Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:08,042
The mayor
will be giving
2
00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:09,310
a State-of-the-City
address within the hour.
3
00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:11,412
Now, I cannot overstate
the delicacy of this.
4
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:13,281
P.C. watchdogs are
gonna be out in full force,
5
00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:16,084
particularly after
the mayor's little
performance this weekend.
6
00:00:16,184 --> 00:00:17,651
Uh, Mike, it was
absolutely essential
7
00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:19,787
that the mayor attend
that Unity Pride Day.
8
00:00:19,887 --> 00:00:23,457
And by jumping up on that
stage and performing
with that rap band,
9
00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:25,926
he showed those kids
he understood their world.
10
00:00:27,395 --> 00:00:28,529
Carter, don't get
me wrong.
11
00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:30,298
I've got nothing
against rap music.
12
00:00:30,398 --> 00:00:31,999
I happen to like
the rap music,
13
00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:35,503
but whether it's rap,
country and western,
or a damn show tune,
14
00:00:35,603 --> 00:00:37,205
the mayor should not
be singing any song
15
00:00:37,305 --> 00:00:38,972
called Yo Bitch.
16
00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:42,243
Hey! What happened
to you?
17
00:00:42,343 --> 00:00:43,444
Skateboard accident.
18
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:45,213
Paul, I've seen you
dislocate your shoulder
19
00:00:45,313 --> 00:00:47,348
running for an elevator.
20
00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:48,849
Stay off the skateboard.
21
00:00:48,949 --> 00:00:50,418
This little monster
from across the street
22
00:00:50,518 --> 00:00:52,453
comes barreling down
the sidewalk I'm on,
all right?
23
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,222
So I manage to avoid
him, right?
24
00:00:54,322 --> 00:00:55,589
But I'm thrown
off-balance
25
00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:59,127
and his kid sister
nails me with her
big wheel.
26
00:01:00,928 --> 00:01:03,964
So technically,
it's a big wheel accident.
27
00:01:04,132 --> 00:01:06,367
Yo, Paul, those things
come standard equipped
with the little hand brakes,
28
00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:09,137
so if I were you
I'd be asking myself,
29
00:01:09,170 --> 00:01:10,938
"Was it really
an accident?"
30
00:01:13,174 --> 00:01:15,143
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
31
00:01:21,349 --> 00:01:22,916
(PARROT SQUAWKS)
32
00:01:26,187 --> 00:01:30,591
Looking back at the past
12 months I've been in office,
33
00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:33,694
I can point with pride
to the many accomplishments
34
00:01:33,794 --> 00:01:35,796
of my administration.
35
00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:38,832
Crime is down.
36
00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:43,504
You are now less likely
to be murdered
37
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:46,307
or violently assaulted
on the streets of this city...
38
00:01:48,276 --> 00:01:50,578
than at any other time
39
00:01:50,678 --> 00:01:52,946
in the past 20 years.
40
00:01:53,481 --> 00:01:55,216
At the same time...
41
00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:03,224
we are experiencing
a cultural renaissance.
42
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:09,197
Once again,
New York is a mecca
43
00:02:09,297 --> 00:02:11,865
for filmmakers,
musicians,
44
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:15,035
writers, and
television producers.
45
00:02:15,336 --> 00:02:16,337
(SNIFFS)
46
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:19,407
And, uh...
47
00:02:22,210 --> 00:02:24,912
this, uh... This both
contributes to our tax base
48
00:02:25,012 --> 00:02:27,315
and attracts
thousands of visitors
49
00:02:27,415 --> 00:02:29,250
to our city each year.
50
00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:32,085
Now, if it wasn't for...
51
00:02:35,456 --> 00:02:37,124
Dude, I said
I was sorry.
52
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:39,860
You think this...
53
00:02:42,430 --> 00:02:43,997
means "I'm sorry"?
54
00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:46,434
This was
a State-of the-City address
55
00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:47,935
seen by millions
of New Yorkers,
56
00:02:48,035 --> 00:02:50,338
and do you know
what our message was?
57
00:02:50,438 --> 00:02:51,872
Crime is down,
jobs are up,
58
00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:54,642
and the mayor hates
deaf people.
59
00:02:54,742 --> 00:02:56,577
Back off, pal.
I'm just a temp.
60
00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:59,413
Ha! Just a temp.
61
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:02,450
And you! Where did
you find this guy?
62
00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:04,452
Temp agency.
63
00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:13,361
Paul, I'm thinking
of having you replaced
with a monkey.
64
00:03:14,762 --> 00:03:17,931
So! Why did
the agency send
you over, anyway?
65
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,834
His resume said
he knew sign language.
66
00:03:21,769 --> 00:03:23,837
He lied on his
resume, Mike?
67
00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:26,039
(SARCASTICALLY)
It would appear so.
68
00:03:26,139 --> 00:03:28,709
You guys telling me
you never lied on
your resume before?
69
00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:29,877
Nope.
No.
70
00:03:29,977 --> 00:03:31,445
Not a chance.
STUART: Not me.
71
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:32,813
PAUL: Nope.
Not me, either.
72
00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:36,016
Uh, I'm still gonna
get paid for today, right?
73
00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:39,420
(SARCASTICALLY) Oh, yeah.
The "check" is, uh,
"in the mail."
74
00:03:41,088 --> 00:03:43,457
So, what exactly
is the purpose
of this meeting?
75
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,158
Sarah Edelman
is coming by.
76
00:03:45,293 --> 00:03:47,961
She's the director
of the New York Coalition
for the Hearing Impaired.
77
00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:50,298
I'm trying to make
an overture to
the deaf community.
78
00:03:50,398 --> 00:03:52,099
She's deaf?
79
00:03:52,199 --> 00:03:54,835
Yeah, Paul. Makes
for a better overture.
80
00:03:54,935 --> 00:03:56,970
So how come Stuart
gets to go and I don't?
81
00:03:57,070 --> 00:04:00,107
Because we're trying
to actually accomplish
something.
82
00:04:00,308 --> 00:04:03,176
Because Stuart
knows sign language.
83
00:04:03,311 --> 00:04:04,645
You just worry
about getting better.
84
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:05,713
Claudia staying
at your place?
85
00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:06,847
Is she taking
good care of you?
86
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,148
Ho ho ho! Is she ever.
87
00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:10,217
I have two words
for you gentlemen...
88
00:04:10,318 --> 00:04:11,885
Sponge bath.
89
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,588
STUART: You know
what Claudia's doing, Paul?
90
00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:16,089
What?
She's nesting.
91
00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:17,057
Nesting?
92
00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:18,592
MIKE: That's right, Paul.
93
00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:20,361
Next thing you know,
her earrings are gonna
be on your night stand,
94
00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:22,363
her toothbrush
will be in your
medicine cabinet,
95
00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:25,966
and she'll show up
at your door with
a bunch of twigs in her beak.
96
00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:29,169
Oh, wow. That could
only mean one thing...
97
00:04:29,337 --> 00:04:32,373
Claudia wants to lay
her eggs in my apartment.
98
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,909
Oh, she'll lay them
in your apartment,
99
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:37,044
but they're gonna
hatch in a house
100
00:04:37,144 --> 00:04:39,012
you can't afford
on Long Island.
101
00:04:40,348 --> 00:04:41,382
Good night.
102
00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:43,216
We would like
to convey our
sincerest apologies
103
00:04:43,351 --> 00:04:45,653
for the events
that took place
this morning.
104
00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:48,556
Can't she
understand me?
105
00:04:49,923 --> 00:04:51,592
Yes.
She understands.
106
00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:01,435
Gee, Stu, how'd you
ever pick that up?
107
00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:03,371
Well, that was easy.
Thanks for coming up.
108
00:05:03,437 --> 00:05:04,872
It's always nice
dealing with somebody
109
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,474
who is so understanding.
110
00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:11,044
No, she understands you
because she reads lips.
111
00:05:11,912 --> 00:05:13,714
She does not,
however,
112
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,583
understand how
this administration
113
00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:17,050
thinks it can get away
114
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:20,554
with a simple, empty,
insincere apology.
115
00:05:24,492 --> 00:05:26,427
Because it's always
worked before? (LAUGHS)
116
00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:31,399
(MAYOR LAUGHING)
117
00:05:31,499 --> 00:05:33,701
Yeah... Okay, Mike.
118
00:05:33,801 --> 00:05:36,704
I think
I've warmed her up.
119
00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:38,205
Why don't you bring
this one home?
120
00:05:38,305 --> 00:05:40,040
Nice meeting you,
ma'am.
121
00:05:41,409 --> 00:05:43,076
Uh, please.
122
00:05:47,515 --> 00:05:48,949
Ms. Edelman...
123
00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:51,051
Uh, may I call
you Sarah?
124
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:53,787
Go for it.
125
00:05:55,523 --> 00:05:59,760
Sarah, we're well aware
that words alone
126
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:03,030
cannot undo the hurt
and... And pain
127
00:06:03,130 --> 00:06:05,799
that we've inflicted
upon these most
valued members
128
00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:07,234
of our community.
129
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:11,639
What'd she say?
130
00:06:11,739 --> 00:06:12,840
Can you believe this?
131
00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:15,709
Followed by an expletive
referring to cow dung.
132
00:06:20,614 --> 00:06:21,782
Okay.
133
00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:25,719
Sarah, uh, I'm gonna
level with you.
134
00:06:26,286 --> 00:06:27,621
We screwed up,
135
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:31,358
and... And I don't have
a good excuse ready.
136
00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:36,630
She appreciates
your candor,
137
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:40,734
but she thinks
that anything less
than a public apology
138
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:43,103
would be viewed
by the hearing impaired
community
139
00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:44,772
as a slap in the face.
140
00:06:44,872 --> 00:06:46,507
You got it.
141
00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:48,175
And if it makes you
feel any better,
142
00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:51,211
feel free to slap
Stuart in the face.
143
00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:56,550
No. That's not funny.
144
00:06:58,586 --> 00:07:00,688
If I can add on
a personal note,
145
00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:03,624
it's always great
to reach out to members
146
00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:06,059
of the hearing impaired
community,
147
00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:08,361
though may I add,
in this case
148
00:07:08,496 --> 00:07:11,499
it's particularly great.
149
00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:20,541
She says that politicians
are always trying
150
00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:22,109
to charm her,
but in this case
151
00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:24,044
it's particularly
annoying.
152
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,081
Charming.
153
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:29,783
It's particularly
charming.
154
00:07:36,023 --> 00:07:38,526
Aren't our resumes
supposed to be kept
confidential?
155
00:07:38,626 --> 00:07:41,328
Why, Mr. Heywood?
You have something
to hide?
156
00:07:41,428 --> 00:07:43,564
No.
(STUART CHUCKLES)
157
00:07:43,664 --> 00:07:46,399
When were you a clerk
for the United Nations?
158
00:07:46,534 --> 00:07:47,535
Hmm?
159
00:07:47,635 --> 00:07:49,603
Oh! That.
160
00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:52,540
Um, actually, it was
the Model United Nations,
161
00:07:52,573 --> 00:07:54,207
you know,
in high school.
162
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,610
Oh!
It was
a very big deal.
163
00:07:57,678 --> 00:08:00,147
Paul, between
your junior
and senior years
164
00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:02,115
you ran a re-election
campaign
165
00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:04,017
for Sheik Taranchi
of Jordan?
166
00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:05,853
That is correct.
Uh-huh.
167
00:08:06,554 --> 00:08:08,255
Jordan's a monarchy.
168
00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:10,023
They don't have elections.
169
00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:13,561
It was a grassroots
movement.
170
00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:16,564
Janelle, when do you
know you have to go
to the dentist?
171
00:08:16,664 --> 00:08:18,031
You got a little
toothache there?
172
00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:20,467
Yeah. I was... I was
chewing on my pen,
on the end of it,
173
00:08:20,568 --> 00:08:23,571
and I think I cracked
my molar right in half.
174
00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:24,572
Ahhh.
175
00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:26,940
I'll make an appointment.
Ahhh.
176
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:28,141
Ah, Nikki,
you got aspirin?
177
00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:29,376
Yeah, I do.
178
00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:30,878
I can't believe
the way you people
179
00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:31,979
lie on your resumes.
180
00:08:32,079 --> 00:08:33,914
Really? When was
the last time you typed
181
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,716
110 words per minute?
182
00:08:35,816 --> 00:08:39,587
Probably the same day
you spoke
conversational Farsi.
183
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:41,454
Look at this...
184
00:08:41,589 --> 00:08:45,325
James Leonard Hobert III
claims he can tap dance.
185
00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:47,628
(SOUND OF TAP DANCING)
186
00:09:02,610 --> 00:09:05,212
Were you considered
cool in Wisconsin?
187
00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:10,618
If you're looking
for your remotes,
188
00:09:10,718 --> 00:09:13,486
I used my glue gun
to put a strip of Velcro
on each one
189
00:09:13,621 --> 00:09:15,388
and mounted them
to the side of the TV.
190
00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:17,290
(CHUCKLING)
191
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,627
You know, I never
used to have trouble
finding my things.
192
00:09:19,727 --> 00:09:21,028
What does that mean?
193
00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:22,495
Nothing, nothing.
194
00:09:22,630 --> 00:09:24,031
I'm just pointing out
that before you cleaned
my apartment
195
00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:26,333
I knew where everything
was and you had to ask.
196
00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:29,737
Now you know where
everything is
and I have to ask.
197
00:09:29,837 --> 00:09:33,006
Come on, Paulie.
This place was a mess
before I cleaned it up.
198
00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:34,808
You know, I found a half
cream cheese sandwich...
199
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,343
Underneath the sofa
on top of the magazines.
200
00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:38,646
I know... I know
exactly where it was.
I put it there.
201
00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:39,813
It's... It's gone now!
202
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:42,115
(STAMMERS) I've...
I gotta shower.
203
00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:43,450
Honey, let me help you.
204
00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:45,819
No, no, no, no, no. I...
I can bathe myself.
205
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:49,089
Anything I can't reach
I'll just use my loofa
on a stick.
206
00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:50,958
Okay. Well, be careful.
207
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:53,560
Remember what the doctor
said about getting
your cast wet.
208
00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:55,663
PAUL: I remember.
I remember.
209
00:09:55,729 --> 00:09:57,297
Oh, and watch out
for my bird.
210
00:09:57,397 --> 00:09:58,899
I hung him
in your shower.
211
00:09:58,999 --> 00:09:59,867
What?
212
00:09:59,967 --> 00:10:01,702
(PARROT SCREECHING)
PAUL: Ahhh!
213
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:03,070
(CRASH)
214
00:10:06,373 --> 00:10:08,175
Hiya, Mike.
Back from the dentist?
215
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:10,110
Oh, this?
216
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:11,544
Bird in the shower.
217
00:10:11,645 --> 00:10:13,647
Broke all five toes
in my foot.
218
00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:16,850
MIKE: I can't
believe this guy
is my press secretary.
219
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,418
You know, when I had
my wisdom teeth out
220
00:10:18,518 --> 00:10:20,187
I was in bed
for three days,
221
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:21,855
and I had put it off,
222
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:24,324
so by the time I got it
the roots had twisted
223
00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:26,059
around and around
and around...
224
00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:27,260
MIKE: Shut up.
225
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:30,530
Shut up, shut up.
226
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,332
The apology
press conference.
It's all set up.
227
00:10:32,432 --> 00:10:35,235
And I personally invited
a hearing impaired
reporter to cover it.
228
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:36,904
Charming fellow.
229
00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:39,106
MIKE: All this Novocain
is supposed to shield me
from the pain,
230
00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:40,640
and yet I still hear him.
231
00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:42,309
There he is!
Hiya, Tim!
232
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:44,912
(HEARING IMPAIRED INTONATION)
Thank you for having me here,
Mr. Flaherty.
233
00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:46,914
(MUFFLED)
Thank you for coming.
234
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,651
(INTONATION)
What are you saying?
235
00:10:51,752 --> 00:10:53,821
(MUFFLED) What do you mean,
what am I saying?
236
00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:58,091
(INTONATION)
Are you making fun of me?
237
00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:00,728
No, I'm just
trying to tell you
238
00:11:00,828 --> 00:11:02,996
that I'm sensitive
239
00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:06,433
to the needs...
Feelings of the deaf
community.
240
00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:11,271
MIKE: Oh, no.
241
00:11:16,243 --> 00:11:18,478
Stuart, damage report.
242
00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:22,182
Engine number 4 is in flames,
and we're losing
altitude fast.
243
00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:25,652
Needless to say,
we're suspending
beverage services
244
00:11:25,753 --> 00:11:27,755
in the main cabin.
245
00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:29,923
Nikki, damage report.
246
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,992
Apparently, Ms. Edelman
has quite a bit of clout.
247
00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:34,327
She's already organized
a demonstration for tomorrow
248
00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:35,763
outside of city hall.
249
00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:37,564
She's gotten support
from every special
interest group
250
00:11:37,664 --> 00:11:39,532
that has hearing impaired
constituents.
251
00:11:39,632 --> 00:11:42,069
Check out this list, Mike.
They're all showing up.
252
00:11:42,169 --> 00:11:44,371
Hey! Gay and Lesbian
Liberation Union.
253
00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:45,939
That's me! That's me.
254
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,942
Uh, Mike, can I have
tomorrow morning off?
255
00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:51,879
So let me just
assure you
256
00:11:51,979 --> 00:11:53,781
that in the future
our screening process
for interpreters
257
00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:55,115
will be much more
thorough.
258
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:56,817
For starters,
we're gonna just go
ahead and throw in
259
00:11:56,917 --> 00:11:59,787
all the applicants
who don't actually
know sign language.
260
00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:01,221
As for
yesterday afternoon,
261
00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:03,791
I think any of you
who have had major
dental surgery
262
00:12:03,891 --> 00:12:05,826
can appreciate
what I was going through.
263
00:12:05,926 --> 00:12:07,795
Mr. Mayor, will there
be a formal reprimand
264
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:09,229
of your deputy mayor?
265
00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:10,798
This man did nothing wrong.
266
00:12:10,898 --> 00:12:12,800
I mean, have we finally
reached a point
267
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:15,936
where anything can be
taken out of context
268
00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:18,138
and cause a politically
correct house of cards
269
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:19,372
to come tumbling down?
270
00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,474
You know, it's like
that interview
I did last year
271
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:23,010
I caught all that
flack for.
272
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:26,113
What was it that I referred
to the Latino community as?
273
00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:28,515
Um... (CLEARS THROAT)
274
00:12:28,615 --> 00:12:30,317
Lateenies, sir.
275
00:12:31,819 --> 00:12:33,686
Paul, you should
see Chester.
276
00:12:33,821 --> 00:12:36,924
His feathers are ruffled,
his beak's quivering.
277
00:12:37,024 --> 00:12:39,359
He's been in attack
position all day.
278
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:41,028
You really
spooked him.
279
00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:42,329
I spooked him?
280
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,832
Jeez, that thing practically
tore my face off.
281
00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:47,467
I kept waiting for
Alfred Hitchcock
to yell "cut."
282
00:12:48,635 --> 00:12:51,238
Okay, sour puss.
I'll make this quick.
283
00:12:51,338 --> 00:12:53,506
I'm gonna
stop by the store
on my way home.
284
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:54,674
Do you want me
to pick up some more
285
00:12:54,842 --> 00:12:56,143
of those pudding packs
you like?
286
00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:57,710
No.
287
00:12:57,845 --> 00:12:59,312
No pudding packs?
288
00:12:59,412 --> 00:13:00,480
No.
289
00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:03,516
For God's sake, Paul.
What's wrong?
290
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:05,285
Claudia,
I'm 35 years old.
291
00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:08,621
I've been living
on my own for almost
four years now.
292
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:16,864
What are you
saying, Paul?
293
00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:17,931
I'm set in my ways.
294
00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:19,132
I'm not used
to having people
295
00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:20,868
hanging their pets
in my shower,
296
00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:22,435
or their...
Their clothes in my closet
297
00:13:22,535 --> 00:13:25,438
or their feminine accessories
all over my sink.
298
00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:27,474
My moisturizer?
299
00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:30,878
This morning, you know,
I mistook it
for my toothpaste.
300
00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:33,513
Now everything I eat
tastes like your neck.
301
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:38,018
I think I understand, Paul.
I'll see you tonight.
302
00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:44,324
Neck.
303
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,962
* O'er the land
304
00:13:49,062 --> 00:13:52,399
* Of the free
305
00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:56,236
* Hee!
306
00:13:57,905 --> 00:14:00,640
* And the home...*
307
00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:03,343
(SLAMS PIANO KEYS)
308
00:14:03,443 --> 00:14:06,746
Okay. Fine.
Piano, three octave range.
309
00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:09,049
Check.
310
00:14:09,149 --> 00:14:11,584
All this proves
is that you were
311
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:14,487
a lonely, geeky kid.
312
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:17,157
You know what, Stuart?
I wasn't lonely.
313
00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:19,692
I had my music.
314
00:14:21,128 --> 00:14:22,562
You know, I gotta agree
with the mayor on this.
315
00:14:22,662 --> 00:14:25,065
This P.C. thing
is just way out of control.
316
00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:26,333
I'm with Mike.
317
00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:28,068
You know, Stu, I know
you're being supportive,
318
00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:31,171
but when you do that,
it just makes me
doubt myself.
319
00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:34,574
If we have to apologize
every time
320
00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:37,244
we unintentionally
offend somebody,
where does that end?
321
00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:39,512
If I'm walking down
the street and I'm singing
322
00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:41,614
Girls Just Want To Have Fun,
323
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,850
as I often do,
324
00:14:43,951 --> 00:14:45,852
should I apologize
for suggesting
325
00:14:45,953 --> 00:14:47,754
that guys just
want to work?
326
00:14:47,854 --> 00:14:49,489
No, but you would
have to apologize
327
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:51,691
for using the term
girls instead
of women.
328
00:14:51,791 --> 00:14:53,393
There you go,
right there.
329
00:14:53,493 --> 00:14:55,562
When does a girl
become a woman?
330
00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:57,197
One day with me.
331
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:04,504
Stu, I'm begging you.
Jump to the other side.
332
00:15:04,604 --> 00:15:06,974
Give me a break, Mike.
We're a dying breed.
333
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:08,208
Who's looking out
for the white,
334
00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:10,643
middle class,
heterosexual male?
335
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,179
Congress.
336
00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:20,988
You know, Sarah,
when you told me
337
00:15:21,054 --> 00:15:24,791
not to bring Stuart
because your friends
knew sign language...
338
00:15:24,891 --> 00:15:26,893
silly me,
I took that to mean
339
00:15:26,994 --> 00:15:28,861
they'd be able
to interpret for me.
340
00:15:42,009 --> 00:15:43,243
Thank you.
341
00:15:48,815 --> 00:15:51,584
Okay. Don't worry about me.
I'll just entertain myself.
342
00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:55,022
* Oh, girls just
wanna have fun
343
00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:58,025
* That's all
they really want
344
00:15:58,058 --> 00:16:00,560
* Oh, girls just
wanna have fun
345
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:03,563
(FALSETTO VOICE)
* That's all
they really want
346
00:16:04,031 --> 00:16:06,466
* Some fun
347
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:08,601
* Come home in
the middle of the night
348
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:12,605
* My mama says
"What you gonna do
with your life?"
349
00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:15,575
* Oh, mama dear
we're not the fortunate ones
350
00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:19,179
* 'Cause girls
just wanna have fun
351
00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:21,681
* Oh, girls
just wanna have fun
352
00:16:21,781 --> 00:16:24,817
(FALSETTO)
* That's all
they really want*
353
00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:26,053
You know what?
354
00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:27,087
We should probably
talk about
355
00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:28,655
this demonstration
you're planning.
356
00:16:30,957 --> 00:16:32,592
What? What'd I do now?
357
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:42,069
All right, I get
what's going on here.
358
00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:43,403
This is...
This is very clever.
359
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:44,671
You're a...
You're teaching
me a lesson
360
00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:47,340
about what it's like
to be excluded.
361
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,576
Well, not only do
I not need that lesson,
362
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,411
I don't deserve
that lesson, all right?
363
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:53,380
So, good night.
Enjoy your dinner.
364
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,748
Wait, Mike.
Don't go.
365
00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:58,351
You can speak.
366
00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:01,921
(SARCASTICALLY)
No. You're hearing things.
367
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:08,528
Okay. Here are
your remotes...
368
00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:10,097
TV...
369
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:11,298
VCR,
370
00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:13,100
cable box,
371
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:14,267
stereo,
372
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,303
and garage door opener.
373
00:17:16,403 --> 00:17:17,504
Where are you going?
374
00:17:17,604 --> 00:17:18,771
Home. But not to worry.
375
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:21,941
I put all your dirty
laundry back on your floor,
376
00:17:22,109 --> 00:17:25,011
I sprayed a ring of filth
around your tub,
377
00:17:25,112 --> 00:17:27,580
and I even made you
a half a cream cheese sandwich
378
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,550
and put it where
I knew you'd find it.
379
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:32,552
It was nice getting
to know you, Paul.
380
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:35,522
I hope you find
true happiness someday.
381
00:17:35,622 --> 00:17:37,524
Goodbye.
Goodbye?
382
00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:38,858
PARROT: Goodbye, Paul!
383
00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:40,127
Claudia!
384
00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:43,963
Ow... Ooh!
385
00:17:44,131 --> 00:17:45,598
Claudia, Claudia,
come back.
386
00:17:45,698 --> 00:17:46,966
Come back, Claudia.
Please.
387
00:17:47,134 --> 00:17:48,368
Please don't leave me!
388
00:17:48,468 --> 00:17:50,537
Claudia, please!
I'm getting rug burns!
389
00:17:50,637 --> 00:17:52,239
Claudia! I love you!
390
00:17:52,339 --> 00:17:54,641
Oh, Claudia.
Oh, please, please!
391
00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:57,544
The apartment seems
so empty without you.
392
00:17:58,278 --> 00:18:00,447
You mean it, Paulie?
393
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:02,982
Nah, it started
out rough,
394
00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:05,952
but I gotta tell you,
Sarah and I are having
a great time.
395
00:18:06,052 --> 00:18:09,156
(WHISPERS) Yeah.
Oh, listen, I gotta go.
Here she comes. Bye.
396
00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:14,161
You don't have
to whisper, Mike.
397
00:18:14,261 --> 00:18:15,762
Sorry.
398
00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:18,331
Wait a minute...
How did you know
I was whispering?
399
00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:20,267
You make a funny face.
400
00:18:23,736 --> 00:18:25,572
You know what's great
about this?
401
00:18:25,672 --> 00:18:27,274
I don't often
get the opportunity
402
00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:29,376
to meet someone like you,
403
00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:31,978
and... And if I hadn't,
I wouldn't have known
404
00:18:32,078 --> 00:18:35,582
that you're such
a beautiful, charming,
intelligent woman.
405
00:18:36,516 --> 00:18:37,884
Say that again.
406
00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:40,052
Oh! I'm sorry.
407
00:18:40,187 --> 00:18:41,421
I was just saying
you're a beautiful,
408
00:18:41,521 --> 00:18:43,089
charming,
intelligent woman.
409
00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:45,091
I understood you.
410
00:18:45,192 --> 00:18:47,194
I wanted to
hear it again.
411
00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:52,665
Suppose I wanted
to take you out
for dinner.
412
00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:55,235
How long would
it take me to learn
sign language?
413
00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:58,205
I don't know,
uh, about a year.
414
00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:00,340
How about lunch?
415
00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:04,211
If you don't talk
with your mouth full,
416
00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:05,712
you'll be fine.
417
00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:07,580
You know,
I hate to do this,
418
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,316
but it's...
It's getting late.
419
00:19:09,416 --> 00:19:10,850
We'd better talk
about work.
420
00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:12,352
Go ahead.
421
00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:14,854
Okay. You...
You know what I think?
422
00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:18,691
I think you knew
that our administration
had no bad intentions
423
00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:20,360
towards your organization.
424
00:19:20,460 --> 00:19:23,696
You were just being
incredibly opportunistic
to further your own cause.
425
00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:25,365
So?
426
00:19:29,101 --> 00:19:32,605
So I think you have
to make a choice.
427
00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:34,006
You can either
trust me when I say
428
00:19:34,106 --> 00:19:36,443
that this mayor is good
for your organization,
429
00:19:36,543 --> 00:19:38,144
and while I can't
make any promises,
430
00:19:38,245 --> 00:19:40,580
we want to work on issues
that matter to you,
431
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,082
or you can have
your demonstration,
432
00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:45,952
draw your battle lines,
and take your chances.
433
00:19:47,754 --> 00:19:50,823
You want me
to trust you?
434
00:19:52,124 --> 00:19:54,093
Will you look
at this face?
435
00:19:56,829 --> 00:20:00,166
You want me to make
a decision right now?
436
00:20:03,736 --> 00:20:05,538
Uh, no. We...
We... We...
437
00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:07,840
We can finish
our coffee.
438
00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:16,048
New York is one of
the most progressive
cities in the world
439
00:20:16,148 --> 00:20:18,017
when it comes to
the rights of
the hearing impaired.
440
00:20:18,117 --> 00:20:21,053
But be assured
we will not be resting
on our laurels.
441
00:20:21,153 --> 00:20:23,055
We understand
your concerns,
442
00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:25,958
and I'm sure
our response is coming
in loud and clear.
443
00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:28,695
Now I don't literally
mean loud and clear.
444
00:20:28,795 --> 00:20:30,563
What I means is...
445
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:33,065
I know what
you mean.
446
00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:35,935
Thank you for
your understanding.
447
00:20:36,035 --> 00:20:37,103
Uh...
448
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:39,339
This means horny.
449
00:20:42,208 --> 00:20:43,343
Beep.
450
00:20:44,644 --> 00:20:46,112
Okay. Well.
451
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:48,448
This means horny.
452
00:20:48,548 --> 00:20:49,782
I'll make a note of that.
453
00:20:49,882 --> 00:20:52,319
(STUART LAUGHING)
454
00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:53,786
Time!
455
00:20:53,886 --> 00:20:55,455
Twenty seconds.
A new record.
456
00:20:55,555 --> 00:20:58,291
Ah. You don't know
how many women have
said that to me!
457
00:20:58,391 --> 00:21:00,927
All right, Bondek,
outta the chair.
Outta the chair.
458
00:21:01,027 --> 00:21:03,062
Mike, I gotta
go to the bathroom.
I need the chair back.
459
00:21:03,162 --> 00:21:05,932
You're gonna have to
hold it for no more
than, what? Twenty seconds.
460
00:21:06,032 --> 00:21:07,934
On your mark...
Get set...
461
00:21:08,034 --> 00:21:09,736
Hold on, Mike,
please?
Go!
462
00:21:09,836 --> 00:21:10,903
And he's off!
Flaherty looks strong.
463
00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:12,238
Coming up to
the first turn!
464
00:21:12,339 --> 00:21:14,807
Whoa! He negotiates it
with ease! Look out, pal.
465
00:21:14,907 --> 00:21:17,143
Hey, good-looking!
How you doing?
466
00:21:18,511 --> 00:21:19,746
And around we go!
467
00:21:19,846 --> 00:21:22,081
Look out, people.
Mike Flaherty,
king of the wheelchairs!
468
00:21:22,181 --> 00:21:24,351
Looking good as he goes
into the final stretch
469
00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:26,486
on his way... to...
470
00:21:30,723 --> 00:21:32,058
victory.
471
00:21:35,495 --> 00:21:37,430
You know, I'm wondering,
why do you have
the college
472
00:21:37,530 --> 00:21:38,698
that you graduated from,
473
00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:41,067
but not whether you got
a B.A. or a B.S.?
474
00:21:41,167 --> 00:21:42,835
I didn't?
Let me write that in.
475
00:21:42,935 --> 00:21:45,472
Why don't you
put down B.S.?
476
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,709
'Cause you didn't
graduate from
college, did you?
477
00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:52,545
No, I did. I did!
I was there for
four years.
478
00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:55,415
Who's gonna stay
a fifth for two lousy
gym credits?
479
00:21:55,515 --> 00:21:57,016
Certainly not the guy
who's gonna buy us beer
480
00:21:57,116 --> 00:21:58,385
for the rest of the night.
Ahhh!
481
00:22:00,420 --> 00:22:01,554
Well, that was a treat.
482
00:22:01,654 --> 00:22:03,556
Well, I do what I can.
Why is there no music?
483
00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:06,192
Hmm. Jukebox is broken.
484
00:22:06,292 --> 00:22:08,895
Say, sport, is that
gonna be much longer?
485
00:22:08,995 --> 00:22:10,229
Hey,
don't ask me, man.
486
00:22:10,397 --> 00:22:12,632
I have no idea
what I'm doing.
35769
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.