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1
00:00:08,376 --> 00:00:10,211
I just, uh, called
you in here
to let you know
2
00:00:10,311 --> 00:00:13,881
it looks like our,
uh, our parking proposal
isn't gonna fly.
3
00:00:13,981 --> 00:00:17,085
Oh, on a side note,
Stuart, your car's
being towed.
4
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:21,189
Don't bother,
it's too late.
5
00:00:21,289 --> 00:00:23,524
All right, look, I know
everybody put in a lot
of hours on this project,
6
00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:25,059
but let's not take it
personally, okay?
7
00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:27,295
City Council
is not out to get us.
8
00:00:27,395 --> 00:00:29,763
Why is everybody
smiling at me?
9
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:32,766
Mike, it's just that
it's nice to see you
leaving so early these days.
10
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:36,504
Correct me if I'm wrong,
but it's 6:00, right?
11
00:00:36,604 --> 00:00:38,172
That is when our day
usually ends.
12
00:00:38,272 --> 00:00:40,341
Uh, no, it's not.
That's when you told us
it ends when you hired us.
13
00:00:40,441 --> 00:00:41,509
(CLEARS THROAT)
14
00:00:41,609 --> 00:00:43,111
It's actually more
like 9:00 or 10:00.
15
00:00:43,211 --> 00:00:45,413
By the way, Mike,
things still going
well with Gayley?
16
00:00:45,513 --> 00:00:46,714
Gayley.
(ALL CHUCKLE)
17
00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:50,484
Okay, all right.
All right,
now I get it.
18
00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:52,786
I see. So now that
I'm finally
dating someone,
19
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,555
I'm... I 'm rushing out
of here every night.
20
00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:56,357
Let me set the record
straight, okay?
21
00:00:56,457 --> 00:00:57,625
My professional life
comes first.
22
00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:58,692
If my job required
me to be here
23
00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:00,728
at 4:00 in the morning,
I would be here.
24
00:01:00,828 --> 00:01:01,829
Uh, Mike!
25
00:01:11,539 --> 00:01:15,309
Oh, gee! Oh.
I'm sorry.
26
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:18,246
Oh, gosh,
darn it.
27
00:01:18,346 --> 00:01:21,815
Stuart, why did you
have to see me
at 6:00 exactly?
28
00:01:26,187 --> 00:01:27,388
No reason.
29
00:01:27,488 --> 00:01:29,690
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
30
00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:41,335
Who cares about
total reform?
31
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:43,171
I'm focusing on
criminal law.
32
00:01:43,271 --> 00:01:46,640
I mean, the only reason
why I took this class was
because the professor was...
33
00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:49,177
Mike, you're
doing it again.
34
00:01:49,210 --> 00:01:51,645
Doing what? what?
You're staring
at my food.
35
00:01:52,180 --> 00:01:53,247
No, I'm not.
36
00:01:54,315 --> 00:01:55,749
I'm staring
at your breasts.
37
00:01:58,586 --> 00:02:01,054
Don't try to get out of it.
38
00:02:01,189 --> 00:02:03,591
Every time we go out,
you rush through your meal
39
00:02:03,691 --> 00:02:05,726
and then you stare until
I let you finish mine.
40
00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:07,094
You know, when you say
things like that,
41
00:02:07,195 --> 00:02:09,830
I begin to think
maybe you don't
understand me.
42
00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:12,933
Are you gonna eat
those potatoes or...
43
00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:16,437
Eat up, babe,
'cause you're paying.
Excuse me?
44
00:02:16,537 --> 00:02:17,738
I won my mock trial today.
45
00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:19,106
Well, congratulations.
46
00:02:19,207 --> 00:02:20,808
But I believe our deal
was I would buy dinner
47
00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:24,545
when you won your first trial,
not your first mock trial.
48
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:27,215
For that, we'd go out
to a mock dinner.
49
00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:32,253
And, uh, maybe a little
mock dancing.
50
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:35,223
Do you know
how to mock dance?
51
00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:37,325
I'm doing it right now.
52
00:02:39,092 --> 00:02:40,928
You are so beautiful
when you do that.
53
00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:43,897
I just want to
tell you that, uh...
54
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:47,100
these last few weeks
have been really amazing.
55
00:02:47,235 --> 00:02:51,705
You know, I know we've been
going kind of slow,
56
00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:53,541
but it's been
a long time since
I've met anyone like you
57
00:02:53,641 --> 00:02:55,443
and I just didn't want
to screw things up by...
58
00:02:56,477 --> 00:02:57,878
going too fast, you know?
59
00:02:57,978 --> 00:02:59,413
You want to
get out of here?
60
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:00,781
I'll get your coat.
61
00:03:02,149 --> 00:03:04,385
Sorry, I'm late.
I had to change
my shirt and tie.
62
00:03:04,485 --> 00:03:06,554
Wow, you look great!
63
00:03:06,654 --> 00:03:08,356
Oh, Paul.
64
00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:11,825
He gets that off of
"you look great"?
65
00:03:12,726 --> 00:03:14,428
Well, he's not
just saying that.
66
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,630
You see, Paul never lies.
67
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:18,098
Don't have it in me.
68
00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:21,369
Really? What do you think
of Nikki's sweater?
69
00:03:21,469 --> 00:03:24,705
Well, for starters,
it's the wrong
color on her.
70
00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:27,107
And uh, it makes
her look boxy.
71
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:29,810
Well, good night all.
72
00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:35,949
You know, the skirt's
all wrong, too.
73
00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:43,090
See, I told you.
Every one of
Marvin Gaye's CDs.
74
00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,993
It was not just
a pick-up line.
75
00:03:46,093 --> 00:03:48,829
That's too bad,
because it was
very smooth.
76
00:03:51,365 --> 00:03:53,434
So, how about that
drink you promised me?
77
00:03:54,468 --> 00:03:56,370
Actually,
uh, that...
78
00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:57,838
That was
a pick-up line.
79
00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:00,808
I... I'm sorry,
I don't have anything.
80
00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:02,510
How about
a glass of water?
81
00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:03,911
A water?
Yeah, okay.
82
00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:06,314
Uh... brown, no ice?
83
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:08,982
Just the way
I like it.
84
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:11,051
Why don't you just
put on some music?
85
00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:12,953
Do you like Marvin Gaye?
86
00:04:13,721 --> 00:04:15,022
He's okay.
87
00:04:15,122 --> 00:04:17,124
GAYLEY: So, Mike...
88
00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:19,159
I finally get to see
your apartment.
89
00:04:19,327 --> 00:04:20,661
I have to be
honest with you,
90
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:23,130
I was beginning
to think you still
lived with your parents
91
00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:25,599
or you were
a serial killer.
92
00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:29,503
Well, I, uh...
I definitely don't
live with my parents.
93
00:04:34,575 --> 00:04:35,576
Drink?
94
00:04:37,345 --> 00:04:39,480
Still going out with
the psychiatrist tonight?
95
00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:43,351
Not a chance.
That guy put the "psycho"
in psychoanalyst.
96
00:04:43,384 --> 00:04:46,053
The night would have
been a total loss
except he did
97
00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:49,056
tell me a sure-fire way
to mentally dominate people.
98
00:04:49,156 --> 00:04:52,059
My grandpa
always did that
by using the evil eye.
99
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,128
Bring me my soup.
100
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:01,369
Change the channel
on my television.
101
00:05:01,435 --> 00:05:03,637
Well, I can
certainly see how
he hooked Grandma.
102
00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:06,974
You guys,
I am serious.
103
00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:09,209
He said this
is a great tool
to use in business.
104
00:05:09,377 --> 00:05:12,380
He said the first step is
you just ignore the person.
105
00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:14,948
Oh, come on,
human beings just
aren't that simple.
106
00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:16,684
Mmm, yep, they are.
107
00:05:16,784 --> 00:05:18,386
Yes, they are what?
108
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:21,755
What's her problem?
109
00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:23,156
I don't know.
110
00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:25,559
Why should she be
angry with me?
What did I do? Hey, Nikki!
111
00:05:26,394 --> 00:05:27,628
Nikki!
112
00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:29,597
MIKE: I just wanted
to give you
the grand tour.
113
00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:33,501
This... This is
actually just
the, uh, foyer.
114
00:05:33,601 --> 00:05:35,769
You see that door
over there that
looks like a closet?
115
00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:38,439
That's the east wing.
116
00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:41,842
You got your
dining room, parlor,
bowling alley.
117
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:43,877
And over there?
118
00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:46,213
Uh, that's the...
That's the bedroom.
119
00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:48,582
Uh, rug, dresser,
alarm clock.
120
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:49,883
Bed.
121
00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:51,218
Bed.
122
00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:53,687
Hence, bedroom.
123
00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:58,058
Geez, you'd think
I'd never brought
a woman up here before.
124
00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:00,428
Now wait,
not that I...
125
00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:02,463
you know,
bring a lot
of women up here.
126
00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:05,733
I mean, you know,
just enough
so that I don't look pitiful.
127
00:06:08,068 --> 00:06:11,304
But... But not so many
that I look sleazy.
128
00:06:12,172 --> 00:06:13,907
And how many is that?
129
00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:16,076
Uh, let me see. Uh...
130
00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:17,845
(MUTTERS)
131
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,049
None.
132
00:06:22,149 --> 00:06:24,885
It's been a while
since I dated
anyone...
133
00:06:25,653 --> 00:06:26,720
seriously.
134
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:38,499
But I'm feeling much
better about it now.
135
00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:41,469
Uh, listen, since
you did pay
for the grand tour,
136
00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:43,771
if I didn't show you
the bedroom,
137
00:06:43,871 --> 00:06:47,340
they'd probably take
away my National Parks
license.
138
00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:49,510
You, uh...
139
00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:52,580
sure you want
to go in there?
(CHUCKLES)
140
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,748
You sound like there's
somebody waiting
on the other side
141
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:55,949
holding a pie.
142
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:57,751
No.
143
00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:00,521
Not this time.
144
00:07:06,694 --> 00:07:08,061
Um...
145
00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:11,131
You think
you remember
how this works?
146
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:14,367
Uh, I figure
it's like
riding a bike.
147
00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:18,405
I mean,
I may fall off
a few times,
148
00:07:18,506 --> 00:07:22,510
but after a few minutes
I'll be standing
on the handle bars.
149
00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:29,282
Well, it's just
so nice to finally
meet one of Mike's
150
00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:31,018
young lady friends.
151
00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:33,587
Just so lovely.
152
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:37,925
Mom, Dad, you're
embarrassing me.
153
00:07:38,025 --> 00:07:39,760
Well, we approve.
154
00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:41,061
Special, special,
special.
155
00:07:43,664 --> 00:07:45,933
Well, I... I have to
get going to class.
156
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:47,400
It was nice
meeting all of you.
157
00:07:47,535 --> 00:07:49,570
You be careful.
You kids be safe.
158
00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:54,207
She's pretty cool,
don't you think?
159
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,777
I'm sure I've met her
somewhere before.
160
00:07:56,877 --> 00:07:58,746
Do you think
she seems familiar
'cause she's a woman
161
00:07:58,846 --> 00:08:00,748
and she doesn't
want anything
to do with you?
162
00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:07,555
Let's not forget, guys,
tonight is Councilman Farr's
bachelor party.
163
00:08:07,621 --> 00:08:10,591
He's been a good friend
to the administration,
so attendance is mandatory.
164
00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:13,561
Uh, bachelor party, Mike?
I've got a note
from my mother.
165
00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:15,663
It says I'm gay,
and I shouldn't be
forced to participate
166
00:08:15,763 --> 00:08:17,698
in any heterosexual
debauchery.
167
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:21,602
You know, unless you
actually have that note...
168
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:24,171
you're going tonight.
169
00:08:24,271 --> 00:08:26,640
Well, I think
bachelor parties
are pathetic excuses
170
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:28,041
for men to act
like little boys,
171
00:08:28,141 --> 00:08:30,644
because even though
they're about to get
married, hello,
172
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:33,446
they're still afraid
of commitment. I refuse
to be a part of it.
173
00:08:33,581 --> 00:08:35,916
Well, that's great,
'cause you're
not invited.
174
00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:38,151
Why not?
175
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:39,386
James, what's
your excuse?
176
00:08:39,486 --> 00:08:41,622
You mean
I can go? Yes!
177
00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:45,458
Come in.
178
00:08:45,593 --> 00:08:47,227
Hey there,
funny face.
179
00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:48,729
Can I treat
you to dinner?
180
00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:51,064
(MOUTHS)
181
00:08:51,164 --> 00:08:54,167
Uh, dinner, no.
I can't have dinner
tonight because, uh...
182
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:56,870
I'm not hungry.
I had a big lunch.
183
00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:01,508
You said all you had
for lunch was a bagel.
184
00:09:01,609 --> 00:09:04,612
Bagels, bagels!
with an "s," bagels.
185
00:09:04,712 --> 00:09:06,880
Well, how many bagels
did you have?
186
00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:08,081
Eleven.
187
00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:10,483
Oh, my goodness!
were you in some
kind of contest?
188
00:09:10,618 --> 00:09:13,520
No, no.
I was just...
Just hungry.
189
00:09:13,621 --> 00:09:15,388
Oh, okay.
Well, no dinner.
190
00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:16,957
Do you wanna just
go to the movies?
191
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:20,160
You see, I can't,
because I'm going out
with the guys tonight.
192
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:21,428
We're going to
a hockey game.
193
00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:23,063
Oh. who's playing?
194
00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:26,634
It's so tough to tell
because they're all...
They're wearing masks.
195
00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:31,872
It's okay if you want
to spend a night out
with the guys.
196
00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:34,642
I... I'm sorry.
I'm just... I'm
a little on edge.
197
00:09:34,742 --> 00:09:36,677
I must be hungry...
Uh, thirsty.
198
00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:39,412
I must be thirsty.
I must be thirsty.
199
00:09:39,512 --> 00:09:41,348
Okay. So you'll
call me in
the morning?
200
00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:43,083
You betcha. Okay.
Love you.
201
00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:44,818
I love you.
Okay, bye-bye.
202
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,321
Eh, piece of cake.
203
00:09:51,659 --> 00:09:53,093
(MUSIC PLAYING)
204
00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:54,695
I wish Nikki
were here.
205
00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:56,529
Oh, yeah,
that would make
us seem less pathetic,
206
00:09:56,664 --> 00:09:58,031
if we had
a woman with us.
207
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:03,036
No. I wish Nikki
were here!
208
00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:05,906
(MAKES A WOLF CALL)
209
00:10:15,916 --> 00:10:19,352
That's it.
That's enough. He's, uh...
He's all through now.
210
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:20,788
Thank you.
Thank you.
211
00:10:20,888 --> 00:10:22,555
Terrific girl.
Wonderful dancer.
212
00:10:22,656 --> 00:10:24,124
She really
kept up with me.
213
00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:27,060
Listen, Paul,
management
sent me over.
214
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:29,396
They, uh... They don't
encourage dancing along
with the performers.
215
00:10:29,496 --> 00:10:31,164
Well, what am
I supposed to do?
216
00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:33,333
Just sit here
and watch?
217
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:35,903
Welcome to the concept
of a strip club.
218
00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:38,939
How are you
gentlemen doing?
219
00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:39,807
Ha-ha!
220
00:10:39,907 --> 00:10:41,742
Yep, this is
fascinating.
221
00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:46,179
It's as if the
evolutionary process
had a rewind button.
222
00:10:46,279 --> 00:10:49,482
Listen, I figure we got
about 15 more minutes
to press to the flesh here.
223
00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:51,084
Stewy, that's just
a figure of speech.
224
00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:54,221
Find Councilman Farr,
buy him a drink,
and let's get out of here.
225
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:55,422
All right.
226
00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:56,589
ANNOUNCER: Gentlemen,
anything you say or do
227
00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:58,258
will not be used
against you.
228
00:10:58,358 --> 00:11:01,762
So, put your hands together
for Ms. Miranda Rice.
229
00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:03,731
STUART: Whoo!
230
00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:05,098
(CROWD CHEERING)
231
00:11:14,808 --> 00:11:16,744
See, I told you
I knew her.
232
00:11:22,783 --> 00:11:24,752
Mike, apparently,
someone tipped
off The Post.
233
00:11:24,852 --> 00:11:27,187
There was
a photographer at
the club last night.
234
00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:28,856
Great. I'll look
at the pictures
later, Janelle.
235
00:11:28,956 --> 00:11:31,024
Right now, let's just
plaster on a couple
of fake smiles
236
00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:32,392
and keep moving.
237
00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:33,660
You okay?
238
00:11:33,761 --> 00:11:34,928
Oh, I'm fine.
I'm just hoping this
doesn't blow up
239
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:36,463
into some kind
of monster.
240
00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:38,832
Hey, Flaherty,
you got five bucks?
241
00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:40,367
MIKE: Sure, you want
to borrow it?
242
00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:42,035
No, I wanna earn it!
243
00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:44,571
Boom diddy
boom diddy
boom boom boom.
244
00:11:44,671 --> 00:11:46,840
Tchoo-tchoo-tchoo
tchoo-tchoo.
245
00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:49,777
Chh chh chh chh! Ffff!
246
00:11:53,781 --> 00:11:55,983
Save it for
the GIs, Roberta.
247
00:11:58,118 --> 00:11:59,286
God help me.
248
00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:03,490
Mike, you're gonna
have to talk to
her eventually.
249
00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:06,493
I tried talking
to her last night
at the club.
250
00:12:06,593 --> 00:12:08,095
But it was
20 bucks a song,
251
00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:10,430
the music was blasting...
252
00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:12,632
So basically
it cost me 100 bucks,
253
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:16,169
and all I could make
out was "toot toot...
ahh... beep beep."
254
00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:20,440
Twenty bucks
a song. That's
pretty good money.
255
00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:22,509
Can men do this?
256
00:12:22,609 --> 00:12:25,112
Ah, men, yes.
You, no.
257
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:28,048
This is a tough one, Mike.
What are you gonna do?
258
00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:31,018
What's he gonna do?
He's dating a stripper.
259
00:12:31,118 --> 00:12:32,820
He's gonna
get down on his
hands and knees
260
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,055
and worship
the ground
she gyrates on.
261
00:12:36,824 --> 00:12:38,992
I can't believe
she lied to me.
262
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:41,294
We're not talking about
"I had to wash my hair."
263
00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:42,729
We're talking about
264
00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:46,166
"I had to wash my hair
in front of 150 paying
customers."
265
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:49,436
I think it's over.
I... I don't think I can
see her anymore.
266
00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:50,570
Too expensive?
267
00:12:58,645 --> 00:13:01,048
All right, Stuart.
now you're in that
very scary place
268
00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:03,116
I like to call
the "be careful" zone.
269
00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:06,619
Maybe you should give
it more thought, Mike.
270
00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:09,389
Just can't believe
she's gonna be
out of my life.
271
00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:11,124
(LOUD SCRIBBLING)
272
00:13:13,861 --> 00:13:15,428
"You can always
visit her at work."
273
00:13:21,734 --> 00:13:22,970
(INAUDIBLE)
274
00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:26,273
Gotta be honest.
I'm a little
disappointed, Mike.
275
00:13:26,373 --> 00:13:29,542
Well, sir,
we obviously
had no idea
276
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,044
the press were
gonna show up.
277
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,380
What? No, no, no,
I'm disappointed
you made me leave.
278
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,649
Looks like you guys
were having a hell
of a time here.
279
00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:38,618
So, why don't we call
a press conference
for this afternoon.
280
00:13:38,718 --> 00:13:40,888
I'll face the music.
I'll answer, you know,
a few questions.
281
00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:43,623
I'll do whatever
I have to make sure
this stays a one-day story.
282
00:13:43,723 --> 00:13:45,893
Well, welcome
to the public eye.
283
00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:47,660
You two do make
a handsome couple,
though.
284
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,997
The only thing
you can see in that
picture is her stomach.
285
00:13:50,097 --> 00:13:51,598
Well, still...
286
00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:56,236
Good morning,
sweetheart!
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
287
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:58,671
So, how was your
game last night?
288
00:13:58,771 --> 00:14:01,909
Can I have a little time
to think about that
before I answer?
289
00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:03,944
Oh, sure!
290
00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:07,647
And while you're
thinking, maybe you
might wanna read the paper.
291
00:14:12,419 --> 00:14:15,455
Mike made me go,
and then Stuart made
me lie to you.
292
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:18,091
And who made you
ogle that woman?
293
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,193
Well, it would have
been rude
not to look at her!
294
00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:22,195
She's dancing
in my lap!
295
00:14:24,131 --> 00:14:26,833
Paul, it's all the lying
that's bothering me.
296
00:14:26,934 --> 00:14:28,501
I mean, you're
a grown man.
297
00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:32,172
You're allowed to enjoy
yourself with your
sleazy, juvenile friends.
298
00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:33,473
Good morning, Claudia.
299
00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:36,276
Stuart.
300
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:38,145
Hey, buddy, you got
a little sweat on
your brow there.
301
00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:42,950
All right,
here's my plan.
302
00:14:43,050 --> 00:14:44,817
I'm meeting her
in a couple hours
at Nathan's.
303
00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:47,554
I'll break up
with her there.
304
00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:49,156
The hot dog place.
305
00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:53,493
What, you couldn't
get a reservation
at McDonald's?
306
00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:57,397
Carter, it's neutral
territory.
307
00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:59,499
There's no chance
for a scene.
308
00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:01,834
It'll give me
a couple hours
to get prepared.
309
00:15:01,969 --> 00:15:03,536
Unless she
shows up early.
310
00:15:04,871 --> 00:15:06,373
Ooh, look at the time!
311
00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:09,376
You're not wearing
your watch.
312
00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:11,344
Ooh! I'm gonna
go find it.
313
00:15:14,847 --> 00:15:18,485
I got your message.
I thought I would
come by now.
314
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:19,652
Well...
315
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,754
you and your surprises!
316
00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:25,525
Mike, let me start
by saying I'm sorry.
317
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:26,793
It's no big deal.
318
00:15:26,893 --> 00:15:28,861
Besides, my mother
has been bugging
me all year
319
00:15:28,996 --> 00:15:29,997
for a new picture.
320
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:37,070
I'm not going
to apologize for
what I'm doing.
321
00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:39,572
I used this job
to get through college,
322
00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:41,908
and now I'm halfway
through law school.
323
00:15:42,009 --> 00:15:45,645
I work at a safe place.
I'm comfortable
with my body,
324
00:15:45,745 --> 00:15:48,515
and for the first time
in my life, I am
making great money.
325
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:51,584
Hell, I made
100 bucks off you!
326
00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:54,821
See, this is exactly
the kind of thing
327
00:15:54,921 --> 00:15:57,424
I needed a couple
of hours to get
prepared for.
328
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,061
Okay, look. I...
329
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:06,499
I guess I just never...
pictured myself
with a...
330
00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:11,304
with the kind of
woman who dances
in a strip club.
331
00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:14,074
I guess I never
saw myself
332
00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:16,043
with a guy who
frequents them.
333
00:16:17,244 --> 00:16:19,179
Yeah, well, I was
there for my job.
334
00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:20,480
So was I.
335
00:16:22,049 --> 00:16:25,118
You had to know
the position you
were putting me in.
336
00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:26,619
I know. I'm sorry.
337
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:28,655
You're right.
I'm just being
defensive.
338
00:16:28,755 --> 00:16:30,090
It's all my fault.
339
00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:33,060
I should have
told you everything
in the first place, but I...
340
00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:34,561
didn't wanna lose you.
341
00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:39,966
Mike...
I'm crazy about you.
342
00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:41,868
(SIGHS)
343
00:16:43,770 --> 00:16:46,073
All right, go on.
You're in kind of
a good area there.
344
00:16:50,077 --> 00:16:53,113
Have you ever been
with someone
345
00:16:53,213 --> 00:16:55,582
and it's so intense
and so passionate
346
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:59,452
that it feels like
a fireball,
347
00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:02,655
and whenever
you're within five feet
of that person,
348
00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:04,724
you feel like
you have to...
349
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:15,302
I hope you were
gonna say
kiss them,
350
00:17:15,402 --> 00:17:16,869
or I'll feel like
a complete idiot.
351
00:17:18,105 --> 00:17:19,106
It's conference time.
352
00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:20,140
MIKE: Uh, yeah, okay.
353
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,109
Mike, wait.
What are we saying here?
354
00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:25,512
I'm saying, uh,
I'll be back in
a couple of minutes.
355
00:17:29,516 --> 00:17:31,118
She seems to be
taking it well.
356
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:36,723
Mike, Mike,
do you have any
comment at all
357
00:17:36,823 --> 00:17:38,725
about the
appropriateness
of city employees
358
00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:41,628
frequenting
these kinds of
establishments?
359
00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:43,996
No, I don't.
360
00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:47,934
How did Councilman Farr's
fiancee feel about this?
361
00:17:48,034 --> 00:17:51,003
Well, technically,
she's no longer his fiancee.
362
00:17:53,039 --> 00:17:55,975
Uh, I understand
the both of them
are in counseling,
363
00:17:56,143 --> 00:17:57,810
and we wish them the best.
364
00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:00,913
What about rumors
that you're dating
one of the strippers?
365
00:18:01,148 --> 00:18:04,684
You know that in
a perfect world, that's
none of your damn business.
366
00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:06,953
But we all know we don't
live in a perfect world
367
00:18:07,053 --> 00:18:09,289
and you people tend
to like things in terms
of black and white...
368
00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:10,990
Excuse me, Mike.
369
00:18:11,158 --> 00:18:13,260
James, do you mind?
I'm kinda hitting
a high point here.
370
00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:16,263
I... I think you
should read this.
371
00:18:18,398 --> 00:18:20,400
Uh, sir, can you
cover for me?
372
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:22,034
Sure, yeah.
not a problem.
373
00:18:22,169 --> 00:18:23,436
ALL: Mr. Mayor!
Mr. Mayor!
374
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:25,572
No, no, no!
We need some order here,
and we're gonna get it!
375
00:18:25,672 --> 00:18:28,708
I'm responding to the
questions alphabetically.
376
00:18:30,009 --> 00:18:32,479
Now, anyone
whose last name
starts with an "A,"
377
00:18:32,579 --> 00:18:34,647
hands up.
378
00:18:34,747 --> 00:18:37,550
Don't get me wrong this is...
This is a really cute note,
379
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:38,818
but I'm kind of
working out there.
380
00:18:38,918 --> 00:18:40,653
Mike, what are
you doing in there?
381
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:42,222
I mean, right now
it's just a couple
382
00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:44,624
of embarrassing
pictures from
a bachelor party,
383
00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:46,193
but before you
start jeopardizing
your career,
384
00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:49,229
don't you think
we should finish
our conversation?
385
00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:52,599
We did finish
our conversation.
We kissed.
386
00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:54,934
That's the way I end
all my conversations.
387
00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:58,705
Now if you let me go
I'll go back in there,
I'll finish up, I'll...
388
00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:02,342
kiss all the
reporters and...
come back out here.
389
00:19:02,442 --> 00:19:05,212
You never told me
how you feel
about what I do.
390
00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:07,880
Now?
391
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:10,383
Yeah, now.
392
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:14,887
Okay, look, I... I just
always pictured myself
with a woman who...
393
00:19:15,955 --> 00:19:18,791
would get undressed
at the end of the day.
394
00:19:21,228 --> 00:19:25,064
I pretty much assumed
the rest of the day
she'd stay dressed.
395
00:19:25,232 --> 00:19:28,301
Is this a problem
that we can't
get over?
396
00:19:29,236 --> 00:19:30,903
Well, I guess we'll
find out eventually.
397
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,739
That's an awful
big chance to take
398
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:34,674
considering
the consequences.
399
00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:36,142
Yeah, well,
you know what, though?
400
00:19:36,243 --> 00:19:38,345
I think it's a chance
that I'm... I'm...
401
00:19:38,445 --> 00:19:40,880
you know,
pretty sure I...
402
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:43,950
I definitely maybe
want to take.
403
00:19:45,352 --> 00:19:47,620
Geez, Mike, get
down on one knee
and say that,
404
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,689
and I'm yours forever.
405
00:19:49,789 --> 00:19:52,325
You're right,
you're right. You know
what? I'm ready.
406
00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:53,826
I am ready.
407
00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:57,364
I'm sure a part
of you is ready.
408
00:19:58,998 --> 00:20:01,568
But I think
that there is
another part of you
409
00:20:01,668 --> 00:20:05,472
that would find it
a lot easier if I
just walked away.
410
00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:08,040
Yeah, but the part
of me that's ready
411
00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:10,977
is like really,
really ready.
412
00:20:12,579 --> 00:20:14,481
And the part
of you that's not?
413
00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:16,115
We don't listen to him.
414
00:20:23,290 --> 00:20:24,524
He's Mr. Negativity.
415
00:20:29,696 --> 00:20:31,664
I don't know.
this...
416
00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:33,099
This is hard.
417
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:37,270
What... What do you think
we should do?
418
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:40,507
As I understand it,
419
00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:42,642
the boys were unaware that
this particular establishment
420
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,511
featured adult entertainment.
421
00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:49,282
Okay, uh... "G."
422
00:20:51,284 --> 00:20:55,422
Didn't the big neon
sign tip them off?
423
00:20:55,522 --> 00:20:58,157
Unfortunately, one of
the letters had burned out.
424
00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:01,628
And what exactly
did they expect to find
425
00:21:01,728 --> 00:21:04,331
in a 100% nud bar?
426
00:21:06,833 --> 00:21:08,401
Pure nud.
427
00:21:10,002 --> 00:21:11,938
ALL: Mike. Mike.
428
00:21:12,972 --> 00:21:15,174
Mike, just clear up
one thing.
429
00:21:15,342 --> 00:21:18,711
Are you or are you not
currently dating
one of the dancers?
430
00:21:18,811 --> 00:21:22,181
If your question is
am I dating a beautiful,
431
00:21:22,349 --> 00:21:24,884
attractive law student
who happens to have a...
432
00:21:24,984 --> 00:21:28,955
part-time job in the legal
and lucrative world
of exotic dancing...
433
00:21:30,357 --> 00:21:33,092
Uh... Uh... no.
434
00:21:33,660 --> 00:21:35,027
No, I'm not.
435
00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:38,130
Okay, what letter
are we on?
436
00:21:38,865 --> 00:21:40,166
H.
H, H.
437
00:21:40,266 --> 00:21:41,801
Okay, let's get moving
or we'll be here
all night.
438
00:21:41,901 --> 00:21:43,135
Yeah, Halford.
439
00:21:44,371 --> 00:21:47,474
I don't know.
He hardly seems dominated.
440
00:21:47,574 --> 00:21:50,276
Huh. Prepare for phase 2,
441
00:21:50,377 --> 00:21:51,711
the whisper and deny.
442
00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:53,380
What?
Come here.
443
00:21:53,446 --> 00:21:54,981
(WHISPERING)
444
00:21:56,248 --> 00:21:57,884
What? what?
What are you
talking about?
445
00:21:58,618 --> 00:22:00,987
Nothing, Stuart.
446
00:22:03,523 --> 00:22:05,725
What did she just...
What did she
just say to you?
447
00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:07,460
You're a feeble-minded fool.
448
00:22:11,798 --> 00:22:13,265
Granted. Now,
what did she say?
34169
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