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1
00:00:06,774 --> 00:00:08,542
I know I've said it before
but, this time,
I really mean it.
2
00:00:08,642 --> 00:00:11,011
We don't have time
for any more questions.
3
00:00:11,112 --> 00:00:12,513
Yes, you in the back.
4
00:00:12,613 --> 00:00:14,948
This is regarding
Mayor Winston
and Holly Cohen
5
00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:16,184
from the governor's
office.
6
00:00:16,284 --> 00:00:17,351
They work together, yes.
7
00:00:17,451 --> 00:00:18,986
They were seen last night
at a restaurant
8
00:00:19,087 --> 00:00:21,789
eating oysters
with an expensive
bottle of Cabernet.
9
00:00:21,889 --> 00:00:24,658
Do you think Mrs. Winston
would approve of this?
10
00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:26,060
Absolutely not.
11
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:29,797
No, she would never order
red wine with seafood. No.
12
00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:31,265
How do you respond
to the rumors
13
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:33,734
that the mayor is
romantically involved
with Ms. Cohen?
14
00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:34,935
How do I respond?
15
00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:37,705
How do I respond?
16
00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:40,874
How do I respond?
17
00:00:40,974 --> 00:00:41,942
Excuse me.
18
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:44,412
Excuse me, Hamlet.
19
00:00:44,512 --> 00:00:46,947
I cannot believe
what I'm hearing.
20
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:50,284
So, you actually
spied on the mayor
during dinner.
21
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:51,619
So, what's the scoop?
22
00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:54,622
What, did the mayor have
parmesan cheese
on his pasta?
23
00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:56,457
Did he have cream
in his coffee?
24
00:00:56,557 --> 00:01:00,194
And if not,
what the hell
is he hiding?
25
00:01:00,928 --> 00:01:01,895
But, Mike...
26
00:01:01,995 --> 00:01:03,264
No, this is pathetic.
27
00:01:03,364 --> 00:01:05,266
The mayor
is a happily
married man,
28
00:01:05,366 --> 00:01:06,634
and you have no story.
29
00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:09,770
Nothing, zip, nada,
the big bagel.
30
00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:12,673
Which, coincidentally,
is what the mayor
had for breakfast.
31
00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:14,608
No cream cheese,
32
00:01:14,708 --> 00:01:16,410
but you probably
already guessed that.
33
00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:18,746
They can be
like dogs, Mike.
34
00:01:18,846 --> 00:01:23,351
Bad reporters!
Bad! Bad reporters!
35
00:01:23,451 --> 00:01:25,186
Here you go, champ.
36
00:01:25,853 --> 00:01:26,987
Good, Paul.
37
00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:31,892
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
38
00:01:40,368 --> 00:01:42,370
ALL: Happy birthday,
Mayor Winston,
39
00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:45,173
from all of us
at Monday Night Football.
40
00:01:45,273 --> 00:01:46,274
You're the boss,
Mayor.
41
00:01:46,374 --> 00:01:47,741
Yeah. Don't let anybody
push you around.
42
00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:49,577
And this is
your year, big guy.
43
00:01:49,677 --> 00:01:51,845
Don't take
any crap.
Yeah.
44
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,181
(TURNS OFF TV)
45
00:01:53,247 --> 00:01:55,082
I'm telling you,
whoever came up
with this idea
46
00:01:55,183 --> 00:01:57,017
of having celebrities
wish the mayor happy birthday
47
00:01:57,185 --> 00:01:58,085
is a genius.
48
00:01:58,186 --> 00:01:59,620
Mike, you thought of it.
49
00:02:00,488 --> 00:02:02,690
Oh, my gosh, you're right.
50
00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:04,392
So, we're going to still
go through with the party,
51
00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:05,593
even with all this stuff
52
00:02:05,693 --> 00:02:06,794
about the mayor's
love life floating around?
53
00:02:06,894 --> 00:02:08,862
We want the governor
to give us a bigger piece
54
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:11,399
of the federal subsidy for
special education programs,
55
00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:14,202
so the mayor and Nikki,
yes, Nikki,
56
00:02:14,302 --> 00:02:15,669
are working
with Ms. Cohen,
57
00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:17,238
yes, working with her,
58
00:02:17,338 --> 00:02:18,406
in order to make
that happen.
59
00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:19,540
End of story.
60
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:20,874
Actually, Mike, once
we finished streamlining
61
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,410
the existing
special ed budget,
62
00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:24,212
the mayor kind of
took me out of the loop.
63
00:02:24,245 --> 00:02:25,746
Apparently, he wanted to be
64
00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:28,282
more hands-on
with the project.
65
00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:31,319
It's the mayor's
50th birthday,
66
00:02:31,419 --> 00:02:34,588
and we're not going
to dignify the press's
sleazy tabloid mentality
67
00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,990
by changing the way
we do things around here.
68
00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:40,027
Nikki, I see you sent
John F. Kennedy Jr. an invite.
69
00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:41,995
Yeah, if he was on the list,
I'm sure he got one.
70
00:02:42,095 --> 00:02:43,597
So, you felt it necessary
to send him one
71
00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:45,566
every day for the past
three weeks?
72
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,968
I like to be
thorough, Mike.
73
00:02:48,068 --> 00:02:49,837
So, you followed it up
with a phone call
to his apartment
74
00:02:49,937 --> 00:02:51,839
last Saturday
at 1:00 a.m.?
75
00:02:52,373 --> 00:02:53,374
Maybe.
76
00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:56,944
Hey, Nik,
don't get me wrong, uh,
77
00:02:57,044 --> 00:03:00,481
I like the Kennedy men
as much as the next gal,
78
00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:02,049
but let's not use
the mayor's birthday
79
00:03:02,149 --> 00:03:03,851
to further our own
personal agendas.
80
00:03:04,252 --> 00:03:05,253
Stalker.
81
00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:07,955
Stuart,
don't make me
bring up
82
00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:09,957
the Connie Chung
restraining order.
83
00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:17,265
Okay, guest list, check.
84
00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:18,499
Birthday videos?
85
00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:19,700
Yeah, we're editing
those together
86
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,270
as soon as we get
Stephanopoulos.
87
00:03:22,370 --> 00:03:23,571
We're playing
phone tag.
88
00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:24,705
You're aware
of the fact that
89
00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:25,973
in order to play
phone tag with somebody,
90
00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:27,941
they have to actually
call you back.
91
00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:30,278
I'm telling you, Mike,
I know Steph.
92
00:03:30,378 --> 00:03:31,345
We're like this.
93
00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:32,646
Hey, Mike,
I've been playing
phone tag
94
00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:34,682
with Michelle Pfeiffer
and Cindy Crawford.
95
00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:36,384
Oh, yeah, and Santa.
96
00:03:37,485 --> 00:03:38,586
Hey,
Mayor Winston...
97
00:03:38,686 --> 00:03:39,653
Happy birthday...
98
00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:42,290
From the cast
of Rent.
99
00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:44,825
The cast of Rent,
and they just say
happy birthday?
100
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:46,827
I mean,
what's the message?
101
00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:48,329
What are we trying
to say there?
102
00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:51,932
I think we're trying
to say happy birthday.
103
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,035
What the hell's with you?
104
00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:56,870
Let's just throw
these things together,
so we can get out of here.
105
00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:59,640
I, uh...I don't want
to pull rank on you,
106
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,975
but I almost went
to film school.
107
00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:07,848
It's interesting.
You know, I almost give a...
108
00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:10,318
Ah! Ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh...
109
00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:13,954
Let us try to channel
that hostility
into the project.
110
00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:15,456
And action.
111
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,365
Happy birthday,
Mayor Winston.
112
00:04:24,465 --> 00:04:26,600
I love you, man!
113
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,101
MAN: Great job,
Patrick.
114
00:04:28,201 --> 00:04:30,638
Why am I even doing this?
I don't even like the guy.
115
00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:32,005
All he talks about
is the Yankees.
116
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:35,643
Yankees this,
Yankees that.
Get a life!
117
00:04:35,743 --> 00:04:36,844
I'm just going to edit
that last part out.
118
00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:39,179
No, no, no.
Some honesty.
119
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:40,481
Finally.
120
00:04:41,349 --> 00:04:42,550
This, I can use.
121
00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:47,721
STUART: Mike,
you have to relax.
122
00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:49,022
When I worked for
Congressman Malins,
123
00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:50,691
the press printed
lots of stories
124
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,159
that said he cheated
on his wife.
125
00:04:52,259 --> 00:04:55,629
Yeah, because he did,
and the scandal
killed his career.
126
00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:57,365
True, but I ended up
working here,
127
00:04:57,398 --> 00:05:00,033
and now I make
a lot more money.
128
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,502
No, no, no,
it's pretty simple.
129
00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:03,904
See, we just take
1.5 million out
of operating costs
130
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:06,707
and reclassify it
as transportation expense.
131
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:07,941
Says right here.
132
00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:09,510
See that? Nothing.
133
00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:10,611
HOLLY:
That's the answer?
134
00:05:10,711 --> 00:05:12,746
This is so exciting!
135
00:05:13,614 --> 00:05:14,682
Yeah, I guess so.
136
00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:17,885
What?
137
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:19,620
Well, nothing,
it's just...
138
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:21,489
You were made
to wear that suit.
139
00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:24,224
You're saying
I look good, right?
140
00:05:24,392 --> 00:05:25,793
Because nobody
forced me to wear this.
141
00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:27,961
I pick out
all my own clothes.
142
00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:30,163
Funny, too.
Oh...
143
00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:31,932
You've got
the whole package.
144
00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:34,468
He wants her.
(EXHALES)
145
00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:37,237
George didn't leave
my name for you, huh?
146
00:05:37,405 --> 00:05:40,408
I'm not some pathetic
groupie, you know.
I know the man.
147
00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:43,310
Look at me!
148
00:05:43,411 --> 00:05:44,612
Steph!
(HIGH-PITCHED RINGING)
149
00:05:44,712 --> 00:05:45,746
Steph!
150
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:46,814
Steph!
151
00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:48,749
What? Oh, hey!
Oh, hey, Steph!
152
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:49,983
Paul, how you doing?
Good to see you.
153
00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:51,585
Hey, man,
good to see you.
154
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:52,786
Listen, sorry I'm late.
155
00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:54,154
I'm doing this
commentator thing
over at ABC now.
156
00:05:54,254 --> 00:05:55,856
Oh, yeah,
I wouldn't know
about that,
157
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:57,491
I don't watch
that network.
158
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,428
You know, Paul,
I really wanted
to see you
159
00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:02,229
because we're
old friends,
but I got to tell you,
160
00:06:02,329 --> 00:06:03,464
I kind of hoped
you'd gotten
161
00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:04,665
this competitive
stuff behind you.
162
00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:07,167
You're right, because
you're you and I'm me,
163
00:06:07,267 --> 00:06:09,603
regardless of
the speaker's fees
or the book deal...
164
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,872
Come on, Paul.
You know, we're
both doing well.
165
00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:13,441
So, what do you need?
166
00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:15,543
Well, see,
it's the mayor's
50th birthday.
167
00:06:15,643 --> 00:06:18,011
You know, I'm sort of
his right-hand man,
like you used to be
168
00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:21,014
with, um...
What's his... Um...
169
00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:22,082
Bill Clinton?
170
00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:23,684
Clinton. Clinton.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
171
00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:24,918
The president?
172
00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:26,554
The president. Whatever.
Titles are titles, yeah.
173
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,188
You're doing it again.
174
00:06:28,288 --> 00:06:31,625
You're right.
You're right.
The party. Okay.
175
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,561
It would really be
a great favor to me
if you would...
176
00:06:33,661 --> 00:06:34,562
Then I'd love to.
177
00:06:34,662 --> 00:06:36,597
Whatever you need, Paul.
You know that.
178
00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:38,098
Really?
Sure.
179
00:06:38,198 --> 00:06:40,033
Oh, thank you, man.
That's great.
Sure.
180
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:42,135
Listen, Steph, let me just
ask you something.
181
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:44,204
Uh, you still doing
that podium thing,
182
00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:45,773
leaning over with
the furrowed brow?
183
00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:47,174
Okay, Paul,
I got to go.
184
00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:48,609
Yeah, I know,
but listen.
185
00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:50,778
Do you still do that
"any more questions" thing?
186
00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:52,980
Everyone says that.
No. Uh-uh.
No, no, no.
187
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:54,147
Everyone says
"any further questions?"
188
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,315
"Any more questions?"
That was mine.
189
00:06:55,483 --> 00:06:56,984
You copied that
from me.
190
00:06:57,084 --> 00:07:00,954
You're a copycat!
Copycat! Copycat!
191
00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:02,590
Paul, you're
better than this.
192
00:07:02,690 --> 00:07:04,224
No, I'm not.
193
00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:06,026
Mayor Winston, I just want
to take a second here
194
00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:07,761
to wish you a very,
very happy birthday.
195
00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:11,532
And, by the way, thank you
so much for taking care
of those parking tickets.
196
00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:13,501
(LAUGHING)
197
00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:16,837
But the mayor,
he's, like, nuts, right?
198
00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:20,708
Sir, I really need
to talk to you,
just the two of us.
199
00:07:20,808 --> 00:07:22,576
Now this is kind of awkward,
200
00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:24,578
so I don't really
even know how to
broach the subject.
201
00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:26,880
Ms. Cohen's
an interesting woman, Mike.
202
00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:29,517
Well, there you go.
203
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:33,053
A lot easier
than I thought.
204
00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:36,023
She's committed.
She's vibrant.
205
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:38,291
She's very passionate.
Don't you think?
206
00:07:38,391 --> 00:07:40,661
Well, she certainly makes
my heart skip a beat.
207
00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:42,696
Uh...
208
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,297
Here's the thing.
209
00:07:44,397 --> 00:07:46,900
I know you two are spending
so much time together,
210
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,302
uh, because of the work,
211
00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:51,371
but the press...
(SIGHS)
212
00:07:51,539 --> 00:07:53,641
They're trying to make
something more out of it.
213
00:07:53,741 --> 00:07:55,943
Hell, they're
a couple days away
from writing
214
00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:58,646
that you two are, uh,
are an item.
215
00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:01,549
(FORCED LAUGHING)
216
00:08:01,582 --> 00:08:05,085
I'm 50 years old, Mike, 50.
217
00:08:06,353 --> 00:08:08,288
(CLICKS TONGUE)
Am I the man
I wanted to be,
218
00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:09,389
or am I just someone
219
00:08:09,557 --> 00:08:11,224
whose decisions have
all been made for him?
220
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,961
Well, sir, I think
I can safely speak
for the both of us...
221
00:08:14,061 --> 00:08:15,428
Yeah?
222
00:08:15,563 --> 00:08:17,731
...when I say that
you are exactly the man
you wanted to be.
223
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,801
Now, I know
this is kind of personal,
224
00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:22,402
but I have to ask.
225
00:08:22,570 --> 00:08:24,805
Am I in love
with her, Mike?
226
00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:31,679
Wow.
227
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:34,715
Okay, I was...
I was going to ask,
228
00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:36,984
"Do you have any
feelings for her?"
229
00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:38,451
But you seem
to have jumped
230
00:08:38,586 --> 00:08:40,721
a couple of rungs
on me.
231
00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:45,225
(STAMMERS)
So, are you, uh...
232
00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:46,960
Sir, are you, uh,
233
00:08:48,295 --> 00:08:52,199
in love with her?
234
00:08:52,299 --> 00:08:54,868
Maybe. I love the way
she makes me feel.
235
00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:56,670
Okay.
236
00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:58,606
All right,
I'm going to recommend,
237
00:08:58,706 --> 00:09:03,043
if anyone asks, uh,
that you say, uh,
"No comment"
238
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,478
over "Maybe."
239
00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:06,914
Michael...
240
00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:08,949
And by all means,
stay away from,
241
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:11,985
"I just love the way
she makes me feel."
242
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,788
Michael, now, Michael,
there is the problem
right there.
243
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,490
Watching what I say,
what I do...
244
00:09:17,625 --> 00:09:19,927
Everything has to be
so careful.
245
00:09:20,828 --> 00:09:22,630
And then I go home
to Helen.
246
00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:24,231
Oh, don't get me wrong.
247
00:09:24,331 --> 00:09:25,766
We love each other,
248
00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:27,701
But in a comfortable,
relaxed,
249
00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:30,838
watching-the-evening-
news-in-separate-rooms
kind of way.
250
00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:34,775
I'm a man,
not just a mayor,
251
00:09:34,875 --> 00:09:36,777
And Holly
finds me exciting,
252
00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:39,680
And I really...
Really need that.
253
00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:43,651
(SIGHS)
254
00:09:47,788 --> 00:09:49,289
I find you
exciting, sir.
255
00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:55,128
I wanna feel alive!
I wanna...
256
00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:57,530
I want to be like
those guys walking
that tightrope
257
00:09:57,665 --> 00:09:59,767
between two cliffs
with no net!
258
00:09:59,867 --> 00:10:01,434
I don't want
to discourage you,
259
00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:04,037
but most of those guys
end up a bloody mess
on the side of the rocks.
260
00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:05,138
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
261
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,241
We did it.
262
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:12,045
The governor approved every
section of the proposal!
263
00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:14,181
(BOTH LAUGHING)
264
00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:16,116
Oh. Mmm...
265
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:22,222
Whoa! Ho!
266
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:24,024
Whoa. That's exciting.
267
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,192
Yee-ha.
268
00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:32,099
What is taking him
so long?
269
00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:33,667
The guy's
going to be late
for his own party.
270
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:35,669
It's a big night
for him, Mike.
271
00:10:35,769 --> 00:10:38,371
All those VIPs
will be there,
his coworkers,
272
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:41,208
the woman he loves,
his wife...
273
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:44,678
What are you doing
in the limo?
274
00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:45,813
Seriously,
shouldn't you be
275
00:10:45,913 --> 00:10:47,047
in the back of
the catering truck?
276
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,182
What? I'm just
telling it how it is.
277
00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:50,617
Tonight is about
what isn't.
278
00:10:50,718 --> 00:10:53,620
There isn't anything
going on between
the mayor and Holly.
279
00:10:53,721 --> 00:10:55,522
The press isn't going to be
snooping around for a story,
280
00:10:55,622 --> 00:10:57,457
and my life isn't
going to fall apart.
281
00:10:57,557 --> 00:10:59,059
Mike, that is
classic denial.
282
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,193
No, it isn't.
283
00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:02,429
The mayor
is just confused,
284
00:11:02,529 --> 00:11:05,132
and he needs some time
for his head to catch up
with his heart.
285
00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:10,838
HELEN:
Thank you.
286
00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:12,172
Mike.
287
00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:13,373
Other worker.
288
00:11:13,473 --> 00:11:15,042
Uh, pour me
a drink, please.
289
00:11:16,476 --> 00:11:18,078
Boy, you look lovely
tonight, ma'am.
290
00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:20,748
And ready
before your husband.
291
00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:22,750
Strike another
small blow for feminism.
292
00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:24,251
(CHUCKLES)
He's already
in another car
293
00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:26,619
with that woman from
the governor's office.
294
00:11:26,754 --> 00:11:29,389
Something about
finishing up
some business.
295
00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:30,758
(CHUCKLES)
296
00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:32,259
Excuse me.
297
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:33,794
Oh, you're not
going anywhere
until we discuss
298
00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:35,395
the table
arrangements
for tonight.
299
00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:36,997
Well, much as
I'd love to, ma'am,
300
00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:40,100
because your whole theory
of boy, girl, boy, girl
is truly inspiring,
301
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,334
but I got to...
302
00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:43,771
Oh! Oh!
303
00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:45,272
What a shame.
304
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:46,907
I know.
305
00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:49,109
Oh, that's
very expensive vodka.
306
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:51,779
Happy birthday,
Mayor Winston.
307
00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:53,781
Since I know
you're watching,
308
00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:55,182
how do you respond
to the criticism
309
00:11:55,282 --> 00:11:58,886
that your administration
is gutting social programs?
310
00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:03,791
No. If I had gotten
to work with him,
311
00:12:03,857 --> 00:12:06,626
I know I could
have tapped into
the real Larry King.
312
00:12:06,794 --> 00:12:09,162
Funny thing about
a 50th birthday video
313
00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:12,900
is that it's generally
only a good gift on
someone's 50th birthday!
314
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,534
Give me that thing.
We got to get out of here.
315
00:12:14,634 --> 00:12:15,936
Wait, that thing...
You know what, Carter?
316
00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:17,805
If you don't share my
artistic vision, fine.
317
00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:20,607
I certainly
don't need you here,
stifling the creative process.
318
00:12:20,707 --> 00:12:21,909
You're fired!
319
00:12:22,209 --> 00:12:23,243
Yes!
320
00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:28,715
I never knew working
on a budget could be
so much fun.
321
00:12:28,816 --> 00:12:31,651
You probably never did it
with champagne before.
322
00:12:31,819 --> 00:12:32,820
(CHUCKLES) No.
323
00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:35,122
(CLINKS)
Ooh!
324
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:39,993
These last few weeks
have been...
325
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:41,328
I know.
326
00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:42,395
(SIGHS)
327
00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:44,264
So it's been
the same for...
328
00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:45,298
It has.
329
00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:48,535
Amazing.
We even finish
each other's...
330
00:12:48,635 --> 00:12:49,837
Meals?
331
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:53,206
I was going to say
sentences.
332
00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:54,875
Sorry. I haven't
eaten since...
333
00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:57,110
Breakfast?
There we go,
right back on track.
334
00:12:59,746 --> 00:13:01,414
You know, I...
(CLICKS TONGUE)
335
00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:03,550
I can't believe
I'm acting like this.
336
00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:07,487
If I were to step
outside and look
at the woman,
337
00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:09,622
I wouldn't believe
it was me.
338
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:12,159
It just feels
339
00:13:12,860 --> 00:13:14,427
so right.
340
00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:16,129
(SIGHS)
You know?
341
00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:17,865
I know.
342
00:13:17,898 --> 00:13:19,599
(BRAKES SCREECH)
343
00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:20,700
(TAPPING ON WINDOW)
344
00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:24,037
Hi. How are you?
Whoa!
345
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:26,639
I hope you don't mind.
My limo's just a two-seater.
346
00:13:26,739 --> 00:13:27,875
(PANTING)
347
00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:30,443
Mike, we're almost
two miles from
the mansion.
348
00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:31,644
How did you catch us?
349
00:13:31,744 --> 00:13:34,514
Actually, sir, it's only
a mile as the crow flies.
350
00:13:34,614 --> 00:13:36,583
I would have caught you
on the other side of the park,
351
00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:41,021
but Mario Andretti up there
ran a couple of red lights.
352
00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:43,023
Whoo, boy!
353
00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:45,058
Well, how we
doing in here?
354
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:47,260
Hey, Mayor Winston,
it's me, Rosie O'Donnell.
355
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:50,330
Sorry I couldn't make
the big bash, but I got
other things to do.
356
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:51,999
Got to stay home
and dye my hair.
357
00:13:52,099 --> 00:13:53,466
Speaking of hair,
yours looks nice.
358
00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:55,002
Salt-and-pepper?
(CLICKS TONGUE) Cute.
359
00:13:55,102 --> 00:13:56,904
Little John Forsythe thing
going on?
360
00:13:56,937 --> 00:13:59,339
I like it.
You're a good-looking guy.
361
00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:02,175
You're no Tom Cruise,
but then again, who is?
362
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:10,817
CARTER: So, let me
get this straight.
363
00:14:10,918 --> 00:14:12,285
You went to
Stephanopoulos' office.
364
00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:14,221
He graciously agreed
not only to do a video,
365
00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:16,924
but also to show up
here tonight,
366
00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:18,525
and then you beat him up.
367
00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:21,028
We have issues.
368
00:14:21,128 --> 00:14:22,362
Paul, we're friends.
369
00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:24,397
Why don't you just admit
you don't know the guy?
370
00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:25,598
But I do!
371
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:26,699
No, no, I do!
372
00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:30,003
Look. Look. These are
his teeth marks, see?
373
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:32,839
That is so sad.
You actually bit yourself.
374
00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:35,608
Please.
375
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,810
Okay. Snapshots
of the happy couple.
376
00:14:37,945 --> 00:14:38,946
Very good.
We like that.
377
00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:40,213
All right, everybody,
huddle up.
378
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:42,482
Close your eyes.
I want to paint you
a mental picture.
379
00:14:42,582 --> 00:14:44,351
The mayor's
very vulnerable tonight.
380
00:14:44,451 --> 00:14:46,086
There are a lot of
reporters here,
381
00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:50,757
and also in attendance is
a woman I will refer to
simply as "the shark."
382
00:14:50,857 --> 00:14:55,495
Whereas the mayor,
the mayor is like an older,
slow-moving sea lion.
383
00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:57,564
(IMITATES JACQUES COUSTEAU)
I will stay aboard
the Calypso
384
00:14:57,664 --> 00:15:00,000
while my assistant Mike
dive into the ocean
385
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:01,969
to join in
the life-and-death
struggle
386
00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:04,837
between the shark
and the noble sea lion.
387
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:09,642
No. You're going to
stay with Holly
388
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,979
and make sure
she stays the hell away
from the mayor. All right?
389
00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:13,113
Think you can
handle that?
390
00:15:13,213 --> 00:15:14,214
If she challenge me,
391
00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:16,984
I shall simply
punch her on the snout.
392
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:21,154
All right.
Carter, I want you
with Mrs. Winston.
393
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:22,889
Make sure she doesn't
make a scene, huh?
394
00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:24,057
All right.
395
00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:25,592
Nikki, you're going to
hang with the mayor.
396
00:15:25,692 --> 00:15:27,460
Suggested topics
of conversation
397
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:30,430
include marriage,
commitment, sense of duty.
398
00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:32,265
I'm just going to
finish this champagne.
399
00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:34,634
Ooh! And this egg roll.
Thank you.
400
00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:36,103
Eh, eh, Paul, eat this.
401
00:15:36,203 --> 00:15:38,505
Hmm. (GROANS)
Hot! Hot! Hot!
402
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,373
Wash it down with that.
There you go.
403
00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:42,709
Oh, hey, look at you,
you're all done.
Away you go.
404
00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:44,677
Well, I guess
that leaves me
free to mingle.
405
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:47,714
Oh, not so fast, Paul.
Your task is as follows.
406
00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:50,117
There's the mayor,
there's the press,
and you, my friend,
407
00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:52,019
you are the Great Wall
of Lassiter.
408
00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:53,486
Hiya, fellas.
409
00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:55,188
Okay, Paul will be
your host for the evening.
410
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:56,723
Me, I just came by
to remind you
411
00:15:56,823 --> 00:15:58,525
that this is a party,
this is not
a press conference, okay?
412
00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:00,527
So, please reserve
any offensive,
unfounded,
413
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,795
potentially
libelous questions
until tomorrow,
414
00:16:02,895 --> 00:16:03,896
when I will be happy
415
00:16:04,031 --> 00:16:05,465
to mislead, misdirect,
and misinform you
416
00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:07,034
as per our
usual arrangement.
417
00:16:08,335 --> 00:16:10,037
That's right.
I'm bad!
418
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:15,075
You know, we've actually
never had a divorce
in the Faber family.
419
00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:16,309
The occasional tiff,
420
00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:19,379
a couple of separations,
and an assault.
421
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:21,514
That was
my great-aunt Edna.
422
00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:23,250
She swears to this day
it was an accident.
423
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:26,453
She was walking
across the floor, taking
a typewriter to my uncle Ray.
424
00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:29,656
She tripped,
stabbed him repeatedly
while he was sleeping.
425
00:16:31,058 --> 00:16:33,393
Hey, Mike, Mike,
have you seen
Ms. Cohen anywhere?
426
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:34,894
Uh, no, no, I haven't,
Your Honor,
427
00:16:35,062 --> 00:16:36,396
but, hey, there's James,
and it looks like
428
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,598
he's got your
birthday video
in his hand.
429
00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:40,833
James.
430
00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:43,770
Mike, I think
it's a very powerful
and honest piece.
431
00:16:43,870 --> 00:16:45,705
I tried to capture
the mayor's...
James. James.
432
00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:48,075
I'm just looking to
burn a few minutes
off this damn party.
433
00:16:48,175 --> 00:16:49,509
No, no, no.
I'm sorry, Mike,
434
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:51,878
I need some time
to come to terms
with letting this go.
435
00:16:51,978 --> 00:16:53,080
All right,
no problem.
436
00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:55,815
There, how's that?
Lights!
437
00:16:58,418 --> 00:17:01,488
If you like it,
I have a six-hour
director's cut.
438
00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:03,256
ALL: Happy...
No Tom Cruise,
but then again...
439
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:04,791
Get a life...
Life... Life...
440
00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:06,626
How do you respond...
I don't even
like the guy!
441
00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:08,661
I know you're watching...
Watching... Watching...
442
00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:10,097
I just want to
take a second here...
443
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:11,098
Birth...
ALL: ...day!
444
00:17:11,198 --> 00:17:12,199
PATRICK EWING:
I love you, man!
445
00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:14,301
Why am I doing this?
446
00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:15,802
Yeah, don't let anybody
push you around!
447
00:17:15,902 --> 00:17:17,670
Thank you for taking care
of those parking tickets.
448
00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:18,971
If you think
about it...
Mayor...
449
00:17:19,106 --> 00:17:21,274
ALL: Winston...
This is your year,
big guy.
450
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:22,675
The administration
is gutting...
451
00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:24,911
Send over a piece
of cake... Cake... Cake...
452
00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:26,446
Real original.
453
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,715
And don't take
any cr-cr-crap.
454
00:17:28,815 --> 00:17:29,816
Yeah.
455
00:17:38,691 --> 00:17:39,759
What?
456
00:17:41,128 --> 00:17:44,664
NIKKI: And my other
great-aunt was married
for 57 years.
457
00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:49,001
Nikki, why don't
I tag in now?
458
00:17:49,136 --> 00:17:51,738
You're just in time.
I'm down to my last aunt.
459
00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:53,506
Happy birthday, sir.
Thank you.
460
00:17:54,707 --> 00:17:57,043
Thanks for
the rescue, Mike.
461
00:17:57,144 --> 00:17:58,745
She's excruciatingly dull.
462
00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:01,148
Well, sir, this thing
is winding down.
463
00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:03,350
What say you grab the missus
and we head out of here?
464
00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:04,584
I can't leave, Mike.
465
00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:06,419
I promised Holly I'd save
the last dance for her.
466
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:10,823
Oh, yeah. The traditional
mayoral dance of death.
467
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:16,496
Sir, you are aware
that all those people
over there with cameras
468
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:17,897
are not tourists?
469
00:18:17,997 --> 00:18:21,168
Bondek, I don't have
the patience
to ask you again.
470
00:18:21,268 --> 00:18:23,870
Leave me alone,
or I'll have you
terminated.
471
00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:24,971
You can't fire me.
472
00:18:25,071 --> 00:18:26,306
I meant killed.
473
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:31,043
You promised you'd save
the last dance for me.
474
00:18:31,178 --> 00:18:33,513
Well, I'm more
of a rumba man,
but let's go.
475
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:34,581
* Dum dum dum
476
00:18:34,681 --> 00:18:35,882
* Oh!
477
00:18:37,317 --> 00:18:38,318
No.
478
00:18:40,187 --> 00:18:41,688
Mr. Mayor.
479
00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:44,023
I'd like to dedicate
this next song
to the mayor.
480
00:18:44,191 --> 00:18:45,358
Uno, dos, tres, cuatro!
481
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,894
(PLAYING UP-TEMPO LATIN MUSIC)
482
00:18:48,428 --> 00:18:50,630
* Whrrrraah!
483
00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:54,234
Michael!
484
00:18:54,901 --> 00:18:57,337
* Whrrrraah!
485
00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:02,209
(MUSIC STOPS)
486
00:19:02,275 --> 00:19:03,576
Bad beat,
hard to dance to.
487
00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:05,212
I give it a one.
(DRUM STING)
488
00:19:06,012 --> 00:19:09,216
Maestro, please play
something slow.
489
00:19:09,716 --> 00:19:12,719
Sorry. He's the boss.
490
00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:16,223
(SLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
491
00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:17,557
Uh...Toast! Toast!
492
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,025
Toast, toast, toast.
493
00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:20,627
(GLASS CLINKING)
494
00:19:20,727 --> 00:19:23,263
Uh, we are here
to honor a great man
495
00:19:23,363 --> 00:19:26,733
on this, the occasion
of his 50th birthday,
496
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:31,738
and I would like to do that
by reading a few passages
497
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:33,240
from the Bible.
498
00:19:37,477 --> 00:19:39,078
Does anyone, uh,
499
00:19:39,246 --> 00:19:40,480
have one on them?
500
00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:42,982
All right, Michael,
that's enough.
501
00:19:43,082 --> 00:19:45,051
You're embarrassing me.
Come here.
502
00:19:45,151 --> 00:19:46,686
MIKE: Sir...
503
00:19:46,786 --> 00:19:50,056
I don't care, sir,
'cause this dance,
Mr. Mayor...
504
00:19:50,156 --> 00:19:52,259
I know.
It's political suicide.
505
00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:55,895
To tell you the truth,
I could probably spin this
so it wouldn't kill you.
506
00:19:56,829 --> 00:19:58,298
I'm coming to you
as a friend.
507
00:19:59,499 --> 00:20:04,170
There are a lot of guys
who could do this
and feel nothing,
508
00:20:05,137 --> 00:20:07,139
but you're not
one of those guys.
509
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,809
You're going to regret this.
510
00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:12,345
You're going to get hurt.
511
00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:14,914
You let me be
the judge of that.
512
00:20:16,015 --> 00:20:17,149
Randall,
513
00:20:18,318 --> 00:20:19,919
just don't do this.
514
00:20:22,622 --> 00:20:24,324
Did you just
call me Randall?
515
00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:29,429
Yeah. Yeah, I did.
516
00:20:29,529 --> 00:20:32,999
Look, I don't have
a whole lot in my life
I can hold on to,
517
00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:37,036
but I've always respected you
518
00:20:37,136 --> 00:20:39,306
more than anyone
I've ever worked with,
519
00:20:40,507 --> 00:20:43,075
more than anyone
I ever knew,
520
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:46,779
and I don't
want to lose that,
521
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:48,315
Randall.
522
00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:50,650
It's my birthday,
523
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:53,486
and I'm going to
at least have one dance.
524
00:21:00,226 --> 00:21:01,528
I'm really sorry.
525
00:21:08,134 --> 00:21:10,470
Would you do
this poor old fool
the honor of a dance
526
00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:12,204
on his 50th birthday?
527
00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:14,173
Now?
528
00:21:16,409 --> 00:21:17,610
Of course I will.
529
00:21:23,683 --> 00:21:25,184
Nice job!
530
00:21:25,352 --> 00:21:27,354
Talk about
your damage control.
531
00:21:28,220 --> 00:21:28,988
Stuart,
532
00:21:29,088 --> 00:21:31,891
everything I said,
I meant.
533
00:21:32,859 --> 00:21:34,361
It came
from the heart.
534
00:21:34,394 --> 00:21:38,097
Uh-huh. How long
you been saving that
call-him-Randall thing?
535
00:21:39,366 --> 00:21:40,567
About six months.
536
00:21:44,671 --> 00:21:45,972
Look what just showed up.
537
00:21:53,813 --> 00:21:55,648
Happy birthday, Mr. Mayor.
538
00:21:55,748 --> 00:21:58,050
Oh, and, Paul? Don't worry.
539
00:21:58,150 --> 00:21:59,952
You and I are still friends.
540
00:22:00,052 --> 00:22:02,522
You need help,
but we're still friends.
541
00:22:03,523 --> 00:22:04,657
(CHUCKLES)
542
00:22:04,757 --> 00:22:07,560
Nobody here to see it.
(LAUGHS) He did it again.
543
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:10,797
I don't know what
the big deal is with
that guy, anyway.
544
00:22:10,897 --> 00:22:12,965
Everything he does,
he copied from me.
39780
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