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1
00:00:08,747 --> 00:00:10,010
Whoa.
Wrong apartment.
2
00:00:12,099 --> 00:00:13,883
No.
I live here.
3
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,233
We're your
neighbors.
I'm Maria.
4
00:00:16,364 --> 00:00:19,715
I'm Yale.
Apartment 2B.
Or not 2B.
5
00:00:21,412 --> 00:00:23,153
That is the question.Yeah, I get it.
6
00:00:23,284 --> 00:00:25,199
That's...
That's funny.
7
00:00:25,329 --> 00:00:26,591
"Whether 'tis
nobler in the mind
8
00:00:26,722 --> 00:00:27,940
"to suffer
the slings
and arrows
9
00:00:28,071 --> 00:00:29,986
"of outrageous
fortune, or..."Ashley.
10
00:00:30,117 --> 00:00:32,206
Hey, honey.
So, you... You met.
11
00:00:32,336 --> 00:00:33,598
MIKE: We met, yeah.
12
00:00:33,729 --> 00:00:35,078
Yeah, they live upstairs.They're in 2B. Yeah, I know.
13
00:00:35,209 --> 00:00:36,949
Or not 2B.
That is the question.
14
00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:39,517
Yeah, I'll tell
her later.
She'll laugh.
15
00:00:41,780 --> 00:00:45,393
Yeah, so anyway,
Yale and Maria,
they just stopped by,
16
00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:47,090
because they have
these couple
extra tickets
17
00:00:47,221 --> 00:00:48,309
to this documentary.
18
00:00:48,439 --> 00:00:51,225
It's on the collapse
of the ecosystem
in Brazil.
19
00:00:51,355 --> 00:00:53,662
And I told them
we probably
couldn't make it.
20
00:00:53,792 --> 00:00:55,577
But they persisted
and persisted,
21
00:00:55,707 --> 00:00:57,492
and persisted
until I finally agreed
22
00:00:57,622 --> 00:00:59,233
that it would be
really fun
for the both of us,
23
00:00:59,363 --> 00:01:01,365
so we're going.
24
00:01:01,496 --> 00:01:02,627
[WHISPERING]
I'm sorry.
25
00:01:04,368 --> 00:01:06,675
Plus, I speak
fluent Portuguese,
26
00:01:06,805 --> 00:01:09,069
so it will be like
having your own
personal tour guide
27
00:01:09,199 --> 00:01:10,592
right there along,
next to you.
28
00:01:10,722 --> 00:01:12,855
Oh, Yale, buddy,
you don't even have
to sugarcoat it.
29
00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:19,905
Because the ecosystem
is, like, right up there
for me.
30
00:01:20,036 --> 00:01:21,472
But I work for
the Mayor's office,
unfortunately,
31
00:01:21,603 --> 00:01:23,866
and we are right
in the middle
of a crisis.
32
00:01:23,996 --> 00:01:25,476
What kind of crisis?
33
00:01:25,607 --> 00:01:27,957
Crisis. Crisis,
just...
34
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,959
Where'd I put
that crisis?
35
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,830
[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]
36
00:01:31,961 --> 00:01:34,050
STUART ON MACHINE:
Mike, Garfield is kicking
our butt all over TV again.
37
00:01:34,181 --> 00:01:36,922
Thought you might be
interested. See ya.
38
00:01:37,053 --> 00:01:39,273
Well, alas,
my hands are tied.
39
00:01:40,796 --> 00:01:41,840
I must go,
40
00:01:41,971 --> 00:01:45,583
so, uh... I'll just
take a rain check.
41
00:01:45,714 --> 00:01:47,759
A rain check
on the rain forest.
42
00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:49,152
I made a funny.
43
00:01:50,893 --> 00:01:52,851
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
44
00:02:01,469 --> 00:02:02,774
Welcome.
45
00:02:02,905 --> 00:02:04,167
This is so exciting.
46
00:02:04,298 --> 00:02:07,910
It's my first
Sunday emergency.
47
00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:10,956
See you've paid
your final dues on
your geek membership.
48
00:02:12,784 --> 00:02:14,264
Everybody here yet?Not yet.
49
00:02:16,527 --> 00:02:17,267
Well, that's cool.
50
00:02:18,312 --> 00:02:19,139
All right,
what's going on?
51
00:02:19,269 --> 00:02:20,227
I have one day
off a week,
52
00:02:20,357 --> 00:02:22,359
I'd prefer not to
spend it at work.
53
00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:23,882
Whoa. Whoa.
Heads up.
54
00:02:25,493 --> 00:02:28,104
Nikki, is there
something you'd like
to share with us?
55
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:30,019
He's my sister's.
56
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,542
I don't have time
for a life of my own,
57
00:02:31,673 --> 00:02:33,327
so I borrow one
on Sundays.
58
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,505
You were playing basketball?
59
00:02:37,635 --> 00:02:38,593
No, I was bowling.
60
00:02:38,723 --> 00:02:39,942
I looked like an idiot.
61
00:02:42,684 --> 00:02:44,207
What I meant was...What you meant was,
62
00:02:44,338 --> 00:02:45,469
you're surprised
I play basketball
63
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,036
because I'm a gay man,
but, you see, Stuart,
64
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,298
I'm also a black man...
65
00:02:50,953 --> 00:02:54,826
So, it's really just
a battle between your
archaic stereotypes.
66
00:02:56,698 --> 00:02:57,438
Which one's winning?
67
00:02:59,701 --> 00:03:02,660
Well, it looks like
everybody's here
except Paulie,
68
00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:05,359
so no reason
we shouldn't start.
69
00:03:05,489 --> 00:03:07,361
I am not just
the ex-mayor.
70
00:03:07,491 --> 00:03:11,016
I am a New Yorker,
and I care deeply
about this city.
71
00:03:11,147 --> 00:03:14,194
I just wish I was confident
that the current mayor
felt the same way.
72
00:03:14,324 --> 00:03:16,370
Blah, blah, blah.
He's been going on like
that for over an hour.
73
00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:18,850
[BABY-TALKING]
That's bad. Very bad.
74
00:03:18,981 --> 00:03:20,852
Very, very, very,
very, very bad.
75
00:03:20,983 --> 00:03:23,159
Okay, we got to do
something to quiet
Garfield down.
76
00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:25,030
So anybody got
any ideas?
77
00:03:25,161 --> 00:03:26,989
Everyone has
skeletons, Mike.
78
00:03:27,119 --> 00:03:28,817
I could whip you up
a smear campaign.
79
00:03:28,947 --> 00:03:30,775
Mmm-muah!
80
00:03:30,906 --> 00:03:33,256
I love that
about you, Stuart.
81
00:03:33,387 --> 00:03:35,215
We're going to
take the high road
on this one.
82
00:03:36,041 --> 00:03:37,695
Oh, don't pout.
83
00:03:37,826 --> 00:03:39,131
What do you think,
Nikki? What do we
know about this guy?
84
00:03:39,262 --> 00:03:42,047
Mmm, huge ego.
Totally self-involved.
85
00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:43,484
Likes to see his
name on things.
86
00:03:43,614 --> 00:03:45,355
Okay. We'll
just give him
something, then.
87
00:03:45,486 --> 00:03:46,487
So that's
your brand
of politics?
88
00:03:46,617 --> 00:03:48,924
You're just
going to buy
his support?
89
00:03:49,054 --> 00:03:51,666
Carter, in ancient
Rome, they would
call it an homage.
90
00:03:51,796 --> 00:03:56,148
We'd give Garfield
a jug of wine,
a horse... A virgin.
91
00:03:57,019 --> 00:03:58,499
Problem solved.
92
00:03:58,629 --> 00:04:00,327
I can find him
two out of three
right here in this office.
93
00:04:02,285 --> 00:04:04,331
Just got to slap
his name on something.
94
00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:06,420
Nikki, that baby
got a name yet?
95
00:04:06,550 --> 00:04:08,813
How about
a Garfield street?
96
00:04:08,944 --> 00:04:11,076
Nah. Too expensive.
97
00:04:11,207 --> 00:04:13,688
How about a lovable,
orange cartoon cat?
98
00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:17,953
MIKE: You're not helping.
99
00:04:18,083 --> 00:04:19,433
What about
a fountain?
100
00:04:21,173 --> 00:04:22,784
James,
that's brilliant.
101
00:04:22,914 --> 00:04:24,351
A fountain?
You sure?
102
00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:27,571
'Cause I can have
pictures of him
with a hooker by 7:15.
103
00:04:27,702 --> 00:04:30,487
A fountain it is.
Meeting adjourned.
Let's go get a beer.
104
00:04:30,618 --> 00:04:31,314
Ah, get
a beer.
105
00:04:31,445 --> 00:04:33,621
PAUL: Wait, wait,
wait, wait.
106
00:04:33,751 --> 00:04:35,449
Where's everybody going?
107
00:04:35,579 --> 00:04:37,581
Meeting's over,
Paulie.
You missed it.
108
00:04:37,712 --> 00:04:39,670
No, I was on
the Throgs Neck Bridge
when I got your beep.
109
00:04:39,801 --> 00:04:42,456
Over 20 miles.
I can't feel
my thighs.
110
00:04:46,198 --> 00:04:47,069
Anyone want to
hold little Buckey?
111
00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:49,071
[ALL NAY-ING]
112
00:04:49,201 --> 00:04:51,073
I'm afraid
I might drop him.
113
00:04:51,203 --> 00:04:52,248
What's going to
happen with you guys
114
00:04:52,379 --> 00:04:53,467
when you have
your own kids?
115
00:04:53,597 --> 00:04:54,598
I'm going to put
a little handle
on mine.
116
00:04:57,906 --> 00:04:59,255
I'm kind of
looking forward
to being a father.
117
00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:00,822
Really?CARTER: Sure.
118
00:05:00,952 --> 00:05:03,215
Find the right guy,
buy a house,
settle down.
119
00:05:03,346 --> 00:05:06,001
Ah, that'd be nice.
120
00:05:06,131 --> 00:05:08,177
I think we're looking
at five future
fathers of the year here.
121
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,048
NIKKI: Oh, yeah, right.
122
00:05:10,179 --> 00:05:12,137
I bet you guys
couldn't take care
of a cocktail napkin.
123
00:05:12,268 --> 00:05:13,225
What are you
talking about?
124
00:05:13,356 --> 00:05:14,531
NIKKI: Let's try
an experiment.
125
00:05:14,662 --> 00:05:16,577
I got 50 bucks
against 10 from
each of you,
126
00:05:16,707 --> 00:05:19,536
that you each
can't take one
cocktail napkin,
127
00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:21,190
bring it back to me
in 48 hours,
128
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,627
well-cared for,
nice and clean.
129
00:05:23,758 --> 00:05:25,760
Give me that.STUART: All right.
130
00:05:25,890 --> 00:05:27,109
All right.
131
00:05:27,239 --> 00:05:29,285
You got to name
them, so we know
whose is whose.
132
00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:31,418
I'm calling
mine, Sheldon.
133
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,509
Apparently, Paul
wants his napkin
to get beat up a lot.
134
00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:41,123
I'm naming
mine Stuart.
135
00:05:41,253 --> 00:05:42,385
What if it's a girl?
136
00:05:42,516 --> 00:05:45,214
It's a napkin,
and its name
is Stuart.
137
00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:48,435
And last night,
it kicked
Sheldon's ass.
138
00:05:50,175 --> 00:05:54,005
Okay. Me and Tucker
139
00:05:54,136 --> 00:05:55,398
have the next round.
140
00:05:56,094 --> 00:05:57,357
Five beers.
141
00:05:58,619 --> 00:06:00,055
Wow. Thought
I'd find you here.
142
00:06:00,185 --> 00:06:01,578
Hey, Ashley.
143
00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:04,973
How was
the documentary?
144
00:06:06,975 --> 00:06:10,108
I cannot believe
you bailed on me
like that.
145
00:06:10,239 --> 00:06:12,981
I got to tell you,
it was an incredibly
difficult decision, honey,
146
00:06:13,111 --> 00:06:15,897
but the ship was going
down, and I could
only save one of us.
147
00:06:19,727 --> 00:06:22,469
Whatever happened
to women and
children first?
148
00:06:22,599 --> 00:06:24,122
Well, there comes a time
in every man's life
149
00:06:24,253 --> 00:06:26,647
when he's got to
slap on a dress and
jump in the lifeboat.
150
00:06:28,431 --> 00:06:30,172
I just sat through
three hours
151
00:06:30,302 --> 00:06:32,870
of black-and-white
footage of the
rain forest disappearing.
152
00:06:33,001 --> 00:06:35,046
I mean,
I'm telling you
that by the end,
153
00:06:35,177 --> 00:06:37,788
I was actually rooting
for the rain forest
to be gone faster.
154
00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:42,271
They're not here now,
so the nightmare is over.
155
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,012
Uh, no, it's not.
156
00:06:44,142 --> 00:06:45,840
See, the thing is,
157
00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:47,624
they invited themselves over
for dinner, tomorrow night.
158
00:06:48,930 --> 00:06:50,410
You're killing me.
159
00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:52,324
All right, look.
We can get through this.
We can get through this.
160
00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:53,456
It's just one night,
161
00:06:53,587 --> 00:06:57,025
in, then we're out,
nobody gets hurt.
162
00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:58,505
Okay.Pick up.
163
00:06:58,635 --> 00:06:59,419
Hey.
164
00:07:00,245 --> 00:07:01,421
No! Stuart!
165
00:07:01,551 --> 00:07:02,813
You're out!
166
00:07:10,081 --> 00:07:11,039
He was so young.
167
00:07:15,043 --> 00:07:17,393
I just wonder why
we're doing this
for him, Michael.
168
00:07:17,524 --> 00:07:19,743
I mean, Garfield's
been slamming us
pretty hard lately.
169
00:07:19,874 --> 00:07:21,919
I know. We're
just giving him
a fountain, sir.
170
00:07:22,050 --> 00:07:24,269
I have such mixed
emotions about Garfield.
171
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:28,317
He's such a man
of the people,
larger than life, huh?
172
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,798
It's not jealousy.
I just wish
I had what he had.
173
00:07:32,234 --> 00:07:34,671
You're the mayor
now, sir, and don't
forget that.
174
00:07:35,498 --> 00:07:36,717
Yeah. I know that.
175
00:07:38,632 --> 00:07:39,981
But still,
when he's around,
176
00:07:40,111 --> 00:07:43,550
I can't help feeling
like I just disappear.
177
00:07:45,813 --> 00:07:47,510
Good morning, Flaherty.
Where's that boss of yours?
178
00:07:48,729 --> 00:07:50,513
Abe.Randall.
179
00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:53,429
You better
firm that baby
up a bit.
180
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:56,084
Yeah, look,
the reason that we
invited you down here...
181
00:07:56,214 --> 00:07:57,738
Randall, open.Yeah.
182
00:07:59,522 --> 00:08:00,523
You keep that.
183
00:08:00,654 --> 00:08:02,351
When you're out
with the people,
184
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,484
you need that
minty breath.
185
00:08:04,614 --> 00:08:07,922
Yeah, anyway, we're aware
that you've been voicing
some concerns lately,
186
00:08:08,052 --> 00:08:10,490
and, well, we thought
that we might...
187
00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:12,709
Give me a fountain?
I know. I love it.
188
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,232
It's a good start.
189
00:08:16,408 --> 00:08:17,845
Mr. Mayor.Fong.
190
00:08:17,975 --> 00:08:19,847
[SPEAKING MANDARIN]Good to see you,
Mr. Mayor.
191
00:08:19,977 --> 00:08:22,371
It's just Abe now.
You know that.
192
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:25,243
Not to me.
You'll always
be mayor to me.
193
00:08:25,374 --> 00:08:27,028
Thank you,
my friend.
194
00:08:27,681 --> 00:08:28,638
He's good.
195
00:08:28,769 --> 00:08:30,292
You're better,
sir.
196
00:08:30,422 --> 00:08:31,641
Amigo, que pasa?
197
00:08:31,772 --> 00:08:33,991
Como esta
su novia carmela?
198
00:08:34,122 --> 00:08:36,254
Oh, bien.
Gracias. Gracias.
199
00:08:36,385 --> 00:08:37,429
De nada.
De nada.
200
00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:39,257
Have a good one, Jesus.
201
00:08:42,565 --> 00:08:43,740
[IN SPANISH ACCENT]
It's Jesus.
202
00:08:43,871 --> 00:08:45,525
[CLEARS THROAT]
Jesus, sir.
203
00:08:49,267 --> 00:08:51,748
Six months.
He could have
said something.
204
00:08:55,186 --> 00:08:58,059
And so it ends
as it began,
205
00:08:58,189 --> 00:09:00,844
with us cleaning
oil-soaked loons,
206
00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:05,457
the littlest victims
of the Exxon Valdez.
207
00:09:14,815 --> 00:09:17,208
Fascinating.
Fascinating stuff.
208
00:09:17,339 --> 00:09:20,211
Can you believe
the time?
It's already 9:15.
209
00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:24,912
Talk about burning
the candle, huh?
210
00:09:25,042 --> 00:09:27,088
You know, we have
a whole bag of tapes.
211
00:09:27,218 --> 00:09:28,872
I'm just going
to run to the
bathroom real quick,
212
00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:31,179
you know,
just splash some
water on my face.
213
00:09:31,309 --> 00:09:33,268
So we'll just
pop one in,
then, huh?
214
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,097
Oh, yeah.
You go ahead,
Yale.
215
00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:37,228
Let's, uh...
216
00:09:37,359 --> 00:09:39,491
Let's see if we can
actually make time stop.
217
00:09:42,016 --> 00:09:44,322
Should we show the one
of our hunger strike
218
00:09:44,453 --> 00:09:46,150
or the one where we
chained ourselves to
the redwood trees?
219
00:09:46,281 --> 00:09:47,848
Ooh, I don't know.
220
00:09:48,239 --> 00:09:50,024
Mike?
221
00:09:50,154 --> 00:09:51,199
Oh, you know,
I'm not even
comfortable
222
00:09:51,329 --> 00:09:52,722
making that decision.
223
00:09:52,853 --> 00:09:54,071
Uh, why don't you
go ahead?
224
00:09:54,202 --> 00:09:55,116
You just pick
whichever one
225
00:09:55,246 --> 00:09:57,118
is, uh, shorter.
226
00:10:01,339 --> 00:10:04,865
Honey, we've got to
get rid of them, okay?
227
00:10:04,995 --> 00:10:07,171
You go out there.
You tell them I'm sick.
228
00:10:07,302 --> 00:10:09,217
I'll stay in here,
and I'll make
vomiting noises.
229
00:10:11,872 --> 00:10:13,134
I don't think
it's going to work.
230
00:10:13,264 --> 00:10:15,223
I mean, they probably
have herbal remedies
with them.
231
00:10:15,353 --> 00:10:18,835
I was actually with them
for the first couple of loons.
232
00:10:18,966 --> 00:10:20,532
After that,
I got it, you know.
233
00:10:20,663 --> 00:10:22,447
They're oily,
they're clean.
234
00:10:24,449 --> 00:10:26,713
Have we not made it
clear to them that
we want them to leave?
235
00:10:26,843 --> 00:10:29,541
Are you kidding me?
I have done everything but
rifle through their pockets,
236
00:10:29,672 --> 00:10:31,848
looking for the three hours
of my life they stole.
237
00:10:34,372 --> 00:10:36,636
All right. All right.
You know what?
238
00:10:36,766 --> 00:10:37,898
We just got to
ride this thing out.
239
00:10:39,073 --> 00:10:41,336
Ashley, I don't
want to alarm you...
240
00:10:42,772 --> 00:10:44,644
So I'm not going
to overstate this.
241
00:10:46,863 --> 00:10:48,952
These people are
out to destroy us.
242
00:10:52,042 --> 00:10:55,393
I mean, look at them.
Look at them
watching our TV,
243
00:10:55,524 --> 00:10:59,528
eating our food,
drinking our water.
244
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,791
If we don't snuff this out,
we might as well
give them the keys,
245
00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:03,314
'cause it's not
our place, it's theirs.
246
00:11:03,445 --> 00:11:04,968
[TELEPHONE RINGING][WHIMPERS]
247
00:11:05,099 --> 00:11:06,448
YALE: I got it!
248
00:11:08,145 --> 00:11:10,365
Oh, my God.
We're too late.
249
00:11:10,495 --> 00:11:13,150
No, no, no.
We can do this,
together.
250
00:11:13,281 --> 00:11:14,543
I love you, Ashley.
251
00:11:16,023 --> 00:11:17,415
I'll never
leave your side.
252
00:11:17,546 --> 00:11:19,156
All right.
Here we go.
253
00:11:22,464 --> 00:11:23,900
That was
your editor.
254
00:11:24,031 --> 00:11:25,032
He said it was
no big deal.
255
00:11:25,162 --> 00:11:26,424
You could call back
whenever you want.
256
00:11:26,555 --> 00:11:28,426
Oh, it sounds bad.
Got to go.
257
00:11:28,557 --> 00:11:29,558
Oh, no.
258
00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:50,710
So the actual fountain
will look just like this,
only much, much bigger.
259
00:11:51,798 --> 00:11:53,408
Well,
on the plus side,
260
00:11:53,538 --> 00:11:55,671
when the dedication's
over, he can just take
it home with him.
261
00:11:55,802 --> 00:11:57,804
Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.
262
00:11:57,934 --> 00:12:00,676
It is my pleasure
to introduce the
mayor of New York,
263
00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:02,722
the honorable
Randall Winston,
264
00:12:02,852 --> 00:12:05,333
and the formerly
honorable
Abe Garfield
265
00:12:06,682 --> 00:12:08,379
who was...
Who was the mayor.
266
00:12:12,166 --> 00:12:15,256
As mayor of this city,
it's my distinct pleasure
267
00:12:15,386 --> 00:12:17,780
to officially pronounce this
the Abe Garfield fountain.
268
00:12:17,911 --> 00:12:19,173
[APPLAUSE]
269
00:12:34,884 --> 00:12:36,451
Mayor Winston,
what did you wish?
270
00:12:36,581 --> 00:12:39,193
Uh, to be reelected.
What else?
271
00:12:39,323 --> 00:12:41,195
Uh, Mayor Garfield,
what was your wish?
272
00:12:41,325 --> 00:12:44,633
That New York
remain the greatest
city in the world,
273
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:48,332
that we set the standard
for culture and compassion,
274
00:12:48,463 --> 00:12:50,030
for life and liberty,
275
00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:53,120
not to mention,
the best pastrami
known to man.
276
00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:55,470
[LAUGHTER]
277
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:58,212
Mike, can I have
another penny?
278
00:12:58,342 --> 00:12:59,691
PAUL: Thank you
all very much.
279
00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:02,607
Well, gentlemen,
that was quite
a moving ceremony,
280
00:13:02,738 --> 00:13:05,306
to see two great leaders
of this city come together...
281
00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:10,572
Did you really think
you could buy me off
with this birdbath?
282
00:13:10,702 --> 00:13:13,053
That was
the plan. Yeah.
283
00:13:13,183 --> 00:13:15,533
I've had martinis
bigger than this.
284
00:13:15,664 --> 00:13:17,405
This is an insult.
285
00:13:17,535 --> 00:13:20,538
You of all people
should know how
difficult this job is.
286
00:13:20,669 --> 00:13:22,671
But no, no, no.
You play the critic.
287
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,238
You do the talk-show circuit.
288
00:13:24,368 --> 00:13:25,413
Well, you know
what it does?
289
00:13:25,543 --> 00:13:26,718
It just proves to me
that you're nothing
290
00:13:26,849 --> 00:13:28,982
but a vain, petty,
self-centered...[THUDS]
291
00:13:29,112 --> 00:13:30,374
...egomaniacal...
292
00:13:30,505 --> 00:13:31,723
Why are you
lying down?
293
00:13:33,029 --> 00:13:34,814
MIKE: Somebody get
an ambulance!
294
00:13:39,514 --> 00:13:41,951
It's so weird
to see the flag
at half-mast.
295
00:13:44,432 --> 00:13:46,913
[CLICKS TONGUE]
I can't believe
he's gone.
296
00:13:48,740 --> 00:13:51,831
Sir, we should
probably work up
some sort of statement.
297
00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:54,659
I killed him, Mike.
I killed him dead.
298
00:13:56,444 --> 00:13:59,273
Well, that's a good
starting point.
299
00:13:59,403 --> 00:14:01,710
I think we should
probably soften it
a little.
300
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,451
The other day,
301
00:14:03,581 --> 00:14:05,192
I watched Abe
walk these hallways,
302
00:14:05,322 --> 00:14:07,716
patting strangers on the back,
speaking flawless Cantonese,
303
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:08,935
and you know
what I wished?
304
00:14:11,111 --> 00:14:12,242
I wished that
he were gone,
305
00:14:12,373 --> 00:14:14,505
I wished that
he weren't here.[SIGHS]
306
00:14:14,636 --> 00:14:16,768
It's not quite
the same as wishing
he were dead.
307
00:14:16,899 --> 00:14:17,987
I wished that, too.
308
00:14:21,773 --> 00:14:23,036
Oh, boy.
309
00:14:24,515 --> 00:14:27,040
You know,
he gave me this
310
00:14:28,128 --> 00:14:30,391
and a little
sage advice.
311
00:14:30,521 --> 00:14:31,958
Garfield was
an older man.
312
00:14:32,088 --> 00:14:33,698
He had a history
of heart problems.
313
00:14:33,829 --> 00:14:36,832
No, no, Mike.
My words
cut him down.
314
00:14:36,963 --> 00:14:38,878
And the guilt is so heavy.
It's so oppressing.
315
00:14:39,008 --> 00:14:41,097
I need to atone.
I just need to
tell the world.
316
00:14:41,228 --> 00:14:42,620
MIKE: All right, I know
you're hurting, sir.
317
00:14:42,751 --> 00:14:44,405
What you want to do
is you want to take
all that hurt
318
00:14:44,535 --> 00:14:46,842
and all that pain,
and all that confusion
319
00:14:46,973 --> 00:14:50,063
and all those
overwhelming feelings,
and you want to just
320
00:14:51,238 --> 00:14:52,630
bottle them right up.
321
00:14:55,285 --> 00:14:56,243
Morning, sir.
322
00:14:56,373 --> 00:14:57,461
Yes, I am, son.
323
00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:02,989
The whole city is.
324
00:15:04,555 --> 00:15:05,643
[SOFTLY] I'm sorry.
325
00:15:07,254 --> 00:15:08,124
Okay.
326
00:15:10,126 --> 00:15:11,171
How's he doing, Mike?
327
00:15:11,301 --> 00:15:12,868
He blames himself.
328
00:15:12,999 --> 00:15:15,349
Why, just because
he yelled at the old guy
till he dropped dead?
329
00:15:17,003 --> 00:15:19,788
Let me make this
perfectly clear
for everybody.
330
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:23,661
What happened between
the mayor and Garfield
was not an argument.
331
00:15:23,792 --> 00:15:27,752
It was merely
an animated discussion
that quite suddenly
332
00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:31,278
became unanimated.
333
00:15:31,408 --> 00:15:33,541
They had a candlelight vigil
at the fountain last night.
334
00:15:33,671 --> 00:15:35,108
Hundreds showed up.
335
00:15:35,238 --> 00:15:37,675
Of course, only
five people could fit
around it at one time.
336
00:15:39,547 --> 00:15:41,157
They had the vigil
in shifts.
337
00:15:42,724 --> 00:15:44,247
I think they're
still going.
338
00:15:45,205 --> 00:15:46,946
This is a tough time.
339
00:15:47,076 --> 00:15:50,427
A beloved man
has passed on
to his great reward,
340
00:15:50,558 --> 00:15:52,212
and people are going
to be a little upset.
341
00:15:52,342 --> 00:15:54,736
Garfield esta muerto!
342
00:15:54,866 --> 00:15:56,520
Por que?
343
00:15:56,651 --> 00:15:58,218
Por que?
344
00:16:03,310 --> 00:16:04,398
Sheesh!
345
00:16:07,357 --> 00:16:10,491
Let me just say
that Abe Garfield
was a good man,
346
00:16:10,621 --> 00:16:13,363
and a good mayor,
and for this,
he will be missed.
347
00:16:13,494 --> 00:16:16,236
He was a good friend.
We knew him well.
348
00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:19,369
So today, our love
goes out to his wife,
349
00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:22,155
our thoughts and prayers,
to his children.
350
00:16:22,285 --> 00:16:24,374
Garfield didn't
have any children.
351
00:16:24,505 --> 00:16:27,551
Then the thoughts
and prayers go
to the wife, too.
352
00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:33,253
Will there be some
kind of memorial
service for Garfield?
353
00:16:33,862 --> 00:16:36,125
Yes, yes.
354
00:16:36,256 --> 00:16:39,911
The ex-mayor will be
honored and remembered for
his years of public service.
355
00:16:40,042 --> 00:16:42,740
Now, will mayor Winston
be delivering a eulogy
at the memorial?
356
00:16:42,871 --> 00:16:44,699
Yes and no.
357
00:16:47,615 --> 00:16:48,964
Let me just
clarify that.
358
00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:51,923
Yes, the mayor
will be speaking.
359
00:16:52,054 --> 00:16:55,971
But then again,
maybe he won't.
Who knows?
360
00:16:56,102 --> 00:16:59,322
Right now,
the only thing
that we can say
361
00:16:59,453 --> 00:17:04,849
is that ex-mayor Garfield
is in fact still dead.
362
00:17:07,156 --> 00:17:08,723
MIKE: [WHISPERING]
Think they heard us?
363
00:17:08,853 --> 00:17:10,507
ASHLEY: [WHISPERING]
I don't know.
Take off your shoes.
364
00:17:10,638 --> 00:17:12,683
Yeah. Good idea.
365
00:17:12,814 --> 00:17:14,598
Oh, and while
we're at it,
366
00:17:14,729 --> 00:17:16,122
why don't you
take off your clothes?
367
00:17:18,428 --> 00:17:20,604
What?
368
00:17:20,735 --> 00:17:23,433
I'd take off mine except
for the fact that we're
prisoners in our own home.
369
00:17:23,564 --> 00:17:27,089
Can you please
try to focus on the
issue at hand here?
370
00:17:27,220 --> 00:17:31,224
Hey, I'm not the one
who invited these two
circus freaks into our life.
371
00:17:32,225 --> 00:17:33,878
Oh, so you're
saying it's my fault?
372
00:17:34,009 --> 00:17:35,793
Yeah, I'm definitely
saying that.
373
00:17:35,924 --> 00:17:38,666
You're just going to
wash your hands clean
of the whole situation?
374
00:17:38,796 --> 00:17:41,712
You know, I'd love to,
but Yale's probably
in the damn bathroom!
375
00:17:41,843 --> 00:17:43,627
[BOTH SHUSHING]
376
00:17:43,758 --> 00:17:44,715
[SIGHS]
377
00:17:44,846 --> 00:17:46,326
We have to
reclaim our lives.
378
00:17:47,675 --> 00:17:49,590
Okay. Listen,
379
00:17:50,721 --> 00:17:52,245
I have
some friends
380
00:17:53,246 --> 00:17:54,725
with the
police department.
381
00:17:56,466 --> 00:17:59,078
I can have him
arrested on trumped-up
drug charges.
382
00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:04,474
It's too big.
383
00:18:04,605 --> 00:18:07,129
Yeah. I think one
of us just needs
to talk to them.
384
00:18:07,260 --> 00:18:10,480
They'd probably
only do five,
10 years.
385
00:18:10,611 --> 00:18:13,222
You're right. You're
right. You're right.
I'll talk to them.
386
00:18:13,875 --> 00:18:15,746
I mean, we're adults.
387
00:18:15,877 --> 00:18:18,227
We shouldn't have to be
afraid of these people.
388
00:18:18,358 --> 00:18:19,359
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
389
00:18:19,489 --> 00:18:22,797
MARIA: Mike?
Ashley? Hello.
390
00:18:24,364 --> 00:18:25,191
[SOFTLY]
Don't move.
391
00:18:26,279 --> 00:18:27,367
[KNOCKING CONTINUES]
392
00:18:27,497 --> 00:18:29,195
YALE: Come on.
We saw you
from the street.
393
00:18:32,937 --> 00:18:34,678
What happened
to the speech
I had James write?
394
00:18:34,809 --> 00:18:35,766
Oh, uh, yeah.
395
00:18:35,897 --> 00:18:38,639
I had James make
one or two changes
396
00:18:38,769 --> 00:18:40,467
just for
stylistic purposes.
397
00:18:40,597 --> 00:18:43,513
Well, what happened
to the part about
the blood on my hands?
398
00:18:43,644 --> 00:18:45,254
Sir, you can't
go up to that podium
399
00:18:45,385 --> 00:18:48,562
and say that
you killed
Abe Garfield.
400
00:18:48,692 --> 00:18:50,041
I mean,
I might be wrong,
401
00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:51,869
but I think that could
hurt us in the polls.
402
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,610
This isn't about
politics, Mike.
403
00:18:53,741 --> 00:18:55,743
This is about taking
responsibility.
404
00:18:56,831 --> 00:18:57,788
[SIGHS]
405
00:18:57,919 --> 00:18:59,094
It's about
being a man.
406
00:18:59,747 --> 00:19:00,704
Oh!
407
00:19:01,270 --> 00:19:02,576
Ow. That hurt.
408
00:19:02,706 --> 00:19:03,403
Oh.
409
00:19:13,935 --> 00:19:16,242
MAYOR: Abe Garfield
was a good man.
410
00:19:17,373 --> 00:19:18,983
I must admit...
411
00:19:19,114 --> 00:19:21,247
No, I must confess that...
412
00:19:25,686 --> 00:19:27,296
I'm sorry.
I can't go on.
413
00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:32,127
You okay, Paul?
414
00:19:32,258 --> 00:19:33,650
Yeah, yeah.
415
00:19:33,781 --> 00:19:36,175
I'm just proud to
be working for a man
416
00:19:36,305 --> 00:19:38,873
who's just not afraid
to show his feelings
to the world.
417
00:19:39,003 --> 00:19:40,657
It will be okay, Paul.
418
00:19:40,788 --> 00:19:42,093
You just need...
419
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:44,183
You just need to
give me 10 bucks.
420
00:19:45,706 --> 00:19:46,663
What?
421
00:19:46,794 --> 00:19:47,664
Your baby napkin.
422
00:19:47,795 --> 00:19:49,449
Oh, sugar.
423
00:19:52,495 --> 00:19:55,542
Well, Tucker went
through the wash.
424
00:19:55,672 --> 00:19:57,892
Here's my 10 bucks.
425
00:19:58,022 --> 00:19:59,633
We'll divert the rest
of his college fund
426
00:19:59,763 --> 00:20:00,982
towards another
round of drinks.
427
00:20:02,026 --> 00:20:03,245
Where's yours,
James?
428
00:20:04,855 --> 00:20:06,466
Oh, my God,
where's my baby?
429
00:20:06,596 --> 00:20:08,685
Where's my baby?
I had the baby
at the office.
430
00:20:08,816 --> 00:20:10,252
I brought the baby
to the bar.
431
00:20:10,383 --> 00:20:12,080
I put the baby
on the table.
432
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,821
Stuart asked me
if he could see
the baby.
433
00:20:13,951 --> 00:20:14,996
[BLOWS NOSE]
434
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:19,348
Ten bucks.
435
00:20:24,092 --> 00:20:25,224
I believe
[CLEARS THROAT]
436
00:20:25,354 --> 00:20:28,488
you have something
that belongs to me.
437
00:20:28,618 --> 00:20:29,402
Mmm.
438
00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:31,665
Mmm-hmm.
439
00:20:31,795 --> 00:20:33,493
Carter, I'm sure
you've heard it
1,000 times.
440
00:20:33,623 --> 00:20:35,756
All the good ones
are either married
or...
441
00:20:35,886 --> 00:20:38,106
I know. I know.
442
00:20:39,368 --> 00:20:41,283
I made such a fool
out of myself.
443
00:20:41,414 --> 00:20:44,373
No, sir. You thoroughly
honored Garfield's memory.
444
00:20:45,374 --> 00:20:46,854
I was moved.
445
00:20:46,984 --> 00:20:48,159
Everybody in
the whole park
was moved.
446
00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:51,293
I mean,
you cried, sir.
447
00:20:52,381 --> 00:20:53,077
[SIGHS]
448
00:20:53,208 --> 00:20:55,079
That wasn't me,
Mike.
449
00:20:55,210 --> 00:20:56,255
That was the
Binaca talking.
450
00:20:58,866 --> 00:20:59,954
Garfield.
451
00:21:01,216 --> 00:21:04,437
You know, strange,
isn't it?
452
00:21:04,567 --> 00:21:06,090
How could I have
missed my mouth?
453
00:21:07,962 --> 00:21:09,355
Happens to
a lot of people.
454
00:21:09,485 --> 00:21:11,226
You know,
the little nozzle
gets bent.
455
00:21:12,532 --> 00:21:15,491
But how incredible
was that timing, huh?
456
00:21:17,101 --> 00:21:18,320
Pretty damn good.
457
00:21:19,321 --> 00:21:21,454
There I was,
about to confess...
458
00:21:21,584 --> 00:21:23,456
To something that
wasn't your fault.
459
00:21:23,586 --> 00:21:25,022
And this
little canister
stopped me.
460
00:21:25,153 --> 00:21:26,154
Do you believe
in signs, Mike?
461
00:21:26,589 --> 00:21:28,461
Depends.
462
00:21:28,591 --> 00:21:32,073
I think that
Garfield saved me
from myself.
463
00:21:32,203 --> 00:21:34,423
Then, yes,
I definitely do
believe in signs.
464
00:21:36,947 --> 00:21:38,253
We owe him one.
465
00:21:38,384 --> 00:21:39,385
Mmm.
466
00:21:40,777 --> 00:21:41,865
Open up, Abe.
467
00:21:41,996 --> 00:21:43,302
Oh, my God.
468
00:21:48,132 --> 00:21:49,351
MARIA: [ON TV]
This is the hunger strike.
469
00:21:50,221 --> 00:21:51,353
You know something though...
470
00:21:52,876 --> 00:21:54,138
I'm really starting
to enjoy this.
471
00:21:55,662 --> 00:21:57,577
I can't understand
what you mean...Shh!
472
00:21:57,707 --> 00:21:58,839
This is my favorite part.
473
00:21:58,969 --> 00:22:00,623
YALE: [ON TV] Oh...
474
00:22:00,754 --> 00:22:02,538
Oh...
475
00:22:03,147 --> 00:22:05,498
I'm so hungry.
476
00:22:07,935 --> 00:22:09,284
Oh, Yale, that's great.
477
00:22:11,852 --> 00:22:12,635
Popcorn?
35304
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