Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,797 --> 00:00:06,282
- Mr. Patterson?
2
00:00:08,629 --> 00:00:10,527
[mumbling]
3
00:00:15,877 --> 00:00:18,570
- [loudly] In your own
time, Mr. Patterson.
4
00:00:29,132 --> 00:00:30,306
[wrapper scrunching]
5
00:00:31,997 --> 00:00:34,206
- [mouth full] Mmm!
6
00:00:34,241 --> 00:00:36,760
Mr. Patterson. [swallows]
Please take a seat.
7
00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:38,210
[grunts]
8
00:00:38,210 --> 00:00:39,798
- Thank you young man.
9
00:00:42,559 --> 00:00:43,284
[door shuts]
10
00:00:43,836 --> 00:00:46,149
- And you said it's been
itching quite badly?
11
00:00:46,184 --> 00:00:47,840
- [affirmative hum]
12
00:00:47,875 --> 00:00:50,671
- Well, those look like bites,
I'm afraid.
13
00:00:50,705 --> 00:00:51,844
- [quizzical hum]
14
00:00:51,879 --> 00:00:53,846
- I think you have crabs Mr. P.
15
00:00:53,881 --> 00:00:56,159
- Aww, no, no.
16
00:00:56,228 --> 00:00:57,091
- Yeah.
17
00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,853
Look, it uh... it could
be from sharing a towel
18
00:01:00,922 --> 00:01:02,338
with a younger family member,
19
00:01:02,372 --> 00:01:05,548
or maybe you haven't been
washing your bed sheets.
20
00:01:06,204 --> 00:01:07,412
- Or it might've come from all
21
00:01:07,446 --> 00:01:09,621
the intercourse I've been having
lately.
22
00:01:09,655 --> 00:01:11,830
I'm sorry [laughs] - poon tang.
23
00:01:11,864 --> 00:01:14,660
Now that's what kids call
it these days isn't it?
24
00:01:15,765 --> 00:01:18,699
- Well, as long as you've only
been having
25
00:01:18,733 --> 00:01:20,183
intercourse with your ...
26
00:01:20,252 --> 00:01:22,047
Your other half, it
shouldn't be from that,
27
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,497
regular partners and all.
28
00:01:23,497 --> 00:01:24,498
[laughs]
29
00:01:24,532 --> 00:01:27,017
- Well nah, nah, my
wife died years ago ...
30
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,191
bless her memory,
31
00:01:28,226 --> 00:01:30,228
but have I told you what she
said to me
32
00:01:30,297 --> 00:01:32,402
on that last day she was on
Earth?
33
00:01:32,437 --> 00:01:35,440
- Ah... was it to do with ...
poon tang?
34
00:01:35,474 --> 00:01:38,236
- Oh, don't be churlish now.
35
00:01:38,236 --> 00:01:41,584
Look, over there at Shady
Palms they're all into it.
36
00:01:41,618 --> 00:01:43,931
I mean you get a bit of Meredith
on Monday
37
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:47,831
and some of Tabitha on
Tuesday and so on, on it goes.
38
00:01:47,866 --> 00:01:50,869
I mean it all helps you remember
what day of the week it is.
39
00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:52,871
- Ah, I'm sure it does.
40
00:01:52,905 --> 00:01:55,080
Mr. P, if that's all good, I'll
get you to
41
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,909
pop in next week for a
follow-up.
42
00:01:56,909 --> 00:01:57,979
- Next week?
43
00:01:57,979 --> 00:02:02,087
Well, I'd be free on
Francine morning or ah...
44
00:02:02,156 --> 00:02:03,951
or Sandra afternoon.
45
00:02:04,227 --> 00:02:05,228
- Sandra?
46
00:02:05,539 --> 00:02:06,678
- Yeah.
47
00:02:06,678 --> 00:02:08,369
- Wait. Shady Palms
retirement...
48
00:02:10,613 --> 00:02:11,855
Grandma, no.
49
00:02:12,684 --> 00:02:13,685
- Hey?
50
00:02:14,824 --> 00:02:16,066
- Granny?
51
00:02:16,101 --> 00:02:17,137
GRANNY!
52
00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:20,140
[upbeat music]
53
00:02:40,056 --> 00:02:42,472
- Nothing says accomplished
sexual health clinic
54
00:02:42,472 --> 00:02:45,510
like a team excursion to Shady
Palms Retirement Village.
55
00:02:45,510 --> 00:02:47,477
Take that Graft!
56
00:02:47,512 --> 00:02:49,479
We're here to battle
these crabs at the source.
57
00:02:49,514 --> 00:02:52,344
And you know what? Feeling good.
58
00:02:52,379 --> 00:02:55,209
- I don't do the elderly, nup.
59
00:02:55,278 --> 00:02:59,144
See, when I was young, I
was holding my... um...
60
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:03,700
Grandfather Tom's hand
while he was napping
61
00:03:03,769 --> 00:03:05,599
and he ...
62
00:03:05,633 --> 00:03:06,876
slipped away,
63
00:03:06,910 --> 00:03:08,118
just like that.
64
00:03:08,153 --> 00:03:09,948
I didn't even notice.
65
00:03:09,982 --> 00:03:13,262
Rigor mortis set in and... they
ended up
66
00:03:13,296 --> 00:03:16,334
having to use a...
67
00:03:16,334 --> 00:03:18,957
a buzzsaw to get me free.
68
00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:23,996
12 hours I held his cold...
69
00:03:24,031 --> 00:03:26,413
dead ... hand.
70
00:03:26,447 --> 00:03:29,312
- I love the elderly, they're
super cute
71
00:03:29,381 --> 00:03:31,970
and you get this wholesome
feeling whenever you help them.
72
00:03:33,282 --> 00:03:35,663
This must be how Mother Theresa
felt.
73
00:03:37,389 --> 00:03:38,735
[running footsteps]
74
00:03:38,804 --> 00:03:41,704
Look Steph, I'm Mother T!
75
00:03:41,704 --> 00:03:45,259
- Crabs, Langdon, remember?
76
00:03:45,294 --> 00:03:46,467
- Oh, no.
77
00:03:47,537 --> 00:03:49,608
[whimpers]
78
00:03:49,677 --> 00:03:53,405
[electric razor being used]
79
00:03:53,474 --> 00:03:54,958
[loud squeals]
80
00:04:04,658 --> 00:04:09,663
- Hi, hello, hi, you must be
the sexual health doctors,
81
00:04:09,697 --> 00:04:11,320
I am Nurse Fletcher.
82
00:04:11,354 --> 00:04:12,182
- It's lovely to meet you.
83
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,494
- It's lovely to meet you too.
84
00:04:13,529 --> 00:04:16,635
- Nurse Fletcher, can I have
some tea?
85
00:04:16,704 --> 00:04:19,914
- Ye- NO! Peter, you may
not have some more tea,
86
00:04:19,949 --> 00:04:24,333
because it is not teatime! How
many times must I tell you!
87
00:04:24,367 --> 00:04:25,748
[laughs]
88
00:04:25,782 --> 00:04:28,889
You must excuse them, no
better than animals I'm afraid.
89
00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:34,446
Don't think we don't hear
you, at night, bonking away.
90
00:04:35,102 --> 00:04:37,760
[imitates squeaking]
91
00:04:37,829 --> 00:04:41,281
Dotty? Dotty! Hello
Dotty, I'm looking at you!
92
00:04:42,661 --> 00:04:45,975
Dotty's a screamer. [laughs]
93
00:04:45,975 --> 00:04:48,184
- Should you be talking to them
like that?
94
00:04:48,218 --> 00:04:49,806
- Well, they all understand
English.
95
00:04:49,841 --> 00:04:52,395
I mean, not that you'd know half
the time.
96
00:04:52,395 --> 00:04:54,190
- I mean, they are people.
97
00:04:54,224 --> 00:04:57,676
- Please. That's how they
get you off your guard;
98
00:04:57,745 --> 00:04:58,953
they all know what they're
doing.
99
00:04:58,988 --> 00:05:02,543
It's all mind games. [laughs]
100
00:05:02,578 --> 00:05:04,925
Don't think I don't know
about your mind games.
101
00:05:04,925 --> 00:05:08,308
You're all sick, you're sick!
102
00:05:08,342 --> 00:05:10,620
Anyway, I've got to go organize
lunch
103
00:05:10,689 --> 00:05:13,727
because if I don't feed them
I will not hear the end of it.
104
00:05:13,761 --> 00:05:16,108
[chuckling]
105
00:05:19,698 --> 00:05:21,873
[clanking]
106
00:05:25,014 --> 00:05:28,258
- All right, let's start the
checks!
107
00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:33,850
I'll start with Mr. P
and my grandma, Sandra,
108
00:05:33,885 --> 00:05:35,473
is that one right there.
109
00:05:35,507 --> 00:05:36,474
Wanna start with her?
110
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:42,721
- No. No, I do not want to.
111
00:05:47,795 --> 00:05:49,832
[clears throat]
112
00:05:49,901 --> 00:05:51,558
- Ah, hello!
113
00:05:51,592 --> 00:05:54,215
- Got to... got to check you.
114
00:05:55,285 --> 00:05:58,012
- Sorry love, I can't
hear what you're saying,
115
00:05:58,047 --> 00:05:59,911
my hearing aid is on the blink.
116
00:05:59,980 --> 00:06:01,499
Can you come a bit closer?
117
00:06:03,190 --> 00:06:05,917
[panicked breathing]
118
00:06:07,953 --> 00:06:11,371
- Mr.P? How we doing today,
little guy?
119
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:13,442
- Oh, can't complain.
120
00:06:13,511 --> 00:06:16,479
- Betcha can. Now, I'm
gonna take you down the hall
121
00:06:16,548 --> 00:06:19,275
and give your little Peter
a little patter, okay?
122
00:06:19,309 --> 00:06:21,277
- What are you talking
to me like that for?
123
00:06:21,311 --> 00:06:23,486
I fought in the war, you know.
124
00:06:23,521 --> 00:06:24,245
- Really?
125
00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:27,179
- Yeah, I was a doctor, yeah.
126
00:06:30,148 --> 00:06:30,942
See?
127
00:06:37,673 --> 00:06:42,160
You know, you remind me
of me when I was young.
128
00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:43,575
- Heavily in debt?
129
00:06:43,575 --> 00:06:46,820
- No, patronizing as shit.
130
00:06:46,854 --> 00:06:49,443
We're not infirm, you know.
131
00:06:49,478 --> 00:06:51,031
We've just got to put
up with a lot of crap.
132
00:06:51,065 --> 00:06:54,759
That we've been ordered around
by bossy-pants over there.
133
00:06:56,657 --> 00:07:00,074
- If you really were a doctor,
then what's with the crabs?
134
00:07:00,109 --> 00:07:02,560
- Well, we're bored.
135
00:07:02,594 --> 00:07:04,562
I mean, when you get to our age,
136
00:07:04,596 --> 00:07:08,635
even being a little bit
reckless is like half the risk.
137
00:07:08,669 --> 00:07:09,532
Give us that.
138
00:07:10,499 --> 00:07:14,054
If that bloody nurse just
let me out now and then,
139
00:07:14,088 --> 00:07:16,505
I wouldn't have to resort
to servicing Sandra
140
00:07:16,574 --> 00:07:17,678
all the bloody time.
141
00:07:19,059 --> 00:07:20,094
[teacup shatters]
142
00:07:20,094 --> 00:07:24,547
- Aw, Dotty dropped her teacup.
143
00:07:24,616 --> 00:07:25,824
Classic Dotty.
144
00:07:25,859 --> 00:07:29,449
Let's give her a big round
of applause, everyone.
145
00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:32,382
Well done Dotty, back
to sippy cups for you.
146
00:07:34,695 --> 00:07:35,869
[drum beat]
147
00:07:40,390 --> 00:07:41,599
[door opens]
148
00:07:41,633 --> 00:07:46,327
- Steph, I think the real
problem is- Grandma, God, no!
149
00:07:51,643 --> 00:07:52,575
[door closes]
150
00:07:52,610 --> 00:07:55,682
- Great timing, I mean not for
you, but-
151
00:07:55,716 --> 00:07:56,614
- I have an idea.
152
00:07:56,648 --> 00:07:58,270
- Great, let's do it.
153
00:07:58,305 --> 00:07:59,548
- You haven't heard it yet.
154
00:07:59,548 --> 00:08:01,757
- Doesn't matter, I don't
want to go back in there.
155
00:08:01,791 --> 00:08:03,413
Let's do your idea.
156
00:08:03,448 --> 00:08:06,658
- What I was going to say, is
the real problem is Fletcher.
157
00:08:06,727 --> 00:08:08,108
They're not allowed to do
anything,
158
00:08:08,177 --> 00:08:10,835
so they get bored, and keep
reinfecting each other.
159
00:08:10,835 --> 00:08:12,802
- Love it, what do you want me
to do?
160
00:08:15,391 --> 00:08:18,256
- Mr. P? Get your hat, we're
leaving.
161
00:08:19,222 --> 00:08:20,741
- Where are we going?
162
00:08:20,810 --> 00:08:22,502
- To the park.
163
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:28,577
- Here we go.
164
00:08:30,164 --> 00:08:31,856
- Where do you think you're
going?
165
00:08:33,167 --> 00:08:35,376
- I am escorting Mr. Patterson,
166
00:08:35,411 --> 00:08:38,518
and anyone else who would
like to come, to the park.
167
00:08:39,795 --> 00:08:41,244
- You can't do that.
168
00:08:41,244 --> 00:08:45,697
- Yes I can. As a visitor, I
can take Mr. P out if he wants.
169
00:08:45,766 --> 00:08:47,423
I read it in your brochure.
170
00:08:48,424 --> 00:08:51,013
Well, if you'd read
the brochure carefully,
171
00:08:51,047 --> 00:08:54,775
you would see that you need
at least two adults to escort
172
00:08:54,844 --> 00:08:57,571
a consenting resident,
unless they're family.
173
00:08:57,640 --> 00:08:59,228
That's two.
174
00:09:03,853 --> 00:09:04,716
- Steph.
175
00:09:10,101 --> 00:09:12,966
[heavenly music]
176
00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:25,392
- [Grandfather Tom] I'm just
gonna take
177
00:09:25,461 --> 00:09:27,187
a little nap, Stephanie.
178
00:09:27,187 --> 00:09:30,190
- [Young Steph] Okay Grandad,
love you.
179
00:09:30,190 --> 00:09:31,571
- [Paramedic] Get the buzzsaw.
180
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:34,504
[buzzsaw whirring]
181
00:09:39,544 --> 00:09:43,859
[residents cheering and
clapping]
182
00:09:43,893 --> 00:09:46,068
- Bloody animals! All of you!
183
00:09:46,102 --> 00:09:48,242
Ow! OW! Ah, Stop!
184
00:09:48,277 --> 00:09:50,486
[sippy cups hitting the ground]
185
00:09:57,804 --> 00:09:59,771
- I'm proud of us, Steph.
186
00:09:59,771 --> 00:10:01,359
If doctors can't make people
feel better,
187
00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:03,533
then what's the point?
188
00:10:03,568 --> 00:10:04,983
- To stop crabs?
189
00:10:04,983 --> 00:10:07,261
- Ah, yeah, that.
190
00:10:07,330 --> 00:10:10,437
Oh, ice cream! I'll grab us some
cones.
191
00:10:16,719 --> 00:10:20,378
- It's not that bad, was it Mr.
Patterson?
192
00:10:21,551 --> 00:10:22,483
Mr. Patterson?
193
00:10:25,245 --> 00:10:27,903
Mr... Mr. Patterson!
194
00:10:27,937 --> 00:10:30,491
Oh, no, no.
195
00:10:30,526 --> 00:10:31,458
Not again!
196
00:10:32,873 --> 00:10:34,737
No- LANGDON!
197
00:10:34,772 --> 00:10:35,704
NO!
198
00:10:35,738 --> 00:10:38,983
[upbeat music]
199
00:10:41,261 --> 00:10:44,091
- No matter your age, the
best way of preventing STIs
200
00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:46,197
is by using a condom or dental
dam
201
00:10:46,231 --> 00:10:48,440
when you're having sex or using
toys.
202
00:10:48,475 --> 00:10:50,235
Remember to check the
expiration date though,
203
00:10:50,270 --> 00:10:51,823
because if it is out of date
204
00:10:51,858 --> 00:10:53,514
it has an increased chance of
breaking.
205
00:10:53,549 --> 00:10:55,689
So, if you're eighty years
old and are still holding on
206
00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:58,485
to that condom you purchased in
1945,
207
00:10:58,485 --> 00:11:00,280
best to consider chucking it
out.
208
00:11:00,314 --> 00:11:04,008
- And remember condoms don't
prevent against all STIs,
209
00:11:04,042 --> 00:11:05,216
like crabs,
210
00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:08,702
which is why regular STI
tests are still important.
211
00:11:08,771 --> 00:11:12,361
[upbeat music]
14848
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof