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1
00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:16,717
Good morning.
2
00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:18,052
WOMAN:
Good morning.
Hey.
3
00:00:19,153 --> 00:00:21,089
All right, everybody,
listen up.
4
00:00:21,189 --> 00:00:24,758
As of about...
one minute ago,
5
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:28,262
the sanitation workers union
rejected our final offer.
6
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,098
They are now
officially on strike.
7
00:00:30,198 --> 00:00:31,799
It's happening?
8
00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:33,901
So let's... let's start
looking into alternative
dumpsites, all right?
9
00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:35,603
Vacant lots, barges...
10
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:37,438
New Jersey.
11
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,108
This strike
could drag on
for days, weeks.
12
00:00:40,208 --> 00:00:41,642
Maybe even months.
13
00:00:41,742 --> 00:00:44,312
Mike, I need something
to tell the press.
They're killing me.
14
00:00:44,412 --> 00:00:46,914
The strike's
over, Paul, finished.
15
00:00:47,014 --> 00:00:48,949
Really?
Oh, yeah.
16
00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:53,421
(EVERYONE SPEAKS AT ONCE)
17
00:00:53,521 --> 00:00:55,289
You're not
lying to me,
are you?
18
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:58,792
I would be disappointed
if this whole thing wasn't
settled by this afternoon.
19
00:01:00,128 --> 00:01:01,162
God, I love
this job.
20
00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:05,899
Okay, that's only going
to buy us a couple hours,
21
00:01:05,999 --> 00:01:07,901
But I'm not debating
this thing in the press.
22
00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:09,403
It's only going
to hurt negotiations.
23
00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:10,604
Now, you all
know the rules.
24
00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:12,840
Anybody who
tells Paul the truth,
25
00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:15,008
puts ten bucks
in the kitty.
26
00:01:16,344 --> 00:01:17,678
It's going to be
a long day, people.
27
00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:19,513
We got garbage
in the streets.
28
00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:22,383
We got a weather report
calling for temperatures in
the mid-90s with no breeze.
29
00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:26,220
By 11 o'clock, the city's
going to smell like
a giant foot.
30
00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:28,689
People are going to
be hurling themselves
into the East River,
31
00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:32,160
and we all know
who everybody's going
to blame, don't we?
32
00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:35,163
Good morning,
everyone!
33
00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:36,497
Hey, Flaherty,
how's our city?
34
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:37,698
Oh, couldn't
be better, sir.
35
00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:39,167
That's what
I like to hear.
36
00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:42,603
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
37
00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:55,483
The Mayor
is not happy.
38
00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:56,717
Sorry to
hear about that.
How you doing?
39
00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:58,186
I'm okay. Let me see
my own schedule.
40
00:01:58,219 --> 00:02:00,188
Why? You're not going
to have time for any of it.
41
00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:02,856
No. No. No.
No. No. No.
42
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:05,193
You gave me six nos.
There's only five
things on the list.
43
00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:06,194
That last no,
that's for you.
44
00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:07,928
You can use that
however you want.
45
00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:09,930
Karen.
Yes, Mr. Flaherty?
46
00:02:10,030 --> 00:02:12,500
I need you to get
a Mr. Sabatino
on the phone.
47
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:14,067
He's the head
of the sanitation
workers union...
48
00:02:14,202 --> 00:02:16,337
Mmm-hmm.
...and he doesn't
want to talk to us,
49
00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:19,373
so you're gonna have
to do me a favor, okay?
50
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:24,778
You know how,
no matter what happens,
You're always so cheerful,
51
00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:27,114
it just makes us all
want to stab you
through the heart?
52
00:02:28,249 --> 00:02:29,250
Uh-huh.
53
00:02:30,117 --> 00:02:31,785
That's not
going to work
on Mr. Sabatino,
54
00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:33,921
so you got to do me
a favor, all right?
55
00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:37,124
You got to intimidate
this guy, all right?
56
00:02:37,225 --> 00:02:39,327
Tap into
your darker side,
57
00:02:39,427 --> 00:02:41,329
that angry corner
of your soul
58
00:02:41,429 --> 00:02:43,331
where violence reigns
59
00:02:43,431 --> 00:02:44,898
and terror
cracks the whip.
60
00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:46,934
Okey-dokey.
61
00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:52,240
It was just a
run-of-the-mill orgasm.
I didn't mean to scare you.
62
00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:55,843
Could you hold
a second, Mom?
63
00:02:57,611 --> 00:02:59,480
I worked up
some new numbers
for you, Mike.
64
00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:00,614
Talk to me, Nikki.
65
00:03:00,714 --> 00:03:02,082
We're not there yet.
66
00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:03,417
I mean, forget
the health insurance
and the pension plans.
67
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:04,685
We can't even
come close to
68
00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:07,355
what these
sanitation workers
are asking for.
69
00:03:07,455 --> 00:03:09,257
Give it
another pass.
All right,
70
00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:11,259
but I wouldn't
be optimistic.
71
00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:15,796
Oh, I'll... I'll let you
get back to your mom.
72
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:18,766
Before she loses
her erection.
73
00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:23,471
(IMPERCEPTIBLE)
74
00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:26,006
So, yes, we do hope that
New Yorkers will continue
75
00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:30,444
to bag and dispose
of their garbage
in the usual manner.
76
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:31,545
Any other questions?
77
00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:34,147
Anybody have
any questions?
78
00:03:34,282 --> 00:03:37,184
Any questions at all?
Anybody? Anybody?
79
00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:39,620
Yes, Ashley?
80
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,188
So, am I to understand
that you actually believe
81
00:03:41,289 --> 00:03:43,824
that garbage pickup will
resume tomorrow morning?
Yes.
82
00:03:45,092 --> 00:03:46,126
Yes.
83
00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:48,729
With all my heart.
84
00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:52,433
That's interesting,
because I spoke
to Mr. Sabatino
85
00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:54,034
about 15 minutes ago,
86
00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:56,937
and... and I asked him
how long he thought
the strike might last,
87
00:03:57,037 --> 00:03:58,406
and he said,
and I quote,
88
00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:00,341
"How long you got?"
89
00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:10,318
It's not good. No.
90
00:04:11,218 --> 00:04:12,686
Why are you
beating up on Paul?
91
00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:14,455
Guy's just
doing his job.
92
00:04:14,555 --> 00:04:15,689
I don't
blame Paul.
93
00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:17,525
I know who
has his hand
inside the puppet.
94
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:21,829
Why, thank you.
That's a lovely image.
95
00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:23,130
Got any more
questions?
96
00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:24,632
Yeah, I mean,
what do you hope
to gain by this?
97
00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:27,100
It's a strike.
It's not like people
aren't going to notice.
98
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:30,037
Why can't you just say
no progress has been made?
99
00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:31,138
'Cause
the second
I do that,
100
00:04:31,238 --> 00:04:33,341
you'd make it out
to be the Mayor's fault.
101
00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:34,908
Oh, so it's not
the Mayor's fault?
102
00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:36,344
I'll just write
the story, uh,
103
00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:39,347
"Garbage unreasonable,
refuses to be taken away."
104
00:04:39,447 --> 00:04:41,982
Why do you people always
focus on the negative?
105
00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:43,584
Mike, the city of New York
generates more garbage
106
00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:45,386
than any other city
in the world.
107
00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:48,155
We're number one.
108
00:04:48,255 --> 00:04:51,224
That's great.
When we came in,
we were number three.
109
00:04:51,359 --> 00:04:53,827
Whatever. You're the one
who has to sleep at night.
110
00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:55,396
That's right.
111
00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:56,997
Okay, then.
Okay.
112
00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:58,666
See you tonight?
My place?
113
00:04:58,766 --> 00:05:00,368
No problem.
114
00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:04,538
All right, the Mayor
prepared to speak
about the strike, James?
115
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:05,639
I worked on it
all night, Mike.
116
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:08,041
I have six pages
of spontaneous remarks.
117
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,277
You know, Mike,
if I were deputy mayor,
118
00:05:10,378 --> 00:05:12,245
there never
would have been
a garbage strike.
119
00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:13,847
Stuart, I'm sure
there are 100 reasons
120
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:15,383
why you think
you deserve my job.
121
00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:17,751
Oh, good!
You read
my manifesto.
122
00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:20,087
(OVER TV)
REPORTERS:
Sir? Mr. Mayor?
123
00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:21,489
REPORTER:
Any comments
on the strike, sir?
124
00:05:21,589 --> 00:05:23,256
"I don't think we need
to be overly concerned."
125
00:05:23,391 --> 00:05:25,726
MAYOR:
I don't think we need
to be overly concerned.
126
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,094
"We all want this
settled quickly."
127
00:05:27,194 --> 00:05:29,563
We all want this
settled quickly. Besides...
128
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,031
Eighty-eight percent.
129
00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:32,866
Good God,
Eighty-eight percent!
Eighty-eight percent of...
130
00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:34,402
...88% of all major
131
00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:37,270
union strikes end
in less than 48 hours,
132
00:05:37,405 --> 00:05:39,840
so this shouldn't
drag on. Thank you.
133
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:41,475
And there's
your sound bite.
134
00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:43,711
All right.
We're golden.
135
00:05:43,811 --> 00:05:45,278
REPORTER: (OVER TV) Mr. Mayor,
would you consider marching
136
00:05:45,413 --> 00:05:46,747
in the gay pride
parade this week?
137
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,115
What are
you, drunk?
138
00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:06,133
What was that?
139
00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:09,169
I didn't write
that, Mike.
140
00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:11,772
Oh, great.
There go all our
free show tickets.
141
00:06:13,641 --> 00:06:17,144
All right. It's out there.
He said it. Now what?
142
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:18,779
I tell you,
if we have
143
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:19,880
one gay person
on the staff,
144
00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:21,615
this whole thing
goes away.
145
00:06:23,451 --> 00:06:24,752
Everybody stop.
146
00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:32,259
I need
a gay person.
147
00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:35,228
Huh?
148
00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:38,231
Who in this room is gay?
149
00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:43,170
Not that
kind of gay.
150
00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:47,608
Oh, come on.
151
00:06:47,708 --> 00:06:50,210
You telling me nobody
is even leaning that way?
152
00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,179
Do threesomes count?
153
00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:57,718
Nobody even had
a gay fling?
154
00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:00,754
Nobody here
went to camp?
155
00:07:08,896 --> 00:07:09,930
James?
156
00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:13,601
Why are you
asking me?
157
00:07:13,701 --> 00:07:15,202
All righty, people.
158
00:07:15,302 --> 00:07:17,905
I assume you
all get television.
159
00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:20,207
I'd like to
get a jump-start
on our new problem.
160
00:07:20,307 --> 00:07:22,510
All right, Paul,
we're in great shape.
We are?
161
00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:24,512
Oh, sure. We're an
open administration.
162
00:07:24,612 --> 00:07:26,780
We even
have prominent
gay personnel
163
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:27,848
on our staff.
164
00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,282
We do? Who?
165
00:07:30,818 --> 00:07:31,819
James.
166
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:35,656
Oh, yeah.
167
00:07:43,531 --> 00:07:45,799
(TELEVISION PLAYING
INDISTINCTLY)
168
00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:46,967
Eleven o'clock.
169
00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:49,369
Workday is over.
170
00:07:49,537 --> 00:07:51,004
Well, you're not
listening to me.
171
00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:52,673
That's not the
Mayor's position.
172
00:07:54,742 --> 00:07:56,376
I got to go.
173
00:07:57,845 --> 00:07:59,146
What do you
want to do?
174
00:07:59,246 --> 00:08:00,881
Oh, I don't know.
175
00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:09,723
What do you
want to do?
176
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,091
We could rent
a movie.
177
00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:12,693
Nah.
I don't
want to.
178
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:14,027
We could read.
179
00:08:14,562 --> 00:08:15,596
No.
180
00:08:16,564 --> 00:08:17,665
We could play Boggle.
181
00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:20,868
That's it.
I want to
play Boggle.
182
00:08:21,569 --> 00:08:22,570
(TELEPHONE RINGS)
183
00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:24,404
(ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS)
184
00:08:24,572 --> 00:08:25,839
(OVER SPEAKER)
Hey, Mike,
this is Paul.
185
00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:28,576
Listen, we're really
getting beat up on
this parade thing.
186
00:08:28,676 --> 00:08:31,178
It might be a good idea
maybe to have James
in there in the morning,
187
00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:32,245
answer some
questions.
All right.
188
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,347
Get back to me.
I'll see you.
189
00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:37,117
Have James there
to answer questions
about what?
190
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:38,619
Off the record?
191
00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:41,254
What it's like
to be a gay man in
the Mayor's office.
192
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,123
Since when
is James gay?
193
00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:44,725
Since about 5:15.
194
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:47,961
(TELEPHONE RINGS)
195
00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:49,262
(ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS)
196
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,598
(OVER SPEAKER)
Mike, it's Stuart.
197
00:08:50,664 --> 00:08:52,365
Sabatino turned
our offer down.
198
00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:53,867
I've rounded
everybody up.
199
00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:56,436
We're on our way over.
Be there in three minutes.
200
00:08:58,138 --> 00:08:59,372
Can we do it?
201
00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:01,074
Well, I could.
202
00:09:03,911 --> 00:09:05,245
(GRUNTS)
203
00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:08,682
I hate to say this,
but this could turn
into an all-nighter.
204
00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:10,283
Oh, great.
That's just
what I need.
205
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:13,053
You know,
I got a big day tomorrow.
I got to be up at 6:00.
206
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:16,023
Maybe you
should just crash
at your place tonight.
207
00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:17,224
No. I can't.
208
00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:18,491
Why not?
209
00:09:18,626 --> 00:09:20,127
I don't
have one.
210
00:09:20,828 --> 00:09:21,929
What?
211
00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:23,496
My lease,
it ran out
a few weeks ago,
212
00:09:23,631 --> 00:09:25,933
and I didn't bother
renewing it.
213
00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:28,235
Oh. So, then, uh...
214
00:09:29,970 --> 00:09:31,538
...we live together.
215
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:36,644
Well, yeah,
I guess.
216
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:39,212
I feel I should
have been told.
217
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:42,650
We already
live together.
218
00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:44,084
I mean,
it's not like I snuck
into your apartment.
219
00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:46,720
I've been sleeping
here every night for
a year and a half.
220
00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:48,689
As a guest.
221
00:09:49,657 --> 00:09:51,558
Oh, as a guest? Really?
222
00:09:51,659 --> 00:09:53,694
Look at that picture
over there, Mike.
223
00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:57,064
Oh, my God.
224
00:09:58,666 --> 00:10:00,500
Those aren't my parents.
225
00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:05,205
They're
my parents.
226
00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:06,807
Who did you
think they were?
227
00:10:07,775 --> 00:10:09,677
I thought they came
with the frame.
228
00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:13,781
That's my
dresser, too.
229
00:10:13,881 --> 00:10:15,783
All right. okay.
Well, listen, honey,
230
00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:18,218
a photo and
a dresser doesn't...
231
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:19,552
Couch.
232
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,390
Coffee table.
Television.
233
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:24,892
Okay.
234
00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:26,526
The dog.
235
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:31,665
Not Rex.
236
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:35,703
You do live here.
237
00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:36,804
Uh-huh.
238
00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:40,808
Where do I live?
239
00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:45,178
I... I can't believe
this is such a
big deal to you.
240
00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:47,180
I mean,
we eat together.
We sleep together.
241
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,149
We vacation
together.
242
00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:50,250
Mike, we're
each other's
243
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,886
"In case of emergency,
please notify" person.
244
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:58,759
I can't breathe.
245
00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:03,263
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
246
00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:05,866
You might want
to notify yourself.
247
00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:14,775
MAYOR: (OVER TV)
What are you, drunk?
248
00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:21,481
MAYOR: What's
in the journal?
249
00:11:21,581 --> 00:11:23,583
"Sanitation strike
cripples city."
250
00:11:23,751 --> 00:11:25,452
What about
the news?
251
00:11:25,552 --> 00:11:27,788
"Mayor snubs
gay community."
(GASPS)
252
00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:30,223
Anything in
the Post?
253
00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:33,293
"Family dog drives
heart attack victim
to hospital..."
254
00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:34,995
(SMACKS LIPS)
255
00:11:35,095 --> 00:11:37,097
"...as Mayor snubs
gay community."
256
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:39,266
I love the Post.
257
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,769
Here are your remarks
for the dedication, sir.
258
00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:43,871
"Proud to be here.
259
00:11:43,971 --> 00:11:45,906
"Proud of
a community
on the rise."
260
00:11:46,006 --> 00:11:46,774
Mmm-hmm.
261
00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:48,108
Basically,
you're just...
262
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,442
you're very...
263
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,144
very proud.
264
00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:53,781
You look
terrible, Flaherty.
265
00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:56,149
We were up all night
working on this thing.
266
00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:58,051
Mmm.
Ashley...
267
00:11:58,651 --> 00:11:59,619
Forget I
said that, okay?
268
00:11:59,787 --> 00:12:01,554
I don't want
to bother you.
269
00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:04,491
No bother.
Romantic problems
are, uh...
270
00:12:05,325 --> 00:12:06,393
right up my alley.
271
00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:10,998
I did a little
bird-dogging in my day.
272
00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:14,601
Let's hear it.
273
00:12:14,701 --> 00:12:16,636
All right, uh...
well, the thing is,
Ashley feels...
274
00:12:16,804 --> 00:12:18,071
You know
what you do?
275
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,909
Send her
to a spa.
276
00:12:22,009 --> 00:12:25,412
All is forgiven
in the 100-degree mud.
277
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:30,050
Or if that doesn't work,
you name a street after her...
278
00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:31,318
or a park.
279
00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:33,954
They love parks.
280
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:37,324
Those are three...
281
00:12:38,725 --> 00:12:41,028
...really good
suggestions, sir.
282
00:12:47,634 --> 00:12:48,836
Hey.
283
00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:50,470
Hey.
284
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:52,873
You've been
avoiding me
all morning.
285
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:56,043
I think
we need to talk.
Don't you?
286
00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:58,378
I think that everything that
needed to be said was said.
287
00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:00,113
I don't know
about that.
288
00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:03,050
You dropped a bomb
on me last night.
289
00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:04,584
I got a feeling
you didn't get
the reaction
290
00:13:04,684 --> 00:13:05,853
you were looking for.
291
00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:07,487
No, not at all.
I find hysterical paralysis
292
00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:09,156
very reassuring.
293
00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:13,160
I just
don't see what
the big problem is.
294
00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:16,463
All we have to do
is get your old
place back.
295
00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:19,867
Mike, will you tell me
why my apartment is
so important to you?
296
00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:22,102
Us. Important to us.
297
00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:25,873
It's our
safety net.
298
00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:28,942
It's a $900-a-month
empty room that allows you
to delude yourself
299
00:13:29,042 --> 00:13:30,944
into thinking
that you haven't
made a commitment.
300
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:34,347
Well... if it
does all that...
301
00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:38,351
...and
it's only
900 bucks...
302
00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:40,553
(SIGHS)
303
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,622
All right.
All right, look.
304
00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:46,226
You said
commitment,
and, uh...
305
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:48,929
and I got
a little crazy, okay?
306
00:13:49,029 --> 00:13:51,932
I admit that,
but I know what
you're saying,
307
00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:53,666
and you're right,
308
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:55,903
so let's
go ahead.
309
00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:57,170
Let's do it.
310
00:13:58,771 --> 00:14:00,273
We live together.
311
00:14:04,811 --> 00:14:06,146
Just like that.
312
00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:07,347
Yeah.
313
00:14:10,918 --> 00:14:12,185
Isn't it great?
314
00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:17,224
I don't
think so, Mike.
(SIGHS)
315
00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:18,825
Now I'm
really confused.
316
00:14:18,926 --> 00:14:20,160
Well, I'm
confused, too.
317
00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:21,328
I mean,
this is hard.
You know?
318
00:14:21,428 --> 00:14:24,031
I think we should just
take some time off.
319
00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:27,734
Would you like
to go to a spa?
320
00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:31,404
Look, I'm sure
with work,
321
00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:32,839
we'll see
each other
all the time.
322
00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:34,607
You know, I think
we should just,
323
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:37,410
keep the rest
of our relationship
platonic for a while.
324
00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:38,478
Oh, I see. Okay.
325
00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:42,182
Just keep exactly
what we have now.
326
00:14:42,282 --> 00:14:43,550
Just...
327
00:14:43,650 --> 00:14:44,717
without the sex.
328
00:14:47,154 --> 00:14:49,089
I'm gonna have
to vote no on that.
329
00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:54,461
You know what? I really care
about you, Michael. I do.
330
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:57,230
I love you, but... I ask
for an honest reaction,
331
00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:58,999
you know,
and all I get
is a joke.
332
00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:00,167
I love you,
too, honey.
333
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:02,235
We're just
different.
That's all,
334
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:04,637
but, you know,
hey, hey, different is good.
335
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:07,274
You know,
that's why it's great
that we're together,
336
00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:10,810
because I think
we need people like you
337
00:15:10,978 --> 00:15:13,080
to keep people
like me in check,
338
00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:15,748
and I think
that we need
people like me
339
00:15:15,848 --> 00:15:18,318
to keep people
like you from
overthinking things.
340
00:15:19,987 --> 00:15:21,989
And I think that...
that people...
341
00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:26,759
...who need people...
342
00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:32,465
...the
luckiest people
in the world.
343
00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:38,805
See, we're different.
I would have laughed at that.
344
00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:41,541
Michael, as per
your request,
345
00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:45,012
I have scheduled
a press conference
this afternoon at 5 o'clock
346
00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:47,147
to introduce
a key member
of our staff,
347
00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:50,017
who also happens
to be homosexual,
348
00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:51,851
but guess
what, Mike?
349
00:15:52,019 --> 00:15:54,754
James here says
that he's not gay.
350
00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:56,223
Ten bucks
in the kitty, James.
351
00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:58,025
I can't take this
anymore, Mike.
352
00:15:58,091 --> 00:15:59,192
I can't
take it.
353
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,394
I don't know
what's real
and what's not.
354
00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:04,031
I don't know
day from night,
good from evil.
355
00:16:04,064 --> 00:16:05,898
I'm lost.
I'm lost. I'm lost.
356
00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:09,302
Don't melt down
on me, Paul.
357
00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:12,272
Not today, okay?
I need you.
358
00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:14,341
This is a very
emotional time.
359
00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:18,545
James being gay
surprised all of us.
360
00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:21,048
Especially James.
361
00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:23,416
Come on, Paulie.
For me?
362
00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:25,618
All right,
all right,
all right.
363
00:16:27,054 --> 00:16:28,388
All right, look.
If we're going
to go through
364
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,657
with your charade
of a press conference,
365
00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:32,059
we may as well take
a couple of minutes,
366
00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:34,094
go over the sort of questions
you're going to get asked.
367
00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:35,862
Is it really
going to be
that big a deal?
368
00:16:37,064 --> 00:16:38,965
I mean, it's not like
it's front-page stuff.
369
00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:40,300
Is it?
370
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,770
You might want
to call your parents.
371
00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:52,545
Uh, Janelle, I'd like you
to get Ashley... Schaeffer
372
00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:54,414
on the phone
for me, please.
373
00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:58,751
What?
374
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:02,522
This is
getting ridiculous.
You've tried 23 times.
375
00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:04,524
I don't care.
376
00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:06,893
I don't feel
like an idiot.
377
00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:11,598
You're not the one
making the calls.
378
00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:15,568
Hey, Mike.
Mike, get over here.
379
00:17:15,668 --> 00:17:17,104
This guy's
killing us.
380
00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:20,507
No. This wasn't
just a slight
to the gay community.
381
00:17:20,607 --> 00:17:22,375
We consider it
to be symptomatic
382
00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:25,178
of a hostile
and repressive
administration.
383
00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:27,914
And until we see
significant changes,
384
00:17:28,014 --> 00:17:30,650
we are going to harass
and haunt the Mayor
at every turn.
385
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:32,852
We are going to make
his life miserable
386
00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:34,154
over the next
four years
387
00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:35,222
and make sure
there aren't
388
00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:37,557
four years
after that.
389
00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:39,592
Now, what do you people
have to say about that?
390
00:17:40,227 --> 00:17:41,894
What can I say?
391
00:17:41,994 --> 00:17:44,897
You're hired!
I love this guy.
Get him a desk.
392
00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:46,399
Mike, Mike...
393
00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:48,135
Uh, listen.
394
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:50,637
You know I'd do
anything for you.
395
00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:52,772
I would.
396
00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:55,642
And so
when you asked me
to be gay for you...
397
00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:00,647
...I gave it a lot
of thought, and, uh...
398
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:03,783
Let me say first off
how honored I am
that you chose me.
399
00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:07,154
James, James...
relax, okay?
400
00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:08,788
You're not
gay anymore.
401
00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:13,593
"Hostile
and repressive."
402
00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:15,262
That's good.
That's a good line.
403
00:18:15,362 --> 00:18:18,398
I thought
"Backward and medieval"
was pretty good, too.
404
00:18:18,498 --> 00:18:20,967
"Morally stunted
and Machiavellian."
405
00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:24,171
Look, it's very easy
to stand outside
throwing rocks.
406
00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:27,440
But please, do not have
the unmitigated audacity...
407
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:28,875
Two very big words...
408
00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:32,912
...to question what
I believe in, okay?
409
00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:34,381
I'm offering you
a chance to come in,
410
00:18:34,481 --> 00:18:36,949
sit down at the table,
and make policy.
411
00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:39,819
This... this is
the opportunity
of a lifetime.
412
00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:43,089
If I act now, do I get
a free set of steak knives?
413
00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:46,393
The Mayor
made a mistake.
414
00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:47,760
I admit that.
415
00:18:48,395 --> 00:18:49,562
But what do you
want to do?
416
00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:50,630
Do you want
to stay out there
417
00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:52,565
and bitch
about a parade,
418
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:55,335
or do you want to come in
and make a difference?
419
00:18:56,703 --> 00:18:58,238
You won't be able
to control me.
420
00:18:58,638 --> 00:18:59,972
You know that.
421
00:19:01,608 --> 00:19:02,675
How we doing
in here?
422
00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:04,211
Mr. Mayor,
perfect timing
as usual.
423
00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:06,546
I think we're
pretty close to
making a decision.
424
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:07,714
Mr. Mayor...
Yes.
425
00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:08,748
...thank you
for asking me
426
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:10,283
to be a part of
this administration.
427
00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:11,518
I accept...
Oh.
428
00:19:11,618 --> 00:19:12,852
...and I promise you,
as long as you're in office,
429
00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:15,021
I'm going to be
your worst nightmare.
430
00:19:15,722 --> 00:19:16,889
Mike, is that good?
431
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:20,327
It's good.
432
00:19:20,427 --> 00:19:22,061
Splendid!
Welcome aboard.
433
00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:26,433
MAN: Good night, good night.
WOMAN: Good night.
434
00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:28,134
We're meeting Carter
for a beer to celebrate.
435
00:19:28,235 --> 00:19:29,236
You want
to join us?
436
00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:30,970
Uh, no,
I don't think so.
All right.
437
00:19:32,539 --> 00:19:34,741
We're meeting
at Houlihan's, right?
438
00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:37,076
Yes.
439
00:19:37,244 --> 00:19:39,579
Really?
'Cause I went there
the other night,
440
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:41,147
and none
of you guys showed.
441
00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:43,750
Imagine that.
442
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:48,821
Can I talk
to you for
a second?
443
00:19:49,456 --> 00:19:50,690
Yeah.
444
00:19:52,259 --> 00:19:53,626
Talk.
445
00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:55,762
Okay, I thought
that part was going
to take a lot longer,
446
00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:58,265
so I'm not
really prepared...
Oh, to hell with it.
447
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:01,734
Okay, uh...
448
00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:03,336
Here goes.
449
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:09,108
(EXHALES)
450
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,811
Are you done?
Because that was
very moving.
451
00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:14,681
Would it make
any difference to you
452
00:20:14,781 --> 00:20:18,451
if I gave up
my own apartment?
453
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,019
I don't know
what good that
would do,
454
00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:22,622
seeing that neither
one of us would have
a place to live then.
455
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:25,825
Okay, 'cause I sublet
my apartment this afternoon.
456
00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:27,827
Needless to say,
I was hoping
457
00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:29,929
for a completely
different answer.
458
00:20:31,097 --> 00:20:32,699
I just...
459
00:20:32,799 --> 00:20:37,003
figured that if... we're
going to do this for real...
460
00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:40,840
...we should have
a fresh start.
461
00:20:42,942 --> 00:20:44,877
You sure
about this, Mike?
462
00:20:44,977 --> 00:20:47,480
Maybe I didn't know
what all this meant,
463
00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:49,215
but I do now.
464
00:20:50,717 --> 00:20:52,652
I really...
465
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:54,887
really want us
to live together.
466
00:20:56,122 --> 00:20:57,123
No nets?
467
00:20:58,525 --> 00:20:59,959
I live
for danger.
468
00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:02,194
(DOOR OPENS)
MAYOR: Michael?
469
00:21:02,329 --> 00:21:05,064
Hello.
Walk out with me,
would you, please?
470
00:21:07,434 --> 00:21:09,902
Oh, just
one thing.
471
00:21:11,838 --> 00:21:13,506
Promise to tell me
if we get married.
472
00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:19,546
Okay, sir, what can
I do for you?
Yeah.
473
00:21:19,646 --> 00:21:21,013
Anything
I need
to know?
474
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:23,683
Uh, well, I've been
back and forth
with Sabatino all day.
475
00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:24,851
I mean, I don't think
the guy realizes
476
00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:26,118
what we're
offering.
477
00:21:26,218 --> 00:21:28,220
I'll give him
another call.
478
00:21:28,355 --> 00:21:30,557
Mike, it's a strike.
There's no quick fix here.
479
00:21:30,657 --> 00:21:32,124
Now, just
let it rest.
480
00:21:32,224 --> 00:21:33,526
You know, the city's
not going to fall apart
481
00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:35,628
because you take
one night off.
482
00:21:35,728 --> 00:21:37,797
I mean,
it probably will,
483
00:21:37,897 --> 00:21:39,131
but it
will anyway.
484
00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:43,269
So, where are
you off to?
485
00:21:43,370 --> 00:21:45,204
A fund-raiser. Um...
486
00:21:45,372 --> 00:21:47,440
Oh, yeah,
Jewish Community Center,
487
00:21:47,540 --> 00:21:48,541
Rego Park.
488
00:21:50,076 --> 00:21:52,379
Well, shalom, sir.
489
00:21:52,479 --> 00:21:53,880
L'chayim, Mike.
490
00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:56,383
(SINGS
HASIDIC SONG)
491
00:22:02,622 --> 00:22:04,991
Good night,
Mr. Flaherty.
Good night, Skippy.
492
00:22:08,395 --> 00:22:09,929
ASHLEY: So, where
should we live?
493
00:22:10,029 --> 00:22:11,798
Chelsea? SoHo?
494
00:22:11,898 --> 00:22:13,099
Tribeca?
495
00:22:14,033 --> 00:22:15,468
What's wrong
with this place?
496
00:22:17,404 --> 00:22:18,505
It's furnished.
497
00:22:18,605 --> 00:22:19,639
Rent's cheap.
498
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:23,142
Unbelievably short
commute for me.
499
00:22:25,612 --> 00:22:28,014
Okay... let me
just warn you.
500
00:22:28,114 --> 00:22:30,116
(CLEARS THROAT)
Everything we do
here is on record.
501
00:22:31,050 --> 00:22:32,419
Let's go
to a hotel.
502
00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:35,154
What are
you doing?
503
00:22:35,254 --> 00:22:36,789
Just checking
my voicemail.
504
00:22:36,889 --> 00:22:37,890
(ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS)
505
00:22:37,990 --> 00:22:39,426
Mike, look
at your watch.
506
00:22:41,894 --> 00:22:43,963
Whoa, 11:05,
what do you know?
507
00:22:45,031 --> 00:22:46,232
Workday's over.
508
00:22:48,234 --> 00:22:49,235
Honey.
509
00:22:54,641 --> 00:22:56,108
Fine,
it worked
for you.
510
00:22:57,444 --> 00:22:59,846
Yeah, well,
it's working
for you, too.
511
00:22:59,946 --> 00:23:01,247
(ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS)
512
00:23:02,549 --> 00:23:04,517
(OVER SPEAKER) Hey, Mike,
this is Paul. Listen.
513
00:23:04,617 --> 00:23:05,985
I'm at Houlihan's.
514
00:23:06,085 --> 00:23:08,254
Where the hell
is everybody?
36798
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