that.
I would do way worse than that
1609
01:20:14,893 --> 01:20:16,978
to make sure this was okay.
I'm your father, I love you.
1610
01:20:17,020 --> 01:20:19,022
I would do anything--
anything at all
1611
01:20:19,064 --> 01:20:21,358
to make sure that you
become a doctor.
1612
01:20:21,399 --> 01:20:23,819
You know what?
1613
01:20:23,860 --> 01:20:26,238
You have really
helped me out here.
1614
01:20:26,279 --> 01:20:28,740
Because I didn't know
what I wanted to do
with my life.
1615
01:20:28,782 --> 01:20:30,909
But thanks to your
little ridiculous show,
1616
01:20:30,951 --> 01:20:33,662
yeah, it has made
a few things very clear.
1617
01:20:33,703 --> 01:20:36,748
Mike, listen listen.
Mike--
1618
01:20:37,874 --> 01:20:39,626
Dr. Kipp, I quit.
1619
01:20:39,668 --> 01:20:42,128
- What?
- Yeah, and I just
wanted you to know.
1620
01:20:45,507 --> 01:20:47,175
Well, you're not
getting this check back.
1621
01:20:47,217 --> 01:20:48,927
The sale of those
x-ray machines is final.
1622
01:20:48,969 --> 01:20:53,473
It's a check.
I just have to stop
payment, you moron.
1623
01:20:53,515 --> 01:20:56,059
Is there no honor
in the world anymore?
1624
01:20:56,977 --> 01:20:58,854
They can't kick you out
for that.
1625
01:20:58,895 --> 01:21:00,480
Can't you guys appeal?
1626
01:21:00,522 --> 01:21:02,816
Dr. Kipp is the final court
of appeal.
1627
01:21:02,858 --> 01:21:05,902
Hey. Hi.
1628
01:21:06,945 --> 01:21:08,697
I just quit.
1629
01:21:08,738 --> 01:21:10,866
- You quit?
- Yeah.
1630
01:21:10,907 --> 01:21:14,536
I-- I was just
listening to my dad
1631
01:21:14,578 --> 01:21:17,998
and I wasn't even
sure if I wanted to
do any of this,
1632
01:21:18,039 --> 01:21:20,750
and I-I quit.
I just quit.
1633
01:21:20,792 --> 01:21:22,210
Your dad covered
for you nicely.
1634
01:21:22,252 --> 01:21:23,753
I wish my dad would
do that for me.
1635
01:21:23,795 --> 01:21:25,964
No no no, you don't.
1636
01:21:26,006 --> 01:21:29,926
You're right.
Your dad is a douche bag.
1637
01:21:29,968 --> 01:21:33,680
So what do you wanna do first?
Go get drunk or register
for welfare?
1638
01:21:33,722 --> 01:21:36,933
Um, what about
getting laid?
1639
01:21:38,143 --> 01:21:39,978
I'll take all three of you
on right now.
1640
01:21:40,020 --> 01:21:42,230
- What?
- All right, you too.
1641
01:21:42,272 --> 01:21:45,191
But that's it,
four is my limit.
1642
01:21:45,233 --> 01:21:47,402
Jesus, Mitzi!
What?
1643
01:21:47,444 --> 01:21:50,071
I'm kidding!
Jeez!
1644
01:21:50,113 --> 01:21:52,699
I don't know why you guys
are being so serious.
1645
01:21:52,741 --> 01:21:55,035
Okay, the three of you
got kicked out.
Big deal.
1646
01:21:55,076 --> 01:21:57,537
Actually, I guess...
1647
01:21:58,955 --> 01:22:01,166
It is a lot of money
to get this far.
1648
01:22:01,207 --> 01:22:03,710
And six years of your life
is a long time,
1649
01:22:03,752 --> 01:22:06,755
so I guess
it is a big deal.
1650
01:22:06,796 --> 01:22:10,258
I'm sorry, I didn't--
I didn't really think
that through.
1651
01:22:10,300 --> 01:22:12,510
Thanks for joining
the party, Mitzi.
1652
01:22:12,552 --> 01:22:14,095
Hey, I need you guys
in E.R.
1653
01:22:14,137 --> 01:22:16,014
There's a 76-car pileup,
freeway's closed.
1654
01:22:16,056 --> 01:22:18,183
No other doctors can get here.
Let's move, go.
1655
01:22:30,028 --> 01:22:32,948
Please please,
somebody's gotta help me!
1656
01:22:32,989 --> 01:22:34,699
My son is unconscious
and he's not moving.
1657
01:22:34,741 --> 01:22:36,451
- Where's your kid?
- He's over here.
1658
01:22:36,493 --> 01:22:38,787
Okay, everybody, calm down.
Calm down.
1659
01:22:38,828 --> 01:22:40,830
I cannot have people
running all over the place.
1660
01:22:40,872 --> 01:22:42,540
I'm gonna set up
a triage system here.
1661
01:22:42,582 --> 01:22:44,960
Please take a seat.
We'll get to you as soon
as we can. What?
1662
01:22:45,001 --> 01:22:47,128
We've already had two
stat patients we sent
to the O.R.
1663
01:22:47,170 --> 01:22:49,130
Dr. Olson went with them.
We only have one
anesthesiologist.
1664
01:22:49,172 --> 01:22:52,467
It's okay. Mike,
Marlon, Dale, go up
to O.R. Help Dr. Olson.
1665
01:22:52,509 --> 01:22:54,594
Sarah, go with them too.
They're gonna need extra nurses.
1666
01:22:54,636 --> 01:22:57,138
This kid has a pulse
of 118, b.p. 60/40,
1667
01:22:57,180 --> 01:22:57,722
and a six-inch gash
over his head.
1668
01:22:57,764 --> 01:23:00,183
Possible skull fracture,
maybe a subdural.
1669
01:23:00,225 --> 01:23:02,185
Get him up to O.R.
Christine, Mitzi, stay with me.
1670
01:23:02,227 --> 01:23:03,395
I'm gonna need doctors
down here.
1671
01:23:03,436 --> 01:23:05,021
- Take her.
- No!
1672
01:23:05,063 --> 01:23:07,023
- Somebody help me
with this gurney!
- Got it.
1673
01:23:08,274 --> 01:23:09,609
Easy easy.
1674
01:23:09,651 --> 01:23:12,612
Okay, you guys.
Come on, move it.
Let's go!
1675
01:23:14,030 --> 01:23:17,450
- Marlon, how's he doing?
- I lost his pulse.
1676
01:23:17,492 --> 01:23:18,994
- What?!
- I got it.
1677
01:23:19,035 --> 01:23:21,037
Let's go.
Let's get him in the O.R.
1678
01:23:21,079 --> 01:23:24,124
- One, two,
three, four, five...
- Come on, let's do it!
1679
01:23:24,165 --> 01:23:27,752
- Keep breathing!
- Somebody get the door.
1680
01:23:27,794 --> 01:23:30,839
No pulse yet.
Come on, Mira,
let's do it.
1681
01:23:30,880 --> 01:23:33,008
- One, two, three, four, five.
- Keep on it!
1682
01:23:33,049 --> 01:23:36,094
One, two, three,
four, five.
1683
01:23:37,721 --> 01:23:40,223
- One, two, three,
four, five.
- Got it?
1684
01:23:40,265 --> 01:23:42,934
- Easy, guys.
- Get the hell outta here!
1685
01:23:42,976 --> 01:23:44,769
This kid coded
getting off the elevator.
1686
01:23:44,811 --> 01:23:47,188
- I got a pulse.
- His abdominal tap
is positive.
1687
01:23:47,230 --> 01:23:49,399
You and you,
you're with me.
1688
01:23:49,441 --> 01:23:52,569
The rest of you,
take that kid into O.R. two
and do what you can for him.
1689
01:23:52,610 --> 01:23:54,738
What are you waiting for?
Go go go!
1690
01:24:01,870 --> 01:24:04,247
Okay, let's get him
on the table.
1691
01:24:06,124 --> 01:24:08,376
- Okay, ready?
- Yeah yeah.
1692
01:24:08,418 --> 01:24:11,046
On three--
one, two, three.
1693
01:24:13,548 --> 01:24:15,133
Thank you.
1694
01:24:15,175 --> 01:24:17,218
Let's get him hooked up
to an e.k.g.
1695
01:24:18,178 --> 01:24:20,221
- Okay.
- White is right.
1696
01:24:20,263 --> 01:24:21,931
What about black?
Black is beautiful.
1697
01:24:21,973 --> 01:24:23,308
We'll talk about this
later.
1698
01:24:23,349 --> 01:24:25,393
All right,
we'll go scrub up.
1699
01:24:25,435 --> 01:24:27,312
- Okay, bag him.
- Yup yup.
1700
01:24:28,563 --> 01:24:30,815
Start prepping.
Are you getting set up?
1701
01:24:32,317 --> 01:24:34,569
We need the anesthesiologist
in here right away!
1702
01:24:34,611 --> 01:24:36,905
All right, go in
and start 'em,
but come back.
1703
01:24:36,946 --> 01:24:38,656
B.P. 60/40
and falling.
1704
01:24:38,698 --> 01:24:40,617
All right, back on him
and more volume.
1705
01:24:40,658 --> 01:24:42,619
Okay, come on,
will you?
1706
01:24:42,660 --> 01:24:44,704
We've got to find out
where this bleeding is
coming from.
1707
01:24:44,746 --> 01:24:47,582
Looks like it's at the apex
of the pulmonary artery.
1708
01:24:47,624 --> 01:24:49,542
Oh yeah.
1709
01:24:49,584 --> 01:24:52,754
Very good, Mr. Dodd.
Clamp that, Mr. Bonnert.
Clamp it.
1710
01:24:52,796 --> 01:24:54,130
Thanks.
I think you did it.
1711
01:24:54,172 --> 01:24:56,758
Very nice.
1712
01:24:56,800 --> 01:24:58,343
Very nice.
1713
01:24:59,928 --> 01:25:01,346
He stopped breathing.
1714
01:25:02,680 --> 01:25:05,934
There, he's breathing again.
1715
01:25:05,975 --> 01:25:08,269
You can thank Dr. Kipp
for the machines around here.
1716
01:25:08,311 --> 01:25:10,271
He's always been
really nice to me.
1717
01:25:10,313 --> 01:25:12,565
So where do
you guys wanna start?
Head or the abdomen?
1718
01:25:12,607 --> 01:25:14,025
- Abdomen.
- Head.
1719
01:25:14,067 --> 01:25:16,027
- Abdomen.
- Head. Marlon,
1720
01:25:16,069 --> 01:25:18,196
you take the abdomen
and I'll take the head.
1721
01:25:18,238 --> 01:25:19,989
Fine.
1722
01:25:20,031 --> 01:25:22,784
All right, close him up
and get him down
to recovery.
1723
01:25:22,826 --> 01:25:26,329
Then go downstairs to see
if there are any more
candidates for surgery.
1724
01:25:26,371 --> 01:25:28,873
I'm gonna go next door
to O.R. two
1725
01:25:28,915 --> 01:25:30,917
to see if I can be
of any help there.
1726
01:25:33,336 --> 01:25:35,588
Thank you, Terry.
Okay, what have we got here?
1727
01:25:35,630 --> 01:25:38,007
I was gonna do an x-ray
to check for a subdural.
1728
01:25:38,049 --> 01:25:40,176
All right, good,
and what's this?
1729
01:25:40,218 --> 01:25:43,638
Ruptured spleen--
managed to stop the bleeding,
about to take it out.
1730
01:25:43,680 --> 01:25:45,348
So let's see.
1731
01:25:45,390 --> 01:25:49,310
We have no x-rays,
but we have cat scans.
1732
01:25:49,352 --> 01:25:51,354
Interesting.
1733
01:25:51,396 --> 01:25:54,149
And I see
from these cat scans
1734
01:25:54,190 --> 01:25:57,026
that he also has a brain tumor
and he's 65 years old.
1735
01:25:57,068 --> 01:26:00,071
All right, get these outta here.
They belong to somebody else.
1736
01:26:00,113 --> 01:26:02,824
Okay, let's take
some pictures of this kid
1737
01:26:02,866 --> 01:26:04,200
and see what we got.
1738
01:26:04,242 --> 01:26:06,119
Anyone who wants
to have babies,
1739
01:26:06,161 --> 01:26:07,579
going on alert,
behind the screens.
1740
01:26:07,620 --> 01:26:10,039
Let's go.
Marlon, you too.
Come on, move it.
1741
01:26:14,210 --> 01:26:16,212
Anybody?
Lots of internal injuries,
1742
01:26:16,254 --> 01:26:18,214
spinal precautions.
Mitzi, go take care of it.
1743
01:26:18,256 --> 01:26:19,674
Got anyone else
for surgery?
1744
01:26:19,716 --> 01:26:21,426
Yes, compound fracture,
major bleeding,
1745
01:26:21,467 --> 01:26:23,303
tied up, but he's
gonna lose his leg...
1746
01:26:23,344 --> 01:26:25,054
Lose his leg?
You gotta save his leg!
1747
01:26:25,096 --> 01:26:27,056
- Calm down.
- He's a football player!
1748
01:26:27,098 --> 01:26:29,184
He'll be fine.
He'll be fine.
1749
01:26:31,227 --> 01:26:34,022
So all you gotta do
is ask your father.
1750
01:26:34,063 --> 01:26:35,607
Holy Moses!
1751
01:26:35,648 --> 01:26:38,651
- What the hell happened here?
- It's a 76-car pileup, sir.
1752
01:26:38,693 --> 01:26:41,237
Why are they bringing
them here? Why can't they
bring them to General?
1753
01:26:41,279 --> 01:26:43,990
It's a good thing you're here.
We need all the doctors
we can get.
1754
01:26:44,032 --> 01:26:46,242
I'm not a doctor.
1755
01:26:46,284 --> 01:26:48,620
What are you talking about?
You're Dr. Cyril Kipp.
1756
01:26:48,661 --> 01:26:51,539
Well, I'm a doctor like
Dr. Phil's a doctor,
for christ's sake.
1757
01:26:51,581 --> 01:26:54,125
I have a PhD
in hospital administration.
1758
01:26:54,167 --> 01:26:57,212
I hired half of you,
so I know you'll do
a good job.
1759
01:26:57,253 --> 01:27:00,256
Carry on, fellas.
Carol.
1760
01:27:03,343 --> 01:27:06,221
Dr. Phil's not
a real doctor?
1761
01:27:07,430 --> 01:27:08,932
It's what we thought.
1762
01:27:08,973 --> 01:27:10,808
Ma'am, you've got
a pneumothorax.
1763
01:27:10,850 --> 01:27:13,561
Can you give that
to me in English?
1764
01:27:13,603 --> 01:27:15,438
A collapsed lung.
1765
01:27:15,480 --> 01:27:17,523
Am I gonna die?
1766
01:27:17,565 --> 01:27:19,692
Well, there is a 7.5% chance
of all cases
1767
01:27:19,734 --> 01:27:21,945
of a pneumothorax
that you will die.
1768
01:27:21,986 --> 01:27:23,988
No, you're not gonna die.
It's a minor procedure,
1769
01:27:24,030 --> 01:27:25,365
we can do that
right here in E.R.
1770
01:27:25,406 --> 01:27:26,199
Did somebody
say pneumothorax?
1771
01:27:26,199 --> 01:27:29,202
I got a head wound
out here scaring the shit
out of patients.
1772
01:27:29,244 --> 01:27:31,454
I need somebody
to stitch him up.
Now.
1773
01:27:31,496 --> 01:27:33,623
Okay, you do the chest tube,
I'll do the bleeder.
1774
01:27:33,665 --> 01:27:35,250
You're gonna be fine.
1775
01:27:37,252 --> 01:27:39,963
- I'll retract and cauterize,
you cut, okay?
- good call.
1776
01:27:40,004 --> 01:27:42,632
- What are his vitals?
- Pressure's up and I've given
him two liters.
1777
01:27:42,674 --> 01:27:43,883
Okay, good stuff.
1778
01:27:43,925 --> 01:27:46,052
- Whoa, this looks ugly.
- Ouch.
1779
01:27:46,094 --> 01:27:48,596
- Don't puke in his leg.
- Very funny.
1780
01:27:50,265 --> 01:27:52,433
I think when that bone
cut the artery it must
have snapped
1781
01:27:52,475 --> 01:27:54,602
right up the leg.
That's why they had to
belt it so high.
1782
01:27:54,644 --> 01:27:56,604
We've got to find it.
Give me more exposure.
1783
01:27:56,646 --> 01:27:59,357
- Shit! The belt.
- give me a clamp.
1784
01:27:59,399 --> 01:28:02,068
- give me some sponges.
- Here. Here here.
1785
01:28:02,110 --> 01:28:04,320
- Clamp.
Hold on, here we go.
- All right, I got it.
1786
01:28:04,362 --> 01:28:07,407
Get the other end,
and then we can sew
them together.
1787
01:28:07,448 --> 01:28:10,159
Do you know how
to sew it together?
1788
01:28:10,201 --> 01:28:11,953
No.
1789
01:28:11,995 --> 01:28:13,663
Get Christine up here
right away.
1790
01:28:13,705 --> 01:28:15,290
- Yeah.
- Okay.
1791
01:28:15,331 --> 01:28:16,916
- Sure you got it?
- Yeah yeah.
1792
01:28:21,754 --> 01:28:24,966
- Dale?
- Yeah?
1793
01:28:25,008 --> 01:28:27,802
I really wanna put some closure
on this whole Mitzi thing.
1794
01:28:27,844 --> 01:28:30,305
Yeah, okay, fine.
1795
01:28:30,346 --> 01:28:33,433
The best way to do that
would be for me and you
to pray together.
1796
01:28:33,474 --> 01:28:36,477
( chuckles )
You're kidding me, right?
1797
01:28:36,519 --> 01:28:38,438
Give me
your free hand, Dale.
1798
01:28:38,479 --> 01:28:41,316
Mike, I'm not
gonna pray with you.
1799
01:28:41,357 --> 01:28:43,484
Dale, give me
your free hand!
1800
01:28:45,236 --> 01:28:47,196
Jesus Christ.
1801
01:28:51,409 --> 01:28:54,037
Dear God,
1802
01:28:54,078 --> 01:28:57,373
don't let Mitzi suck
on Dale's dick anymore.
1803
01:28:59,834 --> 01:29:01,961
Amen.
1804
01:29:03,046 --> 01:29:05,506
Amen.
1805
01:29:10,345 --> 01:29:12,263
Holy shit,
he was a Sonny Bono?
1806
01:29:12,305 --> 01:29:13,556
Guy swerves
to avoid the pileup,
1807
01:29:13,598 --> 01:29:15,433
head-ons a family
coming back from vacation.
1808
01:29:15,475 --> 01:29:17,560
The poles were
on the roof rack.
1809
01:29:17,602 --> 01:29:18,519
- Still ticking.
- But his b.p.'s falling
steadily.
1810
01:29:18,561 --> 01:29:22,482
Not much blood on
the outside so he must be
leaking pretty good inside.
1811
01:29:22,523 --> 01:29:24,192
Another ambulance just
arrived with a critical.
1812
01:29:24,233 --> 01:29:26,444
Holy crap!
Has he still got a pulse?
1813
01:29:26,486 --> 01:29:27,779
- Yeah.
- Get him up to O.R.
1814
01:29:27,820 --> 01:29:29,989
I'll see what we've got
in the other ambulance.
1815
01:29:30,031 --> 01:29:32,408
- I'll be up after that.
- I got it. I got it.
1816
01:29:36,371 --> 01:29:39,040
Hey, they need you
up in O.R. right away.
1817
01:29:39,082 --> 01:29:41,793
- What's up?
- You know how to stitch up
a severed artery?
1818
01:29:41,834 --> 01:29:43,669
Absolutely I do.
1819
01:29:43,711 --> 01:29:45,922
All right, sir,
you're all set.
1820
01:29:45,963 --> 01:29:48,216
A nurse will be by
to discharge you, okay?
1821
01:29:48,257 --> 01:29:50,385
Will I ever
see you again?
1822
01:29:53,763 --> 01:29:56,057
( pole clangs )
1823
01:29:56,099 --> 01:29:58,893
- Oh...
- let's try not to kill
this guy just yet.
1824
01:29:58,935 --> 01:30:00,686
We still have
a pulse.
1825
01:30:03,272 --> 01:30:05,525
Okay okay, we'll get him
on the table.
1826
01:30:05,566 --> 01:30:07,568
You two, go.
Scrub up.
1827
01:30:09,654 --> 01:30:11,697
- ( siren wails )
- ( tires screech )
1828
01:30:11,739 --> 01:30:14,409
- ( vehicle crashes )
- ( horn honking )
1829
01:30:15,493 --> 01:30:17,537
Jesus!
1830
01:30:21,457 --> 01:30:24,627
- Holy shit!
- Oh my god.
1831
01:30:24,669 --> 01:30:27,630
Where's Christine?
We need her to sew
this artery.
1832
01:30:27,672 --> 01:30:30,550
I don't know about Christine,
but Dr. Olson's on his way up.
Maybe he can help you.
1833
01:30:30,591 --> 01:30:32,385
We got a guy with a ski pole
in his heart, man!
1834
01:30:32,427 --> 01:30:34,303
That's why I snowboard,
dude.
1835
01:30:36,722 --> 01:30:39,350
- What the hell are you doing?
- Get him outta here!
1836
01:30:39,392 --> 01:30:41,144
- It's Dr. Olson.
- Where's Dr. Olson?
1837
01:30:41,185 --> 01:30:42,770
- He supposed to help me.
- Right here.
1838
01:30:42,812 --> 01:30:44,439
He got hit by a car
in the ambulance bay.
1839
01:30:44,480 --> 01:30:46,441
- He's got internal injuries.
- What?
1840
01:30:48,943 --> 01:30:50,528
Can you hold this, please?
1841
01:30:50,570 --> 01:30:53,781
All right, listen.
He's not the only
patient in here.
1842
01:30:53,823 --> 01:30:55,700
Christine, would you fix
this artery, please?
1843
01:30:55,741 --> 01:30:57,285
Mitzi, why don't you
give her a hand?
1844
01:30:57,326 --> 01:31:00,163
Mira, you're
the cardiac surgeon.
Go work on ski-pole guy.
1845
01:31:00,204 --> 01:31:01,789
- Marlon, get us some coffee.
- What?
1846
01:31:01,831 --> 01:31:03,458
I'm kidding, man.
Go help her.
1847
01:31:05,585 --> 01:31:07,670
Well, come on, people,
let's go!
1848
01:31:07,712 --> 01:31:10,256
Moving on,
let's go!
1849
01:31:10,298 --> 01:31:13,634
- Come on, Mike,
let's go scrub up.
- Hmm.
1850
01:31:22,685 --> 01:31:24,937
- Suction right there.
- All right, what's going on?
1851
01:31:24,979 --> 01:31:27,398
I had several pages
about a heart procedure.
1852
01:31:27,440 --> 01:31:30,359
We had a cardiac tamponade,
drained it, patched up
the hole in the atrium--
1853
01:31:30,401 --> 01:31:31,944
Step aside.
1854
01:31:31,986 --> 01:31:33,905
- We had to--
- Shh.
1855
01:31:33,946 --> 01:31:36,449
All right,
who worked on this man?
1856
01:31:36,491 --> 01:31:38,451
- I did. Well...
- Both: We did.
1857
01:31:38,493 --> 01:31:41,871
What the hell is
going on here?
1858
01:31:41,913 --> 01:31:44,624
We've got interns
doing open-heart surgery?
1859
01:31:44,665 --> 01:31:46,667
Who authorized this?
1860
01:31:46,709 --> 01:31:48,669
- ( high-pitched ) I did.
- Who said that?
1861
01:31:48,711 --> 01:31:51,130
Dr. Olson, sir.
1862
01:31:51,172 --> 01:31:53,424
Dr. Olson, you should
probably quiet down.
1863
01:31:53,466 --> 01:31:55,051
You really need to
save your strength.
1864
01:31:55,092 --> 01:31:57,345
Okay, doc.
1865
01:31:58,679 --> 01:32:01,724
All right,
what are you idiots doing?
1866
01:32:01,766 --> 01:32:03,684
There are two patients
in that operating room.
1867
01:32:03,726 --> 01:32:05,478
That is strictly
against procedure.
1868
01:32:05,520 --> 01:32:07,605
And where are all
the real doctors?
1869
01:32:09,065 --> 01:32:12,318
Fuck you!
It's been a goddamn
war zone in here,
1870
01:32:12,360 --> 01:32:14,737
and you come walking in
at the last minute
1871
01:32:14,779 --> 01:32:16,656
spewing off
hospital procedures!
1872
01:32:16,697 --> 01:32:19,742
Where were you when
we were saving lives?
Playing squash?
1873
01:32:19,784 --> 01:32:21,536
Now why don't you
make yourself useful?
1874
01:32:21,577 --> 01:32:24,830
Scrub up, close up
this man's chest while
we clean up.
1875
01:32:24,872 --> 01:32:29,335
Why you arrogant
little bitch!
1876
01:32:29,377 --> 01:32:31,671
Oh-oh-oh-oh!
1877
01:32:31,712 --> 01:32:33,214
- You want to go?
- Yeah.
1878
01:32:33,256 --> 01:32:34,757
You want a piece of this?
Okay, come on.
1879
01:32:34,799 --> 01:32:36,551
Come on-- Oh.
1880
01:32:46,185 --> 01:32:47,937
Oh my god!
1881
01:32:47,979 --> 01:32:50,231
Who do you think
you are?
1882
01:32:50,273 --> 01:32:52,858
Dr. Mira Towers,
cardiac surgeon!
1883
01:32:52,900 --> 01:32:56,237
You can't be
a cardiac surgeon
if you're dead!
1884
01:32:56,279 --> 01:32:58,739
Not if you're dead!
1885
01:32:58,781 --> 01:33:00,908
Not if you're dead!
1886
01:33:00,950 --> 01:33:02,201
Hold him!
1887
01:33:07,665 --> 01:33:09,333
Stop them!
Get them apart.
1888
01:33:10,293 --> 01:33:11,669
Christine:
oh my god!
1889
01:33:13,296 --> 01:33:15,381
Hold her!
1890
01:33:15,423 --> 01:33:16,799
Keep them apart!
1891
01:33:18,593 --> 01:33:20,511
♪ True love... ♪
1892
01:33:20,553 --> 01:33:23,014
- Dale: oh, god!
- Ew...
1893
01:33:23,055 --> 01:33:27,810
- ( groans )
- ♪ It's no ordinary love... ♪
1894
01:33:27,852 --> 01:33:31,647
Okay, show's over.
1895
01:33:33,065 --> 01:33:35,443
♪ It's not pretend ♪
1896
01:33:35,484 --> 01:33:39,697
- ♪ And it's really
really real ♪
- Sorry.
1897
01:33:39,739 --> 01:33:44,869
- ♪ Almost as real
as it's true... ♪
- Mitzi.
1898
01:33:44,910 --> 01:33:48,414
♪ True love. ♪
1899
01:33:50,666 --> 01:33:53,002
This is a wonderful
occasion for us all.
1900
01:33:53,044 --> 01:33:55,338
Because thanks
to the courageous work
1901
01:33:55,379 --> 01:33:57,632
of this particular
group of interns,
1902
01:33:57,673 --> 01:34:01,719
we may be able
to keep our doors open
a little longer.
1903
01:34:01,761 --> 01:34:03,638
( applause )
1904
01:34:03,679 --> 01:34:06,432
One of the accident victims
in the big pileup,
1905
01:34:06,474 --> 01:34:08,726
the guy with the ski pole
in his chest,
1906
01:34:08,768 --> 01:34:11,103
turned out to be
a billionaire.
1907
01:34:11,145 --> 01:34:13,397
And he made a large donation
to this hospital,
1908
01:34:13,439 --> 01:34:17,068
which will enable us
to open D wing again
1909
01:34:17,109 --> 01:34:19,362
and fill it
with brand-new equipment.
1910
01:34:20,363 --> 01:34:22,865
So, let's say goodbye
1911
01:34:22,907 --> 01:34:24,950
to St. Albert's hospital
1912
01:34:24,992 --> 01:34:29,080
and say hello
to Microtek
1913
01:34:29,121 --> 01:34:32,083
General Hospital,
a division of Unicom
International.
1914
01:34:39,048 --> 01:34:41,550
That Dr. Kipp sure
knows how to put a bow
1915
01:34:41,592 --> 01:34:43,386
on a story,
doesn't he?
1916
01:34:43,427 --> 01:34:45,680
Yeah. Dr, Olson,
1917
01:34:45,721 --> 01:34:47,932
I was wondering if you had
any recollection
1918
01:34:47,973 --> 01:34:50,393
of being unconscious
in that ambulance bay
1919
01:34:50,434 --> 01:34:52,311
after you got hit
by that car.
1920
01:34:52,353 --> 01:34:54,605
How could I?
I was unconscious.
1921
01:34:55,940 --> 01:34:58,401
It's just that when I was
giving you mouth-to-mouth,
1922
01:34:58,442 --> 01:35:00,820
I could have sworn
you slipped me the tongue.
1923
01:35:02,780 --> 01:35:05,866
That was probably some kind
of involuntary muscle spasm.
1924
01:35:07,410 --> 01:35:10,788
If you ever feel
one of those spasms
coming on again,
1925
01:35:10,830 --> 01:35:13,207
I'm here for you.
1926
01:35:16,001 --> 01:35:18,170
That's good to know.
1927
01:35:19,880 --> 01:35:22,049
All right, Whitecoats,
the party's over.
Come on.
1928
01:35:22,091 --> 01:35:23,759
Moving on.
1929
01:35:23,801 --> 01:35:26,512
You'll spend the third year
of your clinical internship
1930
01:35:26,554 --> 01:35:28,764
at St. Al's
rotating in intervals
1931
01:35:28,806 --> 01:35:32,101
starting here in the E.R.,
then onto general surgery...
1932
01:35:32,143 --> 01:35:34,687
Mike:
So we all graduated,
1933
01:35:34,729 --> 01:35:36,814
and a new group of interns
took our place.
1934
01:35:36,856 --> 01:35:39,734
I don't know
what happened to them,
and I really don't care.
1935
01:35:39,775 --> 01:35:43,821
They're nowhere near
as good-looking as our group,
especially the girls.
1936
01:35:43,863 --> 01:35:45,489
Oh, outtakes!
1937
01:35:45,531 --> 01:35:47,158
I love outtakes.
1938
01:35:47,199 --> 01:35:49,285
- ( all laughing )
- All right, I'm okay.
1939
01:35:49,326 --> 01:35:51,078
I'm fine.
1940
01:35:52,121 --> 01:35:53,748
It's a miracle!
1941
01:35:53,789 --> 01:35:55,291
I don't want them
cutting me up.
1942
01:35:55,332 --> 01:35:57,334
I'm a doctor.
1943
01:35:58,544 --> 01:36:01,464
Oh hi, Sarah.
What's going on?
1944
01:36:01,505 --> 01:36:04,508
Gina, pulling kind
of a long shaft-- Shift.
1945
01:36:04,550 --> 01:36:06,594
( crew laughing )
1946
01:36:07,636 --> 01:36:09,764
Stay right here,
1947
01:36:09,805 --> 01:36:11,891
your stankin' ass.
1948
01:36:15,019 --> 01:36:16,937
Hi.
1949
01:36:21,317 --> 01:36:23,110
( laughing )
1950
01:36:23,152 --> 01:36:25,821
I've been shit on.
This is corn relish.
1951
01:36:27,698 --> 01:36:29,325
- Very spicy.
- ( crew laughing )
1952
01:36:29,366 --> 01:36:30,868
Very spicy.
1953
01:36:30,910 --> 01:36:33,120
This is not my shit!
1954
01:36:33,162 --> 01:36:35,998
Someone else
just shit on me.
1955
01:36:36,957 --> 01:36:38,125
Just looking
for a little help.
1956
01:36:38,167 --> 01:36:39,877
Maybe a mop,
some hot water and rags.
1957
01:36:39,919 --> 01:36:42,755
Oh god, no!
You can't let them
see me like this!
1958
01:36:44,131 --> 01:36:46,091
Please!
1959
01:36:46,133 --> 01:36:48,469
- Oh god.
- It's my ass!
1960
01:36:48,511 --> 01:36:49,303
I've got eight trustees
on this board
1961
01:36:49,303 --> 01:36:52,848
who would love to sell
this hospital tomorrow
for real estate.
1962
01:36:52,890 --> 01:36:54,642
( barks )
1963
01:36:56,143 --> 01:36:58,187
( laughs )
I'm sorry.
1964
01:36:58,229 --> 01:37:00,856
( crew laughing )
1965
01:37:00,898 --> 01:37:03,567
Man:
It looked good, though.
Cut cut cut.
1966
01:37:03,609 --> 01:37:05,236
Okay, let's
try it again.
1967
01:37:05,277 --> 01:37:09,657
It's just that when I was
giving you mouth-to-mouth,
1968
01:37:09,698 --> 01:37:11,951
I thought that you
slipped me the tongue.
1969
01:37:13,077 --> 01:37:16,705
Oh well, that was
probably just
1970
01:37:16,747 --> 01:37:18,541
an involuntary
muscle spasm.
1971
01:37:18,582 --> 01:37:20,751
How do you explain
that large hard-on then?
1972
01:37:20,793 --> 01:37:24,630
Never mind.
Um, I just wanted
to let you know
1973
01:37:24,672 --> 01:37:26,549
that if you have
one of those spasms again
1974
01:37:26,590 --> 01:37:28,926
- I'm here for you.
- Okay.
1975
01:37:28,968 --> 01:37:31,053
Have to change
my pants!
1976
01:37:31,095 --> 01:37:34,890
Hold on a second.
Does she just have to kinda
lick the cheek a little,
1977
01:37:34,932 --> 01:37:36,308
like...
( pants )
1978
01:37:36,350 --> 01:37:40,062
or kind of go
all the way...
Inside?
1979
01:37:40,104 --> 01:37:42,940
Man:
Hey, danny,
cover up those nips.
1980
01:37:44,817 --> 01:37:46,777
No no,
not hers, yours.
1981
01:37:49,113 --> 01:37:51,323
That could just be fart,
I'm not sure.
1982
01:37:51,365 --> 01:37:53,784
It might
just be fart.
1983
01:37:53,826 --> 01:37:55,744
Might not be
anything else in there,
1984
01:37:55,786 --> 01:37:57,121
just fart.
1985
01:37:57,162 --> 01:38:00,082
It might be
a bag of fart.
1986
01:38:00,124 --> 01:38:02,084
I mean, you could have
no mind at all,
1987
01:38:02,126 --> 01:38:05,087
just enough brainstem activity
to keep your heart
and lungs going.
1988
01:38:05,129 --> 01:38:07,006
It would still
really work for me.
1989
01:38:07,047 --> 01:38:09,758
You're about to get
another ass-kicking.
1990
01:38:09,800 --> 01:38:12,011
Oh, I just came!
1991
01:38:14,972 --> 01:38:16,932
I love my job!
1992
01:38:18,684 --> 01:38:20,352
We're totally
locked up, tim!
1993
01:38:20,394 --> 01:38:22,104
Very quiet!
Action!
1994
01:38:23,063 --> 01:38:25,107
No, that's okay.
1995
01:38:25,149 --> 01:38:26,942
I'll do it.
1996
01:38:26,984 --> 01:38:28,444
And cutting!
1997
01:38:42,124 --> 01:38:44,835
Woman's voice:
Help! Get me out of here!
1998
01:38:44,877 --> 01:38:47,129
Don't leave the theater
with me stuck in here.
1999
01:38:47,171 --> 01:38:50,049
Have you no mercy?
2000
01:38:50,090 --> 01:38:52,927
Please!
143905
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