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1
00:00:06,607 --> 00:00:08,142
What is it about sex,
2
00:00:08,242 --> 00:00:10,144
that makes people
think of ice cream?
3
00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:11,212
I hear that's how
Ben and Jerry
4
00:00:11,312 --> 00:00:12,646
come up with their flavors.
5
00:00:14,682 --> 00:00:15,649
It must have been
a wild night
6
00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:17,485
when Chunky Monkey
was born.
7
00:00:19,187 --> 00:00:20,554
So now that we're engaged,
8
00:00:20,654 --> 00:00:22,923
do you think our sex life
will slow down?
9
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,492
I hope so.
What?
10
00:00:24,592 --> 00:00:26,294
Well, I mean, you know,
the sex is great.
11
00:00:26,394 --> 00:00:28,329
I just, I'm putting on a lot
of weight here.
12
00:00:28,429 --> 00:00:29,497
Oh, mm-hm.
13
00:00:29,597 --> 00:00:31,699
Have you thought about a date
for our wedding?
14
00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:34,102
I kind of assumed
I'd be taking you.
15
00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:37,138
Oh, my.
16
00:00:37,238 --> 00:00:38,606
Gee, a lifetime
of jokes like that,
17
00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:40,174
how lucky can a girl get?
18
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:44,612
Mm. No, Mike, we really,
we should start planning,
19
00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:46,747
you know, there's a lot
of things to talk about.
20
00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:49,350
We have some of our
best conversations during sex.
21
00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:52,586
No, we don't. You sound
like a TV evangelist, Mike.
22
00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:56,056
Yeah. "Oh, Lord. Oh, God.
23
00:00:56,990 --> 00:00:58,759
"Oh, Lord, I can see."
24
00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:00,961
Yeah.
25
00:01:01,129 --> 00:01:02,963
At least I don't sound like
a driving instructor.
26
00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:04,698
"Slow down, slow down.
27
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:07,801
"To the left, to the left.
28
00:01:10,138 --> 00:01:11,839
"Look out for the bus."
29
00:01:13,141 --> 00:01:15,143
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
30
00:01:37,064 --> 00:01:39,967
I want to remind all of you
that running New York City
31
00:01:40,668 --> 00:01:42,503
is our job.
32
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:45,639
And City Hall is the nerve
center of that job.
33
00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:49,577
And as City Hall goes,
so goes New York City.
34
00:01:49,677 --> 00:01:52,413
So I'll ask you
one more time again...
35
00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:54,515
Who jammed
the snack machine...
36
00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:00,821
By using Canadian coins?
37
00:02:06,194 --> 00:02:07,195
I don't know.
38
00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:09,830
James, when you put a coin
39
00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:11,932
in one of Uncle Sam's
snack machines,
40
00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:14,268
it likes to see
a dead president
41
00:02:14,368 --> 00:02:15,769
on that coin,
42
00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:18,206
not a maple leaf...
43
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:20,974
Not a beaver.
44
00:02:22,410 --> 00:02:24,812
I can't believe
the snack machines are down.
45
00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:27,215
Now how am I gonna get
my afternoon Ding Dong?
46
00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:36,657
I can take care
of that for you.
47
00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:39,227
On a non-snack-
related note,
48
00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:40,561
the first-quarter
reports are due.
49
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:41,695
Stacey, you're gonna
have to type them up,
50
00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:43,431
so you'll be working
all week.
51
00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:45,733
You're kidding. Mike,
I have a new boyfriend.
52
00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:48,636
Stacey, please. Let's act
like an adult, shall we?
53
00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:49,803
And let's not forget
the new rule.
54
00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:51,572
If one of us works late,
we all work late.
55
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:53,241
(WHINING) Mike,
that's no fair.
56
00:02:54,242 --> 00:02:55,276
I hate this place.
57
00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:02,115
Oh, everybody, don't tell
Claudia that I proposed
58
00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:04,051
to her on TV, because
she doesn't know yet, okay?
59
00:03:04,151 --> 00:03:05,586
ALL: Yeah, whatever.
60
00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:07,888
Until I can propose
in the right way,
61
00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:09,457
I'm gonna keep her
in the dark.
62
00:03:09,557 --> 00:03:11,459
In fact, today
I'm whisking her off to a spa,
63
00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:12,626
where she's gonna
spend most of the day
64
00:03:12,726 --> 00:03:14,762
in a sensory
deprivation tank.
65
00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:16,597
Wouldn't
your apartment suffice?
66
00:03:17,465 --> 00:03:18,632
Mike, I'm gonna need
the ring back.
67
00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:20,601
Oh, you mean the ring
that Laurie is right now,
68
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:23,170
as we speak, wearing as her
engagement ring?
69
00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:26,106
Paul, I paid for that ring,
which is what they go by
70
00:03:26,274 --> 00:03:28,108
when they're figuring out
whose ring it is.
71
00:03:29,577 --> 00:03:31,011
But thanks
for stopping by.
72
00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:33,947
Janelle, I'm gonna need...
73
00:03:35,283 --> 00:03:36,284
What? What is it?
74
00:03:36,317 --> 00:03:38,118
We just can't believe
you're engaged, Mike.
75
00:03:38,286 --> 00:03:39,186
That's right, ladies.
76
00:03:39,287 --> 00:03:40,954
You can stop roaming
the aisles.
77
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,791
The bachelor store is
fresh out of Flaherty.
78
00:03:45,293 --> 00:03:48,496
Have no fear. There is a huge
shipment of Stuart,
79
00:03:48,596 --> 00:03:50,398
and it is priced to move.
80
00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:58,372
Then move.
81
00:04:01,008 --> 00:04:03,644
You know, a person could do
a lot worse than Mike.
82
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:05,346
(BLANDLY) Yeah.
83
00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:07,948
Hopefully there's a Mike
out there for each of us.
84
00:04:10,551 --> 00:04:13,321
(THEME FROM
THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW PLAYS)
85
00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:28,101
Oh, Mike! Are you
all right, honey?
86
00:04:28,201 --> 00:04:29,337
You know, after tripping
over that thing
87
00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:31,372
every day for two years,
you'd think I'd learn.
88
00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:34,107
(LAUGHTER SOUNDTRACK)
89
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,578
How was your day
at City Hall?
90
00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:39,212
Oh, boy, don't ask.
91
00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:44,852
You know, if it would help,
I'd be happy
92
00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:46,387
to come work at the office.
93
00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:47,821
You know I don't
want you working.
94
00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:50,424
I want you shopping
and going to the salon
95
00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:51,992
and taking care
of little Mikey.
96
00:04:54,928 --> 00:04:57,064
Here. Mike wants you
to organize the books
97
00:04:57,164 --> 00:04:59,199
for the entire first quarter
and give him a summary.
98
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:02,135
(MIMICKING MARY TYLER MOORE)
Oh, Mike!
99
00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:08,075
I've been asked to speak
on behalf of your arteries.
100
00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:09,710
You have to eat
healthier.
101
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,745
Why don't you try
some fruit once in a while?
102
00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:13,381
How many times do I have
to tell you?
103
00:05:13,414 --> 00:05:16,417
Crunch Berries are fruit.
104
00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:18,486
Let me get this straight.
You run the city?
105
00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:22,956
You know, Laurie,
I've been thinking.
Hm.
106
00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:25,859
Most couples spend,
like, a year of their lives
107
00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:27,127
planning their wedding.
Mm-hm.
108
00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:29,096
You know, it overwhelms
the relationship.
109
00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:30,964
I was thinking maybe we could
move a little quicker.
110
00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:32,600
You mean move it
up to summer?
111
00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:35,636
I was thinking Saturday.
112
00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:37,905
You can't put a wedding
together in less than a week.
113
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:40,741
There's a lot of things
we have to talk about.
114
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:43,644
For instance, what about
a prenuptial agreement?
115
00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:45,679
I don't need one.
116
00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:47,415
Of course you don't.
I make four times what you do.
117
00:05:54,655 --> 00:05:55,923
You're serious,
aren't you?
118
00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:57,758
I'll take care
of every detail.
119
00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:00,861
Church, band, the caterers.
If you want,
120
00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:03,096
I'll have a thousand doves
released into the air.
121
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,232
I love you, and I want us
to start living
122
00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:07,435
our lives together
as soon as possible.
123
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,336
Let's do it.
124
00:06:11,439 --> 00:06:13,574
Where are you gonna
get a thousand doves?
125
00:06:14,475 --> 00:06:15,976
Pigeons and some
house paint.
126
00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:22,550
I can't believe I'm back here
buying another ring.
127
00:06:22,650 --> 00:06:25,185
Paul, you didn't buy
the first ring. Mike did.
128
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:28,255
Still, it was
very traumatic.
129
00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:31,459
A diamond really is
a miracle of nature.
130
00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:34,127
Not to mention a rocket ride
to mattressville.
131
00:06:35,963 --> 00:06:37,665
Marriage is a huge
proposition.
132
00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:39,232
Am I ready? Is it
the right time?
133
00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:40,801
Is Claudia
the right woman?
134
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:43,070
Paul, Claudia's
the only girl for you.
135
00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:45,473
Thank you,
Stuart.
136
00:06:46,674 --> 00:06:48,509
No, I mean she's
the only girl.
137
00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:54,114
Janelle said you had
a question for me?
138
00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:56,383
Uh. Yes, sir, I do.
139
00:06:56,484 --> 00:06:57,951
Well, I was wondering
if you would do me
140
00:06:58,051 --> 00:07:01,021
the honor of being
my best man.
141
00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:03,090
The honor would
be all mine.
142
00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:05,192
And I don't want you
to think for a minute,
143
00:07:05,292 --> 00:07:06,359
that you're making
a mistake
144
00:07:06,494 --> 00:07:08,829
just because my marriage
was a total disaster.
145
00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:12,132
Right. Well, sir,
146
00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:14,502
I'm sure there were
some good times.
147
00:07:14,602 --> 00:07:15,736
No.
148
00:07:21,008 --> 00:07:22,543
My marriage was 25 years
149
00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:24,578
of root canal
with no anesthetic.
150
00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:27,581
A never-ending
plane ride
151
00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:29,817
with a cabin full
of crying babies.
152
00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:33,521
Sir? Uh, save some of that
for the toast.
153
00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:36,957
You know, Mike, now that
I've had some time
154
00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:39,059
to think about marriage
and what it means...
155
00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:40,327
No offense, sir,
but it sounds like
156
00:07:40,427 --> 00:07:41,862
you're ramping up
a long one,
157
00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:44,532
and I'm getting married
on Saturday,
158
00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:46,700
and I got a lot
of stuff I gotta do.
159
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,770
Mr. Mayor? Your conference
call's in five minutes.
160
00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:51,739
So, Janelle.
What do you think
161
00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:53,373
of our Mike here
getting married?
162
00:07:53,541 --> 00:07:56,009
I'm very happy for him, sir.
Laurie's a lucky girl.
163
00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:58,178
I've decided to throw him
a big engagement party.
164
00:07:58,278 --> 00:08:02,015
We're gonna need decorations,
confetti, and noise makers,
165
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:04,785
and... Oh, and a big cake
shaped like...
166
00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:07,187
Ladies and gentlemen,
167
00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:09,557
the President
of the United States.
168
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:18,131
Which would you say
was a bigger thrill,
169
00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:20,300
winning the heart
of such a wonderful person,
170
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:21,835
or being elected president?
171
00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:26,306
Well, I don't think
the two can be separated,
172
00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:28,308
because without
my Michael...
173
00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:32,345
I don't think I could
have won that election.
174
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:36,483
Oh, honey, you know how I hate
to be in the spotlight.
175
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:39,452
Whoa! Hey, Mrs. President.
176
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:44,825
CROWD: Janelle, Janelle,
Janelle, Janelle...
177
00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:46,159
MAYOR: Janelle? Janelle.
178
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:48,195
We're gonna need balloons,
and lots of them.
179
00:08:48,295 --> 00:08:49,830
Oh, and get some
extra helium.
180
00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:51,932
So we can do that funny
thing with our voices.
181
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:58,939
Here we are at
an engagement party.
182
00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,908
Does it make you
think of anything?
183
00:09:01,008 --> 00:09:04,477
Yeah. There's gonna be a lot
of leftover hors d'oeuvres.
184
00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:07,981
I'm glad you brought
your big purse.
185
00:09:11,018 --> 00:09:12,686
Hey, James.
186
00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:14,521
I'm proposing
to Claudia tonight.
187
00:09:14,622 --> 00:09:17,658
She has no idea.
I'm so smooth.
188
00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:22,362
Paul, your tie
is in your drink.
189
00:09:22,462 --> 00:09:23,964
Oh, God! Oh, no!
190
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,866
So, Laurie,
as Mike's best man,
191
00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:29,269
I'm curious as to who I will
be escorting down the aisle.
192
00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:31,171
Sir, she's one
of my oldest friends.
193
00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:33,206
She's an architect.
194
00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:35,208
She's actually
a Fulbright scholar.
195
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:36,910
Honey, he wants to know
if she's hot.
196
00:09:38,646 --> 00:09:40,447
She's smokin' hot. Yeah.
197
00:09:40,547 --> 00:09:41,982
(LASCIVIOUSLY) Oh.
198
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,516
At least her husband
thinks so.
199
00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:45,653
(DISAPPOINTED) Oh.
200
00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:49,356
Well, it's good to see
everybody here tonight.
201
00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:50,991
I mean, we all
work together,
202
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,460
we eat together...
203
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:55,128
Now we're at
a party together.
204
00:09:56,997 --> 00:09:58,498
I have to get a life.
205
00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:01,301
Let me see the ring.
206
00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:03,637
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
207
00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:05,338
What do you
call that setting?
208
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:06,406
A solitaire.
209
00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:08,508
(ALL CHATTERING)
210
00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:12,512
(WHISTLES)
211
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:14,014
Did you see that escape?
212
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,316
Mike, those women
were all over you,
213
00:10:16,416 --> 00:10:19,519
scratching, clawing,
pressing against your body.
214
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,621
I'm going back in.
Wait, wait, Mike.
215
00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:25,425
Before you go back in,
216
00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:27,227
I'm proposing
to Claudia tonight,
217
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:30,831
and I'm thinking of two words,
dual ceremony.
218
00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:33,433
Paul, we know
you're cheap,
219
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:36,670
but this is, like,
psychotic.
220
00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:38,972
Just because I'm thrifty,
that doesn't mean I'm not...
221
00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:41,675
Bark for a dollar, Paul.
Bark for a dollar. Bark.
222
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,143
Woof.
223
00:10:48,849 --> 00:10:52,385
Uh, Mike? Why does
my engagement ring
224
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,454
have an inscription
"To Claudia"?
225
00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:02,730
Uh, Claudia, what...
What is the meaning of this?
226
00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:06,233
Paulie?
227
00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:10,437
Does this mean what
I think it means?
228
00:11:10,537 --> 00:11:13,173
Because if it does,
the answer is yes.
229
00:11:14,141 --> 00:11:16,576
I'm not asking the question.
What?
230
00:11:16,744 --> 00:11:18,411
Every time I try
and propose,
231
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:19,747
something goes wrong.
232
00:11:19,813 --> 00:11:23,283
The gods are trying to tell us
we shouldn't be married.
233
00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:24,551
What gods?
234
00:11:24,651 --> 00:11:27,755
The... The big gods!
The gods in the sky!
235
00:11:27,821 --> 00:11:29,757
Claudia, I'm sorry.
No, no, no.
236
00:11:29,857 --> 00:11:31,558
We're just not meant to be.
237
00:11:38,298 --> 00:11:40,133
(HELIUM VOICE) Why does
everyone look so serious?
238
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,142
I was holding
the ring for Paul,
239
00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:52,612
but then you found it.
So, I just went with that.
240
00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:54,347
And then I re-proposed,
241
00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:56,216
which I thought
was very nice of me,
242
00:11:57,584 --> 00:11:58,919
because I... I really do...
243
00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:00,854
Mike...
Please don't hurt me.
244
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:03,390
(SIGHS)
Mike, I'm not mad.
245
00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:06,393
I mean, I tried to be,
but...
246
00:12:06,493 --> 00:12:07,694
When you're scrambling
around like this,
247
00:12:07,795 --> 00:12:09,830
you just, you look
so cute, you know?
248
00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:12,699
You remind me
of my old dog Bucky.
249
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:14,334
I could never get mad at him.
250
00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:17,704
Whether he was chewing
my shoes,
251
00:12:17,805 --> 00:12:19,907
or trying to hump my leg.
252
00:12:20,007 --> 00:12:21,809
It's nice to know I have
that kind of leeway.
253
00:12:25,212 --> 00:12:26,814
You are so cool.
254
00:12:26,914 --> 00:12:28,715
Yes, I'm aware of that.
255
00:12:28,816 --> 00:12:31,484
Oh, I have the greatest
fiancee in the world.
256
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:34,121
Technically, I don't
qualify as your fiancee.
257
00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:35,255
I have no ring,
258
00:12:35,355 --> 00:12:37,825
and I was proposed to
under false pretenses.
259
00:12:38,725 --> 00:12:40,127
What do you want?
260
00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:41,394
I want a real proposal.
261
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,031
A nice one, the way
it should be.
262
00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:45,665
You want a ring
with your name on it?
263
00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:47,935
Good boy, yeah.
264
00:12:48,735 --> 00:12:52,840
Sir, how's...
How's Claudia doing?
265
00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:54,741
(HELIUM VOICE) Nothing
seems to cheer her up.
266
00:12:59,579 --> 00:13:02,082
Two proposals
shot to hell.
267
00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:04,384
I should have gone
with my original instinct.
268
00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:05,652
Which was?
269
00:13:05,752 --> 00:13:08,488
The Niagara Falls
proposal-to-honeymoon package.
270
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:12,092
$99.95 gets
a round-trip bus fare,
271
00:13:12,192 --> 00:13:14,761
ceremony aboard
The Maiden of the Mist,
272
00:13:14,862 --> 00:13:17,230
and complimentary
wedding ponchos.
273
00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:21,234
You just have to get back
on the horse. Propose again.
274
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:23,403
Yeah, I'd probably have
to buy a third ring.
275
00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:25,939
I've already spent a king's
ransom on the first two.
276
00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:28,275
Paul, I saw the bill.
277
00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:30,443
It was more like
a Burger King's ransom.
278
00:13:32,079 --> 00:13:34,314
You're using any mishap
as a convenient excuse
279
00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:35,949
to run away from commitment.
280
00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:38,886
Take it from me.
You don't need an excuse.
281
00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:42,222
Just run like the wind.
282
00:13:45,258 --> 00:13:48,328
Morning, Stacey. Let me know
as soon as Paul gets in.
283
00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:52,332
I need that list of wedding
guests typed up ASAP.
284
00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:54,067
I'm almost done, Mike.
285
00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:56,904
* Oh
286
00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:59,506
* My darling
287
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:37,344
MIKE: Stacey.
288
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:41,681
Stacey, you okay?
289
00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:43,951
Yeah. My mind was
just wandering.
290
00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:45,585
Oh, I forgot. I gotta
make a phone call.
291
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,323
Okay, I'm still dreaming.
292
00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:52,525
Stay focused,
and maybe he'll come back
293
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:54,427
without his shirt on again.
294
00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:55,628
STUART: Hey, baby.
295
00:15:04,171 --> 00:15:06,439
Claudia's here.
You tricked me.
296
00:15:06,539 --> 00:15:09,309
Oh, yeah. I'm a regular
David Copperfield.
297
00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:11,444
Have a seat.
298
00:15:15,548 --> 00:15:17,317
Paul?
What?
299
00:15:19,119 --> 00:15:20,287
Look at Claudia.
300
00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:23,756
I can't. If I look,
I'll crumble like old cheese.
301
00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:25,892
Paul?
302
00:15:25,993 --> 00:15:29,629
Yes? Oh, Claudia.
Oh, I love you. I love you.
303
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,901
How about a toast?
304
00:15:35,002 --> 00:15:37,004
Here's to two years of love,
305
00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:40,640
commitment, support
and friendship.
306
00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:44,544
To, uh, four crazy days.
307
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:47,180
Are you all ready
to order?
308
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,049
I don't need a menu.
309
00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:51,051
My man will have
a turkey sandwich
310
00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:53,186
with mustard
and extra pickles.
311
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:58,058
And my lady will have
chicken salad on rye,
312
00:15:58,158 --> 00:16:01,094
with lettuce, coleslaw, and
some potato chips, please.
313
00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:03,330
Uh, my lady...
314
00:16:08,835 --> 00:16:10,470
Will have the...
315
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,106
The bacon
and cheese omelet.
316
00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:15,808
Um, Mike,
I'm allergic to bacon.
317
00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:17,810
If I eat it,
my throat closes up.
318
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:20,613
She'll need a doctor
with that.
319
00:16:23,950 --> 00:16:25,218
I'll have
the grilled tuna.
320
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:26,719
And how would you
like that prepared?
321
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:29,456
I... I... I got this. Grilled.
322
00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:33,360
And you, sir?
323
00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:36,629
I don't know
what you want.
324
00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:37,564
Wing it, honey. I'm sure
325
00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:39,466
whatever you order
will be perfect.
326
00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:41,868
Um, he'll have
the veggie-burger.
327
00:16:43,970 --> 00:16:45,205
See that? Perfect.
328
00:16:46,073 --> 00:16:47,107
Can I get a side order
329
00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:48,808
of corned beef sandwich
with that?
330
00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:53,913
You just hold
the veggie-burger.
331
00:16:59,319 --> 00:17:00,487
You were king
out there today.
332
00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:03,723
Me, how about you?
That no-look pass you made?
333
00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:05,558
Kicked that guy right
out of his jock strap.
334
00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:08,195
Not that he needed one
after that.
335
00:17:08,295 --> 00:17:09,996
Oh, there's a Knicks
game on at 4:00.
336
00:17:10,097 --> 00:17:12,332
Great. I got a couple
of beers here.
337
00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:14,101
Got some leftover pizza.
338
00:17:14,201 --> 00:17:15,968
Sounds like an afternoon.
339
00:17:16,103 --> 00:17:17,937
Take my mind off my problems
for a while.
340
00:17:18,105 --> 00:17:19,439
Yeah, really.
341
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,108
Hey, we've got about
an hour to kill
342
00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:22,309
before the game.
343
00:17:22,409 --> 00:17:24,544
Wanna head into the other room
and have some sex?
344
00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:32,985
You know I do.
345
00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:46,133
Hello. Hey! Carter!
Huh?
346
00:17:47,434 --> 00:17:49,369
You wanna share
a cab or what?
347
00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:51,338
Yeah, Mike.
Yeah, sure. Sure.
348
00:17:54,141 --> 00:17:55,408
What are we doing here?
349
00:17:55,508 --> 00:17:57,144
Well, I wanted
to propose to you
350
00:17:57,244 --> 00:17:59,146
in the place where
we first kissed.
351
00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:00,513
Uh. The pressroom?
352
00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,915
Yes, well, tonight
they're having a symposium
353
00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:04,751
on rat management
in there.
354
00:18:04,851 --> 00:18:06,719
So this is the closest
I could get.
355
00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:07,954
But we could go
in there if you want,
356
00:18:08,054 --> 00:18:09,622
because it sounds
interesting.
357
00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:12,058
No, we'll stay here.
358
00:18:12,159 --> 00:18:15,595
Your romantic instincts
are impeccable, as always.
359
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:17,797
Claudia...
360
00:18:20,367 --> 00:18:22,068
You're the only woman
who's accepted me
361
00:18:22,169 --> 00:18:23,903
for the man
I can't help being.
362
00:18:26,072 --> 00:18:28,675
Would you do me the honor
of becoming my wife
363
00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:31,644
by selecting one
of these two rings?
364
00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:35,882
Honey, they're both
so beautiful.
365
00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:39,619
How do I choose?
366
00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:41,188
Well, you could
keep them both.
367
00:18:42,021 --> 00:18:43,055
Are you sure?
368
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,758
That's so against
your nature.
369
00:18:47,093 --> 00:18:48,428
What can I say?
370
00:18:49,196 --> 00:18:50,963
I love you that much.
371
00:18:51,063 --> 00:18:52,565
Oh, Paulie.
372
00:18:54,033 --> 00:18:55,235
Which one is fake?
373
00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:56,736
The one on the left.
374
00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:02,475
After lunch with Paul
and Claudia,
375
00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:04,110
I had some time to think,
and...
376
00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:07,046
You know what
I came up with?
377
00:19:07,214 --> 00:19:08,715
I think I have an idea.
378
00:19:10,417 --> 00:19:11,651
This.
379
00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:14,821
Will you marry me?
380
00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:18,691
No.
381
00:19:19,426 --> 00:19:20,593
You can't...
You can't say no.
382
00:19:20,693 --> 00:19:22,995
You... You already said yes.
383
00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:25,932
The yes is in.
384
00:19:26,032 --> 00:19:28,935
I think we both know we made
this decision too quickly.
385
00:19:29,035 --> 00:19:30,470
That's the way
I... I do things.
386
00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:33,973
I make gut decisions,
and then I go with that.
387
00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:36,243
Yesterday it took me
388
00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:38,711
two seconds to decide
to refurbish
389
00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:40,780
all the jungle gyms
in the city parks.
390
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,249
Jungle gyms are
not as important
391
00:19:42,315 --> 00:19:44,251
as what we're
talking about here.
392
00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:46,553
You tell that to those kids.
393
00:19:46,653 --> 00:19:49,256
I am certain I wanna
spend my life with you.
394
00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:50,990
Are you certain you wanna
spend yours with me?
395
00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:53,593
Not if you keep asking me
all these tough questions.
396
00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:55,662
You know, it's funny.
397
00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:57,697
You're fighting
for what I want,
398
00:19:57,797 --> 00:19:59,732
and I'm fighting
for what you want.
399
00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:02,335
Then we should get married.
No.
400
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:05,838
Mike. You know what's right.
401
00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:07,574
All I know is that
I love being with you.
402
00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:10,176
And I love being
with you, but...
403
00:20:11,511 --> 00:20:13,012
That's not enough.
404
00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:16,916
All right. So...
405
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,186
Now what do we do?
406
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,022
I don't know.
407
00:20:23,122 --> 00:20:27,894
I've heard of couples that...
That get, uh, pre-engaged.
408
00:20:29,329 --> 00:20:30,697
What's that all about?
409
00:20:34,801 --> 00:20:37,404
That's about
being afraid, Mike.
410
00:20:37,504 --> 00:20:39,238
That's about not knowing
what you want.
411
00:20:40,139 --> 00:20:41,173
Bingo.
412
00:20:42,108 --> 00:20:44,511
I can't come back
tomorrow as your date
413
00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:46,913
when today I was
your fiancee.
414
00:20:48,381 --> 00:20:50,216
Laurie, you can't leave, okay?
415
00:20:50,317 --> 00:20:52,652
Without you, I'm...
I'm... I'm...
Mike, don't get me wrong.
416
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:54,387
I'm gonna pray
you stop me.
417
00:20:57,056 --> 00:20:58,625
Here I go.
418
00:20:58,725 --> 00:21:01,328
You... You are gonna
come back?
419
00:21:04,063 --> 00:21:05,064
I don't know.
420
00:21:08,234 --> 00:21:09,336
Uh...
421
00:21:11,404 --> 00:21:12,772
You okay?
422
00:21:14,173 --> 00:21:16,142
I didn't think you'd
let me get this far.
423
00:21:19,346 --> 00:21:20,347
Bye, Mike.
424
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:22,081
Laurie...
425
00:21:25,818 --> 00:21:27,454
I'll... I'll keep
the door unlocked.
426
00:21:34,494 --> 00:21:37,129
This thing with Laurie's,
you know, been rough.
427
00:21:37,864 --> 00:21:39,932
I can't deny it hurts.
428
00:21:40,533 --> 00:21:41,401
We know, Mike.
429
00:21:41,501 --> 00:21:43,102
And we just wanted to help.
430
00:21:56,816 --> 00:21:59,419
That's right, mike.
We just wanna help.
431
00:22:01,454 --> 00:22:02,822
(GASPS)
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